Firefly vs. Mild Manners
The Artifact - by Firefly's Author
Whirligig was the very emponiment of her name: a blue-coated pegasus filly with a red-and-white striped mane, unwilling – perhaps unable – to be still. She was making it very hard for Firefly to teach her anything. His ears and limbs hung limply as he hovered in the sky, waiting to get a word in between Whirligig's aerobatics. Why me?! He sighed.
He’d asked Rainbow Dash that very question when informed that she had selected him to tutor the newest addition to Ponyville’s weather brigade. He'd flicked an ear. “You do recall complaining about how lame my flight skills are, don't you?”
“Aw, don’t be that way, Fly!” she'd replied. The dreaded nickname made him wince.
She draped a foreleg over his slender orange withers. “Besides, the kid’s already a topnotch flyer.” She gave him her best Trust me, I know what I’m doing look. “No, what she needs is to learn the local topology, its affect on weather handling, the prevailing winds and precipitation corridors, danger areas, and hazardous wildlife. You know, that kind of stuff. In that department, you’re second only to yours truly!”
He’d been too stunned at the offhoof compliment to do anything other than stutter incoherently.
And so here I am, trying to pin down the shortest attention span in Equestria! He sighed again as Whirligig maneuvered three clouds into a huge fluffy sandwich.
At the end of his patience, Firefly rubbed the pendant on his chest. The engraved unicorn head glowed golden. So did Whirligig, all six limbs flailing as she was suddenly immobilized mid-flight, hanging upside down.
Firefly approached with a few gentle flaps.
“Are you going to stay still for a minute, or do I have to keep the brakes on?”
Whirligig glared at him. “How did you do that?! You’re not a unicorn!”
“Oh, hey, you are paying attention,” he deadpanned. He pushed a cloud under the filly, landed on it, and released the spell. She fell gracefully next to him and eyed his neck-piece suspiciously.
“That thing glowed, and then I was like, furniture or something!” She stared in awe at the amulet. “Say! You’re the flying magician! The others told me about you!”
“Is that all they said?”
She laughed. “They said a bunch of other things! But I only remember the magic part.” She chewed her lip. “Oh, and that it was eally naïve for your parents to name you Firefly.”
He rolled his eyes. “Well maybe they had good reason!”
She bent close to the pendant. “So this thing lets you do magic. Where’d you get it?” She sat on her haunches, looking up expectantly.
Omigosh! She’s sitting still! Careful to avoid any sudden motions, he sat down. “A friend at Canterlot University made it for me.” He smiled as he recalled meeting the quiet, brilliant unicorn in the tweed jacket.
Firefly stood in the Canterlot University library, in a section strictly reserved for ponies authorized to study advanced thaumaturgy. He had two documents in-hoof, both from Princess Twilight: a royal decree granting him access to the section, and a map showing where to find certain books. In his saddlebag were additional documents she had given him: a list of Canterlot attractions; guided tour brochures; a request for two dozen donuts from a place called Pony Joe’s; and a detailed itinerary that let him do all of the above with entire minutes to spare before boarding the last train back to Ponyville.
Following the map, he discovering an imposing shelf of dusty tomes. A cream-coated unicorn stallion approached, wearing a tie and tweed jacket. They traded glances uncertainly. In his experience, many unicorns found it odd for a pegasus to be so interested in magic. He nodded and turned his attention back to the books.
He reached out to grab the one the princess had recommended: Dynamics and Applications of Mana Storage Systems. Pulling it from the shelf, he pivoted and went to find a reading table. Hooves clip-clopped behind him as the unicorn followed close behind.
Uh, oh! Bogie on my six!
“I say, sir!” called the unicorn.
Firefly stopped short and turned slowly. Unexpectedly, the stallion was smiling.
“My own specialty is power dynamics for enchantments and spell amplification,” he said enthusiastically. “Perhaps I could be of assistance.”
A volunteer! Creepy, but still, a volunteer! He nodded. “Perhaps you could at that, mister...” He offered a hoof in greeting.
“Oh! Forgive my impropriety! I so rarely find anypony else interested in mana storage that I forgot to introduce myself! My name is Mild Manners, but do call me Manny. I’m a graduate student at the university. It is indeed a pleasure to meet you!” Blushing, he grasped Firefly’s hoof with his own.
“Name’s Firefly. I’m part of Ponyville's weather brigade. I'm doing personal research on autonomous magical devices.” He glanced down at the book. “Er, Princess Twilight Sparkle recommended I read this.”
The unicorn did a double-take. “I suspect there’s a story behind all this!” He gestured to some doors lining the wall. “Shall we take one of the study rooms?”
During the next two hours Mild Manners taught Firefly more about mana storage than he had learned in months of self-study. It certainly helped having somepony to answer questions. Finally out of things to say, the scholar sat down primly opposite the pegasus.
Firefly grinned. “You know, Manny, this reminds me of when I was in college.”
The unicorn’s eyebrows rose. “You’re the same age as I am, and your math skills are way above those of most ponies, certainly beyond what one would expect is needed for weather duty. Why didn’t you continue your studies?”
Firefly’s ears drooped. “I had... family issues, so I left Cloudsdale and college.”
Manny’s own ears dipped in sympathy. “I understand about family problems. I’m the third – and quite superfluous – foal of a rather well connected family.” His hoof swept the library. “This is my refuge, and academia my destiny. Here perhaps, I can do something worthwhile to improve the lot of my fellow ponies.” He blushed and laughed as if caught boasting.
“Your ambition does you credit, Manny.” Making a sudden decision, he flipped open his saddlebag. “I have something I want to show you.” He pulled out a notebook. “I have a few ideas on making a more general purpose magical enablement device.”
Mild Manners paged through the notebook. His eyes grew bigger and his heart beat faster with every page. “A command interpretation matrix! With a self-reconfiguring thaumatic sequencer! A massive mana store! This...” words failed him.
“I call it the Thaumatical Engine,” said Firefly. “If we can build it...” he started.
“... anypony could cast spells...” continued Manny.
“... as if they were unicorns!” finished Firefly.
The unicorn stared down at the final diagram in the notebook. Awe and desire charged his academic soul.
“Count me in!”
Firefly was describing the local topology as Whirligig sat in attention, when a shadow passed over them. With the speed of reflex he bucked the filly off the cloud, propulsing himself in the opposite direction.
“Hey! Whadidja do that for?” she spat, ears back and head low as she hovered a short distance away.
“Manticore!” shouted Firefly. “Sometimes they leave the Everfree Forest to hunt, and they'll happily munch on a lone pony. Keep your eyes peeled!”
“A manticore?” The filly's muzzle split into a grin. “I've seen them at the zoo, but I'd love to see one up close!”
“Trust me, you don't want to!” replied Firefly. “The protocol is to stick with your wingpony, back-to-back. They won't attack groups.” He turned and scanned the many clouds dotting the skies. Too many places for a predator to hide! By the time he turned his head back for a glance, Whirligig was gone.
Mild Manners shook with excitement. He spread the blueprint onto the table in his trendy, yet modestly furnished, flat as Firefly looked over his shoulder. “The design is brilliant! Where did you get the idea to use the pattern interpreter loop from a weaving spell as a way to sequence magical commands? And using binary logic for decision making?”
“Oh, the weaving spell was from a seminar Princess Twilight gave on applied enchantments in industry. The logic gates came from looking at how the glow-bulb switches in my apartment work.” Firefly grinned. “None of this is new, I just put together a bunch of things that aren’t usually combined into a single spell matrix.”
The unicorn looked the pegasus in the eye. “You know, a classically trained mage would have never thought of doing things this way. Most unicorns don't see beyond the more mundane applications of magic.”
Firefly nodded. “Maybe that’s why Princess Twilight is the only pony in Ponyville who shows any enthusiasm for discussing my ideas.”
Manny raised an eyebrow. “Were it otherwise, you might never have come to the university library, and I wouldn’t have been able to propose these few modest improvements to your design!”
“Improvements!?” Firefly bent over the document. “What's that small tubular shape attached to the mana core?”
“That's a Bevelmeiter tube. It will allow the core to tap directly into any pony’s ley lines!”
Firefly’s jaw dropped. “You mean, with this tube I could power spells...”
“... using your own pegasus mana field, yes! Goodbye bulky mana stores!” the unicorn smiled.
Firefly panicked. There was a manticore about and Whirligig was missing. He flew straight up to gain altitude and perspective. Unfortunately, the many clouds in the area obscured his line of sight in almost every direction.
Ten minutes of futile scanning later, he had calmed sufficiently for his brain to re-engage. If she had fallen you would have seen it, he told himself. And Dash did say she was an ace flyer, so she probably would be safe if she kept her distance.
His pulse began to accelerate again. But she said she wanted to see a manticore up close!
Absentmindedly, his hoof brushed his pendant. That's it! He looked down at the amulet. Locator spell! Focus on what you want to find. Whirligig and the manticore. He closed his eyes and concentrated as he rubbed the pendant. When he opened his eyes three bright sparks flashed in the distance below him. One was smaller and two much larger. There's more than one manticore! His pulse raced as he dropped into a power dive.
Firefly focused his thoughts, and mentally reached for the Bevelmeiter tube. Inside the pendant that housed it, he felt the device engage his ley lines. There was a buzzing in his bones that extended into his wings and all the way to the tips of his feathers. He touched the apparatus to activate it and visualized the spell.
Mild Manners had made major improvements to the design, now small enough to fit into a large amulet. He had been working furiously day and night for much of the past week to complete it. His apartment was a mess, and his normally impeccable starched collar was stained and bent out of shape. He grinned as the amulet came to life on Firefly’s chest.
It flashed golden. A feather Firefly had plucked from his own wing levitated into the air in front of him and hung suspended in a golden halo of magic.
“Hurrah! It works! You did it!” Manny pounded Firefly on the back.
The pegasus stopped focusing on the spell, feeling it dissipate as the connection to his mana field cut. The feather wafted down to the tabletop. He smiled. “Yeah. It does.” He wiped a fetlock across his eyes, his vision blurred. “We did it,” he added with a sniff.
Manny looked at him. “You know this could change everything.”
Firefly nodded, suddenly feeling exhausted. “Uh-hunh.” He’d barely whispered the words when the world started to spin and he blacked out.
Whirligig spun incredibly intricate patterns, always just out of reach of the two manticores. Firefly might even have called it beautiful, if his stomach hadn't been trying to escape his body via his throat.
He only noticed how tightly packed the clouds had become when he was in the thick of them. You have to separate the manticores before they manage to corner her.
“Over here!” he shouted, waved his forehooves, and flew in loops. The predators ignored him.
Then the inevitable happened. One of the beasts clipped Whirligig with a massive wing. The filly dropped onto a cloud in a tiny heap. One manticore descended to deliver the coup-de-grace. The other turned around to face Firefly.
He fought the overpowering urge to flee. You've no alternatives, and no more time!
He focused his thoughts, and rubbed the amulet. It glowed golden.
The wings of the manticore facing him were crushed flat against its sides. It began to plummet. Firefly watched it until it fell out of sight, breathing hard. The edges of his sight had started showing veins of black. He relaxed his magical focus, shook his head, and flew towards the filly and the remaining beast.
Mild Manners had placed Firefly in his own bed when he had fainted. For the umpteenth time, he mentally went over what could have gone wrong. It's all my fault! His thoughts looped and his gut clenched tight. A sound drew his attention.
“I have... the most horrible migraine,” whispered Firefly. His eyes opened a sliver. “Where am I?”
“My bedroom. You passed out.” There was a knock at the door. Manny felt his gut slightly unclench. There was only one pony expected. “Please come in, Your Majesty.”
Princess Twilight entered, concern showing on her face. “I left Ponyville as soon as your messenger arrived. It's good to see you awake, Firefly.”
“Thank You, Your Majesty.” When he tried to rise to bow she put a hoof on his chest. “You'd better just stay in bed. Consider that a Royal Decree!”
Firefly lay back down. “So. Does anypony have an idea what happened to me?”
The princess nodded. “I've had the flight here to think about it, and I have a theory. It has to do with brain plasticity and how unicorn foals grow into their magic abilities. It usually takes them many years to master the use of their mana fields. The Bevelmeiter tube connects your pegasus mana field directly to a part of your brain never before exposed to such power. It's likely your brain will develop the neural pathways to control this, but just like with a unicorn foal, it might take a while, years even. Would you allow me to scan you?”
“Certainly!” Firefly agreed.
She closed her eyes and her horn field reached out to encompass Firefly's head, then his entire body. It lasted just a moment. Then the princess opened her eyes and smiled.
“It appears there’s no permanent damage.” Her expression grew serious. “However, there are signs of weakness in certain ley lines, as swell as slight swelling in your brain's corpus arcanum. I suggest you lay off the amulet for a few days, then start small, only progressively increasing the complexity and energy requirements of your spells, so your brain can adjust naturally.”
Mild Manners felt a major weight depart his withers. Still, the dread he'd felt in the last few hours lingered. “What would happen to him if he overdid it, Your Majesty?”
Princess Twilight frowned. “He could irreparably disrupt his ley lines, and maybe damage his corpus arcanum. If that happened he could be rendered totally magicless. That includes permanently losing his pegasus abilities!”
Mild Manners locked gazes with his friend lying on the bed. “From now on, you only use the amulet under supervision, just in case. Agreed?”
Firefly nodded hesitantly. “Okay, for now.”
The unicorn smiled, but the knot in his belly wasn't entirely gone. He'd have to keep a close eye on his friend.
The compression spell didn't work well on the cloud's surface. The manticore was way too physically powerful when he had a surface against which to brace his legs. Inexorably, he drew closer to Whirligig. Firefly staggered, trying to keep the spell going. He made it past the monster and slumped down next to the filly. Unconscious, she bled heavily from a slash across her side and flank. A wing hung at an awkward angle.
There was a sour taste in his mouth as Firefly realized he wouldn't be able to carry her and fight off the manticore at the same time. The beast huffed as it laboriously approached.
Desperate, he looked around to see if anypony had noticed their predicament. He felt a stab of hope as a winged shape banked in from behind a nearby cloud. His heart dropped. Too big! The other manticore is back!
The realization hit. We're not both coming out of this alive. He looked down at the young mare. My responsibility.
He dropped the magic field constraining the first manticore, and placed a hoof on Whirligig's back. This will kill me, he had time to think, before brushing the amulet on his chest with his other hoof and focusing his thoughts on the spell.
Warily, the manticores approached.
Firefly pushed.
The filly disappeared beneath his hoof. He had time to smile before the universe spun and he dropped into dark oblivion.
Flowers... disinfectant...
Firefly’s awareness slowly expanded, one sense at a time. His entire body felt numb. A loud buzzing filled his ears. As it slowly faded, thoughts came in to fill the void.
The... hospital? How did I get...
Memories returned. Mantincores! There was a fight! And a last frantic effort to save...
The filly!
The image of Whirligig bleeding out on that cloud pushed all other thoughts away. Tears pooled then leaked from his eyes, laying damp tracks down the sides of his head. He fought to open his eyes. Finally, he succeeded.
Mild Manners stared down at him, haggard and concerned.
“Firefly? Firefly! Can you hear me!?”
Firefly’s nod sent waves of pain through his head. “The filly,” he croaked.
Manny swallowed. “It’s been three days, Firefly. The doctors are still working on her. She’ll live, but she was grievously hurt. There were internal injuries, and she might not fly again.” He sighed. “But, if you hadn’t teleported her straight to the hospital she’d be filling a grave.”
More tears traced their slow way down his cheeks.
A vision of teeth and claws flashed through his mind. “How am I still alive?” he whispered. “I thought I was manticore lunch for sure.”
The unicorn cracked a crooked smile. “Rainbow Dash caught you plummeting to earth. To hear her account, you were out like a light and weighed half a ton!”
“I... don’t understand. I passed out practically in their clutches.”
“I can explain that part,” said a familiar voice. Princess Twilight walked into the room looking somber. “I’m so glad to see you’re finally awake, Firefly!” She tried her best to look fierce. “If anypony in this room tries to bow they'll get latrine duty at the castle for a month!”
The corners of Firefly’s lips turned up ever so slightly.
“When you teleported Whirligig you burnt out the amulet and completely drained your mana field from the bottom of your hooves to the tips of your wings. You had nothing left.”
“I’m not following...?”
“What happens when a non-pegasus pony tries to stand on a cloud?”
“He sinks right through it.” Manny answered for him.
“That’s why Rainbow Dash found you dropping like a stone underneath the clouds,” added the princess. “It was as if you weren’t a pegasus anymore. Thank goodness she was looking for you!”
Not a pegasus anymore? A cold feeling spreading through Firefly's chest.
“Yeah. I owe her big time.” Not a pegasus...
“Firefly,” said Princess Twilight gravely, “you can never use a Bevelmeiter device again. Doing so will likely result in irreversible brain damage.”
Her expression softened. “But I can see that your ley lines are already healing. You should soon regain your pegasus abilities.”
The cold knot in his chest melted. I can still fly! He was amazed to realize how important that was. “Thank you, Your Majesty.”
The princess nodded to them both. “I have duties to attend to. I’ll check with you later.” With that, she turned and left the room.
“I'm sorry to have put you through all of that,” Firefly said to Manny. “I’ve been selfish.”
“No you haven’t. Firefly, we did this together! And you have been a good friend. Nothing changes that.”
Firefly smiled sadly. “We did have fun building it.” He sighed. “Too bad it's over.”
The unicorn arched an eyebrow. “What do you mean, over?” His horn glowed and a large square device with straps dangling from its corners floated out of a saddlebag propped against the wall. “Meet the Mild-Fire Industries Personal Caster. This thing is going to revolutionize magic for all ponies.” He grinned. “It doesn't use Bevelmeiter tubes, and it could use an experienced beta-tester.”
Firefly’s vision blurred. It took him a moment to compose himself. Finally, his face lit up and he grinned ear-to-ear.
“Count me in!”
The Forest Festival - by Mild Manners' Author
The first words out of my mother’s mouth that day were, “Make sure you’re on your best behaviour, Mild.”
We were on the train when she said it, about halfway to Ponyville. The last hour or so had been spent in near-total silence, save for the sounds of my father smoking as he stared out the window at the passing countryside.
I looked up from my textbook, stared at my mother, and went, “I’m sorry?”
“This festival is really very important to us, darling,” Mother said. She sniffed once, frowned, and reached for a pre-emptive handkerchief. “Especially to your father. We’d rather appreciate it if you didn’t… didn’t..” She sneezed, rather elegantly, into her handkerchief. “Oh, confound this cold.”
It wasn’t a cold, I wanted to remind her. It was hay fever. She’s the only earth pony I’ve ever met who has hay fever. Needless to say, it wasn’t something she liked to talk about.
So I didn’t mention it. “I’m twenty years old, Mother.”
She gave me a look. “And?”
I sighed internally. “Nothing. I’ll be on my best behaviour, Mother.”
“Good.” She looked at me a tad more warmly this time, and I even thought she was going to ruffle my hair or pinch my cheeks or something, but she just walked over to my Father and began to speak with him, just quietly enough that I couldn’t hear the words.
I glared down at my book, closed the cover, and dropped it onto the floor next to my bed. I stretched out on the mattress and felt like punching something. Doing so would probably end up costing my parents a lot of money – we were in a private carriage, reserved for the occasional noble customer, and it was far from cheap. It was exactly like my parents’ home, which probably explains why they insisted on hiring it despite it being kind of against the spirit of the whole “being in touch with our humble roots” ordeal.
When I was much younger, on my first trip down to Ponyville for the Forest Festival, I’d tried to complain to my father that I didn’t want to go. That I’d rather stay in Canterlot and play with all my friends there.
Father just said, “Sometimes family is more important than friends.” I don’t think I ever really understood what he had meant by that. My friends were, well, friendly. My family was just… there. I told him that, if family was so important, he’d let me stay in Canterlot. I don’t really remember what happened then. Perhaps he just ignored me. Moving out as soon as I was able was one of the most refreshing moments of my life, in any case.
Whatever. I asked my parents how long it would take until we were there.
“An hour,” Father intoned, before plugging his pipe back between his teeth. Mother was humming a little song to herself and rubbing her husband’s withers. Lost in their own little world.
I was wondering if I should attempt a conversation, but I felt, rather bizarrely, as if that would be intruding on something. So I turned over, away from the light, and tried to sleep.
The Forest Festival is an earth pony tradition which nopony knows who, or what, actually started, but has existed for as long as anypony can remember. Many scholars make the rather reasonable assumption that earth ponies brought it with them all the way back when they helped found Equestria.
It’s a very simple affair, which some ponies might say is quite befitting of an earth pony festival: singing, dancing, drinking, and more drinking, often outdoors and amongst Mother Nature, naturally.
Really, I had nothing wrong with the idea on paper. I mean, I enjoy a nice party as much as anypony else. But it’s different when you’re there in person, in a way I can’t really put my hoof on.
Anyway, we arrived into Ponyville station precisely one hour after I took my nap. My parents gathered their luggage and we stepped out onto the platform. It wasn’t long before somepony noticed us waiting.
That somepony happened to be wearing a crown. “Excuse me, sir,” Princess Twilight said as she approached us, with an infectious smile. “Are you Sir Temper, from Canterlot?”
Father nodded brusquely. “Yes, your Highness.” He gestured to us. “My family and I are here for the Forest Festival.”
Princess Twilight nodded excitedly. “Yes, of course.” She caught Mother staring at her with open surprise. “I’m, um, sorry if I surprised you, ma’am. Applejack asked me to help organise the Festival this year, as a favor. And how could I say no?” She laughed, kind of nervously. “So, shall I help you with your accommodation?”
Father tilted his head at her, not unkindly. Mother beat him to the punch: “Oh, no, your Highness! We wouldn’t like to take up your precious time, after all.”
Princess Twilight waved a hoof. “Oh, it’s no trouble at all. This is my job, after all. Please, just follow me.”
Mother hummed happily to herself. “Hmm, well, if you insist.”
“I think I’ll go explore Ponyville first, actually,” I said. I didn’t really want to listen to Mother trying to butter up the princess for the next half hour or so. “It was an honour to finally meet you in person, your Highness.” I bowed as best as I could without looking silly.
Mother looked almost disapproving, for a moment, before she gave my words some actual thought. “Good idea, Mild. You’re old enough to look after yourself, after all!” she said, smiling at Princess Twilight all the while.
I turned to leave, but Princess Twilight stopped me with an, “Oh, Mild Manners, is it? You go to Canterlot University, right?”
I looked back at her, again, trying not to look stupid. “Oh. Um, yes, I do. Why do you ask, your Highness?”
She smiled. She seemed almost conspiratorial. “The castle library is open to the public. My assistant Spike is looking after it while I’m organising the festival. I think you should go there if you’re looking for something to do.”
I smiled. My final exams were right around the corner. She knew. “Thank you, Princess,” I said, and I meant it.
About a year ago, after Tirek’s brief reign of terror, somepony mentioned Princess Twilight’s new palace to me, and I didn’t believe them – a crystal castle, just growing out of the ground? It sounded like some enormous exaggeration, or a joke, or any one of the endless stories that ponies like to produce about the youngest princess. But then I started seeing pictures of it in newspapers, and later in photographs taken by waves of tourists, all of which seemed to only confirm the rumours.
Today marked the first time I’d seen it with my own eyes. And it was… really impressive. If a bit garish. It was a sunny day, which only made the massive crystalline structure difficult to look at without hurting your eyes.
The doors were wide open in welcome, with a few ponies standing around outside, taking pictures or chatting with one another. Most of them were earth ponies – they were probably in the same boat as me, or at least a similar one. Canterlot didn’t really have much of an earth pony tradition, while Ponyville was literally founded on it.
A few of the ponies outside seemed to come to the same conclusion about me, and smiled my way as I walked past. It was strange. I mean, I’ve lived in Canterlot all my life, and that’s a unicorn city – being an earth pony had precisely no impact on my social life, but at the same time there was never this implied feeling of… solidarity, that only ever seemed to occur here. Maybe there wasn’t, and I’m just imagining things, but it certainly felt that way.
The castle library was, thankfully, a tiny bit more subdued in design than the exterior. Despite being relatively new, the room was clearly well lived-in – amidst near piles of books, you could see used coffee mugs, paintings of Ponyville hanging lovingly from the walls, and slight soot-stains in the empty hearth.
I wandered between the shelves for a long while, just kind of thinking. Honestly, my upcoming exams were far from my mind right then. The library was weirdly hypnotic – it was pleasantly quiet, with the distant sounds of rustling pages and the ticking of a grandfather clock. It didn’t have that same feeling of sheer age that many of the archives of Canterlot shared, but it was infinitely more homely.
After about… I don’t know, maybe half an hour or so of aimless wandering, I found a little seating area, tucked away into a corner of the library, with a table and some comfy looking chairs. That’s where I met this particular pegasus. It was really hard to ignore him – his orange coat and flaming mane were almost garish, or at least noticeable enough to snap me back to the real world. He was currently curled over his book. I couldn’t see the title.
I wondered if I should bother interrupting him. Absorbed would be a good way to describe him – his wings were flat against his side and his eyes were open wide, as if they were trying to optically consume as many words as possible. I think it was both that and his appearance that made him stand out to me, in the end.
“Hello?” I whispered. The pegasus’s ear twitched, and he peered up at me, blinking rapidly, as if he’d just woken up from a nap. “Hey. I was just wondering what you were reading.” I pointed with a hoof at his book, which, when I got closer, seemed to be pretty huge, like an old textbook.
He blinked at me. Then he smiled, albeit hesitantly. “Oh, it’s uh…” He stood the book up, so I could read the title: ‘A Brief History of Magic’. “Just some light reading.”
I raised an eyebrow at the thick tome. “Heh. Sure.” I slid into the seat next to him. “So, you’re interested in magic?” I propped up my head on my hoof, inviting him to speak. Small talk tended to be a good way to pass the time, and, if nothing else, there was some stuff I wanted to ask about.
He blinked at me again, his eyes flicking up to my forehead for a moment. “Oh, um, I guess I am.” He shook his head. “Sorry, I just need to ask… you’re from Canterlot, right?”
I blinked, looked down at myself. I was wearing a jacket, as most ponies I knew were wont to do, and a very fine one at that – cut to my size, in fact. “I am, actually. Why do you ask?”
“Miss Twilight mentioned to somepony that ponies would be coming from Canterlot today, for the Festival.” He shrugged, and looked somewhat bashful. “I, uh, actually thought you would be unicorns. But I guess that doesn’t really make sense, does it, considering you’re probably coming here for the Forest Festival….”
I frowned. “Are you… disappointed, that I’m not a unicorn?”
He looked surprised, and shook his head rapidly. “No, no, nothing like that! I just... Miss Twilight told me stuff about Canterlot before, and apparently it has a stronger unicorn heritage than Ponyville has an earth pony one. I wanted to ask a few questions, is all.” He rubbed the back of his head. “I’m a bit of a magic buff, see. I just think the whole thing is fascinating.”
“Well, I know plenty of unicorns, and I go to Canterlot University.” I felt my chest push itself out a bit. “My name is Mild Manners, pleasure to meet you. So, what did you want to ask?”
He tilted his head and looked uncertain. “I’m Firefly. Are you… sure? I mean, I wouldn’t want to take up your time, if you’re here for the Festival.” He scratched at his chin, then, and fired out another question before I could get another word in. “But why?”
“Why what?”
“Why come here?” He looked genuinely confused. “Ponyville’s an earth pony town, historically, but surely it’s a long way to come for what I’ve always thought was a national celebration.”
I blinked at that. “Well, Canterlot has plenty of earth ponies, but they’re not really… it’s just not a big thing back home.” Though it did make me wonder. I think Mother would much prefer it if there was something a bit closer to home, but then, Father likes to stick to traditions.
Firefly gave me a confused look. I snapped back with, “I could ask the same of you, you know. Pegasi stay in Cloudsdale, historically. Why are you living in an earth pony place?”
Firefly shrugged. “We all have places where we belong. I’m a pegasus living groundside. You’re an earth pony who lives among the Canterlot nobility. Maybe it isn’t the norm, but I don’t see why it shouldn’t be, y’know?”
I blinked. I hadn’t even intended to get into this discussion, but I found myself lost in thought. I didn’t like my family. Sure, I loved them – they were still family, after all – but there’s a reason why I was so reluctant to get on that train ride – Canterlot politics doesn’t infect ponies with the same simple optimism that seems to pour out of everypony in Ponyville. Quite the opposite. Even then, I couldn’t picture any of us living here, away from Canterlot and high society, even if we would be away from it all.
I didn’t really know what to think. I glanced at the clock, realised that the Festival was starting soon, and left Firefly to his books.
The Forest Festival went by in a strange blur. The Apple family, the hosts of the event, invited the numerous guests into a rolling meadow, which had fire pits, a stage, numerous stalls selling snacks and drinks, and an enormous tree standing tall atop a small hill, which had been decorated with ribbon and filigree.
There was a speech or two, I think. They were short, and they probably talked about earth ponies being great, and I’ve forgotten what words were said. I was mostly just watching my parents out of the corner of my eye. Mother, despite her sneezing, seemed at least somewhat content. Father, though, just stood silently, his expression unreadable.
I tried to distract myself, for a while. I joined in on the dancing, and drinking, and I played games, but in the end, I found myself wandering over to the fire pit where Father sat, drinking cider and speaking on occasion.
I sat next to him, holding my own mug. “Hey.”
He raised an eyebrow at me, sipped at his drink, and asked, “What is it?”
I just shrugged. “Nothing, really. Just saying hi.”
He nodded. We sat there, quietly, and we drank. Talking was an easy thing for me – I was good at. I think my father is as well – he’d have to be – but most of the time he just chooses to be silent.
The question burned inside my chest. “Father?” I said.
He looked at me.
“Why do we always come here?” I gestured to the party going on around us. The sun had just set, but the fires burned brightly enough to light up the night. “Every year?”
He tilted his head. “Did the idea that I might just enjoy this Festival not occur you?”
“Well, I mean.” I waved a hoof. “I get that, but if you enjoyed celebrations, you could just… make your own. Canterlotians held plenty of parties.” I should know. University life had its benefits.
He looked down at his cider. “This one is special,” was all he told me. I think I knew why.
I put a hoof on his shoulder. “Did you used to live here?”
He glanced at me. “Hmm?”
“You told me once that family was important. I didn’t get it at the time, but this is family to you isn’t it?” I sipped at my cider. “More than just us. More than just me.”
We lapsed into silence, for a time.
Then, “Mild.”
“Yes?”
“I know how you feel.”
“About what?”
“About us. I was the same, once. I wanted to strike out. I wanted to be me. My own father and I grew distant, eventually. I moved to Canterlot, eventually. The rest is history.” He sighed. “But I forgot myself. I woke up to it eventually. You wanted to be your own pony, so I let you be that, even if it meant parting ways.” He rubbed his chin. “Nowadays, I just keep coming back to this, and I keep dragging you along with me. Maybe so you can understand.”
“There’s always a place where we belong, you know,” I said. “Maybe at heart, you’re no Canterlotian, just like I’m no Ponyvillian.”
He looked at me, then. “Perhaps,” he said.
The rest of the night? We just sat, and sipped our cider, and watched the fireworks, and thought.
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Firefly's Author
This one's a toughie, but I'd vote Firefly's Author because of the way he is able to make Mild Manners and Fire Fly really shine in their construction of the personal magic device.
Mild Manners's Author
I think that this may be the longest I've contemplated over any vote in the competition. These rounds are getting real tough!
Firefly's author did a lot right. They drew a good parallel between Firefly's personality and Mild Manner's personality and ran with it, and I really enjoyed where it went. There was a natural progression to it, and I'm always a sucker for dual storytelling like that, so kudos. But I encounter the same issued here that I did with Firefly's first round story—the characters, save Firefly, don't always feel themselves. Don't get me wrong: I don't think Mild Manners was butchered in this story by any stretch. But something about his dialogue and his mannerisms just felt… off. I don't know how to put it any better than that. Twilight and Rainbow didn't seem themselves either—Twilight's dialogue was especially off for me. I really liked Whirligig, though, and the (manti)core plot was really quite clever. Like I said, the story was lovely—the characters felt wrong.
In contrast, I think Mild Manners's author told a less gripping story, but holy hell did you nail the characters. Every character just flowed so well into this setting. And on that note, the setting was really nice too. I got a very down-to-earth vibe from how you described Ponyville and the library and the train and the Forest Festival. It was all pitch perfect. The only thing is that I wanted to see more of Firefly and Mild Manners actually interacting. To do so would've gone against the story's natural rhythm, though, and I'm glad you recognized that. What little interaction they did have was exactly how I imagined these two characters would talk. Plus, Firefly was pretty pivotal to the plot here, so I can't fault you for making Firefly a non-entity.
All things told, I wish both authors could progress. They can't, though, and I refuse to abstain, so I have to go with my personal preference here.
Firefly's Author
Both stories focus too much on the authors' own characters without letting the other character play much of a role in the story. I got some Mary Sue-ish vibes from the first story, and I'm not sure there's much of a message to the story other than "Firefly is an awesome hero." Indeed, Mild Manner's role in the story is relegated to helping explain why Firefly is awesome. That said, the story is well structured, and the alternation between the present story and the flashback with Mild Manner really helped to enhance the tension in the story. The characterization is pretty straightforward, however, and the story is somewhat trope-laden (hero must save the damsel in distress, hero must sacrifice that which he desires most [though he doesn't really end up sacrificing anything in the end]).
In contrast, Mild Manner's story is much more of a slice-of-life tale, and it deals with issues that are much more real and relatable than those in Firefly's story. I loved the narrative voice, and the narration enhanced the complex characterization the author builds of Mild Manner. The fatal flaw of the story, however, is that it's only about Mild Manner and doesn't incorporate Firefly in any meaningful way. The story could have kept the same theme and shifted more focus on Firefly, given the backstory Firefly alluded to in his previous story. While Mild Manner's story was overall a much better read, I have to vote for Firefly's author because he at least attempted to incorporate the other OC into the story.
Firefly's Author
This was very difficult as these stories are very different, but both very good in their own ways. BTW - these stories bucked the trend of authors focusing perhaps too much on the opponent's OC to the detriment of their own. Also, both authors explored the consequences of choices made and the pivotal role others can play in a character's life, although the style could not have been more different.
Firefly's author's piece was a great ride full of action and did some decent world-building in the area of magic. The author also continued the narrative started in the first round, and made good use of both OCs. Mild Manners' author did a wonderfully moody slice-of-life piece that was a joy to read.
Overall, however, Firefly's author provided a lot more interaction between the OCs, drawing heavily on the OC profiles. In Mild Manners' author's story Firefly' presence was too brief to be able to do much exploration of his character. Oddly, Mild Manners' author had his OC be an earth pony in the first round, a unicorn in the second, and back to an earth pony in the third!
Overall, my vote goes to Firefly's author as he made better use of both OCs.
Firefly's Author
I'll give kudos to Mild Manner's author for making me hate his parents, but I felt a much more stronger piece from Firefly. When I was reading it, I immediately got a voice and attitude from his dialogue alone. I had an actual, mental voice for Mild Manner and a distinctly different one for Firefly. The story worked better for me as well on Firefly's side: his job, his interests, his actual risk of losing everything... yeah. Well done, Firefly.
Mild Manners' Author
[Note: I originally voted for Firefly's author, so the wording of this comment is in line with that until the edit at the bottom.]
Man, do I ever hate to do this. In my eyes, Mild Manners' author's piece was superior in tone, construction, and general characterization, and is the better story overall, but it almost feels as though little to no attempt was made to adhere to the spirit of the contest.
Let me talk about all of the reasons I thought I would be voting against Firefly's author right up until I was about three quarters of the way through Mild's author's entry.
To start, there were a good many small flub-ups in Firefly's author's entry: typo here, extra space there, a lack of necessary capitalization, and one area where super-commas were used for no reason. Nothing major, but I don't believe Mild's author made any mistake that I picked up on, so he or she was the winner in this department.
At the very start of Firefly's author's entry, I found myself confused by the in-line, nearly undistinguished flashback to the conversation with Rainbow Dash. And later, when the next scene shifted to a flashback to Firefly's encounter with Mild, the transition had led me to believe that it was all being summarized and told to Whirligig up in the frame—but then we get out of that scene and that turns out not to be the case at all. These kinds of constructions had me stopping and reading back, and even if that hadn't killed the flow of the story the constructions themselves went a long way towards that, I felt. Mild's author's entry, in comparison, was far smoother and more sensibly presented.
In terms of characterization, I have a similar issue with Firefly's author's entry this round to the one I had last round: there it was that the characterization of side characters wasn't handled impressively, but here it's some of that plus I feel that the side characters are given so much prominence and Mild Manners so little that he feels like a side character himself. Not very much more important than Whirligig. His characterization was all valid—if different from Mild's author's own take, which is fine—but like in round one, I get the sense that Firefly is unequivocally the main character, and most of everyone else's roles are in service to making him come through. Side note: I certainly don't fault Firefly's author for giving Mild a race other than what's on the sheet, Mild's author having made that mistake himself in the past—it made for a really weird contrast, though, when Mild's race wound up mattering so much to both of these entries.
The characterization in Mild's author's entry was, as I said before, more solid on the whole. Side characters felt believable and never overstayed their welcomes, and Mild himself was distinctive and likable. The story revolved around him, just as Firefly's author's did around Firefly, but the other characters felt more like people and less like devices. Of course, the whole damn thing falls through when we come to the matter of Firefly. I'm down for it if authors in this competition want to introduce the other character late into their entry, but A.) past the halfway point is really freaking pushing it, and B.) they've got to be i.) in there for more than half a scene, ii.) developed past one or two facts of their character, and iii.) given more weight in the story than informing a single conversation that the main character proceeds to have with a completely different character!
Mild's author, whoever you are, you're a good writer. I want you in this competition, but I want you caring more than this. If I'm wrong in my judgement here, and you were just really rushed for time or something and didn't meant to make the gulf in character focus so unbelievably wide, then I'm sorry for shouting, but good lord. Firefly's author, maybe try a round without all the side characters—I'm worried that Firefly isn't workable enough on his own and you may be using them as a crutch.
Edit: You know what? Screw it. I'm choosing to exercise my right to go for story quality as a chief factor in my decision. I'm changing my vote to Mild's author, because as we go forward in the competition, he or she has less to fix than Firefly's author. I'm confident Mild's author would be the better contender, and I doubt he or she would make this same mistake again—if Firefly's author learned (and then subsequently half unlearned, it looks like) so harsh a lesson, I'd bet money Mild's author can do the same.
I fully recognize that this makes me something of a hypocrite after my tirade over Firefly's author's entry in round one, but hell if most everyone else doesn't also seem to be going against the reasoning they used when they voted there.
Firefly's Author
I felt that Mild Manner's Author didn't include enough of Firefly in the story, to the point where it seemed like the story was focusing solely on Mild Manner with Firefly as a character device.
One major strike against Firefly's Author's story is the fact that the author got Mild Manner's race mixed up - the fact that he's an Earth Pony is supposed to be a significant part of his character. However, it still isn't enough for me to give it to the other author.
Firefly's Author
This would have been a tougher decision if Mild's author hadn't nearly ignored Firefly in favor of his own character. This late in the game, that's a fatal mistake. I really liked the story, almost more than the first, but I can't vote for it. Sorry, Mild's author!
This is another one that would've benefited from being longer. It needed another whole scene or two, and it needed more Firefly. The guy had like, six lines, and when I got to the end my only thought was, "Oh, that's it? He just met the guy once and moved on to his dad? There goes my vote." I don't like it when my votes are decided by things like this, but there's no way I could justify this one if I ignored that.
Firefly's entry does deserve a vote, though. The whole amulet thing was really bold, but I think it worked. I found myself more interested in the flashbacks about making the thing than the action in between, even though this is some of the babbliest magical technobabble I've ever seen.
My only remaining issue is the lasting consequences of this story. For how daring the rest of the story is in regards to possible consequences, it felt kind of disappointing that the only lasting one is that he has to use a battery with his amulet, like everyone else will anyway. I don't know for a fact if the story would be improved by maybe leaving Firefly magic-less completely or not, but that's what I was expecting from it. That's what was foreshadowed. And it would've made for an interesting change if someone next round tries the continuation thing. Boy, I really want to put together that Slamverse canon, now.
Well, actually, the one time we've seen them they attacked a group, and you two being together later doesn't stop them.
I feel you, author.
6165567 Much more stronger?
6166890
Interestingly, Mild Manners' own author did exactly the same in the second round and had him as a unicorn, not an earth pony! I don't recall any other author changing the race of their own OC in the contest, and I've read most of the entries.
Mild Manners' Author
I will admit, this vote of mine is being swung purely by virtue of the fact that I found the latter story the more readable. The prose stylings of it were simply much more mechanically sound, and the first-person narration sucked me in from the very first sentence. While the former story gave the two characters greater screentime, I nonetheless feel the latter told the better tale and did so more effectively. I do find fault in the fact that Firefly is almost an ancillary character in it, but as a means toward advancing the story, he does his duty as required by the contest rules. Again, given the choice between the rough prose of the former and the smooth voice of the latter, my choice is set.
Mild Manner's author
Possibly my favorite of the round, and definitely one of my favorites of the entire competition. Such good narration.
Abstain
For now, at least.
So anyway turns out there's still one matchup I haven't read or voted on yet.
I've made up my mind on Stacks vs Mango, too. I'll come back to that.
After finishing the first story here, the main thing I want to say is that it's very good. You did the characters well, including Twilight, you did a nice plot and resolution instead of just a talk-fic, and your style was smooth and entertaining. Those are the points I've been looking for, and you hit them all.
My main criticism is that your cohesion slips in the scene changes. I get what you were doing, having the flashback work into and converge with the action, but it became distracting and interrupted the flow.
Mild Manners is an awkward character since he's so understated unlike the ultra-straightforward ones like Wispy, Minié, Summer, etc. Using him as the helpful and supportive magic engineer was fitting and his voice felt good, so props there.
It's weird that you're the only OC who embraces your proximity to the canon cast and therefore the only one who writes about the m6.
On to the next...
Firefly's author
I'm gonna need to give this a proper reread to see why people are voting for Mild Manners.
How many lines does Firefly even have in this story? What does he have to do with the ending? And why is it more readable? Is it more readable even though it's really low-energy?
FIREFLY’S AUTHOR
I feel like this one was really close. Certainly, both authors have come a long way since round 1 and should be proud of what they've accomplished here.
The Artifact
Liked: Whirligig is a hoot. :D “I was like furniture or something!”
Disliked: I wish Whirligig had been your OC. I’ve never been terribly interested in Firefly. :(
The Forest Festival
Liked: That little “she knew” with him interacting with Twilight. Seeing him connect with her helped me connect with him, somehow.
Disliked: Mild’s general disinterest in his surroundings otherwise made me generally disinterested in what he was doing.
Firefly's Author
Firefly's author
Another flashback fic. At least it's ship-free.
You did a good job of mixing the past with the now. It gave us a good sense of character, and I never felt that you were spending too much time on a flashback scene--you said what you needed to say, and then you went back to the present. I'll admit to a bit of a negative reaction when the subject of manticore attacks was first mentioned, since as a primarily HiE author, manticore attacks are cliche. Despite that initial negative reaction, you kept my interest with a pretty good story. The biggest drawback is that it didn't really focus on Mild Manners in the present, and I'll admit I might not have seen that as a drawback if there hadn't been several other entries which relied heavily on flashbacks.
Mild Manner's author
I liked that it was in first person. You really got me in Mild Manner's head, and I never had a moment of difficulty seeing things from his point of view. Kudos for that. Many authors stick with one POV, but you've shown that you have the chops to switch things up.
On the downside, where was Firefly? It was a great SoL coming-of-age fic, and you had some very good worldbuilding in there--my guideline for that is whether I think of
stealingpaying homage to some of it for one of my stories. You painted me a scene with words, and I was there--I was committed. I saw; me in him . . . and I wanted to make it the winner. Honestly, were it any other contest, I would.But Firefly--in the whole story, it feels like you only gave the barest passing mention of him. LIke, "This is what happened. Oh, and Firefly was there, too." He's sort of an aside in the whole story, and really didn't matter. It felt like he could have been replaced with anypony else, or dropped entirely, and it would have had no effect on the overall story.