Pinkie Prescribed
Chapter 38
Pinkie Prescribed
Whelp, it’s official.
I can’t be alone.
I don’t know if it’s all the fucking stuff that’s happened to me seemingly ever day of this week, or the cold uneasy feeling of being in the hospital waiting room, or what...
What I do know is that my emotions are all over the place and I don’t know whether I want to cry, scream, or kick everything around me. I’m pretty sure if it weren’t for the shooting pain in my... leg... I’d be doing all three. Oh, the irony...
Brick House’s unprovoked backstory is most likely what’s jamming a stick in the ‘I wanna cry’ button.
Yeah, sure, it was... interesting, but damn it! Who treats a pony like that?! Just leaving them out in the cold... Making fun of them for developmental issues beyond their control?
‘She was probably softening her story too. Back when I was little, I had emotional outbursts far more often than I do now...’ I take a deep breath and look around. I really hope none of the ponies- or creatures- are judging me- but why would they be doing that?
‘I don’t know... maybe because you’ve been in the hospital over almost every little thing that’s happened for the past week...’
Oh goodie... when I said that I couldn’t be alone or didn’t want to be alone, I didn’t mean that I wanted the bright pink opinion of your fetting fluffy tail!
“Yeah! The only pink fluffy tailed opinion she needs is mine!” Suddenly and without warning, it’s like a mass of pink just appeared to my left.
This causes me to yelp twice, first in surprise and then, of course, because the fetting for-fet-fettity-getter of a mother fetting fet fet fetting leg just got jostled again!
“AAArrrgh Fffffffet!” Fight through the pain! Push through it, mind over matter! There is no pain! There is no pain! There! Is! No! Pain! Mmmmm There! Now that sharp throbbing has subsided.
Now who- oh... right, of course. “PiNkiE PiE! It’s you!”
Unclench your teeth, H.B. you’re going to break a tooth, and the last thing you need in all this is tooth pain along with a trip to the dentist!... I wonder how Dr. Bright White is doing...
“Yupperunies! It’s me!” she says flashing that all too familiar, all too cheery, all too bubbly smile at me as she actually carefully positions her posterior onto the waiting bench to me. “How are you doing?”
“Oooh, you know...” Don’t say ‘how the fet you think I’m doing!? Just say- “Pretty much the same as when you and Dash loaded me into Joyful and Puzzle’s game carriage to take me to the hospital...”
“Sooo... Better?” She asks, eyeing my leg.
A chrockle with sarcastic undertones escapes me. “Oooh, I’m just fantastic, Pinkie.”
“That wasn’t a very fantastic sounding laugh...” She replies incredulously crossing her forelegs. “It didn’t even sound like it was spelled right...”
“Yeeeah, you caught me, ha ha ha...” Deep breath, try to relax. “I am in a great deal of pain and have been for...” I turn my head back over my shoulder. “At least almost an hour and possibly fifteen minutes, ope, strike that, add another fifteen or twenty minutes cause of the ride here!”
With my head craned the way it is, I notice a small detail that I hope others aren’t paying any mind to.
The branding.
I know it’s a black broken heart. I know the cracks are constantly changing due to the fact that I have eyes, and because of last month with the CMC and their little drawings as they couldn’t decide on which crack was the correct one, resulting in the events that lead to Scootaloo’s hoof coming into contact with it and practically getting consecrated... Wait, is that the right word? Can things be ‘blessed’ by evil, living, faery brandings? Fet! I’m getting off topic! Right. The branding’s cracks are practically changing before my eyes. At least they are at this distance. Tiny white cracks are opening and closing off the large primary middle crack and--
‘Hey! Dingbat! Run-on sentences much?’ Goth Bunny shouts from my mental vaults. ‘And Cream Puff believes you could write-’
Suddenly there’s an irritated snort on my neck. Turning Pinkie’s face is practically ‘filly-meters’ away from mine. She has one eye staring daggers into where my ear was.
“Uhm... Yes... Pinkie? Is there something wrong?” I carefully pushed my glasses up with the wrist on my right foreleg, Sweet Princess Luna on a pogostick, it was so much easier when I didn’t feel confused about calling it my arm! There were arms and legs and they were different and I didn’t need to expend more brain power calling them otherwise!
Pinkie backs away but still keeps that one eye open and doing that almost cartoonish... Thing! The thing where it seems to move back and forth pointedly! Gah, I have no words to word about this!
“Cha! Yeeeah! Didn't I just say that I didn’t come all this way here to have you being talked down to by some other pink themed negative voice!” her hooves clamp on the top of my head and underside of my chin. “Hey! You! Listen up little missy! That’s enough of that for today!”
“Hey! Let go, Pinkie!” Fuck! Can Pinkie hear Goth Bunny?! Quickly set out a diversion! “Not that I don’t appreciate the company, but what are you doing here?!” I ask while pulling myself from the pink vice grip. “I thought Fluttershy was going to meet me here after she dropped my bike off at the shop! And Cream Puff was going to be here too...” I feel bad about tacking Cream Puff on in the last sentence. “You’re not sick are you?”
‘Shows how much you real-’ Suddenly, Pinkie’s hoof juts up and boops my nose!
She slowly moves her other hoof down past her face, turning it from a smiley face to a frowning one before booping me a few more times while going ‘shhhh’. She then slowly raises that same hoof up, as it passes her face returns to bright and smiling.
“Nope! I’m not sick!” She taps on her chin and looks up to her left. “Or at least I don’t think so... I got this years’ shots and most importantly this year's lollipop! Mango-strawberry-creamsicle-delight! Mmm! It was soooo goood, so I should be good! No, I’m here because- uhm...” she takes out a slip of paper. “Oh yeah! Because Fluttershy saw how bad Cream Puff felt for missing cooking with you, so she took it upon herself to take your place, after I pleaded my case with the Cakes to use their kitchen!” she said, gesticulating and bobbing her head back and forth, a hoof on her chest.
“Oh...” Well, that’s setting up a slightly conflicted set of feelings. Should I be happy that Fluttershy thought to do this, that Cream Puff is getting a chance to cook/bake in an actual kitchen, or sad and a little maybe sorta kinda perhaps just the teeny tiniest littlest jealous that I’m not the one there helping her do this?
‘You know what I-’ Pinkie interrupts Gothy with another boop!
“Uhm, that’s really nice of her to do that and, uhm, help me keep my promise to Cream Puff...” Hey, Goth Bunny, G.Bun, Bunny O’ Mine... Maybe tone it down until Pinkie’s not here? I don’t know how many boops my snoot can handle here.
“Yeah! It was a really-” She looks at that paper again. “Kind thing to do! And because she took little Puff to Sugar Cube Corner, I took it upon myself not only to take the puzzles and games to the puzzles and games stores, but take your saddlebags from Cream Puff and take your bike to the bike shop!” she plops my saddlebags down next to the bench.
I chuckle and blow a sigh out of my mouth. “Fet... Locks. Tire Spoke musta thought he wouldn’t be seeing my bike again so soon...”
“No, he wasn’t!” Pinkie exclaims. Just then Nurse Hot Biscotti pops her head over the front desk and raises her hoof up in a shushing motion. “Oh! Sorry!” Pinkamus Pieacus turns back to me and in a much more, almost fluttershy-esk voice says. “Boy, he was really upset to see your bike!”
Sigh...
“Yeah... After all the work that he had put into that bike, me just going and twisting it up like that would be upsetting, I’d imagine...” This is the part where I would kick a forehoof and Goth Bunny would say something sarcastically self-deprecating but I can’t do that because A) the pain and B) that pink frosting and cake batter smelling hoof of Little Miss Pie...
“Actually, he didn’t seem upset at you at all and was yelling ‘Wer hat Stöcke geworfen?! Dies war ein Akt böswilliger Sabotage durch winzige Waldbewohner!’” She whisper-shouts. Seeing Pinkie Pie of all ponies speaking in such an angry sounding language like German... Germane? Whatever... is more than enough to send a shiver down my spine... Brrr! Why is it so gosh darn cold?!
“I don’t know what any of that means...” I confess pushing up my glasses and rubbing my shoulder to push past any chill. ‘They must be running the AC extra hard.’
“I think it means ‘The forest creatures are on the attack by means of giving stick the wings!’” She taps her chin. “I’m not totally sure as my Germane is rusty!” She’s now flashing me a rather... big smile. A Pinkie Pie smile. The only smile that this pink party pony perpetually produces...
“Oh...” I try leaning back from said almost sardonic grin, but Pain Hurtzalot reminds me the reason why I’m here by practically keeping my hoof down with invisible nails! For fet’s sake, I wish Pinkie would turn down the... grin to maybe like... five? Four even! Because ye gods, I know this is a leap in logic, but I can’t help but think of Smile.mov! With everything that’s happened to me! It’s not totally out of the realm of possibility!
As if sensing my discomfort, Pinkie gets a bit sad tint and scoots back...
“Aaaaany way, Fluttershy’s kind deed made me want to perform my own kind deed, and then I came here to make sure you knew what was happening!”
Sweet Princess Luna on a pogo- wait... I used that already, didn’t I? Uhm... Sweet ... Princess Luna in socks? What...ever... Why is she emphasizing good deeds all of a sudden? She sounds like the puffy pink protagonist of some after school special or what would happen at the end of every episode of Friendship is Magic when everyp-everyone would learn a less-
Oh.
“I see what’s going on here now...” Play it cool H.B., there’s no need to get upset, why even get upset? This is what they’re meant to be doing! Teaching lessons and learning to be a pony!
She giggles and kicks her hind legs over the ledge of the hospital bench. “Yeeeah! That’s because I just told you! Fluttershy felt bad that you-”
This time it’s my turn to boop Pinkie Pie! Though it’s not without a painful cost!
“It’S Not tHAT!” My words come out through an equine yelple. “Ooooooof-ta...” Breathing out like that calms the pain. “It’s the lesson you’re pushing about ‘one kind deed or Act cAn inSSSpIre anOther...”
She looks taken aback and opens her mouth agape while placing her forehooves into her fluffy... chest fluff. I wonder if she’s always been that... fluffy or am I so dense that I’m just now noticing...
‘So dense tha- ’
Pinkie e-hems while booping me, then switches back to looking eversoshocked. “Wwwwhat? Me try to talk about the kind things that one pony did that inspired another pony to do more kind things that just so happens to relate to the lesson Fluttershy is trying to teach you this month? What a coinkydink!”
Her overly bright smile coupled with that ‘squee’, that the more I think about it sounds like a dog chew toy, isn’t enough to save her from my incredulous eye!
“OoooKay... You caught me pink hooved!” she confesses, throwing said hooves up into the air before letting them fall to the bench. “You’re really good at sussing out the truth that’s out there!!”
“Uhm...” I feel my left eye twitch at that fourth wall breaking statement. I push it to the side and choose to laugh at it instead. After all, this is Pinkie Pie, she’s bound to make statements like that! “Oh, Pinkie, you’re so funny...”
I try to cock my head to the side and give her a grin of my own to find some sanity in all of this pink-inanity.
I, however, found something else. What is that something else, dear readers that Pinkconafirous Pienous was speaking of?
Pain. It was pain.
“Ffffet! Locks! What’s taking the doctors!? I hate to be a Marmalade about all this, but I’ve been waiting for over an hour!”
“Ooo! Ooo! That’s another kind thing I did!” Pinkie chimes.
“Huh?” I get why splints are meant as temporary solutions! All the jostling and tiny movements are causing the yarn, tape, sticks, and game parts to come just loose enough to be more aware of the state of my leg!
“Fluttershy made mention of you having trouble finding a good doctor!” She’s tapping her chin... again... and looking up. “So I took it upon myself to find one for you instead of them being procedurally generated for you! He’s perfect!” she does that head bobble and hoof on her fluffy chest again.
I take a sharp inhalation through my nose both to attempt to calm the pain and as a response to the idea of just what sort of doctor Pinkie Pie of all ponies would think would be ‘perfect’ for me.
... All I’m coming up with is ponified Robin Williams playing Patch Adams... Having trouble coming up with a good name... All that’s coming up to me is Patchie... Patch Up? Maybe... Whatever... Pinkie is starting to stare!
“Should I be ConCerNed?” Why am I even asking this?!
“Of course not! With Auntie Pinkie around, you’re in good hooves! I have a knack for these sorts of things and you have nothing to worry about!” She smiles and waggles her forehoof. “I picked out a doctor that’s well known, always smiling, can easily assure you that he knows what he ‘s doing, and most important he’s-”
“Competent, professional, experienced, uhm can make the sharp pain stop?”
“Funny!” Pinkie exclaims, throwing her hooves out. “And yeah, I’m sure he’s all those things too! I’m Pinkie Pie! You can trust me! Nothing can possibly go wrong!”
“Ha-a-a...” I feel like I should be ducking or seeking cover or something... I feel something on my shoulder, it’s Pinkie’s hoof and she is giving me those big puppy dog eyes.
“Can you at least give him a chance?” she asks all whimpery. “Cause how bad could he be?”
“Alright...” Son of a... biscuit... I forgot that she knows my weakness. “I’ll give him a chance... Because like you said ‘How bad could he be?’” Equestria hasn’t punished me... yet for all these questions. “I mean, one of these ponies has to be a good doctor, right?”
That’s when the sound of a hoof hitting the back of the double hospital doors reaches my ear, the pony that most likely Pinkie was talking up about trots through, and oh yeah... all my hopes in ever seeing a competent medical professional flatline with the squeaking of door hinges.
“Hiii, Everypony!” Is the call of a... Simpson's yellow stallion who has a black-green-blue mane and tail who reminds me of Dr. Nick from the very show that that hue of yellow is copyrighted to. On his chin is a goatee, and upper lip comes with those little lines that are meant to be a mustache. He stares at me wide, almost dead-I’m-trying-to-scam-you eyes and an equally over enthusiastic smile.
“Hi, Doctor Nickers!” Pinkie echoes as if she was an extra in the crowd...
=========
‘Alright, Pinkie! You for sure picked the right doctor for H.B.! He’s funny, he’s confident, he’s smart sounding! I’ve seen him on the T.- Hey, what’s that really negative feeling? Oh, my leg is crampy, left eye twitchy, and tail... tucky? That combo means ‘Disapproving mare!’’ Pinkie felt a snort of air, not particularly warm air, hit the side of her neck. ‘Oh! That’s where it’s coming from!’ her ears drooped. ‘Oh that’s where it’s coming from...’ the inner Pinkie repeated disheartenedly.
“Piiiinkie...” Heartbreak growled, her ears pinning back.
‘High levels of displeasure detected, Nurse Pie! What do we do, Doctor Pie?! Deploy tactical maneuvers and increase levels of enthusiasm!’
“What? He has a cheery smile and an infectious personality!”
“Oh, are you the pony known as Heartbreak?” Dr. Nickers asked. “I’ve heard many... things about you! Mostly about how well you can kick! I’m so sorry that this week has been so heartbreaking for you!”
The tan mare looked less than thrilled with the remark.
“Ha... Oh...” Dr. Nickers rubbed the back of his head before looking at his clipboard. “Oh! It says here that you might have a fractured foreleg! Hey, at least it’s not a heart attack!”
Heartbreak’s left eye visibly twitched.
“Uhm...” Dr. Nickers began to fumble on his words. “Oh! I guess that you’re going into the theater! Be-because you broke a leg... ha...ha...ha?”
Heartbreak frowned. “Excuse me, ‘Doctor’, I need to have a word with... one of my caregivers...”
“Oh... Uhm... Okie Dokie!” Dr. Nickers replied, backing away to the front desk. Nurse Biscotti didn’t seem to give him any warmer of a welcome.
“Piiinkie...” Heartbreak began.
“Yes, H.Beeees?” Pinkie replied, holding out hope.
“No,” Heartbreak hissed outside-eyeing Dr. Nickers.
Pinkie’s mane drooped and her lip quivered. “You said you’d give him a chance!”
Heartbreak rubbed her temple with her good hoof before pushing her glasses up once more. “Pinkamena Diane Pie...” she began in a hushed, growing tone. “He has a rubber duck wearing a thing that doctors wear...”
“A stethoscope?” Pinkie asked, looking at Dr. Nicker’s flank and then back at Heartbreakous Gripeous Major.
“Yes, but no...” she replied.
“A doctor’s white coat?”
“Yes, but no! The thing on their heads!”
“It’s called a head mirror!” Dr. Nickers interjected. “I think...” He looked at Nurse Biscotti and tapped on the table about something. Hot, who was unhappy at being interrupted from the book she was reading, rolled her eyes and nodded. “Alright! I was actually right this time! Yay for me!”
Heartbreak looked taken aback. “Look the point is, and maybe I shouldn’t judge seeing that the concept of translating what a cutie mark means is still very new to me, but! The important thing is that he has a Dr. Ducky cutie mark! You know what that means right?!”
“Dr. Ducky is what the Dean called me at Bovine University!” Dr. Nickers said without a mote of irony in his voice.
Heartbreak pushed her glasses up and rubbed the bridge of her nose. “I swear, If we were anywhere but Equestria...”
“It meeeans... He knows how to quack you up!” Pinkie replied, a massive hopeful grin on her face as she swung her forehooves in right angles.
“Nooo... What it means is that he’s a quack!” Heartbreak lambasted.
Dr. Nickers looked saddened but tried to smile through it all. “That’s not true! I also sell snake oil!”
Heartbreak continued to look unimpressed.
“Hey! Nopony likes an unoiled snake! You can ask my many satisfied customers like Trot McColt!” Dr. Nickers beamed.
Heartbreak took a massive breath through her nose and looked over at Pinkie Pie again, her eyes narrowing.
Pinkie’s lip quivered. “You said you’d give him a chance!” she repeated, trying her hardest to keep smiling. “Besides you don’t know how good-”
“Or bad...” Heartbreak muttered.
“... or bad... he might be!” Pinkie crossed her hooves. “Who knows? He just might be your new favorite doctor to make you feel just... ducky!” she said, throwing up her hooves.
Heartbreak groaned at the pun. “My favorite new doctor? Did you also pick out my favorite nurse, Robin Goodfilly with a large hypodermic needle?!” she asked with all the sarcasm she could muster.
“H.B. I’m shocked!” Pinkie pie’ed at the tan mare. “How’d you guess!?”
“Wait, what?” Heartbreak asked, before a ‘poink!’ sound entered her ears, followed by a sharp sensation in her near hind.
“Love you too, My Little Heartbreak!” giggled that all too familiar impish voice in her ear.
Heartbreak’s head snapped to the right, spotting the offending nurse as she pulled a needle out, covering her mouth as she snickered.
“Gooodfilly!” Heartbreak snarled. Just then, her head pounded and the room felt off kilter, she spun back around, the room seemingly coming along for the ride! “Whaaaaat wasss thaaa-” she sloshed, glaring at the still grinning Dr. Nickers.
“Oh. Ha-ha, don’t worry. That was just a pain killer that is also a sedative!” He explained, scritching his chin. “Ceazetawlam! Whose side effects may include, uhm,” he picked the packaging from the nearby waste bin. “Sweating, nausea, diarrhea, itching burning, pony galliagar syndrome, and in super ultra extremely rare cases: moderate to severe hallucinations!
=========
After the sharp pricking of my hind, something wicked this way ... I find?
What that doesn’t make sense!
‘Dr.’, and I use that term in the absolute loosest way possible..., Nicker! Dr. Nicker! Starts sounding... long.
“Aaaaannnnd In...suuuperrr, uuuultrrraaa verrrryyy ExxxTrEEEmelLly RaRe Caaaasessss, ModaaaraAte Toooooo SeVere HaaaaluuuciiinaAAatioooonssss!”
Ugh! Not only is his face melting, but he was talking for so long that I did not understand that, I got bored!
Oh great, now the walls are melting, and the floor tiles are multiplying to the point that I can’t count them with my eyes. Wait, the walls are melting?! What’s Happening?!
“You, my little Heartbreak... are tripping balls!” Begins... a voice that is on the cusp of sounding familiar, it has a dance... No! That’s not the word, a cad... dance? NO! A Cadence! Yes, that’s ringing a bell in my... watchtower? No! Mind! It sounds like... valley girl meets mad mare with a twist of... of... uhm...
“The Golden apples of Hoofperides!?” Turning, turning, turning, sweet fetting Gaia! Why am I still turning to see... Nurse Goodfilly? Though she looks... different... her black mane is flowing with white, her body stretching as she moves and I swear there’s some jaundice in her sclera... sclera... such a silly word!
"O! O! O! What's happening to my little ☟︎♏︎♋︎❒︎⧫︎♌︎❒︎♏︎♋︎🙵 now?!" Wingdings... Pinkie? But not Pinkie as her ears have gone floppy, her tongue is hanging from her mouth, and her eyes are white and as large as teacups! Wait, that's normal... her tail is wagging about, wait that's normal... something is off!
"Test subject 2748 is experiencing hallucinations." Dr. Nickers face morphs... into a human one... his mane and tail grow darker and curly the duck on his flank tosses off the head mirror, puts on a crown and uses a wing to toss a golden following coif of hair.
She's staring at me with intense intimidating silvery eyes...
"Steady thine hand, and abade thy desire for morbid curiosities regarding thine experimentation, Warp." She... Yes, the cutie mark duck sounds like a she... says, plucking out yellow feathers and then sticking them behind not-Pinkie's ear and a Dr. Nickers who's looking more and more... like... my exe Doug?
I stumble as I feel my forehooves slipping... my left hoof pulses and under the cover I see my fingers are trapped, but my right hoof stretches and pulls out into... an old fountain pen?! I push it up on one of the black tiles, only for it to turn out to be an inkwell! I have to tug my pen... my leg out before it sinks in! There! Oh... weird... a puddle of rainbow ink flows out in the shape of a broken heart...
The warped white maned, snaggle-toothed, that are short- long... No! Short hoof... hand!! For this character creature feature is sinister, slips behind me her twisted twisting hooves on my shoulders, Ugh! So many tiny hooves!!! She blows at the feathers, duck queen... queen duck? Is plucking out.
"Careful with those!" she shrieks, her words jumbling together like a car crash... "They can kill, you know!" Her hoof noodles then relaxed and she let out a garish chuckle. "Oh silly me, those are yellow duck feathers, not yellow chicken feathers!" She grabs my face. "I should have known, that's no swan of the sun!"
"Not real... it's... not real..." It's not, right? I shouldn't be hall Jordan- hallucinating this fast off something given to me by a doctor just injected me with! I need to break from this! "Not real?"
"Not real?" Dr. Doug asks in a steely cold tone, his doctor's coat turning black with green trim. "Not real like the love you had for me?"
"Or meeeee?" Not Pinkie's voice sounds like... Kylie's... her hooves look more like paws, she looks like what you'd get if ya crossed a Pinkie Pie with a diamond dog. She holds up a paw with a mini... me? No wait, I'm in the paw and they're towering over me! Long strings attached to my limbs and body parts!
"Just an experiment..." Dr. Doug's voice booms, rattling me out of the paw and falling back to the floor! There's a new needle with a glowing neon green liquid held on his hoof, the top dripping... "Maybe I should experiment on you by tearing off your face so that you'll be forced to watch as I rip out your heart and break it over and over!"
"Ssstay a-away!" The words come out like little pink rabbits and cower in a corner. I hate them. They don't sound like me anymore. They sound like scared little girls.
"That's because that's what they are! What they always have been!" Doug jeers, the needle no longer dripping, but now morphing. "A shame too. If you were still a strong, handsome, hung stallion, there would be so much we could do together! But as it stands, you're only good for dissection!"
Kylie Pie's paw morphs into one of those pans used to hold starfish, clams, or frogs in a high school biology lab, her claws turning into pins to hold me down, that needle melts into a... scalpel.. no, the scalpel... the very same blade that was used to sever my connection, my tires to my home!
"Let's continue this experiment by cutting the test subject open and seeing what makes them tick..." Doug's big greasy smiling head says...
"Yaaaaaaaay!" Pinkylie cheers!
The knife is coming towards my chest and I'm trying to close my eyes and embrace myself for what's to come...
When suddenly and without warning there's a flash of highlighter bright pink and black in front of my face.
One of those aforementioned bright pink bunnies has hopped in front of the mercurial blade and is holding it at bay!
"You... stupid... FUckER!" She growls, growing in stature... clothes painting themselves on her frame as she anthropomorphizes. "Even in your stupid hallucinations you're just willing to go and give up?! You forget about what happened with Mi and Yu!?"
Suddenly, I’m just beside myself... I’m a two headed pony thing Mi is looking at Yu and Yu is looking at Mi! Then Goth Bunny slaps us back together!
She rips Kylie's hand off me and tosses me out of the pan and onto the floor. The blade tries to come back down, but she smacks it away and turns to me, a mad march hare glare in her eyes, she throws a clawed finger up at Doug.
"You stupid fucking nag, even I don't talk this way to you! He's one of the reasons you're in this mess!" she screams.
I turn away from her, she too isn't real, just... some... thing... I created to punish myself...
"I hurt them... I deserve this..." The words taste bitter and are like metal on my teeth.
She frowns and slaps her face, the claws dragging down leaving scars that turn yellow and quickly heal. She then slaps both of her hands on either side of my face.
"Listen here, you idiot sandwich! I am more than happy to say that you deserve to feel bad, but that fucker... that mother fetter should not have reacted in the way that he did!" She points back at the fake big headed Doug on a pony body that's attempting to bring that knife back down.
Meanwhile, Kylie Pie has pulled an animatronic Pinkie out of a box and is giggling while wagging it at me. Eris Goodfilly is off in a corner, there's a long dagger like yellow feather in her back, her body is turning gray like stone. Celestia in a a picture stares down at me, red marbles taunting me, her tears are falling... why is she crying and are those the binding rings of a sketchbook and the edges of paper?!
There's too much going on! I can't keep up!
Goth Bunny shakes my attention back to her. "You might have ghosted him, which was wrong and a suck thing to do, but he ejected you from the universe! Cosmic banishment is not a love language! And another thi-"
Suddenly, her words are cut off and I see why: she's doing an impression of lucario with a massive metal spike going through her chest.
Fake Doug just... grins at me holding the scalpel that’s now dripping fearful yellow blood, while Goth Bunny gapes and squeezes her eyes in disbelief. She breaks apart into billions of smaller bright pink rabbits that spill all over me...
"G.B.!" That's when the anger hits me. Yes, she's just an imaginary voice in my head, but she's my imaginary voice in my head!
Hurt me all you want, but don't you dare hurt others because of me!
I rush at that imitation Doug and start screaming!
"I'M GONNA GELD YOU!"
That's when the words and everything goes long again...
"Tiiiiime foooorrr aaaaa booooossster!"
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That pokey was no jokey and now they belong to in the hokey.
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AND YOU TURN YOURSELF AROUND, THAT'S WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT.
Will the next funny doctor be a griffon with the eye of a hawk? A Hawkeye even?
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I hope not. What'cha think of the ART!?