I have done a lot of things during these past five years I've been stranded in Equestria, some good and some bad. Lately I have taken up the occupation of Adventurer, traveling the land and solving any problems a pony can think of, provided they can pay of course. Lucky for me, my newest client lives a very... interesting life.
This is my first foray into a serious work of writing, so do not take it too seriously. I hope that you all are at least somewhat entertained! Gore warning for possible wound descriptions.
Chapters (2)
The story had a few issues in the beginning of the repetition of similar statements to these;
alongside a few others. Nonetheless, the story had a nice pace concerning the dialogues.
I'd say focus more on dialogues, we reader really do like being able to see to the discussions taken place between Main Characters and other OCs and MLP;FIM Casts.
Such a shame the story hadn't continued from its infancy. I'd imagine the main character is frozen in place, and is unable to have motion to continue his story.
Hopefully you'd change your mind and start sifting through the story files of Fimfiction once more.
Todaloo.