Chapter 9
"Seriously, Spike." Angel shouted at the dragon. "What the fuck! What the hell did you do to her? She went from the annoying one that everyone thought was ADD to the one that kills cats for funsies!"
"I told you before." Spike reminded him with a rightfully earned grin with hints of smug. "Oh but you were all 'you're just a big ol' pussy! You're afraid of pinkie? You must have a huge puss puss!' Well now she's coming to skin you and wear your skin to the harvest of souls, you furry asshole!"
"No- Wait. Harvest of souls?" The rabbit cocked a brow. "Is that what she's doing?"
"I don't know! Nor do I give a fuck. As long as it involves us I'll have none of it." Spike said.
"Angel can talk?" Rainbow spurted out. "I had no idea! That's awesome! Can every rabbit talk or just you?"
"Fuck you!" He shouted. Rainbow and Applejack jumped at the redirection of the anger towards them. "I still don't think that I should be talking in front of them. They're outsiders..."
"And I'm not?" Spike asked, curious. "You talk to me like it's nothing. Do you all just keep it secret from ponies? Why are you just a dick to me?"
"Well, I shouldn't have actually talked to you either. But, I thought that it would be fun to pick you out." Angel replied. "And it is."
"Too late then. I think they're on to you." Spike commented sarcastically, looking at the two mares that were just staring at him.
"Ah had no idea..." Applejack mumbled before shaking herself out of her thoughts. "How long have y'all been like this? Have y'all always talked like this and kept secrets from every pony?"
"Yep." Spike answered. "Rain-bro and I have been friends since I came here, and he's just a dick that talks."
"They're going to tell everyone know!" Angel whined. "This is completely unfair."
Spike pondered this. "Secret for a secret time." He said before looking to the bunny. "Did you know that those two are lesbians?"
"Spike!" They both shouted in anger of him divulging their secret. "How could ya do that!"
"I need him. I can't have him running away or something stupid that he normally does." He excused himself.
"Need him for what?" Rainbow demanded.
"Have you not been listening?" Spike shook his head with frustration. "Pinkie's going to kill us!" They rolled their eyes. Spike felt the rage boil inside of him. Then he remembered how Angel became involved. "You saw it! How much did you see of her being a bitch?"
"I saw her jam that wood through your hand." He stared off into the distance, remembering the scene. "At first I thought it was funny. I thought that she was just pissed at you for some reason and she was kicking your ass. Then she shoved that through your hand and I realized that 'Oh shit, she's just fucking insane'."
"Well then, good luck." Rainbow offered, pushing Applejack to turn around to exit.
"Hold up!" Spike stopped them. "You're not going to help us? She's going to fucking murder me!"
"When you get tortured before you die, that's when you lose us. We're not getting involved." Rainbow replied.
"Com'on you owe me!" Spike pleaded.
"I don't owe you shit!" She returned. "You helped me because I gave you the necklace to give to Rarity. We're even."
"You can't help us out at all" Angel requested with a grin. "You two can't give us a little somethin-somethin?"
"And what would that be?" Applejack questioned, cocking a brow.
"I think you and your partner can figure that out." He answered, letting his devious smile run rampant.
Applejack and Rainbow exchanged looks and whispered to each other in a two pony huddle. Spike had a confused, but interested expression, watching closely. Angel looked at Spike and gave a subtle head nod. The two mares turned around to them and sighed. "Fine." They brought their faces closer and closer until their lips met. Spike and angel gaped, choosing not to blink in fear of missing the scene. They could see their tongues wrestling within the confines of the two mouths. They broke the kiss and looked back to the two males with bright red faces. "Does that satisfy yer last request?" Applejack asked with a highly embarrassed and irritated countenance.
"Definitely." Angel replied. "Although, I was talking about money..." Rainbow and Applejack sighed in frustration. "That's cool, though."
They deadpanned and resumed their exit. As soon as they were out of earshot Spike and Angel shouted "Hell yeah!" and high-fived. "Ow, fuck!" Spike unwittingly used his damaged hand.
"My bad." Angel offered.
"Not a problem." Spike quickly forgot about it. "Dude did you plan that?" Spike asked.
"Not at all." He admitted. "I wish I could say that I did, though. I'm pretty sure that just made this whole thing worth it."
"Now we can always use that." Spike pointed out. "Anytime that they want something from us, we can get that every time."
"One has to call the other beforehand." Angel told him.
"Hell's yeah." They high-fived again, this time with his good hand, to solidify the arrangement. "I love lesbians..."
"So what's with the Pinkie thing?" Angel asked. "What's the plan? Are we going to try to expel the demons from her?"
Spike held up is bruised, burned hand with a hole. "Fuck no! We go for the kill."
"But what if it's not her?" He asked.
"I don't give a shit! More reason to kill it!" Spike shouted.
"I mean if she's not in her mind, like if she's actually possessed or something?" Angel attempted to be the voice of reason.
His voice was too weak to make Spike forget about his scorched wound. "Then she's going to have to take one for the team. I'm not letting that thing live." Angel just shrugged in hesitant agreement.
"How do we kill her then? What if it's not a demon and she just doesn't like you. You can't exactly pour holy water on her and expect her to dissolve." He said.
"I'll think of something." Spike said, placing himself on Applejack's couch.
"Shit I hear someone coming." Angel warned. Spike heard the door open to his left. He noticed a familiar face trot through the door.
"Sup." The large, red, farm pony greeted.
"Hey, BigMac." Spike replied. His eyes widened with a crystallizing moment, the moment he thought of his plan. He knew what they were going to do now. "You want to help us out again?"
"Us?" He questioned. He scanned the room to only see the bunny on the floor. "You and him?"
"Yeah, can you help us out?" He requested.
"Sure, if it's anything like your last task of me sitting on my ass all day. I'm in." He grinned. "What the fuck happened to you?" He noticed that Spike was covered in bandages and bruises.
"Long story, Pinkie's a crazy skank, that's what we need your help with." Spike brushed through.
"What's with the rabbit, though?" BigMac asked.
"Watch it. I'll climb up your urethra." Angel threatened. Spike and BigMac exchanged looks.
"Damn..." Spike shivered. "That's a scary thought."
"W-what do you want me to do...?" He asked, not taking his eyes off of Angel.
"Let's go for a picnic." Spike suggested. "With everyone."
***
"Hay, Rainbow!" Spike called up the stairs of Applejack's house.
"What?" She bypassed the stairs and hovered down.
"Let's go to the hardware store." He said casually.
"The hardware store? Why the hell would you ever go there?" She questioned.
"I feel like hardware-ing." He told her.
"Wast of time..." She began to ascend again.
"I'll buy you some beer." He bribed.
"Let's go hardware-ing!" She landed and started for the door.
Spike hung back to talk to BigMac and Angel. Spike gave his orders to BigMac and sent him off on his way. "Angel, go with Applejack and start and picnic at the lake."
"This is fucking stupid!" He hissed. "Why do I have to go with her?"
"You know Pinkie's true face. She'll come after you if you don't have someone with you. Trust me, this will kill her." Spike told him. He reluctantly hopped up the stairs to convince Applejack.
Spike then followed Rainbow out the door, to the hardware store.
***
"Why the hell are we here?" Rainbow whined as she followed Spike through the isles of the store.
"Will you shut up! I got you your piss-water, now just follow me." Spike snapped.
"You got some too..." She pointed to the six-pack under his arm.
"Like I wouldn't stock up too on a beer run?" He scoffed. "Bitch, you crazy."
"But why are you here? What are you picking up?" She asked.
"I'm here for the......" Spike scanned the base shelf for the jug he was looking for. ".....Ah! Gasoline!"
"Gasoline?" Rainbow repeated.
"Yes. Gasoline. Oh, I almost forgot. You want to come to a picnic?" He invited her.
"My gut is telling me to say no." She hesitated. "Picnics and gasoline don't mix very well."
"There's going to be a bonfire." He tempted her. "Fire is fun! When was the last time you didn't have fun with fire?" She looked down at his hand that was recently cauterized. "I mean when you were trying to have fun with it!"
"I had fun." She snickered.
"Oh, yeah, real fuckin' fun." His hand still hurt immensely. "Applejack and Angel are inviting the others."
"What are you doing?" She narrowed her eyes, seeing a plot.
"Having a goddamn picnic." Spike told her. "I told you."
"I mean, what are you really doing?" She knew he was lying.
Spike looked around. "We're going to burn the witch."
"WHAT?" She cried.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I misspoke. I meant to say that we're going to burn the bitch." He chuckled before proceeding to the checkout line with the gasoline, leaving Rainbow there, mouth gaping.
***
"Oh, Hi BigMacky!" Pinkie greeted him in her normal cheer. "Watcha' doin'?" All of the ponies had shown up for the picnic, there was a blanket lain out and they were getting their food out. Rainbow was searching for Spike or Angel in the corner of her eye.
"I think a truck crashed over here." He told her, he was quiet enough for the other not to hear.
"That's awful!" She cried. "We need to tell the others!"
"I think it was a chocolate truck." He lied. "There's like a lake of chocolate sauce over there now."
She instantly stopped all thought of telling the others and took a face of determination. "Show me."
He led her past the lake to the edge of a gorge. It trailed far off into the distance. They stopped at an opening in the treeline to get a clear view down. There were boulders and trees everywhere around them. There was also one bone dry well that no one ever used anymore that was about ten feet from them. "Down there." As she leaned over the side of the cliff, a tree rustled and a rabbit fell out, almost like a apple. She turned and locked onto him.
"Fuck." He commented.
Pinkie hopped over BigMac and bucked him over the side of the gorge. They could have heard his yell for help miles away. "You slut!" Angel cursed her. She quickly began her charge to ensure that he wouldn't escape again. Angel made an attempt to kick her in the face, but she just caught him like a baseball. He tried to shake loose, evidence of his grunts. She started to pull him. She was pulling him like a torture device. If she didn't stop, she was going to rip him in half. "Spike!" He chocked out.
"I got ya, buddy!" Spike called, leaping from the tree. He made sure to land so that his spikes struck her skull. She screamed and released Angel. Her head broke most of his fall, but he still flopped onto the ground. Pinkie was bleeding from a gash she had on her forehead. Angel coughed, regained his composure, and got to his feet. Spike was up too, he grabbed a branch that had fallen from the trees and broke it in half. "Here." He tossed It to Angel.
"Pretty thick, pretty long. This will do nicely." They got ready for her to come at them again.
"That's what she said." Spike commented. They both chuckled, watching Pinkie trying to stop the bleeding. "Did she just kick BigMac over the side?"
"Yeah." He answered grimly.
"Fuck waiting then, let's do this." He started toward Pinkie with his stick. He had her blood on his spine, the blood from her wound was temporarily blinding her. Once he had the right distance between them, he put a little pep in a hop and used the momentum to uppercut her with the stick. She cried out in pain and fell backwards. She laid there, motionless.
"That was easy." Angel summed up and started off in the opposite direction.
"Like it would be that easy." Spike laughed. He hopped again to bring the stick down directly onto her face. A pink fluff stopped him, it wrapped around his foot. What the hell is that... He looked closer to see that it was her tail. ...Fuck. It suddenly pulled him off his feet and she rolled to get the higher position on him. With rage fueling her, she pounded Spike with force that could crush bones. Angel quickly brought his stick around and hit her in the side of her head. It seemed to do nothing. Angel didn't give up, he continued to strike her anywhere he could to get her to stop pounding Spike.
Pinkie, with her face covered in, not only her blood anymore but Spike's too, flung around and punted Angel like a football. He flew across the tree opening and crashed against the well. Pinkie picked Spike's stick up and broke it in half once more, it resembled a spike. Angel coughed blood while he was unable to move. Pinkie keeled over Angel and pointed the stake into his chest. As she cocked back to make the fatal blow, the purple dragon grabbed a hold in her hair and dove into the well. She tried to stay up with all of her screams, but eventually joined Spike in the well. Angel could hear them both yelling curses as they fell together...
...But they were silenced by the sound of a splash.
Sorry for the lack of chapters, and the short one here. I've been getting evicted from my computer. In my down-time I've been looking at some Animation software... Can you picture what my cartoons would be like? That will be glorious.
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I love this story!!!
SHIT JUST GOT REAL
Wat
1276190 You know they are banning people for doing that
Bout time Pinkie had what was coming to her.
1276393
harvestlondon.ca/Content/10194/Students/wait%20what%20meme%20rage%20face.jpeg
1276675 He put first for his comment then edited it
Finally the day has come the pink one's reign of evil will be over soon.
Spike is the boss!
damn this fic crazy awesome
1276690
Oh ok.
1276324 its been real for the last two chapters lol
So, why AJ and RD dont help for them? They know something really happening with Pinkie and Spike and RD are bros... and RD don't tell Spike about AJ's flavor!
pinkie is just getting crazier and crazier ...no true character development just fucking insanity
cool
This is literally one of the greatest things I've ever read. It has the perfect mix of romance, action, and bro jokes to get me hooked. I salute you, and await the next chapter!
My version of the kissing part: