Half-Baked Bake Sale!
As dawn approached, three exhausted girls slumped wherever they could find space to slump in the booths and tables of Las Galletas Hermanas. "Two hour..." Pinkie Pie yawned. "Nap break," she finished.
"Sounds good..." Applejack cracked a mighty yawn. "T' me, sugarcube."
"Yay..."
Filthy, disheveled, and covered in flour, batter, and icing, the girls dozed off.
Pinkie's phone woke them all up at seven thirty.
"Huzzawazza?" Fluttershy mumbled sleepily.
"Up an' at 'em, girls!" Applejack said briskly. She had dark circles under her eyes and her hair was a complete mess, but she seemed to be wide awake and alert. "We gotta move 'em out! Ah done tol' Big Macintosh t' be here at eight sharp, he'll load whut he can in his truck." She stretched. "Meanwhile, think Ah'm gonna head over t' th' school, help set up, maybe grab a shower in the gym an' change inta mah gym clothes."
Pinkie looked herself over. "Ugh, I'm a mess," she said. "Fluttershy, can you load all this stuff into your van? I need to head home and shower and stuff. I'm all Pinkie-stinkie!"
"Umm..." Fluttershy blinked, then sighed. "Alright. I'll load the food into the van. Umm...I guess I'll swing by my place and get cleaned up, then drive over to the school with everything." She frowned at Applejack. "How are you getting to the school?"
Applejack shrugged. "There's a bus, ain't there?" She stretched, popping her neck and back. "Let's head 'em up an' move 'em out!"
* * * * *
By a quarter to nine, Canterlot High School was a buzzing hive of activity. Students and their parents were turning up in every conceivable manner of car, truck, van, and SUV, unloading bags, boxes, and other miscellaneous packages of food. Signs all over the school directed traffic to either the bake sale area or the cooking contest area, and Principal Celestia and Vice-Principal Luna were patrolling with megaphones, barking instructions as students and faculty volunteers set up tables and equipment.
"That for the cooking contest? It goes to the gym! You there, bake sale's this way! You three, help set up tables! Let's go, people!" Luna bellowed into a megaphone.
A few minutes before nine, Pinkie Pie parked her powder blue party scooter, hopped off, and bounced across the parking lot, headed for the roped-off area where dozens of tables were being set up and students were unloading wrapped and plastic-boxed breads, cookies, cupcakes, and pastries and sticking post-its and price stickers on them. She found Applejack hanging out near the "gate" of the bake sale area wearing a tight T-shirt and tiny gym shorts, leaning against a tree, tapping her bare foot impatiently with her arms crossed. "Hey AJ!" she called chipperly. She looked around. "Where's Fluttershy? I don't see her or any of our bakey-wakeys!"
Applejack groaned, shoving her hat down over her face. "Fluttershy's havin' engine trouble," she said.
* * * * *
Two animal rescue workers and a mechanic crowded around Fluttershy's van, carefully extracting a whole family of raccoons from the engine. Fluttershy sat next to the van, happily playing with a fidgety baby raccoon.
* * * * *
"What about Big Macintosh?" Pinkie Pie asked.
Applejack sighed. "He's havin' Injun trouble..."
* * * * *
Big Macintosh growled and drummed his hands on his steering wheel, eyes heavy-lidded as he stared at the Buffalo Pride Parade which was slowly crossing the main thoroughfare.
* * * * *
Pinkie's jaw dropped. "WHAT?! So you mean...NONE of our stuff's here?"
"Sure ain't," Applejack said. "Might not even git here in time, neither."
"But...but...!" Pinkie's hair deflated. "We worked so hard! And...and..."
"Y'think Ah don't know that?" Applejack snapped. "Dang it all, it's jes' bad luck is whut it is!"
Pinkie sighed. "Okay, it's cool. I got this. Find out exactly where Fluttershy and Big Mac are. I'm gonna call in..." Her eyes narrowed dangerously. "The cavalry."
* * * * *
Diamond Tiara's aging butler Randolph pushed a stainless steel cart loaded with elegant-looking cardboard boxes, all pink with purple and gold decorative trim, through the maze of tables. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon barked orders at him and two other students, never looking up from their phones as the boxes were loaded onto a table.
A girl with yellow skin, red hair done up in twin buns, and a smattering of freckles bounded over with a label printer. "Okay, how much are we tagging all this?" she asked.
Diamond Tiara waved a hand vaguely. "The petit fours are all twelve dollars a box, the mille-feuille is nine dollars a box, the macarons are seven dollars a box—"
"Umm..." The label girl frowned. "You do know there's a five dollar limit on all items, right? It was in the handout and on the website..."
"Hello, girls!" Principal Celestia said as she walked over. "Well, you certainly brought quite a lot to the table!" She examined the boxes and the pastries within. "Oh, how delightful! Petit fours, macarons, mille-feuille, religieuse...you girls truly outdid yourselves! And I simply adore your presentation!"
Diamond Tiara buffed her nails on her dress. "Why, thank you, Principal Celestia! It was no big problem, really. Anything to help!"
"Wait until you see us win the Cooking Contest," Silver Spoon said with a smirk.
"If you can make pastries like this, I wouldn't be surprised," Celestia said.
"Principal Celestia, there's a little issue with pricing," the redhead with the label printer said. "They want to charge more than five dollars for this stuff."
Celestia frowned. "Well...I'm afraid we do have a five dollar limit, even if these pastries would sell for much more in any shop in the city." She laughed as she added, "why, the last time I went to Patisserie Chocolat Graisse, I paid fifteen dollars for mille-feuille just like this..." She trailed off, her brow furrowing as she leaned in and examined the boxes more closely. "Wait a minute," she said. She ran a finger over the surface of the box containing a mille-feuille, then looked up inquisitively at Diamond Tiara. "Girls, did you buy these at Patisserie Chocolat Graisse?"
"Well, of course!" Diamond Tiara said. "Only the best for CHS!"
Celestia pinched the bridge of her nose. "Of all the..." She shook her head. "Girls," she explained patiently, "you realize we have to reimburse the students half on their receipts from all bake sale contributions, right?"
"I remember something about that, yeah," Diamond Tiara said.
Celestia groaned. "Diamond Tiara, half of the cost of all this is far more than we'll make selling it! If we sell these items at the bake sale, it'll be a loss."
Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon exchanged a glance. "What's your point?" Diamond Tiara asked.
Celestia facepalmed. "Do you girls even understand what a fundraiser is?"
The two girls glanced at one another again and shrugged.
Celestia sighed. "Just...get it out of here," she said. "Actually, wait." She reached into her pocket and pulled out a twenty dollar bill. "I'll take two of the mille-feuille off your hands, I have a feeling I'll need a pick-me-up." She grabbed two boxes off the stack, then turned to Randolph. "You're with them, right?" At his nod, she waved a hand at the pink boxes. "Please deal with this."
"At once, mum," Randolph said. He paused, then added, "Mum? It would behoove you to know that there is another selection of food items Miss Diamond and Miss Spoon purchased—"
"RANDOLPH!" Diamond Tiara hissed.
Celestia groaned. "Let me guess. You two were going to enter the cooking contest too?"
"Well of course!" Diamond Tiara said.
"With food you didn't cook yourselves?"
"With food prepared by the finest gourmet chefs money can buy," Diamond Tiara protested as though Celestia's suggestion offended her.
"Yeah...no," Celestia said tiredly. She smiled at Randolph. "Thank you."
Randolph bowed. "I do apologize, mum," he said.
Diamond Tiara glared at him. "You are so fired," she snarled.
"I'm afraid that's up to your father, Miss Diamond."
Diamond Tiara growled, stuffed Celestia's money into her purse, and stormed off, Silver Spoon at her heels. Celestia shook her head and walked away, muttering to herself. Behind her, the volunteers helping with the bake sale looked at each other, shrugged, and spread out to help other students.
* * * * *
"Well miss, we got all the raccoons out, but you got a bigger problem," a mechanic with buck teeth, wild greasy hair, and a stained baseball cap and overalls said.
Fluttershy gasped. "Oh no! Are there kittens or puppies or squirrels in there too?" She covered her mouth with trembling hands. "Did...did some poor critter die?!"
"No, nothin' like that," the mechanic said placatingly. "It's just that they tore up your fan belt." He shrugged. "This old heap ain't goin' nowhere, an' I don't got th' part you need back at th' shop. Gonna hafta order it."
"B-but...!" Fluttershy's lip trembled. "I have to be able to get this stuff to the bake sale! I have less than an hour!"
The mechanic shrugged. "I'm sorry, miss," he said.
With a loud rumble of a shot muffler, a beat-up pick-up truck pulled into the parking lot. Fluttershy turned to see Big Macintosh turn off his engine and climb out of his truck. "AJ said you was havin' trouble," he said gruffly as he shuffled up.
Fluttershy let out a sigh of relief. "Oh, Big Macintosh, thank goodness!" she said. She blinked. "Wait. Shouldn't you have come in from that way? I mean, if you came from the school—"
"Ain't made it t' th' school yet," Big Mac said with a weary sigh. "Got held up by a parade, then AJ called, said head over here instead." He shoved his hands into his pockets. "Whut's goin' on?"
Fluttershy sighed. "My van's dead," she said. Brightening up, she said, "Oh! But you're here now, so we can load everything into your truck and—"
Big Mac opened the back of Fluttershy's van, stared at the mountain of baked goods filling the space, and shook his head. "Eeenope," he said. "No room."
"Oh," Fluttershy said dejectedly. "Well then...how...?"
A large delivery van suddenly shot around the corner, wobbling dangerously on its wheels as the driver blared the horn. The van practically leapt into the parking lot, screeching to a halt. Fluttershy shrieked in alarm.
The driver's side door opened, and a strange young woman emerged. She had pale tan skin and wore darker tan pants, a dark pink shirt with long white sleeves, and white sneakers. Bright blue eyes twinkled with mischief. Her two-tone hair was short in front, a deep pink color reminiscent of Pinkie Pie's; at the back, her hair was white and done up in a swirly bun, held back by a sky blue bow. Colorful barrettes decorated the pink part of her hair, placed at haphazard, random angles. "Suuuuuup," she said in a jovial, carefree tone.
"Umm...hello?" Fluttershy said. "Who—?"
"Name's Sugar Sprinkles," the woman said. "Pinkie Pie said you were in a jam. I owe her a solid." She giggled. "And a liquid and a gas, but that's a long story. Anyway, I'm here to help."
Fluttershy let out a sigh of relief. "Oh, thank goodness," she said. "We've got all these baked goods to haul to CHS, we've only got an hour to get there, and my van's shot."
"Say no more," Sugar Sprinkles said. "Or say a lot more, speech is free and so is love, but if you wanna talk, talk while we load." She marched over to Fluttershy's van, tossing her keys to Big Mac. "Wanna open up the back of my sweet ride, big guy?"
"Eeyup," Big Mac said, catching them easily and unlocking the delivery van.
"I'll just head back to the shop and order that fan belt for you," the mechanic said as he walked over to his own truck. "I'll be in touch."
"Thank you," Fluttershy said.
Working together, Fluttershy, Big Macintosh, and Sugar Sprinkles moved all the goodies from Fluttershy's broken-down van to Sugar Sprinkles' delivery truck in less than ten minutes. Sugar Sprinkles dusted off her hands and grinned. "Well, let's get this show on the road—"
"Oh! Wait," Fluttershy said. "Maybe we should put the rest of the stuff in here too? So we can all go in one car? Big Mac's truck will be safe here."
"Eeyup," Big Mac agreed.
"Coolios," Sugar Sprinkles said. "You're the boss, dental floss!"
Another ten minutes passed, and everything was loaded into the van. Big Mac and Fluttershy climbed into the cab with Sugar Sprinkles. "Buckle up!" she said as she started the engine.
"Thank you so much for helping us," Fluttershy said.
Sugar Sprinkles laughed. "Oh, it's no big! Now, hang on tight, I'm gonna book it like a main event!"
"What?" Fluttershy asked. Then she screamed as Sugar Sprinkles put the van in gear and floored it.
* * * * *
Ditzy Doo and Sandalwood stepped back and stared at the plastic-wrapped muffins and brownies covering their shared table. "Dude, we are so righteous," Sandalwood said.
Ditzy giggled. "Yeah! Come on, let's find that girl with the sticker gun and put prices on all this."
"Here, we've got the spare," Lyra said from the next table over, where she and Bon Bon stood sticking prices on plastic boxes of croissants, wrapped loaves of homemade bread, and boxes of cinnamon rolls. She looked at their spread and giggled. "Muffins, huh? Figures."
"Those brownies look yummy," Bon Bon said as she loaded a new roll of sticker tape into the gun. "So, how much are you charging?"
"Seventy-five cents each for the muffins, two bucks for each half dozen brownies," Sandalwood said. "That about right, Ditz?"
"Huh? Oh, yeah, that's right," Ditzy said.
"That's a little high for brownies, isn't it?" Lyra asked with a tilt of her head.
Ditzy giggled. "Heehee, the brownies are a little high alright..."
Lyra and Bon Bon exchanged a confused glance, then shrugged. "Well, okay," Lyra said as she took the sticker gun and started tagging the merchandise.
Bon Bon gasped. "Lyra! We gotta head for the cooking contest and start getting ready!"
"Oh, shoot!" Lyra passed the sticker gun to Ditzy. "Gotta go, wish us luck, bye!"
"Good luck!" Ditzy called at the girls' retreating backs.
* * * * *
Applejack tapped her finger against her arm. "Whut's takin' so long?" she wondered.
"Don't worry, they'll be here any—"
A parade of honking horns and startled screams tore through the air.
A delivery van careened onto the street in front of Canterlot High School, screeching to an abrupt halt at the curb. The passenger side door flew open, and Fluttershy jumped out, followed by Big Macintosh. "Nopenopenopenopenope!" the latter muttered over and over again as he dropped to his knees and started kissing the ground. Fluttershy, for her part, staggered over to the portal statue, leaned against the marble base, and threw up all over the ground.
"See? Right on time!" Pinkie Pie said cheerfully, bouncing over to the delivery van. Applejack followed her, wide-eyed and shellshocked. She rushed over to Big Macintosh and knelt beside him. "You okay, Big Mac?"
"Eeeeeenope," Big Mac wheezed.
Sugar Sprinkles got out of the van and stretched. "Whee, that was fun!" She waved at Pinkie. "Hi Pinkie Pie!" She walked around to the back. "Got everything!"
"Great! I knew you'd come through! Hey, Applejack! Come help us unload!"
"Uhhh..."
Big Mac waved her off. "Go ahead," he said. "Ah'm gonna...walk it off."
Fluttershy stood up and delicately wiped her mouth with a kleenex she'd produced from her pocket. "I actually haven't had any breakfast or even cleaned up or anything, so I think I'll get something to eat from the bake sale then head for the gym to...to clean up or something."
"Gym's off limits," Applejack said. "They're settin' up th' cooking contest already."
"Oh," Fluttershy said. "Well...okay. I'll just get something to eat then." As she wandered over to Ditzy's table, she espied the brownies and licked her lips. "A little chocolate is just what I need right now..."
Pinkie Pie started pulling boxes out of the van. "Wow, I'm amazed only a few of our bakey-wakeys got messed up this time!"
Sugar Sprinkles laughed. "Yeah, I upgraded the suspension and added some shock absorbers in the back," she said. "Kinda needed to after all those bad reviews on Bark, y'know?" She smiled. "Need me to stick around and help? I don't really have anything to do today."
"Sure!" Pinkie said happily. "The more the merrier!"
"Righteous."
"May I have your attention please!" Principal Celestia's voice called out over the public address system. "The Cooking Contest will begin in thirty minutes! All entrants who have not yet signed in, please report to the gym now or you will be disqualified!"
"Oh hey, a bunch of my friends are in that!" Pinkie said.
"Really? We'll have to take turns checking it out," Sugar Sprinkles said.
"Hey, uhh...whoever you are," Applejack said as she unloaded a stack of pies, "whut'd you do t' mah brother an' Fluttershy?"
Sugar Sprinkles shrugged. "Some people just can't handle a little aggressive driving..."
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Oh, dear.
Fluttershy, more like FlutterHIGH, amirite?
Dis gunna get gud bra...
Pray the gods that Sugar Sprinkles didn't do anything physical to Big Mac.
Littlest Pet Shop cross-over, I'm very okay with this
Sugar Sprinkles, huh? Well, at least she wasn't singing...
Menus:
Flash and crew: BBQ sauce, with some potatoes and stuff for sides.
Sunset, Rarity, and Twilight: Okonomiyaki, Chiken Cordon Bleu, Special Nachos, and Pizza.
CMC: I'm guessing, Grilled Cheese, Fried Chicken, Mac and Cheese or something else eazy, and Cherry Pie.
Results:
Flash will glide through on the sauce until the round with the Special Nachos. His grandfather will show up and do something. My own thought on this, Angus shows up with a plate of the nachos, takes the sauce pours it over the nachos and leaves, the judges do the same and declare him the victor of the round.
CMC will probably pass the first round due to judge bias on them being kids and producing something edible.
Sunset's crew will probably be in the finales.
forgot spoilers don't like line breaks.
"To be fair, she owes me a plasma. And the less said about the Bose-Einstein condensate, the better."
Things are definitely gearing up. I just hope THC on an empty stomach doesn't hit Fluttershy too hard.
The sale and contest hasn't even started and things are already getting crazy. Once those brownies kick in I can only imagine the damage Fluttershy will do. Now to see how the contest goes.
...I pray for all humanity after Fluttershy eats those brownies.
7828554 Dude. It's her driving. That's what that was about. She drives like a rabid maniac.
7828605 Not yet anyway...
7828690 Would you believe the "engine trouble/Injun trouble" thing is the very first scene I wrote of this story? Oh, and this chapter was already more than half finished because I've been working on it in bits and pieces all along. It didn't take much work to finish it. I'm not sure how long the final three chapters will take.
"Aggressive driving." I live in Illinois, I've seen way too much of that.
And I am so glad I commissioned this. It's better than I imagined.
7828842 I'm having a blast writing it!
I'm just sorry it's been such slow going.
7828830 Who's to say it's her driving and not what happening in the car?
Oh man, this is going to be a glorious trainwreck. Can't wait to see high as a kite Fluttershy.
7828922 Umm, I am? Because I'm the guy writing this story?
How so?
Of course.
Uh, don't you mean-
-Oh. No you don't. You meant exactly what you wrote. Huh. I genuinely don't have anything clever to say to this. That's just fucking funny.
Oh god...
Oi...
Best butler. Actually no, wait, that'd be Alfred. Still good butler snark though.
Ah crapbaskets.
What the shit?
I'm instantly worried.
*stare*
Oh boy...
They're pot brownies aren't they?
You entertain strange company.
You worry me.
You're crazy.
Mythrilmoth, I hope that you didn't create anymore new story and just focus on finishing your earlier story.
Ah typical of Diamond to use her wealth and do nothing and typical of Celestia to let her gluttony get partially over her reason.
Fluttershy will need to go into detox cure after this story.
And did you get inspire from the French movies Taxi to wrote Sugar Sprinkles' driving performance?
7829434 Excuse me, but that's a very rude thing to say.
7829477 Never seen it. Crazy driving isn't exactly a rare trope.
Sugar Sprinkles is your typical California driver.
And so it begins!
Well it is a "baked" sell after all
I was almost sure there was gonna be a that's 70 show reference but who knows just have to wait and see the events unfold :3
I have so many questions how that happened to begin with!?!?!? 😧
Yeah, I don't see those two making it in time for the bake sale.
Yep, they're so out of the competition.
You were supposed to make it yourself, not buy it premade!!!!
Oofity
So that's what she meant by Calvary.
I hope those goods survive the bumpy ride that's about to happen. 🤞
That's a relief.