Elements of Hominy
Chapter 37
Elements of Hominy
Fluttershy pushed the black framed bike along a wobbly path back to Ponyville.
To her right was the little cream colored filly who wore a none too pleased scowl on her face, was it the combined weights of two saddlebags or what had just happened that had put her in such a mood? Maybe it was both... and to the pegasus’ right...
To her left was the ever bouncing, ever optimistic, ever cheerful ponking party pony Pinkie Pie.
Happily hopping hurriedly unhindered by the horrors hewn an hour prior hence... only hobbled by boxes of puzzles and games upon her back clattered that Rainbow Dash said that she just couldn’t carry.
‘Or didn’t want to carry... Just because she had to go and meet Lieutenant Fast’n’Fit... and abandon-’ Came an intrusive cuckoo bird thought into the nest of Fluttershy’s mind. ‘That’s hardly fair! Cuckoos are living breathing beings too! Just because their parenting strategy involves slipping into other birds’ nests and laying their eggs, thus ensuring that the birds of that nest raise the cuckoo chick, who once hatched, pushes the actual eggs and chicks out of the nest, it doesn’t mean that-’
“Hey! Fluttershy!” Pinkie exclaimed.
Fluttershy in response jumped up into the air, squeaking and clinging to the branch of an ash tree, leaving Heartbreak’s bike to wobble precariously.
Pinkie hopped to the abandoned black bicycle’s rescue, stabilizing it before any tragedy could befall the nearby burdened Cream Puff. She looked up at her friend.
“You ok, Fluttershy?” she asked, toning down her overall pinkatude by, like, seventeen-point-one percent.
“Oh... y-yes... Everything is fiiine...” Fluttershy replied with a tremor in her voice. “Why do you ask?”
“Uhm... well...” Pinkie began.
“Yer up in a tree like a cat that’s been chased by the family dog an’ lookin’ more stressed than Ma momma when daddy cracked the oven door open when she was makin’ chocolate souffle.” Cream Puff interjected, stepping into the refreshing shade of the tree to both be heard and to escape the heat.
Fluttershy quivered causing the leaves of the ash to rustle and tremble belying efforts to conceal any fretful feelings.
Pinkie hip bumped the stack of games on her back and they all landed neatly atop her pomphy mane. “Why don’t you come down out of that tree, and Good Old Auntie Pinkie Pie will doll out her advice!”
Fluttershy grimaced a little, after all, she was a year older than her... At the same time, maybe- just maybe, the mad mare might pull through with the advice she needed. “Oh... alright...” she said, gently waffling back down to the ground.
Cream Puff looked at Fluttershy, questions written in the tilting of her head and mismatching of her ear positions. “Missus Fluttershy, ah’m a sugar plum bit confused, ah know H.B.’s been in the hospital... like... a lot, an’ that can be real stressful-like an’ all, but was what happened back there in Weepin’ Willia’ Wood park all that important?”
“Uhm...” Fluttershy’s wings stiffened as her mind tried to scramble for an answer to everything that had happened to H.B. had happened without spilling the secrets as to why it needed to happen!
“Is it ever!” Pinkie exclaimed, practically zipping up to the little filly. As she did so the games and puzzles went, much like Fluttershy, flying into the air. “H.B. has been tasked with writing a letter to Princess Celestia once a month about the Elements of Harmony!”
Both Cream Puff and Fluttershy’s eyes widened at what Pinkfullofus Piexpositionus just blurted out!
“She has ta write a litter ta the Princess? An’ it has ta be about... The Elements of Harmony?” Cream Puff’s face widened even more. “H.B. knows the Princess!?” she exclaimed as Pinkie lifted her forehooves up to expertly catch the board games.
“Well... Yes...” Fluttershy said, her voice trembling as she gave Pinkie a serious look. “It’s because... she’s... well...-”
“A diplomat from Minneighsota!” Pinkie finished once she caught on to the silent screams her friend was making.
“Ah knew she was from Min-neigh-sorter an’ all, but Ah didn’t know she was all that there so important! Why’s she gotta write that there letter about the... Elements of Hominy?”
“Harmony...” Fluttershy gently corrected.
Cream Puff looked thoughtful. “Elements of Harmony... Ah think Ah remember ma Pa talkin’ about those from one of ma bedtime stories, wasn’t them what was used ta defeat Nightmare Moon?” she asked.
“That’s right!” Fluttershy replied, nodding a moment of relief causing her wings to flap. At least that was a question she could answer. ‘And best of all it’s not about H.B.!’
“Why’s it gotta be about them?” Cream Puff asked.
“Oo! Oo! Pick me! Pick me!” Pinkie Pinkie’ied still holding the games aloft on her hoof.
Cream Puff looked baffled, but then hesitantly pointed at the beaming pink pony. “Uhm, yes’um, Pinkie?”
“To show that she’s adapting as a pony here in Equestria!” Pinkie replied as if she was the over achieving top student in the class.
Fluttershy could almost feel herself mentally facehoof with what Pinkie just said.
“Uh...” Came the little filly’s anticlimactic response. “What... what happens if she don’t learn anything’ or don’t send a letter?”
Both Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie’s face blanched at the utterance of the question with the games that had been balanced on the pink pony of the pie hoof taking a tenacious tumble to the ground.
Cream Puff’s jaw dropped. “It ain’t somethin’ good, is it?”
The two mares glanced at each other, now really unsure of what to say. Cream Puff started to pick up the game pieces to a game called ‘Submareia’.
“Nopony would ever go reactin’ like that if it was anythin’ good...” The little orphan filly lamented plucking up two small pony figures, a tiny beaker, a little crow, and a mouse up before putting them all into their respective boxes and offering them up to Pinkie. “It’s OK! Ah can handle whatever it is! Ah’m a big filly!” she insisted. “She ain’t gonna be sent back there ta old cold crummy Min-neigh-er-soter, is she?!”
Fluttershy bit her lip, obviously she wasn’t going to emburden the already saddlebag-burdened-filly with the truth. “Oh... no...” she began. “She just won’t be able to stay here in Ponyville until the end of the year.”
“Which is in March!” Pinkie quickly added, lowering herself down that Cream Puff could reposition the various games on her back. “You got all the pieces?”
“Ah think so...” Cream Puff said, looking around. “She can’t stay in Ponyville after March if she dun’t send a letter about a lesson she’s learned?” she asked, a concerned whimpery whine in her voice. “That’s hardly fair!”
“That’s what was agreed on...” Fluttershy replied, a resigned remorse lingering in her words.
“We gotta tell some pony ab-” Cream Puff started.
“N-no!” FLuttershy cried out, much to the little filly’s surprise.
“No?”
“Uhm, no...” Fluttershy panicky glanced at Pinkie Pie. “We can’t do that because-” She tapped the pink pony when it seemed like she had spaced out for a moment.
“Because of... how much pressure she would be under!” Pinkie ad libbed.
“Pressure?”
“Uh-huh! She’s under pressure right now! Pressure that can break a pony in two or put families on the street!” Pinkie exclaimed, nearly dropping the games again.
“She could lose her house?!” Cream Puff panicked.
“No silly! I mean, uhm, that if other ponies knew about what’s happening, then they’re going to want to remind H.B. of what she needs to do and then she’ll feel like if she doesn’t do it then she’ll be failing them, failing the princesses, failing Equestria!” Pinkie exclaimed loud enough for a pair of passing ponies to look over, only to turn their heads back and trot away just all that faster. “Or even worse than that!”
“Worse than all that?!” Cream Puff fretted. “Burn sweet patata pies! What could be worse than all that!?”
“She could be failing herself!” Pinkie said, turning and looking directly to her left.
Fluttershy, who had been sharing in every moment of Cream Puff’s ever growing uneasy panic looking in the direction that her friend stared in. “P-Pinkie, why are you staring at that wall?”
Pinkie shook her head and rubbed her eyes. “I am? That’s the fourth one this week!”
Fluttershy blinked, her fears abated as they were momentarily replaced with confusion. Pinkie had a knack for that. “Uhm, maybe now you could give me that advice you were talking about earlier?” she asked pleadingly.
“Yeah, I could do that! After all it’s been...” She began pointing in the air and counting. “One... two... three, four, five... six and a half pages! We got to get the plot of this story moving along!”
Cream Puff blinked, her ears half cocked and her expression scrambled like eggs. “Uhm... Missus Fluttershy... What-”
“Oh... That’s just Pinkie being Pinkie...” Fluttershy replied, her wings puffing and deflating. This action was partly due to her having just just smiling, quickly nodding, and learning to love the Pomb. The other half was her feeling the spirit of what had been said just wanting to, the pink on prosefully put it ‘move the plot of this story along’. “W-what advice would you give me? W-what do you think I should do, Pinkie?” she practically pleaded.
“Well... Uhm, what advice did everypony else give you?” Pinkie asked, picking up a game piece that had been missed and matching it to its appropriate game with the flick of her tail.
Fluttershy stared at the ground for a moment seemingly lost in the repeating lyrical nature of the week’s events as they played out. The common theme feeling like somepony repeating the phrase ‘second verse! Same as the first! A little bit faster and a little bit worse!’
“Well, the first advice was from Subtle Brew who told me to ‘go with the flow’,” she said, tapping her chin. “But that really hasn’t worked with all the other unfortunate things that have happened...”
“Other things?” Cream Puff asked.
”Yes, Rarity suggested that I introduce her to my animal friends to see if one of them-” Fluttershy stopped herself and chewed on the next words she was going to say. “Wanted to be her pet!”
Cream Puff frowned and raised an eyebrow. “How is that sposta teach any pony about the ‘Elements of Hominy’?”
“Harmony,” Fluttershy once again, gently corrected.
“Harmony? Really?” She chuffed and kicked her little hoof. “Here Ah’ve been sayin’ it wrong the whole time. Though Ah always did wonder how Princess Celestia went about defeatin’ Nightmare Moon with the power of corn of all things!”
Fluttershy and Pinkie could only giggle at the innocent filly’s misunderstanding.
“Then what are the Elements of Harmony, an how is H.B. gettin’ herself a critter gonna teach her about them?” Cream Puff asked, starting to feel like a broken record.
“Oh! I know!” Pinkie exclaimed, her mane and tail reshaping themselves to be a pink-fied version of Twilights. “The Elements of Harmony are the magical manifestation of those qualities that exist within all ponies that bring about friendship and harmony between all ponies. They are as follows: Laughter, Honesty, Generosity, Kindness, Loyalty! Alone these things are wonderful, but united together they are the spark that is Magic!” she recited in a near perfect imitation. Now done, her mane and tail repoofed back to their regularly scheduled pumphy ponkiness. “Wow! Channeling Twilight like that is harder than it looks! I have no idea how she does it!”
Cream Puff stared at the explanation in wonder and bewilderment. “Wow, really? Ah mean, other than corn, Ah just thought that they was an over puffed up meringue, ya know: fancy, a bit sweet, but a lot of work fer somethin’ that’s mostly air!” She tapped her chin and tilted her head. “An’ them elements are in everypony?”
Pinkie Pie puffed parts of her rudder. “Ya-huh!” she exclaimed quickly, nudging the games back into a neat stack on her back. “My element is laughter!”
“On an account yer always jokin’, an’ smilin’ an’ making’ others laugh?” Cream Puff asked, all the while Pinkie was nodding. “Huh yeah, that butters biscuits.”
“Sure as sugar does!” Pinkie exclaimed, her head still nodding away as if it were attached to her body on a spring. Fluttershy raised a hoof and placed it on the pink pony’s poomph, permanently pausing the periodic perturbations. “He he, thanks. See? Fluttershy’s element is Kindness... on account of how super duper kind she is!”
“Oh... Okay... So how was gettin’ H.B. a pet gonna teach her about kindness?” Cream Puff asked, yet again.
“Well, I don’t quite remember how Rarity explained it, but, if one of the animals showed H.B. kindness by accepting her and wanting to be her pet and in turn she could show them kindness by giving a lonely, sad, and hopefully sweet little animal a new, warm, loving home to go to!” Fluttershy said, her wings flittering about as she reared up ever so slightly thinking about all her animal friends that she had helped over the years.
“Then... What happened?” Came the terribly tragic question that swiftly brought her back to the ground.
“Oh... well,” Fluttershy began, her ears drooping and her right forehoof raising in a pensive pose. “Things looked like they might have been going well. Foxiekins even hopped up on her back! Though he did run away once he saw her face...”
Pinkie uncharacteristically scrunched her face. “That Foxiekins should have definitely ran!”
“Pinkie... he’s not like that... he’s just... affectionate...” Fluttershy tried to explain.
“Affectionate my left cruple!” Pinkie huffed, stomping her hoof. “I told that fox that I‘m a one pet pony and he still did what he did!”
“What he do?” Cream Puff asked with big, curious, innocent concerned eyes.
“Oh! He-” Suddenly her face skidded to a halt and wilted as she became aware of Cream Puff’s age. “I-I-I’m not allowed to say without breaking the rating!” She snorted before turning her head and somehow crossing her hooves.
Cream Puff frowned at the response, she hated when the adults thought her too innocent. ‘Then again, like daddy always said ‘sometimes it ain’t worth the effort of pokin’ the beehive just a taste of their honey when y got the pot at home’ or however that went...’ “Aaaanyway, after that was when she went ta Missua Applejack’s farm an’ was roasted up by them there fire ants, watn’it?”
“Fire ants!?” Pinkie gasped, her eyes going wide. “You mean the ants that are the size of an older filly, look like they’re made of metal, and breathe actual fire?!”
“Uhm, yes...” Fluttershy said.
“Really!? Why isn’t she... more...” Pinkie frowned and looked to her left as if scolding an unseen figure.
“Roasted an’ toasted up like a marshmeller?” Cream Puff asked, looking over at Fluttershy.
“O-Oh... uhm... Because Applejack tended to her burn right after she saved H.B. from the fire ants...” Fluttershy looked to her right. “Then Big Mac came and used cider and an ice wood crate to freeze the poor dears...” she frowned and her ears drooped. “I really hope Applejack will set them free in their natural environment.”
“Was she able to throw the capsule in time?” Pikie asked as she made the motions of tossing some unseen object at an equally unseen invisible imaginary beastie. She then proceeded to make a ‘doopki-doopki!’ sound, before finishing with a ‘pong-click!’ “Dun-dun-dunnanananana!” chimed holding up nothing in her hoof in a pose of celebration!
This act only left Fluttershy and Cream Puff looking befuddled and confused.
Pinkie squeaked and covered her mouth. “Oh! Sorry girls! It’s just been so long since I had any screen time that I’m-” Once more, she was only met with looks of further confusion. “I’ll tone down the Pinkie Power...” She giggled and wretched her tail counter clockwise.
“Yeah...” Cream Puff said, giving Pinkie a side eye before wiping a little sweat off her brow. “Aaaaneigh way... Ah remember what happened after that... but...” She scratched her head. “Why was H.B. goin’ ta Missus Applejack’s farm in the first place? How was she gonna learn a lesson about kindness there?” the inquisitive little filly asked.
“Oh... Well, Applejack wanted to help H.B. and improve her diet by showing her what foods she could get at her farm!” Fluttershy mulled over how what happened could have led to a lesson. “I think she was trying to be kind in showing her what she had on the farm and give her more variety to her diet? I think that’s what Applejack said...”
“An’ what- an’ excuse ma Prench, Missus Fluttershy, in the same hickory roasted nuts was Missus Dash tryin’ ta teach with that there over mixed roll’ar coaster ride of an obstacle course?!” Cream Puff huffed. “Ah’m sorr’eh ta the both of ya’s, Ah guess Ah’m still awfully sore about Missus Dash goin’ an’ callin’ H.B. fat!”
Pinkie Pie gasped. “Dashie did what?!”
“I’ve already had a talk with her about that...” Fluttershy said, obviously holding back some rather difficult emotion. “I don’t really want to talk about that anymore...“ She shook her head frustratedly. “I think what Rainbow Dash was trying to show was that she cared that- I mean, cared about H.B. getting enough exercise so that she could stay healthy...” she stomped her hoof. “I think...”
Cream Puff rubbed her little head. ‘Sometimes, ah have no idea why Ah wanna grow up if it means that Ah’m gonna be like this!’ “Diet? Exercise? Are ya sure that Missus Applejack an’ Missus Dash ain’t in cahoots with each other in this? Cause thems sounds like awfully similar lessons...”
“Pffft!” Pinkie raspberried while waving a hoof. “RainbowJack isn’t a thing... yet...”
Cream Puff once more gave Pinkie a very confused glare. “Ah... Ah, what-Ah?!” The little filly closed her eyes and steam seemed to come from ears as her brain attempted to process the words coming from Pinkie’s mouth before she just collapsed near the verge of tears.
“Oh! Cream Puff!” Fluttershy gasped coming to her side. “Are you alright? Do you need water?” she asked her wings flapping over the cream colored filly in an attempt to cool her down.
“That’d be awfully kind of ya, Missus Fluttershy, but Ah was just...” She started to sniffle. “Ahm all confused at everyin’ ya’ve all said, an’ Ah’m feeling bad fer everythin’ that’s gon an’ happened ta H.B. An’-” Cream Puff’s eyes started to tear up. “Ah was just really lookin’ for ta cookin’ with her taday an’ Ah’m sure as molasses that ain’t gonna happen on account of her bein’ in the hospital... again!”
“Wait! That’s it!” Pinkie exclaimed excitedly in the middle of this calamity.
“What now?!” Cream Puff looked up at the pink pony before taking a deep breath and then letting it out. “Ah’m sorry Missus Pie, what is it?” she asked hoping, practically praying for something that was a semblance of a coherent thought coming from the pony before her.
“You can still cook something for H.B.!” Pinkie started, looking as if she was forcing her thoughts to organize themselves. Quickly she turned to Fluttershy. “And you can help her!” she massaged her temples as if she was receiving this information from some outerly worldly instructor attempting to narrate her actions!
Cream Puff tilted her head. “But wh-”
Pinkie gently put a hoof that smelled of cake frosting and earth on the little snoot. “For the lesson! For my advice!”
“Ah...” she frowned. “How’s Fluttershy an’ me cooki’ somethin’ gonna go about teachin’ H.B. anythin’ about kindness?”
“Beeecause, it would be a kind thing for Fluttershy to help H.B. keep her promise to yoooou...” Pinkie continued, twirling her forehooves. “And I'll do a kind thing by talking to the Cakes at Sugar Cube Corner and convince them to let you use their kitchen!”
Like that, the tears in Cream Puff’s eyes dried and were replaced by bright sparkles!
“Ah could do something real bakin’ at... at the Sugar Cube Corner?” Cream Puff asked, practically jumping up despite the heft of the saddlebags weighing her down. “In a real kitchen, with good measurin’ spoons, an’ real sugar, an’ unadulterated flour, an’ eggs that ain’t weeks old?!”
“Yuh-huh!” Pinkie replied bobbing her head only to stop it with her hooves.
“Hold up though... How is this gonna teach H.B. about Kindess?” Cream Puff asked. “Ah’m only askin’ cause, well, in Ma humble opinion, ya’ll didn’t seem ta have much of a lesson in mind...” She looked up at Fluttershy. “No offense there Missus Fluttershy.”
“Uhm... none taken...” Fluttershy meekly replied.
“It’ll teach her about kindness because Fluttershy’s kind act of keeping H.B. 's promise to you, which inspired me to take her bike to the repair shop, drop off all the games at the game store, and then go to the hospital to check up on H.B. while making sure she knows what’s happening. Your kind deeds will inspire my kind deeds! And then you’ll tell her the story about all this!”
“So... One kind deed can inspire another?” Cream Puff asked. “That does sound like a good lesson...”
Fluttershy blinked. “That does sound like a good lesson...” She repeated. The more she thought about this very basic, very simple lesson, the more she liked it. “Why Pinkie, this might be the exact lesson that we need! It’s perfect!” she exclaimed as she began to almost practically prance in place!
“Well... chaa! With a lesson as simple as that, what could possibly go wrong? Now come on! I bet if I asked before the lunch rush, the Cakes would be even more willing to let you use their kitchen!” Pinkie promised, taking out a white belt, before strapping the games to her back. She then began leading the two ponies to the gingerbread inspired confectionary down the road.
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Pinkie summoned the "Jinxies" with her third-to-last line. If only she didn't crank down the Power, she could've been aware of this post, and done the ritual to drive them away.
I suddenly have a hankering for tamales, but I'm out of lime, and the hardware store is closed.
I was going to make a comment about how nice it is to see 2 chapters, but now that i see another one I am quite curious about it. Was this a bigger chapter that you divided for convenience sake or something else?
11835531
Kinda. I had drawn pictures without realizing how short it all was.
lmao
Super excited to see SUCH a wild volume of chapters dropped on me at once, so I'm commenting my feedback two chapters at a time!
P.B. and J.J.'s a real fun punny name, as are the game puns (Ogliopony is particularly great); the scale of this fic always makes me curious about new OCs; if they're going to have immediate payoff in just a few chapters, or if they're set-up for something a bunch of books down the line. I'm not sure if I even picked up on H.B.'s constant hospital visits being a running gag in this book until this, the fourth(?) time, but it's fun. While it's unfortunate that this book's taken IRL years to roll out, I think it makes the repetition of the gag even funnier. Nice to see that H.B. is babystep-ing into adjusting to the new gender: both because I'm happy for her, and because I'd say we're at a point in this mega-fic where she's due for a degree of personal growth like that. Speaking of long-term payoffs, I'm surprised that Brick House's comic childishness has diegetic reasoning, and doubly surprised that its being mined for emotion. I liked her before, but this reveal gives her an interesting hook! Adorable foal art is adorable.
Also nice to see more Pinkie! Feels like we've barely seen her interact directly with H.B., at least since the very first story. It's almost startling to see her directly break the fourth wall like this, but I can appreciate her desire to keep the plot moving apace. ...Oh, she noticed I was commenting on her behaviour and responded in real time. Neat.
Hmm, wild theory time: all this recapping about the Elements of Harmony makes me wonder if this fic is leading towards H.B. and her OC friends wielding them? Even though Cream Puff, B.H. and Dib seem like the only ponies close enough to her for that at this point. (Of course, that runs counter to my other wild theory that the grand finale will include H.B. succumbing to her quasi-Draconicusification and needing to be brought back!) Wonder if there's any significance to the magic lamp in the chapter art. Curious detail, that.