Thorax flew back to the hive, his emotions changing as he switched his thinking between his happy pony and dragon friends, his nostalgia for his old hive and how great it would be if they were friendly like ponies were, and his thoughts of how Chrysalis would start frothing at the mouth if he suggested making friends with ponies.
As he flew over the forest, he counted the hills, noted the distance from the mountains, and observed each body of water he passed over. The beauty of the landscape soon gave way to boring repetitiveness, and he was glad he knew how to use the various landmarks to orient himself rather than have nothing to do. But now, he knew he was almost there.
He looked right in front of him. Sure enough, there was a large black mountain in the middle of a forest. It was strange, usually the place was hidden much better, if he remembered correctly. Changeling material covering the outside of their home just didn't make sense.
Now filling up with curiosity, Thorax fluttered down to the mouth of a cave on the black mountain.
Things quickly became even more strange. There was changeling material on the outside of the mountain, but the material on the inside was splotchy at best. He would've bet that more than fifty percent of the ground was left completely uncovered.
And where was the rest of the hive?
Thorax looked left and right, observing the five entrances. To the left and right were Chrysalis' chambers. Regular changelings were not to go in any of those places. In front, the door to the hatchery stood tall, and since that was the hatchery he came from, he was free to enter.
Thorax walked up to the massive door, pushed it aside, and trotted in.
In the way of the hatchery was a room filled with history he didn't care for. He was there to see his hive-mates. Though, to be perfectly honest with himself, he might've wanted to stall a bit, since he was still unsure of how his hive would react.
He looked at some of the posters on the walls. One particular poster showed zombie changelings crowding what looked like Manehattan's streets.
Well, that might've been interesting, if not for the freaky decor his old home now sported.
Thorax flew on, entering his old hatchery.
He landed in the center of the room.
He stared blankly for several seconds.
This... this couldn't be right.
As he looked around, there were no changelings, and, like the rest of his home, the changeling goo was splotchy at best. He could see the rock walls that should've been hidden behind the goo, and worse, he could see connected pieces of what looked like rusted metal sticking out, like bone sticking out of a long dead animal.
If he was to be perfectly honest with himself, he didn't care much for his old home. Still, the sorry state of his birthplace made him whimper.
Dejected, Thorax turned around, flew back to the mouth of the cave, and lay down. He stared out to the forest surrounding his birthplace.
A long breath filled the cave with reverberating sound as Thorax sighed. What had happened to the rest of his hive? Was there a crisis? Should he have returned sooner?
Or, maybe they just moved. That would still be sad, but at least he would meet some of his fellow changelings later on.
But, wait a minute, what if many of them were starving like he was? He had a solution to their pain, but he wouldn't be able to get it to them in time! Maybe if he waited, one of them would come back.
A picture of the rusted metal sticking out of the formerly living hive cave flashed into his mind. No, this was not a hive that changelings were coming back to. He would have to find his hive-mates elsewhere, wherever they were.
He laid his head down on one of the remaining splotches of changeling goo and closed his eyes, giving the former hive a moment of silence.
The wind outside blew past the mouth of the cave.
The birds chirped.
Thorax's heart beat rhythmically.
Holy SHIT guy! Thorax heard a female changeling laughing in his mind, from a distance. What the FUCK is wrong with you!
Thorax perked up. He could hear his hive!
Hey, you laugh now, but I'd bet you a grilled salmon that it would help with love extraction. I mean, how else do you extract love? He heard another male changeling respond. He assumed this one was 'Guy'.
Thorax perked up. His hive-mates were alive! Oh, how great it would be when he saw them again!
A scene made its way through the hivemind. A changeling hoof picked up a terrified and flopping fish. Then, the hoof turned the fish over and...
"W-what? No. NO! NOOO! Augh! Gross! What in Equestria is he doing!" Thorax yelled, closing his eyes and trying to shake the images out of his head.
Wow, okay. Did you really have to add pictures? The female changeling said.
Thorax picked up a hoof full of the changeling goo he had been resting his head on and shoved it against his eyes. It didn't work.
Well, 'Guy' responded, how else would I get the point across?
There was no response.
You know what? I'll see what Chryssi thinks. 'Guy' continued.
Wait, Chryssi? How did he get away with calling Chrysalis that? Was he one of the higher ups?
Chryssi! 'Guy' yelled.
Putting the question of how that changeling managed to get away calling Chrysalis 'Chryssi' aside, Thorax stood up. Maybe now really was a good time to reintroduce himself to his hive. They seemed friendly enough, if a bit perverse. Chrysalis even seemed willing to accept cute nicknames.
No. Chrysalis responded, her annoyance clear in her monotone response.
C'mon, Chryssi! 'Guy' yelled again.
Please no. Chrysalis replied again.
Thorax started homing in on the origin of those voices. It would only be a few minutes before he was with his hive again.
Oh come on now, Chryssi! 'Guy' continued badgering the queen, I've got a great idea. You know how some of the changelings like wearing clothes right? Well, if you can call what they wear clothes.
Yourself being one of the first offenders, Chrysalis pointed out.
Thorax tilted his head. That was new.
Well, 'Guy' continued, ignoring Chrysalis' logic, how about we make some games where, if they lose, they have to take off one piece of clothing?
...I'm listening. Chrysalis said.
Thorax tilted his head. Really? Chrysalis was listening to allowing strip versions of games because she didn't like changelings wearing clothes? Weird.
Okay, 'Guy' said, so we take a fish... Suddenly, the same image of a fish popped up. The changeling hoof started to turn it over and—
Thankfully, the scene cut out. Ah huh, I'm just going to stop you right there, Chrysalis said. If you want to see if it works that way, by all means, have fun with your new job.
Uh, 'Guy' responded more quietly, I-I was just kidding.
Really? Chrysalis said. But if you don't do it, we'll never know.
I'm good. 'Guy' said.
I know you're good, Chrysalis said. Which is why you'll be good at your new job.
Thorax could hear whimpering noises reverberate in the hivemind.
Okay okay, Chrysalis said, mirth filling her voice. I was kidding too. Of course I'm not changing your job into... that.
Thorax stopped flying forward and hovered in place. The voices were now below him.
He stared down at the empty field beneath him and the cliff face next to it. All he had to do now was flutter down, quickly find his way into the entrance, and reintroduce himself.
Suddenly, a broadcast came from the female changeling 'Guy' was talking with earlier. It looked like she was doing full body push-ups as quickly as possible. Actually, she was doing them more quickly than possible. Well, really, It looked less like push-ups and more like a parody of a bad dance move.
Sorry about that, the female changeling said. Trying to come up with new exercises is hard.
Oh? 'Guy' said. I know all about making your body harder. You gotta do partner exercises. I like the one where you lay down and wrap your hind legs around my shoulders so I can keep you balanced while you do ab workouts.
Thorax blushed when an image came to mind. He decided to hover in the air a bit longer.
...Y'know what, fuck you. The female changeling said, though it was in a strangely friendly tone.
Hey, if you don't like that one, we could do the one where you do squats, and I lie down under you to make sure you have proper form. 'Guy' said, having trouble keeping himself from laughing.
Argh, no! I completely forgot what I was doing! Chrysalis cried out.
Maybe you should focus on your work instead of private conversations between your subjects then, 'Guy' replied.
...I hate you. Chrysalis said.
Okay, so they were a little weird, but they were his family.
Thorax started hovering down to the mouth of the cave.
Suddenly, an image of a changeling being slapped with a fish entered Thorax's mind. The fish exploded, and the poor changeling was flung across the room.
No, please, I didn't mean it! The changeling spoke in a higher pitched version of 'Guy's' voice.
It's too late now! The female changeling laughed. You're going to remember not to—
Wait, 'Guy' interrupted. Why not just do that in real life? Why go to all the effort of showing me a movie of it? Just come over here and slap me with your fish.
Don't tempt me, The female changeling replied.
Hohooooo! 'Guy' made some sort of noise.
Wait, was that another perverted joke I didn't get? The female changeling asked.
Yeah, you're not having much luck with them. Why don't you come over here and get lucky? 'Guy' answered.
Thorax stared down a bit longer.
Aaand there it was: a green flash lit up the ground below Thorax and a crashing noise nearly deafened him.
Oh yeah! 'Guy' said. that's more like it!
Thorax turned around. He could always visit his old family tomorrow, or the next day. Besides, they seemed like they were doing well enough without him.
I got tired of waiting, so I did a thing.
...Did I go too far?
I think that's the most entertaining "screw this" I've ever read! Though wouldn't this mess with the time line a bit? Considering the whole three and a half seasons between the Wedding and Thorax's intro...
7500173
Actually, I made everything disconnected enough from Equestria in the early stages that I should be able to keep my story where the show is time-wise. Besides, this could easily be a long time since the previous chapter.
I think I covered my bases well enough, probably.
A very amusing vignette to go with a deeply intriguing earlier chapter. I quite enjoyed both of them... though I do have to wonder what made Thorax the one lucky changeling to snag his own personality rather than someone else's.
7500209
It's a secret.
Seriously though, I did have something in mind for that. Don't worry, I'm not completely making things up here.
Well, I am, but... you know what I mean.
7500216
Chrysalis accidentally fed him a double ration of love when he was young?
7500254 Or dropped him into a vat of love nectar or whatever, a'la Obelix.
Anyway, nice chapter and nice to see that Chryssie still has her job.
So there were only two lings active when he found them? Wonder what everyone else was doing, someone should have spotted him, despite their general incompetence.
I would not envy he who would hold the job of Fish Gutter.
Keep going! ;)
I vote that he got a very unobtrusive soul, such as that of an infant, and so he was able to be more like a changeling than a human.
Well that was funny. The whole fish thing was what made this chapter funny.
7500254
7500279
7500293
All very good theories. I won't confirm any of them, since that would be spoiling, but some are definitely closer than others.
7500281
Their jobs.
Though, even if they did spot him, it's plausible they would've mistaken him for one of their own, and not done anything about it.
But thanks! Actually, I think I might post the next chapter soon. One of my editors already ran through it enough times with me, and the other said he didn't catch any glaring mistakes. I should be able to post it... next week, I guess.
7500295
Thanks!
So since Thorax has a personality and is in this story did he somehow get a human soulind before being born and thus was intelligent and decided to not say anything?
The world will never know till we reach that chapter.
Weelp, as of right now you have one more follower of this story. 'Human' tag always has me a bit dubious, but so far this is incredibly amusing and very promising to follow. :D
7500517 I have a habit of popping up in random locations.
So, to sum up this side chapter:
Thorax: ... "Pluck this chitin. I'm out."
...
It was okay. Nothing special, nothing terrible.
Hehehe.
Giggity
7500481
7500849
Just okay?
Well, actually, I don't know how to take that. I tend not to read side chapters in stories anyway.
...Got any advice?
7500943
I think you managed to sum up the chapter even more than TundraStanza did.
On a serious note, is Thorax going to actually play any part in this story? Also, what kind of grass are those changelings on?
You did not go too far at all. This was brilliant
I actually was a bit more surprised at Thorax's lack of being more surprised.
7500748 I have a habit of pooping in random locations... ... m-metaphorically...
7500281
You and I have different definitions of "fish gutter"
7507813 hey, if you have the kink I'm not shaming it.
Lay down
7512590
It's actually pretty impressive that you caught that one. A lot of people miss that mistake, and if they do catch it, they might correct it to the wrong thing. I still use google to look up things like that when I do editing... and I miss it anyway, apparently.
7514707
Thank you, but yeah, do your final read through out loud. It'll help you find those few things spell check misses.
7515420
I would, but it's kind of embarrassing to do that in a dorm.
7515763
Ah, too bad. Well you'll always have us readers finding the typos to perfect your work.
7516015
Aww, thanks.
7524669
derpicdn.net/img/view/2013/4/20/303695__safe_pinkie+pie_rarity_discord_wat_discorded_twiface_the+return+of+harmony_wrong+neighborhood_discoface.jpg
MFW someone tries to make sense of events around Discord.
Hehehehehe...
Fuck this shit I'm out~