Ponyville confessions

by Lunaexcelsior

Fleur dis Lis

So I’m sitting there, tending bar, when in comes one of my favorite customers, Fleur dis Lis.

Now it’s not really hard to understand why Fleur is one of my favorites.

I mean her very presence is that of an elegance and sophistication. I mean every stallion turns their heads once she walks in.

Such a shame that none of them have even the slightest chance with her.

So she sits down by the bar and I can already see one stallion glaring at her and sizing her down. She must have noticed him as well, because he begins to creep up on her.

“Did it hurt?” he asked her.

“I am sorry, did what hurt?” she asked him politely.

“When you fell from heaven! Boo ya!” he starts boasting.

I just try to sustain my laughter, because quite frankly I don’t know which is worse: him hitting on Fleur or him using that stupid line thinking it
would work.

Fleur just smiles to him.

“Oh, honey”, she says sweetly to the stallion, “you are not only barking at the wrong tree, but you’re in the wrong forest”.

The second she said that, I could see all hope disappear from the stallions face as he trotted away in defeat.

“That was cold”, I commented.

“Perhaps”, she said, “but how can you reject somepony nicely?”

I nodded in agreement.

“So what’ll it be today, Ms. Dis Lis?” I asked her.

“Just give me Aphrodite’s special”, she said and sighed.

“What’s wrong?”, I asked, as I prepared her drink (which was orange, pineapple and lime juice, sprinkled with rose water and rum).

“I’ve been just unlucky with mares, that’s all”, she said.

“Ahh, Rarity blew ya off, ei?” I asked.

“Figures she would tell you”, she smirked, “I just thought I have found everything in her: elegance, poise, manners, finesse …Ahh, she had it all.
And then I found out she is into stallions”, Fleur sighed in exasperation and sipped her drink, “The one mare in fashion industry that is into stallions and fall head over heels for her”.

“Now, you know how we stallions feel”, I joked with her.

She laughed.

“Yeah, I guess so”, she said with a smile on her face, “It just angers me that I managed to ruin everything I had with her. It’s just awkward between us, because of all this. I really messed it up”, she sighed, “I should have listened to Fancypants when he told me to take a step back”, she said and sipped more of her drink.

“While we are on topic of Fancypants”, I said, “What’s the deal between you two?”

“What ever do you mean?” she asked.

“Well, it’s just that I have seen you together around Canterlot”, I said, “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you have a thing for him”.

Fleur gave a hearty laugh.

“No, no, he’s just a very good friend of mine”, she said, “He helped me when I first came to Canterlot and has been a great support to me for
the longest time. Heck, he was one of the rare stallions that supported my true feelings, so there’s nothing between us”, she explained,

“However, I’d be rather tied with him than that smug nuisance, Blueblood”.

“What makes ya say that?”

“I saw how he looks at me”, she said, “Seizing me down like I’m a piece of meat and smiling at me like he is the slickest motherbucker in the world. Such a royal pain”.

“I feel ya”, I said, “but at least he’s not getting handsy”.

“He better not”, she said and gulped down the rest of her drink, “because if he does try to do that, I’ll show him what for”.

“What do you mean?” I ask slyly.

“Well”, she began, “let’s just say that ‘Thorned Rose’ has a few tricks up her sleeves” she winked at me and paid for the drink.

I nodded back at her and waved goodbye.

You see a lot of weird things as a bartender. You see a lot of weird things at the Hay Palace. So, I see a lot of weird things as a bartender at the Hay Palace. And that’s no lie. Swear on me mum.

Comments

[nioniosbbbb]

You know this is funny. I'd like for once to see Fleur De Lis depicted as a supermodel like Paris Hilton that ends up participating in sex tapes, not because she's out of money or everything, but because of how rotten she must be inside.