Twilight’s mind raced to keep up with the events unfolding around her. A few minutes ago she had been trying to decide what flavor of post-workout shake to drink and now she was in the middle of the ring with hundreds of ponies watching her. All of them surely expecting to see her demolished by the Princess. It was completely unfair.
She was so dumbfounded that the match was nearly over before it began. The Princess hadn’t hesitated at all, and it was only the combat instincts the last year of training had instilled her with that allowed her to leap away before Luna’s deadly energy beam cut through the space she’d occupied a moment ago.
“Twilight Sparkle, we would appreciate your full attention for this matter, if you do not mind” said Luna conversationally. “now, en garde!”
Twilight didn’t need another reminder. She reached into her mind and manifested a trio of familiar wards, her go-to defense for the beginning of a match. She’d spent months agonizing over the most effective possible combinations and eventually settled on one that would offer her the greatest possible protection against a wide array of potential attacks.
“Ah, yes, defenses! Forgive us, we had forgotten to put up our own before beginning” said Luna. Three wards appeared around her, none of which Twilight recognized.
Twilight cursed under her breath. First she’d nearly been caught off guard by Luna’s initial attack, then she’d failed to notice that her opponent had been unprotected? She had to get her head in the game. Yeah, the situation was unfair, but moaning about it wasn’t going to change a thing. The captain always said, “At the end of the day, the tip of your opponent’s spear won’t care if he beat you fairly or unfairly. Only that he beat you.” Twilight resolved not to let any more opportunities slip her by. Maybe she wasn’t going to win this, but she could at least go down fighting.
A fourth ward appeared around the Lunar princess.
“Well,” Twilight thought to herself “I suppose that isn’t all that surprising” She had heard legends of the most elite archmages using arrangements of four wards in magical duels and it shouldn’t come as a surprise that the princess would...
A fifth ward appeared.
“But... she... No, she’s an alicorn, you can’t expect her to only be limited to...”
And a sixth.
“Oh, come on!”
“Much better!” exclaimed Luna. “Now, I think we can begin in earnest, can we not?”
Twilight’s reply was to fire a bolt of lightning in her direction. It struck one of Luna’s wards and ricocheted off towards the magical grounding field inscribed around the ring. But in mid-flight it suddenly changed course and redirected itself towards Luna once more, this time from her side. Luna flung another of her wards into position just in time to reduce the blast to a harmless shower of sparks.
“Chain lightning! We LOVE that trick!” said Luna, her horn glowing again. Twilight’s skin prickled as the air around her began to ionize. She dove away a moment before the lightning struck, shedding her momentum with a combat roll that left her standing on the other side of the arena. Anticipating the princess’ next move, she directed all of her wards into position and caught the redirected bolt. Even through three levels of protection, it felt like being struck by a speeding carriage and the force of the blow pushed her back. It was very obvious to Twilight that a head to head slugfest would not go well for her.
Twilight decided that her best bet was to stay agile. The ring was large enough that she had plenty of room to maneuver, and she made the most of it. She zigzagged her way to the edge as Luna’s attacks went wide. Luna gave chase. Her longer legs would have given her an unbeatable speed advantage in a straight up race but were a hindrance as she tried to change directions to match Twilight’s movements.
Twilight assailed the pursuing alicorn with blasts of every size, shape, and energy type she could think of. Bursts of frost, cones of flame and arcs of darkness-infused energy flew between the combatants, only to be dodged or deflected every time. Luna slowed as she diverted a portion of her attention to shifting her wards from one type to another to better defend against the onslaught. It was clear that despite her combat experience, Luna was rusty enough that running, maintaining her defenses, and firing accurately at a moving target simultaneously was beyond her. Twilight spun effortlessly around, over, and under the deadly obstacles Luna created in her path, and even ones that did require deflecting didn’t have nearly as much force behind them as the lightning had. Spells flew wildly in every direction, but none found their target. Still, she was only delaying the inevitable. Twilight wracked her brain trying to think of some way through Luna’s defenses, but couldn’t come up with anything that seemed likely to work.
Once it was clear that Twilight wasn’t go to be immediately curb stomped, the crowd went nuts. Each time she dodged the princess’ attacks or deflected them harmlessly into the floor there was a fresh surge of cheers. She even threw in an unnecessary backflip as she leapt away from a poorly aimed concussive blast. She felt unstoppable as she expertly wove through the thicket of deadly energies. Time seemed to slow to a crawl, and every time she predicted the spread pattern of a magically-generated crystalline missile barrage or stepped away from the spot she knew an attack would land before Luna had even fired it she felt a fresh surge of confidence and joy.
After 10 minutes, Luna was gasping for air. She stopped chasing Twilight and backed away to catch her breath, keeping a wary eye on her opponent as her chest heaved.
“Why do you... refuse to... stay still?” she was able to gasp out between breaths.
“What’s the matter, Luna? A few too many moon pies since you got back?” taunted Twilight.
“We may need to... amend the royal schedule... to allow for more jogging” Luna admitted grudgingly. Twilight noted that she seemed to be recovering quickly. “Still, thou cannot avoid us forever. We will allow thee to concede now and forfeit our challenge with honor, if you wish, in recognition of this display of thy skill.”
An easy out. Twilight considered the offer. While she was doing well now, she still had no idea how or even if she could land a hit on Luna. In the corner of her eye she saw Captain Reinolds at the back of the crowd waving his front hooves in the air and exaggeratedly nodding. Every rational part of her mind told her that forfeiting would be the smart call.
“Sorry princess, but I’m going to have to decline.”
Luna sighed. “We suspected as much” she said, then crouched back into her combat stance again.
The fight resumed in earnest once more, Twilight tried to revert to her previous strategy of dodging and harassing her opponent, but this time Luna had realized that chasing her was folly. Rather than try to pursue, she planted herself in the center of the ring and stood her ground. Her defenses were still as impenetrable as ever, but now her attacks were more focused and better directed.
Luna was relentless now that she could aim effectively. Beams of energy slammed against Twilight’s wards, and even with the training amulet absorbing some of their impact each one was like being struck by a sledgehammer. A fireball struck the ground beside her and exploded. The heat singed her coat and the shockwave threw her off balance, knocking her to the edge of the arena. As she tumbled she lost track of the princess for a moment and only avoided a flurry of smaller flame strikes by sheer chance. Twilight threw out a few desperate strikes of her own, but Luna’s wards blocked each one without breaking her concentration. Twilight found herself forced to merely react to whatever the princess threw at her rather than planning her dodges several steps in advance. The ringing in her ears had drowned out the gasping crowd. Her earlier feeling of prescience was shattered, and it was all she could do to catch the slightest glimpse of the blows flying in from every direction and fling herself in random directions. Suddenly, she spotted a gap between two columns of flame Luna had called down to try to fence her in. Twilight leaped between them without hesitation. For an instant it felt like the heat would broil her alive but a moment later Twilight found herself in the clear, with a clear shot at Luna.
Summoning up all her strength, Twilight lowered her horn and poured forth a blast of pure concussive force straight towards her opponent. It streaked towards one of Luna’s wards, and all of Twilight’s hopes went with it. If she could just break through one or two of them...
Twilight’s attack struck the ward’s center, and the clashing energies warped and twisted as they tried to annihilate each other. Twilight’s heart surged. Her blast wasn’t being deflected or dispelled. She did have a chance! She could-
The energy of her blast suddenly surged up and outward, breaking into pieces and flying in several directions away from the princess and straight through the grounding field that should have prevented it from crossing the boundary of the ring. The fragments of her spell streaked out over the audience for a moment, until each one burst simultaneously into vivid colored sparks and streaks. Her deadly blow had been turned into an impromptu fireworks display. The crowd oohed and ahhed appreciatively. What kinds of wards were those anyway? Changing a spell’s energy type, direction, purpose, all on the fly like that? None of it was possible.
Her back legs gave out and Twilight slumped down. She looked over at Luna who was wearing a contented smile. Twilight recognized it as the same smile Celestia wore when she pulled off a prank she found especially amusing. Twilight realized that she was gaping and shut her mouth. “How long was she just playing with me for?” She’d thought she was doing so well.
“You did very well, for a mortal. We found this little exercise to be truly bracing” said Luna, shocking Twilight out of her trance as she seemed to read the unicorn’s thoughts.
Twilight wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out. She deserved better than to be toyed with this way. Luna should have just blown her away from the get go if she was so much more powerful.
Twilight’s humiliation was quickly consumed by the anger welling up within her. “You think this is over? I haven’t heard a whistle yet.” She stood up and turned to face the princess, who was still smiling as she watched the sparks of her firework display fading into nothingness. Luna looked over at her, and her smile fell away.
“Twilight? What art thou doing?” she asked.
Twilight didn’t reply. She just glared as her horn began to glow.
“Twilight, cease this ridiculous display at once!”
Twilight’s horn continued to gather power. The concentration of magical energy warped the space surrounding it, and the shape of the the magical charge seemed to dance as it distorted the light around it.
Luna’s wards swung around so that all six of them were directly in front of her, between herself and Twilight. Six impenetrable barriers, that had already withstood everything Twilight had thrown at them. “Twilight, please, we do not wish to have to hurt you...”
No answer. Luna braced herself for whatever was coming. Twilight screamed in rage...
And teleported to the other side of the ring, behind the princess.
For the second time that night, Twilight felt like her world was moving in slow motion. The teleportation had sapped away most of the energy she’d gathered, but she’d traded it for something much, much more valuable. For the first time that night, none of Luna’s defenses stood between the two of them.
As soon as the princess realized what had happened, she would re-arrange her wards again and this opportunity would be gone. There wasn’t any time for fancy spellcrafting or trick shots. Twilight poured as much raw power as she could into a single shot, and loosed it against the princess. She watched it streak away from her, and saw Luna turn her head and her eyes go wide in the moment before the blast struck her unprotected flank.
The explosion was deafening. The force of the blast sent Luna tumbling out of the ring and into the audience, where she landed hard in the middle of the crowd. For the first time that night, the crowd had gone entirely silent. They seemed unsure whether to cheer or arrest her for regicide.
A moment later, Luna stirred and rose to her feet. Spreading her wings, she flew back to the center of the ring, although Twilight noticed that when she landed she shifted her weight off of the leg that Twilight’s blast had struck. A large bruise was already beginning to form, nearly invisible to the crowd under her dark coat. Her matted, sweaty mane was a far cry from its typical glory, and there was a small trickle of blood slowly running down her side from an unseen cut.
“We will admit that we forgot you could do that” said Luna, a bit shakily “Nonetheless, though your trick was clever, we believe that this match is over. You will forfeit now, or we will be forced to make an example of you.”
Twilight narrowed her eyes and glared at the princess. “No,” she said simply “I’m not finished yet.”
Before Luna could respond, Twilight had teleported to another part of the ring.
“Don’t you remember how I learned to do this in the first place?” asked Twilight “I copied it off of you, the last time my friends and I kicked your plot up and down the Everfree Forest.”
Luna frowned “the Elements of Harmony-”
“Oh, they were very helpful” said Twilight “but as I recall, my friends and I evaded every one of your little tricks and illusions before we even found them. When you get right down to it, isn’t that a little sad? Six ponies with no special equipment or training against a self-proclaimed goddess riding high after her big return to Equestria. You really thought you were going to conquer the world? For all your supposed power, you went down awfully easily” continued Twilight. “It might be funny if it weren’t so pathetic.”
Luna’s attempts to focus on Twilight and launch a fresh wave of attacks were stymied as she teleported from one point to another, refusing to stay still long enough for the princess to launch a concentrated assault. It was all the regent could do to keep an eye on her, spinning around as Twilight disappeared and reappeared at random points around the ring. “Cease this useless prattle!” Luna shouted. Her magic lashed out at the spot Twilight had occupied a moment ago, but not quickly enough to catch her before she disappeared again. “I have survived more than a millennium for every year that you’ve existed. Do not presume to lecture me on the nature of power, Twilight Sparkle.”
“If Celestia went evil, do you really think any of us would be able to stop her?” continued Twilight “She would have crushed us with a single thought. But you couldn’t. I always figured it was just because a part of you didn’t want to kill us and was holding back, but that wasn’t it, was it? You just couldn’t beat us! Looks like you still can’t, when it comes down to it. No wonder every pony thinks of you as the lesser sister...”
“I said SHUT UP!” shouted Luna.
Twilight ignored the princess’ demand. “Know what would have happened if you’d never come back to Equestria, or if the Elements had killed you instead of dispelling Nightmare Moon from your body? Nothing. Celestia can do your job. She handled the sun and moon by herself for a thousand years. You were completely forgotten, barely even worth a footnote in the history books. Honestly, I suspect that she only even keeps you around out of pity. None of your subjects actually like you, or your precious night either. They’re all just too scared to tell you that to your face.” Twilight continued, teleporting from place to place before Luna could attack her again.
As Luna seethed with barely contained rage over Twilight’s mocking and her own inability to strike at her, one of her wards unwound itself and dissipated without the princess’ attention to maintain it.
“I guess a sharp tongue really DOES cut deeper than a sharp horn. I owe Rarity an apology when this is over” thought Twilight.
“Twilight Sparkle, that teleportation ability that you’re so fond of was invented by a student of mine, more than 5000 years ago.” Luna grinned joylessly “did you know that he also invented a countermeasure?” She muttered an incantation under her breath and stamped a hoof down on the floor of the arena. Twilight braced herself, expecting a surge of energy or, well, something to happen. But nothing seemed to have changed. As she looked around, confused, Luna turned to face her once again. “Playtime is over. You will pay dearly for the words and actions you’ve loosed this night, we assure you.”
Twilight made to teleport once more, aiming to end up on the other side of the ring. She disappeared, only to reappear a mere few inches from where she’d began. Instead of the comfortable, familiar feeling of successfully landing her teleportation ability, she felt like her entire body had been wrung out and then thrown through a wall. As she stumbled about trying to reorient herself, she reached out with her senses trying to determine just what had gone wrong.
Twilight felt around the spot where she had just appeared. There was an unfamiliar aura about it that hadn’t been there before. It was like some sort of chest-high ethereal rope or wire strung across the arena.
Twilight caught a glimpse of Luna moving into position to throw another attack. She was limping, trying not to put her weight on the leg Twilight had struck earlier. Luna’s magical energy streaked towards Twilight nearly catching her off guard, but she leapt forward to dodge it, passing through line of force like it was only empty air.
“I guess it only blocks things that are teleporting” she thought. Now that she knew what to look for, she reached out again with her senses. Sure enough, there were dozens of lines criss crossing the ring in all directions. Twilight had no desire to experience being wrenched back into the real world mid-teleport again. She prepared herself to jump away from Luna’s next attack and return to weaving and dodging until another opportunity presented itself.
Instead Luna’s shadow burst up off of the floor and wrapped itself around Twilight’s neck.
Twilight was completely unprepared for the attack, and too stunned to react before the prehensile shadow yanked her downward, slamming her face into the arena floor. Dazed from the blow, she was helpless as the shadow dragged her over towards where Luna waited and lifted her up until she was face to face with the princess. The princess’ eyes glowed with a harsh, angry power. The crowd let out a collective gasp.
“Please, Twilight, tell us again how weak and pathetic we are” she said in a deathly calm tone that was so much worse than the Royal Canterlot Voice would have been. “Do go on some more about how inferior we are to the perfect and wonderful Celestia. Or perhaps you’d like to make a speech about the wonderful power of friendship. You always seem so fond of those.”
The black tentacle tightened its grip and the only sound that escaped Twilight’s lips was a raspy, choked off gasp.
“No? But you were so very chatty before. What a pity. Now, how about we do a little experiment together? Usually a choking pony will turn purple. I’m sure you knew that, Celestia tells us that you very much enjoyed studying physiology at her Academy. But you are already purple. I wonder what color you will turn? Any hypothesis?”
The tentacle squeezed Twilight’s throat closed entirely. Panic seized her. An abstract, detached portion of her mind reminded her that she’d read just last week that depriving the brain of oxygen would lead to unconsciousness in 8.3 to 12.1 seconds, on average. Sure enough, she felt darkness creeping in around the edges of her vision. She had to get free. But how? She doubted any attack she’d be able to use now would break Luna’s control over the shadow or drive it back. She could feel the teleportation blocker things Luna had set up behind her, in front of her, and off to both sides.
Of course, there were other directions. A quick check confirmed it, there weren’t any barriers ABOVE the ring. “What have I got to lose?”
Luna’s shadow suddenly found itself crushing empty air where Twilight had been a moment ago. She had reappeared directly over Luna and was falling towards her back.
Twilight didn’t know it, but Luna’s defensive wards had been hoof-crafted by the diarch during the pre-classical era 1700 years ago, when magical duels were a common and highly ritualized affair. Luna had taken it up as a hobby. One of the very first rules the unicorn nobles had all agreed upon when crafting their dueling code was that physical contact between combatants was strictly verboten. And since wards could only protect against a limited number of attack types at once, it certainly wouldn’t make sense to waste any of the precious space in the spell matrix protecting against something a duelist would never have to face, right?
The upshot of all this was that none of Luna’s five remaining wards had anything that would counter a unicorn falling from the sky. Twilight passed straight through them and landed on the princess’ back, wrapping her hooves around Luna’s head and neck to balance herself. Her mind still clouded from the aftermath of being choked, she knew she had no hope of summoning up enough energy for a proper attack. She charged her horn with as much energy as she could quickly gather and without bothering to shape it into any sort of spell touched her horn’s tip to the most sensitive place she could reach; the base of Luna’s horn.
Luna screamed in agony as raw magical energy ripped through her unprotected mind. She instinctively bucked forward, flipping Twilight off her back. As Twilight fell the tip of her horn cut into Luna’s forehead, gouging down to the bone. Blood streamed into the princess’ eye.
Twilight lay stunned on the floor, her vision swimming as her mind tried to catch up with the events happening around her. That much energy channelled directly into the brain would have sent most unicorns into a coma. How was the princess still standing? She was even still keeping three of her wards up. Still, at the very least she must have completely overwhelmed the other ponies magical senses. She could exploit that. “But only if you get up before she recovers enough to just walk over her and snap you in half. Move!”
Twilight rolled over and staggered to her feet. A sharp lance of pain greeted her effort to put weight on her front right hoof. Twilight tested it gingerly. She must have landed on it poorly, and it was likely sprained.
Luna was across the ring with her hooves to her head, trying to shake off the aftereffects of Twilight’s attack. Before she could look up. Twilight threw an invisibility spell over herself. Usually invisibility wasn’t nearly as useful in a fight as one might think. Any opponent worth hiding from could sense the magical concealment field and track you down easily. But it was a lot more useful against a pony who had just been blinded to magical energies.
Luna recovered enough to look around, and was puzzled to find herself apparently alone in the ring. Her eyes passed over the spot where Twilight stood, and the unicorn felt a wave of relief when they moved on without any glimmer of recognition. She watched silently as Luna wrapped her horn in shadow, where it took the shape of a three-foot blade protruding from her forehead. It looked sharp.
Twilight considered her options. Any projectile or directionally based attack would give away her position to Luna, invisibility spell or not, and once Luna knew where she was that shadow would be wrapped around her neck again in no time. Or something even worse. Twilight seriously doubted anything she could do right now stood a chance of piercing Luna’s remaining wards. She needed some kind of distraction.
Twilight smiled. Her mind flashed back to last summer, when Pinkie drafted her to put on a puppet show for Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake. Twilight had used the opportunity to research a new spell for the occasion. Specifically, a ventriloquism spell.
Twilight took a moment to recall the workings of the spell, then focused on a point at the edge of the ring behind Luna.
“Boo!”
In a flash, the alicorn spun around and brought the edge of the shadowy blade down on the spot Twilight’s voice had sprung from. It cut deeply into the stone floor, tearing it apart like streamer paper. In doing so, she broke open the circle in which the runes that bound the magical grounding field to the arena were inscribed. Every pony in the room felt the protective energies waver then vanished entirely. The ponies in the audience muttered to one another as they began to realize there was no longer anything preventing them from becoming collateral damage. A few began to scoot towards the nearest exit.
“COME OUT AND FACE US, COWARD!” shouted Luna “YOU CANNOT HIDE FOREVER! WE WILL TEAR THIS BUILDING APART TO FIND YOU IF WE MUST!”
“I’M the coward now?” said Twilight’s voice from another part of the ring “Where were you when we fought with Discord? Or when the Changelings tried to invade Canterlot during my brother’s wedding? Hate to break it to you, princess, but YOU’RE the coward here, not me.”
Luna snarled and flung another blast in the direction the voice had come from. Without the grounding field to catch it, the force of the blast continued until it struck a wall, sending masonry raining down on the unprotected ponies below and shattering a nearby window. The audience snapped back to reality, all realizing simultaneously how much danger they were in. The stampede towards the exit began.
Twilight’s voice popped up in another part of the ring. “It all makes me wonder, have you ever actually won a fight? I mean a fight with somepony on your level of raw power? Or do you just prefer to beat up on weaker ponies to compensate for your total lack of actual skill?”
Luna spun around and let forth a wide cone of fire, scorching the spot where the noise had come from and everything else on that side of the arena for good measure.
With her attention diverted in the direction Twilight had chosen, Luna didn’t notice the purple glow of Twilight’s telekinesis wrap itself around a folding chair that had been recently abandoned by a fleeing spectator. With a tug, she pulled it into the ring and swung it downward, brutally slamming it into the distracted princess. Luna crumpled to the ground under the force of the blow. Twilight brought the chair around for another blow, but from the ground Luna was able to maneuver a ward to block it. The chair shattered as it struck the magical shield.
“Ch... cheater...” She gasped out as she slowly rose up again once more. She gave a hacking cough and spat at the floor, staining the white canvas with blood and phlegm. Her left eye was clenched shut to keep any more of the blood from her gash from irritating it and her breath came in staggered heaves“Nopony told us... we could use a weapon.” Luna’s face screwed up in concentration as she teleported something to her side. Twilight didn’t recognize it, but it looked like a fishing net with heavy black weights tied around the perimeter.
Luna looked upwards and fired beams of energy at the exposed ceiling. The blasts tore through the support beams, and pieces of debris began to rain down around them.
“WE TOLD YOU WE WOULD TEAR THIS BUILDING APART TO FIND YOU, DID WE NOT?” shouted Luna, her voice carrying over the sounds of rocks crashing to the floor.
Twilight began to panic. She’d have to drop the illusion of invisibility to have any hope of deflecting the falling stones. Looking up, she spotted a heavy-looking chunk of marble facade plunging straight towards her. She just reacted without thinking, pushing off from where she was standing to jump to a safer place. She landed with most of her weight on her injured leg and collapsed, shouting out in pain.
In a moment, Luna had thrown the net on top of her. Twilight hadn’t noticed before but it was barbed. The tiny hooks cut into her as she struggled to push the netting off of herself. With every thrashing gesture she became more hopelessly entangled.
Twilight became aware something else. The net was growing hot, burning her wherever the fibers touched her flesh. And she felt so weak all of sudden, weariness like she’d only ever felt the time she had foalishly pulled back-to-back all nighters to prepare for a test.
“It’s called a grounding net” Luna said in response to Twilight’s unasked question. “We used to use them to restrain enemy unicorn mages on the battlefield in days gone by. Those fibers are magically superconductive, pulling any magic around them into the weights, and from there back into the Earth. Including the magic from your body.”
Luna kicked at the helpless unicorn with one of her front hooves, sending Twilight rolling away. She landed on her side, and the netting’s grip on her tightened again. She tried to cry out in pain, but she didn’t even have the energy for that anymore.
“We find it interesting. Neither you nor we can cast magic at the other through that netting. In your case, that handicap reduces you to a sniveling whelp who cannot even beg for her life. But us? We remain a goddess.” Luna turned and bucked Twilight with her back hooves, sending her flying out of the ring until she crashed down into a pile of rubble. Luna watched the rubble for several seconds. It did not stir.
Luna wiped the sticky half-dried blood covering her face away from her eyes. She stepped down from the ring and began to limp slowly over towards the rubble to finish this for good.
TWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!
Luna’s ears perked up at the sound of the whistle. Since their audience had evacuated a few minutes ago, she’d assumed that she was alone with Twilight. She turned to see a dull orange unicorn stallion standing behind her, holding the referee’s whistle to his lips.
“You... we remember you speaking to Twilight Sparkle before the match. What is your name?” asked Luna.
“I am Captain Reinolds of the Canterlot Royal Guard, your highness.” Reinolds bowed deeply to the princess. “Congratulations on your victory. I apologize that the match wasn’t stopped sooner. Fair Fight and I are going to have a very frank discussion about his future as referee in this gym, I promise you that.” Reinolds walked past Luna and over to the pile of rubble covering Twilight. His horn shone with a gentle yellow glow as he tossed the top layer of debris aside and uncovered the passed-out unicorn underneath. “She’s still breathing, and it looks like that net tore open or fell off her in the landing.”
“Step aside and leave her to us, Captain” demanded Luna.
“No.” Reinolds turned to face her, placing himself directly between the two mares.
Luna’s eyes narrowed “Captain, that was not a request. We are ordering you, as your sovereign ruler, to stand down.”
“My apologies, Princess Luna. The charter of the royal guard is quite clear; In life or death circumstances we are permitted, indeed, required, to disregard any order that might put our charges in jeopardy. And make no mistake, this mare IS under my protection.”
Luna’s mouth hung open at the guard’s audacity. She was in no mood to be patient. With a scream she lowered her horn and channeled all that pain and fury into a deadly burst of magic.
Reinolds was ready. Three wards he’d had at the top of his mind sprang up and converged on the point where Luna’s blow would fall. He endured the assault as Luna’s magic continued to pour forth, driven by the frustrations of that night. Finally, Luna broke off her assault.
“CAPTAIN, WE ARE PRINCESS LUNA OF THE NIGHT, MAIDEN OF THE STARS AND MOON, AND RULER OF THIS LAND! IN TIMES OF WAR AND STRIFE, WE HAVE TORN THE VERY SOULS FROM OUR ENEMIES’ BODIES AND LEFT THEM AS NOTHING BUT LIFELESS HUSKS. WE HAVE THROWN THOSE WHO OPPOSED US INTO THE FURNACES OF DISTANT STARS TO BURN ALIVE FOR ETERNITY. WE HAVE ENTERED THE MINDS OF OUR FOES AND INFLICTED UPON THEM THE EXPERIENCE OF SUFFERING FOR DECADES, WHILE ONLY MOMENTS PASSED IN REALITY. NOW WE ARE GOING TO GIVE YOU ONE FINAL CHANCE, DO NOT THROW IT AWAY SO LIGHTLY. MOVE! ASIDE! NOW!
Reinolds staggered under the force of Luna’s wrath. Blocking her attack had been harder than he’d expected it to be. Twilight had made it look easier in the ring. He drew himself back up. “Again, I apologize if I was unclear last time you asked, Princess Luna. I told you, you can’t have her.”
Roaring with anger, Luna resumed her bombardment. Despite the captain’s best effort he was slowly being overwhelmed. His defenses were slowly withering away under the raw force of the assault. He poured more and more of his own energy forth to try to shore them up. There was a sharp pain spreading along the length of his horn. It was beginning to crack apart under the strain. Just when he thought he could hold out no longer, Luna stopped again.
“We do not understand you, Captain. Surely you realize that you will not be able to hold us off forever. I will destroy you if you continue to resist, and then I will do whatever I like with Twilight and your sacrifice will have been for naught.”
Luna watched the unicorn drop his exhausted head. He seemed to be sobbing, obviously he knew that she was right and he should give up. But a moment later she recognized that he wasn’t sobbing in pain at all. He was laughing.
“Oh, princess, who said anything about holding you off forever?”
“WHAT IN TARTARUS IS GOING ON HERE?”
Luna jolted upright at the familiar voice behind her. “Celestia? Um... we can surely explain-”
Celestia descended from the same hole in the ceiling Luna made when she’d entered the gym. Instead of her crown and usual regalia, she was clad in just a white bathrobe and a pink nightcap. “Yes, please DO explain, sister, why I was just woken up by servants who are insisting that the palace is under attack?”
“We suppose that our match with Twilight Sparkle may have become a touch more spirited than we meant it to.”
Celestia looked over and spotted Twilight’s prone, unmoving form in the rubble. Her eyes suddenly went wide. “LUNA, WHAT DID YOU DO? I SWEAR TO MOTHER AND FATHER, IF YOU HURT HER-”
“She’s OK! She’s unconscious right now but she’ll be fine once we get her bandaged up.” Reinolds interrupted “I just checked on her”
Celestia closed her eyes for a moment, willing herself to regain her composure. When she opened them again she wore the same practiced regal expression she usually did. “Luna, go back to the palace and clean yourself up. We will discuss this at length tomorrow, I promise you.”
Luna didn’t need to be told twice. She slunk away and spread her wings, flying out through the ceiling once more.
“We do have a door you know” said Reinolds, more to himself than to any pony around him.
“Captain, once again you have my thanks for your efforts to protect my student. Your dedication is commendable. When you feel up to it, I would like a report from you on the night’s events as well.” said Celestia
“You’re welcome, princess” said Reinolds. His legs suddenly trembled and Celestia noticed that he hadn’t actually moved from the spot where he was standing since she’d entered. “Actually, one more thing?”
“Yes, captain?” prompted Celestia.
“Requesting permission to lose consciousness, your highness.”
She smiled. “At ease, soldier”
Captain Reinolds was out cold before he even hit the ground.
Finally, we get to the heart of this thing.
This ran so long I considered breaking it up into two chapters. Heck, it's longer than the rest of the story so far put together. But I ultimately decided it would flow better as one. Plus I would have had to made you guys sit through a cliffhanger somewhere in there, who wants that? Writing action scenes isn't something I've tried my hand at before, but I enjoyed pushing my boundaries and hopefully I ended up with something worth reading.
I really enjoyed reading all the predictions in the comments from the last chapter. Some of you might need to spend a little less time on TVTropes, though (It Will Ruin Your Life). Overall I was surprised how many of you guys expected Twilight to walk all over Luna. I hope that you don't think either pony got shortchanged the way it ended up developing.
One thing that surprised me as I wrote this was how dark it started to get, especially the bit with the shadow which was never a part of the original plan. The prospect of writing another page of shoot/dodge/shoot/dodge repeat inspired me to come up with something more interesting. Luna goes from funny and adorable to pretty terrifying surprisingly easily.
Anyway, this will get one more chapter to wrap the whole thing up in a (hopefully) satisfying manner. I'll try to get it up this weekend.
What got into Twilight? I can see her stubbornly refusing to quit and all but Luna's a friend. Twilight will sleep off her aches and pains in a week or two but the things she said could well hurt Luna for a whole lot longer. Neither of them looked too good morally speaking.
>Luna challenges Twilight to a friendly match
>Twilight rapes and humiliates Luna with words
You're not a very nice pony, Twilight.
But hoo boy, you write action scenes like a motherfucker. Not a lot of people have a knack for writing magical duels, but that was so amazing I might have bonered a little. I'm serious. My body reacts in strange and fanciful ways. I am really, really happy right now that I decided to track this story. Looking forward to that next chapter, and the fallout of that little stunt. There is indeed no more fearsome a weapon than the truth. Bruises heal; but words remain forever.
holy shit that was epic! Luna's such a cheater though, using a net specifically designed to disable a fully power war mage, thats just unsportsmanlike.
777012
Twilight broke the rules first though, by teleporting above Luna and stabbing her with her horn.
Awesome! I really really enjoyed this chapter. Simply magnificent. Its kind of too bad that your only going to add one more chapter before it is completed; I would LOVE to see where the rest of this could go.
And I never expected Twi to walk all over Luna... I was just annoyed how others seemed to think Luna would curb stomp Twilight JUST BECAUSE Luna is a Goddess. With a little more training, it might even be possible for Twilight to beat someone as powerful as Luna. Who knows? Being a Goddess does not automatically make one all powerful and all knowing.
Anyway. excellent chapter, and I find it quite hard to believe you've never really wrote action scenes before. And the last lines? Completely gold! That takes a special kind of soldier to remain aware after taking a beating like that from Luna.
Very funny in a weird and twisted way
776959
Yeah, I knew that may not go down so well. Part of it was that the story is better if the stakes are raised, and a life or death struggle is certainly higher stakes than a friendly sparring match. But that isn't a valid in-character reason. Twilight just really really didn't like being humiliated like that, and in anger she lashed out at the things Luna was sensitive about. Bear with me through to the end though, karma's a bitch and Twilight's not getting off scott-free for what she did.
777024
Although immediately before the teleport-zap bit Luna had tried to straight up murder her. Really they all broke the rules so many times, I just had to give Reinolds that line about the ref being fired to lampshade/explain it
777059
Well, I'm not completely ruling out the possibility of a sequel...
Nope, never wrote any action stuff before. That's one of the reason I kept pushing myself back into this story when it was stalling out late in chapter 2, no excuses for not challenging myself when I've got an idea that sounded like this much fun.
I think Twilight and Luna may need to have a chat later on regarding just how far things had gone. Might help clear the air a bit between them. Hopefully..
777117
It's certainly a mess. Luna's probably a little TOO ingrained in the old ways, where maybe a thousand years ago killing an opponent in the ring was an honorable thing to do. Or, she was just really, really angry, enough to kill or grievously harm. I would be too.
oh ... my .... GOD THAT WAS AWESOME
That was one of the best magical duels I've read in a long long looooooong time. Simply amazing in execution. Most of what I'd have said has already been said, that Twilight and Luna are going to have to have a chat to try to begin healing the wounds they both caused with that fight. Both have a lot of blame to rest on their shoulders, which is just another example of how well done this fight is.
Take all these moustaches!
I don't like this story anymore.
The development went somewhere that makes no sense. Twilight said things that cannot be unsaid, luna attempted murder. It can no longer be an interesting story about twilight and magic fights, it's now a story about how twilight cruelly let the worst of her out and how this proves that luna is a fucking dangerous lunatic.
777024
Quote from last chapter
we don’t really have that many formal rules. Pretty much anything goes, fighting wise
if you can find a way to cheat when anything goes, good on you
776927 This is so boss dude, you should write a film, not joking even slightly.
Hmm, first, brilliant battle scene. Very well executed, inventive, and riveting. I almost through Twilight might win there for a minute. Almost.
The characterizations... hmmm. The scenario does seem a little overboard, but honestly it's not enough to break suspension of disbelief for me. First of all, Twilight is clearly a borderline manic over-achiever, and seems to have almost zero filter regarding appropriate and inappropriate responses to a situation. (IE "lesson zero", and "it's about time") So her insulting Luna as a battle tactic, without thought for how that's going to backfire? Believable.
Luna's reaction, that's a tougher one. It's plausible, but plausible in a manner that befits a much darker fic. Normally, after a spaz-out like this, I'd expect the rest of the fic to detail her battle with social isolation and lingering madness. Really, a second nightmare moon or a suicide attempt seem like the only reasonable routes for her.
You just don't brush over that degree of responsibility fail.
All I can say is "wow." Actually, I can say more than that.
This was an incredibly enjoyable chapter, and free of cliffhangers too. If the story ended here, it would still be worth my time. Very inspiring, thought provoking, and probably the coolest action scene I've read.
I agree with what you're saying. It DID get dark in a hurry. I would have expected Twilight to start wishing she could run away again when Luna became murderous, so because of that the characters did feel unusual.
I am favorably impressed with how it all ended up. Luna was OP, but Twilight just kept coming back for more. It's very much like Twilight to just know her situation, know her options, and keep at it, but with your interpretation of alicorns being immensely powerful, Luna was going to win her out eventually. Heck, it took a military-grade net to finally subdue Twilight. Twilight lost, but her effort was monumental.
Very nice.
this was written as if it came from a writing god.... I loved it and the action was verry well done!
keep up the awesomely epic work!
Truly epic battle!
That's not just pushing your boundaries, that's more like finding your special talent - you need to check your flank for a new cutie mark
776969
Twilight didn't stab Luna at the base of her horn.
She placed her own horn there and channeld raw energie in Luna's brain
Still a bitch move but she did no physical damage :P
Ah, if only I could write battle scenes like that... Anyway, I enjoyed that battle. I'm with Twilight on this though. Luna held back in a way that felt like she was mocking Twilight, so Twilight responded in a way that made Luna use all her power.
You're very good at action scenes, but I feel that Twi and possibly Luna were both pretty ooc in terms of the whole 'attempted murder' thing. Still, nice job. Also:
Neither you nor we can cast magic at the other through that netting. In your case, that handicap reduces you to a sniveling whelp who cannot even beg for her life. But us? We remain a goddess.
Could have sworn I've read this somewhere before.
Edit: I remember where now. Oh dear, I hope Twi doesn't go all Familicide on us.
Really expected Twilight to go into the Avatar state or something. Really really awesome chapter though :D So much fun to read!
It's one of those things, I had always assumed that Twilight in full overdrive state was probably pretty close to one of the alicorns. Combined with her extensive experience and whatnot, but then you go and up the ante with Luna probably being in excess of 15000 years old, with power a whole scale above.
Unfortunately, both are at fault here... Luna pushed Twilight and Twi pushed back. Unfortunately, Luna looses her cool pretty quickly and seemed more than willing to take the matter to a close. I won't say that Twilight's taunting was wise, but I can understand her perspective, try and get Luna to be pissed and make a mistake. That Luna was ready to kill was more than a bit uncalled for though.
In reality the duel should probably have ended the moment Luna got blasted out of the ring, if not a bit later than that... yep, ref needs to get fired.
778114
Oh, right, I forgot to mention thatI The Order of the Stick's forum has a great brony community, and the comic itself is fantastic. I wanted to give them a little shout out. Luna is best Ancient Black Dragon.
For reference, it's from this strip:
http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0627.html
777103
"I wonder what color you will turn?" made me laugh as I wrote it, and then immediately feel bad for laughing. All my writing seems to have a humorous thread running through it, even non-comedy stories have a few jokes scattered through them. It's probably because I used to write sketch comedy for my college theater group.
Twilight kinda burned Luna....
Oh and shit going to hit the fan next chapter.
777583
I...might have to agree with you on that. I mean...there is just absolutely no way in hell I can see either of these characters acting like this at all. It's just...no. It's completely separated from their characters. They wouldn't do this. Period. This would not happen like this.
I'm sorry. I usually don't take de-faving a story lightly. But you committed a serious error that a lot of authors do.
You took yourself too seriously.
And you paid the price for it.
You tried to make it more "serious", more "edgy" and "dangerous" and tried to increase the stakes from being just a simple ring match to a life-or-death situation. But in doing so, you sacrificed proper characterisation and tone, and it SHOWS.
This chapter is just bad. Bad in terms of tone with the rest of the story, bad in terms of characterization, bad in terms of pacing, honestly...it's bad.
Again, I'm sorry. But you really dropped the ball.
781923
I will certainly agree that the tone of this chapter was darker than the last three. However, I set out when writing this story to build it around a no-holds-barred out and out magical brawl, and I think the title and story description reflect that. The whole story was never going to be jokes about how socially awkward Luna can be with the occasional Monkey Island reference. Those have their place, but a real fight isn't it.
I certainly see the concerns you and others have about characterization. If your complaint is that Twilight is too aggressive and should have backed down, I would point out that this is a character who, in her confrontation with Nightmare Moon,
1. Leaped into a magical tornado when NMM tried to take the elements away
2. Then proceeded to charge her and use a trick that's fairly analogous to the one she used in this story
3. Monologues about the importance of friendship before unleashing a devastating magical blast
Other than Boast Busters, where she was afraid of what her friends would think of her using her power to show up Trixie, when has Twilight ever backed down from a fight because her opponent could beat her? Admittedly, it's not really that kind of show , but I can't think of when she willingly backed down from any challenge. If anything, she refuses to back down or ask for help when she should (Lesson Zero / It's About Time / Feeling Pinkie Keen)
Was she too cruel? Maybe.Again, I'll address the aftermath of that in the next/final chapter, but it won't be in a "ha ha, laugh it off" sort of way. I've written at least one entirely comedic fic, and even my more serious ones tend to end up with a little humor scattered through them. But even if this is a little more serious I don't think there's anything here that's deserving of slapping a [Dark] tag on the whole shebang.
I will completely disagree that taking Luna to a darker place is OOC. Before this she tried to blot out the sun, and I think if you review Pre-Fight Jitters you'll see a sort of casual sociopathy that in a real person would be highly disturbing. And I think Luna Eclipsed backs that up; The girl was willing to cancel a national holiday because she felt a little slighted, has enough power to summon a gigantic lightning storm for mood lighting, and clearly has a few hot-button issues. What do you think she would do if something REALLY provoked her?
Finally, if you feel there are pacing problems, please please PLEASE be more specific about what you're objecting to. I wasn't kidding when I said this was my first time writing an action scene, and I absolutely CRAVE that sort of "this, precisely, is what you did wrong" feedback
777583
Since I responded to the response to your post, it only seems fair to address what you said originally as well. Twilight will indeed pay the price for what she did and, almost more importantly, what she said. It may not be the price she expects, but there will be a toll. However, the "magic fights" part of the story is over. Really serious fights don't, in my opinion, end with both sides magically befriending one another because one combatant proved they were a worthy opponent for the other. The last chapter will indeed be more concerned with the collateral damage and the other ponies that the Twilight/Luna throw down ended up hurting than setting up a consequence-free round 2.
782533
Well, I see your points, but still, I don't think Twilight would ever go so far as to mock her for the whole Nightmare Moon thing, or claim that Celestia is better than her. Unlike you, I just can't buy Twilight doing that, and without that, Luna being darker simply falls apart.
As for pacing...well, that's harder to specify. It just seemed that sometimes it moved too fast, and other times it was just taking its damn time to get to the next part. It seemed...uneven, I'd have to say. I don't think that's really something you can specifically fix, though, since I don't think you want to watch me go through the whole chapter and pointing out where it could have been better paced, and I don't really want to read it again, to be honest. It's not something that can be objectively measured or defined, it's just that I felt it was uneven.
As for the OOC parts of it...well, I say we just agree to disagree on that. There's no sense arguing when there's pretty much no chance that we'll convince each other.
Trust me, it's nothing against you. It's just that I'm not comfortable with stories that take characters to places and situations THAT I FEEL they don't belong in. I was doubtful at first, but gave you the benefit, but...I'm afraid I'll have to pass. I'm sorry.
However, I will give your other stories a look, so hopefully I'll find something more to my tastes. Until then...I guess this is goodbye.
782690
Oh trust me, I don't take your critiques as personal attacks in the least. Honestly, I find negative feedback VASTLY more helpful than the positive sort. Part of it is just my personality, I instinctively assume that compliments are hollow and meaningless or at least not especially useful, unless they're specific about the elements that they liked. If you change your mind or your curiosity gets the better of you, the last chapter should hopefully be up by the end of the day Sunday.
Glad you liked "Writing is Hard." Don't tell anypony, but I think it's stronger than this story too.
That was a very good Fight Scene.
I was unsure on the first Chapter alone if I would like this but now I can say I am looking forward to the conclusion for all the Parties involved.
While the Characters maybe appear OoC, a bit to serious in a general Setting. I also say for this Story they work, if what you want to portrait is a good Fight Scene what i presume.
I was a bit surprised on how quick the 'friendly Spar' degenerated into a full Fight. Then again Twilight used the one thing that really hurt Luna her Berserk Button so to speak if I may use TVTrope there for a second addressing her in Inferiority Complex in regards to Celestia + the NMM thing really pushed her over the Edge,
But that also makes Luna such an interesting Character, this Emotional Instability, being quick to Anger and very forceful with all the Power on her Command as an Alicorn.
keep up the excellent work
782533
Probably not quite this far, but I can definitely see Luna being darker and 'edgier' than her sister. Celestia's the Good Cop, and Luna's the Bad Cop.
how you did it was very good... luna is still a goddes and twiligh a unicorn power difrence are not in question...
the fact that twiligh used the verbal atacks was what she had been drilled in the training is proving to work againt luna... and that she know some weak spots in lunas metal barier is proving ot be more evective...
beening a unicorn herself knowing the base of the hron is highly sensitive is only nature... twi should ask what the weak spod are for a pegasus to rainbow dash to get a winning ege over luna about 2/3 of her beeing, unicorn and pegasus down only last earth pony huh?
that would be the last of the shields???
777024
DON'T USE THE DYE!
YOU BROKE THE RULES!
(I've been waiting forever to make that comment)
790727
I'm not Nova! Gah! Everyone does this!
Though I wouldn't say Twilight was without fault, I think Luna is definitely the aggressor here. From the very beginning she was simply toying with Twilight, playing with her, arrogant as only a goddess can be. Condescending and insulting, challenging Twilight who really didn't want to be there in the first place.
Of course, Luna's smacked down hard for her arrogance but she then straight up ordered Twi to surrender or Luna promised to make an example out of her. Twilight, probably ill-advised but decides to bring up the history and really... 'truth' of the previous encounters and previous incidents. She's a bit cruel no doubt but since when has Taunting not been a completely valid strategy? Get them mad so they make mistakes. Plus she had just proven that she could knock Luna down if she was careless, as history had proven before.
From then the fight obviously gets a bit more desperate from Twilight's perspective, and Luna's so enraged that I'm not sure if she'd of let off even if Twilight would have surrendered or been rendered KOed. The shadow choke and subsequent teleport into a mind-blasting brain pulse was more for survival than anything. The bucking is what cause the gouge but it seems like that was a fairly minor issue.
Of course, Luna's still completely lost it and Twilight's still rather... well, I'd probably of run away at that point, but who knows if that would have helped...
Really, sure, she poked a mental-emotional wound, but Twilight really didn't start the fight in the first place. I'd of assumed taunting would have been a completely valid tactic, though with Luna's less than stable mental state... probably a stupid one. After that, it was really nothing but survival. I can't find Twilight completely, or even mostly at fault for all of this.
787439
Yes, Twilight had to fight dirty to have any chance and that's the direction I envisioned her training taking. If you get into a real fight, end it as quickly and decisively as possible with minimal risk to yourself rather than fighting "fair." As for your other points, I'm honestly trying to put as few rules and restrictions around what magic can actually do and how it works, or what might be possible as I can. That way I have the maximum possible amount of room to pull out surprises while still giving my readers that there IS a defined structure and the CHARACTERS are aware of what it is, so the reader doesn't need to understand it completely as long as they understand the cliff-notes version of what they can expect it to do in a given situation. While this does increase the risk that I'm pulling magic plot devices out of my ass when needed, I think that readers of this story would have accepted that these are two powerful magic users. Why can Luna suddenly manipulate her shadow? Well, she's a princess of darkness and the night so it seems like it falls within her wheelhouse. As long as there's a fairly ready excuse for readers to rationalize why it should work, it isn't immersion breaking.
791690
I assumed that, but your picture is his, so... yeah.
I don't think Twilight would really say all that stuff...that's just cruel...but the ending...god...you made me laugh so hard i farted
just pure epicness all the way through this chapter. the battle was highly intense and then the tension breaker where reinolds asks permission to pass out that was just hillarious.
I.find this twiligth a jerk
That mess was intense. Fine job.
Well written, but a bit disappointed in how the fight went down as well as how nasty Twilight was in her trash-talking. At the very least I was expecting Twi to go all glowing eyes avatar state at some point, considering how serious the fight got.
Nicely written action scenes, though.
So while I really enjoyed this, it felt VERY out of character for Twilight to taunt like that, especially someone who she has shown she cared for.
I know it's been said many times before, but Twilight's kind of a bitch in this chapter. I, too, hate being mocked, but this feels like Twilight had a death wish. Even if Twilight had somehow defeated Luna, what did she expect was going to happen? Celestia's student she may be, but Luna is Celestia's sister. Did Twilight expect some sort of congratulations or reward from somepony (such as Celestia)?
I could have told you who would win from the start.
That and if I'm right Luna could have hit Twilight with the damned moon if she wished to...
This chapter? EPIC! No more needs to be said.
I m not sure what to think of it, on one side it was epic well made battle, on the other side you made Twilight say those nasty words ( it was not Luna fault, they were just plot holes in the show ), but worse was that you made Luna monster worse than Nightmare Moon, and almost made her kill Twilight and capitan, you made Luna look like egoistic self centred tyrant who was ready to kill friend and element of magic.
And it is somethink I not like at all, Luna character in this chapter is realy disquisting me.
I'm sorry, you probably answered this earlier, but I'm afraid it's very late and I am overcome with a lazy streak, but what the fuck did you do to Twilight!?
She went from to in 3 seconds, talk about bipolar. Not only that, but the change was the most out of character I've seen in a decently written story. What were you thinking, I don't care what predictions happened for the previous chapters, Twilight is used to Princesses, and is enough of a friend of Luna, to never say that kind of thing, regardless of what she thought, and is advanced enough in friendship reports (if one can be advanced in that) to know what speaking like that does. Also that there seemed to be no recognition of Luna by Twilight beyond the first few moments in the last chapter. Twilight would know what saying that would do (even if that was the idea) she would know Luna would overreact, and that's another thing, Luna, while acting hurt, didn't take it up with Twilight, didn't enquire as to what caused Twilight to be so hostile, and didn't try to calm Twilight down.
All in all, I'm disappointed, this in Brilliantly written Very well done. However that does not save the fact that you butchered the personalities of the characters, it was going so well, and then it nose dived, with no warning, and for no discernable reason or method. Other people have evil Twilight, but this isn't even exagerated Bi-polar Twilight, this is a poor show.
I'm truly sorry, I really am. This isn't a flame, but I had to say this, simply because it's such a shame.
Honora Imperator