Chapter 10 - The Egghead - (Unedited you're still here? ahhh POCKET SAND)
I stayed with Celestia for another ten minutes before she helped me up.
Luna walked into the training area shortly after, It's like she never sleeps. I was interrupted in my musings when a cup of what I assume to be a coffee cup cracks on the ground.
"What the BUCK Happened out here? How does one do this, It just that.. the craters," Luna's speech trails of into uninterpretable gibberish and now that I look around, I can't blame her, the entire training yard looks like someone killed the Hulks puppy in front of him. I caused all this... I guess it proves that I need to learn control all the more, the dirt has been scorched black and the sand pits for the obstacle course are nothing more than glass, there is a thin layer of a metal like substance coating the area, although I have no idea what that means.
Luna finally calms down and starts ordering the guards to clean the more hazardous debris such as the broken glass near the pedestrian footpath, Once everything seems to be in order she trots over to me. I feel really disappointed now, I let my anger get the better of me, I've have been in control over it for the past nineteen years before this little fiasco, perhaps Celestia's little student might be able to help me, as like Celestia said, her student had stress problems before, and I guess that translates somewhat into anger issues, guess I should stop bottling it up... It's for the best, no one wants to talk to an angry asshole, I know I wouldn't.
It took me about two days of work in five hour intervals to get the guards training area back into a somewhat useable field, I couldn't really undo the fact that I glassed the sand in the area but aside from that I was able to find out what that metal coating was, apparently it's the metal I vaporised, It turned into a gas before it cooled on the ground, I didn't even know metal could do that.
Now I'm sitting on my new obsidian bed, I can't have pillows as they burst into flames, even if they're enchanted with a heat-resistant charm they last a few minutes before the enchantment fails. Discord visited me after my little outburst, he confessed that he forced the anger I had bottled up to come to the front, said it wasn't healthy... And that I'm also entertaining, I guess he did have my mental health in mind and tried to help in a weird way.
But now that I have some time on my hands... Hooves, I find myself looking into a full body mirror I asked the maids to bring to me, what I see disgusts me. I'm some kind of bloody horse, I miss my old body, my old gender it's not fair, I'm not even sure why I thought obtaining samples from that volcano with no one to join me would be a good idea, I barely know where safe places to stand are.
Right, I wanted to impress them, for my own ego, heh, I guess I impressed them with my stupidity instead.
It's like I'm drifting, the face I see in the mirror isn't my own, but it responds to me. I think I should explore this place, this new world. If I can control my new curse I think I'll go to that Dragonlance place or perhaps griffonstone, Luna keeps going on about them.
"Rose" I heard a voice call out to me.
"Celestia is ready for your next magic lesson, I did knock by the way." The same voice continued, looking to my left I saw one of the few friendly maid/servant ponies, crescent sky, the head of the maid service, Luna told me that she is used to dealing with ambassadors of other nations so apparently she's fairly used to... Interesting creatures.
"Really? That's interesting I had a feeling that Celestia disliked me, perhaps I'm imagining things?" Sometimes I wonder if sarcasm has been invented in this world yet, I really wish I had someone that I actually enjoy being around to teach me magic.
"Would Luna be willing to teach me instead, she doesn't have that I'm better than you look on her face." Honestly, the way the maid reacted surprised me immesnsly. That deer in headlights look with a look of utter panic on her face, Truly it was hilarious but I actually needed answers, not a good laugh.
"How... How DARE you, Princess Celestia has been gracious enough to host a Demon in her own home and teach said demon how to control their powers. She may have a slight addiction to cake and I can attest that she is not perfect, but at least she doesn't blatantly ignore others lives, she may not like in fact I don't like you at all, but at least she has the certainty to try and befriend a monster like you." The maid ran out of breath and looked exhausted, I guess she does have a point, although now I need to find a new favorite maid.
"Alright, you have a point, I'll go," I announced to her. Waiting for a few seconds whilst she gained her bearings I secretly investigated the fact that while she may be uncomfortable in my presence she doesn't have a look of submission on her face. Unlike most ponies around here.
"Lead on, I don't think Celestia would like to be kept waiting," I've had enough of waiting around, for now, I'll assume that she either has magic or is just strong-willed. It is kinda refreshing though, being seen as an equal, she may not like me but at least she voices her opinion, unlike the other maids who usually run on sight.
"Right, follow, shut up and walk, I've had enough foalsitting today and I get a day off after this. I guess there is a good thing to you being here after all." Crescent said in response to my earlier remark, as she opened the gold inlaid door to the hallway, which to my utter enjoyment still has all of my hoofprints, otherwise known as holes in the carpet, Haha I can't get lost in this place now that I have a clear indication of where I've been. Next step, sit on that throne, sure may get me in trouble but I can't wait to blame the ass print in the golden base on Celestia, teach her to manipulate me... to be safe I'm gonna get discord to help my case if she blames me, knowing him he'll think it's funny.
"Crescent Sky, what did you mean I'm good for something, didn't you just say I was mooching off of Celestia's Kindness?" Honestly, it did surprise me that she thought something good of me after what she just told me.
"You scaring away the other castle servants may get me stuck with you, but I get to charge double my price while I serve you. aside from that yeah you are a mooch," Crescent Sky's voice was ice cold, she should so become a villain voice actor, with a voice like that she would inspire dread in even the coldest of hearts.
"Huh, a good of a reason as any, and for your information, I never wanted to even stay here, Celestia won't let me leave, and from what I saw in the throne room I don't want to find out what she would do. Did you know she can Literally reverse TIME, Insane I know but hey I saw it myself? Damn terrifying." Yeah, I am honestly terrified of Celestia, I don't respect her but I definitely fear her, that amount of power and a temper don't work well for my existence, as I have a healthy habit of pissing people off.
"Well, just don't get on her bad side, she is a good pony and has a good heart, you just have a habit of pissing ponies off. Good luck with that by the way, I get to go nowhere I'll get that door. Oh, and if you get bits you are so buying a new carpet." Crescent sky really doesn't like the fact that I clean the carpet on the atomic scale.
"Ah, no. Not my fault your carpets don't have plasma resistance. Honestly and you claim to be a good host." My drama voice needs more work, It's really not that good. I miss my old voice... my male voice, Whatever god decided to give me another chance to die in another fit of stupidity, You are the best and worst being ever. I wonder what mother is doing... She will be fine, she's a strong person.
"Well here we are, they're in there, now get in their and be quiet, I don't care what you think a good host should do but we don't have the time to fireproof the carpets, little own 'plasma' proof them, whatever that means. I'm going to go collect my paycheck, keep scaring the others away, cya." I did manage to hear what she said as she trotted away, didn't even wait to finish her sentence literally walked away as she was speaking... someone is eager.
I use my front left hoof, still glowing a steady orange as I focus on not burning anything if I don't focus it just turns completely white and is comparable to what I assume the temperature of plasma would be.
Pushing on the wooden door leaves a hoof-sized dent of burnt wood, still opens the door so... not my problem.
"You took your time... rose. I want you to meet my old student, Please introduce yourselves, she is going to teach you magic from now on, I can't take any more time away from the ruling, I trust that she can handle you." Celestia stated, she seems to be warming up to me I guess.
I look over to who Celestia was talking about and note that the pony is another alicorn with a purple coat and deep purple-blue mane with a magenta stripe.
"Ah, My name is Mark Rose, Ponies call me rose, and for some reason Celestia wanted me to make a nickname, so if you prefer you can also call me Solar Flare. Nice to meet you..." I offer my hoof out to shake her hoof, she looks at me expectantly, oh right hot hooves. putting it down I bow my head a little.
"Sorry about that, I would very much like to have my hooves intact. It's nice to meet you Flare. My names Twilight Sparkle, I will be helping you control your magic." Twilight smiled as she spoke as if she was remembering something fond.
Huh, so this is Twilight... I thought she would be taller.
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IT’S ALIVE!!!
8634692
Missing its legs so it's REALLY slow.
not to mention the bullet holes in its liver, second hardest working liver in the world.
Twas a great chapter hun, I look forward to the next
the cover art reminds me of "Flame Majesty" from piemations.. made me giggle :)
Here you can have a giggle :)
Normally, there must be a power source that supply this magic heat (plasma). It cannot be limitless, can it?
8634696
O3O
the chapter is longer or the time you took to write this chapter is longer?
8634705
... charming, but accurate.
As a side note, I looked at the statistics and in the first month, I released this story it achieved a total of 666 likes on the dot.
Isn't that a little ominous.
8634696
Who has the hardest working one?
8634798
Rick Sanchez
This story has a lot of potential. The grammar just needs a bit more attention, in my personal opinion. I'll likely come back to it after it's been worked over by an editor. <3
8634816
Thanks for the vote of confidence.
Huh? A displaced fic that actually interests me? Sweet!
8634725
Nah, she just scares the living daylights out of all the molecules that get near her so they start quivering like the pansies they are.
8634725
She is literally Celestia's Anger. So what do you think?
8634990
That Celestia made a half @ssed decision which went horribly wrong and keeps thinking that she can live without the full force of her emotions?
Outside from grammar issues and some minor logical holes (or maybe it's just me not being sober today) this fanfiction is really good. I can't wait to see continuation.
Though I kinda want to say that character being unsattisfied with his new gender really annoys me. But ha-ha it's better than having a male alicorn character.... *grumbles* stupid kids
OOOOOH And I reeeeeeaaaaaally envy our dear Rose. I for one would adore becoming a living fire. Plasma. Sun. Whatever.
Putting your story on tracking. You deserve that.
8634740
that's not a good sign. but i will read it anyway, just gotta finish the story i am currently reading first :)
8635016
Even worse she thinks she can get away with hating her dark side, doesn't that make it stronger?
Honesty for an abomination made out of Celestia Anger, our MC is quite well behaved.
Back from the dead I see.
8635436
yeah, some kids just kept poking the corpse with a stick, got it twitching for a while.
8634725
It heats up on the inside and flows to the surface were it cools of and flows back towards the middle making it impossible to solidify long enough to turn him to rock making an never-ending cycle
Pretty good so far
Gods Those ponies are rude... She's been pretty well behaved otherwise... Besides the Anger fiasco.
8636174
Yeah starting to get a little pissed at the ponies
I WILL READ THROUGH THE PAIN YOUR POCKET SAND WILL NOT STOP ME AHHHHHH
Nitpicks (not an exhaustive list)
period instead of comma (you capitalized It)
repetition of repetition (either "a cup of what I assume to be coffee" or "what I assume to be a coffee cup" or just "a coffee cup")
no capitalization on "happened"
semicolon or colon after "blame her", or period with a new sentence.
Hulk's
If this is meant as a list, you need "and" before "there is a...". If not, these should all be separated by periods, semicolons, or whatever else that isn't a comma (but the "...area, although..." is fine).
period
MY EYES
No one wants to talk to an angry asshole; I know I wouldn't.
guards'
another run on sentence consuming an entire paragraph.
Ironically, the one period you use here is wrong: "the same voice continued" needs to be appended to the dialogue with a comma, but the one after "service" is wrong.
In fact, every single paragraph after this one has at least one comma where a period or some other non-comma should be.
here
Oh wait, here's a paragraph with no grammatical errors that I can see.
name's
Shadow of Doubt used Sand Attack!
Kage's Safety Goggles prevented the attack!
So. Twilight is now in play. Gods help Rose, for the lectures shall last... FOREVER!
Good to see you continue the story
. It been a long while.
Hello?
*waiting for new chapter intensifies*
8785328
Surprisingly I have actually started writing it, Uni is a thing but it's really not the main thing in the way of me making more chapters but really it's more my motivation, I've slowly lost interest in mlp but I will still be slowly working on my fics.
So, ever thought of using Phoenix Down pillows?
8785451
Glad to hear it.
This sounds interesting. I'll follow.
For your next post on how procrastination is evil (with perhaps a chapter attached), have this:
Yes, that was actually played by laser.
Chapter Eleven is currently over 1000 words.
let alone
8802021
That's a Science for my ears.
REALLY!?
A mooch? That's rich, Celestia hates him and is keeping him prisoner, and isn't really helping things.
10271866
And considering her attitude is rubbing off on everyone but discord and Luna. She really needed to change her tune.
My god Crescent sky is so annoying he should just tell her to shut up or get lost.