Humans in Ponyville, Chapter 1
The train chugged its way down the mountainside, looping back and forth to follow the tracks. In the distance, the sun was just beginning to peak over the horizon, lighting up the land below. Most of the ten humans in the car were chattering and exclaiming over every little thing, overflowing with excitement and marveling at the landscape scrolling by so far away. All of them had their phones out, taking videos of anything and everything that caught their eyes.
Jerry Mallon had his own spot at one of the windows. In spite of his gleaming bald head and scruffy grey beard, being an active outdoorsman had kept him lean and trim, meaning that most people guessed his age at a decade or more under his actual age of sixty-two. He was the oldest human on the team by almost twenty years, followed by Tom Carsten, who was the head of the roofing team.
Maybe it was because of that age difference that Jerry didn’t see the point of loudly describing everything that passed by outside of the windows, as if he’d never seen trees or rocks before. That didn’t stop him from taking plenty of videos of his own, though.
It had been a hectic day so far. After being rushed through the gateway at an ungodly hour, they had been received by a group of pony escorts, five of whom had been in the armor of the Royal Guard. Even though they’d spent the previous day chatting with Lyra, the unicorn that worked at Harmonics, seeing that many ponies all at once had blown some sort of fuse in a couple of the kids. They’d just stood there gawking at the ponies until Jerry had finally had enough and started nudging them in the back to get them moving.
The ponies had led them through the sleepy city of Canterlot, the cobbled streets lit yellow by the flickering streetlamps that pushed back the darkness. They’d been hustled straight to the train station, where they were surprised to see that an actual steam locomotive was waiting for them. Other ponies had hauled their gear in wagons, even going so far as to load it onto the train for them.
It had been a weird thing to see, and Jerry still had to shake his head over it. He’d seen horses back on Earth, but to see an Equestrian pony willingly walk up and put on his own harness in order to pull a wagon had been beyond surreal.
The train had taken off a few minutes later. There were no other passengers, since someone in the pony government had commissioned it just for this one trip.
Jerry looked over the team he’d assembled. All of them were folks that he’d worked with before. He knew all of them, they knew their jobs, and he trusted them to be on their best behavior at all times. That last one was important, since there had been no less than twelve bureaucrats over the last ten days who’d made it a point to tell them that they’d be representing humanity as a whole.
They’d even taken classes on it. Jerry still shuddered over the “do’s and don'ts” presentation they’d been forced to sit through on Thursday last week. No swearing, no physical contact, no taking pictures of the residents, answer questions politely, always wear your nametag, and so on. Maybe it was necessary to go over it, but the six hour presentation with the follow-up written test seemed like overkill.
At least they’d provided coffee, donuts and a free lunch to go with the lecture.
The windows darkened as the train went through one final tunnel, finally coming out amidst the foothills of Canter Mountain.
“It looks so… normal,” said Tandy. Her hair, which was almost definitely another one of her many wigs, was long and black with a single red streak by her left temple.
“Yeah. I would have expected it to seem more alien,” Michelle replied. She was a short woman, running slightly to pudgy, which was a contrast to Tandy’s tall leanness. Her muddy brown hair was pulled back in a short ponytail.
“What, Canterlot wasn’t weird enough for ya?” Lucas asked, grinning and flashing his winning smile.
Tandy snorted and pushed his shoulder. “Nobody was talking to you, Lucas.”
Jerry frowned at the pair of them. Though he’d worked with both of them before, the two of them had never worked together. They’d been flirting since day one. Tandy had once described herself as “romantically playful”, always ready for fun. Lucas was too handsome for his own good and threw around smiles and winks like he’d cornered the market on them.
I hope this doesn’t become a problem, Jerry thought. He resolved to keep an eye on them. While he didn’t mind if the two of them hooked up, it would have to be after the job. No canoodling in Equestria had been in that presentation, after all.
He tuned out most of the chatter around him, looking back out the window and watching the hills and grasslands speed by.
They arrived in Ponyville almost before they knew it. One moment they were passing rapidly along the tracks, the next they were slowing to a halt as buildings popped up on either side of the train. With a final jerk, and the hiss of releasing steam, the train settled to a halt.
“Alright!” Jerry barked, getting the startled attention of everyone in the car. “This is it, folks. Remember the rules. Best behavior, always wear your nametag, be nice. Any of you screw up, you’re right back on the train and out of town before you can blink. Got it?”
“Got it, boss!” Tom Carsten replied, grinning. “So, let’s go see some ponies!”
Jerry rolled his eyes. “Fine, fine. Let’s move it.”
The group of humans moved towards the exit to the train car. Jerry went first, looking around to see what kind of welcoming committee they’d get. To his mild surprise, there was only one pony on the platform waiting for them. To his greater surprise, it was a pony he actually recognized. She was wearing a bright yellow dress so he couldn’t see the sunflowers he knew were on her hips, but he definitely recognized her. Putting on his best grin, he approached the mare with his hand extended. “Miss Sunflower, I presume? I’m Jerry Mallon. I’m the head of this little gang of interdimensional explorers.”
“Yup, I’m Sunflower.” The light brown mare extended a hoof and Jerry took it in his hand, giving it a shake and letting it go. He was mildly surprised by how warm it was. “You can call me Erin if you like, it doesn’t matter to me.”
Jerry looked down at the pony, all fuzzy and adorable with her tumble of auburn mane, her wide, pine-green eyes, and warm smile. He decided right then and there that calling her anything other than “Sunflower” would nearly be a crime. She was just too damned cute for a plain old human name.
Sunflower continued on, unaware of his decision. “How was the trip?”
“Hectic at first. The ponies shuffled us through the palace and onto a train before we could even blink. Though, they were nice enough to carry all of our gear for us.” He clapped his hands. “Oh, that reminds me! A few of these boxes are for you. Maggie Henson asked us to deliver them for you.”
“Awesome!” Sunflower said with a wide grin. “That’s got to be all the stuff I ordered.” Her grin faded, replaced by a frown. “At least I hope that’s all of it.”
“It makes a stack as high as I am tall,” Jerry replied. “I have to admit, I’m curious as to what all that is.”
Sunflower winked. “It’s a surprise for the ponies.”
Jerry glanced over his shoulder to see that his fellow humans were standing clumped together, talking and pointing out landmarks. The one exception was one of the wifi techs, Erika, who was standing and gaping at Sunflower.
“I suppose I should introduce the gang,” he said, then whistled sharply to get everyone’s attention. “Over here, guys!”
The crew broke off their chattering. They came over, a few of them eagerly, the rest of them too busy staring around at the strange pony town to bother hurrying.
As Jerry started rattling off the names and specialties of the other nine men and women in the crew, he noticed that poor Sunflower’s eyes were starting to glaze over. He tried to keep the amusement out of his voice at the sight, though he didn’t blame her for losing focus. He was throwing a lot of names and information at her.
Sunflower blinked at the onslaught of information. Then she looked curiously at the front of his shirt. “So, why the name tags?” she asked.
Jerry winced. He’d forgotten he was wearing one, along with the rest of the crew. It was a little demeaning, even if he knew there was a good reason for it. He hid his discomfort by adjusting his own tag and buffing it against his collar.
“Before we came over, we were given this big speech about how we’re all the ‘representatives of humanity’ and all that,” he said.
It had been more of a lecture, really, and it had been one of many, all delivered by extremely grave men and women with very important job descriptions and severely serious suits. They had all been warned, repeatedly, to not mess this up. If the ponies had bad things to say about them, it was unlikely any of them would ever find contract work with the government again.
“We’re supposed to be nice, friendly and approachable,” Jerry continued. “We’re also supposed to be on our best behavior.” He gave his crew a stern look out of the corner of his eye. “Isn’t that right, gang?”
“Sure is, boss,” said Tony Bello, one of the men on the solar tile team. The rest of the crew were quick to offer up their own assurances as well.
“Well, that’s good,” Sunflower said, smiling and perking up her ears.”So, I think we should get you guys settled, huh?”
~~*~~
Sunflower led them through a town that looked like it belonged in either a fairy tale or a Disney movie. It shouldn't be possible to feel nostalgic about a town on an alien planet, Jerry decided. But here he was, in this quaint little town of talking, colorful ponies, absolutely sure he’d seen this place before, or at least one very much like it.
Almost all the homes were thatched, though a few had slate or tile roofs. A few of the homes and businesses broke the town’s rustic aesthetic, with buildings that were downright weird, including one that looked for all the world like a jester’s hat and another that looked like a carousel.
There was even one building that looked like a fairytale-style gingerbread house. Judging from the mouth-watering aroma of baking bread that was wafting out of it, it pretty much had to be a bakery. Jerry’s stomach rumbled, and suddenly that morning’s breakfast seemed like it had been hours ago. He decided then and there that he was going to that bakery the very first chance he got.
The Moondrop Inn was one of the more rustic buildings. It was a large, two-story structure, the exterior walls fronted with river stone up to the bottom of the windows, and what looked like pine above, all done up in natural colors. To Jerry’s eye, it looked like something transported directly from a high-end ski lodge.
The bell above the door gave a little jingle as Sunflower pushed it open. Jerry followed her in, the rest of the humans trooping in behind him. He looked around, noting the cozy interior with a certain amount of satisfaction. To the left was a large room populated with small couches, cushions and chairs. Bookshelves were built directly into the walls, holding not only books but various knickknacks and other small items. Dominating the room was a fireplace that was fronted with yet more river stone. The floors were a scuffed hardwood, well-cleaned and stained dark brown. Tasteful if somewhat worn rugs covered most of the floor.
Straight ahead of the first door was a staircase that led to the second floor. To the right was a door, which opened just as Jerry looked at it. A pale blue mare trotted through, freezing and looking startled at the large group of humans milling about the place. Her silvery-grey hair was done up in a thick braid down her neck, and, as she trotted closer, Jerry noted that her tail had the same style. A bright white star was emblazoned on each of her hips.
The mare relaxed and smiled as she walked closer.
“How wonderful! My first human guests!” The mare looked them over. “Wow, you look different from what I expected.”
Jerry chuckled. “Do we, now? How did you expect us to look?”
“Ah, well…” The mare winced and looked towards the floor, rubbing one forehoof against the opposite leg. “Somehow I got the idea that you’d look like giant, pale frogs.”
That caused some chuckling, though Sunflower spluttered at that, finally managing an incredulous “What?! Where did you get that idea?”
“I, uh…” The innkeeper frowned. “You know, I don’t know. I think I just overheard it from somepony.” She brightened up, pointedly ignoring Sunflower’s irritated muttering. “I’m Moondrop, by the way. This is my inn. You folks need anything, you come and get me. Come on, I’ll show you to your rooms.”
“Do we get keys?” Jerry asked as he followed her up the stairs.
“Sure do! We keep the keys in the rooms. Oh, and I hope it’s not too big of an inconvenience that we've only got the four rooms. I’m expecting a couple more to open up in a day or two, and I’d be happy to let you have them, if you want.”
“That would be great, ma’am,” Jerry said. “Much appreciated.”
Moondrop stopped suddenly, and Jerry almost ran into her. “Now, now,” she said, smiling over her shoulder and flicking her tail at him. “The name is ‘Moondrop’. ‘Ma’am’ just makes me feel old!”
“Can’t have that,” Jerry said. “Not when you look so young!”
It wasn’t like it was a lie. Moondrop was a bit thicker around the waist than Sunflower was, but aside from their colors, he really couldn't see much difference between the two ponies. But all the ponies he’d seen so far had a kind of ageless look to them, at least to his eyes. The truth was that she could be a senior citizen, and he would have no way of knowing.
Moondrop’s answering giggle told him that he’d hit just the right note. Jerry grinned up at her. It always paid to be on the good side of your landlord, after all.
He heard Lucas, several paces behind him, make some comment to Tandy, who giggled. He wasn't able to make it all out, but he distinctly heard the words “ladies’ man.” He heard Sunflower, who was trailing at the rear of the group, let out an annoyed snort.
What was worse was that Moondrop’s ear flicked at the comment. That was when Jerry learned that ponies could blush.
Great. We’re here less than an hour, and already I’m going to have to have a talk with someone about their behavior, he thought.
The rooms were pretty much identical. Fairly spacious, with a bed that looked surprisingly comfortable wedged into the corner of the room. There were also end-tables and a small dresser available to use. Jerry looked at the available floor space and gave a satisfied nod. It looked like there would be plenty of space for two or three air mattresses, and each room also had an outlet for the air pumps they’d use to inflate them. Fortunately, each of them also had a power converter to allow them to use their gear with Ponyville’s strange outlets and inconsistent power grid.
Everyone seemed utterly charmed by the place, much to Jerry’s pleasure. Sunflower was standing at the end of the hallway with a pleased smile on her face as everyone remarked on how incredibly cozy everything seemed. It was all going really well until Moondrop pointed out the two large restrooms at either end of the hallway.
“So, wait,” said Michelle, one of the three women on the WiFi team. “The rooms don’t have attached bathrooms?”
Moondrop seemed taken aback by the idea. “Well, no,” she said. “Is that going to be a problem?”
“No, it won’t,” Jerry asserted quickly, cutting off the incipient grumbling from a few of the other crew members. “The facilities are perfect.”
Which was true, even though the restrooms looked a little strange. Rather than the familiar pedestal toilet, there was instead a trough in the floor. The sink was pretty similar to what you’d find on Earth, with the faucets operated by pedals on the floor.
“So, everything is okay?” Moondrop asked, fidgeting a little as she did so.
Jerry didn’t know much about pony body language, but with her ears swiveled back and her tail flicking like that, it practically screamed nervousness. He smiled and nodded. “The rooms are perfect, Moondrop. Thank you so much.”
“Glad to hear it,” she replied, smiling and relaxing visibly. The front door jingled just then, with Moondrop’s right ear swiveling to catch the sound. “Well, it sounds like I have another visitor. You folks get settled in, and come find me if you need anything. Oh, and the keys are hanging up next to the door. You can lock your rooms if you want, though we don’t really have a theft problem here in Ponyville.”
“Will do. Thanks again, Moondrop!”
She waved and trotted back down the stairs, and Jerry spent the next few minutes deciding who was going to room with whom. It seemed obvious that the three women would be in one room, which left three to split up amidst the remaining men. Jerry found himself in the same room as Tom and one of the two Robs.
Sunflower, in an apparent bid to stay out of the way as everyone got situated, was still at the end of the hallway. She was looking at a painting that was on the wall. Jerry had seen it himself on the way up and had been momentarily fascinated by it. The painting seemed almost like a typical landscape, except the point of view was from the top down, as if the painter had been above the scene, somehow. With a start, Jerry realized that might have been the case, if the painter had been a pegasus.
Even though he’d known about the ponies for months, now, it was still hard to wrap his head around how different Equestria could be.
“Alright, folks,” Jerry said once the chaos of room assignments was over. “Stow your clothes and personal effects here, get your gear, and let’s head on over to Sunflower’s place.”
The team quickly obeyed and, though there were a couple of minor squabbles over who would carry each individual room key, they were back on the streets of Ponyville a few minutes later.
The little town was waking up by the time they got there. Ponies of all colors and descriptions stopped and stared as the humans followed along behind Sunflower, each of them wheeling handcarts or carts loaded with boxes or utility bags. Jerry found himself the subject of more whispered conversations in the short trip to their next destination then he had in his entire previous life.
The stares and whispered conversations weren't one-way, either. The group of humans were doing plenty of that on their own. Sunflower disregarded the attention, though judging from the way her ears flicked around, she was aware of it.
“Aww, they’re just too cute!” Michelle exclaimed behind him.
He looked back to see her pointing at a couple of tiny, wide-eyed ponies who were gaping unabashedly at the procession of humans through their town. These two were much smaller than the others, one of them a white unicorn with a purple and pink mane and the other an orange pegasus with a purple mane. The two of them whispered something to each other, shot another fascinated look at the group of humans before shooting off together towards some unknown destination.
Sunflower’s own home was a cute little thing, a one and a half story with a cream-colored exterior and pine green trim. There were more flowerbeds in the front yard then there was lawn, with green shoots starting to poke their way up out of the soil. The yard even had a white picket fence surrounding it.
Jerry stood next to Sunflower on the street outside her house. She was watching as the crew brought the gear and boxes into her living room, and he was looking over the thatched roof with a discerning eye.
“Anyplace I can get lumber around here?” Jerry asked.
Sunflower stopped watching the crew stacking boxes and frowned up at him. “Lumber? Sure, Barnyard Bargains if nowhere else. Why would you need lumber, though?”
Jerry shrugged. “Might not, it all depends on what’s under that thatch. Gotta have something to attach the tiles to, after all.”
“Aah, right, gotcha.” Sunflower’s face scrunched up adorably for a moment. “Could that be a problem? I gotta admit, I have no idea what’s up there.”
“I wouldn't worry about it. We’ll still be done on time,” Jerry replied, looking around. Sunflower’s house was cozy but fairly Spartan. There was a couch and some end tables, there wasn't a whole lot of decoration aside from a couple of paintings.
Sunflower’s purchases were stacked in her living room, causing the cozy space to feel even more crowded. Not only that, but her home was going to be the unofficial headquarters for both the wireless and solar panel teams, with all of the gear and equipment stored there rather than in the much smaller rooms at the inn.
Sunflower sighed wistfully as she looked at the boxes, bags and carts scattered all over her house. “I just got everything put away, too.”
“Don’t worry, it’ll go quickly,” Jerry assured her.
Sunflower grunted, then sighed again. “Well, I suppose we should go see the mayor. She’s really been looking forward to meeting you all.”
“Lead the way,” Jerry said.
She did so, giving a little tour as she led them through town. Even with Sunflower pointing out various landmarks and places to eat, it was only a few minutes later that they approached the town hall. It was the tallest building Jerry could remember seeing in Ponyville yet, aside from the clock tower. It had the same cream coloration to its round walls that seemed so common here, with accents picked out in dark pink. Sunflower opened the door and held it while everyone else filed inside.
The mare that was presumably the mayor stood inside, looking both nervous and excited as she adjusted her collar, which was her only article of clothing. Several other ponies stood on either side of the mayor, all with nearly identical smiles.
“Welcome, everyhuman,” the mayor said. “Welcome… to Ponyville!”
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Unneeded.
Pray tell, what is 'the everything'?
I assume you meant to put 'had' in between?
I like your HiE stories, because there is context. That's why reading about Erin, and now about these guys, feels meaningful. Instead of just another "Anon ended up in Ponyville. Don't know why."
6041758
It makes sense as a speech which is being impacted by nervousness. She's changing what she is saying in mid-sentence from something like "so, the rooms are okay?" to "so, everything is okay?"
Ditto.
So are these people actual diplomats or just techies?
6043364
Picture the crew from Michael Bay's Armageddon. Except instead of blowing up an asteroid from hell and chewing bubblegum, they're patching up a pony's roof. And the bubblegum has been confiscated.
He! All those.protocol lectures will make that everypony think humans are weirder than they are xD
Jerry finding Erin to be adorable was a little too perfect. Little did he expect that she was a human in horsey form!
Also, I had not thought of the notion that pegasus artists would literally have more perspectives to paint. And now I'm imagining a story of a pegasus trying to figure out how to share what flying feels like with her ground-bound friends...
6047747 Even if he had not seen or heard of Erin/Sunflower after the announcement, he showing up on news stations while traveling back to the harmonics lab, or the interview she gave (while still in pony form) explaining everything, I am pretty sure they would have told him and his team before they showed up.
Though, I could be wrong and they lived under a rock, or the government didn't tell them and expected they had heard of her.
Mentioning "Disney Movie" twice here is a bit awkward - I think it would read better if either the first mention was dropped, or the second mention changed to "Probably from that Disney movie."
Or if the painter had been in a hot air balloon. Would have been easier from the balloon, possibly, for stability reasons. It's plausible that this wouldn't occur to him, though, but it saps the "so different from earth" feel a bit.
This is narration rather than dialogue, so axing the last two commas to leave it as "Sunflower disregarded the attention, though judging from the way her ears flicked around she was aware of it." makes it read better, since that makes what the "though" is directed at more clear.
Is Erika an angel? Every angel is named Erika (with a K).
Pfft, how else are we going to see the effects of Equestrian magic on human birth control and conception? Magical children? Scary.
More than a single day would have been too much to hope for, I imagine it feels too much like an exotic vacation for everyone to remember the rules.
Uh oh, the CMC have spied the human crew, nothing of that will end well.
Bit of a glitch here:
Seems a bit unlikely when some time earlier:
I believe the word you're looking for is peek: you're saying that the sun was just rising, not that noon was imminent.
6041860
And no unexplained portals or random omnipotent beings to be seen.
Bahaha yesss