SIDE CHAPTER AUTHOR’S NOTE
Remember that conversation Twilight was having with Captain Reinolds before she stepped into the ring with Luna? How do you think that went? Probably not quite like this. A chapter that didn’t actually happen (unlike all the other chapters of this fictional story that totally did happen *cough* *cough*)Also, I was ready to declare the story complete after the chapter 5 and start working on a sequel that would pick up after a bit of a time skip in a new place and begin a new plotline. It would be a direct continuation of this, so I wanted some input on what people would prefer. New chapters of this story? New story altogether? Throw my laptop into a fire and never write again? Leave your opinion in the comments.
New chapters it is!
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“Twilight! What do you think you’re doing?” said Captain Reinolds as he pulled her away from the ring where the Princess of Night and Darkness had just challenged her to a sparring match.
“She challenged me to a fight. If I don’t accept she’ll just pick someone else, and at least I might be able to hold my own against her” said Twilight.
“Hold your own? She’s an alicorn, and a freaking goddess! There’s no way to fight her.”
“Well that can’t be true. Didn’t you tell me once that the Royal Guard had created a secret plan to deal with a rogue alicorn after Nightmare Moon returned?” she asked.
Reinolds suddenly seemed embarrassed “Secret plan. Well, yes we have one but it’s the kind of thing that’s sort of on a need to know basis” he stammered.
“Look at what’s happening! I think I qualify as needing to know!” she hissed angrily.
Reinolds sighed. “Alright, fine. But this is extremely classified information so we’ll need you to keep it a secret, even from the princesses.”
“Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye” said Twilight, going through the familiar motions.
Reinolds nodded, satisfied by the solemn oath. He’d once had a young recruit who foolishly broke a Pinkie promise. The recruit had gone missing, only to turn up in an alley behind an arcade in Baltimare, unconscious, covered in cake batter and streamers. When asked he was unable to recall anything that had happened over the last three days, but he had suddenly developed a crippling fear of confetti.
“Alright Twilight, here’s our plan” said Reinolds, as Twilight produced a quill and parchment and prepared to take notes. “If Celestia or Luna turn evil, the entire force makes a rapid, strategic withdrawal to a series of highly fortified bunkers and secures them. From the inside. Then we wait for the bearers of the Elements of Harmony to come and clear everything up.”
Twilight stopped writing “So... you provide support for my friends and I while we handle it for you?”
“Moral support, absolutely, but not any assistance or resources as such.”
“You run and hide? That’s a terrible plan!”
“Yes, that’s the main reason we try to keep it a secret, actually” said Reinolds
“Do you have plans for dealing with other kinds of things? Like, what if Discord got out again?” asked Twilight.
“Run, hide, wait for the bearers” recited the Captain. It sounded like something he had said many times before and committed to memory.
“What about if the Changelings attack again?”
“Oh, well, that would be different. Your brother would empower the city's magical defenses again...” Twilight perked up at Reinold’s words “...THEN we would all run away and hide until the bearers came and fixed everything” Twilight pressed a hoof against her forehead to try to prevent the headache that she felt coming on
“Well, what if the Elements aren’t available? Or one of the bearers can’t use their Element for some reason? Is it really smart to put all your eggs in one basket like that?” asked Twilight.
“Hey, give us some credit! Of course we thought of that. That’s why there’s the Emergency Backup Plan if the Elements are unavailable.”
“Yes! A backup plan, perfect! What’s the backup plan?” asked Twilight.
“We run and hide in the bunkers, and wait for Celestia to fix whatever’s gone wrong!” said Reinolds triumphantly.
Twilight could no longer contain her frustration “Well why do we even have a royal guard then, if all you do is run away and hide at the first sign of trouble?”
“To keep the crime down, of course! And if I may say, we do an excellent job. The crime rates are very low” said Reinolds.
“I didn’t realize that crime had been such a problem before the creation of the Royal Guard.”
“Oh, it wasn’t. Crime rates were just about as low back then as they are now.”
“Then how do you know that you’re even doing anything?”
Reinolds looked at her like she had just asked why one plus one was two “We’re out patrolling every night, and the crime rate is low. Obviously what we’re doing is working.”
“You can’t just assume causation from correlation like that! It’s completely specious! That’s... that’s like saying my old saddlebags were preventing alicorns from attacking me! I bought a new set last weekend and now Luna wants to fight me” said Twilight.
Reinolds seemed skeptical “how would that even work?” he asked.
“It wouldn’t! They’re just old bags! But as soon as I stopped carrying them around, Luna challenges me, so by your logic they must have been them keeping her away the whole time, right?”
Reinolds considered this. “So... what you’re saying is... that you want me to stall Luna while you run home and get your old saddlebags!”
“NO! THEY’RE JUST SADDLEBAGS! Why can’t... How can you...” Twilight trailed off, her eye beginning to twitch.
“Are you sure? They sound like they would be really useful right about now.”
Twilight’s mouth worked, but no words came out. She sputtered helplessly before a sudden wave of calm seemed to roll over her and she turned towards the ring. “Thank you for the offer, Captain. But now I think I would rather risk having a goddess unmake me from existence with the raw energies of creation than continue this discussion.”
She walked away from the confused Captain, who had taken off his own saddlebags and was examining them closely. He waved them in Luna’s general direction, but seemed disappointed when nothing happened.
Twilight stepped into the ring and approached Luna. There was no way anything that was about to happen could be worse than what she had just endured.
Right?
Geeze, Twilight, next you'll be saying that the Bear Patrol ISN'T preventing Ursa attacks. Poor royal guard, at least they know how useless they really are.
As mentioned in the note, please let me know if you prefer more chapters of this or a new story that's a continuation. Won't change the content, just the format I present it in.
LOL
best guard ever right there
Whatever you want to do.
This side chapter is a brilliant side chapter to an excellent story, please keep up the good work.
I vote for a sequel in the same timeline. With Twilight retaining her skills. Or we could follow her on her bodyguarding duty. That has potential.
If the format change is really different, then sure, make the continuation a sequel. I don't think it really matters. I find this story very enjoyable and I just want more...
The royal guard really is worthless.
I see why this isn't canon to your story, funny as it is. It just doesn't fit with the story.
Although the Pinkie Promise thing is absolutely riotous in the laughter it incites.
797720
Format as in you click somewhere else on FimFiction to find it, not like a "the story will now be told through interpretive dance" sort of format change.
ive been laughing at this for the past 10 minutes, bravo
797724
not totally, they have a use as eye candy for all the mares in Equestria
797739
I'd personally prefer a continuation of this story for the format, since then my favorite will keep updating me and I don't have to worry about missing the new one.
Also I'd kind of assumed the sequel would be following Twilight the Bodyguard, but if you're soliciting input on that... Twilight the Bodyguard please!
797731
It's certainly a breather episode after the last two chapters. Fun to read but if you just want to get on with the story you can skip ahead without missing anything. Once, you know, there's actually something after it to skip ahead to.
Also, Reinolds isn't that dumb but in a non-canon chapter he can be for joke purposes
797762
Totally my theory as well. Molestia's personal harem. Obviously she likes 'em beefy and dumb as bricks
This side story is solid gold!
Telling a continuation through interpretive dance? Can you do that? Because that would be pretty awesome too!
i'm disappointed this chapter is just a side one...but you made up for it...omg i laughed so damn hard. as for everything else...eh, you could start a new story and say this one is the introductory story, or you could continue and mark all of these chapters as the prologue. as long as you link that second story in the desc of this one it doesn't matter to me, as long as the chapters come out
Personally I would like to see this continue. You have a solid direction for the rest of this story and I see no reason why this one shouldn't continue. Besides I want to see Luna and Twilight become friends again.
797796
I assumed he wasn't, though I completely agree with the reasoning.
I may have to take up that theory as well. Although I am sure Molestia enjoys mares, as well. Any ventures into the idea of what sort of mares Molestia would enjoy?
From where I was reading, you stopped it at a good point. But it's whatever, I'd be happy either way
Now this was hilarious.
The plans sound about right to me for something coming from the Royal Guard. Solutions to problems: Twilight and co., Shining Armor, and if no other option Celestia. I guess that just leaves surrender if all three fail.
XD This is the best thing I've read all day!
797801
Gosh, it looks like my webcam JUST broke irreparably. What a shame, guess I'll have to keep using words.
797951
"Surrender? Never! In the unlikely event that all three of those contingencies failed, any royal guardsman is prepared to make the ultimate sacrifice; Waking Luna up so that she can deal with it! We've all been given special training to survive exposure to that level of crankiness."
I'm surprised they could find it amongst themselves to risk it. Bets on them drawing straws for the honor?
Ack! Please don't stop here! You've dropped a bombshell on Twilight's life, and I hope you at least take one more chapter to examine what's changed about Twilight, from her new living space to her relationships with everyone (especially the princesses), to her new living space, to her mannerisms and feelings about the whole situation. I realize that you can look over it with a retrospective if you do a time jump, but it'd lose a bit of the impact.
Also, I think this might be the first story I've read where I've felt truly disappointed in Twilight, and I don't mean that as an insult. Keep up the good work!
I would add new chapters in this story. I might start a new story if it was going to be centered on new characters, had unique tags (became a comedy), or otherwise offered something completely different.
This sounds like little more than a time skip and would benefit from having the backstory easily visible. Plus seeing a new, separate story that says "I'm a sequel" is so very unattractive.
Nice fic
797663 I was laughing SO HARD when I read this chapter....hahahahahaahah.....saddlebags, that made the icing on the cake.....ah......funny as buck, I'm hoping to see more of the second story of this, It's very well created and I'm utterly impressed, keep writing such a great story. Also, you have a spelling error or two somewhere in your story.....not sure where though.
I face palmed about five times when I read this
That was funny, now for your question:
This story follows Twilight's training in magical combat. If you were to continue to add chapters, they would need to follow this same premise. Whereas, if you start a new story, you can change flow/format without problems.
Say you want to do the adventures of Twilight as Luna's bodyguard. That would only hold in this story if Twilight were to continue her studies in magical battles. I'm thinking if you did the bodyguard adventures, you'd want to focus more on her time (i.e. suffering) alone and time with the princess (going places, returning friendship). That has no place in this story.
So, in conclusion, if Twilight keeps training, stay with this story; if she follows Luna, make a new story.
797821
798090
797786
These are all very good points, and having reviewed the FimFiction policy for posting chapters of the same story as a different story altogether (specifically: don't do that) I'm thinking that it probably makes more sense to keep everything consolidated. So I'll probably just tweak the tags as needed and keep posting chapters here.
798382
Why would you say that ?!? Now I'm going to be looking for it everywhere! Can you at least give me a hint?
798442
In a good way, I hope
But I've met people who would probably consider the Captain's logic totally sound. It hurts to talk to them.
Those plans....
Suddenly, everything makes a lot more sense....
798484 Hahahahah...dude, I'm no editor, I could not help you out even if I wanted to....I do know that there is an error and it's not that big of a deal.......to the writer.
798484 yes a good way
798484
Correlation does not imply causality, but it can sure make it look that way!
Also, logical arguments tend to cause injury. Both Twilight and the captain were hospitalized within an hour of their debate, and they were the only ones arguing. That's 2 for 2!
798484 you're misunderstanding the rules. posting chapters of one story as another story isn't allowed, meaning pretty much a copy paste. what you'd be doing is simply ending the story and creating a sequel that takes place directly after the last chapter. but I do think keeping it all in one story for now is best, sequels are for like next generations or other such large timeskips, or when the story begins a new path.
Give me moare chapters
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Moar!!!!
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You should continue writing this. Don't make that rest of the story a sequel.
798730
For some reason, I can't seem to shake the idea that you want me to write more chapters for this story.
798746
I agree. It makes more sense to keep it all together. Consider your wish granted.
... dude yust saying... i wanna know how luna and twi ending up beenig glued togetter...if it is tis story or a new one coulden care less if you keep this story up it makes things easyer... and burning your laptop wont help its not that flameble, try acid instead
Well, I'll grant that this side chapter is a pretty humorous look at what life as a Royal Guard might be in crack-verse Equestria, and after the last couple of chapters, it was a good laugh. Thanks for sharing it.
That being said, I've got to say that if the rest of the story you want to tell is going to continue to mostly revolve around Twilight in Fight Club, I don't see a reason not to keep adding chapters to this story. But if from here on out it's going to switch to Luna and Twilight dealing with what happened in Fight Club (sorry, I can't help but apply that concept here), then I'm good with you putting that into a new story with fresh tags and everything. With what it sounded like at the end of the last chapter, I thought you were going to be moving the two of them into a new direction (well, other than whatever penance construction efforts they were going to have to do to rebuild the combat auditorium.)
798779
Sweet!!!
798782
Your grammar is simply atrocious.
I want to gouge my eyes out with spoons from reading that. Go fix it.
As for this non-canon chapter... Lulz were had.
798472
That is what I said. I used to ride horses, and also spent a large amount of time studies equines of all kinds. I have especially put work into studying mules.
However, mule reproduction does not work the way you have described. Occasionally, a jenny will give birth, but she will always pass down her horse dam's DNA(with only a single exception ever having occured, though she may have actually been a hinny instead of a mule, which would mean she did not fall under this rule). So, a mule jenny gives birth to either a full-blooded horse, or another mule, depending on the foal's sire. Even then, there has not been a single case of this happening two generations in a row.
However, I could completely see them creating martial arts to fulfill a lack of those for mules, as they would not have an easy time translating those made for either their mare dam or jackass sire, but it might be easier to translate back.
793261 should keep notes for your self just to know where you are and what would happen if you: add, remove, change swap anything that would efect the story... much of the ''beginers'' ad to much and lose track of there own story forsing them to reread the story... keep it simple but bend it a bid to suprise us...and if ever needed PM me for ideas... tell me a bit what you need and i let my head spin for a wile...its rated teen, are there changes that it could become aduld given the more gore and maby a shipp... corpses.. black magic..blood magic... runes... trash talking...yeah im gona top here for it get out of hoove...yust let me know i would be glad to help out ^^
i cant think of anything to say anymore
i "think" you broke my brain by making me laugh too hard!
ow... and i think you should write a sequel to this! love this concept and you should totally go one with this!
keep up the great work!
I think you should put the sequel separate, after all this is the spot where you can close up and think back with happy memories and it can stand on it's own.
798779 good to know you have gotten my message else this would pop out your closet this night
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And no one wants that right
no one wants to loose a good writter soo soon
799314
I can certainly understand why you feel that way. But I would point out that Celestia has plans within plans and that not everything has been entirely revealed by the end of chapter 5. Chapter 7 should be up before midnight Sunday (chapter 6 was a fluffy breather chapter) and I would encourage you to read it before you give up on the story entirely, it may change your perspective on her actions. Naturally, it's up to you. I'm posting chapters as quickly as I can write/proofread them and I know I'm leaving things unresolved with each one, trusting that people who are interested will stick around for the next installment. Either way, thanks for looking at the first five chapters, even if they weren't up your alley.
799618
Whelp, guess I'm not sleeping for the foreseeable future. THANKS SO MUCH.
Im just saying that i want and i mean i really want to see more of this
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797663
Is this a troll chapter? cause I can't stop laughing
794674
Feel free to retroactively go back and add the pun.
And it's obvious what's going on.
Twilight Sparkle is a Sayian pony.
She lives for battle!
797762
Moonfire~ not to mention they also act as... "acquaintances" to the princesses...
Me~ just wish I was one of the guards then
797663
Excellently done!
I'm actually studying logic at the moment, and I admire Twilight for not smacking Reinolds in his illogical pony face, that's how intolerant of unsound/invalid logic / logical fallacies my teacher has made me.
Go Twilight!