Loud Mouth vs. Ace Artisan - Winner: Ace Artisan (by Vote)
The Lady and the Architect - by Loud Mouth's Author
“Who in Celestia’s name designed this room? It looks like Discord had a case of food poisoning.”
“Shut up, Ace.”
“Plastic chairs, wooden tables; nothing matches! It’s a shame, honestly. This is such a well-designed building, otherwise. Coltbusier did this one, I think—ow!” Ace yipped, jumping in his seat. He reached down to massage his now-throbbing fetlock. “What was that for?”
Sitting next to him, Nocturne glared. “Did it ever occur to you that maybe you shouldn’t be spending the day insulting the place where I might end up working?”
Ace opened his mouth to argue—but all that came was a sigh. “Point taken,” he said, looking away. “Sorry.”
Nocturne kept her glower steady for a few more moments before letting a smile break through. She sat back in her seat and murmured, “It’s no problem, Artie. Thanks for coming with me. I know how much you hate traveling.”
Ace shrugged. “Eh, it’s only an hour train ride from Canterlot to Manehattan. Nothing too serious.”
“I guess. It’s weird to think I’ll be taking that train twice a day from now on,” Nocturne said. “At least, assuming I get the job.”
“You’re not exactly applying to become the next Princess,” Ace said with a smirk. “It’s just a secretary job. It shouldn’t be hard to get.”
“That’s easy for you to say, Mr. ‘I’m the Only Earth Pony in a Field of Unicorns.’” Nocturne cast a wary glance across the waiting room, over to the hallway that she knew would lead her to her interview. “This is the biggest radio station in Equestria. The pony who runs this place is important, y’know? I do well here, that means a job with Galactic Records sometime down the line. And a job at Galactic Records means money.”
“Since when do you care so much about money?”
“Since you started buying the cheap toilet paper ‘to cut costs.’”
Once again, Ace opened his mouth, but closed it just as quickly.
The sharp sound of hoofsteps echoed from the hallway, filling the room and making Nocturne go rigid in her seat. “Here we go,” she murmured to Ace, her words accented by a giggle. “It’s showtime!”
As she tittered on, a pegasus entered the room, staring down at a small clipboard she held in her wing. The mare was tall, almost gangly, and she walked with a flinching gait, as if her toothpick legs were ready to snap under her at any moment. To Nocturne, this pegasus was most certainly not the kind of pony she pictured when she thought of the word “boss.” Rather, this pegasus screamed “intern.”
Nevertheless, Nocturne put on her best smile and sat up a bit straighter, waiting for her name to be called. For the slightest of moments, she looked to her coltfriend—only to frown as she saw his pale, frozen face.
Still reading the clipboard, the pegasus walked a bit further into the room, headed for where they sat. “Um, ‘Nocturne?’” she read. She looked up. “Is there a Noc—“
Silence. A thick, horrendous silence descended upon the room as Ace Artisan and the pegasus locked eyes, only a few steps away from one another. Their eyes were wide and their jaws were slack, as if they had both just witnessed a massacre of the highest order.
As their staring contest went on, Nocturne threw her gaze between the two, waiting for something, anything to happen. When a full thirty seconds had passed with no movement—not even a breath—from either side, she cleared her throat. “Uh, are you—“
“Loud?” Ace choked out.
The pegasus squeaked and flared her wings. Without another sound, she spun around and sprinted away, back down the hallway she had come from. A familiar quiet flooded the room as the intern’s hoofsteps faded into the distance.
Ace looked like he was still recovering his ability to breathe, taking deep, shuddering breaths. It certainly didn’t help that Nocturne had leapt onto his chair, grabbed him by the scruff of his neck with her magic, and lifted him into the air.
“What did you do?!” she screamed.
Ace shook his head. “That was Loud Mouth.”
“Who?!”
“Loud Mouth,” he repeated, voice shaking. “Loud Mouth.”
Nocturne clenched her teeth and prepared a torrent of curses—but froze as the name bounced through her mind. She weakened her hold on him. “Wait, wait,” she said, jumping off the chair. “That was Loud Mouth. The Loud Mouth? That mare you dated all through college?”
Ace nodded. “Yep.”
The hairs on the back of Nocturne’s neck went stiff. “The mare you broke up with in front of all of her friends and humiliated?”
“Also true—ow!”
As he rubbed his fetlock, Nocturne paced in front of him, wisps of smoke trailing from her mane. “You, you… do you know what you’ve done? You just cost me a job!” Nocturne turned to face him. “They’re never gonna hire me when they find out I brought a pig like you along!”
“Hey, that’s racist—ow!” Ace swore and curled into his seat. “Okay, okay, I get it! I messed up. But Loud isn’t the type of mare to just out someone like that. Back when we were dating, she was the kindest mare I knew!”
“And you broke her heart.”
“Hey, if I hadn’t done it, we could have never gotten together!”
Nocturne rolled her eyes and walked away. “And what a tragedy that would have been.”
“Where are you going?” Ace asked, hopping out of his seat.
“I’m going to find this Loud Mouth mare so you can apologize to her, and so I can get my job!” Nocturne called, across the room at this point.
“Oh, come on!” Ace groaned. “Do I really have—“
Nocturne shot him a glare that could have set a timberwolf ablaze.
He scrambled to catch up with her.
He found me.
A thin sheen of sweat wrapped around Loud Mouth’s forehead as she tried to stuff her lunch into an already-full saddlebag. Her cheeks burned, and her mane looked like it had just been through a wood chipper. She shoved her daisy sandwich into the bag, not even caring as it was crushed against her clipboard.
She had to leave. She had to. There was no other choice. Not as long as he was out there, speaking with his stupid voice, and walking around with his stupid mane, moving his stupid abs…
She banged her canteen against her forehead, trying desperately to knock the thoughts out of her mind. And yet, they remained, scurrying through her brain like rabid mice. Memories of long walks on the beach; romantic moonlit dinners; endless piles of architecture magazines, stacked so high that her dorm room floor had begun to buckle…
“Yo, LoMo!”
Loud Mouth shrieked and threw her canteen into the air, only just barely avoiding it as it came crashing back down. She shook as she turned around—only to let out a relieved breath as she saw who was behind her. “Oh,” she said, smiling. “Hey, Whammy.”
Whammy Bar walked past and flumped into a seat across the table from her. Groaning, she let all of her limbs go slack, hanging off the chair. “Ugh. Neon Lights is out sick, so the boss had me take over for his electronica broadcast. Never heard such annoying music…”
Although her teeth still clattered, Loud allowed herself a giggle. In the year she had been working at 103.4, Loud hadn’t made many friends; most ponies there were too busy with their own lives for Loud to really get to know. And yet, here was Whammy. She ran her own radio show, was constantly getting interviewed, was a big star… and yet, she still had time to talk to Loud.
“What’s up with you?” Whammy asked, raising a brow. “You seem jumpy.”
“Nothing!” Loud said, looking away. A cloud of pink swirled through her cheeks. “Nothing, really. I’m fine!”
Whammy lidded her eyes. “It’s a stallion, ain’t it?”
Loud nodded.
“I knew it,” Whammy said with a smirk. She sat up a bit straighter and cracked her neck before putting on a coy smile and leaning over the table, taking Loud’s hoof in hers. “I wanna hear everything. Who is he? Is he cute? Does he have a brother?”
Loud rested her head on her hooves, a deep frown on her face. “His name is Ace Artisan. We both went to Canterlot University for the Arts. He was my last coltfriend,” she squeaked.
“Ooh.” Whammy’s eyes went wide as her smirk disappeared. “That’s hard. You liked him?”
“Totally,” Loud said, sighing. “We met Freshman year, and it was like love at first sight. We did everything together! Went to movies, listened to the radio, went to all his favorite museums… He was studying to be an architect, so he used to spend hours showing me all of his ideas and sketches. He was always so good at it.”
As she spoke, the smallest of smiles danced across her lips—only to die within seconds as she muttered, “Then it happened.”
Whammy was on the literal edge of her seat. “What?”
“It was the day before graduation,” Loud said through a gulp. “I was out spending time with my friends, and everything was perfect. Then, without any warning, Ace walks up to me and tells me that we’re breaking up.” Loud crossed her forelegs. “No explanation. I didn’t even see him the next day, at graduation.
“Hay, I almost didn’t go; I spent most of the day crying in my room. But Dad told me he wasn’t paying forty-thousand bits a year for me to miss graduation, so I just went and cried there.” Loud shrank into her seat. “Mom didn’t take a lot of pictures that day.”
“Mhm,” Whammy murmured. She scrunched up her muzzle and tapped her chin a few times before nodding and leaning back in her chair. “Yep. I’ve seen this kinda thing loads of times.”
“You have?”
“Yeah! I saw a movie last week with the same exact story.” Whammy grinned and shot Loud a mischievous glance. “I have the perfect plan.”
Loud returned her smile. “Does it involve me working past my fears and anxieties so that I might reconcile with Ace, and maybe even rekindle a sort of friendship, rather than avoiding him and harboring regrets for the rest of my life?”
Whammy stared.
Loud looked away, cheeks pink. “Motivational speaker.”
“Right.” Whammy shook her head and leaned into Loud’s ear. “Here’s what you’re gonna do…”
It had been nearly half an hour since Ace and Nocturne had left the waiting room, and Ace was sure that he was about to throw up. Never in his life had he seen so much awful interior design—and that was quite the feat, considered he was raised in the Upper East Side of Canterlot, a neighborhood known for gaudy houses and even gaudier furniture. And yet, for fear that he may simply lose his fetlocks, he pressed on, through the valley of radio broadcasting.
It was a good thing he had his flask with him.
The two of them had walked through offices, through cubicles—they had even stepped into a radio studio, at which point the fair citizens of Equestria had been given the chance to hear Nocturne scream a particularly harsh curse word.
Nocturne took quick, jerky steps as they walked down another long hallway. “Oh, we’re never gonna find this filly! I’m never getting this stupid job.”
Ace took another swig from his flask. “It’s just a secretary job, Noc. Nothing to pull your mane out over.”
“I’ll be pulling your mane out in a second,” Nocturne muttered, speeding up a bit as she turned a corner into another hallway. “But seriously, where is—“
Nocturne skidded to a stop, and shot a foreleg out to stop Ace, too. Pursing his lips, Ace followed her gaze.
Loud Mouth was standing a few yards away from them, a saddlebag slung over her back. Her face was concealed by a dim shadow.
“Miss!” Nocturne cried, waving. “Over here! We’d like to talk to you!”
A quiet moment passed. Loud walked toward them.
Ace balanced his flask on a nearby potted plant and put on the warmest smile he could muster. In the time they had been walking, he had practiced this. All he had to do was apologize. Just say that he was sorry, that he was an idiot… the works. They would make up, and everything would be fine. They’d make up, and Nocturne wouldn’t make him sleep on the couch.
It only took a few seconds for Loud to reach them. Her wings were raised high, but her mane drooped over her eyes like a dying willow tree.
“Hey?” Ace tried.
Loud Mouth slapped him.
…Or, at least, tried to. Her trembling, skinny hoof barely made a sound against his cheek. Nocturne stared, jaw slack. Ace just stood there, eyes wide, head tilted slightly.
“That’s for breaking my heart?” Loud yelped, sounding more like she was asking a question than making a statement.
“Hey!” Nocturne sputtered, snapping out of her stupor. “You can’t just slap my coltfriend like that! Only I can slap him like that. And only when he eats all the cookies without telling me.”
Loud gasped and took a few steps back. “Your coltfriend? Goodness, sorry, I didn’t mean—“
“No, no, it’s fine,” Ace said, rubbing his cheek. “I probably deserved that.”
“You did?” Nocturne and Loud asked in unison. Loud had started sweating again.
“Yeah.” Ace took a deep breath and looked into Loud’s eyes. “Listen, Loud. I didn’t come here to embarrass you, or to open old wounds, or even to talk to you for very long, really. I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for what I did, all those years ago.”
“Really?” Loud asked, her frown weakening. “Wow, that’s really—I mean, no!” Loud scrunched up her muzzle and turned away. “I’m not forgiving you, and I don’t accept your apology, because, um…” She reached into her saddlebag with a wing and pulled out a huge stack of index cards before cycling through them, eyes moving faster than rockets. “Uh, just give me a moment here…”
Ace sat down and waited for Loud to find her answer. It was only once Nocturne elbowed him that he realized just how ridiculous the scene was.
“Loud, stop,” Ace said, rubbing his head. “I’ve got something to say.”
Loud was on her third round through the pile. She gulped and put them away.
“Again, I’m sorry for treating you the way I did,” Ace said. “I mean that. When we broke up, I was young, and stupid, and, to be honest, I was kinda jealous.”
“Huh?” Loud frowned and took a step forward. “But you used to be so good at… well, everything! How could you have ever been jealous of me?”
Ace took a deep breath before pointing at Loud’s still-flared wings.
“My…?” Loud blushed and folded her wings. “But why?”
“I’m one of the only earth ponies in a city of unicorns. I’m one of the only earth pony architects in the world. That’s not easy.” Ace shook his head, glaring at the ground. “It’s never been easy. You remember how insecure I used to be about my race. I was always scared that everyone else thought they were better than me, that I was inferior to them somehow.
“And that included you. You were a pegasi, free to roam wherever you wanted, while I was an earth pony, stuck on the ground. Do you know how much it hurt to see you fly away with your friends, off to some cloud that I would never be able to see?” Ace snorted. “That was why I broke up with you. I was so caught up in not having wings, or a horn, that I let my anger get the better of me.”
Ace’s glower softened. “I was so stupid. You never thought you were better than me, and I don’t need anypony else’s opinion to feel better about myself. I get that now.
“So, I’m sorry. Do you forgive me?”
Silence. Loud’s mouth hung. Biting her lip, Loud glanced down at her index cards—from where Nocturne stood, she could see that the topmost one read “DON’T FORGIVE HIM”—only to drop them, letting the cards scatter across the carpet.
Loud leapt forward and pulled Ace into a hug. “Of course I do, Acey.”
Ace hesitated for a moment before returning the gesture. He held Loud close to him, enjoying a special sort of warmth that he hadn’t felt in ages. As she pressed her head into his broad chest, the familiar smell of cinnamon wafted past his nose—
Nocturne cleared her throat.
Ace let go. Loud snapped back, cheeks bright. “Oh, uh,” she stammered, rubbing the back of her neck. “Sorry.”
“Uh-huh. Can we finally get to this job interview?” Nocturne asked. “I swear, I’ve been preparing for this thing for weeks!”
Ace smirked. “It’s still just a secretary job, Noc. It’s nothing—“
“Shut up, Ace.”
Loud frowned at Ace. “You say ‘secretary job’ like it’s a bad thing.”
Ace blinked. “Well, I—“
“Just because a job isn’t extravagant doesn’t mean that it’s not important,” Loud said, taking a place at Nocturne’s side. “We need secretaries! Without them, businesses couldn’t function! No lack of glitz or glamor will change that. As long as you enjoy doing something, it’s worthwhile.” She turned to Nocturne. “Have you had secretary jobs in the past?”
Nocturne was beaming. Turning up her nose, she said, “Yes.”
“And have you enjoyed them?”
“I have,” Nocturne said, shooting a pointed glance at Ace. “And I’m also very good at it.”
“Well, there you go!” Loud said, grinning. “You love doing what you’re doing, and you shouldn’t need anypony else’s opinion to feel better about it.” She winked at Ace. “Right, Acey?”
Ace opened his mouth, but no answer came.
“All those self-help books I used to read paid off,” Loud said to him, stifling a giggle. She walked away, headed to the end of the hallway. “Now, let’s go get you that job!”
Ace watched her go, jaw hanging. Smirking, Nocturne elbowed him. “What’s up with you? Still reeling from getting totally schooled by your ex?”
Ace shook his head. “Just remembering why I fell in love with her—ow!”
As he jumped around, massaging his fetlock, Nocturne rolled her eyes and walked away. “At least I can have that interview now…”
“What do you mean he’s not here?!” Nocturne screamed.
The secretary sitting outside the radio executive’s office took a moment to wipe the spittle off her face before saying, “He left five minutes ago. Perhaps if you hadn’t been nearly an hour late to your interview, you would have seen him.”
Nocturne spun around and shot a burning glare at Ace and Loud, who were sitting a few yards away. Ace threw up his hooves defensively. “Hey, I’m not the one who ran away!”
Loud gave a weak laugh. “Uh, sorry. Again.”
Nocturne kept her glare up for a few seconds before groaning at the ceiling and stalking away, tail dragging along the ground, leaving Loud and Ace to sit alone.
The two of them exchanged a silent glance.
“Do you happen to know who did the interior designing for this place?” Ace asked.
“I dunno,” Loud said, shaking her head. She smiled. “Isn’t it horrible, though?”
Foundations - by Ace Artisan's Author
The stairwell seemed so much larger at night. Loud Mouth was halfway down – only four floors left – but it still felt daunting. Her hooves landed heavily on the steps, and she walked slowly, promising herself that no, really, tomorrow she'd tell Whammy Bar the truth: that she'd let that grey unicorn stallion steal Whammy's necklace without so much as a fight.
But that was for tomorrow – it was already two in the morning. Loud Mouth had run out of ways to distract herself, so she continued the trudge back home to another sleepless night spent fighting the pillow.
She was deep in thought, pondering her the advice from one of her workshops (It's never too late to make things right!), so she didn't notice another set of hooves clacking against the steps a few floors below. However, as soon as Loud Mouth set hoof on the landing for the third floor, she spotted a large stallion with a grey coat at the bottom of the next flight.
"EEK!" Loud Mouth jumped back against the wall and froze, her thoughts racing. It's him! He's back!
The stallion barely reacted. He slowly lifted his head toward Loud Mouth.
As she stared, the icy terror in her stomach was replaced by a warm blush of her cheeks. This stallion's mane was dark blue, not brown, and he didn't have a horn. It wasn't the same pony.
Loud Mouth took a tentative step forward. "I-I'm sorry. You… You startled me."
The stallion was an earth pony, and a large one at that. He wore a light blue collared shirt, but it was a complete mess. It was wrinkled and smeared with dirt, and his coat looked no better. His deep blue mane wasn't combed, either. In fact, he looked like he'd just woken up. He frowned. His eyelids drooped, and the color had drained from his face. The eyes seemed hollow and dull with nothing behind them. Looking into them, Loud Mouth felt a wave of sadness wash over her heart – they were just like her own eyes these days.
"I apologize," he said in a low, raspy baritone, devoid of energy.
"It's…" Loud Mouth took a deep breath (It reduces stress!). "It's alright. I-I just thought you were somepony else."
The stallion didn't respond. Instead, he climbed to the third floor and fished some keys out of his pocket. "Excuse me." Loud Mouth stepped aside, and the stallion sluggishly unlocked the door and trudged in, letting it close lazily behind him.
Loud Mouth stood paralyzed for several minutes. His eyes had bothered her. Nopony should look that way, she thought. Maybe he needs somepony to talk to? Oh, but of course I didn't speak up when I had the chance. You could have finally done some good, Loud, and you blew it. You're such a–
She glanced to her side and saw that the door had caught on the latch.
For just a moment, her heart fluttered. She looked down the stairs and thought about the futility of pretending to sleep. Yes, he certainly needs somepony to talk to. She knew it was an empty gesture, an excuse to distract herself just a little longer, but it was enough. She slipped through the door.
Inside, she found herself in a dimly-lit reception area that smelled of stale air and too much cleaner. A large logo of a building with the words "Build It Higher!" was fastened to the wall. Her eyes adjusted to the dark, and she peeked around a corner to see a soul-crushingly grey cubicle farm. Only one cubicle had its lights on, and from it, she heard a sound like rattling wood.
Loud Mouth walked slowly into the maze of grey offices and called out weakly. "Hello? Sir, are you all right?"
The clacking wood stopped for a moment, then continued.
"You looked a little rough. Is everything all right?" She stepped around the corner of the cubicle and looked inside.
Blueprints littered the floor. The stallion sat hunched over a low table, and on it was a large wooden crate. Inside were colorful wooden blocks in many sizes and shapes, their paint showing wear from years of use. The stallion was examining the edge of a red rectangle in his hooves, slowly turning it over right in front of his face.
"Sir?"
He set the block down in a neat little row with a few others. His voice was shaky, tired. "Please excuse me, ma'am. I'm… I'm very busy."
Loud Mouth took half a step forward and cocked an eyebrow. She said flatly, "You're… playing with blocks."
The stallion stopped and sat motionless, fixated on the blocks. He stared at the crate for a long time, then looked at Loud Mouth. After a beat, he looked back at the crate, then back to her. He examined her up and down.
"Would–" He cleared his throat. Even with his low baritone voice, he still sounded like a foal when he asked, "Would you like to play?"
Loud Mouth paused. He's clearly unstable.
However, something inside her took pity. She nodded. "Sure." Stepping over the blueprints, she walked to the opposite side of the little table and sat down.
The stallion didn't say anything. He just continued taking individual pieces out of the box, looking them over and separating them, though Loud Mouth couldn't discern what made each row distinct. They seemed to be sorted randomly.
Loud Mouth fidgeted in the silence. "So… what brings you to the office so late, mister…" She glanced around the cubicle, spying a nameplate hanging on the wall. "Mister Artisan?"
He didn't look up. "Call me Ace."
"Sure thing, Ace," she said with some artificial bounce in her voice (Everypony loves positivity!). "You look like you've had a rough day, but maybe I can help. What happened?"
The stallion didn't acknowledge her. He reached into the box and grabbed another rectangle, testing its weight.
"You can talk to me, Ace. Strangers make the best confidants."
Ace's eyes flickered up at Loud Mouth, almost like he was glaring at her. However, he quickly resumed his work.
Her heart skipped a beat at that look – far too much like a certain security guard for comfort – but she maintained her composure. Handle emotional situations delicately. Oh, and remember that proper posture shows respect!
Loud Mouth sat up straight. "It's a very nice block set. I must admit, though, it's a bit strange to see it in such a professional setting. Not many–"
"My little brother gave them to me after graduation. I'm an architect." He nudged a block slightly to bring it perfectly in line with the others. "They help me think."
"Oh? About what?"
Ace paused, then slowly pushed a few blocks to the center of the table.
Loud Mouth tried to keep eye contact, but the coldness in Ace's expression kept her turned away. Instead, she ignored the tightness in her chest and focused on the blocks.
It seemed foalish to her at first, a grown stallion playing with toys, but the more she watched, the harder it was to look away. Ace's hooves moved slowly, but with great purpose. He set two blocks side-by-side very precisely. They appeared flush, but Ace gave a few quick taps to the block on the right, moving it almost imperceptibly closer to its mate. He then tapped the opposite side twice, and the blocks somehow seemed closer than they had been a moment ago. Loud Mouth blinked a few times – they were perfectly aligned.
She watched as Ace made a large square of red, blue, and yellow blocks with seemingly no gaps between them. His dexterity stunned her, hypnotized her, and she felt herself leaning in more and more as Ace stacked blocks along the outside edge, interlocking like bricks. He chose each block carefully, and soon, he'd made a cube, complete with long blocks to enclose the top.
Loud Mouth nearly complimented his craftsponyship, but Ace quickly reached for more. He methodically built a second cube on top of the first. His structure was two stories tall, and he carefully lined the top with triangular blocks, setting them in place and nudging them with only the slightest disturbance to the base.
She saw it now: a picture-perfect house. He'd used every block that he'd set aside.
Loud Mouth leaned back. The lamp on Ace's desk shone down on a perfect little wooden home, square in its design and as solid-looking as the building they sat in.
Ace let out a slow breath, leaning back from his hunched position. He cleared his throat again. "I should have added another layer of bricks to the first floor. It would have opened up the entryway. There's some space at the southwest corner as well, too, and that won't do if disaster strikes."
Loud Mouth blinked and shook her head. She craned her neck and examined each of the corners. "What are you talking about? It looks perfect!"
Ace frowned. "It's not good enough."
Cocking her head to the side, Loud Mouth asked, "Why not?"
Ace blinked away a tear. "Because it's not perfect. It's never going to be perfect, and I promised…" He slumped. "I promised Nocturne I'd build her the perfect house."
Oh, dear. I know that look. She spoke softly. "I'm sorry. Is she… all right?"
Ace shrugged. "I suppose. She's… angry, though."
Loud Mouth thought back to the relationship seminar, a well-attended talk she'd given about three weeks prior. What was the advice? 'Relationships take time, and that means time together!' Yes, that's it. Now, make sure he knows you empathize. She nodded and put on a showy, plastic frown. "Ah, I've seen this before. Too much time at the office, maybe?"
Ace looked up for a moment, the hint of scowl on his face. "I was out late tonight." Under his breath, he mumbled "again" before continuing. "Something important came up at work, and I had to help a friend. Or… she had to help me, rather." He brushed some of the dried mud off of his shirt. "Loam helped me straighten out my priorities, and I felt terrible, so I rushed home to tell Nocturne how much I appreciate her, but when I got there…" He trailed off.
He's opening up. Well done, Loud. "It's okay. Go on."
"She was… sobbing." Ace's lip quivered, and his voice cracked. "I-I never wanted to make her sad. And then I tried to tell her, but she said I was making excuses again, and I told her I'd fix it, but she just kept crying." His words came out faster and faster. "And then everything gets hazy and she's shouting and I'm shouting and telling her that I love her and she's shouting that she loves me but she doesn't feel like she's worth anything to me and she says–" Ace swallowed and blinked rapidly. He said, more slowly, "She says she wants to take a break, and she leaves with a small bag of her things." He looked down at the house of blocks. "And it's because I'm not good enough."
Loud Mouth felt a swelling in her chest and only a small pang of guilt at her internal glee. Finally, she'd be able to help somepony. She could make a positive difference.
She took a deep breath. First, mirror his feelings. "It sounds like you really care about her, and you're afraid that this little break might turn into something bigger." Don't forget to ask questions. "Is that right?"
Ace's expression twisted into something like a weak snarl. "Yeah."
Open-ended questions. Keep him talking. "What would you like to happen?"
Ace sighed, still looking at his creation. "I want to be with her, and I want her to be happy with me." He half-chuckled. "And I want to keep my promise and build her the perfect house. Home. The perfect home."
Loud Mouth put on her warmest smile and nodded slowly. "That would be very nice." Now, connect it back to what's important. "And what do you think Nocturne wants?"
Ace pursed his lips, and his tone got a touch sharper. "She wants to feel supported. Nocturne has a career to think about, too – she's a singer at the Conservatory, and I've only ever missed one of her shows."
Ah, now we're getting to the root of it. "And why did you miss it?"
"Work." Ace glared, and Loud Mouth felt a chill in her heart. She shrunk back, and something ate at her insides. Ace was giving off some kind of vibe, something she didn't like.
Never get angry when you're listening. "Well, then I can understand her frustration, but you know, everypony makes mistakes. In time, I'm sure she'll understand that."
"That's the thing, though." His voice had gotten softer, and he traced little circles on the table with his hoof. "I'm not entirely convinced it was a mistake." His shoulders sank. "At least, I didn't think so at the time. We both know how important this project is for me, for us." He moved his hoof to a corner of the house. "But I let that get in the way of what was important. I don't deserve her."
With a flick of his hoof, he knocked away a corner block. It slid over to Loud Mouth's side of the table with a hollow scratching noise. Loud Mouth snapped her attention to the block house, but it remained solid.
She frowned. Don't think like that, Ace. It only makes your life miserable. I would know. She forced herself to smile and look up at him. "Ace, we both know that isn't true." She didn't, but her training and experience told her that this was what ponies needed to hear. "You sound very devoted, both to your work and your marefriend. You just need to prioritize." She fished around in her mind for something to lighten the mood. "Unless you really want to marry your work!"
Ace rolled his eyes.
Everypony loves a good laugh! She giggled with a little, "Hm-hm!"
Ace ignored her. "There's more. Her friends…" His hoof moved toward the northeast corner of the house.
Loud Mouth started to reach out a hoof to stop him, but she hesitated.
"Nocturne's got so many friends. She says they like me, but I'm… They always seem uncomfortable when I'm around, like I'm a pariah. Like I'm…" His eyes flickered up to his forehead, then back to the table. His body sagged. "Like I'm not really one of them." He flicked away another block, which tipped off the edge of the table and knocked against the floor.
The house had shifted slightly. Loud Mouth could see a few spaces between the blocks.
She cleared her throat, and nodded. "I know what you mean. It can be tough to fit in. I'm certainly not the prettiest mare around, and I'm too gangly, and things haven't always gone my way, but it doesn't get me down."
Liar. She shook off that thought and tried to replace it. Remember, relate your advice to something they can–
"Oh!"
Ace's head snapped up, and his drooping eyes shot open. "What?"
Loud Mouth smiled wide. "It's like your house!" She pointed down to it. "You've built a strong foundation, and look! It's survived some pretty big blunders. You just need to repair it, and it will be good as new."
Perfect! Loud Mouth smiled from ear to ear.
Ace's eyes narrowed, and he spoke with hardly any inflexion. "Yes, I am aware that it's a metaphor. Why do you think I'm finding it so cathartic to take apart?"
Loud Mouth felt a lump in her throat that made it difficult to speak, and her smile quickly faded. "Uh, well… still…"
Ace's voice was even, if a little rough. "I'm not an idiot, and I would thank you not to talk down to me so much."
He doesn't understand. These techniques really work! She leaned forward with a hoof on the table. "Ace, I'm sorry if I've offended, but you really should listen to what I'm saying. I've got lots of experience helping ponies."
Well, trying to help.
When Loud Mouth didn't get a response, she said, "Let's start over. I don't think I've even introduced myself. My name is–"
"Loud Mouth."
She sat bolt upright, eyes wide. "O-oh! I'm sorry, I guess I must have forgotten that I'd… already told you?" The conversation replayed in her head, but she couldn't remember doing so.
"You didn't."
"Silly me, then." Loud Mouth looked down at her body. "Did I leave my nametag on myself again or–"
Ace spoke in rapid, clipped words. "You're a public speaker. You give talks in the auditorium downstairs. Three weeks ago, you spoke about mending relationships."
His tone didn't register, or perhaps it did and she refused to acknowledge it. In either case, she allowed herself a glimmer of joy as she imagined Ace and Nocturne leaving her seminar hoof in hoof. "Oh! Did it help?"
Maintaining eye contact, Ace reached over to his left, and knocked away the third cornerstone.
It took a moment to sink in, but when it did, Loud Mouth felt herself collapse. Her muscles went slack, and her head hung low.
"Heh-heh," Ace chuckled bitterly. "See? Cathartic."
The office was quiet, save for the buzz of the desk lamp and Loud Mouth's increasingly heavy breathing.
She tried to recall some piece of advice that could save the day, but her thoughts kept looping over and over. This was foolish. I'm a failure, and I've never really helped anypony. I just take up space and make things worse. I'm a failure.
Loud Mouth tried to speak, but only a squeak came out.
Ace mumbled something.
Loud Mouth managed to look up for a moment to see Ace blushing, his head turned away. "I said I apologize. That was unnecessarily cruel."
There was a long, uncomfortable beat, one that Loud Mouth felt she had to break. "It's all right," she whispered. I deserved it.
She waited. She wanted him to say that it was okay, that he was wrong and that she'd really been able to help him. She held her breath.
Ace didn't respond.
Loud Mouth, with creased brows and desperation in her voice, leaned forward. "But… it was at least a little helpful, right?"
Ace flicked his tail. "I'm sorry, but no."
"N-not even a little?"
Ace chewed on his tongue for a moment. "I know you mean well, and I can't imagine your work is easy, but we spent a lot of bits to hear rehashed platitudes and clichés. It was clear to me, at least, that your heart wasn't in it, like you were just parroting advice you'd rehearsed a thousand times."
Loud Mouth tried to will herself out of existence. She went rapidly over her most recent speeches: the relationship seminar, the time management course, and even this very conversation. Her eyes stung. "I'm… I'm sorry."
Ace continued, a slight edge to his voice. "I told Nocturne I didn't think it had been worth it, and she got angry. She thought I didn't care enough about our relationship to at least try to fix it, but everything you told us was, frankly, tired advice."
In any relationship, both parties need to talk and listen. Her thoughts were automatic, but she felt grateful that she couldn't bring herself to vocalize them. Grateful, and sad.
Ace snorted, looking like a guard on his third consecutive shift. "Look, you've clearly had a bad day as well, and I'm sorry, but I'm no therapist." He roughly ran a hoof through his mane. "Trust me, there are ti–"
As he set his hoof down, he knocked the table. The house wobbled for a moment, then clattered down into a multicolored pile with very little ceremony.
A moment later, Ace's forehead met the tabletop with a thud, and after a groan, he mumbled into his chest, "Yeah, it's always the little things."
With Ace's eyes off of her, Loud Mouth felt safe enough to wipe a tear from her eye. "I'm… I'm sorry that my seminar was no good."
Ace brought his head away from his chest and rested his chin on the table. He looked at the pile of blocks, but his eyes didn't focus. They still looked cold and lifeless.
"I-I wish there were something I could do to help, but I…"
Ace stared at her with his dead eyes. He grumbled, "I said I'm not your therapist."
Loud Mouth felt cold. "No," she said mechanically. "No, I suppose not. I'm…" She stood up and looked around, quickly mumbling, "I'm sorry for wasting your time."
Ace sighed. "It's alright. Sorry for being such an ass. It's… been a bad day."
Loud Mouth took one last look at the blueprints scattered around her. She felt empty. This was the time that the advice she'd memorized was supposed to matter most, but try as she might, she couldn't recall anything. What do you say when your words don't mean anything?
She settled on, "I hope things get better." It would have to do.
"Thank you."
As she turned to leave, her eyes fell on a blueprint on the floor. Much like the block house, it was elegantly designed and looked very solid.
She didn't know why – maybe she didn't care, maybe she still wanted to make it right, or maybe she was just being honest – but the words fell out of her mouth. "I'm sure you don't want to hear anything else from me – heck, I wouldn't – but for what it's worth, I think you're a great architect."
With his chin still on the table, Ace raised an eyebrow.
"It's sad to see one of your structures collapse, yes, but… well, you can always rebuild it."
Ace sat up, though his head still hung low. "Maybe, but… It wouldn't be the same."
Loud Mouth blinked a few times, then shrugged. "No, no it wouldn't, but maybe you can make it better this time." She looked over to a picture on his desk: Ace in a tuxedo, smiling next to a purple unicorn mare in a lovely black dress. "Maybe you can make it perfect."
Ace's eyes opened a little wider, and just for a moment, she saw a small glimmer within.
It was enough. Loud Mouth, stepping over the papers on the floor, said a quiet, "Good night, Ace, and good luck."
Loud Mouth walked out of the cubicle. She made her way to the reception area, and she yawned. No, she didn't know if she'd sleep that night or be able to tell Whammy Bar the truth in the morning, but for a moment, she didn't feel quite as bad.
As she lifted a hoof to the exit, she paused. A small, tired smile spread across her face as she heard the faraway sound of wooden building blocks gently knocking together.
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Ace Artisan's Author
... I had to really think about this before I give my vote.
Loud Mouth's entry was funny, hilariously done, had some good interaction between OCs and some good buildup. I laughed, I chuckled, I found it very enjoyable and well-executed, and the setup was also done well.
I have to give my vote to Ace Artisan's Author though. Just his use of Loud Mouth and Ace together in this melancholy situation where all they are doing are talking is too damn good. I mean nothing really happened, but I hung on every word and description. Through the One-shot he also explored facets of Ace's and Loud Mouth's personalities very well, and hence the reason why I give Ace's author my vote.
Can't say I'm a fan of the trend of Loud Mouth being a punching bag. The whole point is that she has this secret insecurity--not that she's some delicate ego bubble waiting to be popped!
Ace Artisan's author
This story was everything that a Slamjam entry should be.
It showed us how Loud Mouth's insecurity affects her on a personal and emotional level. It made me really care about Ace Artisan's problems. It didn't lean on gimmicks or use action as entertainment value; it did its job just with emotion and meaning. It doesn't just mention previous rounds, it makes good use of both characters' previous rounds!
I... I just realized that I read through this story, this seamless continuation of Loud Mouth's last round, and didn't think about the fact that it's a totally new author picking up from Loud Mouth's last story and nailing her in pitch-perfect form.
This competition is heating up. Wow.
Whew, jesus. I don't know if I can decide this right now. Both stories are really fucking good. I'm going to have to come back to this later.
Loud Mouth's author
I liked both of these--however, Loud's wins out for a few reasons. I liked that Loud didn't just go for a "two ponies talk about their problems" story, and actually had the characters doing something together. I also liked that she wrote them as having a previous relationship; Mango Leaf did something similar with Candy Cane in the first round, iirc, and I loved it. In general, the comedic tone of Loud's just resonated more with me than the somber one of Ace's. On the other hand, there were some awkward sentences, and at times I found myself slightly confused as to where they were standing, etc..
Ace's had a lot to love, though. While the tone didn't quite click with me, I thought the setting was created very well. The author gave a good image of that bleak office space. However, at times the conversation between them did just feel like reciting facts from the Encyclodpedia.
Also, both of these guys took things that were established in previous rounds, rather than the Encyclopedia, and used it to set up the stories. I'm not sure how I feel about that, especially with Ace taking some of his conflict (Loud feeling guilty about the stealing) from the other author's previous round.
Ace Artisan's Author
I… huh. I'm not really sure how to put this decision into words, I'm afraid. I'll give it my best.
Loud Mouth's author did a really good job of making me believe their story. The way that Loud Mouth and Ace Artisan met up was great, and I could definitely feel their past together. I feel like the plot was a little mundane, but that's pretty common among stories in the Slamjam, so it's hard to fault that. The characters all felt themselves—I feel like you especially nailed Nocturne and Ace's relationship—with the single, glaring exception of Loud Mouth herself. I really didn't get the right vibe from her that I expected from her character sheet. She didn't seem like a motivational speaker at all, and the details put in to remind us that she is felt a little out of place, shoehorned in. I'll grant you that it would be a hard task to really nail the balance of her personality in such an emotionally strenuous situation, but this far into the game, you have to be able to pull off the hard stuff. I appreciate the story that you went for, but I think you missed the mark every so slightly.
Ace's author, on the other hand… damn. That interpretation of Loud Mouth was pitch perfect—I had to check a few times to make sure it wasn't actually Loud Mouth's author. There was a time about halfway through that I actually felt you were having the opposite problem of Loud Mouth's author: that you were focusing too much on the motivational speaker angle and forgetting her underlying personality. But the internal monologue and the second half of the story abated that fear quite expertly.
And that's saying nothing of Ace's characterization and the plot itself. I love how seamlessly this flows from the previous rounds while still standing as its own story. We've seen a lot of authors in this contest try to work their previous stories into their current one, but I think this is the prime example of how to do it. And if the situation isn't right to be able to do it this well, then don't try to do it. That's a big part of why I'm giving Ace's author my vote—they recognized the opportunity and took a risk to make it work. And it paid off.
Great job to both authors. You both put forth entertaining stories, but for a bit more ingenuity, Ace's author wins out.
Ace Artisan's Author
A tough choice - both authors did very well. However, I felt that the second story had a deeper exploration of the characters while the first one focused a little too much on their suddenly-existent past and on Nocturne rather than their personalities.
Loud Mouth's author
Well, I started this last night. I read Loud's story first, then just today Ace's. I enjoyed Loud's better, to be absolutely honest. There wasn't anything that screamed 'wrong' at me in Ace's, but I found the 'sit and talk' approach something that just seems to happen so often in this contest that it felt like it lacked some originality. I get Ace's character in his own story, I identified with him a little (A lot) but the way that they ended up talking together felt a bit forced in origin.
Loud's story felt much more dynamic, which is a big thing for me. The dialogue between Nocturnal and Ace helped pave the way for Loud Mouth to make an impact and the story itself has a resolution of sorts, rather than leaving us hanging.
Ace Artisan's author
My thoughts pretty much match of 6163627 above. It's kind of strange that Ace Artisan's author did such a great job of writing a story that seamlessly continues from Loud Mouth's author's own entry in round two. Both authors produced great stories, but Ace Artisan's author wrote a story where very little outwardly happened, yet the lives of both characters were profoundly affected by their encounter.
Ace Artisan's Author
This took me a long time to settle on, but I'm not budging now that I'm here. Loud Mouth's had me sold until the end of Ace's.
Loud Mouth being Ace's ex is my favorite setup so far this round, Wispy and Lilligold included. Ace came across very well and Nocturne was great as the frustrated live-in girlfriend. There were only two things I found wrong with Loud's entry, and they were that Loud's personal conflict about her lack of confidence didn't come up at all, and in fact that her sudden confidence when giving Nocturne advice and not really wanting to go along with Whammy Bar's script went kind of in the face of that.
But still, the conflict that was given to her as Ace's scorned ex was pretty good, and I would've happily voted for it if Ace's entry wasn't simply better.
I was a little iffy at first about Ace's portrayal as depressed and dirty, as well as the heavy reliance on previous rounds, but actually both worked out to help the story rather than hurt it. If all of Loud's internal conflict had been about her ineffectiveness, I probably wouldn't be happy. Her worrying about Foxglove turned out to be a great way to fill out her anxiety to make it believable.
I absolutely loved how Loud's thoughts automatically went to the advice from her seminars, and even more when that memorization was called out by Ace. He was done well, as well. I think bringing up his race thing would've been a mistake for this story and I can definitely forgive putting the story first, but for the purposes of this contest I wish there had been a way to make it work.
Ace Artisan's Author
Ace's author's conversation game is strong, holy hell. Unless I'm forgetting something incredible, this is the best talk-fic I think I've read in this competition. The conversation was so frightfully natural and the characters so explicitly but not bluntly multi-layered that I feel like I'm remembering what the fresh air of great dialogue is after having lived a month in the banality caves.
I think the only complaint that I have about Ace's author's entry, apart from a negligible mechanical issue or two, is the nature of its callbacks to previous entries. It based large swaths of its plot on them, but I feel like the in-story backing was middling in execution. The big example of where it bothered me was the reference to Loam: in a real conversation between two strangers, it would have been a touch too detailed, with Loam's name being mentioned specifically and all. It wasn't necessary for the references, either, because anyone who read that entry would have picked it up from the other details anyway. The usage of the Foxglove entry's plot also niggled at me, at least at the very beginning—in the current form, it wouldn't function as an independent piece. And yes, I'm aware that that's pretty much par for the course in the contest right now, but the more your plot is based on a previous entry, the more important I personally feel it is to do your own establishing. Which is a big reason why Tidy Till's entry last round bothered the everliving hell out of me, even though I was fine with most of that (and to a slightly lesser extent, this) round's other references.
As far as Loud's author's entry goes, my biggest issue was probably the tone—I felt it went a bit far towards comedic, when the author had shown a pretty strong ability with more realistic stuff. Which isn't to say that I was outright bothered that it was a comedy (things like Loud Mouth's uncertainty with regards to her "anger" were very endearing and had me chuckling), but more that it sometimes overstepped into some unwarrantedly random humor (that cookie jar line, for example). The more things like that happened, the less in tune I felt with the characters' emotions, and the less concerned I wound up being with the conflict. The comedy just wasn't strong enough to make up for that, at least in my case.
Apart from that, I wasn't much off-put by anything in Loud's author's entry. The focus on Nocturne was a bit much but not egregious. The dialogue sometimes felt a bit stilted if only because of the tone. Overall, though, both entries were solid, just one was a lot more artfully handled.
Traditional "correct Aurora" edit: 6165636
It was brought up, subtly and wonderfully. This bit:
Loud Mouth's Author
Hot damn. This is one of those that, I admit, I cannot call based on the more coldly rational aspects of the craft. Both entries were very solidly-written, mechanically sound, and engaging. Both effectively used bits from the previous rounds in addition to their respective character profiles. Both told their stories exceedingly well.
In the final tally, though, I simply found the former story more enjoyable, and that's going to be the feather on these even scales. Perhaps it's the more lighthearted tone to it, or perhaps it's the fact that its meeting between the two characters seems a little less contrived, or maybe I just don't buy into melodrama all that much. Whatever it is, I was more entertained by the former story, and because of that, I give it my vote.
Loud Mouth's author
Both stories are good, and what makes it difficult to compare the two is that the two stories have very different goals. Loud Mouth's story was a well executed comedy that showcased some great chemistry between Ace and Nocture, and the image of Loud Mouth flipping through cue cards during her confrontation with Ace was hilarious. Ace, in contrast, went with a much darker story that addresses some of the same issues as the previous story (Ace's relationships and Loud Mouth's confidence issues) in a serious, rather than comedic manner. The image, both literal and metaphorical, of Ace playing jenga with the foundation of his relationship was fantastic. Setting the story directly after Loud Mouth's last story, which a nice callback, did not really add much to the story as it didn't seem to have much significance to the plot of this story. However, I do like how how Ace's three entries form a coherent story line detailing the reasons for his slowly deteriorating relationship with Nocturne. The story with Loam, in particular, while required to understand this story, provides a nice background against which to examine Ace's character.
I've gone back and forth on which story to vote, and ultimately, I'm going with Loud Mouth. Although Ace's story addresses some of the same issues, Loud Mouth's story puts the characters' main flaws at the center of the conflict and its resolution. The story is about Loud Mouth overcoming her insecurities when it comes to her past relationship, and the resolution is based on the author drawing a parallel between Loud Mouth's confidence issues and Ace's own insecurities about his race.
Ace Artisan's Author
I thoroughly enjoyed both of these stories and came mere inches away from abstaining.
ACE ARTISAN’S AUTHOR
The Lady and the Architect
Liked: The really unique usage of the characters. No one’s been anyone’s ex so far, that I recall. :D
Disliked: POV is really janky.
Foundations
Liked: Hot damn, this is actually the best Loud Mouth story ever. Using her this way is perfect!
Disliked: Can’t really think of anything! I mean, I was rather heartbroken that Loud Mouth turned out to have made things worse, but that’s not a story flaw in the least.
Ace Artisan's Author
Loud Mouth's Author
Another history fic . . . it's kind of a theme! I wonder if there's some sort of crowd psychology going on here?
I just had a hard time getting into it, especially recalling the wonderfully emotional piece that was your last entry. Not that there weren't emotions going on here, too . . . but maybe it was too short to really get the full effect, y'know? I got the sense that there was a lot of off-screen baggage, but I didn't have the luxury of taking that trip with the characters; I just learned about it after the fact.
That having been said, I liked the bit with the index cards. Absolutely adorkable.
Ace Artisan's Author
Good callbacks to previous entries. On the down side--and you couldn't have known--another shipwreck fic? Some kind of herd mentality or else there's an unspoken contest guideline I'm unaware of
That little gripe aside, the characters felt more authentic, and you made the very good choice here to draw strongly on Loud Mouth's last entry. While that's the kind of thing which is hit or miss, for me it worked very well.