• Published 17th Jun 2012
  • 10,374 Views, 766 Comments

A Dream That Wasn't - Another Army Brony



What happens when a dream come true becomes a Nightmare?

  • ...
30
 766
 10,374

14: The Dungeon

Chapter Fourteen
The Dungeon

Joy left to do whatever it is that she did for her shift change, and I set off into the labyrinthine passages in the shadows of the hospital. With practiced ease, I made my way to the janitorial alcove to meet up with Technia and Brass, so I could get my assignments for the day. As I entered the nook that was our office, I was nearly slapped in the face by the musty odor of old parchment and dust. It was an overwhelming olfactory assault, the likes of which I hadn't experienced since my last visit to the library. Sprawled out across the desk was a sizeable and positively ancient looking scroll of parchment, and as I ventured nearer to investigate I managed to pick out the familiar contours of the hospital. So, it would appear that this was the original blueprint for this building. If this print wasn't original, then it had to have been done very soon after this place was built, seeing as how it was lacking the entire east wing and a few of the other nooks and crannies. If I had to guess, I'd say it was drawn before they'd been built.

Come to think of it, not only were there parts missing on this map, there were extra bits and pieces all over the place, thing like halls and alcoves among other things, things that I assumed had been walled over or turned into closets or the like. Once Brass spoke up, I realized that I really should never assume anything ever.

"Morning, Dave. You ready for today?"

"Indubitably, Brass. What's the mission?"

"Today, you are going to be getting a very special treat…" Brass paused dramatically in the middle of her sentence to cast a glance at Technia and then wink at me. This was either going to be really good, or really, REALLY bad. "… You are going to get to see some of the passages that very few other ponies even know about, ones that were built into the hospital when it was initially constructed. We don't use them as much as we used to, but they are still the most convenient way to get between most points in the building. And it just so happens that there are a few machines that you can't get to without them, so lucky you."

I was grinning from ear to ear at that. I'd get to explore forgotten secret passages? Score. "Alright, now I'm excited. When do we start?"

Technia answered this one, cutting off Brass' reply and earning a reproachful stare; one that was wasted on the back of Tech's head as she walked out the door.

"Follow me, Lugnut. There's a lot to learn and not much time to learn it."

I shrugged at Brass as I set off to follow my sensei, seeing the amusing sight of Brass' utter confusion while mouthing the word 'lugnut' to herself. I chuckled to myself as I set off in Tech's direction, not really feeling like being left behind. We navigated a few twists and turns to the maintenance access hallways in the bowels of the hospital, the same dank corridors that I'd been traversing since day one on the job. While they aren't technically secret or hidden, they are always deserted, save for the odd and awkward encounter with Sweeps as we passed each other every now and again. Having traveled these halls on a nearly daily basis for two weeks, it came as a tremendous surprise when Tech simply vanished into the shadows between two pipes.

So rapid was her disappearance that it was almost as if she had evanesced into thin air. That is, until the sound of hooves on a metal grate rang out from the shadows. I scampered into the darkness, not wanting to become lost, and in my haste I'd neglected to let my eyes adjust to the darkness. I looked down at the floor in hopes of avoiding a trip and fall, and it was because of this that I ran into the wall with the top of my head. Good thing, too… if that had been my nose, I would most likely have bled all over the place and never heard the end of it from Tech. in spite of my "good fortune", I now had a lump on the top of my head and a ringing in my ears. The stars were definitely not helping my night vision, either. From the darkness off to my right, I heard a soft "tsk-tsk" of disapproval.

"Come on, Lugnut. I haven't got all day. Here, I'll turn on a light for you so you aren't conducting impromptu inspections on the structural integrity of the walls." If that wasn't the nicest way to say 'running headlong into walls like an idiot’ that I'd ever heard, I'd eat my hat. And I wasn't even wearing a hat.

A soft crimson glow illuminated the wall in front of me, revealing the turn I should have taken and the moderately impatient mare standing just beyond. I walked over to Technia, using my wing to rub the knot on my head. With any luck, this would either not be big enough to draw Joy's attention, or it would be hidden by my mane.

Only time would tell though. In the meantime, my guide had turned and left without me, forcing me to trot quickly to catch up.

As we passed through the corridors that abruptly transitioned from metal to stone, I couldn't help but marvel at the sheer ridiculousness of it all. Ten minutes ago, I'd been in a relatively new hospital. Now? I was crawling through what could have been a medieval dungeon passageway. Luckily for me, though it was full of twists and turns, there weren't any branching passages for me to get lost in. The longer we trotted in the darkness, my eyes finally began to adjust to the ever-present gloom of the stone hallway, and I began to notice luminescent blocks of stone set into the wall every four or five steps, providing just enough illumination to see by. The pale green glow of the stone mixed with the crimson glow of Tech's horn and gave the whole scene a hellish-holiday color scheme. The more-than-slightly-creepy vibe of the place was starting to get to me until a brighter glow at the end of the hall gave me a boost of confidence.

We walked through the archway into a large and rather well lit room (though, admittedly, at this point a guttering candle would have seemed bright) with an enormous machine in the middle of it, softly hissing and clanking at a slow, steady pace. In my mind's eye it seemed like a massive, slumbering beast: the hiss of the steam, its respirations; the rhythmic clanking, its heartbeat. The room was a good deal warmer than the tunnel, though I was unable to ascertain whether this was due to the tunnel being cold as a result of being so far underground, or if the heat was a byproduct of the machine.

Regardless, the room was warmer than the tunnel and a bit brighter as well, lending the room a stuffy, slightly claustrophobic atmosphere. Without a word, Tech began to divest herself of her tool belt and saddlebags, and I figured it would be prudent of me to do the same. Not really being a mare to mince words, my sensei instructed me to hurry up before she clocked me with a wrench. The wrench in question was an almost comically large spanner wrench, hovering menacingly behind her. I dropped my saddlebags with haste and trotted over to her, eyeing the wrench suspiciously the whole time. As I drew to within two paces of Tech, the wrench jerked suddenly and violently in my direction. I dodged out of instinct, jumping backwards and flapping my wings mightily, sending me in a neat little back flip-style motion. Yeah, that was way too smooth to be a product of conscious thought on my behalf. I slid to a stop, feeling entirely too cocky at having dodged a blow like that in such spectacular fashion. Just as I raised my head to gloat, the trill of laughter floated to my ears, causing me to blink in confusion for a moment as I looked up as Tech.

Tech was utilizing the oversized wrench as a crutch to support herself, laughing maniacally at some joke only she was getting. At least for a moment, anyways… my mind finally put two and two together. She hadn’t thrown the wrench at me… she’d jerked it in my direction to spook me, and boy howdy, had it worked. In retrospect, my super-awesome back flip maneuver just seemed comical.

Dammit… why can’t I have cool stuff happen to me?

After blushing about twelve shades of red and a few purple ones too, I managed to regain my normal coloration at about the same time that Tech managed to stifle her chuckles. Tech took a deep breath to fully compose herself, wiping a tear from her eye as she did so.

“Dave, that was perhaps the single greatest over-reaction I have ever had the joy to experience. Such grace… that just made it even better. Oh, jeez… thank you for that, Dave. I needed a good laugh.”

“Yep. Glad I could help, Tech. So, aside from scaring the soup out of me, what’s the plan for today?”

“What soup? I didn’t see you drop anything… other than your pride, that is.”

I waved this off casually, pretending my ego wasn't still a bit sore. “Meh, ‘tis not important. And what is this ‘pride’ of which you speak?”

“I thought as much. Anyways, we're going to be crawling inside this beast of a machination over here so I can show you the most likely source of any problems that might arise with it.”

I wasn't sure I was entirely warm and fuzzy about climbing inside a giant mechanical monstrosity, but after my last display I needed to save face. Play it cool, Dave. “Okay. So, what is this thing we’re about to crawl into?”

“This is the Automated Steam Supply mechanism.”

I did a double take. “Wait, stop the wagon. The Automated Steam Supply? We’re going to be crawling inside something called the A-S-S?”

Technia looked at me for a moment, as if she was trying to figure out what the disconnect was. “Yes, we’re going to be crawling into the A-S-S; I just said as much. So what don’t you get?”

I did my best to keep a straight face. “Oh, nothing, nothing. So, I gather that this is going to be a rather… tight space, are we going to need to lube up before we try and slip in?”

Tech just gave me the “penis growing out of forehead” look for a second more before responding, apparently still not having caught on to the joke.

“Well, it is going to be a tight fit, especially with the two of us in there; I’ve never had anypony else in there at the same time that I was… but you need to be in there too so you can see what I’m doing. Even so, I don’t see the need to grease ourselves up to get in the access port. I can get in there with my wrench without an issue.”

By this point, I simply had no idea whatsoever how I was keeping a straight face. This… this was too good to be real. Was she really not getting the innuendo, or was she just as good at keeping a straight face as I (apparently) was? Either way, this was too good not to keep going. (Insert “that’s what she said” here)

“So, what you’re telling me is that you can fit that massive tool in there without an issue? That’s impressive.”

Without a moment's hesitation, she dropped this one on me with a straight face. “Years of practice.”

And then I lost it. I lost every last shred of composure as I quite literally rolled on the floor, laughing. Further fueling my maniacal laughter was the groan of comprehension and the sound of a facehoof that came from Tech. It would seem that she had finally caught on. I managed to stifle my jubilation in record time, mostly out of desire to see Tech’s reaction to the simply magnificent exchange that had taken place.

Her face still hidden behind her hoof, Tech slowly shook her head as she drew in a long, deep breath and let out an exasperated sigh. I found myself suddenly unsure of what I’d done, wondering if I’d crossed a line or gone too far, done something that would culminate in my termination from the hospital staff. The last of my guffaws died in my throat and my smile froze upon my face, a plaster cast hiding my unease. Tech sighed again, shaking her head once more as she lowered her hoof to look up at me.

Her grin was one that spoke of both defeat and commendation; she was beaten and quite impressed by it.

“Alright lugnut, are you done yet? You got me with that one; it was pretty funny, actually. Even so, we have work to do. Pull yourself together, and let’s get started, shall we?”

“Okay, I’ll try to get a hold of myself before I slip into the A-S-S.”

Tech just hung her head with a sigh as she turned to walk away. Try as she might to hide it, I could still see the grin on her face as she walked away. The next several hours passed in predictable fashion, with the exception of the actual entrance to the A-S-S. I found it difficult to imagine that Tech hadn’t done this intentionally. The entrance to the mechanism was a very small porthole tucked betwixt a large pair of accumulation tanks, tanks that for some reason were almost egg shaped and bore a striking resemblance to a posterior. I brought this up to Tech, and she did something unprecedented: she blushed. As she blushed, she hastily spewed some technical explanation about the shape of the accumulation tanks and the positioning of the entrance, but I was too busy chuckling to myself to pay much heed to her words.

Technia groaned in frustration as she stalked off, and I figured I’d better cut back on the shenanigans before I caught a wrench with my face. Tech led the way to the entrance, threading her way between the tanks to a small hatch just beyond.

Hanging on pegs just above the hatch was a pair of gas masks, and without a word Tech took one and floated the other to me. I fit the mask to my face fairly easily, though tightening the straps would have been a bit more time consuming had Tech not stepped up with her magic. I nearly jumped out of my skin when I heard a mare’s voice coming from right beside me, spinning rapidly to get a better look at the one who’d snuck up on me. I whirled around to face this new mare, but there was nopony there. How the…? Then came the sound of laughter, ringing out from the same close proximity that the words had. At this point, I just happened to be looking at Tech and noticed her mouth moving in time with the chuckling in my ear.

About that time, I realized that the chuckling had a familiar tone and pitch. And roger. I’d just been trolled by a radio. Had I really been in Ponyville that long? I wasn’t afforded the opportunity to follow this train of thought; Tech’s voice once again split the silence and beckoned my attention.

Tech was the first to slip into the machine, and as much as I wanted not to look, I couldn’t help but steal a few glances at her flanks as she wriggled through the opening. In the back of my mind, there was a greasy, sketchy looking pony sitting in a dark corner and rubbing his hooves together with a disquieting grin. Oh, the joys of having lecherous ponies living in your mind… It was my turn next, and as much shimmying as it had taken Tech to get in, it took me thrice as much to gain entrance to the operation console for the machine. I took a moment to both ponder why the controls had to be buried within the machine, and to contemplate actually using some lube next time. For all my joking, it really was a tight squeeze to get into the A-S-S. Yeah, yeah… yuck it up all you like, but the jokes were not nearly as funny in hindsight.

Heh. Hindsight.

Once inside, Tech slowly walked me through the dazzling array of dancing needles and shiny knobs. Oh, and big shiny levers, too. Can’t forget about those.

The inside of the machine was a somewhat spacious cylinder; tall enough for me to stand at my full height without pinging my skull off of any pipes, and wide enough in diameter that Tech and I weren’t pressed up against each other, though only just. The portal to the chamber was set into the wall and flush with the floor, so that when you climbed into the chamber, you had to slide in on your stomach and then stand up. The area around the entry was a rats’ nest of pipes and conduit where the feeds and returns fed into the chamber from their respective sources. The entire inside of the mechanism was composed of what appeared to be brass, though it was a bit hard to tell. The single source of illumination was a dim light recessed in the ceiling, casting its sickly yellow illumination around the chamber with barely enough power to chase away the blackest of shadows. With the exception of the control panel set into the wall opposite the entry, shadows reigned supreme. The dials and gauges were lit from within by a strange green glow, reminiscent of a chemlight in hue.

Tech took her time to teach me the various gauges and their function, explaining a little about what each one was for before moving on to the next. After running through the configuration for only the second time, I was able to identify nearly all of the levers and gauges as Tech pointed to them, and even the ones I misnamed weren’t that far off. Calling a knob a ‘steam restrictor’ instead of a ‘steam limiter’ and such. One thing that struck me as odd about the inside of the machine was how quiet it was compared to the outside. Even ruling out the probability of a noise reduction spell in the magical skullduggery that was the radio on my head, my chest was not vibrating with the same intensity it had been when I was standing outside.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A few hours later, and I couldn’t help but take note of the fact that everything had gone smoothly so far today (at least for the most part). At least it had up until this point, I pretty much figured it was inevitable that something would go terribly wrong in the near future; a thought that proved to be a self fulfilling prophesy. No sooner had I contemplated this than my nose began to itch. I reached up to scratch it, finding that there was a gas mask in the way. I scrunched up my nose, wiggling it in an attempt to relieve the building sensation.

“Hey, Tech?”

“Yeah? What’s up, Lugnut?”

“Is there any specific reason that we are wearing these masks?”

“Well, these feed pipes go deep into the ground, and sometimes toxic gasses seep out and collect in this confined space. There’s no way to predict it, hence the masks as a preventative measure.”

In yet another corner of my mind (which apparently has more corners than a rhombicosidodecahedron, a 62 sided abomination of a shape) there was a pony positively mummified in yellow reflective belts, offering a pearl of wisdom.

“Preventative measure? The only thing you need is a PT belt.”

Well… that was… helpful?

The itch on my nose was living up to an axiom that I’d heard once upon a time; ‘The severity of an itch is inversely proportional to your ability to reach it.’ I tried to push all of the unnecessary thoughts out of my head as I tried to focus on an expedient solution to this problem.

Even so, I felt an edge of stress creeping into my voice. “So Tech, is there any way to determine the lethality of the atmosphere?”

She tapped her hoof on the filter canister of her mask, apparently evaluating. “Well… yes, but it’s not very effective. Besides, it doesn’t monitor the gasses that may seep out from around the pipe. One minute it’s fine, the next… not so much.”

“Ah, well then. I’ll just be waiting outside in that case.”

Without another word, I turned and flung myself through the portal and into the open space beyond. At least, that’s what would have happened if I hadn’t gonged my head off of one of the pipes that snaked across the top of the cylindrical work chamber. The itch on my face was so powerful that it was not just a feeling anymore; it was a ringing in my ears and a blurring of my vision that made the walls seem to shimmer. What was happening to me, why was I acting all crazy? I felt my feathers crawl as I once more attempted to scratch my nose from where I’d landed on the floor; once more was I thwarted by the mask. I pawed at the mask with zealous vigor, and I was rewarded with a flood of relief as the mask bowed just enough to caress my itchy nose, reducing the severity of the itch significantly, though not alleviating it. As I pulled myself to my hooves and resorted to the face-scrunching-technique to scratch my itch, I could see Tech eyeing me with a bemused smirk.

“What? My nose itches, and I can’t get to it because of this mask, and it is driving me CRA--… oooh. That’s nice.”

My complaining was interrupted mid-gripe with a soft glow from Technia’s horn. Frigging unicorns and their frigging cheating magic. As the charcoal mare finished scratching the itch on my nose, I breathed a deep sigh of relief at being freed of the frustrating sensation upon my snout. As relief flowed through me, I had a moment of silence to myself before Tech spoke up.

“Better?”

I sighed in satisfaction. “Much. Thank you.”

“Not a problem. But next time… just ask, alright? Hey, Technia, could you scratch my nose?’ ‘Not a problem at all, good buddy of mine.’ Simple as that, and it would have prevented bad things from happening. I wasn’t sure whether I should smite you with the wrench or not, but luckily for you, I didn’t. This is a very small space to have a pony wig out in, so you weren’t leaving me many options.”

“Heh… yeah… I could have thought that one through a bit more. Thanks for not smiting me with the wrench.”

At the mention of the wrench, she floated it in front of her menacingly. “Yeah, you could have. And really, why do you think I even brought this in here?”

“I was wondering about that, actually… figured it would be better not to ask.”

“Yeah, well… what say you we get out of here and get some lunch?”

In response to the thought of food, my stomach growled quite loudly. “Yeah, I think that’d be best. Ladies first?”

“And give you the pleasure of staring at my backside again? Nope, you go first this time. That way, I can kick you if you get stuck.”

Had she noticed? I didn't see her looking back at me, though I supposed it was a possibility. Even thinking about it was enough to make my cheeks burn with a blush. Thank goodness the mask, well, masked the view. “Erm… yeah… about that… I’d prefer not to be kicked in the buns if at all possible.”

She merely shrugged. “Well, we’ll see how easily you get out of the porthole. I reserve that option, though.”

“Ah… well, I suppose.”

I took a deep sigh and breathed out heavily, emptying my lungs of air to make myself a bit narrower before I took the plunge. I wriggled through the small opening with much less difficulty that I had going in, a fact I attributed to the slight sheen of sweat I’d built up from being in such a confined space for so long. Even so, it took me plenty long enough to extricate myself from the chamber to catch Tech thinking naughty things. I may not have been able to see what she was doing or what faces she was making, but that did nothing to mute the mike in her gas mask; I heard her mumble something to the effect of ‘that’s nice’ or similar as I was trying to make my hips fit through the port hole. I didn’t mind nearly as much as I thought I should, though this wasn’t particularly troubling. It’s nice to know my physique wasn’t fading so soon.

I slipped free with an audible “pop” as I tumbled to the floor. I gathered my senses and clambered back to my hooves just in time to witness Tech slink out of the portal with all the grace of a feline; she seemed to flow out of the chamber as if she were something less than solid.

I’d like to see Joy do that… from behind.

I found myself nodding in agreement for a second before I realized the voice was back.

Yeah, I would too… wait, DAMMIT. Go away, you.

What? Why? Not only was I not referring to the slinky mare in front of you or the grey one who tastes like honey instead of your marefriend, but you friggin agreed with me. I call shenanigans.

Call whatever you like, I still don’t like the fact that there’s a voice in my head that’s dirtier than I am.

You love me and you know it.

I beg to differ. Shoo! I have things to do.

Or ponies…

Bugger off!

Laughter was my only reply as the voice faded back to the depths from whence it came. In keeping with the established precedents, I came back to the world with the distinct impression that I had just missed something important. The way that Tech stared at me expectantly for a moment before groaning in frustration and hanging her head supported this conclusion.

“Huh? What’d I miss?”

“Never mind, just follow me and try not to get lost. Oh, and take off the mask and put it back where you found it.”

After a moment of struggling with the straps I was finally freed of the mask, and yet another moment later it had been returned to its proper place on the peg above the portal. The journey back to the surface was much the same as the descent, and it passed in the same near silence as before. I’d given up on trying to figure out what I’d missed as I was arguing with myself when I received a less-than-friendly reply from Tech. So, apparently she wasn’t happy about being ignored. We emerged from the small access tunnel into the glare of the janitorial thoroughfare, the light proving to be too much for my eyes to cope with after the darkness of the passage.

As I blinked the light away and waited for my eyes to adjust to the glare, Tech dismissed me for lunch with instructions to meet back up at the office at thirteen for the second set of instruction. I muttered something to the affirmative as I furtively batted my eyes to chase away the stars. By the time I could see straight, Tech was nowhere in sight. I met up with Joy for lunch, where we traded stories and such as we ate. Joy was quite intrigued at the notion of the secret passages, her mind wandering and her cheeks flushing as she contemplated things she probably shouldn’t. Calling her on it earned me a hoof upside the head and a truly astounding flush of color from Joy.

As we ate, we sat side by side, so close as to be touching. I reveled in her every caress… the soft touch of her mane as she turned her head to look at someone calling out to her… the warmth of her body against mine… the way she smiled at me and nuzzled my neck when I told her how beautiful she looked… I wouldn’t trade this for the world. In fact, I had pretty much traded my world for this… and I couldn’t be happier. I felt my heart swell with this inexplicable feeling; a mixture of dread, desire, contentment, and longing. I wanted her in every way possible, and yet I was afraid that I might do something to hurt her. I was as happy as I’d ever been, swept along by the raging tide of infatuation, and yet I still felt as if there was something missing. This beautiful, gloriously stupid conglomeration of emotional contradictions called love had me inexorably in its grasp. Joy once more nuzzled my neck with a smile, and I took the opportunity to place a quick peck on her forehead.

Joy pulled herself away from my neck, fixing me with a kind smile and a positively sultry gaze. As I stared back into her glistening azure eyes, I could feel my pulse begin to race and my cheeks flush.

The emotions within me were crashing against my heart like swells against a rocky shore, and the sheer volume of emotion I possessed for this mare seemed to be impossible. Surely, this couldn’t be real, this overwhelming feeling. I could almost feel myself being swept away into the light by this flood of desire and happiness. I stared into her eyes as she stared into mine, and the connection between us seemed nearly tangible in its intensity. My heart was beating at fever pitch as this feeling threatened to take over. I found myself slowly leaning in to kiss her, and she was doing the same. We inched ever closer, the anticipation building as the proximity decreased, our ardor magnified a thousand-fold by the emotions raging within. We leaned in farther, mere centimeters from contact, then millimeters… I could feel the warmth of her lips even before they met mine…

The clanging of a bell shattered the mood into a thousand little bits as we were jolted from our reverie. Joy and I sat there for a moment, a hair’s breadth apart, blinking blankly as we tried to get our minds back from the tides of emotion that threatened to carry them away. On an impulse, I leaned forward ever so lightly, placing a tender kiss upon Joy’s lips. This was all it took to snap her back to the present, drawing an adorable smile and a slight blush from her. We gathered up the remnants of our lunch as we scrambled to get back to work, parting with another kiss at the door to the cafeteria. No sooner had Joy left before I began to miss her, and if not for an already-upset Technia waiting for me at the office, I might just have followed her. As it was, I had to turn and set off for the office to make my appointment in time. As I walked, my mind roamed.

That feeling… I knew what that feeling was. I’d never felt it so powerfully before, but I knew what it was. Could it really be that I’d fallen so far so quickly? This wasn’t infatuation; this feeling had a different texture than puppy love or mere infatuation. Was this… was this love? Even thinking the word made my spine tingle as I fought to convince myself that it wasn’t, that it couldn’t be… and yet, I kept coming back to that dreaded “L” word. Crap, if I was even contemplating that word so soon in this relationship… well, there was probably no hope for me.

My contemplation was cut short as I rounded the corner to Brass’s office, as I forced my mind back into work mode through an effort of will. I met up with Tech and we set out to the next machine concealed in the passages and annals of the building. The rest of the day passed in a blur as I attempted to absorb as much of the knowledge presented to me as I possibly could. By the end of my shift my head was spinning slightly, but I definitely felt that there was progress being made in my education. I caught up with Joy at the door to the hospital, just before she set out for class. I gave her a quick kiss before she departed, wishing her good luck at school. She smiled and thanked me as she was swept away by, and subsequently absorbed into, the crowd.

I made my daily rounds to Berry’s Smoothies to get another punch on my card and got a smoothie to go. Berry looked a little sad that I wasn’t going to be sticking around for a while, but I told her that I might be back later that evening and she perked right up. After acquiring a smoothie, I set out on a beeline for the Library, aiming to get there before it closed for the night. I walked in and the bell on the door chimed to indicate my presence, drawing a muffled greeting from the back of the library somewhere. I made my way to the reference section and picked out a book on aerobatic maneuvers for beginners and proceeded to the checkout counter, where I met a tired looking little dragon.

“Hey Spike. What’s up?”

Perhaps it was because he was tired, or maybe he wasn’t familiar with the expression, but my greeting was met by a puzzled look for a moment before the little dude turned his head upwards and stared at the ceiling for a second before answering.

“Uh… the ceiling?”

“That it is, Spike. That it is. So, what’s new with you and Twi?”

He crossed his arms and huffed. “Bah, Twilight is doing a check on her checklist that she uses to check the checklist for the library.”

“That sounds… daunting. You guys can have fun with that one.”

“Are you kidding me? That’s not what I call fun at all. Give me a chocolate shake with emerald sprinkles any day.” He rubbed his belly and licked his lips, momentarily lost in the imagined ecstasy.

I nodded in agreement, though I was fairly certain that emeralds would be distinctly less pleasant for me to ingest than they would be for Spike. “Yeah, I have to agree with you on that one. So, can you check out a book, or is that Twilight’s job?”

He scowled at me, a gesture that was pretty well ruined by the fact that he was adorable. “No, I can do it. Who do you think does it when she’s out with the other five?”

“Good point, I hadn’t thought about that.”

The young drake shrugged. “Yeah, most ponies don’t. I don’t mind it though… the quiet is nice.”

“I can imagine, after all of the craziness that happens around here.”

He nodded, a small smile upon his face. “Yeah, this place gets weird sometimes. Is this the only book you want?”

“That’s it for me.”

“Alright then, you’re all set. Anything else comes up, I’ll be in the back with Twilight.”

I turned to leave, waving farewell to the little dragon. “Sounds good. I’ll see you later, Spike.”

“See ya.”

I tucked the book into my saddlebags and set off for home, planning to get some reading done before Joy came back from class. Having finished my smoothie at some point between Berry’s and the library, I stopped in to get another for the trek home. Problem? Who’s got a problem? I am not addicted to the smoothies, I just really like them. A lot. I walked into the smoothie joint at about a quarter till eighteen hundred, finding the area to be empty, save for Berry and I.

“Back so soon, Flyboy? I knew you couldn’t stay away. The usual?”

“What? The smoothies are really good… and yeah, but I’ll need that to go as well.”

Berry pouted exaggeratedly. “Awww… don’t want to spend any time with me tonight?”

“I can’t, unfortunately. I have some reading to catch up on.”

“Huh? I didn’t know you could read.”

I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, I’m full of surprises like that.”

Berry cocked an eyebrow suggestively, leaning forward to rest her elbows on the counter and her chin in her hooves and a cocky smirk on her lips. “Oh, are you now? I’d like to see some of these surprises… “

“Actually, those are classified trade secrets. Can’t go around having everypony knowing my surprises, right? It’d take all the fun out of it.”

She went back to pouting. “Oh, poo. You’re no fun.”

I shrugged smiling a bit at my ability to successfully banter without putting a hoof in my mouth. “I never claimed to be, my dear. That was all you.”

“I blame you, regardless. It’s better that way.”

I simply wing-shrugged. “If you say so. So, smoothie, yes?”

With an exaggerated bow, she swished away to the blender. “Coming right up, your highness.”

Puffing out my chest, I stood as regally as I could. “Your highness? I like it, you can call me that from now on.”

“Ha ha ha. How about no.”

My shoulders slumped, though I couldn't help but grin. “I figured it couldn’t hurt to ask. After all, it never hurts to ask… unless you’re asking for a whooping.”

At this, Berry turned around with a smoothie, a definite expression of interest, and an unsettling grin. “Like spanking?”

Taking the smoothie and tucking it into a saddlebag, I turned towards the door. “Not quite, but close enough. I’ve got to go, Berry, but I’ll see you tomorrow.”


“You’d better,” she called out to me. I think it was supposed to come out as a threat, but it ended up sounding more like a supplication than anything.

I grinned, looking back over my shoulder to wave. “Easy, killer. Have a good night.”

“You too, Dave.”

I once more set out the door, striking off in the direction of home. As I contemplated the book that was tucked away in my saddlebag, I couldn’t fight the smile or the extra pep in my step as I walked home. The thought of soaring through the clouds, swooping, diving, and rolling… it was enough to speed up my pulse just by contemplating it. Next time I went to take a test flight, I’d be prepared. With a grin from ear to ear that I was powerless to fight, I picked up my pace and hurried home.

Two and a half hours later, I flung myself onto the couch in exhaustion and frustration. I’d scoured my way through the first chapter of the book, somehow compelling myself to keep turning the page as time wore on. To say that this text was “dry” would be like saying that Fluttershy is a bit “timid”, or that Twilight is “pretty smart”. My eyes were watering by the time I finished the introduction, and I knew that I was going to be in for a struggle if I wanted to finish this text. Even after the little bit that I’d read, my eyes were spinning in my skull and my brain seemed like it was going to overflow with everything I’d read. I figured I’d be in for some brightly colored pictures and simplistic dialogue, and while I wasn’t wrong, I found myself coming across words that made no sense in their context. Ailerons were part of an airplane, not of a pegasus… right? And pinions? What do car parts have to do with flight? Oh, what I wouldn’t have given for ten minutes with internet access at this point.

I don’t really know how long I was lying on the couch and watching figures and words float across the ceiling, but my burned-out mind finally registered the sound of the door closing, followed by hoofsteps in my direction. A form plopped itself down beside me, lying down with a heavy sigh. I couldn’t help but smile as the scent of wintergreen washed over me. I turned my head to smile at my couch-mate.

“Rough day, love?”

Joy released an exasperated sigh. “It wasn’t so much rough as it was draining. So very many notes to copy down, my horn felt like it was going to melt. But, that’s medical school for you. How was your day since we parted ways?”

I shrugged. “Not very entertaining. I missed you a lot though, so I’m happy you’re back.”

“Awww, you’re so sweet. I must confess, I found myself thinking about you during a lecture.”

I propped myself up on one elbow to get a better look at this lovely mare. “Really? Was it a lecture on the studliest pegasi that have ever lived?”

“Heh, not so much. It was a lecture on the long term effects of traumatic brain injuries.”

I should have seen that coming. “Oooh. Ouch… Hehehe. That’s harsh.”

She took to stroking my shoulders in a conciliatory gesture. “I know! I felt bad for thinking it, but it matches you to a fault… I’m sorry Dave… “

I smiled back up at her. “Sorry? For what? Like you said, it matched me. I think about you whenever I see an aurora blue, this isn’t really any different.”

“Well… I suppose so. But still, I feel bad that whenever I hear about brain damage, the first thing I think of is you."

An idea flashed into my head, one that was entirely too devious to pass up "Guess I'm not the only one with dain bramage."

Joy's brow immediately furrowed. "What's that supposed to—I didn't say that, I said brain damage!"

Raising an eyebrow, I looked her dead in the eye. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. I think I would know what I said." Matching my stare, she refused to back down. Even so, I could see the twinkle of doubt.

I shrugged and set the hook. "Well, if that's what you believe, then I can't argue with you."

"But… it is what I said… isn't it?"

I shrugged again. "Well… is it or isn't it?"

"I… I think so? Now I'm all confused… Dave, what did I say?"

I couldn't keep a straight face anymore. Grinning, I fessed up to my shenanigans. "You said it right; I just like to mess with you."

I was met by silence… never a good sign. I pulled myself up to a sitting position to get a better look at Joy, but my progress was interrupted by a loud "whoosh" sound before my vision went white and I saw stars.

Funny, but I could have sworn that I was sitting up a second ago. Why am I looking at the ceiling? And why does my mouth taste funny?

Spitting a little bit, I could see that the strange taste was due to the fact that I had about a half-dozen feathers in my mouth.

That's odd… I don't recall losing any feathers… and these ones are white, besides.

About that time, everything sort of clicked. The stars, the ceiling, the feathers… Joy had walloped me good with a pillow. Yeah, I probably should have seen that one coming. About as swiftly as I had put the pieces together in my mind, I came across another pearl of an idea… I was going to get hit for this one too, I was sure of it… but that wasn't about to deter me.

I lay stock still as the seconds ticked by, and kept one eye cracked ever so slightly so I knew when to make my move. Soon enough, a cautious Joy appeared over me, checking to see if I was alright. I'd been hit harder than that before, but that didn't change the fact that it was still a hefty strike of a pillow. Joy suspected something was up, and so she kept her distance at first, poking me cautiously with a hoof as she levitated a pillow nearby. Demonstrating a level of patience that I'd be hard-pressed to muster under any other circumstance, I just lay still. Caution soon gave way to worry, and Joy dropped the pillow as she leaned in to examine me closer.

It was then that I struck.

I lunged forward, wrapping my hooves and my wings around Joy and effectively immobilized her. My momentum carried me up and over her, so that when we landed, I was on top. Joy was still in shock from the sudden movement, still trying to process what was happening even as I pressed my attack. Using the knuckle-joint on my wings to pin her arms over her head and using my legs to straddle her thighs and keep them immobile, I had her just where I wanted her. She was still blinking the confusion away when I launched my attack, rendering her entirely helpless and at my mercy.

I began to blow raspberries on her stomach.

Confusion gave way to maniacal laughter as the squirmed and struggled to get free, laughing so hard she cried as she begged me to stop. I relented for a second to let her catch her breath before I started again, drawing squeals and protests anew. I was getting out of breath myself, so I paused in my assault to take a few deep breaths when something caught my eye.

Standing in the doorway was a very… confused looking Dawn. I took a second to assess the situation.

I was straddling her daughter on the couch. I was out of breath and red in the face. Joy had been screaming and laughing and squealing a moment ago, and was currently breathing very heavily. The couch had been squeaking like a dozen mice in a heated argument. (Presumably about cheese, one would think.)

Yep. This looked bad.

How was I going to explain this without dying?

Just show her what you were doing. Easier than talking, which you suck at anyways.

And why would I listen to you?

I have a vested interest in your survival, stupid. Got a better idea?

Well… no.

Thought so. Well, hop to it.

I sent a silent prayer to the Princesses. Should I die for this mistake, I pray the Sisters my soul to take.

I dove right back into the soft azure belly before me, eliciting a renewed squeal of delight and torment from the mare in front of me. Despite my apprehension, hearing Joy laughing and begging made it impossible for me not to smile. I paused again to deliver my ultimatum to Joy.

"Do you surrender? I can do this all night."

Joy's response was broken by her gasps for air and her lingering giggle-fits. "I… I suh… surrender."

I smiled in satisfaction. "Okay. Do you want me to stop now?"

"Yes, I… I do."

I wasn't done toying with her just yet though. "Do what?"

"Want you… want you to… to stop."

"I didn't hear a 'please' anywhere in there. Manners, m'lady."

"Puh… please stop."

"That's better. Now, as soon as you say the magic words, you will be free. The magic words are as follows: Dave is the most awesome, coolest, most certainly non-dain-bramaged pony I've ever met, and he rocks my socks. Now, it's your turn."

"I have to pee," she pleaded.

I shrugged. "Close enough. Be free!"

I clambered to the side of Joy to allow her to escape, which she did quite quickly before she vanished into the hallway. A moment after she left, Dawn approached from the shadowy corner she'd been standing in.

"I have to admit, when I came down the stairs, this is not what I expected to find."

I rubbed the back of my neck. "Yeah… I'm sorry for that. I didn't mean to worry you."

"Awkwardness aside, it's good to see the two of you having fun like that. I can't tell you the last time I'd seen her laugh like that, how happy I am to see her like this. You two are an adorable couple, and I wish you both nothing but the best. "

I smiled widely at the compliment. "I feel pretty special that I can give her back some of the happiness that she gives me, and thank you."

A toilet flushed upstairs and the sound of a running sink sprang to life for a moment before being cut off. A door closed and steps echoed off the stairs as Joy made her way back to the living room.

"Dave?"

I looked away from the hallway where I was expecting Joy to meet Dawn's gaze. "Yes, Dawn?"

"Take care of my daughter."

"Until my dying breath." And I meant it.

Dawn caught me with a hard glare as her mom-senses tried to find any sign of deception on my face. Finding none, her face softened into a weary smile as she gave me a slight nod. I returned the nod just as Joy walked into the living room. She cast a glance at her mom and then to me, trying to piece together what had happened while she was answering the call of nature. I gave Joy a reassuring smile, and that seemed to be enough. She came over to us and gave us both a hug, which Dawn and I happily returned. Dawn bid us all a good night and set off for her room. As soon as Dawn had walked around the corner and out of sight, Joy took a hoof to the backside of my head. I turned to look at her to ask what that was for, but I was interrupted by the kiss that was waiting for me.

As the kiss broke, I pulled away and cocked my head in confusion.

"Dave, you're a jerk for messing with my head like that. I knew I hadn't said 'dain bramage', but you made me question myself… not cool. However, you are a very lovable jerk, so I forgive you."

"Well… thanks?"

She nodded primly. "You're welcome. That tickling was pretty exhausting… you ready for bed?"

"Yeah, I'm rather bushwhacked as well."

My response caused her to do a double take. "Bush… where do you even come up with these words?"

"I thought we'd already established that I have a spectacular vernacular."

She jabbed a hoof at me. "See! Like that right there. I've heard most of these words before, but I couldn't use them in a sentence like you do."

"It's a gift."

"It's a… you know what, never mind. It hurts my head to think about it."

With that, we lapsed into an easy silence, letting all of our troubles and concerns just float away to the sound of a brush being pulled through a mane.

The next day started off much the same as the day before, though with fewer doors being opened in my face. The entirety of my morning was spent walking on eggshells and ducking for cover at the smallest sound, something that Tech found first amusing and then annoying as the day wore on. I couldn't help it… it was Wednesday, and I was trapped in a series of small areas with Tech. The very same mare who said, and I quote, "It's just not Wednesday unless something blows up. Not sure why, it just seems to happen that way." You can see why I'd be a little on-edge. We broke for lunch a little early, my skittishness beginning to wear on Tech's nerves a bit. Joy and I had a nice lunch together, sharing a bit of small talk and more than a few nuzzles as we whiled away our lunch.

All too soon the bell rang and signaled the end of the lunch break, and Joy and I found ourselves joining the masses as we went to relieve our counterparts for chow. I'd returned to the office with a fatalistic outlook on the rest of the day… something was going to explode, that much I just accepted and moved on. Once I had resigned myself to being blown up, it was actually a liberating experience. No longer was I cowering whenever Tech removed a cover or threw a switch, instead I was by her side. I figured if something was going to explode, then she would most likely know the safest place to stand.

By sixteen-hundred, I was beginning to wonder if there was even going to be an explosion on this Wednesday, or if it would happen when Technia got home. That was when it happened.

Technia was showing me the internal workings of the HVAC that had gone down on the day we'd first met, explaining how the heat exchanger worked to heat the air in the winter. She had just mentioned that the air filter needed to be cleaned at least monthly or it could become clogged, and was in the process of taking the cover off to expose the air filter. She was down to the last screw, explaining something about torque when everything exploded.

No, this was not an explosion of flames and soot; it was an explosion of dirt and dust bunnies large enough to have gained sentience. For some inexplicable reason, I'd decided to stand directly in front of the cover as it was unscrewed, instead of off to the side like Tech was doing. When the cover plate popped free, the yellow plate shot out and caught me fully in the chest, knocking me back into the wall as everything went grey and sneezy.

Apparently, there was also a possibility that if the filter wasn't cleaned regularly, the dust would just pile up and by some unknown mechanism become highly pressurized. Good to know.

It took nearly forty minutes to clean up the dust-splosion, and by the time it was over and done with, so was our shift. I was still dislodging dust bunnies from my mane as I walked out to meet Joy. I decided it would be best for me to wait outside, seeing as how I had a cloud of dust coming off of me like that one kid from Peanuts. Joy walked towards me with a smile, but stopped a few paces short as she caught sight of my new grayish appearance. I briefly recounted my experience with the air filter, drawing a good, hearty laugh from her at my expense. After blowing me a kiss and demanding that I take a shower before she got home (like it was even necessary), Joy set off for class. I stood there for a moment longer as I watched her leave, basking in the fading light of the setting sun before I turned and set off for home. Once I'd showered and returned to my usual hue (and then unclogged the drain), I set off to get some brain fuel for the night ahead.

After consuming my customary smoothie and chatting with Berry for a bit, I scampered off to the library to browse through a dictionary or two before they closed. The chime that signaled my entrance to the library went unanswered, a fact that I found to be rather odd. I was contemplating this as I sought out and found the information I required, deciding to swing by the checkout counter to investigate. I rounded the corner and stopped short, the sight before me entirely too precious to disturb. Spike was passed out on the checkout counter in the middle of a forest of books. From the stamp still clutched in his claws, I guessed he was adding new books to the inventory when his sleepiness got the better of him. I smiled at this adorable little dragon and made my way out as quietly as I could.

Once outside, I set off to get another smoothie and mull over what I'd learned. Once situated properly, I thought back on the book I'd read yesterday. As it turned out, my suspicions about what an aileron was were correct; they were the feathers on the end of the wing that pretty much controlled flight. By altering their position, I could pitch my body up or down, and by altering them in differing amounts or directions, I could roll to the left or right. Combining this with my tail and my legs to control yaw, I knew how to control my position along all three axis… at least, in theory. The other thing I'd learned was that the pinion was the last joint in the wing. It didn't make sense to me until I looked at the diagram and compared it to my arm… or, what used to be my arm. The shoulder was the same on both, and I couldn't remember what the fancy name for elbow was, but what would have been my wrist was called a pinion on the wing. In conjunction with altering the ailerons, extending or retracting my pinions could help me sped up or slow down, help me roll quicker, and provide additional lift for landing.

I picked a spot far enough away from the door that I wasn't bothered by the customers coming and going, and was rewarded by a couple hours of nearly uninterrupted contemplation as I tried to visualize performing the maneuvers described by the text. More than once, I extended a wing to see what a certain movement was supposed to look like, and a couple times I was rewarded with a shocked gasp or an uneasy blush from an unwary patron. Apparently, there is simply no way ever whatsoever that a pegasus will extend a wing unless aroused. Nope, it never ever happens ever. I sighed, internally lamenting silly ponies and their misguided preconceptions.

I had just finished running down the list of simple aerobatic maneuvers that I'd learned the night prior, and was plotting out how best to try them out when a familiar grey pegasus walked in. I caught her eye, and she joined me at my booth with a huge grin.

Honey.

Not this again.

There was no further response from the voice, but there didn't need to be. With that one word, a flood of memories, feelings, taste, and emotions crashed over me. I smiled at Derpy in spite of my inner turmoil. After all, it wasn't her fault and I didn't want to hurt her feelings by looking upset right as she sat down, especially after I'd invited her over.

"How's it going, you?"

She smiled at me, an adorable expression. "Better now, Dave. It's nice to see you again."

"And the same to you. Are you done with your route for the day?"

"I was finished with that hours ago. This town isn't very big, and I've had the same route for years."

I nodded once. "Makes sense to me." At this point, I was struck by a flash of inspiration. "Hey Derpy… you are a pretty good flyer, right?"

She shrugged at this. "Except when I crash, but usually I'm alright. Why?"

"I was wondering if you'd help me try some new aerobatics. I've never done them before, and it'd be nice if I had somepony I trusted looking out for me and giving me pointers."

She seemed slightly taken aback, blushing a bit as she replied "I'm flattered, but why me? Aren't there better flyers you could ask?"

I conceded the point. "There are, but I trust you to only laugh a little when I mess it up and to not tell everypony."

"Oh, I wouldn't tell anypony about it… that would just be mean."

Excellent. I smiled widely at her. "See? This is why you are perfect for the job. So, what do you say?"

"Well, I'm not sure how much help I'll be, but I'll do my best! When and where do you need me?"

I'd been wondering the same ever since I'd gotten the book on flying, but it all suddenly came together. "Remember the field I was in the other day? I'll be there at eighteen-hundred tomorrow. Does that work for you?"

Derpy nodded with a smile. "Yeah, I can make that. This is going to be fun, I can't wait!"

"Yeah, at the very least, it will be interesting."

Derpy, however, was more excited than I was. "You bet it will! So, what kind of tricks are you trying to learn?"

"Well, mostly I'll be doing the basics. I never really had a formal education in the basics when I was young, so I’d like to begin with the by-the-book stuff to make sure I’ve not been missing out on something in my education. So, think of it as basic flight school."

"Sounds like a plan to me."

Checking my watch, I was shocked by the time. Had I really been sitting here that long? "Awesome, I'll see you there. I have to get going, unfortunately. Joy is going to be home soon, and she gets worried if I'm not there by the time she is. See you tomorrow?"

"Awww, okay. I'll see you tomorrow, Dave. Have a good night."

"I will. You be sure to do the same, alright?"

"I will. Bye, Dave."

I finished my farewell as I strode towards the door, bidding Berry a good night as well. As I made my way back to the house, I couldn't help but feel giddy at the prospect of flying tomorrow. In less than twenty-four hours, I would be soaring through the skies of my own accord, no longer a slave to gravity. I would slough off the yoke the bound me to the earth and I would take flight. I would know what it was like to knock on the sky and listen to the sound.

I came home and dropped my saddlebags at their customary position at the foot of the couch. Sitting down as I was, I took the opportunity to fully extend my wings without anypony gawking at me. By my best estimation based on the scale of things around me, I would venture that I was about a meter tall at the shoulder, with my head topping out at about another thirty or forty centimeters. My wingspan however, was nearly four meters from wingtip to wingtip. From what I'd seen of other pegasi as they flew, I possessed a superior wingspan compared to just about all. The reason I say this is to put it in perspective when I say that I stretched them out fully… it was a rather impressive sight. I was jarred from my self-admiration by a throat being cleared somewhere to my right. I snapped my wings shut, sending a few smaller items tumbling in the wake of the gust. I sheepishly looked towards the hallway, where Joy was standing with a bemused smirk and a cocked eyebrow.

"Dang, Dave… looks like you're happy to see me."

I demonstrated my adaptation of Joy's tomato impression, turning a few shades of red as I smiled bashfully. "Well, I'm always happy to see you. No, not like that, you weirdo, stop smirking at me like that."

This did manage to wipe the smirk off of Joy's face, though not in the way I'd intended. Instead of merely smirking, she was now smiling at me. I didn't mind this at all… I love the way she smiles. I love the way her nose wrinkles up a little and how her cheeks have this cute little dimple in them… everything about her.

She gave me a sweet little kiss as she climbed into bed, and as I brushed her hair she was telling me about her day since we'd gone our separate ways. Apparently, the last few months of her schooling would be spent preparing some sort of project and accompanying manifest. I told her about my day, and she took great pleasure out of my mishap with the air filter, and the laughed so hard she snorted at the term "dust-splosion". Now it was her that was blushing, and I nuzzled her with a kiss, because she was just so adorable. Soon thereafter we ran out of things to talk about, electing to simply cuddle in silence as we waited for sleep to take us. Joy was the first to go, and was snoring lightly as I was fading away. I gave her one last kiss for the night and draped my wing over her like a blanket. She snuggled into the crook of my wing where it met my chest, and the warmth of her body against mine was all I needed to drift away.

As sleep took me, I smiled.

Author's Note:

Goodness Gracious! That one took me long enough to write, didn't it? Well, it wasn't my fault because of (reasons, excuses).

Actually, it was entirely my fault. I couldn't write for some reason. Short attention span aside, whenever I did sit down to try and write, my brain just sort of went all fuzzy. I finally managed to get my life straightened out a bit, and it did wonders for my ability to write. This chapter was written over the course of about 12 hours, though in small twenty-minute-chunks over the course of three weeks. With any luck, the next should be out sooner, but I'm not promising anything anymore. I'm sick of being wrong.

Also in this chapter, you'll begin to notice a time-scale shift, moving from the "every minute of every day" scale to more of an overview time scale. This is not because I am getting lazy (not entirely, anyways) it's just that I keep getting mired in the details and I need to do something to fix it. I have a good deal more to write on this one, but I'm trying to reach the conclusion for Book One so I can start on Book Two. Find a good stopping point, and such.

At any rate, I hope you all have more fun reading this than I did when I was trying to write it. The actual WRITING part wasn't so bad, but the TRYING to write sucked. ENJOY!

EDIT
Also, I was listening to a hauntingly beautiful song, and it inspired me to write a poem about this story (As a whole, not just this chapter)
Both are at the link below.

Here you go, Enjoy.

EDIT: Last edited on 02DEC15