Hey, I used to write cringy fics on her a few years ago, but I'm back and am hopefully alot better at it!
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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... Not sure if troll....
Not to be a jerk or anything....
But this seems half assed. If you would like maybe some appreciation you should atleast use.. you know, capitalization and stuff like that... Other than that this is actually quite good.
683959... Not sure if troll...
Not to be a jerk or anything
But your supposed to say first or make a witty comment about being first like, the FIRST chapter was ok, maybe half assed but still quite good.
The good: It's a solid start. You have a sense of direction and characters that fit their personalities in the show. Not a bad start. Also some of the descriptions add to the tension.
The bad. Typos, unnecessary segments. Could use some polishing.
Overall not a bad first attempt. You should seriously focus on polishing this though and it should be all right.
sorry if this seems "half-assed" as you call it but it will be improved. i was writing this a 4 in the morning.
684432 Was Stu there too?
684432>>684523 Hope you two made enough chocolate pudding.
684649 But of course. I've already lost control of most of my life anyway.
684749 XD
Now about the fic here, Yeah, seems a bit....unorganized.
I'd offer my help, but seeming as I got my own stuff to handle, what with music making for my fic, well, Sorry, MR author up there.
Definitely room for a very good story line here.
That's a awesome story :D
poor Twilight.
Applejack is a Engeneer Class 2 and Twilight a Sniper Class 4
I liked that Part most :D
Good start!