One Day Only
It was the most terrifying sight the changeling had ever seen.
All the way to the town park, ponies had lined up along the street, from old, wrinkled stallions with long white beards to young little fillies and colts, running around with balloons. There was even the distant sound of a brass band playing from the park, which was where Trixie had planned on dragging her wagon to do the show.
His knees trembled while Trixie was harnessing him to the wagon, which suddenly felt so much larger and mud-splattered than before. Step by step, he walked behind Trixie as she bowed and waved to the gathering crowd on the way to their performance. Despite being under the garish advertisement sandwich robe/tarp/sign, Question had the horrible sensation of being stark naked in a crowd of well-dressed ponies. They whistled at him, and smiled, and more than a few small fillies and colts waved sugar cubes at him from the side of the street in the hopes that he would divert from his nervous path right behind Trixie. The weight of the wagon was all that kept him from a panic-filled flight away from the town and all of the happy ponies, although by the time Trixie had brought him to the park, that sense of pure terror had abated into just an intense desire to find a bathroom somewhere, because he had not gone before their departure from the cabin.
He had not really ever investigated the wagon further than the tiny living/storage space, but when Trixie pulled a rope and half of the side just dropped open, his jaw fell just as far as many of the crowd.
With a burst of fireworks, Trixie leapt up on the newly-revealed stage and proclaimed, “Fillies and Gentlecolts! Gather around, for the Great and Powerful Trixie is about to start her show in just a few minutes. Please be seated and prepare to be amazed, for this exclusive event will be presented one time only! Fantastic tricks! Fascinating illusions! And Trixie!” She vanished into the wagon with a swirl of her cape and to the scattered applause of the gathering ponies, then reappeared long enough to unharness the changeling from the wagon and bring him back into the wagon too.
“Shush,” said Trixie while taking her hat off and checking on the packs of cards and tricks tucked inside. “Little ponies like to crowd next to Trixie’s wagon and eavesdrop.”
Instead of babbling in panic, Question nodded and focused on the emotional surroundings. True to her word, several of the little ponies had scampered under the wagon and were lurking in wait for the show, their burning curiosity making little spots of delicious emotions for him to carefully nibble on. With the vast buffet available from the surrounding townsponies, Question had to try very hard not to gorge himself, but a little here and a little there would never be missed. He suppressed a quiet burp and nodded again, shrugging out of his warm coat of advertising and trying to look both alert and stupid, much like a golden retriever or a pegasus.
“Stick your tongue back in,” said Trixie with a shudder. “It’s like dealing with some psychotic chameleon. Yes, we’ll still do the Sugar Cube Stealer routine,” she added at his pouting expression. “Now, let’s start the show.”
Putting a record of background music onto the tattered and worn phonograph, Trixie and her ‘pet’ stepped out onto the stage to the applause of hundreds.
~ ~ ♠ ~ ~
It could have gone worse. It could have gone a lot better too, but as long as the end of the performance did not end with an arrest, the changeling was content. Terrified for most of the time on stage, but still content.
The trick where he was to balance the ball on the end of his nose went almost as badly as rehearsal, with several of the audience having to chase down the bouncing ball whenever Trixie turned away and Question naturally moved his head to follow her. Eventually, he just used both forehooves to hold the ball steady whenever she looked away, and quickly put his hooves down whenever she looked back in his direction, which set the audience howling with laughter.
Thankfully, the ‘Sawing a Changeling In Half’ trick went well, which was a great relief, because it was only after he had been locked in the box that he realized Trixie had an easy way to weasel out on her debt and get rid of an annoying changeling in the process. It made him very careful to follow the skimpy directions she had given him before the show and a perfect excuse to check his body for missing parts afterwards, which the crowd loved.
Question did draw the line at jumping through the flaming hoop she produced without warning in the middle of the act. He shook his head, she cajoled him and called him a scaredybug, and the audience laughed, which really did not feel very funny to him except at the end where she jumped through the hoop to prove how safe it was.
It only took a minute to put out the fire on her tail, which Question suspected had been planned simply for the self-deprecating humor of it all, and probably would wind up with more bits in the collection bin, so he rolled with it.
And he rolled when Trixie put him onto a barrel so he could move it across the stage by balancing on top of it, or falling off in one direction with his hooves flailing as fast as he could run until it ran over him.
He did not roll when Trixie had him pick a card from a deck and he could not remember what to do next. So he ate the card. The audience ate it up, giving out such a wave of positive emotions that Question had to inadvertently burp afterwards, which only set them off again.
The one trick that went perfectly as planned was when Trixie announced, "Behold, while my fearsome feral changeling displays the greatest weapon he has in his arsenal! Question, play dead!"
Clutching a hoof to his chest, Question took one staggering step forward and let out a strangled chirp. Then he staggered to his left, then right, before circling once and letting out a noise quite close to a frog's croak. Finally, he dropped to the ground, lifted all four legs up in the air, and gave off a rattling chirp which died out into a quiet gurgle.
"Are you done yet?" asked Trixie over the sound of the crowd's laughter.
Question nodded.
The audience loved it. Without performing on stage with Trixie, he never would have been able to guess something that silly would get cheers instead of jeers. His education continued with learning that Encore meant ‘Do that again, but different.’ He learned that Trixie had some tricks which were a total mystery to him, even when he was standing by her side and looking as closely as possible. He learned that some of the little brats in the audience found it hilarious to feed him a marble or a rock, and the rest of the ponies found it even more funny when he spit the inedible substance back at the tormentor, particularly if he could hit them right between the eyes.
It was fun.
The performance seemed to last forever while he was on stage, and only a few seconds once Trixie was taking her bows. Afterwards, they stood out in front of the stage in the fading light of the impending sunset and stamped autographs (at two bits each) until both of them were limping through the dark streets by the light of Trixie’s horn, dragging themselves and the wagon back to the cabin.
“Bath,” rasped Trixie while trudging to a halt inside the main room of the cabin, with her tail drooping to the ground and her squashed hat falling to one side.
Once the changeling had ensured the front door was securely locked and the blinds closed, he took off his leash and bounded forward into the bathroom. “Great idea. Let me get it run and bubbling.”
“I hate you,” grumbled Trixie, taking one slow step forward at a time. “I’m sucked dry by that performance and you’re all full of perk and pep.” She poked her nose in the bathroom to supervise the changeling’s happy bath preparation and cocked an eyebrow at the water running into the tub and the box of pink bubble bath he was holding. “You’re just doing this all as a setup to get me in a romantic mood, aren’t you?”
“Need anypony to scrub your back?” he chirped, setting the brush to one side of the tub. “Nevermind, I know your answer. You don’t have a sexy sister, do you?”
“No.” Trixie groaned while pulling used tricks out of her violet cloak, dropping them on the table outside of the bathroom door with the faint jingle of metal rings and the occasional card fluttering to the floor. “How about you?”
“Really?” The changeling considered her words while waiting on the tub to fill. There were a whole series of false stories he had been trained to use in such circumstances, or at least circumstances vaguely similar to this, but the bitter cynical taint of Trixie’s emotions made it unlikely she would accept any of them. Truth, although seldom used, would have to do. “Four, and five brothers. My parents in the hive were quite successful gatherers, and were permitted a much larger family.”
“Too much information,” groaned Trixie. The bag of bits she dumped on the floor made a satisfying thud, even after the performance taxes and something called a ‘bond’ left on deposit with the sheriff to ensure any rapid departures would not result in unpaid bills left behind. The cloak followed, soggy with sweat and with all of its many pockets empty, leaving Trixie bare when she plodded through the bathroom doorway. “Is the bath done yet?”
“Running, but slow and cold.” The changeling twitched and straightened the bathroom rug. “Lie down.”
She may have been tired, but Trixie was certainly not obedient. She glared at him through narrowed eyes, but before she could snap out some bitter response, Question added, “I’ll rub your back while the tub fills. You’re leaking ‘ouchies’ all over your emotional buffet, like somebody spread tabasco sauce all over the salad bar.”
“Trixie is fine. Besides, who doesn’t like tabasco sauce on their lettuce?” she grumbled. She looked at the slow-filling tub with a cross glare and lit her horn, making the water in the bottom begin to steam.
“Left shoulder, neck, hind hooves, right around your horn, and how can you hurt there?” asked Question. “There’s no muscles or anything to strain, just your thick skull.”
“Headache.” Trixie’s horn light went abruptly out. “I suppose while Trixie is helpless, you’re going to throw me into a cocoon and travel Equestria in my disguise.”
“Ehh…” The changeling hesitated a little because the thought had crossed his mind again, but only briefly. “I’d have to pull the wagon all by myself, I can’t do nearly all the tricks you can do, and every law enforcement unicorn in the country would be using that darned spell to spot me. Besides, we make a good team. We could even go tour the hive.”
He threw his forehooves up in the air and cackled, “Behold the Great and Powerful Question, with his pet Feral Unicorn, Trixie!” Question paused, still balanced precariously on his back hooves, and raised an eyebrow ridge at his audience of one. “Interested?”
Trixie reached out with one hoof and gently poked him in the belly, knocking him off-balance and making him stumble inside the bathroom. She followed, landing chest-down on the thin bathroom rug and stretching over most of the available floor. “Only with a seventy-thirty split,” she muttered. “And backrubs, with nothing near the tail or I’ll see if you can breathe soapy water. Get cracking, buggy-boy.”
He settled down on top of the flattened unicorn, feeling just a little uncomfortable at his role of private pool pony, but still pressing his holey hooves into every ache and pain that was filtering up through Trixie’s emotional aura. Keeping an eye on the rising water in the tub, he proceeded to work the tired unicorn into a vaguely paste-like substance which emitted grunts and low groans of pleasure, stopping only when the tub was full and he turned off the taps.
“Are you sure about that tail rule?” he asked, then grunted while rubbing down several knots in her back which he had previously reduced to inconsequential twinges. “Sorry. It’s just a reflex. Did you know you’re putting out… feelings?”
“A gentlecolt doesn’t peek,” grunted Trixie as he continued to rub her shoulders. “If you need any incentive to keep your ambitions to yourself, just think of me as a praying mantis.”
“Ooo,” said Question, overcome with giggles. “Another sexy bug. Wanna rub mandibles and make buggy nookie?”
“Only if I get to bite your head off afterwards,” muttered Trixie. She licked her lips with a loud smacking noise and turned her head sideways so she could look up at him, smiling just enough that he was not quite certain how serious her offer was, only that he did not really want to know.
It took until he had worked his way down to a double rear-ankle rub before he ventured, “Actually, you should probably get into the tub if we’re going to get out of here early tomorrow. You’ve got a long trip to Puerto de Caballo, and I need to find a good place on the road to head out on my own.” He patted his stomach and burped quietly. “It’s too bad we can’t keep this up. Probably got a couple months worth of love stored for later.”
Trixie coughed once, then rolled over on her side so she could look back at him. Both of her thin eyebrows were drawn together until they nearly touched and her lips were pursed up into a tight pucker, almost as if she were considering kissing a lemon. She breathed in, then let it all out in one huge rush of air that might have concealed the words “Thank you” in the middle of it, if one were to listen very, very hard.
“You’re welcome,” he responded, and to his great surprise, meaning it. He offered a hoof to assist her rising up from the floor and into the tub, and soaped up the back brush while she was descending into the warm water. No more words were exchanged while they each took their own baths, with Trixie excusing herself once Question had descended into the slightly murky water and offered her the back brush. Instead, he could hear her counting bits in the other room while he polished his shiny chitin to a clean gleam, then treaded carefully into the other room to retrieve each of their clothes and gave them a good washing too.
As he was hanging up the damp ‘Feral Changeling’ robe, he considered the wording on the bottom, measuring the distance from the hem with one hoof and a faint frown. “The Great and Powerful Trixie only needs to trim off this bottom section with my name on it, and she has a warm jacket for the fall weather.”
“Trixie has enough money to buy her own coat.” Trixie put two bags of bits out onto the floor, one somewhat larger than the other, but both a respectful size and many more than he had started with just yesterday. She carried her bit bag out into the wagon and returned in a few moments with a small package, which she sat next to the bed.
She could not get into the bed, because it was already occupied.
“Get out,” she growled.
Question peeked out from the edge of the blanket. “But it’s warm in here.”
When angry, Trixie had a way of tucking her bottom lip under her teeth which made her look a little like a bulldog sitting on a sandbur. “I just went out to the wagon and got a nice new wool blanket that I had tucked away for emergencies.”
“Keep it,” said Question, hiding his grin with the edge of the comforter he was under. “This one is just fine, and has space enough for two under it if we snuggle.”
“Trixie does not like bedbugs,” she said with a sharp frown. “If Trixie does not get her sleep alone, she will be very cranky in the morning. She will not be filled with warmth and love.”
He peeked back out from under the blanket, trying to control a severe case of the giggles. “Wool itches.”
“I’ll let you keep the sheet,” said Trixie levelly.
Question decided that was probably about as good as he was going to get. He wordlessly crawled out of the bed and onto the floor cushions, leaving the warm comforter behind. Trixie tucked the sheet and the wool blanket around him before climbing into her own bed under the pre-warmed comforter, curling up without any more words.
Hearing no response, Question braced himself to dodge a pillow and tentatively asked, “Are you sure we can’t share?”
“No.”
“You can’t blame a bug for trying, can you?”
There was no response other than a brief snort.
“Could I get a bedtime story?”
Accelerated release because I have a family reunion to go to tomorrow. (It's actually the family reunion that made me write the story. Also, today is my birthday.)
7498384
Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhappy birthday.
Happy birthday!
7498378 So does Trixie. It's this thing called 'names get used a lot in fiction'.
Also, personal pronouns can add variety. Instead of 'the changeling said', write something like 'he said'.
Also also, referring to someone who has a name by their species is very dehumanizing and makes your reader less likely to care.
7498384
Well, happy birthday then.
7498384
happy birthday!
7498384
Happy Birthday!
P.S. Loving the story.
7498384 Well then happy birthday
Really loving the story so far
Care to tell me more about Dark Equestria?
7498384 Happy Birthday!
Congratulations on making it another year. Hope the family go quietly.
Now for a song for todays episode.
My Brother Kevin.
"Okay. Once upon a time, there was an annoying little bug that would not let The Great and Powerful Trixie sleep. So in the morning, the cranky and exhausted Trixie grabbed a rolled up newspaper, and swatted him. She then lived happily ever after while he was just a smear on the front page. The end."
Happy Birthday fellow child of August. And many happy returns!
This is a great story.
Bravo
I thought the description of the performance was great! I've seen a lot of takes on Trixie's greatest act but this one felt realistic. The jokes really are the stuff that crowds eat up.
Great description of the joint performance. Looks like Question has a future in show biz.
Also - happy birthday!
7498735 Yeah, editing artifact from a previous phrase. Fixed.
7498601 Humor is *tough* to do.
7498473 It would make the headlines, that's for sure.
7498459 I don't know much about it, but if you follow the artist's link, that should help. It seems neat.
7498417 7498422 7498426 7498428 7498429 7498435 7498462 7498488 7498660 I shall eat a piece of cake for each of your blessings. Thanks!
Happy Birthday. Really enjoying the story
All you need now is Twilight Sparkle as Dorothy Lamour
Happy bday and thank for this gift xD
Happy birthday and I hope the reunion goes well.
"Who needs no adjective! This time!"
A very fun chapter, this. A shame neither member of this partnership is willing to keep it together. I wonder what, if anything, will convince them.
Also happy birthday. Or possibly the day after, depending on your time zone.
7498384
Heh, love that last quip from Question. Forgot to say he got beaned by all the pillows after it.
It's rather curious that none of the Mane 6 have been mentioned while Trixie's been in Ponyville. You'd think at the very least Pinkie would have pronked by and tried feeding a cupcake to Question (more sugar than cake most likely). Still, with as much good will Trixie and Question have generated, that should go a long way to smoothing over past troubles.
...And I'd love to see The Amazing and Powerful Question and his Feral Unicorn, Trixie!
Don't know if I've missed it at this point but still happy birthday Georg!
Not sure if it's still your birthday, but I hope you had a happy one. Always nice to see another August birthday.
Lovely chapter, and it looks like the next one is the last. Say it ain't so!
"Please do not feed Question rocks. Only the Pie family can eat rocks."
I've been so busy but just wanted to say thanks for the incredibly fast updates! xD
Loving this more and more. Quest is really lucky he didn't get his head knocked clean off from thinking Trixie was fat, mare is toned so much from cart pulling and rock breaking. lol She's trained under the pies! She could crush rock with her bare teeth no doubt!
Cute little back and forths with the flirting, and that obsession with 'tails' Trixie seems to have. I can imagine a few ponies being dumb enough to try that offer of bits in some of her journeys, geez.
Anyhow, still looking out for more. Forgot all the things I wanted to say before yesterday morning but bleh, life!
A bit late but HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!
Awwww, I'd love to give him a bedtime story.
7499481 I was sure that they were in a different town to Ponyville.
I love this line so much.