Ponyville confessions

by Lunaexcelsior

Carrot Top

So I’m sitting there, tending bar, when in comes one of my lesser known customers, Carrot Top.

Now sure Ms. Top was here and there, but not a lot is known about her. However, I had the opportunity to actually talk to her and she seemed like a nice enough mare. I mean she is no Twilight Sparkle, but she does carry a certain unique quality with her, most notably her love for gardening and, of course, carrot harvest.

So she walks in and sits by the bar.

“What’ll it be today, Ms. Top”, I asked her.

“Carrot juice, as usual”, she said with a smile.

“Coming right up”, I responded and poured in her drink.

“Oh and please don’t call me Carrot Top ever again”, she said and sighed with despair.

“Why’s that?” I asked her.

“Well”, she began, “since that portal to the human world has been made public I actually found out a lot of interesting stuff about their world.”

“Really”, I said in surprise, “What kind of things?”

“They have some rather cool things there”, she began enthusiastically, “Like for example they have these interesting techniques about
insecticides and melioration. It’s amazing how they use, but I don’t think I could cross it over here”, she said.

“Why not?” I asked her.

“Mostly because I don’t think their poisons would work on parasprites or different bugs”, she said and sipped out her drink, “but a bigger issue would be that it seems to cause more harm than good. I mean those poisons stick to the fruits and not to mention that their uncontrolled melioration causes quite a few problems. Like for example- -“ she began to take wind, but I had to stop her. I seriously did not need an ecological lecture.

“That’s all fine and dandy”, I interjected, “but you still haven’t told me why you decided to change your name.”

“Oh, that”, she said, finally remembering the topic of our conversation, “Sorry, I sometimes ramble off on topics of eco friendly carrot harvesting.”

“I can see”, I commented.

“Okay, so get this”, she said, “As it turns out, there is a human in their world also named Carrot Top.”

“You don’t say?” I said in surprise.

“I’m not even kidding”, she sighed, “And to top it off he is a performer. A comedian, no less.”

“Sounds interesting”, I said, “but that still doesn’t explain why you changed your name.”

“I was getting to that”, she said, sounding slightly annoyed, “Naturally after I heard about this performer that bears the name of yours truly, I
had to check out some of his work”, she said and took a gulp out of her drink.

“How was he?” I asked hear, fearfully.

“Awful”, she said, “Granted, I only watched one of his movies, something about him being an inventor and it was just painful”, she said shaking her head in disappointment.

“It couldn’t have been that bad”, I said, waving it off.

“It was unbearable! The jokes wouldn’t make little fillies laugh and those who could be entertained by it, probably would, forgive my language, piss themselves in fear of how freakish this guy looks!” she exclaimed.

“Sounds rough”, I nodded my head, “but that still doesn’t seem like a good enough reason to discard your own name”.

She looked me straight in the eyes and handed me a picture.

One glance was all that it took for me to understand everything. I looked at her in horror, tossing the picture as far away as I could.

“My sympathy goes to you, dear, umm, how do I call you now?” I asked.

“Just call me Golden Harvest”, she said.

We, symbolically, shook hooves and she returned to her drink.

We then talked a bit about advance farming equipment before she went back to tend to her carrots, but that's not all that interesting.

You see a lot of weird things as a bartender. You see a lot of weird things at the Hay Palace. So, I see a lot of weird things as a bartender at the Hay Palace. And that’s no lie. Swear on me mum.

Comments

[kratosarar]

so letme get the straight this entire fic is a massive reference to Doug Walker's series of videos called "video game confesions" and then you go and reference chairman of the board wich would later be reviewed by said Doug Walker in another of his polular series of videos "the nostalgia critic"......i think this deserves the title of REFERENCEPTION