• Published 14th Nov 2016
  • 2,796 Views, 360 Comments

Canterlot Cooking Calamity! - MythrilMoth



CHS holds a fundraiser bake sale and cooking contest.

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Cleaning Up!

The prize ceremony didn't take very long, and was met with polite applause from an audience who was growing restless.

"Okay everyone, I have one last announcement," Celestia said as soon as the last prizes had been awarded. Once everyone quieted down, she looked around at the assembled students, parents, and guests. "The official Camp Everfree iron-on patches just came in Friday, so everyone who's going on the trip needs to buy up to three shirts suitable for outdoor activities that are safe for ironing. You'll be given three patches each."

A confused murmur rose from the assembled students. Rarity raised a hand. "Forgive me, Principal Celestia, but...why iron-on patches?"

"An excellent question, Rarity," Celestia said. "Camp Everfree emphasizes student self-expression and promotes individuality and creativity. As such, you're encouraged to dress however you feel while at camp, provided you dress in a manner suitable for outdoor activity, and the camp logo is supplied as an iron-on for the shirts you'll make all your wonderful Camp Everfree memories in."

"Sounds to me like this camp is too cheap to buy T-shirts for the campers," Sunset whispered to Twilight. Twilight giggled.

"I recommend T-shirts or polo shirts," Celestia went on. "Sleeveless tees are fine, mesh shirts are not. Use your best judgment. If you don't have an iron at home, I'm sure you can find a friend who can take care of it for you." She clapped her hands together. "Okay! First week of summer break, we're set for our trip to Camp Everfree!"

A cheer went up from the juniors.

"Now, I'll have other announcements to make tomorrow, but right now, I think we're all tired and would like to get out of here," Celestia said with a smile. "Thank you all for coming, and thank you and congratulations once again to our winners and all our wonderful contestants! Goodnight, everyone!"

As the crowd began to file out of the gym, Sunset, Twilight, Rarity, their friends, and Twilight's parents gathered around their cook station, where maintenance was waiting to dismantle everything. "We'll help y'all haul all this stuff outta here," Applejack said.

"And I know you girls are probably hungry, so dinner's on us," Velvet said. "And any of your friends who want to come along are welcome."

"I'd come, but I'm kinda stuffed," Rainbow Dash said, patting her stomach with a grin. "I gotta get in a good run when I get home. Congrats, guys! Later!" With a wave, she headed for the gym exit.

"Ah think we'd best bow out too," Applejack said. "Me an' Apple Bloom gotta git home fer Sunday supper. We'll help y'all carry stuff out t' th' car though."

Once the remaining ingredients and the supplies they'd brought with them had been loaded into Rarity's car, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, and Pinkie Pie got in with her, while Sunset went to her bike and Twilight rode with her family. They settled on a decent burger place not too far from the school, where a good time was had by all. By the time they were finished, the girls were all fairly tired from their long day, so they parted ways, Sunset heading off to her apartment with a promise to drop Scootaloo off on the way, Rarity and her sister headed home, and Twilight's family making the long drive across town.

"You did good out there today, little sis," Shining Armor said.

Next to him, Twilight snored softly, chin tucked into her chest and glasses askew. Shining Armor chuckled and shook his head.

* * * * *

Fluttershy's attention turned from her ice cream to her phone. "Oh, Twilight and the girls won," she said with a smile. "That's nice. I'll have to congratulate them tomorrow."

"Why not text them now?" her mother asked from across the table.

Fluttershy shrugged. "They're probably pretty tired," she said. "Besides, I...I don't think I want to talk about this weekend just yet. I...I'd rather put it off until tomorrow. At..." She cringed. "At school."

"Now, dear," Mrs. Shy said with a reassuring smile. "I'm sure by now nobody even remembers what happened yesterday, what with all the excitement."

"I'm sure Big Macintosh does," Fluttershy said, blushing. "I don't really remember much, but I do remember being all over him." She ducked her head. "Oh, I'm so embarrassed..."

"There, there," Mrs. Shy said. "It's not the end of the world." She giggled. "Everybody has one of those days. The important thing is you're feeling better now, right?"

"Well, yes," Fluttershy said. "And I do have the Camp Everfree trip to look forward to with all my friends...after school lets out..."

"That's the spirit!" Mrs. Shy said. "Would you like another bowl of ice cream?"

"Oh...yes, please..."

* * * * *

Five hundred dollars. So much she could do with that. A new TV, a new tablet, maybe that new gaming system she had her eye on. Sunset's mind whirled with happy possibilities as she drove her motorcycle through the quiet streets, whistling merrily to herself as the wind whipped in her hair.

Once she got home, however...

Sunset stared, nonplussed, at the ventilated plastic box which sat next to her apartment door.

Stenciled on the side were the words "LIVE CRABS."

Her left eye twitched.

* * * * *

When Flash got home, he found his dad in the den watching TV. "Hey, uh, Dad?"

"Yeah?" his dad asked.

"Umm...so Grandpa kinda showed up at school today, during the cooking contest..."

Flash's dad turned and looked up at him, mild alarm on his face. "He did? What did—"

"Dad, something...really weird happened," Flash said nervously, wringing his hands. "Grandpa, he...he told me I'm the keeper of the sauce recipe now. Then he, well..." He shook his head. "He just...disappeared."

Flash's dad's eyes widened. "You mean he's gone?"

"Y-yeah," Flash said. "And when I say disappeared, I mean—"

"He finally crossed over," Flash's dad said with a sigh of relief. "Dad finally crossed over. I was starting to think he'd never go away."

Flash blinked. "You...you knew?"

"That my own father died twenty years ago? Of course," Flash's dad snorted. "I was there. Thing is, he's been haunting me since before you were born." He sighed. "That sauce recipe...he loved it more than he ever loved me. That's why he's been hanging around since he died. He was waiting."

"Waiting?" Flash asked. He gasped in realization. "Waiting for somebody to come along that he could trust with the sauce..."

"And it looks like that finally happened," Flash's dad said. He chuckled. "Well, at least we can stop pretending holy water and purified salt are 'medicine'."

Flash frowned. "That...does explain a lot of things. I mean...a LOT of things." He shook his head. "Why didn't you ever tell me, though?"

Flash's dad gave him a look. "Would you have believed me?"

Flash laughed sheepishly. "I see your point..."

* * * * *

Sugar Sprinkles sat atop her delivery van, which was also her home, and looked out over the river. The setting sun scattered shimmering orange sparkles on the water, making it look like a river of fiery gems. She took a deep drag off the joint she held, laid it aside, then tuned and strummed her guitar, singing to herself.

Another day, a job well done
And now I watch the setting sun
No crabby guys can harsh my buzz!

She paused, scratching an itch on her left leg. Her brow furrowed.

And I need a shave, I'm covered in fuzz!

Laughing to herself, she set aside her guitar, puffed on her joint again, and lay back on the roof, folding her arms behind her head.

* * * * *

Negra Arroyo knocked softly on the second door on the right in the hall of his suburban bungalow. After waiting several seconds, he opened the door and entered, flicking the light switch on the wall as he did so.

The room was small, tastefully decorated, and dimly lit. A twelve-year-old girl with light pink skin and long cherry red hair was propped up in bed, focusing intently on her tablet, earbuds in her ears.

He walked further into the room until he was standing next to her bed. "Felina," he called out.

Felina looked up and smiled, her dark eyes dancing. "Did you win?"

"I did alright," Negra Arroyo said. "I've got a present for you."

"Really?"

Negra walked back out into the hall, then returned with a boxed television. Felina's eyes lit up happily and she let out a soft squeal. "Just like I promised," Negra said.

"Thank you so much!" Felina said. "You're the bestest big brother ever."

Negra leaned over the bed and mussed her hair. "Want me to set it up for you?"

"Please!" Felina said, nodding happily.

"Alright." After moving the folded wheelchair by the dresser around so he could work, Negra began unboxing the TV. It took almost twenty minutes, but he cleared a space for the TV, set it up, and programmed it. "I'll have to get a guy out to set up the cable sometime this week," he said. "For now, at least you can watch Streamflix in here."

"This is the bestest present ever," Felina said.

Negra smiled. "Well, it's just a little something." He handed her the remote. "Now, don't watch too late, alright? You need your rest, like the doctor said."

"Okay!" Felina said. "You wanna watch something with me?"

"I don't know, I'm pretty tired," Negra said. He looked at Felina's mildly crestfallen expression, then shook his head. "Alright. For a little while." He sat down on the floor next to the bed. "What're we gonna watch?"

As dusk faded into night, brother and sister watched one show after another, heedless of the soft beeping of various medical devices arranged around Felina's bed.

Author's Note:

I wonder how many readers will be able to catch every Breaking Bad reference throughout this story. :trollestia: (Or any of the other references.)

This was a hell of a lot of fun to write, and I hope you all enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Don't forget, if you'd like to commission a story like this, you can do so through Patreon!

Thanks for reading!

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Comments ( 27 )

Well. That segment with Negra at the end there... right in the feels. :fluttershysad:

I'm afraid the Breaking Bad references all went over my head, however many there were of them.

Still, incredibly fun story. A great blend of humor, food porn, and outright insanity. (Seriously, how early in the process did you plan on that "Rarity fighting a giant crab" reference?) Thank you for it.

7898969 I have to confess the Rarity vs crab thing came up in the planning stages for the final round, as up until I started writing it, Negra Arroyo's menu in my story notes was literally this:

?

Then I decided to go back to the crab well again, and I think it paid off. I hope it paid off. Can't go wrong with crabs. Crabs are funny. :scootangel:

"The official Camp Everfree iron-on patches just came in Friday, so everyone who's going on the trip needs to buy up to three shirts suitable for outdoor activities that are safe for ironing. You'll be given three patches each."

Nice Call Forward.

"Sounds to me like this camp is too cheap to buy T-shirts for the campers," Sunset whispered to Twilight. Twilight giggled.

Or they don't have enough cash.

Next to him, Twilight snored softly, chin tucked into her chest and glasses askew. Shining Armor chuckled and shook his head.

Adorable.

Sunset stared, nonplussed, at the ventilated plastic box which sat next to her apartment door.
Stenciled on the side were the words "LIVE CRABS."

Moth, you magnificent bastard.

"And it looks like that finally happened," Flash's dad said. He chuckled. "Well, at least we can stop pretending holy water and purified salt are 'medicine'."

I'm surprised they worked in the first place. Then again, the rules ghosts operate on vastly differ from ghost to ghost and universe to universe.

Negra smiled. "Well, it's just a little something." He handed her the remote. "Now, don't watch too late, alright? You need your rest, like the doctor said."

You're a good man, Negra Arroyo.

Sugar Sprinkles sat atop her delivery van, which was also her home, and looked out over the river.

Next to a motivational speaker eating government cheese.

Well, I definitely caught the crab references. And you're right, they are funny. Except when they peench.

Five hundred dollars. So much she could do with that. A new TV, a new tablet, maybe that new gaming system she had her eye on. system she had her eye on.

Girrlll you get that Switch!!!

This was fun to read. I forgot it's before LoE but you did a good job tying it in. The ending though saddened me. :fluttercry:

CSC

Wow, I used to think Negra Arroyo was just an arrogant burro, but now...I'm interested in his character and background after reading the end. It would be nice to read more about him.

7899044 Oh yes. In fact, they've nearly been harvested to extinction in some areas. Coconut crabs are a delicacy in many places.

Damn...talk about pulling a switch on us with Negra.

So if anyone cares, this is the original prompt I sent to MythrilMoth:

Canterlot High is scheduled to enter a regional culinary showcase, and Principal Celestia asks for student volunteers. Things get out of hand very quickly. Possible hijinks (feel free to regard these as suggestions rather than requirements) include:
- Pinkie Pie may be the best cook of the bunch, but she's also uniquely unqualified to actually organize a group effort.
- Crystal Prep is also entering, and after the inconclusive Friendship Games, some students in both schools *really* want to outdo their rivals.
- Sunset Shimmer has never actually gotten the hang of human cooking, and attempts to improvise recipes she remembers from Equestria.
- Flash Sentry is really desperate to redeem himself after his embarrassing failure in the Friendship Games.
- Someone at the showcase refuses to discuss his/her dish's "secret ingredient," but it's obviously a Turducken.
- Twilight Sparkle has far too much faith in her own knowledge of molecular gastronomy.
- Whether this all turns out unexpectedly well or ends in disaster is up to you.

A lot of my suggestions didn't make it into the finished product, but I'm more than satisfied. (The Shadowbolts would have been fun, but there's a lot going on here already.)

Well nice epilogue. Though making Negra a jerk throughout all the story just to show in the end is a kind caring brother taking care of his hospitalised sister. Although maybe not kind if he's behind that shipping of live crabs to Sunset. :rainbowlaugh:

Something tell me this is one of the Breaking Bad reference. As I said before I never watch the series but I'm aware of the main basis of the plot.

Also nice premise insertion for Legend of Everfree.

That was a fun story. That ending though was a surprise, Negra might be a jerk but he has someone he cares about.

7899211 And the Shadowbolts are going into the next commission anyway as central characters. :raritywink::scootangel:

7898969

I can only concur with the estemeeded gentlepony.

Good job.


(Though much of the food stuff went rather over my head, since I am of the extreme peasant variety for whom not only "cooking" equates to "cans and a microwave," but actively prefers such fare to what other people would consider proper food. In my, case, "proper food" applies generally only to stuuf that's already been dead six weeks or something...)

You think your little 'he's trying to help his sister' thing will make me feel bad for Negra? ...okay maybe a little. He was still a rude prick though. It's like he doesn't even know the girls. Yet he goes to the same school. He should totally know he could have told them about felina and they'd have practically thrown the money at him. Or surprised him by buying the tv for her.


Still a prick though. :trixieshiftright:

7899717 Which is funny, because (again) it's not what I was expecting when I wrote the prompt. And yet it's awesome.

7900020 Yeah, commission work is funny that way. Sometimes the prompt and the finished product look almost nothing alike, and yet the story somehow turns out better than expected anyway. I'm honestly pretty pleased with how this one turned out. It was a lot of fun to write.

A nice story. Well done.

This was another great MythrilMoth creation. I loved the callbacks to “Sunset Shimmer Has Crabs,” and it seems you’ve done some serious research on cooking, baking and competitions of the sort.

So, Ditzy is a pothead in this story. That – actually makes sense. Well played, Mythril. Well played. Also, extra lulz for Cheerilee trying to buy the rest of Sandalwood’s creations.

Applejack now has unpleasant images in her brain of how two of her friends were conceived. She’s lucky her parents aren’t around to tell her how she, Mac or AB came to be, or else she’d have drunk all the brain bleach.

BULL BALLS! HE SERVED THEM BULL BALLS! I didn’t even have to look up the “secret ingredient” to know what it was. To be fair, Andrew Zimmern eats those things all the time on his show, and he’s healthier than I am.

EDIT: I looked down the comments, and I found out it wasn't the balls he served, but close. I still stand by my Zimmern statement.

The outcome of the contest proved one thing – make something familiar and spectacular rather than make something exotic and off.

The sentimental twist at the end was kind of cool. Although it was a real left turn from the overall tone of the piece, it was all right.

One thing I thought was a bit unbelievable was two perfect scores from the judges for Sunny, Twily and Rares. It was a teensy bit Mary Sue-ish, but it's okay.

Overall, an A-grade story.

7912873 Glad you enjoyed it. :twilightsmile:

Negra Arroyo...Is how you do a good OC. He has a hook, he's not a mary sue, and there's enough to him that you can actually feel like he's a unique character. Plus, he gives a bit of extra that someone like Trixie wouldn't give.

I mean, Trixie is fun...but Negra adds that extra little bit of "Let's get this guy." Saffron was also good, since she has a nice motive.

An excellent story! Although I did think the ending of the Barbecue Sauce Saga was a bit too simple and neat for something involving a Tall Man Expy.

"So...it was all a dream?"
"Well, not entirely, son. You did enter the Canterlot cooking contest with your grandfather's cooking recipe, but he hasn't been hanging around as a ghost for twenty years. He died at the Tri-State Annual Cookoffs in a tragic barbecue starter fluid accident when you were only six."
(Flash's father momentary looks down at his hands and mutters: "that lunatic from from MIT and his rocket fuel...")
"Anyway, the incident probably traumatized you a bit. Don't you remember?"
"Yeah, I think. Wow. It's weird how dreams and reality can get mixed up in your head sometimes."
(Doorbell noise)
"Huh. Could you see who that is, son?"
"Sure, dad."
(Flash, munching on some toast, walks to the door and opens it).
Hello, Boy.

Well it seems he had a reason for acting the way he did. :-/

Great story. Now for my final thoughts and judgement!!!

PREPARATION:
When coming into this I thought it would be just a simple eqg story with the HuMane 6 just cooking

PRESENTATION:
You had each chapter look at each separate characters as they prepared for the competition but not all contestants or it would become too crowded. The competition itself had an air of tension like in Friendship Games on a lesser level. Humour help keep me invested too.

CREATIVITY:
While some parts in this story banked on references to pop culture. It had some original ideas.

Snips and Snails naming of the dish was original and hilarious

I like the realism of Saffron using expired food by mistake instead of actual sabotage.

And that bull cock secret ingredient

The chapter title puns were a nice touch too.

TASTE:
The food presented in this story made me really hungry. In fact, halfway in reading I had to stop and eat just to satisfy my hunger. If this isn't a great cooking story than I don't know what is.

9298346
Glad you enjoyed it. :)

Nothing like a great fic to whet one's appetite.

Most excellent.

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