Lyra Heartstrings was a normal horse...until one day I guess she finds a portal and comes to another world much like our own...well...actually...it is our own, and she decides to run for president...well...she had already planned to anyways.
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These chapters are very short for one. Try to include more action and events in the chapters. Don't be afraid to go into much detail.
Another huge problem is that a lot of the words are used on talking head scenes. This is where two or more people talk to each other while nothing happens in the background. It's something that I will admit I've done in the past, but it became a glaring problem to even me.
Finally, your abuse of ellipses ('...'). For example:
You seem to try and use this to build up tension, but it doesn't seem necessary as the tension is resolved in the next part of the sentence. Instead of this, use a comma. Also:
In the dialogue portion of this chapter, you use ellipses in about every piece of dialogue. Try refraining from doing this and instead do things like "I mean something like, um, our mayor."
I don't think ellipses are useless or anything. It's just that they're misused so much that it can give me a headache. It's widely considered that ellipses should mainly be used to signify a syllable being stretched out. (ex.: "Um...")
Besides what I mentioned in my review of the first chapter, I also began noticing that you forget to signify who is saying what in a scene. Now, I agree that you shouldn't keep explaining who says what if it's the same people in a loop. However, at the beginnings of conversations, this should be clarified immediately.
An additional note: Try not to write in caps if the person talking is screaming. It looks unprofessional. Instead, mention the change in tone. (Ex.: "Well, maybe... You should do it better!") This is another case of where you should actually use ellipses.
One final tip: Make sure to put a period at the end of sentences. Sometimes, you seem to use commas instead, such as here:
Well, now to fix the grammar mistakes...