Chapter 16
Jacob learned that day there was a bar somewhere near the roof of the largest structure in Unity, where there was always enough of “the good cider” for every pony returning from a difficult or successful mission. The four of them got a table near the balcony, where those who could fly were free to come and go. “That was about the smoothest mission I’ve ever seen.” Harley toasted with a rough wooden mug, and they all drank (except Danielle, who only had water).
The excitement was infectious, blush on his cheeks notwithstanding. He had heard something similar moving through the whole of Unity as news of fifty-two refugees brought to safety was passed around. Jacob could share that enthusiasm, even if he didn’t feel as much like they had earned it. It seemed more like whoever points us at ponies for rescuing should get the credit. They were the ones who found an actual pony that the bad guys hadn’t found yet. The “bad guys” everyone (including Harley) were notoriously tight-lipped about. Maybe she would be looser with what she knew after a little alcohol and a little success? “So who’d we just beat? It can’t be the police, right? Police wouldn’t have known to come in force.”
“Nah.” Harley set her drink down. “Not the police. We’ve been over that before. Those ponies end up in our way because of the ones they have to listen to.” She gestured vaguely with one hand out the balcony and over the grounds. The large crowd of new refugees was all out there, getting a tour. Well, all except the pony.
Now that he knew the consequences of magical exposure, Jacob had no more desire to break the rules and hadn’t tried to visit the small sections of Unity where ponies without human features spent their time. No doubt the poor Allie was getting counseling right now, or maybe coming back through the mirror so she could get one of those solid illusions the ponies used. He was a little vague on the details for those, though he suspected it was some kind of reverse of what was going on with himself and other humans who spent too long around magic.
Danielle spoke up, her voice quiet enough that those at other tables might have trouble hearing. “So who are they? I get why someone might want to stop us—exposing the world to magic that can change all of us against our will is something lots of people would want to fight. But… maybe if we knew more about them, we could help you come up with even better ways to fight.”
Harley narrowed her eyes at her a moment, then shrugged. She gestured for them all to lean closer, and they did without objection. “So, you gotta take this with a drop of love, because we can only guess about lots of this. Say what you want about magic, but ponies are next to useless with espionage. They know way more about us than we know about them, and we still don’t know who their sources are. Probably not anypony in Unity, but it seems like they know someone from Equestria. Not to mention they”—she tensed—“don’t let themselves be captured alive. Every one of the important ones has a false tooth right here.” She gestured into her mouth, at one of the back molars. “They’ll kill themselves rather than let us interrogate them. Smart bastards.”
“Would you torture them or something?” Eric asked.
She laughed, and took another long swig of her cider. “You kidding? All we’d have to do is take them back to Celestia and have her ask nicely to know what we wanted. Works every time.”
Jacob doubted that very much, but he wasn’t about to say so when it wasn’t what he actually cared about. “So what do you know?”
“We’re pretty damn sure the ones in charge are all part of the same group, called the ‘Light Tenders.’ That’s about the most we’ve ever gotten out of one before they…” She shook her head. Though she had a stronger stomach than most ponies, even Harley had her limits. Jacob didn’t press her, waiting for her to continue on her own. “So ponies have dug up as much of the history as they can find. Damn near nothing. Ancient buggers, we’re talking at least a thousand years ago. All the old legends about them describe their start as a branch of one of your religions that were all banned for… something or other. Only they escaped getting killed, and kept on doing their thing.”
“That’s the stupidest, vaguest crap I’ve ever heard.” Danielle pushed over her empty glass.
“I know!” Jacob couldn’t tell if Harley was amused or upset. “Imagine the face on the Princess of Libraries when she couldn’t learn something from books. I can hardly imagine the crisis of faith.”
She drained her tankard in another few drafts before she continued. “We’ve found bits and pieces of their writing and it’s all the same sorta stuff. Basically, how their saint showed up to tell them that humans were weak compared to all the monsters and stuff out there. Their saint could show them how to fight them.”
“Lots of people believed in that stuff back then,” Eric said. “Demons, dragons, trolls…”
“Well I guess you were smarter back then!” She held up her glass. “Wench! I require more booze!”
The “wench” was a teenager about seventeen or eighteen, with pink-red hair and a fierce glare on her face. She slammed a new tankard down in front of Harley so hard it chipped and a little slopped out onto her front. “Oops.”
“Apple Bloom?” Jacob couldn’t help but ask, though he couldn’t meet her eyes for very long. He had seen the damage an earth pony could do in Danni, and she wasn’t even a pony.
“If my sister would let me do anything more important, I would.” She took the empty tankard in her arms, then stalked off.
Harley didn’t seem to notice. “But you’re right, they’re pretty damn rare here. We used to be positive the only ones here must have come from Equestria at some point, or been dumped here by irresponsible wizards. But…” She took another sip. “The monster mash always seems to show up in town when we get there to save you refugees, and that just doesn’t make sense. True, they need magic to live, and you guys can be a helpless new source… but it’s a damn strange coincidence to keep happening over and over.”
“So who knows? Maybe they’ve been catching and taming the damn things, so they can send them in like shock troops whenever they visit. Assholes seem to have figured out the pony bleeding heart thing, so props for that I guess.”
“The real point is that the Light Tenders got it in their heads that we ponies are the latest threat to ‘humanity’ or whatever. And we’re not sure who, but we’re pretty sure they’ve got hooves in the American Military and the Canadian Parliament and lots of other places. Cuz no matter where we go, there’s somepony to stop us. Well… except for the poor countries, but most of them didn’t really get hit by the propaganda anyway, so it’s pointless.”
“Is that really all you know?” Jacob was indignant. “You’ve been fighting them for a year, and you aren’t even sure who you’re fighting?”
Harley shrugged. “It’s all I know. The important ponies haven’t gotten a spy in who came back, big surprise. If they’d take my damn suggestions, I’m sure we’d have all their damn secrets by now. But no, we’re too good for getting help, never mind that the new enemies shoot to kill while the old ones only maimed.”
Something loud echoed over the grounds, something that froze every conversation and song and game in the bar to dead silence. Though Jacob had never heard one in person before, he recognized the noise at once: an air-raid siren.”
“Shit.” Harley got to her feet before anyone in the bar, though there were many others not far behind.
Chaos exploded around them, ponies screaming and tables falling over and glasses shattering. Harley alone remained where she was, holding still as people practically trampled each other to get to the door.
“What’s going on?” Eric shouted over the din, loud enough that they could all hear it.
“It’s never happened before!” Even Harley sounded afraid, though she hid it far better than most of the ponies around them. “It means we’re about to be under attack, and it’s calling everypony to battle stations.”
The ground abruptly shook, so violently that more of the glasses by the bar mirror fell and shattered. It was like an earthquake, but more abrupt than any Jacob had ever known. Only Danni managed to stay standing, and her only just.
“Oh, and we’ll probably try to lose them in a storm.” The ground was still moving, though the acceleration seemed constant now. Jacob could get up without too much difficulty, staggering towards the balcony.
People scattered in all directions: guards in human and pony shapes both rushing to the little buildings along the edge of the grounds. Guns ground and rotated up into position, though that was far from the hardest thing to see.
All of Unity—grounds, ramparts, bunkers and all—was moving. The hand of God seemed to be speeding them through the air, leaving clouds behind. And just clouds, too. There was no mountain… probably there hadn’t ever been.
Danni helped Eric to his feet. “What are we supposed to do, Harley? They never prepared us for an attack!”
“Uh…” She looked down. “Maybe… get inside? The lower levels are probably safer. Oooh, we could get to the mirror! That way, if we need to evacuate, we could!”
“We’ve been at war for how long and you don’t know what we’re supposed to do if we’re actually attacked?” Danni sounded angrier than Jacob felt.
Harley was indignant. “It’s supposed to be impossible! All four of the princesses worked together enchanting this place. Someone who already knows where it is has to lead you here, and we’re always moving, and…”
“Hey.” He glared at both of them, then drew his wand. ”How about we figure out what went wrong after we live through it?” Anger could wait until they survived.
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Hoo boy.
I suppose there's an Outsider involved in this continuity too.
That was fast! How did she escape and call them in so quickly?
Getting some changelings to infiltrate does seem a pretty obvious thing to try.
7464321
They did claim that they had a new type of tracker on her as well.
Of course, we also haven't seen any sign that Unity has actually been found yet. The alarm could also mean that the ponies realised Agent Avery was not who she claimed to be when she came back through the mirror looking slightly older than expected. They could be moving out pre-emptively after realising that Avery could technically get around their safeguards.
7464417 Well, okay. What I remembered them saying about trackers was that they'd tried them before and they never worked.
7464417, what was that then?
Fight now, pick up the pieces and interrogate after. Sounds like a solid plan to me.
7464517 That was the base taking off.
Okay, I'm 99% on her being a changeling. The other line about the ponies not taking her infiltration suggestions has already been pointed out. In fact, has that already been confirmed and I just missed it?
Do you mean this sound? (49sec)
7464597, my miss.
Will the mane six (especially Fluttershy) be badass in this story?
It's kinda pathetic how unprepared the ponies are for this war.
God, the ponies are terrible at making war. Shit man, when's the last time they had a good skirmish, let alone a full blown covert campaign in a foreign world? They're so poorly prepared for this. I feel like they should have been at least a little aware of how quick to violence and aggression humanity can be. Compared to them we're god damn veterans. We've been at this war mongering all our existence. Magic just isn't gonna cut it at this point. This operation just continues to seem like a worse and worse idea. Poorly thought out and poorly executed.
...
Well
...
They're dead.
7543374 it's no surprise really, when was the last time they have ever needed to be a war? centuries where on the other hand when has the US not been in some war or another. if it was us invading them then they might stand a chance, but them coming here? forget it
That... argh!
Okay, it's official, the ponies are too stupid to live. If they really wanted to, it would be a simple thing to reveal themselves to the world, and, y'know, actually open up some diplomatic contacts. I don't care how highly placed these Illuminati ripoffs are, it's a lot harder to hide something than it is to reveal it. Send a pony to every major city in the world and start shooting off magical fireworks. Or send someone in pony to the less-developed countries where the conspiracy doesn't reach, and make contact through them. Or teleport in, grab a nation's leader, and teleport right back out again, so you can have a frank discussion on your own terms. Something!
What's their endgame here, anyway? Just keep rescuing the magic-afflicted? Then what? This is not just "bad at war", this is "completely lacking in the ability to think or plan", and it is therefore a minor miracle that ponies are even a thing.
Humanity's endgame, once the whole conspiracy crap is out of the way, should now be to take all of Equestria into protective custody until someone marginally competent can be found to rule.