2: The Town
Chapter Two
The Town
That night, I dreamed.
It began innocently enough, the memory of Joy walking down the street with me playing back in my mind. We had been trading the tales of our lives on our way to Berry's, having a truly good time, when everything took a turn for the worse. Something about me felt… off, fundamentally wrong. I caught sight of my reflection in a window and immediately realized what it was. My wings were receding into my body, shriveling like grapes left in the sun as the feathers sloughed off and drifted to the ground.
Joy seemed to notice none of this, and she continued with her story as if nothing was happening. As my wings atrophied before my very eyes, I felt my hooves cracking and splitting, breaking apart into several segments that remained attached to the nub that was once my hoof. My legs had begun to pop and crunch in a sickening manner as the bones seemed to melt away and reform in different ways. With a sudden motion that drove me to the ground, my legs violently contracted and expanded with a horrendous grinding sensation.
I cried out to Joy for help, but she seemed not to hear me. My wings had disappeared entirely, my hooves had split, my legs had destroyed and reformed themselves completely, and my coat had begun to fall away in large tufts. All I could think was that this was how I met my end. This was how I died. I was obviously being afflicted by some horrible plague, one whose most disconcerting effect was rendering me mute, unable to call for help. I had never been so alone and so close to another being at the same time.
And just like that, it ended. Still weary from the pain, my eyes finally began to refocus as my anatomy ceased to rearrange itself. I sat back and ran my fingers through my hair, trying to gather my mind after the ordeal.
Wait.
Fingers.
Shit.
I lowered my hand to my face and the evidence was as inescapable as the fleshy digits waving in front of me. Somehow, I had been returned to my human form, in all of its dubious glory. Yet I was still on the side of the main road in Ponyville, a fact that seemed incongruous with everything that had just happened. Why had I not been torn from this world and returned to my own? How was I going to justify my strange appearance to everypony, to Joy?
Fortunately, the universe was not going to let me suffer through the indignity of explaining my current physical form to the inhabitants of this town. The sky was cleaved by a flash of light, and a moment later the constellations were pulled aside as if by an enormous zipper. A great chasm of fire opened in the sky. The roof of the world was rent asunder by an abyss so black it seemed to consume all light, the hellish maw ringed by an inferno of emerald flame.
The sight was so terrible it froze me to the spot, utterly immobilized under the weight of the horror it inspired in me. My eyes were locked not onto the emerald flames but rather onto the immaculate darkness. As I stared into the abyss, it stared into me, into my very soul. I became aware of a peculiar feeling, as if there was something nibbling around the edges of my mind, threatening to swallow it up.
The abyss above beckoned me with unspoken promises, a whispering madness that consumed my being. It was as if countless souls screamed in terror from across the gulf of time, witness to some unfathomable horror that spoke blackness to the soul.
From the depths of the abyss I somehow detected the movement of a shadow upon blackness. What form this shape was, I could not say. My eyes refused to focus upon it, lest the sight rob me of what little sanity I yet possessed. What I could discern was almost beyond description: it was simply beyond the scope of language to convey the immensity of this being.
From the abyss reached the arm of an eldritch terror, the size of which was beyond fathom. The whole of the town could rest in its palm with room to spare. The appendage appeared to be descending in slow motion, a trick caused by the scale of it. As it drew to within a kilometer or so of the ground, I could make out that the appendage was blanketed in obsidian scales, even the smallest of them was an acre square if it was an inch.
From within the abyss there came a glimmer of light, and it was because of this glimmer that I was able to finally grasp what this being was. This creature was a Dragon, and it must have been as old as time itself. Things began to click into place as I realized the nature of the beast. The emerald inferno that ringed the chasm was the exact same shade as the absinthe I had partaken in on that fateful night. The voice in the abyss must have been the voice of this creature.
The arm of the Elder Dragon drew nearer, and it blotted out the stars. I knew that it was coming for me, to return me to my own world, and that I could not possibly escape. My time in Equestria had come to an end, almost as soon as it had started. The closeness of the arm was betrayed by the rush of air preceding it, as the massive limb displaced the atmosphere ahead of it.
The gusts quickly built to hurricane strength, and yet I was rooted to the spot as if by concrete. The surrounding buildings were not so lucky though, and all around me there rose the tinkle of shattering glass and the creak of stressed wooden timbers. Several buildings collapsed under the strain, their debris setting off a chain reaction; in a matter of seconds Ponyville had been reduced to rubble under the onslaught.
In the heart of the chaos, with hurricane force winds whipping all around and debris filling the air, there stood Joy; untouched and oblivious. She locked eyes with me, seemingly unaware of the terrible cacophony of wind that rose around us. And just like that, she was gone. In her place was a tremendous obsidian claw that had buried itself an untold depth into the earth. The digits of the unfathomable creature closed in around me, forming a forest of claws that slowly ensnared me. I was grasped with a surprising gentleness, yet could not refrain from screaming in pain. Where the digits touched me appeared to burn with the fire of a thousand stars, the flesh seemed to melt from my bones at the contact.
My world exploded in red waves of pain which intermingled with the emerald inferno, painting the landscape of my mind in a hellish parody of the winter holidays. My lungs burned from screaming, but I was powerless to stop. Vaguely I registered the sensation of being lifted off of the ground, knowing that I was going to return to my own world; that world full of hatred, spite, and bad memories. I just wished that I could’ve seen Joy one last time, just to let her know what a great pony she was.
Without warning, I was bathed in a warm white light that filled my senses, obliterating the claw forest that had enveloped me. Though the appendages dissipated in the light, the pain did not; I was still wracked by the burning sensation, though it was now confined to my chest. Out of the haze, there rose a voice that was familiar, despite the clear note of panic that permeated it.
"Dave! Dave, are you okay?"
Joy. It was Joy who was speaking to me. This was not possible, for I had seen her being smote by a creature from beyond the stars… or so I thought. The grip of the night terror weakened, and everything came down around me. It was a dream… just a dream.
All I wanted to do was reach out and touch her, to be reassured by the feel of her hoof against mine. I tried and failed to call out to her; it was all I could do to suppress the screams of agony into a drawn out growl. Blinded as I was by the luminous white haze that had replaced the obsidian forest, I could sense that she was near. I felt a hoof being pressed against my head, and a cooling sensation began to wrap around my chest, driving away the worst of the pain and replacing it with a tingly coolness.
From the midst of the haze, Joy's voice rose again like a beacon of hope. "Dave! Please, speak to me. Where do you hurt? Are you having trouble breathing?"
In my mind, I registered that I could not breathe deeply, each attempt being met by a flash of debilitating pain. I tried to speak. "J… Joy."
It had taken all of my strength to utter that one word, and yet it was the single most wonderful sound I had ever made. The nightmare induced paralysis and muteness had begun to wear off and somewhere inside me, a pony was jumping for joy. My heart threatened to leap from my chest each time Joy spoke up, and this next time was no exception. "Dave? Hang in there; I'm going to give you something for the pain."
I heard the sound of somepony rustling through a bag of some sort a short distance away, followed by a couple hoofsteps and a sharp jab in my chest.
A jab in the same damn spot I’d gotten a pair of shots earlier that day. I tell you what; I was really beginning to hate needles at this point.
Bickering aside, I immediately felt a cooling sensation spreading from the injection site, like ripples in a pond. With a great, shuddering exhalation, I released a breath I hadn't known I was holding. As the luminous haze blanketing my mind began to clear, I began to make out familiar details of my surroundings.
A coffee table, just below the edge of the bed on which I laid, still held the remnants of a Berry’s smoothie. Just to the right of the table was a pair of saddlebags which sat askew, seemingly deposited in a hurry. The single thing that sent the reality of the situation crashing home was the vase sitting on the end table: a single, strikingly blue flower was perched in its crystalline grasp.
As my gaze registered the sight of the flower in all its azure glory, it was suddenly eclipsed by a pair of identically hued orbs, widened by worry. "Hey…how are you feeling now?"
The weight on my chest had slowly faded as had the fog; I felt as if I was surfacing from the depths of the ocean and had suddenly broken the surface. Everything seemed sharper than ever, each color more vivid than ever. At the center of my field of view was Nurse Joy, the single most beautiful sight I could have ever hoped to see, seemingly radiant in the soft light.
I took a deep breath to calm my nerves before replying. "I… much better, now that you are here."
Joy exhaled deeply, releasing the breath she had been holding, as well as a knot of tension that had settled in her gut. "Oh, thank Celestia. I thought you were dying, the way you were screaming. What happened to you?"
"I think the pain medication wore off while I was sleeping, and the pain hit me all at once. That, and I had a terrible nightmare."
"I thought the medication might wear off, but I was hoping you would sleep through it. And as for the nightmare, it must have been horrible; you were thrashing like you were on fire."
I barely stifled a shiver at the memory of the dream… it was more real than any other dream I had ever dreamt. I didn't want to show her how deeply this had shaken me, so I put on a façade of nonchalance as I replied.
"Eh… you aren't that far from the truth. I'll tell you in the morning… I feel bad enough for waking you up like this, I couldn't possibly keep you up any longer by telling you this silly dream of mine."
"It's quite alright, Dave. I don't think I could get back to sleep after that ruckus anyways."
Hearing this, I hung my head in shame. Not only was I embarrassed for screaming like that in the midst of a nightmare, I was positively mortified that I had awoken this mare and sent her into a panic on my behalf. Seeing this, Joy was quick to reassure me… or try to, at least.
"Hey Dave, don't worry about it. I'm a light sleeper, and I only panicked a little when I heard you screaming in pain."
I hung my head even lower, trying valiantly to hide my embarrassed blush. I failed miserably. At length, I spoke up to reassure Joy that I would be fine, and that she could go back to bed.
"You don't have to stay awake on my behalf… I'm pretty sure I won't be getting back to sleep tonight. At least one of us should get some beauty sleep, though I dare say you need it far less than I."
At this, Joy blushed. Honestly, I've never seen anypony flush so much over such small compliments before. Still sporting rosy cheeks, she spoke up.
"Oh, come on now. We both know that I look a fright right now. I'm afraid to contemplate what my mane looks like at the moment."
Casting a glance at the aforementioned mane, I couldn't help but grin. It was tousled a bit compared to the well groomed mane I had seen earlier, but it was just so damn adorable. It simultaneously gave her a devil-may-care sort of look crossed with an "I just did something naughty in bed" look. Not noticing my stare, she continued.
"You, on the other hoof, look like a million bits. I wish I could look that good when I roll out of bed in the morning."
I responded with a slight blush and a hasty reply. "I dunno what you are talking about. You are sporting the single most adorable case of bed-head I've ever seen."
Joy responded by throwing her hooves over her mane in a protective fashion and telekinetically chucking a pillow at my head. I never saw it coming. The next thing I knew I had moved from a sitting position to a reclining one, spitting out a loose feather. I quickly ascertained what had happened, a conclusion that was confirmed by the mare laughing her flanks off at the foot of the bed. Seizing the opportunity and utilizing the element of surprise, I launched a counter attack, the down-filled missile sailing through the air and impacting its target perfectly.
Joy's laughter was cut short with a soft whoomp, as the unanticipated impact of a feathery projectile struck her square on her nose. The collision sent her sprawling onto her back with a look of surprise etched on her face. Oh, what I would have given for a camera right then…
Next thing you know, there are pillows flying back and forth. Despite being entirely outgunned by this unicorn and her cheating telekinesis, I still managed to hold my own. I threw a pillow and then another immediately after it, using the first one to hide the second. Joy knocked the first one aside with a wave of magic, only to be struck by the second. Using this instant of distraction, I launched myself across the couch, pinning her forelegs with my hooves and her rear legs with mine.
Joy was pinned to the couch on her back, looking up at me as I gloated in my moment of victory. She was looking up at me with a curious smile, one that seemed to mix trepidation and anticipation. This struck me as quite odd for a moment, before it dawned on me what it was she might be smiling at me about.
I was pinning her in such a way that she could not move her arms nor her legs, the latter of which were splayed wide by the way in which I pinned her. The position was… suggestive, to say the least. I felt a familiar warmth growing in a very personal area, and I damn near jumped off of her, trying to get myself under control. I lay down next to her as nonchalantly as I could, attempting to cover a certain area by crossing my legs. I willed this growing feeling to go away with everything I had. Joy looked at me with something akin to disappointment for a moment, before releasing a deep sigh and looking resigned. I got myself under control after a good deal of effort, and managed an uneasy smile.
"Heh… I win."
Joy regarded me with a funny look for a second, before raising one eyebrow in a suggestive manner and replying "So you did… now, what shall be your prize?"
She all but purred the last word, re-igniting that warm sensation I had just quelled. Dammit. Why couldn't this be easy? I thought of a reply as quickly as I could under the circumstances, discarding more than a few ideas that seemed to come from a smaller head than the one I usually thought with.
"Hmmm… for my prize… I shall claim a kiss from the fair maiden."
Joy made a great show of looking around, behind, above, and under herself before pointing a hoof at her chest and saying "Me?"
I simply nodded, and punctuated the gesture with a wink. Joy turned a bit scarlet at this, and began to chew her lip again. I adopted my Game Face™ once again, and raised my eyebrow in a challenging expression. Joy rose to the challenge, pressing her lips firmly against mine. I kissed back, and before I knew it, she was pushing the kiss, a quiet desperation apparent in her actions. She kissed me harder, pushing me onto my back as she climbed on top of my supine form. Alarm bells began to ring feverishly in my head, alerting me that this was going in a certain direction, one that I was not sure I wanted to go just yet. I placed a hoof on her chest and gently pushed her away, breaking the kiss.
She immediately tried to re-initiate the kiss, but my hoof held her just out of reach of my lips. At first she looked confused, but this quickly faded to an expression of hurt. Her shoulders slumped as she exhaled deeply, all of her energy seemingly departing at once. Though she was still in a straddling position, the spark of the moment had vanished, leaving an awkward silence in its place. She had begun to apologize, but I cut her off with a hoof gently pressed to her lips as I began to speak.
"Shhh… Don't apologize, Joy. You've done nothing wrong. It's just… I don't feel like this is right. It's too soon. "
Joy seemed to physically deflate, becoming a smaller, frailer version of herself. She spoke up in hushed tones barely above a whisper, remorse and regret heavy in her voice.
"I… I'm sorry. I can only imagine what you think of me now… I'm not like that, I swear… it's just… you're so sweet, and I got caught up in the moment, and… I… I'm so sorry…"
I quietly shushed her, reaching up and pulling her towards me while rotating my body so that we ended up on our sides in a close embrace, lying face to face. It seemed a lot less awkward this way. I spoke up.
"Don't worry about it, Joy. I think nothing but the best of you; after all, you have been nothing but wonderful to me since we first met. I just think that maybe we are moving too quickly, and I'm afraid you'll get hurt. I… I just want to take things slow. Let's not rush, okay?"
Joy sniffled a bit at this, apparently on the verge of tears. Her voice cracked as she responded.
"I… I feel… dirty. Not because of you, don't even think that for a second. It's just that… I've never been around anypony who is as nice as you, or as sweet, or funny… everypony knows my mom, Nurse Redheart, and they avoid me like the plague.”
This caught me off guard. “Why is that? Why do they avoid her?”
Jpy looked at me for a second before averting her eyes, staring off into the middle distance as she relayed the tale. “When my mom first came to Ponyville, she was a nurse fresh out of school, looking to make a career for herself. Every day she gave her all to earn the trust of the townsfolk, to make a name for herself as dedicated medic.”
“And it almost worked too… but after a few weeks at the clinic, she gets a really ornery stallion as a patient. He had a simple case of heat cramps, easy enough to treat. Give the patient an IV to get their fluids up, keep them out of the sun for a bit, and they will be right as rain in no time. The patient, however, had other ideas."
"He was constantly making degrading remarks to her, telling her he wanted a male doctor, not this incompetent female nurse. It really got to her because she took such pride in her skills and knowledge, and she got sloppy under the pressure. While she was changing his IV, she accidentally introduced an air bubble into the line. In a few minutes, he was in a downward spiral and his vitals were crashing. The surgeons got him to the ICU just in time to save his miserable life."
"The air bubble in his blood traveled to his lungs, causing a pulmonary embolism: an air bubble in the lungs. It nearly killed him. Though she was proven innocent by an investigation, there was a nasty rumor that she had done it on purpose. And while sensible ponies could clearly see that it was an accident, the more ignorant of the townsfolk held on to the idea that it was intentional. To this day, colts want nothing to do with me, for fear of what my mother might do if they cross her."
"It's really saddening to see that after all this time, that one mistake is still haunting her. Why do you think she never became a doctor? She is more than qualified for the position, but every time her packet goes to the board for review, it gets rejected for some asinine reason or another. It's heart breaking… she’s one of the sweetest, most caring mares you'll ever meet, and a really good nurse besides."
I thought about this for a moment more. It quite neatly explained why Joy had been so… forward. She had rarely had a stallion show interest in her before, and must have been overcompensating. I could only imagine the seclusion she must have felt all those years, being shunned by the ones she pursued. I thought for a second before replying.
"Well, I guess that explains a good deal. If your mother is as sweet as you make her out to be, I can clearly see where you get your diabetes-inducing personality from. It's hereditary."
Joy once again turned a shade of scarlet and gave me a quick, unapologetic peck on the lips. "Dave, you are simply too sweet to be real. What are you made of, sugar?"
I shrugged. "I don't know about sugar, but I do believe I am about twenty percent weapons-grade awesomeness."
Despite the previous awkwardness, Joy relished in a hearty laugh. We stayed locked in the embrace for a long time, and Joy drifted off to sleep in my arms. I had begun to drift off as well in spite of my earlier nightmare, when I was suddenly aroused by Joy's shifting in my arms. She rolled over so that her back was facing my stomach, and then scooted back until she was pressed firmly up against my body.
And just like that, I was spooning a pony I had known less than eighteen hours. And I was completely okay with it. I wrapped my arms around her and drifted off to sleep, not worried in the least about nightmares. I adjusted my position to get more comfortable, and despite my best efforts I jostled her to the verge of waking up, but not quite enough to rouse her. In her sleep, she uttered the single most intriguing thing I had heard in at least an hour:
"…but I want to ride the pony…"
As much as I wanted to wake her and ask what she was dreaming about, my own exhaustion took over, pulling me into the land of dreams. The last thing that registered in my mind before I lost consciousness was that her mane smelled like mint…
As I lay there on the couch-bed with this mare in my arms and her scent on my mind, I dreamed again. No, I will not elaborate beyond that, other than to say that it was personal in nature and not something that is safe for young eyes to read. Regardless, I was having a good dream… a very good dream. I was unceremoniously jolted awake as the mare in my arms suddenly was no longer present, her rapid movement jarring me from sleep. I opened my eyes to see what was happening, and I was blinded by a ray of sunlight streaming in from the window.
Blinking at the abominably bright light and squinting to fight the glare, I picked out a pair of blue eyes regarding me warily. Joy had relocated from her resting place in my arms to the loveseat on the other side of the coffee table, where she sat with her knees tucked under her chin and her arms crossed over them. Her face was hidden halfway by her knees, but her eyes were clearly studying me very closely, and I could easily distinguish that they were darting from my face to my… oh my.
As sometimes happens, a good friend of mine had decided to wish me a good morning…there were, however, a few problems with this. First, my chum was clearly very excited to wish me a good morning, to the point that it was almost painful. Second and more importantly, I had been snuggled quite close to an attractive mare when he decided to say hello. I quickly turned as scarlet as I had ever been; I scrambled madly to grab something, anything to cover my shame.
After I had obscured myself with the pillows I slept on last night, the blankets from the bed, the cushions from the couch, and finding nothing else within reach, I sat there with my heart pounding in my ears and my face burning with shame. The silence was palpable; it was deafening. When Joy cleared her throat, it echoed through the stillness like the report of a high powered rifle.
“Uh… ahem… so… that was… unexpected…”
I pretty much wanted to just disappear right then. I almost wanted the sky to be torn open and for the Elder Dragon to claim me, just to be free of this embarrassment. Almost.
“I… I’m so sorry about that. It… sometimes it just does its own thing. I… ugh…”
I facehoofed loudly for not seeing this coming from a mile away. Joy displayed a tremendous amount of grace with her next action: She simply laughed. It was a strange, infectious sound under the circumstances, and after a moment more of wallowing in my embarrassment, I couldn’t help but join her. Joy spoke up first, tears in her eyes from her joviality.
“Oh Goddesses… that was priceless… I had no idea what was happening. One minute I’m sleeping like a rock, and then I feel something on my back… I thought it was your hoof poking me! And then you wake up, and you look so dang cute when you're flustered… your expression was priceless.”
Joy promptly collapsed back into a fit of giggles, and I managed to get myself under control. After another minute or so, I felt confident enough to stand up, letting all of the debris I'd piled on myself fall away. After the abrupt awakening, there was no chance in hell of me going back to sleep anytime soon. Joy was still lapsing into giggling fits at random, and I was taking care to walk a certain way so I didn't rub anything the wrong way and get this started all over again. It was at this moment that my stomach decided to voice its opinion that now is a fantastic time for breakfast, startling us both. I rubbed the back of my neck, and spoke up.
"Heh… so, I think it's breakfast time…"
She smiled at me again, making my heart skip a beat. "Hmm… I do believe you're right. So, where do you want to go? There are a few good places around here for breakfast, so it's really up to you. Where to?"
"Surprise me. I trust you."
With a light blush, Joy gave a quick nod.
"Alright, I think I know a place. Before then, however, I have to make myself presentable. There is a guest bathroom down here that you can use, if you like. It's the door on the right, at the end of the hallway."
I looked the mare over, her mane still delightfully disheveled from her rapid evacuation of the sofa-bed, and decided that she looked wonderful as is. She shot me a "You've got to be kidding me" look, to which I shook my head. She rolled her eyes and waved a hoof dismissively, but I could see the smile on her face from across the room even though I was standing behind her. She cast a glance over her shoulder at me as she turned the corner, and I could swear she winked at me. And then she was out of sight around the corner, my mind still reeling.
My mind was full of fuzz as I tried to make heads or tails of what exactly was going on here. I stood there staring blankly into space for who knows how long, until the sound of a shower coming on jolted me back to reality. Images of a shower popped into my head, immediately followed by a pair of strikingly blue eyes… okay, time for a cold shower.
I navigated my way to the end of the hallway, a feat that required a significant portion of my cunning and wit. I located the shower, and turned the tap onto cold as far as it would go before I carefully unwrapped the bandages from around my chest. I took a deep breath to prepare myself, and didn't bother to test the water before stepping in.
Holy sweet mother of… potatoes, I did not think that through at all. I damn near jumped out of the shower from the shock of the glacial runoff that spewed forth from the faucet. Well, that takes care of my problem… I was shivering vigorously before I decided that enough was enough and turned the tap up to something above freezing.
I finished my hygiene routine and toweled off, taking a moment to admire myself in the mirror. My coat was a light brown, my mane a bit darker, and my eyes were the same steel blue as ever. My injuries showed no outward manifestation, not even a bruise. One thing that I took note of with no small amount of delight was the fact that I seemed to be in just as good of a physical condition on Equestria as I had been on earth, if not better.
Feeling that my ego had been sufficiently stoked for the time being, I wrapped the towel around my waist and trotted to the living room to get my cologne from the day before… I could not get enough of that stuff. I retrieved the bottle from my pack and spritzed myself, closing my eyes and wafting in the glorious odor. As I stood there, basking in the amazing smell, I got the prickly sensation that I was being watched.
Upon opening my eyes, I did two things simultaneously. One, I realized that I was correct, I was indeed being observed. Second, I recoiled in shock from the mare standing directly in front of me, our faces only centimeters apart. As I was recoiling, I used my tremendous vocabulary and mastery of vernacular aerobatics to communicate my shock at the proximity of our faces.
"BWAAA!"
Damn… that had sounded so much better in my head. To top it all off, as I was backpedaling in fright, I tripped over my saddlebags and ended up sprawled on the floor. I swear to Luna, I saw stars circling my head. As my eyes ceased to spin in conflicting directions, they focused on the very face I had just retreated from. Joy was standing a few steps from where I lay, a dreamy look on her face.
"You smell really good…"
I shifted my position, climbing back to my hooves. "Um… thank you…"
"Anyhow, are you almost ready for breakfast?" she intoned.
"Indubitably." I replied.
This was met by an odd look from the mare, as if she was asking herself who actually used such words. I gathered up my saddlebags and met Joy by the door, and without further ado we ventured forth into the soft light of the early morning.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
We had been walking for a good twenty minutes in the calm stillness of the early morning when we came to the fountain in the center of Ponyville. The sound of the water gently splashing across the features of the statue was incredibly tranquil, and inspired in me a feeling of well-being and contentedness that I could not quite explain. Tucked into a small alcove between a pair of much larger buildings was a tiny café, no more than five meters wide but at least twenty meters deep. It was a very nondescript place from the outside, boasting only a small hoof-carved sign as an indicator of its existence.
As Joy led me towards the door, she explained a bit about the establishment.
"This is my favorite place to eat breakfast. It's a bit pricy, but the sunflower hash is to die for. I stumbled across it one morning as I went for a walk to clear my head after a night of studying, and I immediately fell in love with it."
As I drew up within a few steps of the establishment, I could finally make out the name engraved in the wooden slab: "Fleur de Lis." We entered into the small café, and took a seat at a table by the window. After a few moments, a waitress with a thick accent came and took our order. While we waited for our sunflower hash to arrive, we simply sat in a comfortable silence and stared out the window, watching as the rest of the town slowly shook itself loose of the veil of sleep and awoke to the new day.
Over breakfast, we continued an idle conversation about our planned tour of the town. It was decided early on that we would visit a few of the main attractions in town, namely Sugarcube Corner, a clothing shop known only as "The Boutique", the town market, the city hall, and the library before lunch. After lunch, we would decide what we felt up to for the rest of the day. By the time we had polished off breakfast, our plans had been laid, and we set forth to visit the main attractions, though in no particular order. A cursory glance at my watch revealed that it was only zero-six-twenty, and we had dang near all day to tour the town.
We struck out from the café into the calm of the morning. Though there were a few ponies out and about, it seemed that most were still in bed at this hour; the streets were nearly deserted. I inquired about this to Joy.
“Where is everypony? Where are all of the shops and such that I saw last night?”
“Oh, don’t worry about that. Most places don’t open up until about zero eight, save for a few that are open around the clock to cater to the folks at the clinic.”
“Ah, that makes sense. But if nothing opens till eight, then what are we doing out so early?”
“Silly pony. You weren’t paying attention again. I said most don’t open until eight. Certain venues, such as Fleur de Lis for instance, open earlier out of necessity. Like where we are headed now: it opens at zero six.”
“And where are we going, exactly?”
“Our first stop today will be the Library. I believe you might be familiar with the area… it’s where you… ahem… 'touched down'… yesterday.”
At the mention of my dramatic entrance yesterday, my chest gave an involuntary twinge of pain. I would really like to not do that again if I could help it. I gave an unwitting shudder as I relived the horror of freefalling. Who has no thumbs and an unadulterated hatred of the sensation of freefall? This colt.
“Yeah… I’d like to try not to do that again. It was quite painful and an experience that I would like to forget, but on the other hoof, it did have a positive outcome…”
I let my sentence trail off as I cast a glance at the cerulean mare walking next to me, that seemingly ever-present blush manifesting itself on her cheeks again. She was simply too damned cute… it was like a sugar high every time I was near her, but without the crash or the cavities afterward.
A few blocks away, I saw the top of the Library poking out from behind the roof of the house in front of me. We were entering a more sparsely populated area, with more space between each building and the next. One of the buildings we passed struck me as highly familiar, and a cursory inspection revealed why: the building had a sign in the front of it that read “Lyra’s Strings and Things”. We had passed the building the day before on our way to the clinic.
As we entered the clearing around the Library, my eyes spotted something that made my wings itch (a singularly alien sensation, one that I can’t even begin to describe): small splatters of a rust colored substance. I was looking at my own blood from the day before. Of their own volition, my wings began to shift slightly, sending a ripple of pain throughout my chest. I had forgone the gauze bindings on my wings as I returned from my shower, and now I was paying for that bit of overconfidence.
Sure, Joy had told me that I would benefit from wearing them. I, however, am not a clever pony; I decided that it wouldn’t be too much of a hassle, and that I needed to just suck it up and drive on. Why on Equestria I thought I was smart enough to disregard the advice of a medically trained pony based on my own assumptions, I’ll never know.
I ran out of time to consider my own stupidity as we walked onto the stoop of the Library. Without hesitation, Joy pushed the door open and walked in, a small bell chiming to indicate our arrival. The voice of a familiar mare drifted up from somewhere amongst the warren of rooms and alcoves, indicating that she would be with us in a moment. Joy called out for her to take her time, and gestured with a hoof for me to follow as she wandered off into the embrace of the tomes.
Joy was scanning the spines of the books with a concentration and determination that indicated she knew exactly what she was searching for. From elsewhere in the Library, a pair of voices seemed to be engaged in conversation, their banter punctuated at odd intervals by a third, decidedly deeper, voice.
As Joy continued her search, we drew nearer to the source of the conversation, and words began to become discernible.
"… modern Equestrian history…"
"… might be helpful. It was written by a Scoltish fellow, by the name of…"
"… advanced? They are still a bit young, I think…"
"… this one, perhaps… needs better…"
I had been trying to piece the bits of conversation together as they came to me, and with a bit of analysis, I deduced that somepony was trying to gather information on modern Equestrian history, to be presented in some form or another to younger ponies. I was fairly confident in my conclusion, and I was staring at the ground and trying to figure out who would be asking for something like that, as I blindly followed the sound of hooves in front of me.
Without warning, the hooves in front of me had ceased movement, and I registered this in my mind a moment too late. I head butted Joy in her flank, just to the rear of her cutie mark. She managed to retain her balance and shot me an inquisitive look, trying to decide whether it was intentional or if I was just that much of a klutz.
I suppose my dazed look answered her question, and she told me I should watch where I was going. I nodded dumbly, feeling only moderately embarrassed. I mentally shrugged… worse things had happened today. I looked up and saw Joy's blue aura of magic wrapping around a slender book as she relieved it of its location on the shelf.
As it floated down in front of her, I caught a glimpse of the title: "An Idiot's Guide to Ponyville".
Perfect. This fit nicely within my skill range.
Joy seemed to think the same thing as she brandished the cover in my direction with a smile.
"See, Dave? It's like they knew you would need this someday. They even put your name on it!"
She underlined the word "Idiot" with a wide, playful smirk. I clasped a hoof over my heart quite theatrically, and said
"Oh! How you wound me with such names!"
At this, we both shared a hearty chuckle. A chuckle, which was cut short by a comparatively small green and purple dragon, who shushed us with vigor.
Joy and I shared another (albeit much more quiet) chuckle at the sight. As our giddiness died down, Joy took off again in some unknowable direction. The library did not look that large from the outside, but looks can be deceiving. I followed close on her heels so as not to lose her.
As we rounded the corner, Joy nearly collided with another mare coming from the opposite direction. The two mares recoiled as if they were of the same polar charge, narrowly avoiding what would have been a nasty collision. As they stumbled about for a second to regain their footing, I immediately recognized the lavender mare with whom Joy had nearly collided.
It was none other than Twilight Sparkle, the most powerful unicorn in Equestria and the mare that had helped get me to the clinic in my time of need.
Our eyes met, and a flash of recognition passed between us. We both tried to mumble a greeting, stopping each time we heard the other start, and continuing this for several seconds before lapsing into an awkward silence. Joy did us all the favor of breaking the tension and introducing everypony.
"Twilight, this is Dave; the pony you carted to the clinic yesterday. Dave, this is the mare that helped ensure you got the medical attention you deserved."
Twilight and I shared an awkward hoofshake, while Joy introduced another mare that was standing just behind Twilight, in a state of semi-befuddlement.
"Dave, this is Cheerilee; Cheerilee, this is Dave. He's new here, he flew in yesterday."
I traded another awkward hoofshake with the maroon mare, and couldn't help but notice that she smelled of a delightful berry scent.
As the introductions drew to a close, Cheerilee excused herself from our company, leaving the three of us alone. I spoke up first.
"Miss Sparkle, I would like to thank you again for ensuring my safe transport to the clinic. I owe you a debt of gratitude."
At this, Twilight cast her gaze towards the floor, scraping it with a hoof absentmindedly as she replied.
"Oh, it was no trouble really. I was just glad to have been there to help."
Twilight remained focused on the ground, apparently unaccustomed to receiving compliments. Again, it was Nurse Joy to the rescue, breaking the awkward silence by addressing the somewhat rosy-cheeked mare.
"Well… if it isn't too much trouble, Twilight… I would like to check out this book from the library…"
At the mention of something that involved her official duties as librarian, Twilight Sparkle snapped out of her reverie and immediately indicated that we were to follow her, heading directly towards the Library Logbook. Once we had arrived at the main desk, Twilight proceeded to sign the book out to Joy. I took note that the date was March Thirteenth; a Tuesday. At least the week seemed to be structured in the same manner as what I was used to. Thank Celestia for small miracles.
Once the official business was concluded, Twilight and Joy broke off into a separate conversation that was entirely over my head. All I know is that it had something to do with applied magical theory and the healing characteristics of the separate Pony races. Seeing that the conversation was entirely too far above my head to even try and understand, I wandered off, possibly in search of a book.
I had no concrete idea of that I was looking for, and so I ended up browsing the assorted spines of the books aligned ever so neatly on the shelves. A book about griffin culture caught my eye, and I pulled it down to do some light browsing. I felt like I had only been reading for a moment or so before I heard Joy's voice, calling me back. I immediately stopped what I was doing and replaced the book before I headed towards the sound of her voice. I instinctively exclaimed "MOVING!" to indicate that I had heard and was coming back.
When I returned to the reading area near the front desk, I saw that both Twilight and Joy were seated in a reading nook with steaming cups of tea, which they were sipping as they engaged in idle chit chat. There was a third, as yet untouched, cup of tea sitting on the coffee table in front of a corresponding empty chair. Joy gestured that I should take a seat, and so I did.
Initially, the two mares continued their conversation for a bit as if I was not even there. Soon enough, the two mares begin to recall amusing anecdotes of their day to day lives. In due time, Twilight asked me a question.
"So, Dave… Tell us about yourself. Where you're from and things like that."
I cleared my throat, before shooting a glance at Joy. She had asked a similar question the night before, and I had answered it very vaguely, just giving her the name of a place and not the story behind it. Clearing my throat, I addressed the two mares with a rehearsed tone, as if I had actually lived the events I was to describe.
"Well… alright then. I told Joy some of the basics last night, but that was the footnotes version. Here is the abridged version."
"I come to this town from a small griffin colony called Rockledge. It is a small, secluded clan led by a griffin named Steelwing. I was born and raised there, but the details of my childhood are… painful, to say the least. When I came of age, I was recruited into part of the Skyguard, a quasi-military outfit. While in this unit, I was given special training. I lack the claws and talons of a griffin, so I couldn't be a soldier. In lieu of that, I was assigned a special job in the Intelligence field. That's all I can say on that, the details are classified. Where I come from, the names are different, as you may have surmised by now. Not sure where the names come from, but they are usually passed down the generations to pay respect to the ones that came before."
At this time, Joy interjected.
"When I was in high school, I had a few classes with a griffin. He had a few… eccentricities. One thing I learned from him is that, to a griffin, honor is everything. To act without honor is a disgrace, and to dishonor your ancestors meant a swift death at the talons of your clan. And the fact that they eat meat just makes me shiver. I know it is natural and all, but it still makes me queasy…"
I observed the two mares visibly squirming with the discomforting visions they were imagining for a moment before I spoke up.
"Eating meat… it's not so bad once you get used to it. Watching the griffons doing it, that is. It no longer fazed me after a couple years."
I looked up from where my gaze had fallen to, and was greeted by two sets of eyes locked on mine. Nopony spoke for a moment, and my gaze bounded back and forth between them. Again, Joy was the first to speak up.
"Dave… have you… eaten… eaten meat?"
Knowing how this was going to go over, I did my best to explain myself.
"Yes. Yes I have. You have to understand though; it was part of the culture I was raised in. It wasn’t taboo where I was from, it was just natural. It should’ve been an indicator the way some of the adults would egg me on, but I didn't learn that it was wrong for ponies to eat meat until much later in life. It was also a part of my initiation into the Guard, but that's all I'll say on that matter."
As I concluded my tale, the two mares stared at me with a mixture of horror and fascination. With every fiber of my being, I wished them not to ask me whether or not I still ate it or craved it. While I could lie my way out of it, I could not trust my stomach not to betray me.
As the uncomfortable silence stretched on into eternity, I could see that Joy was looking rather pale, and wondered if I would be mopping in the near future. Thankfully, Twilight diverted the conversation onto a less… sensitive subject.
"So… how did you end up in Ponyville? Is it some mission from the griffins?"
I paused briefly to consider my response, and I decided to tell the truth, while altering critical facts to ensure that my story would be seamless.
"Well… there is no simple answer. No, I am not on a mission from the griffins. As for the rest of the question, it is a long, sad, and complicated story… the short version is that circumstances conspired so that it was in my best interest to leave. I left the clan of my own volition and on amicable terms. Even so, I know I'll never be able to return. I struck out with no destination, no family, no friends, and only what I could fly with. And eventually, I came upon Ponyville… and you know the rest from there."
Joy shot me a glance that said "we will talk about this later", and Twilight changed the subject again.
"If you don't mind me asking, what are your plans for the rest of the day?"
This time, it was Joy who answered. "Well, we were going to sightsee along the way to the Boutique, go by the market and grab a bite to eat, and then go to Sugarcube Corner for dessert."
"Sounds like you have a full day ahead of you… you should enjoy it. If there is anything you need from me, just let me know and I'll do whatever I can for you."
Twilight was looking at me as she spoke, clearly addressing me with her offer for assistance. I thanked her for the offer, and I assured her that I would come to her should I need her services. Thus satisfied, Twilight turned back to Joy, and they once again struck up a bit of girl chat that I was excluded from, though it suited me just fine. I finally had a moment to think, and my mind was racing. I grabbed the cup of tea (a feat that is unbelievably more difficult than it sounds, because of the hooves and all) and sipped it as I drifted off into my own thoughts.
Despite myself, I found myself caught up in the conversation of the two mares, sipping this delicious cup of tea as they traded bits of gossip back and forth. From what I'd gathered, the Great and Powerful Trixie had moved on to Manehattan, where she was experiencing a run of luck far better than she’d had in Ponyville. The mysterious musician named DJ PON3 was a huge hit in Fillydelphia, her record sales going through the roof. There was a rumor floating around that a certain affluent musician was in a controversial relationship with another mare, though there was no evidence to support it.
All of these things and more were whispered back and forth in hushed tones at the two mares shared the gossip they had collected in the course of their day-to-day jobs. I wasn't sure how much of it could be trusted, which sources had been vetted and whatnot, but overall I had the sense that most of what was said was true.
I was content to sit and listen in on the "Bridle Gossip" as it was traded back and forth amongst the two mares… that is, until a certain colorful pegasus pony's… preferences came into question. As soon as the subject was broached, I interrupted, perhaps a bit more forcefully than I'd meant to.
"What does it matter? Who are we to say what is right and wrong when it comes to love? Goddesses know it is hard enough to find someone who you want to annoy for the rest of your life. What does it matter if they have the same gear as you do? Who are we to judge the love of others?"
In the wake of my outburst, the mares were silent. They seemed to be contemplating the implications of what I'd said before responding. The awkward silence lasted a bit longer than I had anticipated, but in the end it was again Joy who broke the silence.
"You know… you're right. What does it matter where you found love, as long as you've found it?"
To this, the three of us nodded in consent. There was nothing wrong with loving another of the same sex, as long as it was truly love that brought these ponies together.
The conversation wore on, and before anypony knew it, it was past ten-thirty. Joy happened to glance at the clock on the wall before exclaiming about the lateness of the hour. She quickly explained to Twilight that we really should be going because she was supposed to be giving me a tour of Ponyville, and the lavender mare waved us off without a second thought.
"As long as you come back to visit sometime soon, I won't hold it against you," she called to us as we made for the door.
Our next stop: the Boutique. As we were threading our way through the streets that had somehow become quite populated by the pastel pony populace of Ponyville, I caught sight of a trio of fillies running helter skelter, gallivanting recklessly through the crowded streets.
As they ducked around the corner, I dawned on me that I had just seen the Cutie Mark Crusaders on what must have been another of their well-natured, but ill-conceived ventures to acquire their cutie marks. I smiled a bit inside as we began to draw near the market center, a place that was impossibly crowded, or so it seemed.
I was wondering what we might do in the afternoon; perhaps have a picnic in one of the numerous fields around the town, when my vision was dominated by an incredibly bright shade of pink. Even as I tried to wrap my mind around the sheer absurdity of the hue, the impossibly tinted pony addressed me.
"Hey! I don't recognize you! You must be new here. My name is Pinkie Pie, and this calls for a PARTY!"
Pinkie paused for a moment to stroke her chin thoughtfully, before inhaling quite deeply and disappearing in a blur. Seriously, that was it. I never even saw her move, one second she was there and the next she was a streak of pink towards the horizon. Blinking in shock, I stood for a moment trying to piece together what had happened. Joy simply smirked at my befuddlement, having grown accustomed to the antics of the pink pony a long time ago.
"One never really gets used to Pinkie Pie… you just learn to accept whatever she does and not question it or think about it too deeply. You'll have fewer headaches that way."
"But… how did she… she was here and then… whoosh, gone! It's not possible to move that fast… I mean, there's no way… ugh, my head is hurting…"
"Told you so." joy intoned smugly.
I shot Joy a dirty look, at which she simply chuckled… I was going to have to practice my "Death Glare" in the mirror tonight… alongside the headache, I felt something else… could it be disappointment? Yes, I do believe it was. I suppose I was hoping for a bit more involved first contact with the overzealous mare, but at the same time I realized that I really should have expected as much from Pinkie, shrugging it off to think about later.
As we walked through the streets, I kept looking around for ponies I recognized. I recognized a few that I could not name, but most of them I could. I picked out Carrot Top and Mrs. Cake having a conversation near one of the stalls, and on the other side of the plaza I could see Applejack deeply involved in a bartering contest with a customer.
As much as I wanted to go over there and engage her somehow, I knew that I had no real basis for it, and it would only bring up questions I'd rather not answer. Questions like "Why are you running across the plaza?", "How do you know Applejack?", and things like that. Better to just keep calm and canter on, and besides: I had a pretty good feeling that I would be meeting the rest of the mane six sooner or later anyways.
We crossed a narrow bridge over a stream as we passed through what could be considered "Downtown Ponyville", taking a small detour from our planned route to check out the Ponyville town hall. Joy informed me that while it was unlikely we would get into the building proper without an appointment, the area just past the main doors was a mini-museum, showcasing some artifacts from Ponyville's past.
We stepped through the doors into a brightly lit reception area, rimmed around the edges with small glass display cases. We made our way around to them one by one, and each contained a small bit of the past, with a note alongside it that explained its historical significance.
There was a horseshoe from the first pony to set foot on the ground that this very hall had been built upon, the omega shaped chunk of iron heavily dented and scuffed by years of hard work.
A hammer, a chisel, some nails, and a framing square from one of the carpenters that had helped build more than half of the oldest buildings in Ponyville, the town hall included.
A tattered, brown piece of paper with writing faded from age. This was a map of the beginnings of Ponyville, and compared to the more modern map in the book Joy had checked out, clearly illustrated how much the town had grown in the time since its establishment.
All of the items represented a snapshot in time of the growth of the town, from the very first settler to set hoof in what would become the town center, all the way to a scale model of the town as it sat today. In this way the town's history made Ponyville seem like a living thing, allowing one to follow its growth from a single, tiny seed into a blossoming community, thriving in its own special way.
Joy and I concluded our self-guided tour, and I walked out of the town hall with a distinct feeling of awe at the structures before me. Each building seemed to be revealed to me for the first time in the light of my newfound knowledge.
It was the subtle signs that gave away the toil that had shaped this town from the land around it, whether it was the still-visible strokes of an axe that had felled an ancient beam for the corner post in a building, or the chisel marks that adorned the few stone statues that dotted the town. It inspired in me a respect for the ponies that had the fortitude and skill to craft this town from raw materials and nurture it to its current prosperity.
Joy seemed to have been affected to a much slighter degree, most likely due to having already known the story of Ponyville's founding. Even so, she left me in silence to wonder at the structures around me for a good while as we meandered through the town. Soon though, her desire for conversation overruled her desire to afford me silence, and we once again struck up a conversation. Well, we tried to at least.
Since my mind was still wrapped around the fact that ponies had built this town with nothing but their hooves, blood, sweat, and tears, it was all I could talk about. It was "Did you ever notice the scalloping the axe made in this timber?" this, and "I wonder how they moved that huge chunk of stone all the way here" that. I felt like a kid again for a moment, lost in the wonder of the small things we take for granted every day.
Thankfully, Joy's desire for conversation that I couldn't provide was sated by a pale yellow mare with a pink and navy bicolor mane. As soon as Joy spotted her, her blue eyes lit up with a nostalgic gleam as she called out to the mare. "Bonnie!"
At this, the mare looked around angrily for the pony that had called her out by her nickname. As soon as her eyes locked on the joyous cerulean mare that was approaching her, her expression melted to one of delight as she called out to Joy. "Colgate!"
I did a double take. Colgate? Wait… I thought her name was Joy… and then it hit me. I was an idiot. No, not that… I already knew that. What hit me was that I was familiar with a pony called Colgate… at least the fandom version, anyways. As I looked at Joy, I couldn't believe it had escaped me for so long. The blue eyes, the cerulean coat, the blue and white mane, and that dazzling smile… Sonofa bitch, I'm dense sometimes.
My only alibi was that when I first met her, I was in the throes of pain-induced delirium, and I had taken her name at face value; I had not tried to assign any sort of fandom name to her. But still… it had been staring me in the face this whole damned time and I’d missed it. I decided to contemplate the exact magnitude of my inattention at a later time as the mares joined in a full on hug. The sight of the two of them standing on their back legs only, with their arms wrapped around each other caused me to stop short.
How the hell were they doing that? I experimentally tried to rise up on my back legs and stay there, only to end up landing quite forcefully on my rump. Luckily, nopony seemed to have noticed my display of physical prowess, and I stood up and dusted off before anypony saw me.
The embrace I had tried to emulate broke apart in front of me, and the two mares began to catch up on each other's lives since the last time they met. As I was staring vacantly into the distance as I stood by Joy, I was jarred back to the scene in front of me by somepony calling out my name.
"Dave!" I shook my head and blinked away my confusion, focusing on Joy. "About time you woke up, crazy. I was trying to introduce you to my best gal-pal Bonnie, but you were checked out pretty good. Are you back with us now?"
I chuckled a bit and rubbed the back of my neck as I replied. "Sorry 'bout that… I do that from time to time. But yeah, I'm back."
I extended my hoof towards the other mare, who was still chuckling slightly at the previous exchange. "How do you do, Miss. My name is Dave."
She returned the hoofshake with a smirk as she replied. "Your name is Dave, you say? I couldn't tell, what with Joy here practically yelling it a couple times and all."
I might have been a bit offended by the unsolicited sarcasm if it wasn't for the fact that there was no malice behind it, only a playful jeer. Instead, I chuckled. "Yeah, I guess I set myself up for that. Touché, Bonnie."
At this, Bonbon's features hardened into a mock-serious scowl. "Dave, are you a mare?"
I tapped my chin pensively. "Hmmm… not the last time I checked. Why?"
"Well, I only let cute mares call me that. And while you are plenty cute, you've got incompatible equipment. Everypony else just calls me Bonbon."
I chuckled a bit at the directness of this mare. She didn't beat around the bush, and that was a quality that I could appreciate. "Thank you for the compliment, and I'll keep that in mind, Bonbon."
I turned to Joy with a cocky smirk. "I like this mare. Where did you find her?"
To my tremendous amusement, Joy's face did some expression-gymnastics, going from shocked to jealous to smiling in a matter of a few seconds. I wished I had a .gif of that… I could watch it anytime I was having a bad day. As Joy registered that it was a joke and I wasn't
actually hitting on this other mare right in front of her, she chuckled and replied.
"Bonnie and I went to school together, and we ended up becoming really good friends within the first week."
Bonbon interrupted suddenly, moving closer to Joy and throwing an arm over her. "Yeah, Dave. We are friends… really good friends, if you catch my drift…"
At this, I'm pretty sure my jaw hit the ground. However, based on the way that Joy turned beet red and was regarding Bonbon (who was now laughing hysterically) with unabashed confusion, I concluded that I had been gotten.
Again.
Dammit.
"Well played, Bonbon. Well played indeed."
Pending a moment of silence as she regained her wit, Joy began to stammer something along the lines of 'I expected as much from him, but YOU Bonnie? Really?' or something of the sort. It was kinda difficult to understand, what with the stammering and all, but you get the gist.
As was becoming the norm, Joy and insert-current-pony’s-name-here broke off into a conversation that essentially excluded me, though not by design. Since I was not yet involved in their conversation, I took it upon myself to at least try to learn as much as I could about the two of them by interjecting random questions. Doing so, I discovered that Joy and Bonbon have known each other since they were fillies in Cheerilee’s class.
When I asked them where the nickname Colgate had come from, they both shrugged and mumbled something about hair… when I pressed for details, I was informed that they really don’t quite remember how exactly it was that the name had come around, but once it did, it stuck.
My questions seemed to remind them that there was another pony there with them, and they began to return some questions of their own. As I explained for what felt like the tenth time how I came to Ponyville, Bonbon’s eyes narrowed as I mentioned Lyra, and she cut me off with a question.
“So, you met Lyra already? And how did that go?”
“Well, I had just narrowly avoided falling to my death by inflicting rather serious damage to myself, and was a bit out of my skull with the pain and all. All things considered, it went pretty well. Then she helped get me into a cart and over to the clinic.”
“That’s all?”
Bonbon’s tone was decidedly less friendly than it had been a moment ago… it seemed… protective, almost. The voice she was using reminded me of a father grilling his daughter’s boyfriend after they came home late from the movies. Though it perplexed me a bit, I figured I would find out what this was all about sooner or later. Things have a way of revealing themselves like that, as long as you have the patience and could pay attention to the details.
“Yeah, that’s pretty much it. Like I said, I was pretty shaken up from the landing, and I was in no condition to hold a conversation. Aside from that, everything is a bit… fuzzy.”
Bonbon nodded her head, seeming to accept this answer. And just like that, she was back to her normal self, as if that whole tense exchange had never happened. I swear I was going to get mental whiplash if things kept up at this rate.
The mares exchanged a few more stories and such that I was happy to keep my nose out of, when Bonbon said she had to get back to her shop to catch the lunch rush. As I should have guessed, Bonbon owned a sweets shop appropriately named “Bonbons”. With a lascivious wink, she invited Joy to come by sometime to sample her “sweets”, an invitation that the cerulean mare answered with a noncommittal “Maybe… we’ll see” as they parted ways.
As soon as we were out of earshot, I turned to Joy. “Was she serious with that “sweets” comment? I couldn’t tell if she was joking or not…”
Joy simply chuckled a bit, as if to say ‘You’re new here, aren’t you…’ before she replied. “I keep forgetting that you're new here.”
I freaking nailed it. Sometimes I’m so good, it’s scary. Other times (most of the time), not so much. Joy continued, oblivious to my self-congratulatory internal monologue.
“Bonbon is very sweet and sometimes she can seem very… forward… but that is just the way she is. She and Lyra are in a committed relationship. It’s no secret around here, but you wouldn’t know it, seeing as how you just got here. Though she seems to flirt with every mare she meets, everypony knows she would never do anything to hurt Lyra. The flirtiness is just who she is.”
Remember that thing I said earlier, about how I would probably figure it out sooner or later? Chalk another win up for this guy. I was on fire today. I almost didn’t know what to do with myself and this feeling of win. Hell, if I kept this up and had something like a good idea, I’m not sure how I would survive the sudden overflow of win.
Blinded by the glare of my own perceived glory, I walked into a low-hanging sign advertising one of the various market stalls. The glare from my glory was instantly replaced by stars as my vision blurred from the pain. Dammit that hurt… Joy must have heard the bonk sound my head made upon collision, and I could hear her barely restrained giggles as she asked if I was alright.
"Yeah, just bumped my head. Good thing it's so thick… otherwise it might have hurt" I said, as I rubbed the offending spot while blinking away tears of pain. MANLY tears of pain, that is. Tears composed of pure testosterone… et cetera, et cetera. Joy chuckled despite herself, to which I responded with a dirty look, trying to look fierce with one eye leaking testosterone and the other covered by my hoof as I massaged my skull. Seeing that it had legitimately hurt (like a sonofa bitch, might I add), Joy offered her condolences.
"Want me to kiss it and make it better?"
My hoof fell away from my head as I just stared dumbly. Did she really just ask that? Had a trained nurse just offered to kiss my boo-boo? Even as I opened my mouth to spout a witty comeback, Joy leaned in and pecked the injury before I could block. Even as I was trying to back away from the pain I knew would follow, her lips made contact. My replied died in my throat as I tried to speak.
"No, DO-" *smooch* "… huh. I'll be damned… it worked."
And it had. The roiling knot of agony that had once been my frontal lobe was immediately soothed by a cool, tingly sensation. Must have been some unicorn voodoo-witchcraft-magic… there is no way that a kiss could do that. Joy must have read my expression, for she immediately offered an explanation.
"It's one of my healing spells that I use on foals that come to the clinic. It is essentially a fast acting, topical anesthetic of magic goodness. It is my favorite spell of all… I love the way their little faces light up in wonder when I do it."
As she explained her spell, Joy's face became a dreamy mask of serenity. It was almost painfully obvious that this mare was incredibly fond of children. I told her as much…
"Joy… if I'm not mistaken, and I don't think I am… based on a careful analysis of your tactics, techniques, and procedures, coupled with historical data from several sources… I'd say you like foals."
Joy broke out of her trance when I called her name, a confused expression growing on her face as I kept saying all these words that didn’t make sense to her. I finished talking, but she still stood there and stared into the middle-distance for a good three seconds before what I had said finally clicked. First, her bright blue eyes widened in comprehension, and then they were smothered under her hoof as she groaned at my stupidity and facehoofed loudly.
I replied with an innocent smirk.
"That looks like it hurt. Want me to kiss it and make it better?"
Joy glared at me for a moment for stealing her prized spell before she remembered that I was a pegasus, and possessed no magical ability. Then she made a horrible miscalculation: She tried to call my bluff.
"Hmm… Actually, yes. Yes I would."
She closed her eyes and leaned in a bit as she tilted her head down slightly, presenting her injured forehead to my ministrations. I leaned in gently; taking a long, slow whiff of her mane… it smelled incredibly minty. This was actually not surprising at all, somehow. As I drew to approximately a hoof's length from her forehead, I exhaled deeply and sensually, causing the mare to tremble slightly.
And then I planted a huge, sloppy, wet kiss on her forehead, slobbering all over her.
I drew my head back just in time to watch her expression change as everything registered.
Both of her eyes popped wide open in shock, as she felt the sudden wetness on her forehead.
Her left eye was undergoing some strange spasm; her lower eyelid was bouncing up and down like a cracked-out rabbit.
Both pupils narrowed to pinpricks as she slowly reached a hoof up to her face, dabbing at the wetness. She pulled her hoof away from her face, the dampness evident. Her eyes focused on the offending appendage before fixing their gaze on me.
At this point, I was reconsidering the wisdom of my actions.
"You." Joy nearly growled the word, and I said the first thing that came to mind.
"Me." Oh, this conversation was going to be gold.
"You… you… you are so… "
"Adorable? Handsome? Intelligent?" I offered.
Okay, the last one was a stretch, even for me.
"You are so… NASTY! Ewewewewewewewwwww!"
Internally I took a moment to be thankful for not receiving any further injuries, but outwardly I was laughing my ASS off.
Joy, momentarily forgetting that she had magic and could probably just wipe the stuff off, proceeded to use the side of her hoof to try and wipe herself down. She succeeded only in spreading it around even worse.
"YOU."
Joy's authoritive tone made me stop in mid-guffaw, taken slightly aback by the unexpected outburst. I remained silent as I met her glare. She pointed to her forehead with a hoof.
"Fix it."
"Heh… alright, I suppose I've had my fun."
I reached into my saddlebag and retrieved a napkin that had been stashed in there at some point. I gently dabbed at her forehead, cleaning it of all of the offending fluid. While I was at work, Joy complained under her breath.
"You… you are just… evil. EEEEVVVIIIILLLL."
"I'm not evil, Joy. I might not be good, or very nice, but I'm certainly not evil."
Joy narrowed her eyes to a squint and regarded me with a frosty glare. At least, she tried to… as I've said before; this mare was too damned cute for her own good.
"EEEVVVIILLLLLLLLLLLLL."
I couldn't help but chuckle as I finished dabbing off her forehead. Her response was a swift hoof upside my head, though not with the intent to injure. She still held her adorable death-glare as she quietly spoke up.
"Colts are so nasty… bleh."
She made a face miming somepony throwing up, I couldn't help laughing again. Through my chuckles I managed to ask her a simple question.
"You've gotta admit, that was funny."
"Evil."
I chuckled again, and she turned abruptly and began to walk away. I trotted to catch up to her, staying a bit behind and to the side of her so as not to incur more of her adorable fury. Even so, from my oblique vantage point I could see the small smile painted on her features. Grinning to myself, I kept my place as we threaded through the market place.
After a dizzying series of twists and turns, we emerged from around a corner to the majesty of the Boutique, illuminated as it was by the noonday sun. It seemed to shimmer in its regal magnificence; I could imagine Princess Celestia coming to this place to commission a dress for the Gala.
As Joy came upon the door she stopped short, seemingly frozen to the spot. At first I thought she might be nervous or something like that, and then I'd considered that it might be some sort of paralysis-magic-trap. My fanciful imaginings were shattered by a simple fact: there was a note on the door, and Joy was reading it. Well, there go my conspiracy theories. Drat.
"Well, shoot."
At this little exclamation of hers, I couldn't help but sport a grin as I asked Joy what was wrong.
"She's not here. She had to go to the school to pick up her sister Sweetie Belle from…"
Joy paused as she referenced the note for the exact wording.
"From 'another of her fruitless crusades to earn her cutie mark.' Dang… I really wanted you to meet her. I'm not sure why, but I keep picturing you in a top hat, and it makes me chuckle each time." As if to prove this, her eyes went misty for a moment before she giggled, apparently unaware of it. As her eyes refocused, she blushed slightly and pawed the ground. "Heh… I told you so…"
"Has anypony ever told you that you are too darned cute for your own good?" Joy blushed deeper, slowly shook her head and tried not to smile. "Well, you are."
Joy, whether she knew it or not, shot me a puppy dog look so damned cute I might have gotten terminal Diabeetus from it. "Careful where you point those things… my withered, miserable heart can't handle all of this cute at once… I might have a heart attack if you look at me like that again."
Joy looked at the ground and then back at me, having turned the cute up to eleven. I clutched my chest quite dramatically as I rose on my back hooves, and then fell over as if dead. The impact with the ground hurt like hell, but I hid the pain as I opened one eye a bit to watch her reaction.
Her puppy eyes had melted away, replaced by the "eyes wide open and pinprick pupils" look. I swear, she looked like she was actually trying to remember if it was possible to have a heart attack from cute overload. I couldn't fight it anymore and I burst out laughing, startling the mare quite severely. She jumped about a kilometer and let out the most adorable little "Eeep!" you've ever heard.
I couldn't stop myself; I laughed so hard it hurt, so hard it brought tears to my eyes.
Man, all of this comedy was doing a number on my lungs and chest, both of which burned like fire by the time I had gotten myself under control. As I rolled off of my back and into a sitting position, the last of my guffaws was cut short by a strangled groan of pain.
My injured torso was in no mood for my shenanigans, and it was not shy about informing me either. Previous buffoonery aside, Joy could see that I was in pain and once again fetched my pain medication from my saddle bags. At least giving me the courtesy of opening my own mouth, Joy instructed me to say "Ah".
"Wha-" *gulp*
As I tried to question what I needed to do that for, I had a pair of tablets popped unceremoniously into my mouth, which I reflexively swallowed. Well… that answered that. After another moment or so, the pain ebbed away and I stood up again.
After assuring Joy that I was fine, I addressed the issue at hand. Rather, at hoof. "So… what now?"
"Hmm… I'm not sure. I was expecting to be here with Rarity for at least an hour… this throws off the schedule a bit."
I cocked my head, looking remarkably similar to a confused puppy. "There was a schedule?"
Joy rolled her eyes. "Of course there was a schedule. I wanted to make sure that we had enough time to cover the main points of the town and still get back home in time for me to get ready for my shift."
Oh, right. I had forgotten that she had to work this evening. Everything made a lot more sense now. "Ah, I see. When is lunch?"
A small notepad ensconced in blue floated out of some unknown place, coming to rest in front of Joy's face, where it was consulted. "It was supposed to be right after the Boutique, we were going to grab a quick bite back at the market."
I shrugged a bit. "Well… I'm a bit peckish right now. So as to not throw off your schedule, what say you to a long lunch? Perhaps a picnic in the glen?"
At the mention of a picnic, Joy's eyes grew quite round with joy. I tried not to think about the way they did that… seemed less likely to cause a headache that way.
After a short jaunt back to the market, we were loaded up with a couple daisy and tomato sandwiches and a few ripe apples. And no, of course I wouldn't get to use this perfect opportunity to converse with another of the mane six.
Nope, I was far happier to hold Joy's place in the sandwich line as she went from shop to shop, gathering various odds and ends. I had just concluded paying for the aforementioned sandwiches and had turned around to rejoin Joy when I saw her cantering back, a bag of apples floating in tow.
Dammit. I forced a smile as she returned, not wanting my disappointment to spoil the moment. After all, Applejack would be there another time and I could just pop by for a visit later. My disappointment was quickly washed away by the prospect of a nice lunch with a beautiful mare.
Nope, I was not about to contemplate the implications of an attraction to this mare: that was a problem for Future Dave to figure out. In the meantime, I enjoyed the smell of the grass that was carried on the breeze, drinking in the warm sunlight as if I had just crawled from a cave.
The day was perfectly temperate, most likely in the mid twenties. There was a cooling breeze that gently caressed my mane; the sky was mostly clear, save for some scattered clouds. In short, it was the ideal conditions for a picnic. As we exited the sprawl of Ponyville, we crossed over a small, crystal clear stream by way of a stone bridge. The only thing that lay between us and the picnic was a meandering gravel path, and again I could not suppress a smile.
That moment, right there and then, was about as close to heaven as I was thought I'd ever get, and I was going to enjoy it for all it was worth.
Ahead in the distance, the rolling green hills beckoned.
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Really loving this!
794743
I'm glad that you enjoyed it. I am having a blast writing this, and it's good to know that the effort I put into it is appreciated.
Is it intentional for the second half of the fiction to be in italics? Starting after the Pinkie Pie scene, of course. Because I find it ironic with this statement at the end:
"...pretty much the same, but with a LOT more italics,"
:|
.794858
Dammit...missed one...
And, fixed. Thanks for pointing it out
I liking this story so far.
Keep up the good work!
794921
Indubitably. As long as it remains fun for me, I'll keep writing. And as long as people enjoy what I write, it is fun for me.
Lol, this is fun to read Keep the lengthy chapters comin boyo!
794976
Iron Sides? Wouldn't happen to be in the 1AD, would you?
795038
Nurse Joy...it should seem familiar. It is a Pokemon reference.
Good god I think I am getting terminal Diabeetus from imagining all the stuff that happened. And the heart attack scene was histarical. By the end of it I was like....
i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/213/625/tumblr_lk1kciqdQT1qczvpto1_500.jpg
795141 1AD? Not to familiar with military terms lol. I am only 16 so... yeah. The name itself came from one of the first american built steam locomotive... win name though isnt it? lol
795276
Indeed, it is. Old Ironsides is also the name of the First Armored Division, a unit that I am currently part of.
795171
That was pretty much my reaction through writing the entire thing. I'll be taking a day off, but I'll begin the next chapter on Sunday.
Hell, even I can't wait to see what happens next.
This chapter must have been sponsored by the word Evil, considering how much the word got used.
795413 Really? Thats sweet! So you get to drive tanks?! I am guessing the Abrams right? We need a salute emoticon...
796878
Close. My job is not as a tanker, so I do not get to drive a tank. I do however get to drive an armored personnel carrier and an up-armored Humvee.
On the other hand, I have a security clearance, where tankers do not.
795539
Nope, it was actually sponsored by the word "Blush" and the number Zero.
797162 Hmmm, still think it would be fun to drive an abrams... But I guess the Humvees and the APCs are fun lol
800678
Apparently, they ride like shit. A Bradley has a much smoother ride. As far as I'm concerned, a 120MM smoothbore cannon > smooth ride
800941 Lol, big guns are better then having a smooth ride and not being able to knockout whats shooting at you lol
800971 And better still: more guns with unlimited ammo. When you're carrying that much heat, you can just repave the path ahead into a smooth one.
805600
Colgate is Redheart's daughter. Redheart herself doesn't play a significant role in the story, so she is not tagged. there may be more tagged characters in the future, depending on the development of the story. I'm still trying to figure it out.
I know how the whole thing ends, though...If you want a hint, read the lyrics to Iron Maiden's "Hallowed be thy Name"
I can certainly see the regrets coming in heavy in the future. Right now everything is new, but he might get bored and wind up with too much time to think. Between the lies and the family he gave up, he's going to have a lot of unhappy memories coming down the pike.
Still, well done on setting a mood and following through with a nice piece.
815965
Give this man a cookie. That it precisely what I was going for. Thanks for the insightful comment though. I'm glad you like it, and I can't wait to ride this whole thing screaming into the ground...so to speak.
Dang. I only clicked on your page to tell you you're not the only brony in the army, then decided to read one of your stories on a whim. This is actually a pretty decent HiE, though it's testing my suspension of disbelief with the whole 'he has a wife and son back on Earth' thing. It's a lot more developed and better written than most that I've seen.
Also I'm pretty sure you already know about this, but it took awhile to overwrite my mental image of nurse Joy as:
a2.ec-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/46/ae516b8c592c4c009d9399d8a0e8f78f/l.jpg
into:
fc00.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/079/d/a/colgate___pocket_pony_by_creshosk-d4tcbif.png
817931
Hehehe. I'm glad you are enjoying the story so far. And as far as the suspended disbelief and the whole family thing, keep in mind that to him this is a hallucination. You have a valid point, but I haven't gotten to that point in the story yet. And as for nurse Joy, you are right. It was intentional. Stick around, there is more to come.
818009
I find it fascinating that he still thinks it's a hallucination after all the pain he's experienced. Supposedly if you pinch yourself in a dream it won't hurt, though he imbibed a very concentrated amount of hallucinogenic alcohol, and since I have experience with neither lucid dreams nor alcohol, much less magic neon LSD alcohol, I'll roll with it.
Of course I'll stick around! This story has made its way onto my favorites list.
820949
Actually, Dave himself remarked on that during the first chapter. Something along the lines of hallucinations shouldn't hurt, our something similar. Regardless, more elaboration will follow
795413
"Old Ironsides" is also the nick of the U.S.S. Constitution, the oldest American ship in active service. I figured as much about your military status; I'm a bit young for active deployment, but I train with JROTC/CAP. Our summer encampment at USAFA got derailed by a wildfire, though...
825931
That ship is actually what inspired the name of the unit. And JROTC is an excellent head start in the military, especially with drill and ceremony and land navigation.
I must say I'm amazed by this story, it shows that HiE fics aren't all the same, and can be really good.... please continue.
I also think there are going to be broken hearts in the future, either from the human family or the "possible" pony family.
Decisions.. Decisions.. They make life hard
828536
Actually, that will be addressed in the next chapter...somewhat. A decision (of sorts) will be made, and the fallout of that decision is going to play an integral role within the Story, right through the end. I wonder when People will figure out that I put out a lot of hints to the upcoming chapter in my comments...and my blogs... Heh. But Shhh! It's a secret...don't tell anyone.
Indubitably.
Editor-in-(Master)Chief. LOL xD
Chapter 2
Spacing here is a little messed up.
Pretty sure that "A" is unneeded.
I think "know" should be plural, but not completely sure.
I know you are just continuing a broken up sentence here, but probably best to just forget the comma and capitalize.
That was all I caught, I am sure there are some more.
Chapter 2
Swallowing tables aye
Maybe tablets?
Also I can see a few mistakes like that but I am still reading your chapters so I can't be bothered with telling you the rest yet soz, but there is quite a few still in both chapter 1 and chapter 2.
OMG! I died laughing when I read the 'kiss it make it better' part, due to the fact that that is exactally what I do to my own girl.
Perfect!
Loving the story so far, but I noticed a bit of an author vs Character slip up in this chapter with the nurse mentioning times in military code "zero eight" and such instead of using the civilian standard of "eight in the morning" or "eight am" etc.
That is not how ungulate anatomy works. The "reverse knee" is the ankle.
Wha... Wha...
Dude, just watching the show should tell you the ponies can't contort themselves like that. They're flexible, but, off model gags aside, they're not flexible like humans.
TM - Torture Marked
:>
Ergh...
That is one thing you really need to change.
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