• Published 22nd Jul 2015
  • 693 Views, 89 Comments

Ponyville confessions - Lunaexcelsior



This is Angelo. Angelo works as a bartender in a five star restaurant, the Hay Palace. There some of Ponyville’s biggest celebrities come in to have a drink. Sometimes they share stories and even secrets.

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Pinkie Pie

So I’m sitting there, tending bar, when in comes one of my most interesting customers, Pinkie Pie.

Now, Pinkie Pie is a very energetic mare and this time was no exception.

She walked in with a wide grin plastered on her face and skipped to the bar. Well, I say skipped, but it was more like just one big leap to the bar.

She plopped down on one of the stools and glared at me with her big smiling eyes.

“So what’ll it be, Ms. Pie?” I asked her.

“Fun”, she said, beginning to be a bit jitterier than usual.

“Beg your pardon”, I said.

”Fun”, she yelled with the same bloody wide smile, “fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun!!” she kept yelling.

Now it was at this point that she became very energetic. She started to jump around the bar all crazy like.

She was dancing on tabletops, playing with me jukebox, which I played 200 bloody bits for, and just generally annoying my guests.

“Ms. Pie, what is the meaning of this?” I asked her, genuinely surprised. I mean, I know her reputation is that she is a fun loving gal, but this was just too much!

“Fun!” she said, looking at me with crazy eyes. She jumped on top of my head. I thought it was impossible to do that without crushing my school, but hey, shows what I know.

As she jumped on me head, she took my moustache and tied in a bow. Needless to say, I was becoming rather pissed.

I started chasing the crazy mare around the restaurant.

As I chased her, we bumped into tables, chasing away customer by customer.

Well, it took me a loss of ten customers and a few broken plates, but I finally caught her and threw the annoying mare by her mane.

“Well that’s that”, I thought to myself smugly.

However, the nightmare wasn’t even nearly over.

I started clearing the bar of the mess that mare made when all of a sudden I heard a rumble. I thought it was a bloody earthquake!

So, I looked through the window, when the absolute horror struck my eyes.

A dozen of Pinkie Pies rushed towards my restaurant. Well, at least I knew why Pinkie Pie was acting like she was.

I sighed out of defeat and waved a metaphoric white flag as the pink horde rushed through my doors.

Any customer that was left went screaming out of the doorway as the flood of pink fluffy mane rushed in.

I had pretty much enough of this so I just walked up to the bar and opened the bottle of vodka as the apocalypse began.

The pink nuisance screamed “FUN!” in unison as they wrecked the entire place. They jumped on the table, threw glasses at each and yelled at the most annoying frequency.

And I was just sitting there, filling my muzzle with vodka.

“Oh look”, I said, nearly breaking into tears, as the Pinkies destroyed my jukebox, “There goes 200 bits”.

Well just as their hurricane raged, two mares rushed in. It was Twilight and the real Pinkie Pie.

“Uh oh”, Pinkie Pie said.

Twilight put her hoof to her forehead.

“I’ll blast them”, she sighed in defeat.

They got the clone Pinkies out as fast as they could.

“I am really sorry for causing all this trouble, sir”, Pinkie Pie said and handed me a check for the damages. She even covered the jukebox restoration.

“It’s okay Pinkie”, I said, “but why, in the good name of Celestia, did you create so many clone?”

“I just wanted to see if they had changed”, Pinkie Pie said with large smile.

“Really?” I asked.

“Yeah”, she said, “I added in one of Twilight’s potions to see if they would make more efficient clones”.

“And how did it turn out?” I asked, sarcastically.

“Same as the first time”, she replied with a sigh of defeat.

You see a lot of weird things as a bartender. You see a lot of weird things at the Hay Palace. So, I see a lot of weird things as a bartender at the Hay Palace. And that’s no lie. Swear on me mum.