Despite a few words being wrong, we would highly caution how things advance. Tactically they are exposed, no known knowledge of their capabilities thus their own pony enemies when magic is concerned. It might be true that this 'team' has the upper hand by equipment, but that means nothing if the enemy gets a lucky head shot or worse divides the human team to a more manageable solution then strip them down.
Though admittedly they will be noticeably different to the humans there by being 'Space Marines' in body, depending on the size or condition they could be physically be better then a earth pony. the humans here are likely not of a military background but enjoy the game they cosplayed as, which will work against them if they don't adapt and train themselves on the uses where a military trained individual could out maneuver them.
6488985 Warhammer 40K & The "Your Human and You" verse, where humans never got pass the "Cave Men' stage of intelligence and became cheap slave laborers... or something like that...
In the name of the God Emperor and in fealty to the Golden Throne I declare extermimatis on this world. I sign the death warrant of a entire world and a billion souls to oblivion. May imperial justice account for all balance. The Emperor Protects.
A fucking Mazing, Space Marines and the Your Human and You verse! Hey you should add this to Humans are Superior group and the Humans are Magnificent group.
6491037 between 8-10 ft depending on the height of the wearer. Still head ans shoulders above everyone else though. Muscles out to next week and a brain augmented by the best tech priests. 40k, where everything except normal humans are big and badass.
You got the source material wrong. In the YHaYverse(?), humans are nothing more than domesticated animals for labouring purposes. Also, they don't show any real signs of emotion. And why would the highlight of the town be the slave auction house? Get an editor, btw. Like really, get an editor.
Man, women, children sold in markets by
Men, women, and children
more images appears showing families torn
more images appeared, showing
group of children cleaning what looks like a barracks as one of them accidentally
I think you're a little mixed up. While I'm not the greatest fan of Your Human and You (the OC is a little problematic and the fact that pony mares all seem to want sex with the animalistic, non sapient humans is just weird) it definitely doesn't deplict slavery of humans by ponies. While various ponies in the fic are guilty of amoral, in some cases outright evil, abuses towards the humans, these are the antagonists; they are not cast in a positive light.
Even said antagonists are no more guilty of enslaving humans than I am of enslaving my pet labrador; with the sole exception of the protagonist, all the humans in that setting are non sapient animals with about the same intelligence as a dog and rather less than a chimp. Most of them are kept as pets, and well treated. The fic has been compared to Planet of the Apes.
The idea that all the ponies (ponies, not antho's) in that setting (and possibly in general) should be wiped out by vengeful space marines as a matter of natural justice is frankly ludicrous. The fact that so many commentors appear delighted by the idea is disturbing.
6491512 The Pony human sex desire isn't just weird, it's downright disturbing, also the OC takes the lot he's dealt with FAR to easily. I don't really like the fic either, but your other points, yeah I agree with them.
This really isn't a fic about what the Your Human and You story is about, the humans there are simple animals, it's pretty much a role reversal of us and horses, except Humans are much more prominent in Equestria. This fic just seems to be an excuse to get Space Marines murdering Anthropomorphic ponies, and it's about as well written as I thought it would be.
And Spartan, sorry about how harsh this is, but if you're even willing to hear me out, I'd advise you take some time to really think about your setting and do some planning than just rush out something that popped into your mind.
6492735 6491512 I originally plan to introduce the human slaves as intelligent beings in the first chapter but decided to post that idea in the next chapter.
6491512 Is it just me or does that happen a lot with Your Human and You spinoffs? Maybe they're all confusing YHAY with Chains or something. Neither explains why they're anthro in this story.
6488985 Bad and worse, basically. It's a Displaced fic combined with a "humans enslaved" fic that has the Your Human and You title despite not having anything to do with that story.
If it were Chains based it wouldn't have bugged me enough to comment. I'm no fan of YHaY, as I said, but this blatant misrepresentation is still deeply annoying. Thow in the fact it's a displaced fic with a heavy 'let's have us an excuse to kill all ponies via our shitty space marine self insert avatars' vibe an I couldn't resist calling it out on it's bullshit.
Normally, I ignore displaced utterly; it's awful, sure, and for many good reasons, but little is generally to be gained by pointing out that in the comments sections of displaced fics. It's the combination of shitty things that mark out this fic: displaced, kill all ponies and the misrepresentation of another setting. A triumvirate of bullshit, if you will.
No idea about the antho thing. It's not from YHaY, that's for sure. Also, have an apology as well. This comment was delivered with rather more foul language than is my habit. This fic has simply rubbed me the wrong way.
6494311 I can't really complain about the language. I swear more or less constantly, but not so much online.
I can also relate to how you feel about this fic. I hate stories that are just thinly veiled excuses for a bunch of glorious ubermensch to kill evil ponies. I also hate clumsy wish fulfillment stories. I'm tired of people trying to combine the fanatical hatred that fuels Warhammer with cute little ponies in serious stories. I wish I could slap this story.
*As much as I hate stories where the glorious pony master race saves all the horrible monkeys from themselves
...... For all Holy and Scared in all Empire.... WHY ULTRASMURFS? The only this worse would be Kaldor Draigo.......... or comapny of Bloody Magpies since they would just steal evrything.
But you habe a small minus that no one from them didin't go as Custodes since you know no one would resist the power of fabulous
... ... This is very poorly written. The grammar is better than some of the bad stories I have read, but the pacing is... Absurd. It is almost all telling, with little showing. You give no background. No exposition. Nothing to make us care about the characters. Instead, you have this:
All of the sudden, I started screaming in pain as if my head was about to explode. Soon I started seeing images of humans in rag clothing. Even chained and kept in cells. Man, womenand children sold in markets by colourful anthropomorphic equines. The pain worsens as more images appeared, showing families torn apart as mothers cried for their child been taken away from them while fathers were brutally beaten or killed.
Another image shows a group of children cleaning what looks like a barracks. One of them accidentally drop a pile of golden helmets. One of the guards nearby started beating the child over some helmets!
You simply threw shit at us to try and make us hate the ponies. And this is in the first three or four paragraphs.
The rest only gets worse. This... It has recieved far better reception than it should have. Congratulations, you just got a story on my Painful bookshelf.
Child looking harpies Yup Monster Musume or also called everyday life with monster girls. I would die of laughter if oone of our MC become the darling or master.
i am going to follow this only due to the chaos it may or may not cause on this site.
that and spess marhines.
What crossover is this
6488985
Probably Warhammer 40K, considering the art looks like a bunch of Space Marines, and they used the Imperiums term for scorched earth operations.
Despite a few words being wrong, we would highly caution how things advance. Tactically they are exposed, no known knowledge of their capabilities thus their own pony enemies when magic is concerned. It might be true that this 'team' has the upper hand by equipment, but that means nothing if the enemy gets a lucky head shot or worse divides the human team to a more manageable solution then strip them down.
Though admittedly they will be noticeably different to the humans there by being 'Space Marines' in body, depending on the size or condition they could be physically be better then a earth pony. the humans here are likely not of a military background but enjoy the game they cosplayed as, which will work against them if they don't adapt and train themselves on the uses where a military trained individual could out maneuver them.
6488985 Warhammer 40K & The "Your Human and You" verse, where humans never got pass the "Cave Men' stage of intelligence and became cheap slave laborers... or something like that...
I find my self liking this, can't wait for more.
He's right this is going to be fun
In the name of the God Emperor and in fealty to the Golden Throne I declare extermimatis on this world. I sign the death warrant of a entire world and a billion souls to oblivion. May imperial justice account for all balance. The Emperor Protects.
A fucking Mazing, Space Marines and the Your Human and You verse! Hey you should add this to Humans are Superior group and the Humans are Magnificent group.
Oh you bastard.. i was working on a YHaY 40k story.
Whelp! time to read anyways!
Look at aaaaaaall the smurfs.
SPEES MARINS KILL FUR THE EMPERUR!!!!!!!!!!
Spess mehreens! Today the enemeh is at our dooh! You know what yor duty is and you mus do eeit!
Oh yesssssssss
I wanted to see something like this
How tall are 40k suits?
6491037 between 8-10 ft depending on the height of the wearer. Still head ans shoulders above everyone else though. Muscles out to next week and a brain augmented by the best tech priests. 40k, where everything except normal humans are big and badass.
6491037 I think the smallest Space Marine is around 8ft.
Drive me closer, i want to hit those ponies with my sword!
You got the source material wrong. In the YHaYverse(?), humans are nothing more than domesticated animals for labouring purposes.
Also, they don't show any real signs of emotion. And why would the highlight of the town be the slave auction house?
Get an editor, btw. Like really, get an editor.
Men, women, and children
more images appeared, showing
a barracks. One of them
as one of the images shows
!?
failing to do so
him on the back
This goes on for a while.
One chapter and I can already tell this is going to be all kinds of awesome!
Aww man, 6 knifes? So lucky, did you bribe Gaben or something? Also, FUCK THE PONES!
I think you're a little mixed up. While I'm not the greatest fan of Your Human and You (the OC is a little problematic and the fact that pony mares all seem to want sex with the animalistic, non sapient humans is just weird) it definitely doesn't deplict slavery of humans by ponies. While various ponies in the fic are guilty of amoral, in some cases outright evil, abuses towards the humans, these are the antagonists; they are not cast in a positive light.
Even said antagonists are no more guilty of enslaving humans than I am of enslaving my pet labrador; with the sole exception of the protagonist, all the humans in that setting are non sapient animals with about the same intelligence as a dog and rather less than a chimp. Most of them are kept as pets, and well treated. The fic has been compared to Planet of the Apes.
The idea that all the ponies (ponies, not antho's) in that setting (and possibly in general) should be wiped out by vengeful space marines as a matter of natural justice is frankly ludicrous. The fact that so many commentors appear delighted by the idea is disturbing.
6491512 The Pony human sex desire isn't just weird, it's downright disturbing, also the OC takes the lot he's dealt with FAR to easily. I don't really like the fic either, but your other points, yeah I agree with them.
This really isn't a fic about what the Your Human and You story is about, the humans there are simple animals, it's pretty much a role reversal of us and horses, except Humans are much more prominent in Equestria. This fic just seems to be an excuse to get Space Marines murdering Anthropomorphic ponies, and it's about as well written as I thought it would be.
And Spartan, sorry about how harsh this is, but if you're even willing to hear me out, I'd advise you take some time to really think about your setting and do some planning than just rush out something that popped into your mind.
6492735
6491512
I originally plan to introduce the human slaves as intelligent beings in the first chapter but decided to post that idea in the next chapter.
6491328
Fixed.
6491512
Is it just me or does that happen a lot with Your Human and You spinoffs? Maybe they're all confusing YHAY with Chains or something. Neither explains why they're anthro in this story.
6488985
Bad and worse, basically. It's a Displaced fic combined with a "humans enslaved" fic that has the Your Human and You title despite not having anything to do with that story.
6491263
6494252
If it were Chains based it wouldn't have bugged me enough to comment. I'm no fan of YHaY, as I said, but this blatant misrepresentation is still deeply annoying. Thow in the fact it's a displaced fic with a heavy 'let's have us an excuse to kill all ponies via our shitty space marine self insert avatars' vibe an I couldn't resist calling it out on it's bullshit.
Normally, I ignore displaced utterly; it's awful, sure, and for many good reasons, but little is generally to be gained by pointing out that in the comments sections of displaced fics. It's the combination of shitty things that mark out this fic: displaced, kill all ponies and the misrepresentation of another setting. A triumvirate of bullshit, if you will.
No idea about the antho thing. It's not from YHaY, that's for sure. Also, have an apology as well. This comment was delivered with rather more foul language than is my habit. This fic has simply rubbed me the wrong way.
6494311
I can't really complain about the language. I swear more or less constantly, but not so much online.
I can also relate to how you feel about this fic. I hate stories that are just thinly veiled excuses for a bunch of glorious ubermensch to kill evil ponies. I also hate clumsy wish fulfillment stories. I'm tired of people trying to combine the fanatical hatred that fuels Warhammer with cute little ponies in serious stories. I wish I could slap this story.
*As much as I hate stories where the glorious pony master race saves all the horrible monkeys from themselves
6494368
Quite. Balance, pragmatism and shades of grey are your friends when writing HiE fics of any stripe
We have arrived. And it is now we perform our charge.
They stand on two legs and have hands...
...yet he has to take his helmet off for them to realize he is human.
That could just be me spewing nonsense though.
Very Mediocre.
6496229
Ooooooohh...
...I didn't see that tag the first five times.
I am blind.
There is no such thing as overkill, there's only fire and reload.
Too many god damned ultra smurfs!
6496402 There is such a thing, but there's no kill quite as satisfying as overkill
6496402 Not enough Dakka
Wow. Self-insert wish fulfillment that butchers it's source material. This has to be a troll fic.
6498029
6496402
static.fjcdn.com/pictures/Still+not+enough+dakka+red+wunz+goin+fasta_6adc37_5308167.jpg
When will a new chapter come out this is a good idea for a storyline and I can't wait :)
Love it or hate it, you have to admit, it'll be interesting.
Moar!
6496402
The is no such thing as overkill. Just varying degrees of Dakka...
...... For all Holy and Scared in all Empire.... WHY ULTRASMURFS? The only this worse would be Kaldor Draigo.......... or comapny of Bloody Magpies since they would just steal evrything.
But you habe a small minus that no one from them didin't go as Custodes since you know no one would resist the power of fabulous
i.warosu.org/data/tg/img/0395/50/1429987811928.png
...
...
This is very poorly written. The grammar is better than some of the bad stories I have read, but the pacing is... Absurd. It is almost all telling, with little showing. You give no background. No exposition. Nothing to make us care about the characters. Instead, you have this:
You simply threw shit at us to try and make us hate the ponies. And this is in the first three or four paragraphs.
The rest only gets worse.
This... It has recieved far better reception than it should have. Congratulations, you just got a story on my Painful bookshelf.
6512521 What in the name of Terra on fucking roller skates is this?
Well, it is slightly better than before. It just needs a few spelling errors corrected, maybe easing the tide from being rushed, etc. Etc.
TF2 DISPENSER
Pootis
Lamias...
I think i know the anime
Child looking harpies
Yup Monster Musume or also called everyday life with monster girls. I would die of laughter if oone of our MC become the darling or master.
And now the operation begins.
PURIFY the world of all heresy!!!!!
And give Sandvich.