[Cover Art by Me]
After a challanging battle with the doctor - Sonic finds himself trapped in an orb that teleports him from his world and into another.
After landing in world of Equestria - its clear that the emeralds are missing and he is officially alone. Sonic's personality lightens abit due to being nervously-worried.
-trying to make this an actual story instead of an "ohmygosh sonic has to get home while acting as himself the entire time" .... blah..
first fanfic of anything... definatly first MLP fanfic... (however iv done short stories in the past).
working hard to come up with ideas and trying to flesh out the story is taking awhile but im abit happy with what i have currently. - i realise that its not perfect and i dont want to hear nitpicks - they arnt helpful at all.
- there may or may not be sonic x apple jack - im not sure...but it wouldnt be love anyway - just closer friendship..
gahh - plans swim in my head! D:
enjoy. (please please).
Jeeze. Sonic sure ends up falling into Equestria ALOT.
Though yeaaaah story. You need to work on grammar, spell check it, show don't tell the audience what is happening, and make it longer and more descriptive.
Don't give up though.
I stopped reading after the second sentence, why?
>FlutterShy.
It's Fluttershy, at least make sure you spell the names right.
Hey hey, a fellow sonic fan--good to meet you in the world of pony!
As for the story: not bad! If I could make a small suggestion though--you might want to clean this chapter up a little bit before progressing. Mostly just some grammar and structure stuff; you know, like capitalizing the first letter in each sentence and putting things into proper paragraph form--also a few spelling errors. Sure, it takes more time than simply belting it all out, but it'll be worth it in the end. It also goes a long way towards getting others to read through it and like it. And it really ain't that difficult--just look at any one of the featured stories and see how they do it.
But you can do what you want, of course.
Oh, and if it's taking a while to think of things to write, don't worry! Seriously, the more time that's put into a piece of writing the better. Since this is your first fic, the more time you spend on it and the more you write, the more you'll learn and the better you'll get. Like Whalesbefreeyo wrote above, you might run into some negativity, ranging from a little to a lot, and that always sucks. But it's also part of the game, and as long as you keep forging ahead you'll get past it, and I've no doubt you could put out one slammer of a fic. It'll just take time, is all.
Anyway, keep it up and good luck!
589505 i know he does - alot, but im trying to make this as a real story instead of just "ohgosh sonic needz to get home!"..
i realise that is far from perfect at the moment but i am trying ><
thanks for the motivation.
im looking forward to the next chapter. Not the best thing I've ever read, but good! Never give up. You're doing great!