I'm roused from my rest by a continuous nudging I moaned and sat up... only to find myself face to face with a pony? Where am I? Oh Ohh Ohh shit that wasn't a dream, Oh great now the pony is giving me a funny look but as I rose to my full height it turned to slight fear... and was that awe?
"Umm, Hello" Man my voice is so cool sure it's girly but damn is it cool it has a very slight echo effect. I look around and notice that I now appear to be in a medical room of sorts.
"Oh, ah, no need to bow, I'm not royalty or anything, just wondering where I am is all" I mention idly as I look around the room and I can clearly see a few things that just don't make scene like that Pegasus napping on a cloud just outside my window... is he spying on me?
"Sorry for poking you miss," said the pure white pony in front of me.
"Don't worry about that, what's your name?" I asked it seems that talking to a nurse, well she is dressed like one.
"My name is Nurse Redheart I am Canterlot Castle's nurse in charge of you, how is your head feeling" she seemed to want to be somewhere else with the way she was looking back and forth between the door.
"I feel fine a little hungry, but fine none the less," I state as I stand up and to get a better look at the place. There is a pile of ash in the corner of the room and to the left of that there is a window with a Pegasus clad in (what I assume to be) gold armor, The floor is definitely polished marble while the walls are clearly painted stone.
"Well then my job's done, I am to tell you that the princess will be meeting with you soon for brunch." She said as she stealthily (not really) made her way to the exit. "Oh, and you're not to leave the room," she said as she practically ran out the door.
"What, I'm not that scary, am I?" Well, I guess I should wait...
...
...
"Yeah... fuck that, I'm gonna look around." I made my way to the door which happened to be open, but something caught my eye a mirror, I didn't notice before was next to the door, I noticed that my 'hair' was now no longer a massive billowing out of control fire like when I arrived but calmer and with a few flicks of fire emitting from the main body occasionally
"Damn, that is pretty cool," I think to myself as I make my way out of the room, only to bump into another pony. Well, I would guess horse because of the height. I mean, she is only a few inches shorter than me (not including horns... mine is longer)
"Hello, Mark. Come, we have much to discuss over brunch," Celestia ordered. And here I thought I could sneak out and look around. We did not speak at all on our way, she still has an aura of hostility towards me. I, however, do not know why... perhaps it is my good looks? Well, for a horse anyway... I miss my family, what would they say if they saw me now? Sure, we never got along, but they were still there... I mean what the french am I eve-
I am brought out of my musings when I bumped into a royal plot hole. Celestia’s, in this case.
"Pay attention next time, please. My sister is inside waiting for us, let us not keep her waiting," She still has that odd aura around her, a feeling of hate just emitted from her towards me, but I know not of what I did to deserve this.
"Do you have a problem with me, Celestia? Because your actions thus far have given me reason to think as such," damn I love speaking fancy, makes me feel just that tad bit better than who I talk to.
Celestia, however, ignores my question/barb and opens the door with her golden magic. Now that I take a look at the place, this castle is quite stunning. I mean, they use gold to decorate the door for Christ sake! it's all hand-made, well... hoof/magic made I guess, but none the less it made the area beautiful and less dull.
I think the highlight of my day this far, though, is that I have burned hoof prints directly through the castle carpet, there still smoking and scorched black. Haha, take that, Celestia! That is for hitting me with a goddamn war hammer! I really dislike her.
"Are you going to stand there until nightfall or are you going to join us at the table?" Luna stated, looking rather bored but energetic at the same time what with her constantly tapping her back leg to get rid of built-up energy.
"Oh, sure, give me a sec," Luna raised her eyebrow at this while Celestia shows indifference as I make my way to the table and sit down.
"Now then, you are undoubtedly hungry. We have already ordered waffle shaped pancakes for all of us, they shall here within ten minutes, now then let's get to business -" Before Luna could finish her sentence my pillow burst into flames, might as well make the best of it. I simply stood up turned three times on the spot and sat down once again this time however in place of a nice fluffy pillow is nice warm ash, I honestly don't know why but it feels more comfortable this way.
"Must you burn everything you touch?" Celestia's disapproving glare could burn through stone, good thing my skin is obsidian... I think.
"In case you haven't noticed, Celestia, I am, in fact, made of lava. Even my goddamn mane and tale are open flames. Even my eyebrows! Seriously, you must be blinder than most bats, even then that's an insult to bats," I show off my fire brows at her, she isn't impressed, But before she could retort Luna cut us off.
"Enough of this idle chatter. Mark, you are here to learn what we expect of you. Now, as you may not know this, I suggest you listen. For one we have no clue how you manifested a body for yourself. The fact that you have amnesia is more than likely caused by using large quantities of magic without warning. Only if my sister knew anything about it," Luna explained, towards the end, however, she sent a scolding glare at Celesta.
"I have no idea either sister, she truly is a mystery, even to myself," Celestia replied evenly
"Anyway, here are the rules that you will follow. Number one, You are not to leave the castle grounds. The staff knows of you but have been sworn to secrecy, Number two, You are not to take power from the sun, As you have practically no experience in containing it, you can't keep your passive power levels in check. Not only that but you could cause extensive damage to the castle itself and attract unwanted attention. Number three is more or less a task you must perform. Celestia has asked her star pupil to teach you how to contain your magic. She will be teleported here once a week for three hours total before going home, I shall teach you basic magic for mundane tasks after or just before night court. No-" *bang* Oh oh god that was hilarious a white dove (I assume) just flew directly at the clear window on the other side of the room hit and slid down with a squicking noise.
I couldn't help it I burst out laughing as well as luna, even Celestia giggled a tad bit, For once.
"At least you know that the window is clear," I snickered out as luna calmed down
"Well yes, whenever we have lunch here Clean Window and the rest of the castle washmare's can go a tad bit overboard," Celestia giggled a tad bit towards the end of her sentence
"Verily, do not worry about the birds, they usually fly off unharmed... aside from a minor headache," Luna got up and walked towards a door that led towards a kitchen.
"WHAT IS TAKING SO LONG, WE PUT THAT ORDER IN FIFTEEN MINUTES AGO" Luna screamed out in (what I assume is) the royal canterlot voice.
Without further prompting castle staff began scurrying around like wildfire shouting could be heard even from where I am seated, most of if not all of the shouting was either to get a move on or sorry princess.
"Your pan-waffle madame" A waiter was literally right next to me, how he got here so fast I have no clue, did I jump up five feet high? properly
"Jesus, where the hell did you come from?"
"My mother, madame," Wow this guy is thick.
"Umm... ok then," go way, just go away... finally.
"So, basically I'm in a gilded cage," My statement is just that a statement.
"Essentially, yes. Once you can control your power then you may leave the castle... Probably," probably was added on when Celestia cleared her throat before sipping some water.
"Fine, so what's first?" There is no way in hell I'm going to stay here, not with the glare giver, man she really hates me. Luna nudges her with her magic.
"You are to be escorted to a room for the rest of the day until you hear the bells toll, then meet me in the throne room for your first lesson in controlling your flames," Luna responded while she finished off her pan waffles. Guess I should try them, I simply face plant into the plate and get a mouthful of pan waffles, they actually taste nice even if they burn to ash in my mouth, surprisingly it still tastes good, but now the plate has melted, great.
"Well, when can I go somewhere without supervision?" Huh, I've made an indent in the marble floor in the shape of my ass, nice, now they know that this is my spot.
"Once you do not melt the floor then you shall be free to move around, for now, you shall be escorted to your new room," Luna said while motioning Celestia to follow, while I made to follow her.
Good Snip, feels a bit rushed but still good!
I hope to see her interactions with Twilight, it will be awesome!
7697894 I can see what you mean, I need to better my pacing doesn't help when I cant see more than one sentence at a time, using a phone is not optimal.
I wanted to say "also known as personality", but I'm not sure if that would fit here, even if Celestia with only being a saint would work more like a harmony puppet.
Well good chapter, not sure if it's rushed or not right now. I'm not completely sure if I'm honestly thinking what I was saying before, it was more like a random thoughz
It's "mane and tail", not "main and tale".
They have different meanings.
So, celestia and luna are hiding the fact that tia used soul magic.
7697927 Oh I know auto correct man, phones. Nuff said.
Grammar is certainly better now but some improvement is still needed
Well, it's nice to see you are working on this still
Have a hug
*hugs SoD*
i thought mark was a male pony, did that change?
Something I'd like to bring up with chapter 2, he thought he was female because he couldn't see his dick, yet chapter 1 he thought he was female because he felt something different around his backside.
And after establishing that he is in fact a he, the castle staff referred to him in the context of a her.
7698032 read the author's note on the third chapter and the title of the second chapter In more detail.
7698063
Mmk, gender confusion erasing aside, why is it that previously Celestia and Luna thought that Marks real name was strange and not an actual name but here, that's what they call her?
7698091 yeah, I redo a lot about the meeting but they still think mark is ridiculous but mark stands up for the name instead this time.
7698091
Not really gender confusion, remember the ponies has ONLY seen the Princesses, they have never seen a alicorn stallion. so it would be natural for them to assume that like the Princesses, he's also a female.
To be honest i was more amused with the fact he didnt realize he was still a he. The name issue is fine either way.
Not bad. The grammer is better than your other chapters when they started.
Hehehe, That pigeon bit!
this was an amazing chapter
Good chapter! Though this guy has no backbone whatsoever. I think I'd go crazy if I had to stay in a castle all the time while being the negative outlet for Tia's emotions.
7698330 I think the fact that he can't touch anything or anyone without it burning or melting would make him be relatively ok with the confinement at least until that ability is under control.
Thought it was funnier when he thought he was a female, but was actually a male. Also, love that Tia is a bitch towards him because she could not confront her dark side. Keep it up!
wut? and no keep him a he
I like him as a he, also FINALLY!!!!!
Now THIS is a story I can get behind!
Hey man if you want i could be your editor.
Ass marks everywhere.
Floor: Check
Wall:
Ceiling:
Window:
Bed:
Door:
Rock:
Tree:
Throne:
Other Throne:
Etc:
You have a list to fill.
He melted the marble floor into the shape of his hooves and ass.
See, this is why i love this story: no other author has ever considered writing little details like that!
You are original, and i cannot give you advice fir fear of breaking a good thing!
I'm not saying it's wrong, but it is hard to follow that the narrator is speaking up.
vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/chaotic/images/8/86/Magmon.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20110429204839
Just wondering what was the basis for deciding to change him to a her? O_o
i think the whole "she is actually a he" thing could have been a nice running joke for this story, but to each their own, still a good story though.
7698114
Originally the confusion was on Marks part, the ponies saw that he was a male right off the bat. It was Mark who thought that he was female. But rewrites are incoming so it's going to be a moot point soon.
7698107
Ah, that makes sense. I'm going to hold off on reading more until you finish the rewrites. Figure I can avoid further confusion that way.
Controlling fire magic? ...HA HECK NO M2 FLAMETHROWER STYLE IS BEST!
Silly Mark! Asked if his head is fine and says he's hungry. No Mark, your head must not be fine.
Ponies will be walking by and be like, "Dat butt though!"
Wait,wait,wait! Here is a childish question I must know!... Does Mark fart fire?
Dah flame thrower.
7702776 um i would assume so, he is lava and obsidian.
I really must agree with the other readers: Keep Solar Flare (Mark) male. Many of the emotions that form was wrought from are historically and psychologically predisposed to males; Wrath, guilt -in turn fueling anger- and the release of constraint is all things seen in most tyrants and warlords (of which most have been men)
7709816 lets just say I have killed with how bad my puns are.
For most of the chapter you kept putting capitals on words after a comma. No need for that, aye
your getting there albeit very slowly but at least your making progress.
unlike me whose grammer and speelling are getting worse if it werm't for spell cheack my sotruries would look something like this. just becuase i type so fast the computer can;t keep up with it. however there is the problem i just suck at writeing and my entire concept of the thing is flawed from the start.
but seriusly your moveing along faster than me over the course of a singular story and i'm waiting for future updates. still love the stories.
Can someone give me another story like this? Either where solar flare is a human-turned-pone or just comes back?
I don't know if you already plan to do this or not, but you mentioned in this story that his body is literally held together by dark, negative emotions. You need to use that to your advantage, a huge con to his personality and a balancing to his power level. He can become increasingly vulnerable to anger, frustration, rage, or even bloodlust... this can be used in your favor to choose a villain for the character, who in my opinion should be the mane six. They will see him getting out of control and attempt to use their orbital friendship cannon on him which will rip his physical form to shreds. As he becomes more and more enraged and quick to anger, he will eventually go on a rampage and kill a few ponies... after that... i dunno.
Just giving you ideas bro, i would hate to see this end with such a new and original idea.
i need a new chapter
7738047 I will try to get a new chapter in before the months end, I am a very busy person I work 30 hours a week while studying four days a week, although 'the meeting' did not go as I originally planed, as you may have noticed he knows some things he should not and I feel like I need him to interact with celly more, she is kinda a bitch in this story so far, and that is LITERALLY the exact opposite of her portrayed character. She will get better though, and more shall be explains but I feel as though I am missing some stuff from the previous chapter as it feels like this one did not smoothly transition into.
7738089 alright i'll wait good luck!
strange was a chapter posted before i noticed then deleted i say this on the top of a just updated list but there no new chapter
7740113 fixed that, remnants of the original chapter.
7744450 that is what I would be like as well, t'is what is going to happen.
7744820
i had a panic part in one of my stories but my pony was calmed by well warm soft cuddly. im guessing wont work here.... who needs a hu-ahagahg!?!
Just use pancakes instead, is less confusing.
You keep switching from the main character knowing the show to not knowing it, pick one. Either she doesn't know the show or she does. Personaly I prefer if she didn't but is your story and you are free to do whatever you want.