Even though the chair he was sitting in was one of the most exquisite pieces of furniture that Gosling had ever seen in his life, he could not get comfortable no matter how hard he tried. Everything felt hard, lumpy, and misshapen. He felt a dull headache settling in and thudding against the base of his skull. He reached up and massaged his right temple with his folded fetlock hoping to ease the pressure in his skull.
His eyes darted to the left and he saw snatches of pink and white in his vision. Cadance and Celestia were sprawled out on a couch together, a massive, overstuffed couch that was big enough for Celestia to spread out and get comfortable on. Alicorns required much larger, much sturdier furniture. While having them both nearby helped, Gosling found that he wanted his mother. The thought made his mouth go dry.
Sitting in her chair, Skyfire looked fearful, terrified even. Her eyes were glassy from heavy sedation. Her feathers were ruffled, mussed, and she hadn’t preened in quite some time. Her mane was matted and clumped from sweat.
“Skyfire, I want to help you,” Gosling began, opening up the conversation with some hopeful words, “but my help comes with a price. I’m sorry, but that’s just how it is. I’m only helping you because it is the right thing to do, not because I have any feelings for you. The only feelings I have left for you are disgust and loathing.” His voice cracked a few times and grew raspy as he spoke.
Skyfire recoiled as if she had been struck, she flinched, her ears drooped, and she turned her eyes away from Gosling, unable to bear his stern gaze. When she spoke, her voice was a shrill whine. “So much for what we had together—”
“I will not be manipulated again,” Gosling said in a low, wet, bubbling growl as he cut Skyfire off. “We never had anything… I see that now. I’ve come around and saw reality.”
“How can you say that?” Skyfire asked.
“Easy,” Gosling replied, “you made it so easy for me to say it.” His eyes narrowed and his ears pitched forwards in an aggressive manner. “For the longest time, you were the most amazing filly I knew… everypony wanted to be with you. In school, you were that girl. The girl. And you kept me parked right in the friend zone for the longest time, but I had high hopes.” He paused and swallowed, expecting to taste acid, but it seemed that his medication was working. He lifted his hoof and pointed at the filly across from him.
“You kept me as your friend and you dumped all of your troubles on me and I listened, I listened and I hung on every word you said because I had hopes that one day, you would see me as more than just a friend. I had hopes that you would see me for who and what I was, and that you would know that I would treat you good.” Gosling shook his head and lowered his hoof as his lip curled back from his teeth in a snarl.
“And then, then came the happiest day of my life… you noticed me. I thought you finally came to your senses. I was so in love with you… and you… you used that. You knew that you were pregnant even then, and you thought you could get a free ride out of me. You knew me, you knew my values, you knew what sort of pony I was, and you knew that I’d break my fronking back for you to give you a good life.”
“I’m sorry, Gosling,” Skyfire said, shaking her head.
“Not yet you’re not, but you will be.” Gosling’s ears stood up, stayed that way for a moment, and then folded back against his skull as his eyes narrowed even more. “I was just a free ride for you… that’s all I was… you got knocked up, you panicked, and you ran to the only decent colt you knew with the hopes of luring me into bed in a hurry, so you could say this foal you’re having is mine. And then when I turned you down, when I turned you away, the things you said about me. You dragged my name through the mud. You made what few friends I had hate me. The entire school hated me. The harassment got so bad that I had to leave home.”
“I went a little crazy,” Skyfire admitted, still unable to look Gosling in the eye. “I was scared. I panicked. You ruined everything… you were supposed to be the colt that saved me.”
“Well, good news, Skyfire… I’m the colt that is going to save you, but it is going to come at a price. I’ve negotiated for you a pardon, but you are going to have to work for it.” Gosling’s bitter words left behind a thick silence in the air that lingered and grew heavy.
After several long moments that threatened to turn into minutes, Skyfire responded in a timid voice, “Shouldn’t a pardon just be given?”
Lifting his hoof, Gosling covered his mouth, coughed, and then pulled his hoof away. He cleared his throat, which felt a little scratchy. “No. No, see, that’s the problem. You keep looking for a free ride. You want to go through life with no effort at all. No responsibility. You’re about to be a mother, Skyfire. A single mom by the looks of things, because once all of this settles, your name is gonna be mud and nopony in their right mind will want to be with you.” As he watched, tears slipped down Skyfire’s cheek. “A wise pony wouldn’t shtup you with a stolen putz.”
“That’s a little heartless, dontcha think? I mean—”
“Shut up,” Gosling commanded in a disgusted voice. “You don’t get to talk about or make accusations about being heartless, you soulless parasite.” He heard Cadance clearing her throat off to his left and he held back on saying everything that lurked in his mind. He choked back the rest of the angry words that wanted to spill out and tried to find his sense of calm once more. His neck felt hot, the thudding in the back of his skull had grown worse, and he could feel something gnawing in his guts.
Skyfire was openly weeping now and doing nothing to hide it. She asked, “So what do I have to do to earn this pardon?”
Leaning forward in his chair, Gosling’s ears stood up straight as he replied, “You’re going to learn to be responsible. You’re going to get some self worth. You’re going to be straightened out by professionals.” He drew in a deep breath and held it for a moment before finishing what he had to say. “You’re going to join the guard.”
He heard two gasps from off to his left and then he heard Skyfire ask, “WHAT?”
A hard, gritty smile spread over Gosling’s muzzle. “You’re going to join the guard. Just like I did. You’re going to get counseling. You’re going to learn discipline. You’re going to find a sense of self worth. You’re going to learn a trade.”
“I can’t join the guard, I’m about to have a foal!” Skyfire protested.
Gosling’s smile now had teeth. “The guard offers nursery services for single mothers. The guard is actually one of the best places for a single teenage mother like yourself. You’ll get medical care, the foal will have caretakers, and you’ll be earning an honest paycheck.”
“But I don’t know even know if I’ll keep this foal,” Skyfire said as she shook her head at Gosling. She stared at him now, her eyes wide with disbelief as tears streamed down her cheeks.
“If you give the foal up, the cost of its care will be deducted from your wages. One way or another, you are going to be responsible for the life you created. You’ll be paying foal support.” Gosling’s smile vanished and his face became quite stern.
“But I don’t want to join the guard—”
“Do you want to face the consequences for what you have done?” Gosling asked. “Do you want your parents to pay for what you have done?”
The filly sniffled and a shudder went through her body. “Right now, my parents are disinheriting me so they’re no longer legally responsible for me or my actions.”
“All the more reason to join the guard.” Gosling’s voice softened a bit and became a lot less harsh. “Otherwise, all of this will fall upon your back. You have no idea what is about to happen because of all of this.”
“How long do I have to serve?” Skyfire asked.
“Twenty years,” Gosling replied without hesitation.
“Twenty years!” Skyfire’s eyes went wide. “Why so long? Why are you doing this?”
“After twenty years of service, you get a huge benefit package, a chance to retire, and all of your foals that you have get to attend college or university for free.” Gosling sat back in his chair and resettled himself until he was comfortable.
“I can’t do this… I can’t do this… I can’t do this and I can’t be a single mother—”
“Skyfire,” Gosling said in a coarse, hoarse voice, “my mother managed and you can too. I’m trying to make it easier for you, honest, I am. In the guard, you’ll have access to stuff my mother didn’t. You’ll have nursery care. You’ll have housing. They have special barracks just for single moms. You’ll learn a trade—”
“But I don’t want to be a soldier!” Skyfire whined.
“Then do something else. I became a telegraph operator. You could join the civilian corps of engineers. Surveyors. Cartographers. Become a nurse. File a pacifist’s writ and everything you’ll be offered will be non-combat.” As Gosling watched Skyfire, he saw something glimmer in her eyes. Interest. He began to feel a small spark of hope that she would see reason. “It’s rough, Skyfire, but I’m trying to give you the chance you need. When that foal is born, he or she is going to love you, and let’s face it, not many ponies are going to love you after this. But that little foal is going to love you, and it is going to be the most magical thing in your life. Give it a chance. I’m giving you this opportunity to make it work.”
Skyfire’s eyes narrowed and more tears rolled down her cheeks. “No combat?”
“Like I said, file a pacifist’s writ.” Gosling gave the filly sitting across from him an encouraging nod. “Somepony is going to love you and think that you are the greatest pony in the world. And you’re going to be able to give them twenty good years of life. They’ll grow up with housing, food, and if everything goes right, a mother that loves them. You’ll be able to send them to college. You’ll be able to give them a good life. But to get this pardon, to get this opportunity, you’re gonna have to serve.”
“This sounds awful,” Skyfire said in a low voice as she stared at Gosling with fearful, pleading eyes. “Why would you do something so awful to me?”
“Awful?” Gosling rolled his eyes and snorted. “Please. I joined the guard. I’m not doing anything to you that I wouldn’t do to myself.”
“Twenty years is a long time.” Skyfire closed her eyes and let out a whiny, nasal sigh.
“With the sort of fines you are facing and all of the other trouble, you could potentially be spending more than twenty years in a penal colony paying off your debts. They keep the wages low, you see, so ponies have to stay there longer. And you wouldn’t get to keep your foal, either.”
Now blinking, Skyfire looked horrified. She wrapped her wings around her body, giving herself a reassuring self-hug as she began to shiver with fear. She shook her head, not wanting to believe what Gosling had just said.
“Without your parents to absorb the legal blow, you will be held responsible for your actions and everything will fall upon you.” Gosling took a deep breath, held it for a moment, and felt the first hint of real queasiness. He held very still and waited for it to pass.
“Is prep camp hard?” Skyfire asked.
“It’s brutal, especially for pegasi. They expect a lot from us. There’ll be lots of wingups and physical training.” Gosling thought about his own time in prep camp as he stared at Skyfire. “Being a single mom will make it a little easier though. At the end of the day, instead of the common quarters barracks, you’ll get to go and spend the night with your foal. The downside is, the prep camp for single mothers lasts a full month longer to make up for the shorter twelve hour camp days.”
“Twelve hour days? What is regular prep camp like?” Skyfire asked.
Relaxing a little, Gosling felt better that he had her interest. “I had sixteen hour days. Sixteen hours on your hooves, eight hours in your rack. If you’re lucky. Sometimes, the sergeant would decide that we had a surplus of rack time and he’d make us go midnight marching while he screamed in our ears.”
“That’s awful.” Skyfire shook her head. “Why did you do that to yourself?”
“Because, I didn’t know what else to do with myself after dropping out of school because of what you did. I was real messed up. Thought about killing myself. Thought about it a whole lot. Came real close to doing it, too.” Gosling heard a soft, pained gasp from his left and he knew it was Celestia. He felt a stabbing ache in his guts and thought about how she would have found out sooner or later. “When I hit my lowest point, the morning after the longest night in my life, I decided to give my life away because I couldn’t trust myself anymore. I knew that if I didn’t do something to get myself some help, I was going to kill myself. I joined the guard. In the guard, I was able to get the help I needed.” He pointed over at Cadance with his hoof. “I got the counselling I needed to fix all the damage done and get my head screwed on straight after everything that happened.”
“I really am sorry, Gosling.” Skyfire squirmed in her chair.
“Sorry don’t always make it so,” Gosling replied. “I’ll tell you what. You do a year in the guard and then, and only then, you come and you can tell me how sorry you are. We’ll talk. I promise. I give you my good word. Drinks will be on me.”
“As much as I don’t like it, I can see what you are trying to do for me.” Skyfire sucked in a deep breath, held it for as long as she could, then let it out in a slow exhale. “Twenty years… that’s a long time.”
“It is, but you’ll be taken care of, isn’t that what you want? Isn’t that why you planned to con me into marriage? To be taken care of? To have a roof over your head, your meals provided for you, to have everything available? You’re getting that. You’re just going to have to work for it, that’s all. Don’t pass this by, Skyfire. If you turn down my offer, there will be no mercy shown. Your life will be over. You’ll have nothing good to live for.”
There was more throat clearing from Cadance and Gosling had to swallow more of his words. He wanted to drive home the importance of taking this opportunity. He was feeling thirsty and it was getting harder and harder to talk. Maybe it was better to save his words.
“Can I have some time to think about it?” Skyfire asked.
“Not sure what there is to think about, but okay,” Gosling replied. “The decision seems pretty straightforward to me. Say yes, and you’ll have a pretty decent life. At the end of twenty years, you’ll probably have a great life. Say no…” Gosling shrugged and said nothing else.
“I just want some time to think it over. To clear my head.” Skyfire’s gaze dropped down to the floor. “Thank you, Gosling… I don’t deserve this. If it’s okay, I’d like some time alone so I can think.”
“Then I guess we’re done here,” Gosling replied. His ears leaned forwards over his eyes and he gave Skyfire a pleading expression, even though she wasn’t looking at him. “Don’t pass this by, look, I know being a single mom is gonna be tough, but it’s worth it. Spend some time talking to my mother, okay? You can make this work. Just don’t give up.”
There was a faint creak as Cadance got up from where she was sitting and then she walked over as Skyfire stood up and stretched her legs. Saying nothing, Cadance escorted Skyfire out of the room, walking beside her, and slipping out of the door, leaving Celestia and Gosling alone in the room together.
As Gosling tried to sort out everything that had just taken place, Celestia got up and came over to stand beside his chair. He looked up at her and saw tears glimmering in her rose coloured eyes. She trembled, her ears twitched, and then, without warning, she moved with incredible speed.
A wing slapped Gosling across the muzzle and left behind a stinging sensation that made his eyes water. He blinked a few times in confusion, not knowing what had just happened, and he stared up at Celestia in stunned surprise.
“That’s for thinking about killing yourself,” Celestia said in a low voice as she folded her wing against her side. “Shame on you.”
“But… but I…” Gosling stammered, “but… but I hadn’t even met you yet. I didn’t know we would end up together. I was pretty messed up… look, I’m sorry, but you’re being unreasonable!”
“I am a mare that is madly in love with a foolish little colt! I’m allowed to be unreasonable if I feel like it! If you would have acted on that… that… that… selfish impulse, I would be alone… everything we have… everything I have hopes for… everything I want and dream about… and you… you almost took it all away!”
Gosling felt an icicle rammed through his heart when he saw the tears begin to trickle down Celestia’s cheeks. He felt awful and didn’t know what to say. As he sat there, still stunned, his own eyes still watering from the stinging slap, Celestia turned tail and walked out.
Spilling out of his chair, Gosling wobbled on his hooves as he went after her. “Wait!”
But Celestia did not wait.
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
7230790
Why? What?
too
Ooo, Gosling is good.
shouldn't goslings offer have included turning states witness on whom guided her to those decisions?
7230883
Celestia has already given Blueblood full permission to go after them,
7230887 hmmkay
Lol Skyfire rekt
7230883 well follow the money and they don't need that.. also that would be an easy out for her
7230998 i meant in addition to what gosling required of her
7231011
Be patient and wait. She has already made a statement to Blueblood.
The timeline of this story is starting to confuse me. I had assumed that Gosling had been a guard for a while, but now it seems he was just out of basic training essentially. Counseling with Cadance should have taken multiple months, if not longer, but it seems it was only a few weeks. Skyfire, it seems, is not even "showing" in her pregnancy, which compresses the time even further, if she was already pregnant when she was dating Gosling. So, everything that has happened to Gosling since they broke up has happened in about 2-3 months. Just does not seem long enough to me.
This is the most mature I've seen Gosling. He portrays himself as an adult with a good heart does.
And it was awesome.
Celestia on the other hand....clearly needs to sort some things out.
Why does everyone always forget that military has non-combat roles? To many people don't know this. Good on you kidz for highlighting that. My story question is just what job caught Skyfire's interest.
And im assuming the wingslap logic here is similar to the Chase, at least in pain.
7231031
It is stated that Skyfire has always had a few extra pounds on her, which probably is why she doesn't really show. Gosling got his counseling during all his training with Cadence and other therapists to put him back together. It takes less than a month for most pregnancy tests to show if someone is pregnant, and if she found out at the earliest time, it wouldn't take too long for her to get in a relationship with Gosling and move it along fast enough to try and get him to sleep with her. If we assume the time between becoming pregnant, finding out she is pregnant and trying to use her plan on Gosling is less than 2 months, it would be enough time to fake it being his. And then once all the shit went down he joins the guard and goes through training and therapy for several months which would at leave her 8-9 months pregnant, 10 at the most.
She is like Mrs.Cake; a mare with extra weight in all the right places. No one even guessed she was pregnant until after the fact with the Baby Cakes Episode and she still retains all the extra weight in all the right places.
Also, good to see you back on the horse, Kudz! A few days without an update, I was starting to get worried
7231078 and I'm going to assume kudz is using his usual 11 month gestation for ponies.
Which is quite reasonable. Humans are the weird ones with our short 9 months.
7231031 it states he's 15 doesn't it? Joined at 14, so he's been in for less than a year...
7231217
Horses have 11 month pregnancies.
7231031
2 to 3 months?
Wrong!
Lemme guess... you're thinking a human nine months gestation, right?
Everything adds up. Others have already pointed out the necessary details.
7231175
Other stories got updated.
7231015 alrighty
very strong and emotional chapter, i like
7231050 True that there's non combative jobs in the military forces, but that's still not an option for a pacifist.
At least, it wouldn't be for me personally. Because even when you have a desk job with the armed forces, you're still part of the military machine, which means you're still helping people murder people. Even being medical personnel, your job is to patch up soldiers so that they can be sent out to murder people.
7231685 I wouldn't say murder, the armies job is to maintain order and solve unrest, but remember Skyfire's issue is being a "soldier" not so much harming people.
Another tidbit: from my own research, IRL horses don't really show much adbominal swelling until rather late in the pregnancy. Given that she's already a little chubby, it might not be unreasonable for her to now show at all.
Also--I had a sudden, rather dark mental image that Skyfire's "thinking about it" might include a suicide attempt... I mean, Kudzu seems to take pleasure in subverting expectations, and, well...7231737
I left a clue in the author's note.
7231754
Gotcha--that didn't parse the first time around. Choosing to take that at face-ish-value...
7231720 I see why Skyfire has reservations about joining the armed forces, but I think it's more about her own comfort and safety than about harming others.
I know few people would agree with my calling military personnel murderers, the way that the western world and America in particular just LOVES people who are ordered to kill. And that is very obvious in this fandom as well. But I'm a pacifist.
The thing is, in my opinion at least, if you aim a weapon at another human being with the intent of killing them, you're a potential murderer. And only potentially until you actually pull the trigger. Usually murderers will be tried and convicted if they get caught, unless they wear a uniform and are given permission.
I know the ageold excuse of 'keeping the country and it's people safe' but that is only a valid excuse (and then even a very shakey one) in some cases, like defending against an invading army.
If, for instance, one *is* the invading army the excuse falls rather flat. You don't keep people safe by bombing villages or hospitals, or by torturing people because someone's suggested they might be up to something bad.
The difference between the 'good guys' and the 'bad guys' in any armed conflict is merely the effectiveness of the propaganda machine and how gullible the people at home are.
And in these times, the propaganda machine is very effective and the people very guillible.
Up to the point where people who are committing war crimes still think they are doing the right thing, and the people who order the war crimes to be committed are not put on trial bit are applauded for being so great.
Never forget, the nastiest, most inhumane monsters that WW2 brought out, wouldn't have been tried, but would have gotten a medal in their own country. And history keeps repeating.
There is no good guys and bad guys in a war, there's only bad guys.
It's not delivery it's digiorno!
7231868 that's what i said!
As for the military murder thing. I can say what you said is reasonable, mostly, and hey, that's your thought. I believe guns should really only be for hunting, the right to have em is a yes (why they have assualt rifles is beyond me). The army should only be for war, security and police should only draw arms should a weapon be brought on them.
And the "good guys"/"bad guys"? Its all perspective. Each side has their choice, and it's just nasty buisness.
Penal Colony? The Weedverse Equestria has a penal colony? Oh, that opens up some interesting story possibilities.
And I wonder just how smart/stupid Skyfire actually is. We know she's selfish and manipulative, but how intelligent really? we'll have to wait and see what she chooses to do.
7231944
Flim and Flam along with Belladonna got sent somewhere...
hope Celestia doesn't go overboard and leave because of this. Can't wait for the next chapter.
*record scratch*
You know, it rather sounds like a pretty good solution.
Found a typo. Shame on you.
And... Yikes, Celestia. A wing slap for a past thought that came with a(n arguably) good excuse seems a little silly. Oh well.
I like how Gosling's plan has her both working hard as discipline but also protects her and her child. It's a good balance.
I'm reading this on a ps3.
I'm reading this on a ps3.
7252645 *Claps slowly* best use of a ps3 ever.
I'm now imagining Skyfire as Ana from Overwatch. It does not even make any sense character-wise, but I can't stop.
Skyfire Flash, flying through the sky and sniping wounded ponies with her bionic rifle.
You know how Starlight was apparently sentenced to a lifetime of servitude to Twilight in exchange for her pardon?
NOT ANYMORE!
8026986
YouTube kilt your video!
I suffer from depression, and had various friends of mine commit suicide.
....saw the bit of Celestia calling Gosling selfish insulting, but go off I guess.
9517183
I was thinking the same thing. I was suicidal a few years back, and still have thoughts about it from time to time. There's nothing cowardly about it. It sucks, I hate it, but I've had to learn to live with it. Knowing who to talk to, and understanding the symptoms of an oncoming episode are things that I've had to learn, but I had to hit rock bottom before I realized that I needed help.
7231914
I thought it was dellissio?