Translucent Heart: Tales of a half breed

by Harmony Split

Holding my appearance

Chapter nine: Holding my appearance

Hours passed by while I held Lavender in my hooves, her head tightly pressed against my chest, she was listening to my heartbeat during her sweet slumber. Looking at her, I simply had to smile. I was happy, for the first time in a while I was truly happy. Everything in my head that told me I was happy with Berryshine was just pushed away.

For your safety…

Silently sighing, I looked at the window. It was still in the middle of the night, but I knew that we had to separate soon, or she would know. I hated the thought of having to wake her, but carrying her to bed wasn’t an option if I wanted answers before it was too late.

I need to know if there is any possibility to shut the hive out of specific memories or thoughts. If not, we’re literally screwed.

“Lavender,” I spoke as quiet as I could. “Please, wake up. We have to discuss a few things before she wakes up.”

Those words only caused the mare in my grip to slightly shift, burying her muzzle deeper into my fur. I smiled softly, but as much I wanted her to stay like this, we really had to talk.

“Lavender,” this time I cooed softly into her ear while unfolding a wing and tracing it over her back.

This seemed to work. She softly sighed before raising her head and blinking at me. “Good morning, beautiful,” she whispered and I smiled.

“Not morning just yet and I’m sorry to wake you, but we have to talk about the next days,” I said softly, still caressing her back with my wing.

She looked confused for a moment, but then she nodded. “I think I get it. You want to know what we can do so she won’t know it by simply reading our mind?”

I nodded and she leaned into me again. “Well, there are a few possibilities. First one is to flood your mind with bad and sad memories. Maybe even hurtful ones. While she is in your head, she feels everything you feel and with the flood of those bad memories you can hurt her and make her leave for a while or at least cause her to not listen. Second thing is a mental blockade, but she will definitely recognize it. You concentrate a shield spell, but not on your environment, but around your mind.”

“The first one doesn’t really sound appealing either,” I tried to joke.

She raised her head again and looked at me, a lonely tear making it’s way down her muzzle. I raised my hoof and wiped it away.

“From daylight on, I’ll have to hurt you. I hope you will keep your promise that it won’t stay in our way. Think about the nights where we can love each other,” she smiled a bit at the last sentence.

“Hey I’m not that easy either,” I jokingly replied, thinking about her earlier statement.

She blushed slightly before burying her head once again into my chest. “I love listening to your heartbeat,” she softly mumbled, nuzzling deep into my fur.

I smiled and unfolded both of my wings, holding her even tighter into my grip. That smile faded once I caught a look at the clock. It was already five in the morning and I doubted that she was a long sleeper.

“I just hope my thought’s of you don’t betray me during the day. Let’s go to bed, the sun will rise soon,” I said, re-folding my wings and letting her free.

She rose with a groan before looking at me and smiling. “Carrying me to bed, honey?” she asked and winked at me, causing me to blush.

With a smile I grabbed her with my wings, lifting her onto my back. She purred slightly, giving me short directions to her bedroom. Once there, I softly laid her down on her bed, draping the sheets over her.

“Good night,” she whispered before she pulled me closer and drew me into a long, passionate kiss.

For me, it was still too short and I pouted as she broke the kiss. With a grin, she gave my muzzle a slow lick before cuddling into her pillow. “The room on the right next to mine is yours,” she said with a yawn and I smiled as I left.

Closing the door and heading to my room, I frowned. The easy part was done, now comes the hard one. Holding up the appearance for her. Finding bad and hurtful memories shouldn’t be too hard, Celestia knows I have enough of those. But keeping them up, that would be hard. I had no clue how long I could withstand my own feelings.

This could prove even harder than I thought, but the nights will be better.

With a sigh I opened the door to my room. There was nothing out of the ordinary, just a bed, closet, drawer, and a small nightstand. Laying down onto the bed I tried to keep my thoughts away from Lavender. Dreaming about her while she awoke and started to watch me was the last we needed.

I had no Idea what she had in mind for Lavender and me.

***

My dreams were unsteady. Sometimes blurring around Berryshine, sometimes about my time at the hive. Thankfully, none of them were about Lavender. As soon as the sun tickled my coat, I knew that she was awake.

Wakey, wakey…

I grumbled and turned in my bed, holding tighter onto she sheets.

Oh for the love of… get up!

I jumped up at that and slammed muzzle first onto the floor.

There was no need for that…

I can’t let you oversleep. Besides, we have plans for today. Get up and to the kitchen. Lavender Skies waits.

I rose and went to the mirror first, checking if my mane was okay and that I wasn’t bleeding. Blinking, I frowned before remembering that I had dropped my disguise yesterday. After a short amount of focus and some green flames, I was the plum pegasus with the raspberry mane again.

As I made my way down to the kitchen, I remembered what I had to do. Shutting it out of my mind, I tried to focus on my most tragic or hurtful memory, letting it wander through my mind.

What are you doing?

Ignoring her, I digged out the memories of my first day at the hive. It hurt, but I managed to withstand it, letting it just wander through my mind, hoping it would be enough. As I walked into the kitchen, I gulped as I saw Lavender’s expression.

This will be a hard day.

“Sit down and eat something,” she said, her voice was deadpan; I won’t lie, it hurt me more than I cared to say.

Well, that was to be expected.

I simply sat down and grabbed one of the pancakes, noticing the single strawberry on it. Just before the memory of Lavender’s smell could invade my mind, I managed to snap it like a piece of paper. It wasn’t easy, but I simply had to concentrate on the bad memories.

You two are trying to shut me out!

The voice hissed in my head and a quick glance to Lavender told me that she heard the same. Her emotionless expression cracked a bit, but it held. What neither of us expected was that she would recognize our reasons that fast.

Oh you two are so sweet. What are you trying to hide?

Lavender looked up, staring right into my eyes and I could see tears forming. I had no idea what the hive told her, but I knew that she was talking only to her right now.

How long before you two break? This will be fun.

Before I could reply, a green aura took hold of me. Lavender formed a silent sorry with her lips before I felt pain, a huge amount of it. It was like electricity running through my body, numbing every muscle, tearing down my nerves. The pain took hold for several minutes before numbing down.

Whatever you have planned, forget it! You will do what I say. If I say jump, you just jump without asking how high or from where; is that clear?

I never gave an answer, but she seemed satisfied. Glaring at Lavender I took a bite from my pancake before frowning. It wasn’t her fault. Looking up again I gave her a soft smile.

“It’s okay,” I mouthed before focusing on my pancakes again.

Her expression brightened a bit before she got serious. “Today we get you a job at the weather team. We will also set up a small schedule for the coming weeks with some rules.”

I nodded, still eating and trying to block out the pain that I could still feel in my nerves. Then, a thought occured me.

Weather team? Sure, my natural form is a pegasus, but I’m not sure if I’m made for this.

You will do good.

Wow, was that a compliment? From you? Getting weak?

Shut up or maybe you are up for another round of pain from Lavender?

I felt anger rising in me, but kept silent. There was no need to provoke her, especially if she used Lavender to hurt me. Even if she could do it by herself. I didn’t cared if the bitch hurted me, but now she had another weapon. I knew it’s gotta hurt Lavender to cause me such pain.

I don’t have to use my power on you if I have ants to do the same.

“She’s not an ant you bucking insect,” I muttered, shutting it out of my mind and Lavender snickered in response.

“Eat up. It’s time to go if we want to see the captain before they start their work.” Lavender said and gave me a small smile.

Maybe the day won’t be that bad.

Quickly, I got rid of every positive thought about Lavender and forced myself to focus only on the bad ones again. This time I didn’t overdo it, I simply let them come up naturally, trying to leave her unsuspicious. This time it seemed to work, since she stayed silent. Sighing, I shoved the last bit of food into my muzzle before I rose.

“Well, let’s go then.”

Lavender nodded and we put the dishes into the sink before heading out. I almost gasped when we opened the front door, it was a beautiful sunny day, the street was already crowded with ponies heading to and from their business.

How many of these days have I missed? How many have passed without me noticing?

Taking the lead, Lavender managed to led the way through all these ponies and towards a high, white building. Entering it, she headed straight to the desk.

“How can I help you?” the mare behind the desk asked.

“We have a meeting with Captain Lightning Bolt,” Lavender replied, nodding to me.

“Names?”

“Lavender Skies and Morning Dew,” Lavender winked playfully at me.

“Ah yes. Second floor, please. She’s waiting for you,” the mare said and focused back on her paperwork.

Lavender motioned for me to follow her and we went to the stairs, going up to the second floor. The office of the captain was hard to miss; a double door with a big sign next to it made it almost impossible. Gulping, I stood next to Lavender as she knocked.

“Come in,” a muffled, deep voice replied.

Opening the door, we stepped in, just to be greeted by a black mare with a yellow mane sitting behind a huge desk. “Sit down,” she said, putting the papers aside she was reading just a moment ago.

“So, you would like to start at the weather team?” she asked, focusing on me after we took a seat.

“Yes, ma’am,” I replied, knowing how to respond.

She smiled slightly. “Good, you seem to have the right attitude,” one of her hooves crawled in a drawer, coming up with a small piece of paper. “You never cloudbusted before, besides doing it for fun in your youth?”

“That’s correct, ma’am, but I really loved it and after my old jobs just weren’t the right fit for me, I would like to give it a try,” I stopped and pointed at my flank and the three clouds on it. “After all, it’s what my cutie mark tells me,” I ended.

Lightning Bolt seemed happy with the answer and nodded. “Well, I would say we test you for around a week, but beyond any unknown issues, let me be the first to say welcome to the Manehattan weather team, Morning Dew.” she rose and reached a wing out.

I unfolded my right wing and gave her the typical pegasi greeting, glad that I still remembered it. Sitting down again, she went through some more papers before passing me a stack of them.

“You can start tomorrow, right in the morning. Please be here at around six a.m.. Today you should read through those papers and sign the marked ones. After you went through the week and I’m sufficiently impressed, you’ll get your mark and the title. Until then, I hope you work and train hard.” Lightning Bolt gave me a last smile before putting her papers up again, not giving us another gaze.

Knowing that we were dismissed, we rose and left the office. Lavender suddenly wrapped me in a short hug. “I knew that it would work,” she said, before we both broke the embrace and blushed heavily. “Block it out,” was all she added before heading down the stairs and out of the building.

Lavender took the lead back to her home, personally I had no idea where we were. I knew I should be paying attention, but I was simply trying to focus on keeping her out with bad memories while trying not to catch the scent of the mare next to me.

While we walked, Lavender’s expression turned from happy and smiling to hurt and pained. I knew what would come soon; somehow.

It was when we reached her house and entered, I felt a strong pain in my back and fell forwards, muzzle first onto the floor. As I looked back, Lavender looked at me, anger and pain mixing up on her muzzle.

“Now for the rules. You will obey everything the hive or I tell you. Besides your work you will do small errands for us. If you try to contact Berryshine or tell that lunar guard anything, you will be punished. Same goes breaking any of the other rules. Got that?” she asked.

Unable to do anything else, I nodded. Maybe the day wasn’t as good as I thought.

“I asked you if you understood!” Lavender screamed and I felt pain in my body once again.

“YES!” I screamed back, my attempt to try and withstand the pain failed spectacularly.

Every inch of my insides felt like it was on fire, like somepony injected fluid metal into my veins, burning their way through my body. The pain kept on until I passed out; however, even that wasn’t the end of it. The pain followed me into my unsteady dreams.

***

The sun tickled my muzzle and I opened my eyes to be greeted with Lavender’s smile. I smiled back and she leaned in, giving me a short kiss before her expression turned evil.

“You really think I could ever love you? Hah, after everything you did to me, I should simply burn you,” Lavender said; however, it was wrong, it wasn’t really Lavender’s voice. It was hers. “I hope you’re not going to cry now. After all, It was just some pathetic last-ditch effort to grab onto a plank to save yourself from the sinking ship called Berryshine; ADMIT IT!”

Every word hurt, even if the voice wasn’t the real one. Suddenly, the pony in front of me blurred, changed, and in front of me stood Berryshine.

“I thought you love me?! You left me without anything, maybe I’m better off dead than with you!” she screamed with tears in her eyes, the sight of it broke me.

Suddenly, both stood in front of me, Lavender and Berry. “We don’t love you!” both screamed.

My reply was a scream without words, a scream that shook everything, including my heart, and my soul. I couldn’t believe it, but still, something broke and the world turned black once again.

***

“NOOO” I screamed and jumped up from my bed, just to be greeted with Lavender.

“Shh, it’s okay, I’m here,” she softly whispered into my ear, unfolded her wings, and
wrapping them around me.

I let myself go, burried my muzzle deep into her fur, held steady by her wings while I cried into her chest, letting everything go. My crying went on for some time before the tears were gone and I looked up.

“Is she gone?” I asked and Lavender nodded.

“She has been asleep for some time, it’s about midnight,” she replied.

“I thought I would lose you,” I sobbed, snuggling into her coat.

“You won’t. I’m sorry for today, but she forced me or she would kill you and your
family,” Lavender’s voice broke as a tear slowly made it’s way down her muzzle.

“It’s not your fault,” I softly replied and she pulled me closer.

We both slumped down onto the bed, muzzles next to each other. Looking into her eyes, I suddenly felt protected, loved, and much more. I felt a burning desire for her, that I couldn’t put into words. Unfolding my own wings I drew her in closer until our lips met.

The kiss seemed to go on forever, something neither of us complained about as her tongue slowly asked for entrance, which I granted. Her tongue slowly slid into my muzzle, exploring everything before wrapping around my own tongue. It lasted until we had to break for air.

“Wow.” we both breathed, looking lovingly at each other.

Before I could react, she stood up and with a quick flip of her wings, positioned me onto my back. As she laid down on me, the burning desire in me just grew, making me nibble greedily on her muzzle.

To the day I die I would never forget her answer, and I would definitely never forget the night that followed.

Author's Note:

Here it is, chapter nine.
Sorry that it is late!
If you are interested what happened in the following night, read this. (I hope it get's approved pretty fast)
Have fun!

Comments

[tsaukpaetra]

It's still odd that they're being micromanaged like this. Are they really that important to the hive? The words say no, but this special attention says there's something deeper here....
Keep going! ;)

[Harmony Split]

5942200

Thanks!
Burning Desire is also up if ur interested

[Praetorian4Hire]

...I'm... Confused. For one thing, you had all this buildup saying that our little Changeling will be affaired with Berry, and then you just turn it around and she falls for a changeling (Something she supposedly despises) and one thats assaulted her more than once.

I know stockholm syndrome exists but it's usually in people that aren't abused or given a reason to hate.