X: Size Trumps Determination
(Not as long as the others, and for that I apologize. Still it's setting the stage.)
(Oh, and look at this, if you like.)
You felt hollow as you walked up the stairs that led to your old apartment. Not only hollow, but also in great pain, as your wounds plagued your every step. After the shock had worn off you had vaulted the table, and fought the massive stallion, desperately trying to get Applejack away from them. Needless to say, size trumps determination nine times out of ten. After being thrown from the bar, you had stumbled, staggered, and limped your way back to the apartment. Or, at least, you had made it to the door, only to find it locked once again.
You vaguely remembered locking it, and so you figured that your sister wasn’t home just yet. You couldn’t tell whether you were relieved that she wasn’t home, or whether you were upset about it. You just leaned on the door for a moment while you caught your breath. As you readied yourself to open the door you heard a voice call out your name. It was a voice you hadn’t heard since you left the apartment. You turned your head to see an elderly mare approaching you.
Mrs. Field was one of your old neighbors, and she was known throughout the building for her amazing cookies, and good cheer. You smiled weakly at her, before looking away from her, not wanting her to see the sorry state you were in. She got closer, and she said your name once again.
“Hello, Mrs. Field. It’s been a while.”
“Oh yes, your sister was quite distraught when you left. She spent almost a week just crying. I never did find out why you left, though.”
“It’s a long, and sad story, Mrs. Field. I don’t want to burden you with my woes.”
“Nonsense. You’re sister won’t be home for another hour or so, and I don’t want to think about you just sitting her for an hour with nothing to do. So, you come with me, and I’ll whip up some cookies for you.” You open your mouth to protest, but she’s already heading back down the hallway, cutting off any potential response you could make. You reached into your bag, and you ripped a single page out of your journal. You scrawled a note on it, stating where you were, and that she should come by.
With the note firmly secured to the door you turned, and followed Mrs. Field down the hall. When you finally made it to the door she had only a smile for you. She let you into her apartment, and then she ushered you into the kitchen. You took a seat at the small table, and then you placed your head in your hooves. Ten minutes passed in silence, and then a plate of cookies was placed in front of you. You saw they had small bits of chocolate in them, as well as some peanut butter.
“You still remember my favorite cookie?”
“Mrs. Field never forgets a favorite, dear. Now have a cookie, and tell me what seems to be troubling you. Oh, and why you’ve come back after so long.”
You looked Mrs. Field in the eyes as you recounted the gist of why you were finally back, as well as why you looked the way you did. By the time you finished Mrs. Field no longer had her usual smile on her face. Instead there was just a large frown on her face.
“Oh my. Dear, you need to get back Applejack. The longer you wait the less your chances are of getting her back unharmed. Or even at all.”
“You think I don’t know that!” You slammed a hoof on the table as you shouted at her. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Field. I shouldn’t yell at you. It’s not your fault.”
“No, it’s not. But I understand what you’re going through.” A gentle knocking came at the door to the apartment, and you quickly glanced at the clock, realizing that an hour had passed. You looked back at Mrs. Field, and she gave you a sympathetic smile. “I’ll be there in a moment, dear. Just hold on.” She looked back at you, and then she stood up. “I’ll let her into the living room. Come in when you’re ready to.”
Mrs. Field walks out of the room, leaving you alone with the plate of cookies, and little else to distract you. You hear the door open, and then the voice of your sister. You can’t quite make out the words, but just hearing her voice is enough to push you over the edge. A few tears make their way down your face, and you quickly wipe them away. You push back from the table, and you stand up. You turn to look at the doorway to the living room, and you take a deep breath.
You step into the living room, and you see that your sister is sitting in such a way as to prevent her from seeing you unless you move in front of her. She and Mrs. Field weren’t really talking all that much. Mrs. Field noticed you behind Sunburst, and she made a small gesture for you to go ahead. You took a tentative step forward, and then another. It seemed to stretch for hours, but you knew it was only a matter of seconds.
You heard a gasp as you entered Sunburst’s field of vision, but you didn’t turn right away. Instead, you stopped, and then waited a moment. You turned to look at her, and tears were streaming down her face. Every part of you screamed out that you should embrace her, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. Your name was the first thing she said, and for the following minutes, it was the only thing said in the room.
“Why did you come back?”
“I came to see you. But more than that, to ask you some questions. But none of that matters now.”
“Wha… Why does that not matter?”
“Because your pimp took my marefriend, and I can’t get her back!”
“My…”
“Yes, Sunburst, your pimp! I wanted to find you, so I went to the Ruptured Duck, looking for your pimp, and he just foalnapped Applejack from right in front of me! And he had a stallion with him who I couldn’t even budge.”
“Lock Jaw.”
“Yeah, him. Now you’re going to help me get Applejack back. You have a way into all of the meeting places for the pimps of the city.”
“You want me to what?” You took a step closer to her, and she backed into the chair as far as she could.
“You, dear sister, are going to help me to find my girlfriend. And if we have to scour every whorehouse in this city, we will. That mare was the first pony I told about what happened here. I’m not going to just let go of her. She wouldn’t leave me, and I won’t leave her.”
“Dear, please calm down.” Your vision clears and you realize that you were just inches from your sister, and you had a hoof pressing on your sister’s chest hard enough that it actually hurt you. You quickly recoil, looking down at your hoof as though it was covered in blood. And, for just a moment, it was.
“I’m sorry…”
“I’ll help you.” You look up at her, and she has a tiny smile on her face. “I’ve never seen you so passionate about anything, and if this is what you want then I’ll help you.” You move closer to her, and then you embrace her.
“Thank you.”
Sunburst unlocked the door to the apartment, and you followed her in. She sighed as she picked her way past all the debris, and you took extra care not to step in anything this time. When you finally made it to the kitchen you stopped Sunburst, and she looked back at you. You pointed at the letter, and her face dropped.
“You’re actions in the past made things hard for me as I tried to find a new home. Just days ago I finally came to terms with everything that happened. Applejack is the one who got me to open up. I was going to start telling more ponies about what happened, until I would finally get to Scootaloo, and tell her the truth.” You grab a letter, before you drop it. You then pull out the crumpled up letter. “Then I got this from you. Two years, Sunburst. Two years with nothing, and then this? I couldn’t deal with it, so I buried it, hoping to run from yet another problem.
“It didn’t work, though. Scootaloo and her friends tried to go searching for buried treasure, and they found it. Scootaloo had her whole past laid out to her without a single bit of forewarning. Now she hates me, and you.” You soften your tone as you continue. “But if you help me in this, I’ll forgive you. You didn’t cause all of this, but you didn’t help things either. All I ask is that you get me through this in one piece.”
“I’ll do it. But when we’re done I’m leaving the city. I’ve been saving bits for the past two years, and I finally have enough to pay off all my debt.”
“Just how much do you have?”
“Just over twenty thousand bits.”
“I’m not even going to ask…”
“I didn’t get it all that way! Most of it I earned through actual jobs. But once you have your first time you’ll want to keep doing it till you can’t even walk straight.”
“We are not having this conversation! Sweet Celestia, Sunburst, I don’t need that kind of talk, especially from you.” She just smirked at you in response. “Whatever. I need to know all the pimps you know of in the city. We’ll start with them, and work our way out till we cover the whole city.”
The next few hours were spent poring over old maps of Manehattan, as well as digging through Sunburst’s memory, and dredging out just a few names. You pinpointed their locations, and with some deductive reasoning you picked your first, and most likely, target. They were just a short distance away, and so you hoped that it would reveal something useful.
“We’ll start our search tomorrow morning, bright and early. I want to cover as much ground as we can, as fast as we can. But for now, I suggest we get some sleep. I want to be well rested for what’s coming up over the next few days.”
As you turned to head to your old room your sister called out your name. “Don’t call me that. You know I hate my name.”
“Sorry, but I want you to know that I’m here for you completely. I haven’t taken any drugs since you left. I want to help you get your mare back, no matter the cost.”
“Thanks, Sunburst. Now get to bed, we’ve got a long day ahead of us.” You walked to your room, and you tossed your saddlebag onto your desk as you had done for years. Then you sat down, and pulled out your journal. You glanced at the clock, and then you began writing. Several pages later, and you pushed back from your desk, all your thoughts recorded. Another glance at the clock revealed that you had spent almost an entire hour just writing down all your thoughts for just one day.
With a groan you climbed out of the chair, and you walked over to your bed. You climbed into bed, and then you looked out the window. “I’m coming to get you, AJ. If I have to deal with every lowlife in this city to get you, I will.” You quickly fell asleep, and your dreams were filled with grim visions of the future.
(The stage is set. Let the great search begin...)
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>Just about to go to sleep.
>See update.
>Can't help reading.
>I'm feeling better and can't wait for more.
>Damn you, you evil genius.
From the start, this story has been one of my favorite AJ romances...and now this? I don't think my heart can take the strain of the awfulness of the situation. You made us love AJ and then have her kidnapped by an ass of a pimp?
If she is harmed they're going to have to make a murderous rampage tag just for what the protagonist will do to all those scumbags.
Great story so far I can't wait till the next chapters man. I'm going to recommend this to my friend because I think he would really like this story. What a twist with the last chapter I couldn't believe it great job
934285 Stop making sense damnit! Screw it, I'm going to sleep.
934270
>Getting ready to kill people in Fallout
>Sees update
>Pauses Fallout and reads chapter, very well done by the way.
>Sees this person commenting again
>Thought I'd copy his commenting style and say hi
934305 Oh! Hey! I was just about to go to bed. You should add me on Skype, so we don't flood the stories comment section again.
934305 My Skype username is on my page.
934310
Okay, will do.
934331 Well, I'm off to bed, gotta wake up early to see my cousin that's visiting, I haven't seen him in a year. Night!
I feel better after reading this, can't wait to see what happens.
poor Applejack ....... heres to hoping she hasn't and wont be raped. DONT EVEN THINK ABOUT PUTTING RAPE INTO THE STORY
'You' fight 'your' way into the whorehouse only to find out 'your' Applejacks in another cas- I mean whorehouse
"You're sister..."
"You're actions..."
I would enjoy pointing out that While they look for Aj, She is fighting her captors and winning. Trust me, that stallion from hurricane fluttershy doesnt have the muscles AJ does. AJ would just... well.. win.
934285 Earlier in the story I made it clear that the police simply gave up on the investigation regarding his parents death. Why would he go to them, when they don't seem to really care about the lives of the ponies involved. As for Celestia? Well, since he's an earth pony, and he doesn't trust the police he'd have to contact Celestia himself. And what evidence could 'you' provide that would convince her that what you are saying is true? Sure, Celestia could take the time to confirm all of this simply by contacting the other elements of harmony, but 'you' aren't quite thinking straight, given all that's happened. I am aware of the fact that what you suggested would make sense, and I have already resolved to tackle that issue in the coming chapters.
934285 Agreed. I would go to the police and tell them that one of the Elements of Harmony was kidnapped; then again, in a situation like this all the stress would probably keep you from thinking straight.
Damn cliffhangers good story didn't expect him to forgive his sister so quickly.
934285 Thats exactly what i was thinking. Dosent matter how big your bouncer is Celestia could gut him if she wanted.
Yeaa but what if the others help
Oh my Celestia this story is amazing! I'e been following since chapter 6 and i REALLY LOVE THIS
I can't wait to see what "you" does to save AJ. I really do enjoy this story and it's really exciting 
MOAR. I can't sleep!
Ugh if I could travel to worlds I would grap my shotgun find that ass blow the whole building up get applejack find the apartment donated a bunch of bits then go to pony grille and never leave there my rants done for the day and I gotta wait til tommorow to kill people and stuff on NW and dayz>>940391 pony grille god damn auto correct on this iPad ponyville
940394 take me with you when you go there! three reasons, save Applejack,
kick some ass 
and actually see what it's like in Equestria 
I needs MOAR!!!!!
Wait. Why does this pussy walk back to his apartment when his marefriend is about to get raped. ME SO CONFUSED
Huh, I thought Sunburst hated the work she was doing. Guess not.
i1.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/008/549/If%20you%20know%20what%20I%20mean..png
Well, I almost made it through chapter 10 untill i couldn't bear it any longer.
first, putting the entire story in first person perspective was a turnoff for me. This character is not me, and would frankly be better off as a character in themselves, without constantly referring to the reader. WHile many people like this approach, I find it off-putting.
next, why go see a pimp when you know she still lives there. she will return eventually.
second, returns to apartment to meet old aquantance with information readily available. this made the entire visit to pimp exist solely to prolong the story through the damsel in destress being kidnapped.
then waits several hours and calls it a night. um... your marefriend was just kidnapped by equine traffickers. after you have a good night's sleep i'm sure she will be just fine and dandy.
now that that's out of the way, I did enjoy some of the writing in the ponyville portion of the story. but it wasn't an extreamly good piece of fanfic. this story is borderline thumbs down. meaning it was bad enough not to finish, but had some redeaming qualities that kept me from hitting the red thumb.
" “Nonsense. You’re sister won’t be home for another hour or so, and I don’t want to think about you just sitting her for an hour with nothing to do. "
should be "here"
one issue I saw
"you're actions...."
it should be "your actions"
I've been putting off reading this for a while. The grim dark overtones are outside of my normal comfort range for this setting. (seriously, when it comes to rape, murder, etc. in the FiM universe I immediately break down, hard.) I really hope this turns out well. I'd really hate for anything bad to happen to AJ.
[youtube=www.youtube.com/watch?v=seRhXyoNrGI]
I havent felt these feels since I played heavy rain, dude what have you crafted
1251915 BUCK YEAH!!
[img]shit-just-got-real[/img]
This scene... just replace drugs with mares
2019320
DO I LOOK LIKE A COP?!?