Mending Love:Love is Chaos

by atomicpuffin

Chapter Twelve

Author's Note:

Hello Readers! So I figured that since I have some extra days off this week I would finish putting Mending Love on here completely and hopefully get started on transferring Mending Souls!

Okay so on to the chapter! Well this one shows what happened to Discord throughout the two weeks he was missing, so it is a bit shorter than the others. Please enjoy!

*Day One*

He had found the cave easily. Yes this was the perfect place for him to stay in. She wouldn't try to come here, not with all the dangers. At least he hoped she wouldn't, not when she was so far along…

He felt his heart split when he realized he would never meet his son. It was better though, if she felt it necessary to take away their son's magic why would she want him around? After all he was far more powerful than his son...that's why the ponies were afraid of his son already. They were afraid he would turn out just like daddy...

He would only be a danger to them...it was better this way.

That didn't make it hurt any less. He crawled into the cave and succumbed to the tears as he thought of his beautiful wife and her betrayal.

He never thought he would hear such words from her...never thought she would only see him as nothing but the evil overlord.

"Maybe I over reacted though...I mean she had looked upset when I left?"

He had floated above her invisible for a second watching her sob. It had taken every strong bone in his body not to go back and hold her.

Maybe I should go back and apologize?

He shook his head and frowned. No he wasn't going to go back no matter the temptation to pretend like none of this had happened.

At the end of the day pretending wouldn't make the hurt fade. It would only shatter his heart further.

I can never go back...I'll just have to forget her...forget I love her...

He grabbed his chest as it flamed with pain, the thought of not loving her caused him physical pain. He gasped as his heart ached further.

"Who am I kidding...I'll never stop loving her."

---

*Day Five*

He watched the hateful thing spin in the air. He should destroy it, throw it away, do anything but continue to stare at it. He lifted his claws intent on destroying the object that brought him daily pain.

Then as always when he tried to do anything to it he simply sighed and snatched it out of the air. He opened his claws and felt his heart shatter all over again.

How there was anything left of it he wasn't sure. All he knew was it broke every morning when he woke up and realized she wasn't next to him...and she never would be again.

"Why torture yourself like this Discord?" He whispered as he slipped his wedding ring back on his finger.

He looked around the cave he was in. He hadn't done much to change its appearance, as it matched his mood. Dark and desolate…

Snap out of it Discord! You should have known better than to hand your heart over to a pony! You know you're incapable of love!

The hateful voice shouted, it had started three days after he had left. He shook his head to rid himself of it.

Still it continued,

Why are you moping inside this cave...why not take your revenge on those that have hurt you?

"I don't want revenge...I want my wife back…" Discord whispered as he felt tears slide out of his eyes.

It was always like this now. He would get angry at her, for what she said, how she had betrayed him. Then he would want nothing more than to go back to her and hold her again.

Just one more touch, one more kiss, anything so long as he was with her again.

He curled up on the floor and sighed, closing his eyes. Instantly he saw an image of her.

Sitting out in their garden, softly singing to herself as she leaned against him. He always loved her voice, and was so humbled that she would share such a gift with him.

He knew she had stage fright and hated singing in front of others. So for her to willingly sing with him made his heart warm.

The image suddenly shattered as he thought of her hurtful words.

SO WE DON'T END UP WITH ANOTHER LORD OF CHAOS!

He opened his eyes and looked down at his wedding ring again.

You can't go back...she doesn't want you anymore...she's afraid of you…

He growled and pulled the ring off, throwing it to the back of the cave.

"I don't need her anyways...I did just fine on my own before I met her…

"Now I can do whatever I want without listening to her lecture me...without hearing her soft giggles...seeing her sweet smiles...yeah...I won't miss her...I won't miss running my claws through her mane...feeling her soft, butterfly kisses...or miss holding her in my arms…feeling her snuggled against my heart…"

He looked over to where he threw the ring. He got up on all fours and crawled over to it.

He picked it up and cried softly as he slipped it back on.

"Yeah...I don't need her…"

---

*Day Seven*

Discord chased away another set of Dragons by turning their large leathery wings into lead. They fell to the ground and instantly turned tail and ran. Their wings would return to normal once they were far enough away from him.

He turned back to his 'home' and curled up in the center.

See how much fun that is? Messing with creatures is what you are! Why fight your true nature?

"Go away...that's not who I am anymore...I'm not the Lord of Chaos…"

Oh no? Well then why did your pretty, little pegasus say otherwise?

SO WE DON'T END UP WITH ANOTHER LORD OF CHAOS!

Discord shut his eyes against the words.

"No...she was just scared...scared for our son…"

Ha! If you really believed that you wouldn't be lurking in here and you'd be out there with her. Face it, you will always be the Lord of Chaos...no matter what you do!

"No...I can't be...Fluttershy would…"

What do you care what she thinks anymore? She betrayed you...stabbed you in the back! You can't possibly love her anymore!

"Yes...yes I do…I will always love her…"

---

*Day Ten*

"Discord!" Her soft voice called. He turned to the mouth of the cave and there she was. His wife!

"Fluttershy? Is that you?" He whispered as he got up off the floor. She smiled at him and held out her arms.

"Of course my love! Please come back with me! I was wrong, I need you...your son needs you…"

"My son?"

"Yes, he's waiting for you...please come home!"

He smiled and walked over to her.

"Oh Fluttershy you don't know how happy I am to hear you say…" As he reached for her she disappeared.

His smile fell and his heart twisted…

"No...NO! WHY DO YOU TORMENT ME LIKE THIS!" He shouted as he picked up a rock and threw it. It shattered against the wall turning into butterflies which flew out the cave.

He fell to the ground and covered his head crying.

"Why do you bring these visions to haunt me?"

I don't bring them...you do...by not letting her go! Rid her from your heart and this torment can end!

"No...I won't forget her...ever...I will never forget my love for her...I can't."

Then suffer the consequences...so long as she rules over you, you will NEVER be free…

"I can't forget her...I won't...I love her too much...Fluttershy...I love you…"

---

*Day Fourteen*

"Discord...Discord why won't you look at me?"

"Because you're not real…" He whispered as he shut his eyes.

"How can you say that? If you'll just turn around...you'll see I'm really here...please Discord."

"You're not real...you're not real...you're not real…" He chanted as he covered his ears.

"Discord please...come home...I need you...I love you...think of me…think of your son...we need you...Discord come home…"

He cried as the voice finally faded away...it wasn't real...it was never real.

No matter how many times he let his heart hope, when he reached for her she would vanish. Then the voice would laugh at how pitiful he was…

Finally he had accepted reality. He knew he had to let her out of his heart, he had to rip her from his soul...

She was gone from his life and he would never have her back. He would be alone for all eternity and it was better that way…

"It's not real...not real...she's not real…she's not...never was." He whispered as he pulled off his wedding ring. He stared at it and cried harder.

"I'm sorry Fluttershy...I can't come back…It was never real..." He tossed the ring away and curled up into a ball.

That's right...now you understand...she never really loved you. She only married you to keep you in line so they would never have to worry about the Lord of Chaos returning.

She'll never want you back, how can she when she's afraid of your magic? Afraid of the monster you are.

Now that you've let her go...you can return to who you truly are.

"No...now I can keep her safe…"

Who cares? Why should you care when she doesn't care about you?

"I don't care...but I'm not the Lord of Chaos...I'm...nothing…"

He curled up further and slowly began to fade into the darkness of him mind...still the last bit of hope clung to the light crying.

No! You can't give up! Go back to her you idiot! She loves you and you love her! Don't give up hope, you have to go back to her! See her one more time and you'll know the truth!

Comments

[Carnation83]

I nearly cried at this chapter. it hurts so much to read his pain.

[Featherclaw]

Very quick, maybe it is just me. idk. anyway, here is my picture for the comment!
sharkattackol.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/broken-heart.png#heart%20break%201600x1313

[TwibraFlattercordlover]

No! You can't give up! Go back to her you idiot! She loves you and you love her! Don't give up hope, you have to go back to her! See her one more time and you'll know the truth!

That's good 'Cordy yer conscious!