"Celestia, I thought Luna was going to train me?" I speak out as I close the door with my hoof, slightly singeing the wood and earning a glare from the guard escorting me.
"You may leave us, thank you for escorting flare." Celestia chose to ignore my question, preferring to order the guard out of the room.
"Yes, Princess." The guard bowed and left quickly opening the door with his hoof, touching the same spot I myself used, he quickly removed his hoof with a curse muttered under his breath before leaving
"I.. I must apology Flare, I have not shown proper hospitality whereas luna has in spades, For that I realized that I should make amends, Do you accept?" Celestia said with trouble but from what I could tell it was honest.
"Ahh sure, why not." It's not like she killed my cat or something, just some dirty looks really.
"Thank you, as a show of promise I shall train you, as I have more experience with pyromancy," Celestia mentioned idly as she moved down from the throne to look me in the eyes, I in turn just wiggled my fire brows at her.
"Alright, what's first.?" Honestly, I have no clue what so ever on how to start, for obvious reasons.
"before we begin, I shall ask you a simple question when you answer it correctly we shall move on. What is fire." Celestia has that all 'I am holier than thou' look on her face, I detect bullshit, heh well I am a pretty good bullshitting things lets see how I do.
"Fire is energy, energy is life, energy is magic, energy is matter, therefore fire is everything and everything is fire, just in a different state." God, I hope those five-minute youtube science videos were right, and I also hope I remember them all.
"That was not what I expected but half right, energy is not matter but under the right circumstance it can be, I was expecting a much less scientific answer but since you at least understand the basics we shall move on to the next task, the first thing you must do is calm your mind, was you have done so search for your magic, it has a distinct feeling, so you should be able to find it quite easily." Celestia paced back and forth, as I calm my mind down, now that I think about it why are we even in the throne room, meh I'll as latter.
As I clear my thoughts I feel for my magic. There that feeling is what I felt when I arrived, fear, anger, loathing, greed. Wow, I do not think that is what I should have, I mean I think the greed is greed for more power, but I could be wrong.
"Um, Celestia?" She seemed very slightly annoyed but resumed her 'normal' look.
"Yes, Flare"
"I ah think I found it, but are you sure I should try and grab it." I think that's what she wants anyway, but hey I'm not the wizard here.
"Yes flare, to put it bluntly just try and grab it and bring it up to your horn, that should teach you channeling."
"Well, alright then" I sit down, on the red carpet floor as I constraint on moving my magic to my horn. But in doing so, I let the floodgate open, it keeps going and going, but all of the emotions I ignored and tried not to think about come to the forefront of my mind. Oh god, I- I don't even know how the hell this stuff happened, I mean I was just being stupid, I wanted to impress my friend, Oh- Oh my god I- I can't even remember his name anymore, Am I forgetting anything else? Holy Fucking shit, I'm not even a god damn man anymore, What was the point in dying if I just end up in Magical horse land, As a female HORSE, Just What the Fuck.
All of these thoughts pass through my head within a flash, then my horn does... something it looks like its sucking the light out of the room like inky shadows with red flames dotted through the aura of my horn, I feel so powerful right now, My hair is back to its full size, like when I got here, I wondered why it got shorter, Celestia seems to be panicking but I just want more, it- it feels nice actually after all those emotions they just disappeared, I want more, no I need more, The sun, Yes the sun, I call to it, It responds and sends more power, oh Oh~ that feels nice, where am I again, all I see is bright light, Oh God, yes~ The sun keeps giving me more and more, the input increases, suddenly it increases its magnitude by ten fold as a beam of pure fire bursts through the sealing hitting my body like a truck of pleasure if that's even a thing the power I feel right now, is god-like.
I'm snapped back into reality when I notice the Celestia has slapped me across the cheek, oh shit the throne room is well let just say, I left a nice ass print this time, OH right, I force the power back down into my body cutting the connection with the sun, I fall over, but I can still feel how the power of the sun is flowing through me.
"oh, what happened?" I moan out.
"What HAPPENED, WHAT HAPPENED." Celestia seems pissed off. not good.
"I look around, my hair is no longer fire, but what I could only assume is plasma, when I look up I can see a VERY big hole through the ceiling, luckily the throne room has no room above it.
"It, was an Accident?" Oh god, that was the wrong thing to say. Now that's new, Celestia raised her hoof to her chest and breathed out three times.
"Sorry, about that, you are unbelievably lucky, I made sure there was nopony around aside from myself, now tell me exactly what happened, and maybe I will help you rebuild the throne room BY HOOF."
"I don't know I just grabbed the magic like you said, I was nervous because it felt angry and just negative than I got kinda lost in the anger and then it kinda got euphoric and well you know the rest."
Celestia sighs, "I Guess it is partially my fault, I was training you like a regular unicorn, and not an alicorn of an unbelievable amount of power, nor do you know anything about how magic effects emotions, I shall help you repair this place, but I want you to train with luna, she is better at controlling her emotions, they seem to be directly linked to your magic, where my own has none." Celestia actually seemed to be sorry, like she understood what happened, I guess I judged her wrong.
"I'm really sorry, I should have resisted more, I've never experienced magic before, but how can we even repair something like this, I mean look at the place." I know that if this were in my old world, we would just smooth out what's left of the place and start again, but there is magic here so who knows?
"You seem to have excess power, so we shall do something that would be quite stupid to do on this scale, but with our combined powers it should be a like trotting through the forest. We shall use a repair spell, it is actually quite ingenious, all that must be done is before the object is destroyed you mark it with magic and then copy this mark onto something, such as this." She held her amulet up, the purple gem necklace thing.
"I have the entire city of canter lot marked on this amulet, it remembers the position of all the houses as of three months ago, including the throne room, all I have to do is this." she explains as her horn lights in a golden glow, and suddenly her gem creates a hologram of the original throne room around us, just outlines, golden outlines.
"woh, that is cool."
"Now this may be hard but I want you to focus on me and slowly channel magic, if you're up for it, and take it slow this time."
"Umm, I'd rather not, I don't feel confident" I state, yeah, I don't think I could resist that power in that state again.
"hmm, I shall take your point, but there shall be punishment, in the form of training, now let me constraint." Celestia paced around and soon her eyes, turn white and she raises into the air I can see all of the melted gold, stone and marble separating and forming back into the base structure filling the outlines and then from what I could only call reverse fire the banners and in the manner of minutes the throne room looks good as new.
"Wow. You are overpowered." That is all I can really say.
Op much.
Ok I'm confused. Is he female now or finally permanently male or is he changing back and forth?
7771852 no she is permanently female, help me out here, how did you get to this conclusion I myself have trouble writing clearly.
Why was my comment deleted?
7771872 no clue, i don't delete comments.
Tia OP, obsidian plz nerf......
H, no need for that comma after punishment, concentrate?
Pretty cool, or should I say hot?
That's not how it works. That's not how it works at all.
It cant be ..could the legends be true? A chapter here in fimfiction? TIS AN OMEN OF THE END TIMES
Well, guess that answers one burning question!
7772298
Energy is Mass
Mass is Energy
welcome to The 1st Theory of Relativity
7772618
FOR THE LOVE OF SEB!!!
7772298 duh, you do realise she is bullshiting, she even said so herself, I know how physics work and I can understand if someone where to cringe at that.
Energy is like water
And matter is like ice, they are similar but not the same, yet given the right situation they can be either.
That is a very basic explanation that covers very little.
7773180 that's not what was being stated though. Part of it, sure. But not it.
7773538 I get that, but this kind of stuff just gets my science boner at full mast. Also, that "water-ice" comparison isn't quite correct. Let me pull out a relevant quote:
TL;DR: Matter and Energy really aren’t in the same class and shouldn’t be paired in one’s mind.
7773836 I think I passed by that article at one point, but if I started using real physics in detail it would be quite confusing although if I get the point across I will use the correct terminology.
although energy is mass (in a sense), when mass travels fast enough, as a point taken here
yay overpowered pyromancy
7773968 Well, energy can be converted into mass and mass into energy. Still separate concepts though. Unlike ice, which is just a different arrangement of water molecules. By the way, fun fact: with a glass of extremely pure water you can actually cool the water far below freezing tempature without it becoming ice. If you were to then drop an object (or just some dust) into the water, it would quickly and near instantly freeze over.
Man, this concept is so god damn COOL (hot?) But jeez do I want more of this.
Hope you do more soon! Please do keep it up.
Celestia is being very rude to what's basically her daughter.
7775175
Uh quite obviously she doesn't view her as a daughter. From her view I'd say celestia sees a being born of her pure negative emotion with immense power at its disposal. That and I think this Celestia is kinda like twilight in planning and burny probably threw a wrench, or complications into whatever plans she has.
You uh, you need to edit a lot more.
What the hell did Celestia think was gonna happen?
If Solar Flare is supposedly your 'dark side', why the hell wouldn't you expect her to be filled with solid negatives?
Uh.... I'm having a lot of difficulty following through this story. Please, get a dedicated editor.
There are lots of comma and period errors as well as a few spelling errors. These were also present in the preceding chapters, and I have no doubt there may be more considering the state these were typed. I understand you are editing, but you need to not do the editing yourself. If however you are doing the editing with another person, you should probably get someone with fresher eyes. Usually I find that this helps me with my writings.
It's a great story and I like it a lot, but there is room for massive amounts of improvement.
Then again, I don't expect you to be done right now. Nobody should. Just some friendly constructive criticism.
Good luck in the rest of your writing!
No real noticeable difference in quality from chapter 1 to this one. I can't continue reading this, it's actually giving me a minor headache. Like I mentioned before, I like the idea and the concept, but the sheer lack of grammar and proper sentence structure is borderline painful at this point. At least to me.
They were not and also you didn't.
You need a beta. You leave out letters from words, or full words altogether or you use wrong terms.
But other than that nice job.
I'm in the same boat as 8308371, if the state of this and previous chapters is an indication of what I should expect from the rest of the fic (even after the supposed edits), I think this is where I exit.
I would also comment on the characterization of Celestia and Luna, but let's not get ahead of ourselves here.
8511798
I can understand your statement, I've never been good with Gramma but I'm always willing to improve, but lately I've been short on time, university and all that.
Other stories I've done have a few different perspectives, 'i remember you', 'a new type of evil' are to name a few.
If you're feeling ventures, tell me what you think of them.
YOU MIGHT HAVE GOTTEN THE BEST OF HIM TODAY PROCRASTINATION! BUT ANOTHER DAY PROCRASTINATION! ANOTHER DAY! YOU. WILL. FAIL!
Ceiling*
Heh