Adventure Muffin!

by Jake Witt

5: Do You Think You Have a CHOICE?!

*DING!*

You watch in confusion as you sit in a familiar tray in a familiar oven being pulled out by Pinkie Pie. The happy pony moved you to the counter before stopping.

"HEY~! Why is there a muffin where my sister's rock candy cupca-?"

You didn't let her finish. In break-neck, sonic boom-inducing speeds, you fly out of Sugarcube Corner. On your way out you knock out Rainbow Dash, drop some stolen bits from hammerspace, and force Derpy into the TARDIS with you.

"You accidentally killed Ditzy Doo."

GAME O-

You revive Derpy as she screams and begins to glow.

"You just broke time and space. You monster! Dost thou not care-"

You patch the paradox by making sure your initial bake was after you were ordered to be made and created a complex and stupid time bubble around both versions of yourself and Derpys, thus making your respawn unnoticeable.

Your time bubble pops as you recall driving a rock through Our Town.

"Aha! Now you must make a choice!"

> Ignore
> Ignore
> Ignore

"I am confused, indeed."

Derpy disappears from your grasp as you return from where you left off, hovering over the banana nut muffin as it finishes eating the old you, growing twice its original size. Next to it is baby Tick Tock, clearly injured.

You proclaim a very loud, cliche line.

Banana nut turns towards you. It asks you a question- nay- Makes a statement that chills you to your core.

You respond with a comment about its mother.

There's some silence before banana nut muffin states that we don't have mothers... But it is still clearly offended.

You turn into an iron muffin, ramming into the nut before returning to normal and fired a couple blueberry lasers.

It gives a perverted response.

Your reaction is distraction enough for it to punch you through a wall. How will you counter-

The time for choice has been denied again as the hole in the wall closes into a metal Derpy head that tries to eat you. You are strong enough to keep the smiling maw filled with razor sharp teeth from closing. You shout out your displeasure and curse the savage muffin in the other room.

The mouth stops trying to close as every inch of wall visible outside of the metal mouth was filled with derped pony heads, mumbling or drooling around each other. One common word on their lips: "Muffin."

Suddenly, their eyes glowed as they spoke in sync, "But you are the last muffin in the DERPIS, are you not?"

DERPIS?

"Derpy Everywhere... uh..." she paused, the voices mixed in whispers before continuing, "'Round Places In Space!"

You are among the two last muffins, but you are a <something special> muffin!

"You will be called the Magic Muffin!"

You reinstate that you name is Blurry, Adventure Muffin, or some other name.

"YOU ARE MAGIC MUFFIN!" The Derpy head's inside morphed into a visible throat before using enough wind to launch you out, barreling into Banana Nut, who swiftly dodged a Derpy head that formed back into normal ground. "All muffins will be devou... devon...? Eat all the muffins!"

"Eat! Eat! Eat! Eat! Eat!"

"Devour the muffins! The muffins must be devoured! Devour! Devour! Exterminate! Devour!"

The floor morphed into strange angular ponies and bumpy... um... we're not saying that... things with three stick, two with plunger-like ends.

You fly up, enjoying your achievement of flight as Banana Nut constantly avoided the figures. Since these things are attached to the floor, they can't jump! You dodge a hoof as you learn: they're on the ceiling and walls!

Banana Nut jumps high enough to force you into a Derpy mouth as it makes its escape through the hall of derp, doom, and death- Wait. You are immortal- with a respawn point in Pinkie's oven- and this muffin might be the beginning of a living muffin civilization.

Any choices this story tried to convey is once again interrupted... for now.

NEXT?

Comments

[Admiral_Gravleos]

Just saw this randomly started to just read the latest chapter. :) Muffiny MMM