I am new writer, so advice is greatly appreciated. I also can play guitar and bass.
On a fall afternoon, Rarity was in her boutique with no plans that night but to think about her secret crush, Fluttershy. The next thing she knew, Fluttershy asked her to come over. So she gets to spend time with her favorite pony. Except, she has trouble keeping her secret.
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Why is this reporting zero words?
Oh. Okay. Let's dive in then.
Right off the bat with your first line you drop the ball.
Why are you talking to a mirror indeed, Rarity? I honestly don't know why. It's not something Rarity would be typically doing and it feels more like a rushed set up more than anything.
The next paragraph reaffirms this, as the reader is given very little chance to settle in. It almost feels like your story skips the exposition and goes directly to the rising action. This isn't always a bad thing, as stories can start in media res, but without some kind of exposition, your story feels lacking. Also, we aren't given any reason as to why Rarity likes Fluttershy, aside from wanting to hug her everytime she hears Flutters say "yay", and that she's beautiful.
As there... date... hangout thing begins to occur I notice very little character interaction outside of small talk. Also, the reason Rarity has to spend the night is:
It feels incredibly contrived that just one gust of wind convinces Rarity not to try again... or that a gust of wind was strong enough to force her in the house without there being some kind of raging storm happening, and if that were the case the storm would be a good enough reason for her to stay.
After the decision to stay, you brush past an entire evening of activities with just a couple of sentences, and they go straight to bed. When Flutters is asleep she reveals that she's in love with Rarity, despite absolutely no indicators in the previous nine hundred or so words. So Rarity kisses her, waking her up, they say "I love you" and kiss some more. Kinda heavy on the cliches in this part.
Aside from everything mentioned above, there was some grammatical and paragraph spacing problems that you should work on. I suggest an editor or proofreader.
Closing thoughts: Your story is not bad, especially considering this is a first attempt, (Mine was worse, trust me.) but there is a lot of room for improvement. The exposition is lacking at best, and nonexistent at worse, the reason for their attraction to each other is... potatoes, and the ending was rushed, and riddled with cliches.
What you can improve upon: Have some genuine character interaction between Rarity and Fluttershy as they spend time together, make it apparent to the readers that they're attraction is mutual, but don't beat us over the head with it so much that the characters seem stupid for not realizing it. Also, feel free to get meaty with the details. Actions and descriptions can be just a useful as dialogue in getting your point across, and they also boost up the word counter as well.
Best of luck in future writing endeavors.
Don't feel too bad you or anyone one else thinks it's bad ; As a rule ALL first fanfics suck; It's keeping at writing that we grow and learn as writers and besides... It's way better than my first few attempts; ...... But my first one.... It really sucked!!!..BIG TIME!!!! .