And How Would It Be With Our Souls?

by QS

When We Meet In That Spirit Land

It is night.

Rainbow Dash is asleep, and Sweetie Belle has left. The moon has just risen above the roofline, and it looks larger and clearer than normal. I am still awake, though it is more because of reminiscences than any fear that I will never wake up.

A strange presence seems to fill the room. I feel my heart beating faster for a moment before recognition begins to dawn on me. Just then, the presence begins gathering into one place, coalescing into a physical form at the foot of my bed.

He is mismatched all up and down his contorted, elongated body. But despite his strange appearance, he is very familiar to me.

“Good evening. Fluttershy.”

“Hello, Discord.” I smile. “Thank you for visiting.”

“You’re most welcome, dear. But you must excuse me for not having come earlier.”

“That’s all right. I’m glad you’re here.”

Discord slinks up beside me. “Though perhaps that is beside the point. Why is a mare like you still awake at this hour?”

“Oh, just… reminiscing about things.”

In one smooth motion, Discord takes the letter from my nightstand. “Might it have something to do with this, hmm?”

I almost want to reach out to take the letter back, but I keep my composure.

“Discord, that’s…”

“Nonono, don’t tell me.” He holds the envelope against his forehead, eyes closed. Mumbling faint nonsense for a few seconds, he snaps his eyes open. “It’s about… Rarity!”

My eyes go wide. “Discord, how did you—”

“I’ve more ways of knowing than a pony, dear Fluttershy.” He winked at me. “No worries, for your secret is safe with me.”

I am more flustered at my own embarrassment than anything else. Though he’s become much more mellow, Discord is still a trickster.

“How… how long have you known?”

“Very. In fact, it didn’t take me more than a year to figure out for myself.”

I let out the breath I didn’t realize I was holding. “... Thank you for keeping my secret.”

“Think nothing of it, dear. Though I honestly believe there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Thinking of love as a possessive thing is a silly notion; being intangible, there should be no limits for love. I’ve even heard some say love is never wrong.”

“Do you think so?”

“Well, I’m not here to debate the nature of love with you. But it is an idea worth thinking about.”

“Mm.”

I lie back down, contemplating Discord’s words. Silence settles on the room, interrupted only by Rainbow Dash’s soft snoring.

“Well, I shan’t interrupt your meditation on love, life, and the nature of the universe.” Discord announces after several minutes. “I’m glad I’ve had a chance to see you, uninterrupted. I may or may not return in the near future, so until then, ciao, Fluttershy.”

“Discord, wait!” I call out, making him turn around back to me.

“Yes?” He smiles his usual smile.

If anyone would know things living creatures would not know, it would be Discord.

“I have a question…”

“Ask away, Fluttershy dear.”

“... Is there an afterlife?”

Discord grows very still. His smile fades away, replaced with a rare look of earnest sincerity.

“Oh, Fluttershy.” He intones. “I’m afraid that knowledge is beyond even me.”

“... Why?”

“While I’m not alive in a way that you would understand the concept, I am alive. I’m not dead, and have never died. In fact, I don’t think I would die in a way as you understand it, either. I’ve never crossed that boundary, and what lies beyond is a mystery to all of us.”

“Oh.” I sigh, trying not to let my disappointment show.

We are both quiet, and a somber mood fills the air between us.

“You shouldn’t lose hope, Fluttershy.” Discord places his paw on my shoulder. “If any of the common myths about death is true, death will never wrong you when your time comes. And as you know, even myths and legends always have a core of truth to them.”

“Thank you.”

“I’m inclined to believe he will treat you just as kindly as you tended to the sick and dying in your life.”

“Thank you. Do you… do you think I will have a chance to meet Rarity again?”

“I don’t know if you will.” Discord looks into my eyes. “But I believe you will.”

Looking into Discord’s eyes, I feel a serene calm wash over me. I begin to feel like I can believe it as well.

Will I meet Rarity on the other side, and would we have a chance to make things right, do right by her, me, Golden Fleece, everyone? I do not know, but there’s only one way to find out.

“Thank you, Discord. I think I’m ready to sleep now.”

He lets me go. “Good night, Fluttershy.”

“Good night, Discord.”

With a smile, Discord waves goodbye, dissipating into thin air and leaving behind only the night sky in the window. With one last look at where he was standing, I close my eyes.

Comments

[QS]

7113152

I hope I didn't completely telegraph the ending.

[Ice Star]

This is a really amazing story.

Wow.

Just... everything was done right. It really was. Thank you for this tale and I hope you write more in the future.

[QS]

7873407

Thank you for your support.

My job's keeping me real busy these days, but writing is still something I keep on my mind. There are always stories worth telling.

As for this particular story, in hindsight it's not as solid as it could have been. I hit the crucial scenes and the right emotional notes, but it could have been better assembled. Perhaps at some point I'll rewrite this and make it into a full-length work.

[Ice Star]

7920648 You're welcome! However, I would actually advise against rewriting it - just my two bits - but this is already an outstanding tale. I was surprised you managed to put so much in so few words. If you do feel a rewrite would be better... go for it!

[QS]

7921415
I believe I'll follow your advice.

I've had some time organizing my thoughts. The viewpoint that this story requires a rewrite is based on a very sound argument--as a love story, this story is quite shoddy. Most critically, there's no build-up whatsoever to Fluttershy falling for Rarity. Fans of the pairing will roll with it just fine, but for the neutral reader, there needs to be something to convince them. (This, more than any other reason, is likely why EqD rejected this story.)

I would like to argue, however, that at its core, this is not a love story. This is a story about dealing with death. Love is merely a crucial, though ultimately tangential, part of it.

When I set out to write this story, my main aim was to see if I could write about death in a dignified and respectful manner, exploring the emotions going through the minds of the dying and the grieving, without making it overwrought. In this regard I'd like to think I have succeeded.

With this objective accomplished, there's no reason (as of this moment) to rewrite this story.

Much thanks to you for your support. I hope I will be seeing you around.

[Starlight Nova]

And how does Discord feel about this?

[QS]

8933498
About Fluttershy dying or about her loving Rarity?