Ponyville confessions

by Lunaexcelsior

Prince Blueblood

So I’m sitting there, tending bar, when in comes one of my least favorite customers, prince Blueblood.

Now, I cannot even begin to describe how much I despise this stuck up snot nosed twerp. He always talks to me like I am beneath him, just because he is in a very far far FAR relation to the Diarchs. And this time was no exception.

So the smug bastard walks in looking all high and mighty with his pompous mane floating everywhere.

I rolled my eyes and watched him trot over to my bar. For some reason, all the mares in the bar started fawning over him and a few even followed him to the bar.

“Ladies, ladies”, he began, “Please sustain yourselves. I might be the richest and handsomest pony you ever met in your life, but please, take your turn”, he smugly winked at them.

I actually saw a few of those mares fall unconscious because of that.

“Oi, Mr. Blueblood”, I started, but he looked at me like he was going to bloody kill me.

“What did you just call me knave?” he began smugly, “Do you not know who I am? I am Prince Blueblood, fifty second descendant to the throne”.

“So there are fifty one ponies already in front of you?” I joked.

He became furious.

“I shall not be belittled by a simply wench! Now get me my Cosmopilatan or I will have you on the streets you filthy peasant!” he continued to moan.

“Fine”, I said and made him his drink. I was debating with myself whether to serve with extra spit, but it could’ve hurt me more so I chose not to.

“Here you go, you twat”, I said, openly defying him.

“Thank you, stinking knave”, he said and took his drink. One sip and he spat it at my face.

“It’s too warm, do another”, he commanded me.

I made him the next one and the royal pain was finally semi satisfied. As he is sitting there, I saw him actually dejecting a few advances of pretty good looking mares.

I had a hunch of what was going on, but I wanted to make sure for myself.

“Why so coy today, royal pain?” I asked.

“I beg your pardon!” he exclaimed.

“Well you usually enjoy the presence of mares, but today you’re quite reserved”, I said.

He scoffed at me, “Well if you must know, I found a beautiful mare of high class and intelligence”.

“You’re not thinking of Ms. Dis Lis , are you?” I asked, holding back my laughter.

“And what if I am”, he asked, “She’s a beautiful princess and a complete suite for my brilliance”.

“Oh yeah”, I said, throwing in the hook, “Well, it just happens that MS. Dis Lis has been here just a few days prior and told me some interesting things”.

I could see a sparkle in his eyes. He was hooked.

“What would be that?” he asked, cocking an eyebrow.

“Well, she complained how passive you were”, I said, holding off my devious smile, “She likes a direct approach, so be direct!”

He thought for a second and then nodded his head in approval.

“You’re right”, he said, “I do need to be more assertive and direct with her! Thanks knave. There’s a special coin for you right here”, he said and paid for the drink.

As he walked out, I rubbed my mustache sinisterly, because that’s what we mustache enthusiasts like to do from time to time, and watched the comedy unfold. Suffice to say, he got hoofed so hard, that half of his face became completely blue.

Serves him right for calling me a knave.

You see a lot of weird things as a bartender. You see a lot of weird things at the Hay Palace. So, I see a lot of weird things as a bartender at the Hay Palace. And that’s no lie. Swear on me mum.

Comments

[Phantom Dragon]

Ha ha! That's what you get

[Titanium Blade]

For this chapter, my only regret is that I have but one like to give.