Jackin' Blitz

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Comments ( 11 )

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TwilightTK

TwilightTK #1 · Jul 2nd, 2012 · · · Blitz's Punishment ·

okay, as I promised, here's a M/M clopfic. The story beyond this is that I was trying to be inspired to make it, and I found this picture on Tumblr. Rule 63 and Rule 34, I guess.

DashieSpeed

DashieSpeed #2 · Jul 3rd, 2012 · · · Payback ·

I like the idea, but not the read. I would really love to read this story over again if you did a good deal of editing. Your grammar is good, but you don't really know how to make the scene more colorful. If you took more time and put more effort in, I would really like this :)

Please dedicate yourself more to this. Even though it's published, you can still changed however, whenever, and how ever much you like. I'd be glad to favorite this if I see improvement, and I give you an A for a good idea.

TwilightTK

TwilightTK #3 · Jul 3rd, 2012 · 1 · · Payback ·

thanks, my friends gave me a challenge to make this, but this a first for me trying this M/M pairing.

UraniumKnight

UraniumKnight #4 · Jul 3rd, 2012 · · · Payback ·

The whole 'Uke/Seme' thing always makes me laugh. I understand the concepts as they stand, but they're poor translations into most sexual relationships, where dynamics are fluid and the needs of partners change from encounter to encounter.

Your scenes are a bit flat, and you do a whole lot of telling, instead of showing. You tell us how Rainbow Blitz feels, you don't use his actions to show us. Just because you can write the character's thoughts doesn't permit haphazard use of them as a shortcut.

Vinyl_Shy

Vinyl_Shy #5 · Jul 3rd, 2012 · · · Blitz's Punishment ·

You do realize applejack is a girl right...

NecromancerX69

NecromancerX69 #6 · Jul 3rd, 2012 · · · Payback ·

848531 DERP!
weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/you-must-be-new-here-willy-wonka.jpg

This is a rule 63 fanfic my friend!

Rule 63 is an internet rule that means "For any given male character, there is a female version of that character." This also apply to female characters turning into males.