A ragtag trio of ponies trying to find there place in the E.R.L ((Equestrian Racing Reague)) But things never go to plan.
Blitz Cabana and Rachet, are trying to Get there Racing team The Firebolts off the ground, But Will they Get by with Blitz's Hot headed attitude, Cabanas Laziness, and Rachet's crude behavior and machinery?
ERL is a Racing league for all Pegasai that wish to compete, to balance out the field and make racing more fair Pegasai are allowed to Use Simple Exo suits and thrusters. Provided they are powered by either Solar or Lunar gemstones This allows all Pegasai to compete on a level Playing field. Tracks are Laid out in Cities around Equestria, and GPS Limited so Pegasai cant Cheat by flying over mountains or cutting corners.
Without even reading, I can tell the grammar will be "interesting" to say the least. It seems to be an interesting idea, and reminds me of a video I saw that I will most likely provide later. I will definitley read this later, if not next.
Ah, the author's notes cleared up the grammar, but you need to tone things back a little you said PG-13ish, but this is worse than any movie in that catagory I've seen. In short, get a proofreader, tone it back a bit, do some better worldbuilding, and you might have something. No fav yet, but maybe in the future.
Might want to write a bit of a sidestory, with your permission of course.
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Yeah that would be cool with me, Fell free to write a side story if you wish!
I said its kinda round the PG-13ish area cause there wont be any actual Like sex, or hefty gore. There will be innuendo, and cuts and bruises and fights. But no actual death and stuff. So That's why I said it was in that area, Cause its not like full on 18+ but definitely not for younger readers.
Also the world building will be coming in the subsequent chapters. This is kinda just the introduction to the main characters and concepts, As they travel throughout Equestria Im going to be building heavily on the world. I do Know the Vid your Talking about too. I actually had this idea bout a year ago and wrote dozens upon dozens of notes on it. Though It just so happened when I started to write and put my idea down that vid came out. But it is kinda nice to have something to point at and say. "Its kinda like that." ^^
4828096 Since I don't know much about this world you've made, it'll leave a lot of creativity to me. I'll have fun with this. I'll start it when I feel like it.