After school, Flash and his bandmates headed for Flash's house. "You know grillin's gonna cost a lot of money if we hafta get meat for four rounds of this thing, right?" Skunk Rock asked.
Flash grimaced. "Yeah, but it's for a good cause. Besides, if we get our folks to pool together, we can manage." He pulled over to the curb in front of his house. "We'll get the recipe, then we'll head to the store and look over the meats, kinda get an idea of what we wanna work with and make a budget."
"So this sauce recipe," Beats said as the trio got out of the car. "It's legit?"
"He's won every cook-off he's ever entered," Flash said proudly. "Grandpa's sauce is the best thing you ever put in your mouth." Walking through the house, he found his father in the den. "Hey Dad, do you know where Grandpa keeps his sauce recipe?"
Flash's dad looked up in alarm from his baseball game. "The...the sauce recipe?" He swallowed nervously. "S-son, you...you know better than that, right?" He looked around warily. "I mean, the only thing more important to Dad than that sauce is his balls..."
"I know, Dad, but I kinda need it," Flash said. "We're having this cook-off at CHS, it's this charity fundraiser thing for the Everfree trip. We're gonna enter, but none of us can really cook, so..." He shrugged. "We're gonna see how far we can get grilling. But if we're gonna win against some of the talent CHS has, we're gonna need the sauce."
Flash's dad frowned. "Well..." He sighed. "You absolutely sure about this?"
"Y-yeah," Flash said. "I know what I'm getting into." Behind him, Beats and Skunk exchanged a confused glance and shrugged.
"Okay," Flash's dad said. "Okay. It's in that old trunk in the shed. The key's in the tool chest." He paused. "Be careful, Flash. Dad hasn't had his medicine today."
Flash gulped audibly. "I'll be careful, Dad." He turned to his bandmates and nodded, leading them through the house and out to the back yard.
"Dude...what was all that?" Beats asked.
"Grandpa's..." Flash shook his head. "Nevermind. We'll be in and out. Get the recipe, get back to the car, copy it down, I'll put it back tonight. He'll never know. Come on." He led them into a beat-up old shed in the back yard. Flipping on the overhead track lighting, he rummaged through a shiny steel tool chest until he found an old brass key, which he used to unlock a leather-bound trunk resting in the back corner. "Come on, come on..." He rummaged through piles of yellowed old papers in the trunk, flicking aside old photographs and what looked like birth certificates, death certificates, and other important documents. Finally, he found a small, yellowed, crinkly piece of parchment. "Here it is!" he cried excitedly, standing up. He slammed the lid of the trunk, dropped the key back in the tool chest, and bustled out of the shed. "Let's go! Hurry!"
Shrugging, his bandmates followed. They were halfway to the side gate leading out to the driveway when a very tall, very old man suddenly blocked their path.
Dressed in a mortician's suit at least a century and a half out of date, the man had unhealthy-looking, wrinkled yellow skin, deep creases around his mouth, a hooked nose, and thick eyebrows. Balding on top, his grey hair was full in the back and on the sides, framing his broad, intimidating face in an iron curtain. His right eye was squinted closed; combined with the creases in his face and the downturned sneer of his wide lips, this gave him a fiercely angry expression. In his left hand, he held a cane topped with a gleaming silver ball.
His one good eye glared at Flash. His lips opened, revealing yellowed, uneven teeth.
"Boooooyyyy...!!"
"Shit," Flash spat, eyes wide with terror. "Guys, run! This way!" He broke left, crossing the yard; his friends looked at each other helplessly, looking back at the old man who, by all appearances, was content to just stand in front of the gate looking terrifying. "COME ON!" Flash urged.
The old man took one step toward them.
They ran.
Flash climbed over the fence; Skunk and Beats followed him. They ran for Flash's car.
"Dude, what the hell?" Skunk demanded.
"Was that your grandpa?" Beats asked.
"Yeah," Flash said as he unlocked the car, sliding across the hood and skidding on the asphalt before yanking open the driver's side door and jumping in. "Hurry, get in!"
"Dude, it's okay, he's still in the yard," Beats said as he casually opened the door and got in, Skunk following suit.
Flash looked warily into the rear view mirror, then stuck his head out and looked behind the car. "Can't be too sure," he said as he started the engine and went for his seat belt. Sighing with relief, he turned to adjust his mirrors...
The old man was standing right in the middle of the street, four feet in front of the car, glaring evilly at Flash. "WAH!" Skunk yelled. "Dude, what the—?"
"Buckle up and hold on," Flash said, throwing the car into reverse and slamming the gas. The car shot backward; Flash jerked the wheel around hard, throwing the car into a tight circle that nearly took out a neighbor's mailbox. He braked, jarring his passengers, then shifted into neutral. "Okay," he said. "Should be—"
The old man was in front of them again, looking for all the world as though he had never moved.
"Okay no way," Beats said. "He should be behind us, not—"
"It's gonna get rough for a minute, guys," Flash said as he threw the car into gear and jerked the wheel hard to the left as he hit the gas, shooting past the old man, who stood passively on the curb, watching them peel away with squealing tires. At the end of the street, Flash stopped suddenly, taking a deep, panicking breath.
"Dude," Skunk said, "why are you this scared of your grandad?"
"You just have no idea, man," Flash said. "We should be good now. Let's just—"
"BOOOOYYY!!"
The old man was right next to the car, looking right in the driver's side window.
"Shit," Flash muttered.
"OKAY HOW THE HELL?!" Beats yelled.
Flash put the car in reverse and floored it for five seconds, putting some distance between them and the old man, then put it back in neutral, unbuckled his seat belt, and reached underneath his seat. He pulled out a short-barreled shotgun, into which he slotted two shells.
His friends stared at him. "Dude," Beats said, "what the actual fuck?!"
"Just trust me," Flash said as he levered his body halfway out the window and aimed.
"Dude you are NOT gonna SHOOT YOUR GRANDPA WITH A SHOTGUN!" Skunk cried in alarm.
And then Flash did exactly that.
With a thunderous boom, Flash's shot exploded from the barrel, slamming into the old man. He staggered back, stunned, then took two steps to his left, his cane shaking in his grasp. With his free hand, he clutched his chest. Flash dropped back into his seat, tossed the shotgun in the back where it nearly hit Beats in the face, and floored it, taking the corner without bothering to check for oncoming traffic. Luckily, the cross street was clear, and Flash put three blocks between them before stopping and pulling over to the curb.
His friends' hearts were hammering so hard he could practically hear it. Beats reached forward and grabbed Flash by the jacket, jerking him back against his seat. "WHAT. THE. HELL. MAN?!"
Flash wrenched himself free of his drummer's grip. "It's just rock salt," he said. "Medicated rock salt." He grimaced as he checked his mirrors and buckled his seat belt.
"Medicated rock salt?" Skunk asked.
"Grandpa won't take pills or liquids," Flash explained. "And nobody's brave enough to try to give him injections. The only way we can give him his medicine is by tranquilizer darts or with a shotgun." He grimaced. "If he's having one of his spells, you're better off with the shotgun. The darts don't have any stopping power."
Skunk shook his head, scrubbing his hands down his face. "Dude," he tried to explain slowly, "you just shot. Your grandfather. With a sawed off shotgun. That...that doesn't seem wrong to you? At all?"
"You haven't lived with him for most of your life," Flash said. "You get used to it."
"Uhh..." Skunk started, then trailed off. "Damn."
Beats wasn't quite ready to let it go yet. "Okay, the old guy's kinda creepy and I still don't know how he could move that fast, but you didn't have to shoot him with a goddamn shotgun! What if you'd killed him?!"
Flash's mouth set into a hard line. "Nothing kills him," he said grimly as he put the car in gear again and drove back into town at a more sedate pace.
So...forgive me for making this comparison but...is Flash's grandfather Slenderman? Or does that only make sense to me because it's 2 am?
Will we see Spike in a cute chef's hat?
I have a bad feeling about this.
How the hell?
I would love to know that myself.
What the FUCK?!
I, see. No wait, I don't. Elaborate.
Your grandpa SCARES me.
7720765 No, he's not Slenderman. There are clues to who he is in the chapter. (He's the Tall Man from Phantasm.)
7720890 Good question...
ROFLMAO
I know nothing about Phantasm. *checks on Wikipedia* The Tall Man, portrayed by Angus Scrimm. Oh very clever.
This chapter alone justifies the price.
7721111 I had way too much fun with this part. Also, it's not the last we'll see of Angus Sentry.
7721122 You can be a horrible cook without killing people with your cooking. There are varying degrees of horrible. Look up "Kitchen Nightmares Fiesta Sunrise", "Kitchen Nightmares Amy's Baking Company", and "Kitchen Nightmares Joe Nagy".
Flash's grandpa is a nut! After all that for just one sauce recipe I hope he at least makes it to the semifinals. I like this story so far and can't wait for more!
Well, this promises to be quite entertaining. Though Angus Sentry is most unsettling. It can't be easy to have a movie monster for a grandfather. Certainly to have one as a father. I can only imagine what Flash's dad's childhood was like...
I can't help but feel that Flash's grandpa and Pinkie are somehow related
Okay, I was not expecting Flash Sentry to have a "retired" horror movie slasher as his grandpa. By all appaearances, this guy trained with Jason in the art of walking but flashstepping when no one's looking, and he seems just as bloody durable.
Okay, if this is the level of insanity that is going to be at the cookout, then this story is going to be amazing. Hell, I'm going to like and favorite for Flash's monstrous grandfather.
7720802 good to know
Ok, my respect for this version of Flash just went way up. Not that I disliked him before, but damn, if he grew up with that for a grandfather, he's got to be tough. No wonder he could put up with Queen Bitch Sunset, she's nothing compared to that grandfather. Though I wonder why Flash couldn't just have taken a cellphone picture of the recipe than ran for it? Unless you're not supposed to take any photographs of the secret sauce recipe, or else?
Just hope the recipe was worth it, and it really is as good as Flash thinks. Hope it doesn't turn out that his grandfather always won all those contests because the judges were too terrified of him.
BOOOOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYY!!!!
They DO know that veggies can be pretty tasty too if grilled and salted properly, right? I mean, I get the "testosterone filled american high school boys" angle they are coming from, but, c'mon, 4 rounds of meat? Seriously? Some campfire bread cooked on a stick would be better, too! Unless they are using an electric grill, in which case good luck getting THAT...
Okay, seriously, as an Italian I have had my fair share of grilled meat too, even if that kind of cooking seems to be more culturally embedd in american culture, as far from what I've seen from telefilms and the likes, but is really acceptable such a huge dose of meat as a single meal in american food culture? I'm getting genuinely curious.
If this is the same smartphone era high schoolers we saw in the movies...
... Why didn't they just snap a picture of the recipe?
7721977 Dude. This is just a story. You shouldn't overthink it or drag your OH BUT MAH HEALTH! garbage into the comments section where it doesn't belong.
Also, try doing actual research on a cookout/family BBQ sometime. Also, try thinking about WHAT they're doing and WHY they're doing it. Also, try looking up how cooking contests work.
(While you're at it, how about complaining about how the bake sale is all breads and pastries and carbs and fat and doesn't have enough salad and vegetables?)
7722174
7721775 Ever try taking a picture of an old piece of parchment/paper? It usually doesn't come out very clear.
7722215 ...whoa, uh, okay... I'm sorry if I sounded judgemntal or "health nut" in my comment, I assure that wasn't my intention.
I know this is just a story, I knew I was maybe taking it a bit too seriously while writing that comment, but being cooking something I feel quite passionated about I decided to post it anyway. I'll admit I didn't even think to research about BBQ culture (or cooking competitions) on my own before publishing said comment, and that was because of my own laziness, I just though it would have been interesting and easier to hear about it directly from you. That wasn't very respectful of me.
About that last part... I know veggies are not supposed to be a common ingredient in sweet baking, nor healthy eating a major concern, because that's just not the point of that kind of cooking. I thought to ask about the whole meat "concern" because one of your characters themselves seems to bring it up when he asks Flash if they were really going to make a full course of meat, and mentions that it was going to be pricey. I assumed he said so out of similar concerns I might have had, and not for a purely monetary matter.
Once again, I'm sorry if I sounded pretentious, I just didn't think this would have been such a sensitive topic.
7722311 The only reason he brought it up is because that much meat IS kinda expensive and they're HIGH SCHOOLERS.
And I overreacted because I'm in a shit mood in general, so my bad too. When people go "why not try a vegetable instead?" it irritates me because I've had negative experiences with militant vegetarians/vegans and that kind of retort automatically puts me on the defensive. That plus bad day/shit mood equals temper storm.
(And there are plenty of vegetables, breads, etc. at a typical American cookout/BBQ. That's not even the point here, though. Flash and his friends are grilling meat because they're lazy, they're dudes, and that's the best they could come up with. :P)
Well...
That escalated quickly.
Granpa is gonna crash the contest, isn't he?
Let's hope the Magic of Friendship will be enough to stop him... for a while.
Okay, I wasn't planning on following this fic, but this chapter has convinced me to at least think about it.
Well...I wasn't expecting a story about a bake sale to turn into Flash shooting his grandfather with a shotgun.
Instant fave.
You always write the best Flash Sentries Moth.
7724705 I agree, it's practically one of his signatures by now.
7724842 I hope when he gets back to Persona he references Flash's crazy grandfather.
7724969 As hilarious as that would be I kind of doubt that would happen. He already has enough of a dysfunctional family in Persona EG, between current troubles with Twilight, a lifetime of neglect from his parents, and from the latest chapter bad news involving his uncle, I don't think he has anymore room for a horror movie grandpa.
7724993 Yeah, the Persona EG cast are really not the same characters at all as in canon (or more importantly, as in MM's stories that are based directly on canon).
I wouldn't be shocked to see it referenced in another story (although I certainly can't speak for what MM has planned), but probably not Persona EG.
7721977 As far as American culture goes, meals can be pretty meat-heavy, but I don't know any adults who would serve a meal that's 100% meat and nothing else to another person (barring some special occasion).
Lazy teenagers and/or bachelors, though? The sky's the limit.
Have a feeling that Angus will be showing up to scare the boys until he ends up as one of the judges, and gives begrudging respect to Flash for the contest.
7727367 Mmm, something like that.
I thought that was Old Man Henderson. But no. Cool Flash, though.
ok, now I´m actually thankful that Flash is actually normal considering how he grew up.
7722220
Also, any photographs of Grandpa's writing turn into pictures of screaming faces in 24 hours.
(You know, I am now wondering: is the reason for his long run of victories actually the sauce, or simply that nobody dared to tell him he had lost? )
Congrats, Moth. This chapter earned the like and the fav due to making me LOL at work Thankfully I've got my own office so awkward stares were avoided
...*Sees the Spoiler*
...Blinks.
My...teacher may be mad at me, now.
7844060
That just means we've got 24 hours to copy it to a notebook.
Flash's grandad reminds me of the Granny from that horror moblie game
Sounds like this fellow's quite a Phantasm
I have so many questions right now on how he's doing that!?!?!? 😨
Why the hell does he have that in his car!?!?!?
Wow, I did not see that coming.
Something will eventually.