Baking Goods!
Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and Applejack met up at Applejack's house after school to make a plan and a budget for the bake sale.
"Okay, Ah talked t' th' Principal jes' t' be sure," Applejack said as she sharpened a pencil. "If'n we make sure an' keep our receipts, we git reimbursed half'a whut we spend on ingredients. Us three pitchin' in together equal shares, we can probably go...ah dunno, fifty each? An' with th' apples fer mah part comin' right off our farm an' th' eggs fer all our stuff too, that cuts down on a lot..."
"Yeah, if we hit the right stores, we can really clean up," Pinkie agreed.
"We'll need to price shop before we commit to buying," Fluttershy pointed out. "Flour may be cheaper at one store, sugar at another, milk someplace else."
"Good call," Applejack agreed. "An' we gotta work on a timetable fer all this. Ah mean, we can bake up a storm, but we only got so many ovens, an' we want everything fresh as possible fer th' bake sale."
"And it starts at ten in the morning," Fluttershy said with a frown. "That's not exactly the best planning on the school's part."
"Yeah, if we wanna bring in fresh-baked goodies, we'll hafta be up baking most of the night that Friday," Pinkie said. She gasped. "I know! We can have an all-night baking party!"
"Problem is, we're gonna hafta split th' load between your place an' my place," Applejack said. "Ah'm gonna be usin' Granny's special pie oven and our regular oven."
"Yeah, we've only got one oven at my place," Pinkie said. "I'm pretty good at multitasking when I bake, though. You have to be when you do as much baking as I do."
"We didn't really think this going in as a group thing out very well," Fluttershy said with a sigh. "Basically it's going to be me and Pinkie working in one kitchen and Applejack working alone in another."
They sat in contemplative silence for a long moment.
"Maybe not," Pinkie said suddenly.
"What do you mean?" Fluttershy asked.
Pinkie stood up. "Let's go," she said. "Fluttershy, you drive."
* * * * *
Fifteen minutes later, Fluttershy's van pulled into the parking lot of Las Galletas Hermanas. "Okay, here we are," Fluttershy said as she killed the engine. "Umm, why are we here?"
Pinkie got out. "Follow my lead," she said. "Keep quiet."
Applejack and Fluttershy exchanged a confused shrug as they followed Pinkie into the store. There weren't many customers at this hour; as soon as the door opened, the sweet smell of cookies overpowered the girls. Pinkie walked up to the counter, where a young woman stood wearing a yellow shirt and a sunny smile.
"What can I get you today?" the woman asked.
"Oatmeal Raisin," Pinkie said.
The woman nodded and picked up a pair of plastic tongs, reaching into a display case full of cookies next to the counter. Pinkie groaned and slapped her hand. "No! I need to speak to Oatmeal Raisin," she clarified.
"Oh," the woman said. She frowned nervously. "One second." She swung the microphone mounted to the counter around and leaned into it. "Manager assistance requested at the counter," she said. Straightening up, she addressed Pinkie. "She'll be with you shortly."
"Thank you," Pinkie said. After a pause, she added, "Actually, we'll take six of the oatmeal raisin while we wait."
The cashier filled a paper tray with six cookies and handed it to Pinkie, who produced a wad of money from her skirt, then led her friends over to a quiet corner table.
"Alright, whut're you up to, Pinkie Pie?" Applejack asked as she took a cookie.
"Solving our kitchen problem, I hope," Pinkie said as she took a bite of cookie. "Mmm, these are good."
"Thank you," a woman's deep, soft voice said from just above them.
Fluttershy let out a startled squeak. Applejack raised an eyebrow.
A woman wearing khaki pants and a yellow polo shirt stood beside the table. She couldn't be more than perhaps fifty; her brown face was faintly lined with wrinkles, and her short, curly hair was dark. She wore rimless glasses which had left deep furrows in the bridge of her nose. Her face was placid, devoid of expression. "May I help you?" she asked softly.
Pinkie looked up at her, an uncharacteristic serious expression on her face. "I've reconsidered," she said quietly. "I'm in. Twelve dozen a week for twelve weeks. One condition."
Oatmeal Raisin's expression didn't change. She didn't say anything.
"Next Friday and Saturday night, unlimited access to the kitchen for me and my friends."
Oatmeal Raisin's lip twitched. She calmly sat down next to Applejack and leaned forward slightly. "The bake sale," she said.
Pinkie nodded. "We need a place to cook."
Oatmeal Raisin frowned almost imperceptibly. She glanced at Applejack. "I trust you'll be supplying your own apples?"
"We'll bring as many supplies of our own as we can," Pinkie promised. "We just need your ovens and nobody hovering over us."
Oatmeal Raisin folded her hands. "Twelve dozen a week for twelve weeks," she repeated.
"That's the deal," Pinkie said with a nod.
Oatmeal Raisin sat back, a small smile on her face. "Very well. I wish you the best of luck." She started to stand, then stopped. With a cautious glance at Applejack and Fluttershy, she leaned forward and whispered, "I had hoped for a more permanent business arrangement."
Pinkie shook her head. "You know why I can't." Her face became unusually grim. "Unless you want to go up against Maud."
Oatmeal Raisin sat back, her face once again placid. "I know when the risk exceeds the reward," she said. She stood. "Twelve dozen a week. Twelve weeks. You have the kitchen for two nights beginning next Friday." She nodded to Applejack and Fluttershy. "Enjoy your cookies." She turned and walked away.
Once she was out of earshot, Pinkie sighed. "Boy I hope I can pull this off."
The other girls stared at her. Applejack raised an eyebrow. "Okay, whut'n th' heck's goin' on?"
"Not here," Pinkie said. "I'll explain later."
* * * * *
Pinkie Pie pulled a hot tray of steaming cookies out of Applejack's oven, set them on a cooling rack, and stepped back. She took off her oven mitts and removed her safety goggles. "They're ready!" she called.
Fluttershy and Applejack walked into the kitchen and looked around at the complicated chemistry setup Pinkie had erected around the Apple family kitchen, trading an uneasy glance. "I'm...I'm almost afraid to even ask," Fluttershy said.
Applejack frowned. "You're cleanin' up this whole mess yourself, you know," she said.
"Yeah, sorry for the mess," Pinkie said. "This recipe's a little complicated." She waved the girls forward. They walked up to the counter where the sheet of cookies sat cooling.
"They're sugar cookies," Applejack said.
"They're blue," Fluttershy noted.
Indeed, just over a dozen broad, puffy sugar cookies sat on the sheet. The cookies had a faint clear blue tint to them.
"So they're blue sugar cookies. Big deal," Applejack said.
"They smell tasty," Fluttershy said. She tore a paper towel off the roll hanging over the counter, laid it flat next to the baking sheet, and took a spatula from the utensil drawer. She carefully pried a cookie from the baking sheet and laid it on the paper towel.
"Careful," Pinkie warned.
"I know, they're still hot," Fluttershy said as she picked it up.
"Yeah, but that's not—"
Fluttershy took a bite.
Her pupils expanded to fill her eyes. "Ohhhhhhmygoodness," she said in a wavering voice.
"Oh boy," Pinkie said softly, taking a careful, deliberate step away from Fluttershy.
Fluttershy suddenly started vibrating. She grabbed Applejack by both hands in a strong, shaking grip that made the farmer wince. "You know what I wanna do?" Fluttershy asked giddily. "I wanna go upstairs and grab your brother and YAY! and you know what else? You should totally go up there with me and we can all YAY! and oh! Oh! Oh! You know what'd be fun? You, me, and your brother could all go out to the barn and YAY! in the HAY! What do you say? Wanna YAY! in the HAY!?"
"Uhh..." Applejack wrestled herself free of Fluttershy's grip and backed away from her. "Pinkie Pie? Whut'n th' hell's IN them cookies?"
"Yyyyyeah..." Pinkie said slowly, watching Fluttershy vibrate in place and giggle to herself. "So here's the thing. You've heard of Party Dip, right?"
Applejack frowned, her brow furrowing. "Ah think so," she said. "Ain't it that stuff they took off th' market like, back before we were born?"
Pinkie nodded. "Yeah. It was basically concentrated sugar, and it did, well...this." She gestured vaguely at Fluttershy. "Well, my sister and I were perfecting our rock candy recipe a while ago when we accidentally created a brand new form of concentrated sugar, twice as potent as Party Dip." She idly loosened the cookies from the baking sheet and slid them into a paper bag. "What happened next is a really long story but basically we found out about this whole black market for homemade Party Dip, then I got the stupid idea to sell some, then we had these Dipheads coming after us for the recipe, and then we met Oatmeal Raisin, who runs this secret black market cookie ring for Dipheads, selling sugar cookies made from Party Dip. She tried to get the Blue Dip recipe from me and Maud, but Maud, well..." Pinkie shook her head. "Anyway, after that she tried to make a deal with me to bake Blue Dip cookies for her for a really really lot of money, but I said no because I didn't wanna get involved."
Applejack stared at her. "You're...you're kiddin', right?"
Pinkie pointed at Fluttershy. "Does that look like I'm kidding?"
Fluttershy had taken the mustard and ketchup out of the fridge and was busy squirting thick rivers of condiments into her hair. "Look at me! I'm Sunset Shimmer! Whee!"
Applejack facepalmed.
* * * * *
The night before the Bake Sale arrived swiftly. Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy arrived separately at Las Galletas Hermanas; Big Macintosh dropped Applejack off, Fluttershy arrived in her van, and Pinkie Pie drove her powder blue party scooter. Ever since coming down from her Blue Dip high, Fluttershy had been moody, lethargic, and embarrassed, and was only just beginning to return to normal.
Oatmeal Raisin met the girls at the doors. Pinkie passed her a large brown paper bag; Oatmeal Raisin gave her a brief, placid nod. "You will be done by opening time?"
"We'll be out of here by nine in the morning," Pinkie promised.
Oatmeal Raisin frowned, but nodded. "I can afford to open late for one weekend." She unlocked the doors, then headed to her car and drove off.
Once she was gone, Pinkie turned to the other girls, a serious expression on her face.
"Let's bake."
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I have genuine criticism here and I am restraining myself from saying something more aggressive. So, here it is:
Please never write any dialogue like this. I know you're going for Applejack's accent, but you know what is much more pleasant to read? Regular dialogue and focus on keeping the diction to words Applejack would regularly use rather than butchering the English language. This is just unpleasant to read, and, even if all dialogue was suppose to be written exactly how it sounded, then I say this is still too far because Applejacl doesn't slur or mispronounce ever third word she says.
Hell, literary fiction rarely makes use of anything like this and it is heavily frowned upon-most of the time, if a character has an accent, you just say they have an accent and be done with it.
Did...did Pinkie just drug Fluttershy?
Yep, definitely drugged her. Also, I think Kinkyshy is coming out here. That's a lot of yay she's wanting to have with Applejack and her brother...screw it, I'm assuming together.
So, Pinkie accidentally created a drug. I don't care if it's concentrated sugar, anything that affects someone like this is a drug. And Pinkie...
Sweet fuck what happened when Maud and Pinkie first tried it out? Did the house explode? No offense to this story, but I want to see the result of Pinkie high on this sugar. That must have been equally...no wait, just horrifying.
I remember what Party Dip did to Flash in Persona EG, and Pinkie and Maud actually discovered something twice as strong as that? That's a little scary actually. Never thought I'd see Fluttershy high, or on a sugar rush however that works. Loved her Sunset impression though.
7733982
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I never watch Breaking Bad, but I get the reference.
There's the problem with this naming convention; every conversation is an Abbot and Costello gag waiting to happen.
... Yeah, I can definitely buy Pinkie getting embroiled in the recreational biochemical black market. I do hope she's never sampled it since gaining magic. I'm pretty sure that's how you get chaos gods.
7733982
I know this is comedy but...Pinkie, Element of Laughter, willingly involving herself into the drug black market? !
To say nothing about Maud 's reaction when she finds out, specially since she was the one who helped creating the recipe.
Why? Why can I not like this blasted story more than once? This chapter alone has made my day!
So i assume there was no yay in the hay that night lol
Ummm...onward, Aoshima?
7734137 Not a drug, candy, therefore the cops got nothing on her (shhhh)
7734042
....I thought the Pinkies where already demi-gods of chaos?
Those are Heat Cookies!!!
I'm not surprised that Pinkie would come up with something like that, and not that surprising that she would know about that kind of underground stuff. Am I reading it right in that she's going to sell those cookies at the bake sale?! Or did I misunderstand something? Not sure the Principals would let her get away with that. Unless they try a bite and are out of it until its too late and everything has been sold. I hope Pinkie isn't that irresponsible, look at what one cookie did to Fluttershy. Her Sunset impression was hilarious (it was either that or pull bacon out of the fridge).
7735253 You misread. She's trading the cookies in exchange for use of Oatmeal Raisin's kitchen.
Ah, sorry, my mistake, that would probably be too crazy, even for Pinkie. Though it would make for a memorable bake sale.
Another enjoyable chapter. Good job.
Valid point.
This worries me.
Smart.
Pinkie, what the hell did you put in those cookies?
I'd love to know that too.
I, think I see...
7734195
Yeah, thought Party Dip was a Smile Dip expy too.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LgwMZ3J7y3I
7734017 Nah, she just phased slightly out of existence for a while. You could still see her, but she was pretty much intangible. Kinda like how the Flash can phase through stuff by vibrating.
Fluttershy had the greatest sugar high in history
... I'm not sure if I'm jealous or not 
EG always confused with me a bit with the places. Does this mean there's a Manehatten and a Las Pegasus or a Manhatten and a Las Vegas in there world? It's just kind of confusing, personally.
7763034 Varies from author to author, as we really don't have firm evidence in canon either way.
7804842
Because Fluttershy is so incredibly shy, to the point that it's had to imagine her being into sex at ALL, making her be kinky is ridiculous. It's a perfect example of comedic irony.
Baking Bad. Oy vey...
*Looks at Title*
Well played. Well played with the Baking Bad reference
Did...did Pinkie just make meth?
Pinkie just made meth!
Agreed.
So that's what pinkie's idea was. Nice
Wow, that explains the side effect fluttershy just had! 😨
I have a bad feeling that this'll get them eliminated.
Best not to eat any of those cookies anytime soon fluttershy, just to be safe.