Fluttershy and Rarity are just coming back from vaction, traveling by boat, out into the sea. As they are sleeping on the deck a storm arrives. Fluttershy and Rarity, terrified, look at the sharp rocks their ship is going towards. As Fluttershy quickly tries to steer the ship away its to late. The ship crashes right into the rocks!
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Everything happens WAY too quickly in this story. You need the scenes to be much more emotional and thought out to get anywhere with this.
This is totally ridiculous and slapdash but ... I actually kind of like it for what it is. I mean, the first thing Rarity does after being shipwrecked is to reapply her eyeshadow? I laughed out loud.
WWWWIIILLLSSSOOOOONNNN
DX
FAGGOT!
is the word that is used instead of "Let's make a pile of sticks." Rarity suggested. "Then we don't have to carry everything.
you thought i thought this fic was bad didnt you?
gotcha! I happen to be enjoying this fic pretty well so far as long as there is no element of romance involved
Im sorry everypony. This is my first story and Im not a god author yet. YET!
good.
Everypony I will now try to improve on my stories.
AND PAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE DONT COME BACK WHOEVER IS HACKING MY ACCOUNT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
forgive me, but these chapters are just too short. They aren't even long enough for me to consider glancing at. May I suggest you recompile your story after you've written enough to make a decent-length chapter? This story has promise, but... eh it's your choice.