Vending Machine Pralines
Chapter 26: Vending Machine Pralines
Cream Puff was a super happy little filly at the moment as she practically skipped by the side of her favorite reading mare.
Yes, the mighty summer sun beamed brightly, the sky was fairly clear, save for a few oddly dark clouds in the direction of Sweet Apple Acres and everything was looking up, up, up!
‘Especially with that there Applejack tryin’ ta hone in on Ma Hear-er H.B. gone back home,’ she thought with a bitter tone. ‘Who does she think she is anyhow, huh?! Well over the age ta be adopted, that’s fer sure! An’ besides, she’s not even a real orphan!’ Just then she noticed the lather falling from Heartbreak’s pollock. “Ya want sumthin’ ta drink there, Mi-er, H.B.?” ‘Ugh! Why do Ah keep almost messin’ that up!?’
Heartbreak took a deep breath, and with her unbandaged leg she wiped the sweat off her brow. “I suppose I’d be somethin’ of a hypocrite if I didn’t take a drink of something offered to me after practically chewing Applejack out like that... Not to mention the fact that being nearly roasted alive by fire ants surprisingly worked up a thirst...”
“Din’t Miss Applejack offer ya anythin’ ta drink?” Cream Puff asked, though worry and concern were presented on her face. Internally, the little filly was smirking. After all, now she could be the one to help with all of that!
“She did have some apple cider ready for my visit... Apparently...” Heartbreak said, grumbly before smacking her parched lips. “But that was used to... secure? Contain? Protect?” She mused, snickering at some unseen joke.
“Big Mac used it to freeze the fire ants...” Fluttershy quietly interjected while looking back at the farm fretfully. “Oh, I really hope that the poor creatures are alright!”
Cream Puff could only stare at the two mares in bewilderment as she hoofed around in her saddlebags for the refreshments she had purchased from the ponyville market with what few bits she had. ‘Then again, maybe they’re sufferin’ from- Ah shoot, what little White Eyes call it again? Shock? Adult ponies sure do get all strange when sum’thin’ bad happens... Hold a tic...’ “How in tarnation did he go about and freeze them there fire ants?!”
“Well, he used the apple cider that Applejack was going to offer us to drench them,” Heartbreak said, smacking her lips as a juice box with a conveniently placed straw in the top was put before her. She proceeded to sniff at said straw, as to gain some insight as to the contents. “And then, there was the icewood crate that exploded... and caused everything to freeze them all? It happened really fast.”
“Ah guess that makes sense.” Cream Puff said, watching a bit of confusion, and sweat trickle over Heartbreak’s face. “It’s Strawberry Lemonade!” She beamed. “Ah got it from the new place that just popped up the other day!” She tapped her chin thoughtfully. “Ah think it’s called the ‘Strawberry-Sweets Shake Shack!’ Ma Momma would say it is quite the mouthful, but they do have the best lemonade. Ah mean, other than ma’s...” She trailed off for a moment before a gentle gust in her curly little mane reminded her that it wasn’t just her and Heartbreak.
“Ah’m sorr’eh there, Miss Fluttershy,” She said. “Would ya like one too?”
“Oh...” Fluttershy said looking thoughtful for a moment. “Uhm, yes, please. If you don’t mind, and if there’s enough for all of us...”
“Of course there is!” Cream Puff said offering up another juice box that if she was being honest with herself, she really wanted to leave in Heartbreak’s fridge. Just in case she was thirsty later... or if somepony happened to drop by for a visit. But... “As ma momma always said, ‘If ya are hafin’ the chosin’ ta give, then best ya be chosin’ ta give!”
“Your mom said that?” Heartbreak asked. She let out a satisfied gasp before attempting to suck down what remained in her juice box.
“Eeeeyup!” Cream Puff relied, taking a drink from her juice.
“Oooh,” Heartbreak practically crooned. “That’s really nice and cold...”
“Oh! Don’t drink it so fast” Fluttershy warned. “Otherwise you’ll get-”
Heartbreak’s face suddenly scrunched up painfully as her right hoof practically dove to her temple and a sharp hiss escaped from between her teeth.
“Too late...” Cream Puff whimpered. “Head chills...”
“If you mean ‘brainfreeze’, then yes..” Heartbreak said, visibly pushing through the pain. “Wow, did not expect it to be that cold!”
“Ah got special saddlebags!” Cream Puff piped. “They ain’t anythin’ fancy like an ice wood crate, but they do the job. Cause momma always said, ‘Ya gotta keep the hot thing’s hot an’ the cold things cold!” She looked at Heartbreak, who she was sure to be impressed by such a quick witted idea of hers, only to see that the pony was still in pain. “Uhm... Just be glad ya didn’t get the-”
“Hic!” Heartbreak interrupted.
“Hiccups...” She finished.
“Yeah... hic! Thank you, Cream Puff...” Heartbreak said, her face still twisted and hoof still rubbing her temple. “Thank hic! You so much for hic! Pointing that hic! ...out.”
“Ah’m sorr’eh there H.B...” Cream Puff whimpered. “Ah shoulda’-”
“It’s fine, Cream Puff,” Heartbreak said, adjusting her glasses. She then took a deep breath and held it for a few seconds only to be shook by another hiccuping noise.
“Are ya sure? Yer not mad are ya?” Cream Puff asked, her little eyes welling up.
Heartbreak let out a gasp. “Put those away,” she said with an uncomfortable light chuckle and then a surprise hiccup. She rolled her eyes. “It’s fine.”
“Are ya sure?” Cream Puff repeated, swearing that she could still detect the barest irritation in Heartbreak’s voice.
Heartbreak sighed and before Cream Puff could say a word, she craned her head down so that she was face to face with the little filly. She then crossed her eyes and let out a goofy sounding hic!
Cream Puff was so caught off guard by this, that she couldn’t help but let out an unexpected giggling fit!
“Yes, I’m sure, Cream Puff,” Heartbreak said, lifting her head back up and blinking. “It’s my own fff-...uhm.. Fault! Hic! My own fault for drinking it so fast.” Her face then crinkled and squirmed before she glared at her leg, a hoof seemingly involuntarily attempting to go to the bandaged spot.
“We should get to the hospital if it’s still hurting...” Fluttershy said, a soft anxious tone to her voice.
“It’s more... Itchy than hurty if anything, but yeaaah... we really oughta get to the hospital,” Heartbreak said. “Uhm, thanks for the drinks, Cream Puff.”
“Yer welcome, H.B!” Cream Puff replied, sniffing a little bit afterwards before picking up the now emptied juice boxes and placing them in her saddlebags for later disposal. “Goin’ ta the hospital! Goin’ ta the hospital! Gon’ ta the hospital!” she sang as she began to skip forward.
“Heeeh... Ha... Yeeyup,” Heartbreak said gruffly under her breath with a fretful Fluttershy in tow.
=========
After a semi-awkward silence between Fluttershy and myself, a silence that was mostly maintained via Cream Puff’s near incessant need to hop-skip-jump and sing. We’re finally at the hospital, again.
A part of me, albeit a small part, almost wanted to join in the ridiculous little song of hers.
It was nothing special, just a little ditty about going to the hospital that felt like it had the tune of ‘Peaches’
or was that song just called ‘Going to the Country, Gonna Eat Me Some Peaches’?
‘Pffft, whatever, you’ll never know for sure, seeing that you lack an internet connection.’
Shut it, Goth Bunny.
Like I was telling nop- noone in particular, there was a small part that wanted to join in that song. I, however, did not.
Between those nervous glances from Fluttershy, the heavy sick feeling from what happened with Applejack and her family, coupled with the ever stinging sensation practically plaguing my... leg... it really should be my arm, but honestly it looks like a leg... that tiny part of me that wanted to join in what is such a pony banality of life that i’m sure some random mare who knows how many years in the future is singing about looking out for her fffr-
“H.B.?” Comes Cream Puff’s sacrinely sweet southern sounding drawl.
“Huh?” A mix of startled confusion tumbles from my mouth as my eyes refocus on just where I am.
The hospital is a bustle with activity more so than it was yesterday, methinks. Random ponies, many whose coats, manes, and marks I recognize, but whose names are escaping me at the moment are here.
“Ya okay, there, H.B.?” She asks, her voice having no problem to be heard over all of the chattering.
“Y-yeah,” Fe- Fuck! Fuck. That sounded really distant! “I... I’m not really good with large crowds sometimes..” Just then, Fluttershy’s ears seem to flick forward and swivel in my direction before her eyes widen ever so much. “Uhm... Somethin’ wrong?” Fet, I mean Fuck! Gah! That question had a lot more country sound than I wanted it to! “I have mentioned I’m not all that great with crowds before, right?” Clumsy questions are clumsy.
“Oh.. y-yes...” She says in a classic Flutterpated... Should ‘Flutterpated’ be the proper pony pun here? Pfffft! What. Ever. Stop mulling on this. It’s classic Fluttershy. “I-it’s just...” she trails off in a small high whimper.
“I-it’s just what?” Great. First, I was Appleja-... sounding like A.J. Now I’m ‘Fluttershying’.
“It’s...” She leans over, her mouth really close to my ear. “I kind of need to use the..” She looks up, this time subtly pointing at a sign in the hall indicating the direction of the-
“Bathroom...” I murmur. “Right, okay- ohana tsunemi...” She and Cream Puff tilt their heads at me as I was speaking another language. Which, I actually am. “Uhm... it means ‘I’m going to pick flowers’ in another language. I told you that before, didn’t I, Fluttershy?”
“Maybe?” She replies in an antsy sounding voice. Is she seriously silently asking me permission to use the bathroom?!
“If you need to go... Go... I’ll be fine.”
“Are you sure?” she asks hesitantly. “Didn’t you say that you’re not good with large crowds?”
Wow, didn’t expect that to bite me in the backside so soon...
“I’ll be fine as long as you don’t take too long.” I reply, kicking my hooves over the edge of the bench that we were able to procure. “After all, Cream Puff is here.”
“Yeah!” Cream Puff exclaims, standing up on her hind legs, her forelegs abow, while breaking her silence. (not sure about that sentence) “Thar’s no need ta worry, Missus Fluttershy, because...” She pauses, maybe for dramatic effect, but more than likely because she’s about to lose her balance. “Ah am here!”
With that little outburst, she starts to take a tumble as she fully loses her balance.
A tumble that my brain slows down and calculates the trajectory, and then simulates the situation, which would then give me the results. The result was that it seems that this poor, unfortunate little filly will once again make contact with that fetting branding of mine.
As this slow motion event begins to unfold in front of me, I swear I can see the literal moment where the white cracks in that back broken heart split open to form a crude cruel wicked looking smile.
‘Can’t move out of the way in time!’ I feel a lump in my throat as I lift my hind legs up and turn ninety degrees. ‘Gonna have to bite the bullet on this if we don’t want a repeat of what happened in the library! Brace for impact!’
=========
Cream Puff felt her head fall into something soft, squishy, and maybe a bit... familiar?
It felt like how her momma would hold her in her lap while reading just before bedtime.
‘All that’s missin’ is a hot coco an whatever fancy smellin’ cologne papa would be wearin’ She thought happily smiling.
“Cream Puff?” A voice like a chill came. “Cream Puff?” It repeated. “Cream. Puff.” It sliced like a cold wind.
“Huh?!” the little filly gasped, her eyes snapping open to be greeted with Heartbreaks’ rather stressed rather... embarrassed? Bespeckled upside-down face. “Oh.. Heh, Uhm... Hi, Mi-Uhm, H.B.”
“Hi.” She said, curtly. “Are you alright?”
“Oh... Uh-hu!” Cream Puff said.
Heartbreak took a deep breath and pushed her glasses up. “Good to hear. Now, can you please get off of my lap?” she asked.
“Oh... uhm... Sorreh...” She meekly said before struggling to push herself up, head pressed up against Heartbreak’s stomach. “Heh, yer pretty soft and squishy there, M- H.B.!”
“Uhm.. Thanks?” Heartbreak said questioningly before looking at her stomach and in a moment of insecurity repositioning herself, once the filly had righted herself, into a more pony-like posture, with her belly not so exposed to the waiting room.
“Aww.. Ah din’t mean anythin’ by it, H.B.!” Cream Puff said sheepishly crawling towards Heartbreak until her front hooves tentatively, were perpendicular, almost daring to crosshatch with the much larger tan for legs.
Heartbreak took a deep breath through her nose and fought the urge to roll her eyes as she became acutely aware that some of the other ponies had begun to gawk at the spectacle that had just unfolded before them. “It’s fine, Cream Puff. Everything is fine,” she said, slightly tilting her head to the side. “Don’t you need to use the restroom?” she asked Fluttershy, noticing that she was still standing nearby and not already rushed to take care of her needs.
“Oh! Yes!” She said, fluttering up a couple of feet into the air before slowly and a bit shamefully landing back down due to the pony at the front desk stern glare and pointing out of a ‘Please refrain from flying inside the hospital.’ sign. “Oh.. S-sorry.” Fluttershy said, turning towards the bathrooms. “Ohana tsumene?”
“Uh... yeah. That sounds about right,” Heartbreak replied, scratching her head, pleasantly taken aback at Fluttershy’s quick possible adoption of this phrase. “See you when you get back- And please don’t take too long.”
“Oh.. Hopefully I won’t!” Fluttershy said, now hurriedly making her way down the hall and around the corner.
=========
Turning the corner at a quick, but not too quick trot, Fluttershy made her way down the hallway in the general direction of the public restrooms.
She slowed past the two doors with their pictograms denoting which was for stallions and which was for mares, only to shamefully drop her head a little, whilst (meekly) whimpering a little apology to the pair, who if they were a real couple, would sure to being judgemental about her being this deceptive in her actions.
“I’m sorry! I don’t want to be misleading to her, it’s just with everything that’s happened, I don’t want her to worry or fret anymore than she already is..” Fluttershy quietly said in the surprisingly vacant corridor before moving closer to her true destination. She paused to momentarily side glance at the black silhouette of the filly. “Uhm, maybe after I get back, sorry! Again!”
Frantically she attempted to peer into the room in search of the flash of color that she swore she had seen being carted in a wheelchair down that bland corridor.
“What if I didn’t see her?” Fluttershy questioned herself. “What if these ponies think that I’m trying to intrude on them? What if it was some other pony with a slightly similar rainbow ma-”
“Hey! Come on! I told you that I could do this part myself!” Protested the almost husky, self-assured, apt irritated, unmistakeable, tomcolt voice that rescued Fluttershy from the anxiety ridden quagmire of her own thoughts.
Darting towards the voice, Fluttershy was greeted with a somewhat distressing though familiar sight when peering into the room marked one-four-four.
“Miss Dash! Please hold still!” A blue-eyed, dark caramel coated nurse pony with a frazzled messy mane exclaimed. “This is your final day of recuperation and it wouldn’t hurt to-”
Just then Fluttershy made her presence known with the small clearing of her throat and the barest whisper of “Excuse me?”
Rainbow Dash’s wine coloured eyes lit up at the sight of her friend before a trickle of worry entered her expression. Before she could speak however, a white fluffy hospital towel covered her mane and face. “Hey! I told you that I could do that myself!” she shouted as one of her wings swatted at the nurse, muzzle peeking out from under the cloudy mass.
“Fine,” the nurse said curtly before picking up a clipboard, almost fumbling it, no doubt due to the stress put on her by her patient. “I-I’ll just check your stats, just to see if you’re actually ready to be discharged.” she said, picking up a pencil in her mouth.
“Finally, yeah...” Rainbow Dash replied gruffly. “So, hey, Fluttershy. What brings you here?”
“Well-”
“Oh! Fluttershy!” Interrupted a familiar almost melodious voice from the hallway.
Fluttershy eeped in surprise, almost jumping up before she recognized the voice. “Oh, h-hello, Robin. How are you doing?”
“Oh, you know...” Nurse Robin Goodfilly began, almost nervously looking around. “Same old, same old all while trying to avoid the higher ups...”
“You’re trying to avoid Nurse Redheart?” Fluttershy asked. “She isn’t still upset with you for not returning that book you borrowed yesterday, is she?”
“Well.. Heh..” Robin guffawed.
Just then, the three ponies jumped a little as an angry splintery snap of a pencil wood loudly cracked through the room.
“Nurse Robin Goodfilly...” The nurse that had been attending to Rainbow Dash said with a sweetness that masked some hostility of unknown origin. “You still have... that book?” She asked before spitting out the eraser side of the pencil that had been in her mouth.
“Oh! Nuuuurse... Hot Biscotti!” Robin exclaimed after a moment of searching her memory vault for the name. “I didn’t see you there! And no...” she said with a giggle. “I’ve returned it...”
“Then what’s that in your saddlebag?” Biscotti asked in an accusatory tone.
“This?” Robin asked, feigning innocence. “Oh... this is a different book!”
“Really?” Hot Biscotti asked coyly, approaching the light gray mare with amber eyes and black mane. “Then you wouldn’t mind if I took a look and even return it to her if it is-”
“Oh, would you look at the time!” Nurse Goodfilly said anxiously. “I’m afraid I forgot about a patient that needs tending to!”
“Oh, and who would that be?” Hot Biscotti asked, her eyes narrowing like a cat who had cornered their prey as she tried ever so delicately to slide past Fluttershy.
“Oh, you wouldn’t know them.. Or if you did, you wouldn’t remember them...” Goodfilly replied playfully waving a hoof and placing fluttershy between herself and the encroaching mare a bit better. “Little Precious in room one-zero-three? Dealt with a concussion due to running into another pony and a cut on their front leg from glass! Have to give them their pill! TTFN!”
With that, Nurse Robin Goodfilly darted down the hall, giggling as she went.
“Why, you!” Nurse Hot Biscotti exclaimed, attempting to awkwardly reach over Fluttershy. “Uhm... Could you excuse me, please?” She frazzelledly asked, her mane was set acurl.
“Oh! Yes... sorry...” Fluttershy apologetically squeaked, scooching out of the way to let the nurse pass by.
“Hey!” Rainbow Dash hollered out, causing the already stressed nurse to halt midway through preparation in giving chase. “What about me?”
“W-what about you?” Hot Biscotti asked, pushing a hoof up the bridge of her muzzle and bobbing her head back and forth to peer down the hall.
“Ugh! Am I good to go tomorrow or not?” Rainbow Dash asked grippingly.
“Oh.. Oh yeah! You’re fine!” Hot Biscotti answered, shaking her head as if she just remembered something. “I’ll make sure that Doctor... uhm...Doctor... Doctor Stable! Yeah, Doctor Stable knows that you’re ready for discharge tomorrow.” She said, hoof clip-clopping on the floor in frustration. “Now. Excuse me!” And with that, she proceeded to give chase down the hall after Nurse Goodfilly.
“What do you think that was about?” Rainbow Dash asked after the dust had settled.
“I-I don’t know,” Fluttershy said. “I think that the nurses might be trying to get a book back from Robin. She borrowed it from Nurse Redheart...” She said, kicking her front hoof against the ground as she came into the room. “At least, that’s what I think is going on..”
“Huh...” Rainbow Dash proceeded to ball up the dampened towel and hoof it into a laundry basket opposite the end of her bed. “Score!” She gleefully cheered to herself as it went into its intended goal. “Must be a really good book if they are trying that hard to get it back.”
“I-I don’t know...” Fluttershy replied, her voice starting to go a bit quiet.
“So, what’s up?” Rainbow Dash asked, looking at her friend. “What’s going on in Ponyville? What’s happening?”
“Well…” Fluttershy said, disconnectedly as her large forelock was starting to cover her face while she began looking more towards the cold, tiled, hospital floor. “I, uhm... well...” She began, her words dwindling into worried murmurings...
Rainbow Dash sighed, having been friends for so long, she knew a ‘flutterproblem’ when she saw one. “Alright. Spill it. What’s wrong?”
“O-oh! Nothing!” Fluttershy insisted, snapping to attention the moment the question was asked of her.
“Nothing?” Rainbow Dash asked incredulously, crossing her front hooves.
“Nothing important... well-” Fluttershy stopped herself mid sentence. “No, I mean, it’s not so important that it can’t wait until tomorrow when I’m visiting again.”
“When you’re visiting again?” Rainbow Dash asked the concern in her voice on the rise now. “Wait, you’re not here because something’s going on with you, are you?”
“Oh no, no. I’m not the one here to be treated,” Fluttershy said with an almost immediate pang of regret of what she had just said, causing her to flinch visibly.
“Fluttershy...” Rainbow Dash started fighting an irritated gruffness in her voice. ‘Come on, your friend needs you!’ “We’ve known each other since Junior Speedsters Flight Camp? If something’s wrong, you can tell me!” she rubbed the back of her head. “Plus, I’ve kinda run out of reading material and kinda want to know what’s going on out there...”
“A-alright..” Fluttershy said, raising her head and smiling. ‘Rainbow Dash isn’t the best listener, but she is a good friend.’ She thought, taking a rather deep breath. “It all started almost two weeks ago when I found out that H.B. had gotten really, really, really sick-”
==========
There’s a spike of anxiety and worry threatening the back of my psyche as I watch Fluttershy trot down the hall and turn the corner.
“When ya gotta go, ya gotta go.” I tell myself in an attempt to ease those frayed nerves. Unsurprisingly, it does very little to act as a balm for my troubled mind. Then again, why should I be troubled at all? I mean, it's not like you found out that your mane and tail do weird symbiote like things when you get all cheezed off, where mistaken for Applejack’s long dead mother, and then you were attacked by fet-Fucking literal fire ants all in the same afternoon! Nooo, that didn’t hap-
“H.B.?”
“Huh?” I ask, a sudden sharp inhalation accompanies Cream Puff giving me the gentlest of nudges to my side.
“Sorreh!” She exclaims, pulling back a little.
“I-it’s ok, Cream Puff.” Calm that voice of yours, try to sound as reassuring as you can, H.B... “I just think that the shock of everything that’s happened today is finally wearing thin and catching up with me...” To illustrate this, I hold out my un-coltucky fried front leg. There’s a visible trembling going on.
“That ain’t cause of that there ‘shakey hoof’ syyn-dome yer where tellin’ us about, is it?” Cream Puff asks inquizably.
“Nooo,” I chuckle. Can’t blame her for thinking that. After all, there is nothing that Equestria likes more than a good literal horse pun! “That condition makes it so that I can’t hold things with my hooves.”
“Oh, yeeeeah..” she replies, nodding.
“Like I said, this is most likely ‘cause the shock is wearing off, the stress of everything-” Suddenly, the little filly carefully glomps onto my shoulder! “Eeep! Cream Puff!”
“Ah’m bein’ careful!” she protests. “Ah remember yer scars... Those still hurt?” she asks, peeking back at my flank.
“Yeah...There was, uhm, some ... nerve damage when that happened...” Yeah that sounds plausible. Note to self: Write these things down to keep track of them. I look over at the hall. How long has Fluttershy been gone? It feels like forever.. Looking up at the clock, I realize it’s only been a few minutes... Still, I feel like I could really use somep..pony...or something to distract Cream Puff or at the very least stop her from asking any more quest-
Just then my stomach interrupts with a massive growl of discomfort.
Cream Puff eyes my stomach before giving me a questioning look. “Ya have eaten taday, haven’t ya?” She asks in an almost practiced way, as if she’s had to ask this question of somep-one else many times before.
“Heh, yes. Fluttershy made me breakfast...” She gives me an incredulous worried stare. Fet, what time is it again? Clock on the wall says... fifteen minutes to three?! ”Buuut... I suppose that was a while ago...”
“Good thang Ah still got the muffins Ah brought fer ya!” She exclaims.
“Y-yeah,” Fet, am I even in the mood for a muffin? I mean, Cream Puffs’... bakery goods are on point. But after all the running, panicking, screaming and overall stress, I could go for something comfortingly.. Salty.. Oily... savory? And I dare say, though I wouldn’t want her to hear this... unwholesome? Too bad I haven’t seen any-
*Ker-clunk! Whirrrrrrrr!*
I crane my neck past those seated on this hospital bench because I swear, that sounded like the inner machinations of a-
“Vending machine!” Cut to the high pitched voice of a little fil-no wait, not a filly. Her muzzle doesn’t look right, her coat is a shade of gray that I have not seen on ponies before, and there is a touch of fur around her eyes that is too... light... the tips of her all too long ears have a dabble of darker gray on them, the tips of her hooves are more the color of slate. Though what really stands out is her tail; long and furless save for the tip that has a small floof like a paintbrush. That’s a donkey! So... jenny, that’s a jenny, and nesk to her is a much taller, more mature jack. Can’t be much older than her though... so... brother? Cousin? Uncle? Whatever. What really matters is that they are both standing at the exact machine that I had just been pining for!
“Yeah? So?” the jack asks.
“So! You are getting the most expensive stuff! Auntie Matty said that we have to shaaare, so come on Jimsy! Let me get something too!” She protests, stomping a little hoof, causing those... to be frank... staggeringly long ears to flip up before coming back down, their tips just resting on the floor.
“Come on, Flipsy... Pecan pralines aren’t that expensive...” Comes the reply from the somewhat fluffy, blue-eyed ‘Jimsy’.
“H.B.!”
“Gah!” Turning to the source of this (seemingly) sudden intrusion, I see the large golden-sad doe-eyed expression of Cream Puff as she’s almost cautiously offering up a rather tasty, apt, crumpled looking black seed dotted muffin.
“Ya do want a muffin , don’t ya?”
“W-well...” Ffffe-FUCK! Fuuuuuuck! Super sad filly face! Super sad filly face!
Just then, Jimsy and I presume ‘Flipsy’ trot on by with their ill begotten? No, that’s not the word, though it sounds right for some reason... their vending machine treasures. (Yeah, that’s it.) Vending machine treasures, dangling out of their mouths by the tip of the packaging.
As Flipsy passes, she pauses when she sees me, before smiling, and giving an altogether too cute wave with her little hoof.
There’s a really odd sense of ... familiarity when she does this... Almost like I’ve seen her somewhere before... But I can’t recall where... Hesitantly, I give a little wave back.
“Flipsy! Stop pestering the ponies and come on! We can’t keep Aunt Matty waiting!” Jimsy calls out.
“Oh! I’m coming, Jimsy!” The little jenny rings back, her ears dragging on the floor as she struggles to catch up.
“Do... ya know her?” Cream Puff asks once the two of them are out of sight.
“I...” It’s weird, I’m getting the feeling that I may have met her somewhere.. But... “Don’t know... Maybe she’s seen me somewhere before...”
“Well,” Cream Puff begins, a small huff in her voice. “Do ya want the muffin or not?” she once again asks, almost shoving the mound of merrygold-coloured muffin matter at me.
“I-” FFFFFuck! We're back to this! I really want some pralines if there are any left! But how am I going to do that without crushing Cream Puff’s feelings?!
Jussst be honessst with her... AppleJack’s voice hisses out of the void.
‘I really need to start applying some of those lessons if I ever want to give the others, well... the six of them, the impression that I’m actually taking these things to heart...’
“I-it’s not that I don’t want your muffin...” Ugh... There’s a terrible itch on the back of my neck... Feels like a small cold sensation, a quick scratch and it’s gone... Wait, what are those round things- oh wait, those are the croaky beads on my glasses. Right, invisible. Fe-Uck, her face is starting to crumple. “It’s just that... uhm... well, maybe I can save it for later and see what’s in the vending machine over there...”
Her face goes from crinkling with sadness to wrinkling with disbelief and maybe a bit of repulsion.
“Vending machine grub?” She asks with a harshness so sharp, I swear that the muffins in her hooves should have split in twain.
“Well, I overheard that donkey... I think their name was ... Jimsy.. Saying that there were pecan pralines in there..”
“Pecan pralines?” She shakes her head in disbelief. “Bless yer heart, H.B., but from a vending machine? Everypony knows that pralines are best fresh an’ hot! Fet! Ah could make ya better than anythin’ comin’ outta a machine!”
Son of a birt-Bitch How am I going to- wait, I have an idea...
“I bet you could.. But...” Careful, Heart-H.B.! H.B.! Be careful with your words here!
“But?” She asks, insecurtly splashing in her adorably chubby-ish little face.
“But what if we bought some of the vending machine pralines to compare yours to? To prove that yours are the best of the best?” Alright, appealing to her ego based on that one argument with A.J. might be a touch underhoo-handed, underhanded or devious? Whatever, I can see the little gears in her mind going at the thought to prove herself to me. Fet, she’s slumping a little. Maybe I outta sweeten the deal. “And you could, like, maybe get something else that you really want from there too, maybe some candies or the like?”
Cream Puff seems to crumple even further as her ears droop down. “Bu-but Ah don’t have any money fer that there gomsocking machine! Ah spent all ma allowance on the strawberry lemonade!”
“That’s alright..” Give her a soft smile, wait do I- a quick hitch of my saddlebags and the jingle-jangle of coinage gives the go ahead I need to implement my ‘guilt free’ plan. “I’ll take care of that. I’ve got the bits.”
“Really?” She asks hesitantly.
“Yeah, really.” Farking crimmy, all this work for junk food! Bah, whatever, this revelation that she’s potentially going to get candy, free candy, well, candy on somepo- somepo- another’s dime is enough to get her to hop off the bench and rush off in the direction of the promised land of convenient sugary snack foods stuff.
=========
Two muzzles, one yellow and one sky blue, peeked cautiously around the corner into the hospital waiting room, trying their hardest to stay out of sight.
“Soooo,” Rainbow Dash said, just above Fluttershy. “There she is. Huh, she really did get glasses.”
“Yes, I told you that her vision was giving her problems,” Fluttershy replied, her eyes falling upon a few bags of what had to be vending machine food. “Oh dear. You would think that the hospital would offer much healthier options in their vending machines.”
“Eh, they’re new, and besides,” Rainbow Dash began, grimacing at the awkward position that Heartbreak had sat herself into. “Just what kind of creature sits like that?” She asked quietly aloud, her own spine protesting at the sight. “Weren’t we sposta figure that out for Twilight?”
Fluttershy blinked and looked up at her friend blankly. “Figure out what?” she asked. There was more than just a hint of worry in her voice over the thought of having forgotten something, let alone that something being a request from Twilight!
“What... H.B. was before coming here...” Rainbow said through practically clenched teeth.
“Oh…Right. With everything that has happened I almost forgot about that...” She replied distantly.
Just then, three ponies came into the hospital waiting room.
Fluttershy recognized one of them as little Pipsqueak, a skewbald little colt that, if she recalled correctly, was friends with Applebloom, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle. He was being followed by a white mare with a brimmed boater hat covering her well coiffed lilac mane who was wearing a rather stuffy looking black dress and orange and white scarf. Next to which was a rather scruffy, soot spattered light goldenrod yellow stallion in a black cap from which dark tufts peaked out. As he looked about for a place to be sat, his hoof mussed about a red neck scarf. Though both ponies seemed to hail from different classes, something about them felt distinctly ‘Trottingham’.
“Pardon us,” The white mare said, a small grimace wrinkling her face as she was greeted with a rather slovenly looking tan mare who was posed in a position that showed little or no regard for their vertebrae, or her health in general if the crisps and sweets placed upon her belly were any indication. “But has anypony laid claim to these seats?”
The unkempt mare gave a strained wide eyed glance before covering her muzzle with her foreleg and roughly coughing into it.
“Hey! Don’t ya go chokin’ there, H.B.!” A little cream colored filly sat to her left exclaimed as tiny crumbs fell from her mouth.
“I’m fine, Cream Puff,” ‘H.B.’ Wheezed back, shaking her head in the negative. “Excuse me, I swallowed the wrong way. Those two seats there are free, but the one right next to me is... uhm reserved for somep-pony who’s with us but is currently in the uhm... lavatory...”
“Oh...” She replied, an indignant expression on her face as Heartbreak swept more crumbs off her stomach, jiggling slightly as it did so. ``No doubt due to unhealthy eating habits.” The white mare thought. “Well, that is quite alright, we have an appointment at 3:14 P.M. sharp, so we shan’t tarry here long.”
The tan mare's eyes widened behind her purple rimmed glasses before she covered her muzzle with hooves that, to be frank, needed their fetlocks brushed and a good painting, all in a vain attempt to stifle a rather odd giggle.
"Pi time," she finally said, as it explained the mysterious amusement. "Pi? Three point one four one five... nine two six... five three... five..." she coughed a little in embarrassment.
"Oh! Pi the number," came the white mare’s only slightly bemused reply. "Yes, I suppose that is the time for pi. As I was saying, however, we shan't be long."
“An’ besides...” The coal dusted stallion piped up. “Pipsqueak has plenty of room on the ‘loor, itn’d that right?” He asked the foal, his coltney accent rather thick.
Pipsqueak, whose attention had and position now had immigrated to Cream Puff and her little bag of carmely, roasty, toasty pralines, momentarily nodded before turning back to the cream coloured filly. “What are those?” He asked, sniffing curiously.
“Pralines.”
“Are they any good?” The little Pipsqueak inquired, licking his lips a little.
“Eh..” Cream Puff’s reply came. “They’re alright... but they can hold a candle ta the ones that ma momma would make.”
“May I try some?” He asked, his eyes growing wide and pleading.
“Cream Puff looked hesitant for a moment. ‘Geez, he’s given’ me that gosh awful cute face that all them lil foals use ta get what they want...’ “Alright...” She said, caving while Heartbreak gave a small giggle. “Ah guess ah could share a few...”
==========
I... think that Cream Puff is experiencing that same uncomfortable feeling that I get when she uses those little peepers of hers on me!
I really shouldn't... giggle.. over that.
Partly because that near involuntary sound is unsettling... and because it isn't very nice to take delight in Cream Puff’s suffering. Mostly because of that.
'It is funny though...'' Comes an intrusive thought.
'Maybe, but she's just a little fil-... a little filly...' I want to say 'little girl', but... should I think filly? Is it a bad thing to think about it? The others say it all the time.
"Here ya go," Cream Puff says, holding some of the pralines out balanced atop the bottom of her small hoof.
"Golly! Thanks!" Pipsqueak says, gingerly nibbling up the treats offered. Meanwhile, I'm just trying to hold back any feelings of envy that are percolating over the very fact that Cream Puff can do this without even trying...
"Well... yer quite welcome!" She says, dusting her hoof off and turning to look at me with a smirk, a smirk that kinda fades. Shit. Did she see the flicker of green in my eyes?!
"That was rather generous of her," the white mare with the funny flower hat says. "Seems that you've raised her quite properly!"
A horrible dread-filled flush transverses through my being.
Is she implying that I am... Don't freak out. Just explain what's going on. Cream Puff is just a little filly that- Say it already!!
"Oh, nooo. Cream Puff just, uhm... well... Follows me around..." I make out a sharp droop in Cream's face from the corner of my eye.
"Don't they all?" This totally assuming stranger asks with an amused lit that sounds like an upper English accent. What would that be? Trottingham? I wonder if there are suburbs in that city... "They always have a habit of keeping one on the tip of their hooves, busy with work, chores about one's house, soon one finds that they don't have the time for..." She glances at my side... Or I think she is, what the fet is up with that smirk she's giving me now?! "Proper eating habits and exercise regiment?"
Wait... She can't be implying anything about me, can she?
Finally the words force themselves out of my mouth. "And just who are you?"
"How terribly rude of me, I do apologize for not introducing myself," she says, placing one hoof on her 'chest' and extending the other in what looks to be a fffriendly 'hoofshake'. "I'm Practically Perfect."
"Uhm..." why is that name pinging a bell in the back of my head?
"Oy, sorreh there Missus Heartbreak-" the sooty point cuts in.
"No Missus or Miss. My name is Heartbreak, please call me H.B." I recite almost automatically. Seriously, why do these two look so familiar?!
"My apologies, din't mean to makin' any assumptions, " he says, taking his cap off and placing it over his chest. "Me name's Chim Chima-"
"Roo?" Fet, no way... is that what these two are 'referencing'? A quick glance of their marks... One's a... carpetbag with a lamp sticking out of it and the other is a red brick chimney with a black old fashioned doing brim for said chimney crossing it.
"Oy! You've heard of me before, have you?" He asks, a blackened smile showing across his face.
"Oh.. no... just a lucky guess..." I mull over that memory in my mind, Mary Poppins wasn't my most favorite movie. That would be something like 'Mirrormask', ''The Matrix', 'Cube', 'Pan's Labyrinth', or-
"So-" Practically Perfect's voice interrupts. "If I am not to assume that she is one of yours... Then are you looking after her? Perchance, are you also a nanny?"
"Nooo..." Gawds, I am really bad at these 'adult' conversations. I really wish that Flutters would be the knight in meek armor and return! Let her deal with-
"I'm terribly sorry, I don’t mean to pry, I simply don't know your circumstances-"
"Hey! Ah said ya could have some of 'em!" Cream Puff cries, plucking her bag of pralines from Pipsqueak.
"I couldn't help myself!" The little colt said between crunchy mouthfuls. "They're just so good!"
"I only ask because I myself am of the nanny profession and-"
"Sea-saw, up and down! Which is the way to Trottingham!?" A much more hyper-sounding Pipsqueak interjected, much to Practically Perfect’s chagrin. She gives him a bit of a glance.
"As I was saying, I am a nanny by profession, along with domestic help and-"
"Sea-saw! Up and down! Which is the way to Trottingham!?" Pipsqueak once again sing-repeats, this time however he pops up between 'Chimaroo' and 'Mary Poppins' pony.
"Pipsqueak... please behave yourself." Practically Perfect says, not quite 'practically' under her breath.
To this, the diminutive spotted pony gives an unhappy grimace. I can't help but roll my eyes a little and let out an accidental giggle. This in turn causes Pipsqueak to smile and hop out from between his, what I am now assuming to be his caretakers, to the floor.
Thankfully, he lands 'practically perfect'.
Unfortunately, it appears that he's taking my slight bemusement as a signal to continue shenanigans.
"Sea-saw! Up and down! Which is the way to Trottingham!?" He yet again, repeats songs, this time however, he tears upright, forelegs spread wide open while spinning?... Pirouetting? Whatever, he twirls around to a show of this. He then looks at us expectantly.
"Master Pipsqueakum! Can you please control yourself! We are in a public place!" Practically Perfect sternly reprimands, pretty much in my fet- Fucking ear!
The results of this are near instantaneous.
"S-s-sorry, mum..." Pipsqueak whimpers, as he falls to all fours, his left forefoot kicking the tiled hospital floor.
Geez, for being a Mary Poppins pony, she sure is very unpoppins like!
Seeing that pudgy little face of his starting to tear up is triggering something in me... I'm not sure what exactly, but...
'Fine, Equestria or whatever... You know I can't stand to see a face that young that sad... Plus I'm pretty sure that I know the rest of the words to this song... I think." I paw at Practically Perfect. "Do you mind?"
"Oh! I... I'm terribly sorry, I didn't mean to-"
"It's fine." Time to push up my glasses. "But-"
"But what?"
I glance at Pipsqueak, he seems to shy away, most likely fearing more harsh adult words.
"Oh, uhm, by all means," Practically Perfect replies. That... smarmy? Haughty? I'm not sure of the emotion, but I don't think I like it.
"Hey..." I uncharacteristically say, trying to get eye contact. It's like trying to approach a small white rabbit... which is what I would say, if it were not for... yesterday?
"Come now, don't be rude," Chimaroo quips.
"Y-yes, Miss Heartbreak?" he sheepishly asks.
"First off, my name is Heartbreak, please call me H.B." Plays like a broken record. "Secondly, you ought to ask before taking more of anything."
"I-I'm sorry, H.B."
"I'm not done..." Ugh! That voice! "Finally..." Deep breath here, H.B.. This is silly and stupid, and why am I doing this? Maybe it's because of everything else that's happened today and how about you shut up and do it already!? I let out that breath and look at him again. "One hoof up and one hoof down, this is the way to Trottingham?"
I'm not singing it, or at least I'm not trying to. It sounds rather monotone.
Despite this, an audible groan and muttered ‘Mustn’t you have encouraged him?’ comes from Practically Perfect.
Pipsqueak seems down right ecstatic however. “I told you! I told you! Somepony did know the words!” he crows bounding about.
I don’t really know why I did what I just did. For fun? To get under Practically Perfect’s skin? The shock of the events of today? The same reason I made a face at Cream Puff? Because I can?
Cream Puff lets out a loud humph that grabs my attention causing me to make the mistake of eye contact with her.
“H-how come yer singin’ with him an’ not me?!” she asks in an accusatory tone.
==========
Dash could practically feel herself reeling from the second hoof shame being telegraphed from Heartbreak’s body language as the little filly in front of her grew confrontational. “Well… that escalated quickly...”
“Y-yes...” Fluttershy replied, pangs of guilt from her lack of interference flittering in her voice. Still, she had to know- “so... What do you think I should do?”
“What should you do?” Dash asked, confused for a moment. “Oh right! My totally awesome advice!” Fluttershy nodded. “My advice...”
She mulled over what had unfolded before her and then, something that that one pompous pony .. Practically Perfect said struck a chord.
“Exercise routine!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed as quietly as she could.
“Exercise routine?” Fluttershy repeated.
“Yeah, what better way--”
Just then, before Rainbow Dash could explain any further, there was a gust of wind that pushed past the two ponies accompanied by shouts of “Get back here, you so called ‘Goodfilly’!” and the slamming of hospital doors.
“What was–”
But before Rainbow Dash could finish her question, the two double doors to the doctor’s offices swung back open, revealing a very frazzled looking chocolate brown mare with a caramel coloured mane and furious blue eyes.
“Nurse Biscotti!” Rainbow Dash yelped.
“And just what are you doing out of bed?!” questioned Nurse Biscotti, shouting.
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Great chapter yet again, its awesome to see an update after the last few months
11201617
Awww, Thaaaaaaank you!
Things are moving along well.
:3
11202259
Eeeee!!! Whatcha think of this chapter?
11202263
Neat. Glad to see it continue.
Also, if H.B. don’t want that muffin then I want it :3
P.S the drawing is cute
This part shot my eyebrows so far up they left my face. I wasn't aware any of the ponies knew (or cared) that HB was turned into a pony. That or the knowledge was suppressed by Celestia. Regardless, if RD cared enough to remember something important like that it brings her way up in my opinion.
11202622
Dash remembers cause of the 'fruit pie' incident in book one...
11202280
*gives you a muffin!*
another lovely chapter :D
Ah, this hit the spot.
I see some... localization occurring. I can't wait to see how this progresses.
That first picture is both hilarious and adorable. H.B. looks so silly.
11203778
Cream Puff seems to bring out a silly side to HB, don't she? First was the boop, now a hiccup.
Poor H.B.
Can't quite catch a break it seems.
2 drawings? We've been blessed.
In all seriousness, it's good to see an update.
And it looks like some interesting developments are coming.
Looking forward to more H.B.
Huh, someone else watched Mirrormask! Such a creepy underrated gem : )
Nice chapter, glad to see it popping into my inbox.
I'm a little late, but SO excited to see another new chapter! I'm glad these are a more regular occurrence after that rather long hiatus we had; I always knew you'd finish this macro-fic eventually, but I was just worried with how much my patience would last!
Really love seeing more of this smug side to Cream Puff; she's definitely been childish and (understandably) needy in prior chapters, but I feel she's starting to become a bit more well-rounded in terms of her interactions/reactions, even if her core drive is still the same. That moment at the end where she's confronting HB out of envy feels... viscerally real in terms of how a child would overreact to that situation.
New characters?!?! I'm curious about these donkeys; I don't recall them appearing in the story so far (granted, my memory isn't perfect!) so I'm looking forward to see where they know HB from, an exciting little mystery. Likewise, Pip's parents being Bert and Mary analogs gave me the widest, dumbest grin.
Great character work with Fluttershy (good thing, given it's her focus story!) - the moment with her feeling the signs were judging her was a great little beat. Also worth noting that I'm glad for that little bit of Dash; I think she's been the Mane character with the least amount of focus so far, and definitely the one we've seen interact with HB the least. As always, really nice to see you balance all of these subplots and moving parts. So many that I'd partially forgotten that they've been trying to figure out what kind of creature HB was beforehand! (A really fun idea - most SI fics I've seen tend to just have the protagonist just describe humans in the first chapter, or have it never come up; it being an in-verse mystery adds a lot of nice ebb and flow, and is a nice case of us the audience knowing more than the characters! I can't wait to see how close Twilight ends up getting.)
Finally, I'm still amazed with how much your art consistently improves! Really nice form and expression work generally. I love the plein air feel to the landscape in image one, and the sheer amount of characters worked into the second images' composition! I'm also a sucker for checkerboard floors drawn in perspective, heh. Something almost certainly unintentional but I need to point out; from this distance, Biscotti and HB look oddly alike. This is almost certainly just because they have similar colour palettes and curly manes, but I had to point it out. Just as I have to point out that odd image titled 'Home for The Holidays'(?) - depicting what kind of sort of appears to be HB, books and Discord wearing a Santa hat? I can't even begin to theorycraft, but I'm definitely fascinated!
...oh, and it took me until now to get the reference in Robin Goodfilly's name. Well played.
(As always, a bit of a massive comment befitting my username, but I always want to give stories their due in terms of feedback!)
11214811
Bwehehehehehe...
11202678
Really, it's been so long all I remember from the first story is the beginning and end. And the fact that nobody thinks it strange (and continue to do so) that Celestia gave a hugely disproportionate sentence to HB. I mean really, the Death Penalty is extreme for what was just some unintended mischief.
Oh don't tell me I unknowingly stole your OC!
11309303
Did you also drill a hole through your hoof?
Forgot about this story, was good to rise from my tomb and be greeted with it once again.
Mary Poppins of the original books is markedly different than the original movie. I haven't seen the second one, though I'm disappointed Tempest didn't show up in this chapter.
The movie Saving Mr. Banks demonstrates Walt Disney's clashes with Travers over the creative liberties he took about Mary Poppins' personality quite nicely.