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Eyes, and ear, and holes and stripes!3,183 words
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Murphy is a son of a -

"MOTHERB-," I let out a yelp as a sharp pain stabbed me in the face. Celestia lick me like she loves me; that hurt like hell! Running my tongue across the back of my teeth, my eyes widened as I felt that my jawline had most definitely changed.

"Dude, you have a snout!" Oh Dalton, any more blunt and you'd be best pony.

I brought a hand up to my face and true to Dalton's word, I felt something that was most definitely not human in place of my nose. Well there goes the last human part of my face. All I need is the wings and tail and I'm a full blown anthro.

Looking over at Dalton, I saw him shifting uncomfortably in his seat before reaching into the back of his pants and pulling out a short grey tail. He looked at it before looking up at me with those adorable blue eyes of his cocking his head to the side, "you have... Something on your head too; it looks like a fin... I think?"

I reached up and ran my hand across my head. Directly on top, I felt the first of four bumps all running in a parallel line, ending at the base of my neck. There were small, only about an inch and a half tall; and there was skin connecting them.

Well, at least we're not bald now...

Yeah, but it's a fin; a Celestia damned fin! I don't even have a human face anymore!

But once the change is done, I'm sure you can just turn into a pony and have your luscious locks back as a cartoon pony.

Oh piss off brain, you titanic ass. Sighing, I glance out the window.

The sun was beginning to peak over the horizon and in the distance, I could see our destination: Chicago. The Windy City was a good while away but it was visible and it was a damn good sight to see. We're almost there and practically nothing has gone wrong.

"Johnny... You may wanna take the wheel now..." Dalton said, a hint of fear in his voice.

"Wh-," I turned to face him to see that his fingers were beginning to recede into his hand. I spoke too soon; Murphy's law you son of a whore!

Quickly getting to my feet, I managed to take one step before falling flat on my face, smacking my head against the wall hard. Discombobulated, I looked back and clearly saw a pair of black hooves sticking out of my jeans instead of feet!

YOU INVOKED THE WRATH OF MURPHY'S LAW!

Shut up brain, I know! The camper swerved, "Johnny, I'm driving with stumps here; I need you to take the wheel now!"

Damn it, we don't need a crash when we're so close to the end! Using the console between our seats, I pulled myself to my rather shaky hooves. Another large swerve sent me falling flat on my ass again.

"Just pull over into the ditch!"

After I stopped us in a gas station parking lot, the two of us decided to see what had happened to the other members of our merry band of misfits. Sage was surprisingly still out like a rock but the fine brown fur that was covering her was now a good inch longer. She looked like a walking shag carpet. Kylie's change, on the other hoof, was another story entirely.

I couldn't believe my eyes as I looked down at the very sleepy zebra filly tangled up in the blanket and sheets as she looked up at me with impossibly large eyes. Seriously, pony eyes are gargantuan; how they heck do they even fit in a pony skull and still leave room for the brain!

Congratulations; Your AnthroKylie has evolved to HorseKylie!

The moment she saw me, she smiled ear to ear, "You're awake!"

"Yeah, woke up late last night," I returned her smile. She probably hasn't realized what's happened to her yet. Sitting down next to her, I rubbed one of her ears much to her annoyance.

"Don't do th-," she stopped mid sentence as she brought up a hoof to shove me off. As I watched her stare at the grey striped appendage, I couldn't help but laugh a little as she wiggled it about, rotated it, and a whole bunch of other stuff; her eyes as big as dinner plates the entire time. She then looked up at me and let out the loudest squeal of delight I had ever heard as she untangled herself from the sheets.

Make her stop! She makes us bleed!

My hand shot out and clamped her muzzle shut, "please don't do that, you're gonna bust my ear drums!"

She nodded and let out a muffled okay. Sighing happily, I let go of her muzzle and she gave me an extremely pouty face. "Aww, you're so cute when you're mad," I pinched her cheek, giving her a shit eating grin.

"Am not," her pout only grew bigger.

"Yes you are," I scoffed, "you're giving me diabeetus as we speak."

"No I'm not!" She huffed, "any more and I'll Rarity-whine till your ears do bleed."

Damn it, her only trump card. I sighed, "Fine, you win... For now," I gave her a playful smirk.

"Johnny could you get up here," Sage's voice called out.

I ruffled Kylie's mane, "see you in a bit my little zebra, Madame Shag Carpet is calling." This earned a giggle from Kylie and a rather annoyed, "I heard that," from Sage.

Returning to my friends, I found Dalton sitting on the couch in his boxers and I nearly had a heart attack. Goddamnit Johnny, you are not gay!

I took a deep breath and looked over at Sage who was sitting at the dining table with Dalton's pants laying on said table. She gave me a bemused look, "look roach man, Dalton says you have a pocket knife, could I see it for a second?"

I nodded, "yeah," reaching into my pocket, I dug out my old pocket knife and handed it to her, "what are you even doing?"

"Cutting a hole for his tail what does it look like," she said bluntly as she flicked the blade open, "since he can't exactly do it himself."

Dalton frowned at this and looked down at his now handless stumps, hitting them against one another with a clip-clop. I couldn't help but frown at his dower expression before turning back to sage to see her cutting the fabric along the back seam, making a 2 inch long slit in the fabric. "And good as new," she smiled at her work as she handed me back my knife, "now could you help put them back on?"

"W-what!?" both me and my brain sputtered in unison as my heart skipped a beat.

"I'm sure as buck not helping him put on his pants and since you're the only other guy the job falls to you," she stated bluntly.

I swore I could hear the powers above laughing at me as she handed me Dalton's pants and I turned to face my semi-thestral best friend.

I took a deep breath as I made my way over to him. Okay Johnny, there is nothing gay about helping a friend even if he's one you suddenly find yourself attracted to. Dalton just needs help putting on his pants and that's it, he simply can't do it because he doesn't have hands anymore; It's not like he's asking you to give him a handjob or anything. Son of whore, now I have that mental image! Oh Celestia, Luna, God Emperor, Akatosh, Omnissiah, Allah, Buddha, Talos, Baby Jesus, please don't let that happen now of all places! La la la la, it can't happen if I'm not thinking about it! Celestia's solar orgasms, it is happening!

*zzzzziiiippp*

The sound of Dalton's zipper broke me out of my panic attack and I looked up at Dalton to see him staring down at me with an awkward look on his face, "Johnny, get you hand off my crotch please?"

My hand shot to my side like it was just on hot coals. I looked over at Sage to see both her and Kylie giving me odd looks.

"I.... Back in a minute," I blurted out as I practically threw myself at the camper door, feeling a certain tightness downstairs.

The gas station's bathroom was surprisingly clean for such a dingy looking road stop. The stark white walls and practically spotless crapper and sink was far from the clichè biological hazard I was expecting to find myself running into.

Panting, I closed the door, locking it just in case. Once that was over, I slumped against the wall as the dam broke and I began crying.

I'm a faggot; a goddamn faggot! What's the point in denying it any further, I'm gayer than a party at Elton John's house!

I just kept sitting there, wallowing in self-pity for Celestia knew how long before there was a light knock at the door.

"LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!" I snapped, not caring who it was.

The knocking happened again, this time more forceful and, as I now noticed, practically at ground level. "Unkee Johnny, let me in," Kylie's voice called out from the other side of the door and my heart sunk in realization.

"K-Kylie? Look I need some me time at the moment. I got a lot on my mind...."

"Tío, let me in," she said again, this time her tone was more sad, "you need somepony to talk to and who better than family?"

I sat there in silence for while before sighing and getting to my hooves. "Alright, you can come in," I sighed as I unlocked the door and opened it, letting the little zebra trot inside. Once she was in, I locked the door once again and sat down on the floor once more.

Kylie looked at me with concerned eyes as she plopped down her haunches, "why did you run off like that?"

"It's an adult matter Kylie, you wouldn't understand."

She just gave me a bemused look, "I'm smart, I'm sure I can understand."

I shook my head, "this is a when you're older subject."

She nodded, giving me a warm smile, "I understand but I'm still here for you to talk to."

I sighed, looking down at my hooves, "alright, pinkie promise me that what I tell you is just between us okay?"

She nodded, "cross my heart and hope to fly stick a cupcake in my eyes ow!" She yelped slightly as she poked her eyes with her hoof.

I couldn't but laugh a little, "you know how your aunt Amanda likes other girls instead of men?"

She nodded slowly before cocking her head to the side, "are you trying to say that you're a coltcuddler?"

I blinked in surprise; how in the heck does she even know what that term means? She a bucking six year old; she shouldn't know about this kinda stuff till she's a teenager! Well, she is a smart kid, I'll give her that, but still!

"Yeah," I sighed, "I honestly don't know anymore Kylie Wylie. This didn't start happening till yesterday morning. Before that I had absolutely no interest in him, but now I'm not so sure..."

She trotted over over to me and hugged me around my neck. "It's okay Unkee, but you gotta tell him sometime."

I nodded frowning, "I know... It's just- how the heck am I supposed to tell my best friend for I don't know how long that I suddenly find him attractive?"

"Honesty is the best policy," she said, a warm smile on her face as she released me from her hug.

I sighed. returning the smile, "alright Kylie, I'll do it.... Just don't tell him okay?"

She nodded, "I'd promise again but I don't want to hurt my eye."

"Could you leave though, I actually do need to go to the restroom."

"Well then, I can't complain about being below average anymore," I laughed to myself as I sat down on the porcelain throne. Which might I add, is quite uncomfortable when you no longer have human legs. It's not painful or anything, it's more akin to the feeling of sitting on a asleep foot.

As I did my business, I decided to see what the range of movement on my now satyr-fied legs was. I wiggled my toes, that caused my hooves to twitch. I tried to roll my ankle, which made a good portion of my lower leg move. I groaned to myself, horse anatomy is weird.

After a few minutes of that, nature had done its duty, and I reached for the roll of toilet paper and tore off a length.

Reaching down, I began clean myself when I let out a pleasured squeak as I hit something that I knew was not supposed to be there.
...

...

...
The application BRAIN encountered a fatal error and has crashed. ERROR ER: 82581

Re-attempting launch...
Relaunch failed.

Attempting recovery...
Recovery failed.

Reverting to backup...

Loading backup file...
A://thats_not_supposed_to_be_there.exe...
Running...
You just noticed something that is most definitely not supposed to be part of your physical anatomy. What do you do?
>Commence Panic?

Author's Note:

Yes, that did just happen

Edited by the ever lovely graycait

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