Chapter 8
"Hey you guys want to go to Sugarcube Corner for lunch?" Spike asked Rainbow and Applejack after knocking on the farmhouse's door. They appeared to be closer then normal, they were almost leaning on each other. Have they been in there since we left yesterday? Damn...
They both looked at each other to see the others opinion. The two mares shrugged simultaneously with a "Sure."
***
"We're almost there." Spike started stretching, preparing his body for anything that that pink bitch has to throw at him. "Be ready..."
"What are ya talkin' about?" Applejack questioned as they neared the bakery.
"Wait." Rainbow took the hint. "Are you still scared of Pinkie?" She asked with a cackle.
"No, I'm not scared anymore." Spike adopted a look of determination that went endlessly off into the distance, but then quickly re-joined them. "Alright, if she comes at me, jab her in the ribs with this bottle." He handed them the green, tinted glass he found on the ground.
"We're not doing anything to Pinkie." Rainbow smacked the bottle out his hand. "You're being a dumb-ass."
"You hear that AJ?" Spike tried to use her new relationship against her. "She said dumb-ass. Get her."
"Ah'm okay with it." She smirked and wrapped her hoof around her as they made it to the door of the bakery. Pinkie popped out of the doorway, as if she was expecting them. Applejack immediately withdrew her hoof from Rainbow's shoulder.
"Hi guys!" She greeted with enough cheer and sweetness to kill a diabetic. "Did you come here to eat? Pfft, It's a bakery of course you came here to eat! That's just silly." She ran outside and rounded the three and pushed them into her home. "What do you all want to eat? My triple choco taco- OH! What about Quadruple choco tacos!" She was hopping around the three of them, lost in her own little world. She eventually bounced into the sunlight long enough for the three of them to get a glimpse of her face.
"Pinkie!" Rainbow cried. "What happened to your face?" She had scorch marks on her face from where Spike had burned her to escape. She stopped bouncing and faced them.
"Oh, one of my experiments didn't work out so well..." She lied. "Turns out that gasoline will not make cupcakes cook faster... Or taste better..." She glanced at Spike out of the corner of her eye to see him smirking at her. You clever bitch.
"Oh, sugarcube..." Applejack cooed. "Ah have some things that will help you with that-"
"Don't worry about it AJ!" Pinkie suddenly reverted into bouncing again. I'll go get you all some tasty treats!" After that, she disappeared into the kitchen.
The three of them sat themselves down to a table. The two mares just stared at Spike. "Seriously? You're scared of That?" Rainbow baited. "The monster that's making us cupcakes?"
"I'm telling you, it's just a front." Spike warned. "Behind that mask of deceit, is a satanic demon!"
"Why exactly did ya bring us here anyway?" Applejack asked. "If you do anything to hurt her, I'll make sure to repay it by tenfold."
"Tenfold? Really? Will that be within a fortnight?" Spike laughed. "And give me some credit! I put you two together!"
"Ya didn't do anything! Ya just invited us to that loud club place." Applejack retorted.
Spike narrowed his eyes with confusion, then it clicked. He turned to Rainbow. "So you haven't told her yet, have you?"
She looked away. "No, Not yet. Why does it matter if I did or didn't?"
"Tell me what?" Applejack demanded.
"Spike may have had a bigger role in us finding our feelings for each other then you thought." Rainbow started.
"Although, it does seem like you two are more comfortable around each other then me and Rarity are... Which is bullshit! It should be the other way around." Spike observed.
"What do ya mean he had a bigger role?" Applejack asked.
Rainbow scratched the back of her neck. "He was really the one who started it. I was... I was...-"
"-To shy to do anything without puking before making a move." Spike cut in. "I've been around. Remember when I fell out of the tree?"
"Yeah..." Applejack hedged.
"I was helping a bro out." He put his fist out for Rainbow to pump, but she didn't return. "Left me hangin'? Weak."
"So it was all his idea?" Applejack questioned.
"She really liked you so I helped her out and... Increased her odds." Spike grinned. "She provided the feelings and emotion... But I did the rest, yes."
"So ya both lied to me." Applejack summed up.
"Not really, no." Spike wouldn't let Rainbow answer a question yet. "I just brought your true feelings for Dash to the surface."
"What's that suppose to mean?" She demanded.
"It was actually really easy to set it up. You can't tell me that you didn't already have feelings for her before I started my craft here." Spike stared at her. "All it took was a few intense moments from her and you were already done."
"I just thought that we were closer friends then the others were, really." Applejack admitted, not ready to confess any pre-existing romantic attraction.
"Com'on AJ." Spike leaned in closer to her. "You and I both know that you wanted Rainbow..."
Applejack was rubbing her temples with her hooves. "Just change the subject, mah head is about to burst..."
There was a few moments of awkward silence after that. Dash had to say something. "Is Twilight still planning on dragging you to that next book meeting?"
Spike remembered how boring the last few have been. "Don't remind me, why would you remind me." The two ponies snickered. "If I seriously have to go to another one of those dumb-ass meetings, I'm going to kill myself." The two mares light chuckle instantly morphed into a glare. "Too soon?"
"Can you stop bringing that crap up, you dick." Rainbow threatened with her eyes.
"I can't." He grinned. "I have so many questions... Like I saw that when Pinkie came out you took your hook back, AJ. You're going to try to hide your little thing?"
"No." Applejack quickly replied. Rainbow glanced at her with a nudge from her elbow. "Maybe later..." She rolled her eyes. They probably were talking about it for a while last night.
"So Rainbow is the dominant one?" Spike stared at them with a whimsical glimmer in his eye. "That's shocking."
"She ain't the dominant!" Applejack snapped.
"Are you implying that you are?" Rainbow looked at her new partner.
"No, but yer not dominant over me!" She retorted.
It's wingman time. If they did anything last night Rainbow would still be smiling... She still hasn't scored yet. "I think it's whoever is first." Spike hinted. "Whoever sparks that glorious night..."
Applejack stared at him with narrowed eyes to see the silver lining here. Then it clicked and her eyes widened. "You dirty little pervert."
"From what I've seen, that's what marks the dominant in the relationship. Every single one has one." Spike shrugged and grinned to his buddy, who was trying to restrain her smile.
Applejack and Rainbow turned to each other. "You're not the dominant." Applejack said.
"Prove it." Rainbow challenged. Nice! Go get some Rain-bro!
"Let's change the subject." Applejack said, without taking her eyes off of Rainbow's.
"How about that sexy throw last night!" Spike started again. "Remember that amazing knife throw?"
"That explains where this cut on her face came from..." Rainbow noticed.
"Still cut the rope." He reminded. Pinkie then came into the room with six cupcakes on a platter.
"I made two cakes for each of you!" She passed them out. "They are specially made for you! So," She looked at Spike. "No sharing."
Spike examined his green and purple cupcakes. These are probably pumped full of Cyanide or some shit! "Now that I've had some time, turns out it was just gas..." Spike confessed.
"Yer hunger was just gas?" Applejack giggled.
"Yeah, now that I've let that said gas free, I feel better." He revealed. "Can I get a doggy bag for these?" He requested.
"But, Spike!" Pinkie jumped around to him. Her smile was gone and she had a blank countenance. "I want you to try these super special cupcakes I made just for you."
They initiated a staring contest between them. "And I'll be sure to try them at home, when I'm hungry. But, for now, may I please get a bag for these." Beads of sweat were running down Spike's face, he was about to snap from fear of any sudden movements from her. Pinkie, however did not display any emotion of any sort, she just gazed into Spike's soul.
After a few minutes past Rainbow spoke up. "So, uh- you want us to give you two some space?" Wait- What?
"Oh, pretty please!" Pinkie accepted her offer to escape the awkward scene. They both made a lunge to the exit. "Don't leave!" Spike cried out before they could slither out the door.
"Uh- Sorry Spike," Applejack hedged. "We gotta go... Gotta go..."
"Buck?" Spike answered for her.
"Yes! We got to go buck trees in the orchard." She agreed.
"I wasn't talking about the orchard." Spike grinned. Rainbow and Applejack glared daggers at him. "You deserved that one for leaving. Now that I think about it... I think I'll have to take a rain-check on this afternoon." He attempted to follow his friends out the door. "Twilight has me Organizing her books again." Pinkie beat Spike to the door and slammed it shut after the other two were gone. Fucking lesbian bitches...
Her demeanor Reverted from cheery to homicidal in an instant. She had a dark, devious grin on her face. "You're fine right where you are."
Spike kept his cool. Don't give her the satisfaction of seeing you shit yourself, keep your head on straight and fuck her shit up. "I don't think so, I feel like I should be hitting the road right about now..." Pinkie stayed in his path. Spike attempted to slip past her with a hope that she somehow wouldn't notice. Pinkie brought her hoof up and picked Spike up by his lower jaw in a toss across the room. As Spike soared through the air he couldn't help but think about how She was that fucking strong. He crashed into a shelf on the wall and brought many pictures of the Cake's down with him as the shelf collapsed from the middle. He considered himself lucky that he didn't land on any large shards of broken glass. "I think there's a piece of glass in my ass." He choked out with a blood-filled cough.
Pinkie walked over with her expressionless mask of a face. Spike still laid on the ground, in too much pain to run. What the hell am I suppose to do!? He scanned the floor from where he was laying and saw a large shard of glass that he narrowly missed. He slowly moved his hand over and grasped it. A pink hoof crashed down on his hand. "Spike, you know that you can't do that!"
She applied enough pressure for the glass to cut his hand. A small, red pool was forming around his arm. "Why me? Why are you so focused on killing only me?"
"I don't have to explain my motives, but be aware that it's very pleasurable to be the one that takes you." She bent over and picked up a sharp piece of wood from the broken shelf. Spike had many cuts and bruises all over his body from the fall. He considered yelling out, but that would only make her work faster.
She pointed it to his neck, he could feel how sharp the point was. She pushed enough to draw blood, but then took it away. "What the hell are you do-AHHH!" She pinned his free hand to the floor with the wooden spike, through his hand to the floor. "You fucking bitch!" He screamed out.
"Well, I can't have you resisting with that other hand, now can I?" She giggled. She removed her hoof from his fist and stomped on his wrist to force him to let go of the glass. Spike cried out in pain. He had a gash in his hand from the shard. Without removing her back hoof from his wrist. She picked up the glass and observed the bloody glass, blood was running down it. She stuck out her tongue and let a drop fall onto her taste buds. "You've been drinking recently, haven't you?"
"Hey, did you know that Rainbow and Applejack are gay for each other?" He tried to buy himself some time to think of something to do to escape.
"You won't trick me with your tabloid lie garbage." She hissed. "This has already gone on too long, you should have already been-"
"What the fuck?" They heard a voice from the door. Pinkie turned around to see a small, white, bunny. He had a horrified and confused look on his face. Pinkie shared the same look of confusion. Thank you god! I guess my miracle is in the shape of an asshole, but hey, I'll take it!
A few moments of silence passed before Spike finally blurted out. "RUN!" Angel blinked a few times before what he was seeing registered. After that, he bolted away from the scene. Pinkie just stared at where he was standing. She whipped her head back around to Spike with confusion in her eyes. "Where you not aware that Angel could talk? Not many do. I'm sure that my best friend will go get help... I'm also quite sure that Fluttershy will believe anything that comes out of his mouth." After that she turned and ran after the rabbit.
Spike let out a sigh of relief that she was gone. Then he grimaced as he gripped the spike protruding out of his left hand. The wood cut into his hand even farther then it was. He inhaled deep breaths before summoning all his remaining strength to yank the wood out of his hand. He was seething with pain, but he was determined to make it out of there. He crawled to his knees, then used the wall to aide him to his feet. He tripped on broken wood and almost fell to the ground again, but recovered. He limped towards the door, using the counter to keep his balance. He was close to crying with joy when he reached the door. He welcomed the warm sun on his wounds and went on his way.
***
Rainbow and Applejack awoke to the sound of knocking. They peeped out the window to see a blur of green and purple. "Spike? Is that you?" Applejack called through the door.
"I have a fucking glory hole in my hand! Let me in you bitches!" He shouted back in anger. His wounds were still bleeding.
"Well, that's just uncalled for. Even for you, that's pretty mean." Rainbow grinned at her friend's comment as she opened the door. They gasped once they saw Spike's condition. Cuts and bruises everywhere, bleeding from his nose and every limb, gashes in both hands.
"I think it's very 'called for', you skank!" He coughed more blood into his hand, not that it was noticeable with his hand already dripping. "Can I come in before I bleed out on your doorstep?"
The two mares came back to their senses. "Wait here." Applejack ran off into the house and came back wheeling a gurney. "Can you get on?"
"Yeah, I walked here. Not a single pony out to see me limping here." He said as he climbed onto the medical bed. "Why the hell do you have a gurney?"
"Applebloom got it when she thought that doctoring was her special talent. Not sure where she got it from, but we decided that we might need it someday." She explained while she wheeled him into the kitchen. "Why didn't ya just go to Twilight or the hospital for that matter?"
"Because if I went to Twilight then I would end up in the hospital anyway, and in the hospital I'm a sitting duck for pinkie. I assumed that you have some sort of redneck medicine here?" Spike asked.
"Are you saying Pinkie did this to you?" Rainbow questioned skeptically.
"Yes I'm saying that pink Satan did this to me!" He shouted back. "Are you thinking that I did this to myself?"
"It would make more sense, you little attention whore." She commented back.
Spike just stared at her with a dumbfounded look and raised his hands to his face. "There's a fucking hole in my hand!"
"About that..." Applejack said with her back to him, she was doing something with the stove. "I have to stop the bleeding. You might want to find something to bite on." She turned around with a red-hot pan in her mouth. Spike's eyes widened with the sight.
"Goddammit."
***
"There! You should be fine now." Applejack spit a pair of scissors out of her mouth. Spike's wounds were bandaged and cauterized.
"I should have just let her kill me." He muttered on the bed. "Would have been less painful."
"Be thankful that yer alive." Applejack told him. "You didn't have much time left like that."
"If Pinkie had you like that, why'd she let you go? There's a flaw in your claim." Rainbow pointed out.
"She left to go chase-" He remembered who had saved him.
"Why is Angel here?" Applejack motioned to the window in the kitchen that was open. The white bunny was standing on the pane. "Is Fluttershy around, ya cute little thing?" He hopped down and tried to pull her out of the room by her hoof. "Ya want me to follow you?"
"Just talk you dumb-ass!" Spike demanded. "You and I both don't have the fucking time for your shit!"
Angel stopped and looked back at him, then the two mares and back again. The gears in his head were turning, contemplating the consequences. "What the hell is with Pinkie!?" He gave in. Rainbow and Applejack's jaw dropped. "Crazy bitch just chased me for like four blocks!"
Ahhhh, do you feel that? It's my second chapter since my down-time. Who else just got a boner?
This was a very fun chapter to write. It rightly tickled my pickle.
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Shit just got real
And people thought I was creative
Ha, Pinkie's cover is blown now! She'll have to murder everypony!
YES!
YES. Write faster. I have to read more.
ha ha ha can't wait to see the shit about to go down
1152983 I didn't think that anyone gave a shit about that one. I'll post some more with that in mind. I got a little too weird with that one...
Fucking amazing!!!!!!!!!!!
Looks like Pinkie will end up getting more cupcake ingredients than she originally intended
1153142 The way I saw it, you were doing awesome. After the species switching situation, I want to see more exposition of your fucked up Equestria, more Spike and Jeremy doing shit, and some more teleportation around Earth.
I got a boner!
Holy shit, that was crazy! Can't wait to see how AJ and Dash are gonna deal with Pinkie. Will they all concoct some elaborate trap to ambush her or will they confront her head-on resulting in an epic free-for-all that will become legendary? All I know, is that it will be awesome!
This story gave me such a clue!
Dude that was some crazy shit going.
And I agree with the hospital concept cause if Pinkie wont do him in the food will.
Better chances in the Everfree.
For some reason I'm thinking of reading a Spike/Pinkie Pie story....strange right? Damn, Angel a bad ass motherbucker.....he is so bad ass as a villian. This story is awesome, a few spelling and grammer errors but nothing major, can't wait for more of this shit.
... I honestly don't know what to say about this. Its awesome, yeah, but I don't seem to be able to determine why....
damn this crazy shit has hit the fan!
This is the most awesome thing I have ever read in my entire life. Words fail me on just how epic this story is, so instead, I present a few pictures to get my point across:
Spike has it going on:
digizona.net/subir/images/Z2ja.jpg
But sometimes hoes just don't know when to shut up and listen to a player:
fc07.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/226/6/e/blah_blah_blah_by_astarhawk64-d5b500o.gif
Hopefully, Spike has a plan:
fc09.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/129/6/5/pinkie_pie_in___railroad_spike___by_dm29-d4z5yzs.png
Never the less, there's really only one way for this to end:
i.imgur.com/y92PO.jpg
1153142 You thought nobody cares? I've got random internal pains inside me that mean I'm literally dying of anxiousness!