Ponyville confessions

by Lunaexcelsior

Queen Chrysalis

So I’m sitting there, tending bar, when in comes a creature I hadn’t seen for a while now, Queen Chrysalis.

Now, you would think that, after her defeat, Chrysalis would want nothing to do with Ponyville, but she had actually been one of my regulars recently. I mean ‘ell, if you ran a hive of a couple of hundreds hatchlings, you’d be spending a lot of time at the local watering hole as well.

So, she sits down, and I notice how battered and bruised she looks. I mean, she ain’t the prettiest mare around, but she never looked this beaten down.

Her mane was all tugged and split, under her eyes were large black bags of sleep deprivation and on top of all that, she reeked of something indistinguishable.

“Your, highness”, I address her, “What happened to you?”

“Give my usual and I’ll tell you all about”, she said to me.

Now, Chrysalis usual is a bit of an odd mixture of a rainbow extract, a hint of a love poison and a dash of bug juice. It also reeks to high heavens, but her scent was no better, so it kind of evened out.

As she finished her drink, she was finally ready to talk.

“Angelo”, she said to me, “Do you have any kids?”

“No, not really”, I replied to her, “I am more of acarrier oriented stallion”.

“Good!” she said, “Don’t even think about having kids. They’ll just buck up your entire existence”.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“I am a mother of one hundred and forty six different changelings”, she said to me, “For the most part, I deal with them just fine. When they are hungry, I give them food. When they are sad, I comfort them. But then”, she said and pointed to me to pour her another round.

Once I poured her another glass she continued, “You have some ungrateful little pipsqueaks who go around promoting some sort of a revolution against Celestia. Celestia, for crying out loud!” she yelled.

“Well didn’t you do something similar?” I asked her.

“Well yeah”, she replied, “but I had tact and style. That worthless worm just went all trigger happy with his lies. And to think”, she said, while rubbing her templates, “after I explicitly told him not to do that”.

“So what’s the problem?” I asked, “It was his fault not yours”.

“Tell that to Celestia”, Chrysalis said and took a sip out of her drink, “She’s punishing me for what happened”.

“How’s she doing that?” I asked.

“Well”, Chrysalis began, “You know how I am employed as a babysitter?”

“Yeah”, I replied.

“As it turns it, Celestia appointed me to the Cakes’ children”, she said.

“Oh no”, I replied and shivered. The Cakes were nice and all, but their children were quite the little demons.

“Oh yeah”, she replied, “I have to take care of them for the rest of this month. I don’t know how I will survive with those two monsters” she said.

“Well they can’t be that bad”, I said.

“You think so, don’t you?” she said, “Let me put in these terms: I would rather take care of a thousand changelings then be one more second with these monsters! You know what they did to me?”

“What?” I asked.

“One of them actually threw a bathtub at me!” she said “A bucking bathtub! Luckily, I took a foirm of a unicorn so I protected myself”, she said and gulped down the rest of her drink.

“That’s horrible!” I said in shock, “So what did you do?”

“The only thing I knew”, Chrysalis replied, “I stuck the little bastards in a cocoon for two minutes and, once they were firmly asleep, placed them in their bed”, she explained with a devious smile.

I looked at her in shock.

“Why would you do that?” I asked.

“Hey, if it’s good for a changeling hatchling, it’s good for a pony filly”, she replied.

I nodded in agreement as her phone rang.

“Urgh! Time to feed the beasts”, she said, taking the form of a yellow unicorn with a pacifier cutie mark.

“Good luck”, I said to her as she paid for the drinks.

“Thanks”, she replied and left the restaurant in a hurry.

You see a lot of weird things as a bartender. You see a lot of weird things at the Hay Palace. So, I see a lot of weird things as a bartender at the Hay Palace. And that’s no lie. Swear on me mum.

Comments

[nioniosbbbb]

Poor Queen.

[Titanium Blade]

Not even the Gravity gun can throw a bathtub.
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...They are demons...