• Published 6th Oct 2014
  • 6,778 Views, 968 Comments

A Scratch On Shining Armor - BaeroRemedy



Vinyl Scratch, being oh so popular with the Canterlot guards, gets one assigned to her to 'rehabilitate' her. This will be fun.

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[Interlude] The Interview

“I'm obsessed with radio. It's a good start to Sunday morning.”

-R. L. Stine

“Are you ready for today, Air Waves?” The voice came over the dinky little speakers that rested in the corners of the cluttered studio. The mare sitting amidst the tangle of wires and microphones gently put her headphones over her ears, making sure they were snug before flipping the audio feed from the speakers to her ears.

“I’m as ready as any of us were for today.” Air Waves raised a light blue hoof to tap the microphone in front of her. “Can you hear me alright? Levels good?” She had yet to learn the new pony in the booth’s name. He was the fourth one this year, and she was starting to get weary of the changes, instead she kept to generalities when addressing him and it seemed to be working. Maybe in the coming weeks she would bother to learn his name.

“We’re all good on my end.” Air Waves looked down at her script and studied a few of the lines. Years of doing this had let her just learn the key points and connect them naturally. “Commercial is ending soon, might want to get ready.” She could hear them very faintly in the background, the ads for this thing and that which nopony really needed. As the advertisement drew to a close, they got a bit louder until the station identifier started to play.

“You’re listening to Ninety-Six point Five, OCNN!” The deep authoritative voice boomed through the headphones and across the airwaves of Canterlot. “Coming to you live from the Palace Park Studios, it’s Air Waves with the Canterlot News Network Hour!” That was her cue to hit her mic and start squawking.

“Hello Ponies. Welcome back to the Canterlot News Network. As always, I’m your host Air Waves.” She said her traditional sign on and got to work with the professionalism that the citizens expected. “We have a special show for you today. Our top story of the day, the ascension of Interim-Captain Galea to full Captain yesterday morning and the decisions she made in her inaugural address. We will get to that in just one moment when Captain Galea herself joins us for an exclusive interview.”

Air Waves was proud of herself for this. She had pushed for the interview by herself, contacted Galea’s office and stayed on hold for hours over three separate days to get this interview. She had scheduled it as soon as Galea had taken over as Interim-Captain, but fate had delivered a small miracle unto her. Now she had the first interview with a newly minted Captain just one day after her inauguration.

“Instead, we will lead with our smaller stories today.” Air Waves straightened the paper in front of her and skimmed over the details as quickly as she could. “Right Hook, the boxer hospitalized from the magical storm the other day, has woken up from her coma and is now responsive. She is in stable condition and is expected to recover fully in a few months time.” The next story was not one she relished in, it was gossip and tabloid journalism, but it was in her feed for her to read. “Next, some news from the socialite sphere of Canterlot: an anonymous source close to Princess Cadance has divulged that the Princess of Love is no longer with her longtime partner, Shining Armor. It is unknown why the couple split, but the source said that, and I quote, ‘there was a lot of crying. I mean, like, a lot of crying.’ We’ve reached out to Princess Cadance herself for confirmation, but she has declined to comment. Now, we’re going to Clear Skies for the weather.”

Air Waves killed her mic with the click of a button and sent a signal with her wing for the booth tech to switch the feed to the prerecorded weather segment. She took a deep breath and tried to focus on the upcoming interview with the Captain. If she was honest, it was going to be a slaughter. Some of the stuff Galea had said had been unthinkable, or at least unforgivable. As the first pony to confront her, Air was not going to go easy.

The little pegasus’ bright golden eyes and curly blue and white mane made her look unassuming and non-threatening, but she hadn’t gotten her degree in investigative journalism to be a toothless voice on the radio. She had fangs, and she was going to use them.

“You’re back in three…two…” The booth tech hit a button at the same time that Air Waves turned on her mic, sending her live across the air. “Go get ‘em, Air.”

“Welcome back.” Air Waves scooted closer to the microphone. “In Manehattan today, tragedy struck when a pane of glass from a skyscraper came loose and fell forty-five floors to the street below. There were no fatalities, but several ponies were sent to the hospital with lacerations, including two foals who were on vacation with their parents.” Air shifted her eyes to the next item on the list, but before she could open her mouth the voice of the unknown tech came through her headphones.

“Captain Galea is here and ready for the interview.” That was early. Well, punctual for Air Waves. One of her old teachers always said ‘if you’re early, you’re on time. If you’re on time, you’re late, and if you’re late, don’t bother showing up.’ Seems Galea had taken some of the same lessons from her own teachers.

“Well, listeners, we are going to send you to commercial because Captain Galea just walked into our studio.” Air took off her headphones and set them down on her cluttered desk. “We will be right back with our exclusive interview and look into the mind of Canterlot’s newest role model.” Air pointed at the tech with her wing and the feed cut clean. “Send her in, please!”

The door to her studio clicked as the ‘On Air’ sign above the door went dark. There was a hesitation before the door opened and in walked the currently most feared mare in all of Canterlot. The cold leveled glare and the neutral color palette would make most ponies uneasy, but Air Waves only saw a tougher nut she was determined to crack.

“Good Afternoon, Captain Galea!” The petite pegasus gave her cheeriest and most upbeat smile and voice. “It’s an honor to have you come on our show! I am so excited that we have the chance to pick your brain so close to your inauguration!” False sense of security was going to be her friend here, she had to let Galea underestimate her to get the upper hand later on.

“It’s my pleasure, Ms. Waves.” Galea held out her hoof, which Air took and shook delicately. “You know, I always thought you were a unicorn. I don’t know why, but the little picture I always had of you in my head included a horn.” Air kept her smile, but inside she was furious. That had been her whole career as a journalist, snubbed in this town because their ideal pony included one horn and no wings.

“I know, success is supposed to be limited to those with the proper appendages, but as you can see we’ve both overcome our lack of horns. Either on our heads or…elsewhere.” That earned a raised eyebrow and very small smirk from the Captain.

“I think you and I will get along just fine, Ms. Waves.” Galea sat down in the chair opposite Air’s own and slipped the headphones over her ears. “Do I have control over the microphone?”

“No.” Air responded as she took her seat and put on her own headphones. “I control both your microphone and mine.” They had learned their lesson after one guest cut their own mic to avoid talking about something, now Air had the power in the room. “Are we back yet?” She asked the tech.

“Thirty seconds.” The voice came through both of the mares’ headphones. “Are both of you ready?” Air nodded and looked towards the Captain, who gave a very curt signal in the affirmative.

“We’re going to start with a few easy questions about how the inauguration went, how you felt about taking the position, and then we’ll transition into your speech.” Galea was following along, nodding at most of the things that were being said. “If the questions get too harsh, just let me know and I will back off.” That was all posturing and both of the mares knew it. Galea would never request something like that due to coming off as weak, and Air Waves would never back off even if the Captain asked.

“Very well. I’m ready whenever you are, Ms. Waves.” Galea straightened her posture and adjusted her headphones magically. Air counted down the seconds as they were recited by the tech until it fell to one. The microphones turned live and they were broadcasting across Equestria once more.

“Welcome back to the Canterlot News Network, ponies.” Air Waves suppressed an excited breath as she looked at the unicorn across the table. “I am live with the newly inaugurated Captain Galea for our exclusive interview. Captain Galea, it’s an honor to have you here today.”

“It’s an honor to be here, Ms. Waves.” Galea responded. “Thank you for hosting me. You know this is the only place I would want to have my first interview. I’ve always said that radio is the truest form of reporting. Things can get lost in print, context and tone. Words can’t be twisted on the air.” Air wasn’t sure if Galea really believed the shit she was trying to shovel, or if the Captain was just trying to be flattering and semi-relatable.

“So how about we start with getting to know you as a pony before we get to know you as the Captain.” Air transitioned away from the greetings and went into the fluff piece stuff. “Why don’t you tell me and the rest of Equestria a little about yourself?”

“What should I talk about, Ms. Waves?” Galea questioned.

“Tell us where you were born, what your parents did, how long you were a guard, what you did under Captain Knock Out.” Air wanted to throw the softballs out first, get Galea to think that she was truly in a safe place that was going to treat her easy.

“I was born right here in Canterlot.” Galea started, seeming to relax a little. “I was born right in the Palace hospital. My mother was one of Princess Celestia’s assistants, and my father was a member of the Guard. Needless to say, I’ve always had a certain affinity for the bureaucracy of Canterlot. I was born into red tape and raised by it.” There was a certain pride in those words that Air was going to hang onto for now. “When time came to enroll in the guard, I did so without hesitation. I rose through the ranks at a pace yet unseen for a mare, until I was Assistant Captain under Knock Out. It took me fifteen years to climb from Staff Sergeant to a desk job, and five to finally get to be Captain Knock Out’s assistant.”

“What did you do while you were Captain Knock Out’s assistant? Most ponies would assume paperwork, scheduling meetings, and things of that ilk.” Galea fought back a tiny sneer, like she had just been degraded.

“You would be partially correct, yes. I did file paperwork and schedule meetings, but I also drew up schedules for the Captain to approve, I pored over cases to push to the House of Nobles and the Princesses themselves.” Galea’s voice was getting more intense as she spoke. “I kept the Guard running while Captain Knock Out was busy.”

“You take pride in your work, then?” Galea blinked and caught her passion. Air could see her reel it in and regain her stoic composure. The unicorn raised her hoof to sweep her short mane to the side.

“Of course I do.” Galea responded with a nod. “The ponies of this city have and will always be my number one priority. Every step I take towards making this city a better and safer place will always fill me with pride. Every moment I spend doing something good for this city is never a moment wasted.”

“So getting rid of one-hundred guards was a matter of pride for you?” The teeth were coming out to catch the Captain off guard, and it worked. The unicorn’s eyes widened for a split second, then she narrowed them to slits.

“It was a matter of safety. The guards I let go were ones that had committed infractions, broken rules, or done harm to the citizens of this city. None of them were innocent in their dealings or somepony who had contributed greatly to the guard.” Galea had a bad side and now Air was firmly on it, and that was exactly where the pegasus needed to be.

“Are you sure? You can state with one-hundred percent certainty that every one of those ponies deserved it? That they had never done anything good with their position?” Air leaned in and glared at her adversary.

“I-” Galea started, but Air cut her off.

“What about their families? Their husbands or daughters or foals who were depending on the money coming from their jobs? Who is going to hire a pony who was fired by the guard as part of a massive PR stunt?” Air had wasted no time in looking into the list of names that had been made public. There were veterans and rookies alike, most with family of some sort.

“What I did, I did because it was necessary.” Galea reasserted. “I needed to send a message that slip ups or mistakes are not allowed anymore. Zero tolerance is my policy now.” Galea sat back and her chair and relaxed a little, just enough to make Air feel confident.

“If you have a zero tolerance policy, then why is there currently an active rehabilitation case being carried out by a member of your guard? Is…” Air picked up a file she had been given by one of her own contacts in the palace, a name scribbled across it. “...Vinyl Scratch the only one in the entirety of Canterlot who deserves a second chance? Or is it because you are too afraid to reassign the guard on the case?”

“I would appreciate it, Ms. Waves, if you did not assume things about me or my staff.” Galea’s sneer had turned into a full-blown scowl and her glare had reached full intensity. “That rehabilitation case was one of Captain Knock Out’s personal projects and has the blessing of Princess Celestia herself. I will not take away one of Captain Knock Out’s last remaining legacies.”

“Will you continue the rehabilitation program if this one goes well, or will you cut it entirely?” Air tapped on the folder idly, just quiet enough so it would be barely audible over her microphone.

“I believe it will be on a case-by-case basis.” Galea responded curtly.

“So there will be some tolerance?” Air questioned. “Just on a case by case basis?” Galea squirmed in her chair and took a deep breath. Usually it wouldn’t be audible, but microphones were a wonderful thing. “Because you just said you have a zero-tolerance policy.”

“It’s…” Galea bit her lip and shook her head, the one time that Air had ever seen any sort of emotion more than disgust and boredom. “It is complicated, Ms. Waves. Certain things are still in flux and are uncertain. Certain programs will be decided upon once the time is appropriate and a decision is called for. The rehabilitation program and zero-tolerance policy is restricted to the Guards themselves and not the citizenry. If Vinyl Scratch’s case goes over well, we will review the way rehabilitation is conducted and see if it is feasible for development or if it should be thrown to the wayside like so much rubbish.” Galea sat back, a satisfied smirk on her face. The Captain thought she was out of the woods, but Air still had a few more knives left to throw.

“Okay, so let’s talk about the Thestrals.” Air had nothing against her race’s cousins, but they were a point of contention that needed to be discussed. “This reinstitution into the guard is going to cause a lot of ripples across Canterlot. Fine Print of The Canterlot Post wrote in the special edition this morning-” Air held up the morning edition in her hooves and read aloud. “-’Jobs in the Guard have always been limited since Celestia’s decision to cut the hiring budget. With the inclusion of Thestrals in the hiring pool, I have sources from inside of the Guard expecting more firings to accommodate the Bat Ponies, or more limited hiring pools and less guards out on the street during the day.’” Air put down the paper and looked at Galea. “Now, I agree with your decision. I think that the Thestrals have suffered the stigma of traitors for far too long, and I think they do deserve to be let back into the Guard. But you were asked about specifics about the plan and have offered none, and now ponies are panicking about their jobs. Ponies are worried there will be more firings and they will be replaced. What do you have to say about that?”

“I have to say that I have not given the press a plan yet, because I do not have a concrete plan yet. For now, they are free to enter into guard training like everypony else in this city and that’s the plan. Later on I will introduce a hiring initiative that will benefit the Thestrals directly.” Air cocked her head to the side and smiled wide at Galea.

“So you’re saying you have no plan?’ The little pegasus asked politely.

“That is correct.” Galea responded.

“But you had the announcement planned?” Air adjusted herself in her seat and fluttered her wings nervously. Another trap was almost successfully sprung.

“I had discussed it with Captain Knock Out prior and had pushed for reintegration for as long as my position let me.” Galea raised an eyebrow at Air’s obvious tell. “It had always been a plan of mine since I first joined the guard.”

“So you didn’t have a plan for the Thestrals, and yet you had a plan for the Nobles that you had been looking into for-” Air flipped through a transcript of Galea’s speech until she found the right tidbit. “-five years. So five years on a plan for the corrupt Nobles, and twenty-plus years to think of something for the victimized Thestrals, and yet you have nothing.” Galea opened her mouth to defend herself and began speaking, but Air hit the cut-off on the unicorn’s microphone. “Now let’s discuss the Nobles, since we’re on the subject.” Another death glare sent her way by the Captain. “You said in your speech that the Nobles were corrupt and not ‘pure’ enough to lead, you said that only the alicorns were fit enough to lead us as a country because ‘mere mortal ponies are too easily swayed.’ Yet, Princess Celestia has had her fair share of gaffes over the years, like cutting the hiring budget instead of looking into wasteful spending for the Palace, or her closure of the crystal mines in the mountains to preserve the mountain’s exterior. Or!” Air had her fair share of grievances with the Princess, and now was the time to air them. “Or, when she gave special treatment to a Griffon ambassador who paid for her personal apartment’s renovations.” Air looked up at Galea with a hungry fury. “Unless you can promise all of Equestria that Princess Celestia and Princess Cadance will be on the shortest leash to ever be made, then I think that concerns need to be discussed.” Air slammed her hoof on the mic button for Galea and gestured for the Captain to speak.

“I am aware of the concerns some ponies have with Princess Celestia’s decisions.” Galea growled out. “I am looking into certain clauses in the Articles of Power Celestia herself signed over five-hundred years ago to make sure that she could be held accountable when the time came to give her authority back.” Air cocked her head to the side, interested to hear the angle that Galea would spin here. “In it, it is stated that the co-ruler of Equestria or the next pony in power has the ability to take away certain privileges from Celestia so she can fully focus on her duty of ruling the country.”

“Who is the next pony in power, at the moment?” Air was very interested in this part of Galea’s plan. Seeing the Captain go up against Celestia would be a punch-out that nopony would want to miss.

“Right now, it is both myself and Princess Cadance. She presides over the House of Nobles, and I am Captain of the Guard. If something were to happen to Princess Celestia, we would take over until something was decided, therefore we are the next ponies in power.” Now that was a very interesting thought, and very suspicious. Had Galea been planning for something like this?

“What privileges would you take from her?”

“Her personal student. Right now all of her free time is devoted to that little filly, and it’s time that would be better suited tending to her duties.” Air could practically hear House Twilight screaming in rage from here, and it was music to her ears. “The last student she had ran away and hasn’t been seen since, so it’s obvious that the results aren’t there. I would propose to Princess Cadance that we put the filly-Twilight Sparkle-into Celestia’s magic school full time and forget the personal students.” Galea took off her headphones and dropped them. “Now we’re done here, I’m a busy mare.”

Air signalled for the tech to kill the feed and go to commercial. This had gone a lot better than expected, and Air Waves could not be happier.

Author's Note:

Have something a little off the cuff and fun.