“Surround yourself with the best people you can find, delegate authority, and don't interfere as long as the policy you've decided upon is being carried out.”
-Ronald Reagan
“Please send in the next one, Trip.” Galea picked her glasses off of her desk and gingerly put them on. She really had to work on her penmanship, sometimes she wrote so small she could barely read it herself. “Parry, Unit five-nine-six.”
“Yes, Ma’am.” Triplicate, her newest assistant gave a polite nod as he exited her office. Such a nice young stallion, obedient and punctual. If he performed any other way, he would be without a job, so it was good that Trip was such a good fit for the place.
“What number is this?” Galea looked to the stack of papers on her right that was labeled ‘complete’. Every fiftieth one was marked with a gilded paper, so she could track her progress throughout the day. “About two-hundred and forty, I think.” She mused, a small grin crossing her face. “We’re making good time. Almost halfway there.” She did not enjoy giving personal reviews to every member of the guard, but it had to be done. She had already announced to the press her intention of letting go of one-hundred ponies, and now that she was interviewing everypony, it gave every guard in the city time to think about if they’ve done anything wrong.
“Uh...you wanted to see me, Interim-Captain?” The door creaked open without a knock. What poor manners for a guard. Galea picked up her quill and wrote down a small note on the paper in front of her about that, making certain to make the letters the right size this time.
“Yes, please do come in, Parry.” Galea motioned the stallion in with her hoof. “The time has come for your annual performance review.” Galea put down her quill and studied Parry’s file as the stallion sat across from her. “You’ve been with the guard how long, now? Three years?”
“Uh, yeah.” The pearl white pegasus ran a hoof through his short mane nervously. “I’m sorry, but ‘annual performance review’? I don’t think that’s a thing we do around here.” Parry chuckled. “You can’t just start things like that.”
“I can.” Galea answered back, making sure to inject some of her trademark ice into her voice. “From today moving forward, every single guard in the City of Canterlot and on the palace grounds are going to have their performance evaluated every year. If they are found to be below my standards, they will be let go and will be denied re-entry into the guard.” The pony across from Galea had a look of shock, but he quickly shook it off. She did not like that.
“Okay, I mean, I haven’t done anything that bad, really. My quota-” Galea slammed her hoof on the desk, silencing the other pony. She lit up her horn and brought a very real chill to the air.
“I was not done speaking.” Parry looked down to see his breath forming little crystals in front of him. When he looked back up, the once present shock in his eyes had turned to terror. Galea rested back in her seat, letting her magic die out. She idly adjusted her glasses and looked at the pegasus’ file. “Maybe this year you have done well, but this review is retroactive. I have gone over your entire career in the guard.” The stallion opened his mouth, but one quick glance from Galea shut him down. “Do you know how many complaints have been filed against you? Don’t answer, I’ll tell you: thirty-seven. In three years, that’s ten per year. A quarter of those have been sexaul in nature, the rest have been general unbecoming behavior complaints.”
“Do I...get a chance to speak?” Galea nodded. He was learning at least. A little too late, though. “Okay.” Parry sat up straight and fluffed his wings anxiously. “I-I’ll admit, sometimes my hooves slip and I might do some, y’know, vaguely lewd movements, but most of them are genuine accidents. A-and like half of the unbecoming ones are probably just etiquette things because I don’t like to wear my helmet.”
“So let me get this straight…” Galea straightened her glasses and looked Parry in the eyes. “...you make frequent mistakes, and you don’t like to follow the official procedure set forth in the rule books and drilled into you since basic training.” Galea leaned in. “Am I correct in my understanding, Mr. Parry?” The stallion stammered and tried to speak, but she cut him off once again. “Let us not forget that I personally lodged a complaint against you the other day after you...commented on my assets and age.” Galea kept her mostly neutral expression, but inside she wanted to sneer at the poor excuse for a guard across from her. “I’m sorry, Mr. Parry, but I’m afraid we’re going to have to let you go. Please turn in your armor to the quartermaster.” Galea spun her chair around to deter any further conversation or argument. She waited until the door had clicked shut to turn back around and sit Parry’s file on the complete pile.
A knock sounded, and Galea told the pony on the other side to enter. It was Triplicate, of course. Being punctual as always, just as Galea knew he would be. Instead of his usual professional expression, Trip looked worried.
“Interim-Captain Galea, I’m afraid I have a guard asking to see you. I informed him you weren’t taking unscheduled visitors today, but he’s insisting.” Galea cocked her head to the side. What guard could be so bold as to try such a thing?
“Were you given a name?”
“Shining Armor and Vinyl Scratch.”
Galea sneered.
----
Shining tapped his hoof impatiently as they waited for Galea’s secretary to come back. He was not in the mood to be kept waiting, especially after seeing Parry leaving the room. If there was one pony Galea wouldn’t keep around, it was Parry.
“Interim-Captain Galea will see you now, Shining Armor.” The secretary called out. “But she would prefer it if Ms. Vinyl Scratch stayed here.” Shining looked back to Vinyl who rolled her eyes and nodded.
“I won’t be long.” Shining promised as he set his sights on Galea’s door. As he approached it, he knocked on the solid oak and waited for a response. A muffled voice told him to come in, so he opened the door and strode in confidently.
“Shining Armor.” Galea addressed him with an almost malicious tone. “What a surprise to see you back so soon, I thought you were to be gone until tomorrow morning.” Shining Armor took his seat across from the mare and leveled an equally icy glare back at the Interim-Captain.
“We concluded our business in Ponyville early, Ma’am.” Shining Armor may have been pissed, but he wasn’t going to let that change his decorum. She was still a superior, and he wasn’t going to give her a reason to purge him as well. “I saw the headline in The Post and decided to come to the castle. I don’t like being out of the loop.”
“I suppose it’s a good thing. I was going to wait until after my inauguration to get to you, but now that you’re here we might as well get it out of the way.” Shining watched with no small sense of dread as Galea reached into a drawer and pulled out a cobalt-lined folder with his name on it. “Starting today, every member of the guard is getting annual performance reviews, and if you’re not up to standard you are getting relieved of your position.”
Shining’s breath caught in his throat. That did not spell good news for him, considering just a month ago he had gotten in trouble for abandoning his post to go to Twily’s party. Add to that his one argument with Captain Knock Out and his headbutting with Galea herself over his assignment to Scratch, and he knew this wasn’t going to be pretty.
“You joined the guard a year and a half ago, correct?” Shining nodded. “I would say that’s a bit late, but I also see here that you suffered an injury in training that delayed your graduation.” Galea brought the folder closer and studied it. “A broken leg, was it? Does it still affect you?”
“Only when storms roll in.” Shining did not like talking about his injury, it was a point of personal shame for him that was not worth discussing in his eyes. “Other than that, I’m perfectly capable of performing my duty as a guard.”
“That’s good to hear.” Galea was not even looking at him, she was too busy staring at that damned folder. It wasn’t right, she liked to look in ponies’ eyes. He had picked up on that during their last encounter. It’s because her gaze alone was intimidating, so what was different now? “No complaints filed against you, or any disciplinary problems.” That wasn’t right either, Twily’s birthday party thing was a disciplinary problem, he had been punished for it! That should’ve been in his folder. “I know from...personal experience...that you’re headstrong, driven, and principled. Your dedication to the task put in front of you is commendable to say the least.”
This was definitely not the Galea he knew. She should be scolding him for his failures, no matter how small they were. He had directly disobeyed her, so why wasn’t she bringing that up? A pit formed in his stomach.
“I want to recommend you for a promotion to a different department, Shining Armor.” He froze in shock, his mouth agape and eyes aimless. “I said ‘want’ because I cannot fully recommend you until your current assignment is finished. The outcome of Vinyl Scratch’s rehabilitation will be the deciding factor.”
“W-where would I be promoted to, Ma’am?” He figured a senior guard, but she had said a different department entirely. So where would that put him? Royal Protection?
“Well, I’m afraid with your obvious connections to the Princesses, I cannot put you on the Royal Protection detail.” Thank Celestia for small miracles, Shining didn’t know if he could be put on Cadance’s protection detail without melting into a puddle of awkwardness. “We do have an opening in The Department of Equestrian Intelligence, and I think you would be a nice fit. Your drive would be a welcome addition to the operatives of DEqI, trust me.”
Shining had heard about DEqI from whispers and rumors flitting about. Some called them spies, others called them ‘surveillance experts’ and the ones who actually knew things just called them ‘the nerds up top’. No matter what way you carved it, DEqI was not known for their public face or even for what they actually did, it wasn’t exactly where Shining wanted to be. He wanted to be out in the city, helping and protecting ponies, not reading citizen’s mail and worrying about foreign dignitaries.
“I…” He thought about what he was about to say. He didn’t want to give Galea an excuse to fire him. “I think we’re close to Vinyl being fully rehabilitated. I’m thinking a report should be on your desk by the end of the week.” Shining didn’t know how true that statement was, but it was a good cover for now.
“Efficient. Good.” Galea put the folder down and stood up, holding out her hoof for Shining to shake. He stood up and took her hoof in his and gave it a firm shake. While doing that, he momentarily glanced down at his folder, which was open on the desk. There was a note in the front of everything else. He couldn’t read the main text, but he knew that signature anywhere. It was the same signature he saw on his birthday cards every year. “Have a pleasant day, Shining Armor.”
---
Vinyl stood up as she saw Twinkle come out of the office. He looked substantially more pissed than before he went in, which was saying something because he was all kinds of mad before he went and talked to the Ice Queen. The stallion walked right by her, leaving vinyl to catch up.
“Whoa, what’s going on? What happened in there?” Vinyl did not like having to keep up with Twinkle. His legs were significantly longer and when he was mad he trotted way too fast. “Is Canterlot in trouble or something?”
“I had a performance review.” Shining growled out.
“What?” Color Vinyl confused, while a performance review sounded boring it didn’t sound like anything to get this mad over. “Did you get fired or something?” She sincerely hoped not, that would cause all kinds of trouble in her life.
“No, I’m getting a promotion.” Again, Vinyl was left confused. That sounded like a good thing! Plus, it sounded like a good reason to have a celebratory drink or five at home later. Promotions were good! “I shouldn’t have though. Somepony has altered my record and got rid of everything wrong I’ve ever did, or Galea was told to ignore it.”
“Who would even have the power to do that?” Vinyl didn’t know a lot about the inner-workings around here, but she knew there weren’t many positions above ‘Captain of the Guard’. That was sort of one of the biggest authority figures in Canterlot.
“My grandmother.” Shining sneered. “I don’t know what she’s up to, or how she did it, but she’s in with Galea. I saw a note from her in my file, and I’d know that hoofwriting anywhere. They’re up to something, and I don’t know what.” Vinyl was kinda confused, what did Twinkle’s grandma have to do with anything? Why was he acting like she was some sort of mastermind?
“Okay, slow your roll.” Vinyl grabbed the stallion’s armor with her magic. “How do you know your grandma is in with this? What if it’s just like a part of your record or something? What do you guys call it, intelligence? What if she was just digging into some stuff and threw that in there?” Vinyl didn’t see some little ol’ mare pulling the strings behind this, no way. “And, I mean, what does it matter if she did do something anyways? It got you a promotion, shouldn’t you be happy or something?”
“It matters because I didn’t earn it.” Shining turned back to Vinyl. “I want to be promoted because I’m good at what I do, not because of the family I’m from. I don’t want my Grandmother, who hates me by the way, to interfere in my life.” Vinyl highly doubted that Twinkle’s grandma hated him, that didn’t seem really plausible. “Either way, we’re going to pay her a visit just to make sure.”
“Whatever, dude.” Vinyl would go along with it as long as it kept Twinkle off of her case about Sky. Plus, a little intrigue never killed anypony. It might be fun to go investigate a mystery with Twinkle.
----
Shining didn’t bother knocking on the door, after all he lived in the house. Inside, his mother, father, and grandmother were all sitting around the livingroom reading. This was perfect, he knew at least his mom would be on his side in the debacle.
“Shiny!” Both his mother and father stood up from their spots and rushed over to hug him. He graciously reciprocated the hug, feeling semi-calm for the first time in a few days. “What are you doing home?” His mother questioned, giving him a kiss on the cheek.
“Not that we’re complaining.” His dad added with a grin. “I mean, a little warning would’ve been nice, but we’ll forgive you for that one.” Shining laughed and gave his parents both a smile.
“Well, I have some news I want to share with you. A little good and a little bad, I figured I should tell you as soon as I could, seeing as I have a few questions you might be able to answer.” Shining was telling a little lie, he really only had bad news in his mind, but they might see it differently.
“Don’t tell me you got fired, too.” His mother worried as she directed both himself and Vinyl to the couch. “I read the paper and was so worried about you. I know this has always been your dream and I just couldn’t stand to see you lose it.”
“Also, hello Vinyl Scratch.” His father patted the young mare on the back. “We didn’t mean to be rude, I promise. We’re just a bit excited to see Shiny again.” Shining’s father gave a big smile that Vinyl halfheartedly returned.
“I didn’t get fired, Mom. I still have a job…” He knew what the response to the next part would be, he just had to gauge the look on his Grandmother’s face when he said it. “...I actually got a promotion.” His parents hugged him, telling him all sorts of congratulations and niceties. His grandmother on the other hoof, gave a sly knowing smirk.
“Did you hear that, Mom?” Twilight Velvet asked the matriarch. “Shiny got a promotion! Aren’t you proud of him?” Velvet turned back and gave her sun another hug. “I’m so proud of you, Shiny!”
“Guards earn promotions, it’s what they do.” The old mare scoffed. “I don’t congratulate a fish for swimming.” The elder unicorn fixed her purple and black mane with her magic and turned her head away. “Tell you what, get me a grandfoal out of that Princess and then I’ll be proud of you for something.” Shining’s mother was going to speak up, but he held up his hoof to hold her back.
“C’mon, Grandma.” He knew how much she hated when he called her that, it was only Twily who had that privilege in her eyes. “Aren’t you proud all of your hard work paid off? ‘Paid off’ is the right phrase, yeah? That’s what you did with Galea, right?” Satin stood up, a downright evil glare in her eyes.
“You watch your mouth, you insolent colt.” The decrepit mare strode right up to the much bigger stallion and stared him down. “You would do wise to respect your elders, else they might strike you.”
“Mother!” Velvet stepped between the two ponies. “Both of you, what is this about? I won’t have you squabbling in this house unless I know the problem.” Shining, nor his grandmother, moved from their spot. They stood their respective grounds and held their glares.
“Vinyl…” Nightlight moved away from Shining. “Perhaps we should head to the kitchen? I baked some cookies yesterday and I think you’d like them.” Vinyl put up no fight and followed Shining’s father back to the kitchen. Shining was glad there would be no crossfire with Vinyl, otherwise this might get messy.
“She paid off Galea to get me a promotion.” Shining pointed an accusatory hoof at Satin. “I had my review, I saw the file and I saw the note you wrote. I would know your signature anywhere, so don’t try to lie to me!” Velvet looked at her mother, bewildered.
“How dare you insinuate I ‘paid her off’ as if I were some common mobster!” Satin scoffed at the implication and turned her back to Shining. “I would never do something so crass!” It was then time for Velvet to look at Shining.
“Shiny, are you sure of what you saw?” Shining couldn’t believe that his mother was actually questioning him. He had never told her a lie before, not even a little white one. Why was she doubting him.
“I know what I saw. I’ve seen that writing every Hearth’s Warming and Birthday because that’s the only way she will ever say anything positive towards me: in writing.” Shining would not budge. “It was in my file, which was altered because it had no mention of when I bailed to go to Twily’s birthday! Somepony either told Galea to ignore it, or somepony had it scrubbed.” Shining stepped forward. “There’s no reason Galea would have a note written by you if she didn’t have to be reminded of something you wanted her to do.” In his mind, Shining had pretty solid logic. It was damn near irrefutable.
“You know what?” Satin turned around, a half sneer, half grin across her face. “I did pull a few strings to get you promoted, because I figured if I did something nice for my Grandson he would have an ounce of respect for me for once in his miserable little life.”
“Mother, how could you?!” Velvet took a step back, looking positively bamboozled. “We told you, we didn’t want you stepping in to help our family with your position! We wanted our children to achieve their goals by their own means, not because their grandmother is nobility.” Yeah, it was a family ideal, one that Shining had doubled down on in his own life.
“Well what are you going to do now that it’s already done?” Satin questioned. “Tell the Captain of the Guard? Tell the Princesses so they can kick Little Sparkle out of her special classes? There’s nothing to be done, but live with it.” Shining clenched his jaw, the realization of hopelessness setting in.
“Mother, I can’t...I can’t believe you.” Velvet trotted away, exasperated. “He can’t take that position now! It’s...it’s tainted!”
“If he doesn’t, it will be the end of his career. I saved his little job and gave him a promotion.” Both Shining and his mother were silent, drawing a knowing smile from Satin. “See…” The matriarch started. “...idealists such as yourselves are so easily dissuaded by a real challenge. It’s how you’re taken advantage of, you have too many scruples that control you.” Satin trotted back to her chair and sat down. “It’s done. You won’t do anything to change it, I know you won’t.”
She was right, and Shining knew it. He couldn’t change or challenge this without hurting himself or his family. There wasn’t a way out because he cared too much.
----
Vinyl followed Nightlight into the kitchen, where he pulled a jar down from on top of the fridge and opened it up. Vinyl reached inside with her magic and pulled out what looked to be some ginger type cookie. They were surprisingly good coming from a pony without a cooking cutie mark.
“Gingersnaps.” Nightlight motioned. “Made them myself, straight from my mom’s recipe book.” The stallion leaned against the counter and took a cookie out, eating it in one bite. “Let me tell you, she could bake one mean cookie, and I mean ‘mean’. Sometimes I swear those cookies bit back.” Vinyl smiled sort of and sighed a little bit as she took another cookie out of the jar. “Are you alright, Vinyl?”
“Yeah, just had a bit of a rough day.” Vinyl shrugged and kept eating her baked good. In the next room over, she could hear Twinkle and the mares getting mad at each other. It must’ve been going well in Twinkle’s favor if the mares were getting angry.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Nightlight trotted over to the kitchen table and pulled out a chair. “I promise, I’m a really good listener and I can really keep a secret.” Vinyl didn’t know why, but she really trusted Nightlight, maybe it was the fatherly aura or just his kind nature. Vinyl trotted over to the table and took the seat, either way. “There we go! I know you’ll feel a whole lot better if you just let it all out, and of course if you have cookies.” With that, the stallion floated the jar over and sat it on the table. “The cookies are the most important part.” He faux-whispered.
“I have a sister...an adopted sister.” Vinyl wasn’t sure how to start out. She hadn’t ever told the story to anypony, Twinkle was the only pony outside of family that knew and Sky had told him. “When we were younger, after my parents...passed...she got pregnant and gave up the foal after it was born.” Vinyl took a deep breath tried to push all the thoughts of Lily or Sky out of her head. “We found the foal recently, it was part of my rehab with your son. She’s okay now, six with a good family and sisters and everything. I just thought after finally getting some closure I’d be okay with my sister, y’know? I thought we could get better and be family again.” Vinyl looked down at the table and closed her eyes. “I don’t know, I just couldn’t when it was all said and done. I-I was told that I need to make myself happy instead of making myself sad, and I just couldn’t forgive her. I had to let her go, I had to move on and just quit thinking about her.” Vinyl was on the verge of tears, worrying about whether or not she had made the right choice.
“Hey.” A dark blue hoof entered her vision. “Here.” A cookie floated in front of her, which she took and nibbled on. “I actually know what you’re going through, believe it or not.” Vinyl’s head snapped up, her head cocking to the side. “Yeah, I know. I’d be surprised too.” Nightlight picked up two cookies and floated them side by side. “I have a brother, somepony that not even my children know about. You see, he had a gambling problem which got bad. He borrowed money from my mother, and even stole money from Shining’s college fund when Shiny was just a foal.” Nightlight ate one of the cookies by throwing it up in the air and catching it in his mouth. “That was the last straw for Velvet. She wanted me to cut him off and get him out, can you imagine? I couldn’t. Telling my own flesh and blood to stay out of my life or that I never wanted to see him again, no...that wasn’t me.”
“So what did you do…?” Vinyl was genuinely curious. How rare it must be to run into somepony with this problem. How lucky she was to have an opportunity to learn.
“I tried to salvage it.” Nightlight sighed, his usually joyful eyes dying down a little. “I tried to make amends and get him help without my wife knowing. I really just wanted him to get better so Velvet wouldn’t hate me for not tossing him away.” Nightlight sat the other cookie he was holding down on the table and split it in half, giving one half to Vinyl. “It wasn’t worth it in the end. All of the hurt and pain and sadness he brought with him. It nearly cost me my marriage, but I cut him off because I realized that keeping the relationships I truly care about was more important than trying to fix one that was hurting me.”
“Does it get better?” That was all Vinyl truly wanted to know, she wanted to know if she would feel better about this in the morning. She just wanted someone to tell her it would be alright.
“It gets easier to live with.” Nightlight admitted. “You think about it a little less each day, and eventually you don’t really think about it at all. There are moments, though. Little things like Hearth’s Warming dinner or their birthday, or even their favorite song that will just bring all of the memories and hurt back. You might want to see them sometimes, and sometimes you just might see them. It’s not so much about living with the pain, but living with the decision to be in pain.” Nightlight nudged her gently. “You know the song ‘And that’s what really hurts, is that you do it to yourself.’” While it was funny to hear him butcher a good song, Vinyl took the message to heart.
“It’s like somebody dying.” That was the only comparison that Vinyl could make, but she felt it was an apt one. She remembered all of those feelings from after her parents died, all of the little moments that brought it all back. She didn’t want to have to deal with that again.
“Sort of, except we don’t get to choose when ponies die. So it’s a bit easier. You just have to remember why you made your choice, what it’s earned you instead of what it lost.” Nightlight knocked on the table with his hoof. “Now come on, sounds like they’re done arguing now. Might be a good idea to get in while the ceasefire is fresh.” Vinyl stood up and followed the stallion’s lead to the door, where she was stopped by Twinkle’s dad. “If you ever need some fatherly advice or anything, you’re welcome in our home anytime. We don’t discriminate against anypony needing help.” Vinyl just nodded. It was good to see where Twinkle got his good heart from.
----
Shining Armor saw his father and Vinyl return to the living room, but he didn’t really register it. He was too preoccupied with trying to think of some way to get back at his grandmother for interfering in his life. He couldn’t tell the Princesses, she was right, it would only expose his family and Galea to some harsh punishments. The last thing either the Guard as a whole or the Twilight family needed was instability or uncertainty.
It hit him like a train, the one thing he could say to truly hurt his grandmother. He would hit her where he knew it hurt, her legacy.
“Cadance and I broke up.” His mother gasped, while Satin got back up to her hooves with a downright pissed look across her face. “We had a fight, and I decided it wasn’t worth it anymore. I figured I would tell you all once I was done with my assignment, but seeing as how Grandma likes to be in my life so much, I might as well tell you all now.”
“You did what?” Satin spoke through clenched teeth. “Do you know how long it took me to get you into the right school to even be near her? How much posturing it took to convince Celestia to let her foalsit Sparkle?” Satin picked up an elegant cane that sat next to her chair and jabbed Shining in the chest with it. “All for you, to give you a chance to be and do something great! And now you’ve gone and thrown it all away over a little fit?” Satin turned her cane and pushed it against Velvet’s shoulder. “Tell your boy to get some sense. Tell him to go apologize to the Princess right this very instant.” Shining stood defiant as he always did when challenged with something that went against every moral fiber he possessed.
“It’s over, Grandma. I don’t care how much money or influence or how many favors you peddled to get Cadance near me, it’s my life and I made my choices.” Shining slammed his hoof against the floor and rose to his full height, towering over everypony else in the room. “I am not just another piece of some legacy puzzle for you to place, I’m my own stallion and I’ll be damned if you or anypony else tells me how to live my life.” Shining turned to leave, but snapped back. “I’ll take that position, no matter how tainted it is, and I’ll make it into something great. Just to show you that your influence means nothing, just to show you that I am that good.” Shining was breathing heavily now, his anger flaring in full force. “C’mon, Scratch. We have work to do.”
Shining felt strong, confident. For the first time in he didn’t know how long he really felt like his own pony. He was going to forge his own destiny whether his grandmother or the universe or fate liked it or not. He was in charge of his life, and nopony could take that away.
Damn, does this mean we're near the end of the story?
7806087
I think so. I don't think this story will stretch beyond Vinyl's rehab. By my count, I have anywhere from 3-5 chapters left.
I was half expecting Scratch to do something like kiss Shining. That would have been the ultimate deal-breaker with Satin.
And I'd agree that cutting people off is like someone dying. You'll still remember the good times and have them haunt you as time goes on.
Satin is a whorse :3
Also:
You missed a period here I think.
7806127
Huh, I actually didn't think about that. It would've made things more interesting, but it would've given Satin more leverage to fuck with Shining. I'd rather he kept himself strong and independent with next to nothing to be used against him.
7806135
Shit, you right. Thanks for catching that.
h=He had picked up on that during their last encounter.
found an error.
7806210
Thank you, I fixed it.
Yeah, pretty much what I expected from Satin, although I couldn't remember if she was antagonistic or not.
I'm... pretty sure that's what she wants, Shining.
Anyway. If Vinyl is gonna be rehabilitated in the next week... then they need to hold off on their relationship at least that long.
7806108 Shame, that.
7806293
I'm going to be sad when it ends too, but I don't want it to drag on too long. I set out an end at the beginning: Vinyl being rehabbed. Once that happens...well, the point of the story is done and it's over. That's not saying that I might not continue it in some way, I might do a one-shot or two or maybe even a sequel.
7806127
That requires one to have "good" things to remember when you don't easy as hell to cut off ties to enter sides of one's family like we have with my father's side of the family. On a side note take care not to end up on that area with a Irish and Scandinavian decent has once we cut you out we don't see or hear you from that point.
Admittedly, I don't have any life experiences that are close to those described here. As such, my opinion may well be based upon false assumptions. With that caveat, I must say that I find it impossible to sympathize with this incarnation of Vinyl as a character. Was what Glory did wrong? Yes, absolutely. Did she then compound that error by letting things go for so long and accusing Vinyl of neglect? Again, yes. But she is trying to do better and seems to be resolved on continuing that course for the remainder of her life, as near as I can tell. Redemption is a path, not a destination, and she seems to have realized that. Furthermore, aside from those incidents, she is not a bad pony. And yet, Vinyl still considers everything about their relationship ruined and Glory herself to be irredeemable in most respects. Yes, such an incident would leave deep scars and yes, it is unrealistic to expect matters to get better in a relatively short amount of time. The amount of time and effort you've taken to show this is commendable. But a start has to be made somewhere and refusing to even begin to forgive someone when they are honestly sorry for their actions and have resolved to be better is the height of cruelty.
Vinyl blames Glory for inflicting the greatest cruelty one can to a child, perhaps rightly so. But she is doing precisely that to her own sister and considers it justified. An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind, as they say. Furthermore, her words about not trying to bury the past and force a toxic relationship because of blood ties are the opposite of her actions. In ignoring Glory and actively cutting her off from Vinyl's life, she is trying to bury all the good along with the bad and forget anything ever happened between them. Denying such a large part of your life is just as toxic as trying to force a good relationship with someone who you can't help. Lastly, Night Light's comparison is flawed for precisely that reason. The pony he describes is, as you say, someone who needed more help than Night could give. But Glory has been shown to be a caring and good-natured pony, for the most part, that made a horrifically bad decision once. That can happen to any of us, for any number of reasons, and to blame someone for their poor decision-making in a time of great stress is to blame yourself as well.
Don't take this the wrong way. Sadly, the course of events is, I'm sure, quite plausible. But it isn't one that compels me to care about Vinyl as a character. I read stories about flawed characters because I enjoy the hard-won triumph when they overcome or learn to moderate those flaws, to become better people. I don't see that here. It is all the more saddening for me because up until this point, I quite enjoyed this story and its pathos. It was tragic, but not without hope for the future. But this simply isn't something that appeals to me. I wish you all the best in your writing and urge you to continue. You have the talent, and I'm sure there is an audience for you, as all those who have read your work here can demonstrate. But I feel it would be remiss of me not to comment on the matter. If you've actually read this far, thank you for wading through my diatribe.
It seems, about once a year, I find a story that really hooks me. One that will literally make me stay up till 1:30 in the morning to read it, regardless of me needing to work in the morning. But you, by jov, you have done it. Congrats my friend, for spinning me a tale that gives me a smile and a shudder of sadness. I will be staying tuned for more!
Edit: Am I delusional, or did I see a certain snippet of an awesome web series? Back when Shining was having a stare down with the whiskey bottle?
T
You don't survive in the nobility (with any connection to it) without knowing how to play the game... And Shining Armor just played the player. Well done.
7806719
What web series would that be? I didn't intend a reference.
HOOOOOOOOOOOO BOY, I love it! I really love it, good going Shining! Hahah!
And holy shit... this, with the purge and everything else has me thinking... what if they're trying for some kind of Power Play with Cadence and using Shining as some kind of... like hook? I feel like it has something to do with Shining's past relationship with her, I mean... just a theory but I feel like this all involves Cadance and Shining somehow.
Awesome job man!
7806605
I will admit that Vinyl can be an unlikable character at this story at points. She's a sarcastic cynic with a shitty attitude who makes bad decisions. So I think her cutting Glory out is inline with what I've put forth so far.
That being said, I must also admit to some of my own personal failings changing the story. Originally Vinyl was supposed to forgive Glory, and their relationship was going to end on a bittersweet note of reluctant forgiveness but it didn't go that way. I cut someone out of my life when I was younger, only to forgive them later. I will say that maybe this is my way of coping with that, or seeing how it would go if I didn't let them back in. So maybe this is my fault and I truly made a mistake, I don't know.
I know that people desire a happy ending at the end of the day, and I still don't know if I can deliver on that. It's the main reason I haven't written this story in months: I am terrified of getting the ending wrong. I want people to think that the characters got a bit of a raw deal, that they want the characters to do better than they are at the end. At the same time, I want the characters to be better off than they were at the beginning.
I think that's life, really. It's complicated, messy, and not what we expected. WE want a happy ending, but we'll settle for something better than what we started with. I know it's a lot to say when talking about magical horses who use magic, but I want it to be close to real. I think I've hit that balance pretty well so far, and I want to stick the landing as well.
Thank you for reading my story this far, I'm glad you enjoyed it up to this point. I'm sorry I couldn't give you what you wanted. I truly am.
Dude, I think it's time to add the romance tag. It's clear which way Shining's relationship is going.
7807065
But there hasn't been any legitimate romance yet. There has been flirtation with the idea, but I just haven't made that final leap.
Also it will add really immediate expectations for people who pick up the story now. They'll want romance and won't really get it until the end. That seems like false advertising.
7807055
Thank you for your reply and I assure you, your apology is unnecessary. Write the ending you want and stay true to your vision of the story. As I said, there are clearly many people who enjoy it, one person's opinion shouldn't detract from that or your efforts. I fully intend to keep an eye out for any new work from you in the future.
7807945
Well thank you for giving it a chance and I appreciate the feedback.
#SuckOnThatAuthority
7807043 Letterkenny problems... the names of the alcohol reminded me of it then. lol
7806605
The thing is, Vinyl isn't judging Sky any more. She's judging herself. Sky has shown herself to be kind and patient. She's also shown that she's truly sorry for what she's done. She's even made up with Lily, and will probably be a positive influence in her life from now on. All is as right with the world as it can be, yet throughout all of that Vinyl finds she still can't forgive her. Not because of Sky, but because of Vinyl. So she's making the decision - quite logical, from her perspective - that she probably never will. Nothing Sky ever does can make it right between them, so it's better to avoid the inevitable pain of trying.
She's wrong, of course, she's so fucking wrong. But it's an understandable position.
7806746
https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=lyrics+weird+al+another+one+boards+the+bus&&view=detail&mid=BC12736AAD1DFF95E7A7BC12736AAD1DFF95E7A7&FORM=VRDGAR
Satin is so deliciously evil. I love it.