***Irony***
I feel Dust’s body relax, I feel her last shuddering breath against my cheek. I hold her ruined body against my chest, the tears are rolling down my cheeks.
I’m crouched down like this, I can’t do anything but sob.
“Irony, she’s gone. We need to get home.” I hear Moon Shadow say.
I shake my head, still beyond words.
“Irony, please. Yes, Lightning Dust is dead. But we have to get back, the rest of the family is on their way”
I finally find my voice, “It doesn’t matter, no more monster to fight, it’s over.” I heave a big sigh, “She took care of the monster.”
A hand lands on my shoulder, I look up, Helen is there, her eyes bright with tears, “We need to take her home, Irony.”
I turn and look at the massively broken body, almost all of her fur has been burned away, her skin is actually cooked, there was no way she could have survived this, I’m not even certain Henry could have fixed her.
“Irony, let us go home, love.” Helen says.
I sigh, and finally nod. Dust’s body is gently picked up away from me. I look around, Hannah has her aura around her hands, she’s carrying her daddy home. The young lady has tear tracks down her cheeks, but she’s concentrating, she’s pushing past her pain. I relax onto four hooves, “Hannah, you can put her on my back, I’ll carry her.”
Hannah shakes her head tightly, “No, I’m going to carry her.”
Sunset looks around, “Loves, she tumbled over twenty miles. Do you really want to walk it back?”
I look at the path of destruction. Dust coming through broke trees, left gouges in the earth. It’s perfectly obvious the path her body took as she crashed.
Sunset sighs and her horn lights, her magic takes hold, and we are in front of Dust’s house. A lot of ponies have shown up, several houses in Dust’s approach path have damaged roofs. And what happened after she hit the clone… I look at the path her body took as it tumbled. Two houses will likely have to be completely rebuilt, though our house is structurally okay, the brickwork is damaged, and several windows are shattered. Sunset sits down and her magic starts mending the glass, and the brick. The windstorm from Dust’s turbulence has been massive. She blew us all back. Only smart thinking by Sunset Shimmer kept us from being killed.
I look at the body lying there, a pony steps forward, she traces a hoof along the mangled cheek of the clone. A few tear drops falling to the ground.
I shift and put a hand on the mare’s withers, “That isn’t your daughter, Velvet. It was a clone.”
Velvet looks at me, “I must have done something wrong raising her. The clone had all of her memories up to when she was cloned.” She looks down at the clone, “To think my daughter could ever have ended up like this.”
I pick up the unicorn and hug her to my chest, “You raised a wonderful daughter, Velvet. She’s still wonderful, back in Equestria. This is garbage, a body to be disposed of.”
She shudders in my grip, I hold her tighter, “Velvet, this was never your Twilight Sparkle. You can tell by her cutie mark. It was changed, she was no longer the pony you knew when the accident happened. Your Twilight Sparkle could never become like that creature.”
Velvet pulls back and looks into my eyes, “You were her guard, her protector, back in Equestria. Are you sure?”
I’m able to smile, for her benefit, “I loved and revered Twilight Sparkle. I would have given my life for her.” I nuzzle Velvet, “I still would. For the pony back home, not for this clone.”
She wraps her forelegs around me, “Thank you Irony.”
***???***
“Lightning Dust” A voice calls.
I roll over, what the hell happened? I open my eyes, all I see is white. Memory crashes into me, my eyes, they are working! Did Henry get to me before?
I look down at my body, it's back to normal, luxurious turquois fur, a pristine hoof. Am I dead? Am I alive? If I’m alive, where the hell am I? It doesn’t look like any hospital room I’ve ever seen. What happens after one dies? I'm puzzled by the fact that I feel pretty good. No real pain. I've got a body, it seems to be working. I look around, all I see is light. I get to my hooves and trot around, though my hoofsteps are completely silent.
"What's going on?" I murmur.
"Welcome to the afterlife, Lightning Dust, you’re dead."
I whirl around, I know that voice, "Discord."
He chuckles, I still can't see the draconequus. I whirl around again, "Where are you, are you behind that evil version of Twilight Sparkle?"
Again he chuckles. I spread my wings and take off, but where am I going, all I see is white.
"Nowhere to run to, Lightning Dust." Discord calls. Suddenly I'm motionless, I feel a floor beneath my feet, but again, everything is white.
"Come out where I can see you. We've kicked you ass before, I'll kick your ass all by myself." I spread my wings aggressively.
"Awww, what nasty things to say to your benefactor. I kept you from moving on, I kept you from becoming unreachable."
I sit on my haunches, "What happens after death?"
He chuckles once again, "That would be cheating, I'm already giving you a chance to cheat death, I'm not going to go any further." He appears in front of me in a flash of white light. He bends down to bring his face close, "You were the one pony to actually discern my true intent when it comes to that spell."
I narrow my eyes, "The five score spell?"
He nods, then he conjures a flash of light, and a chair appears, he sits down, offering me a cookie. I shrug and taste it. And almost gag, it doesn’t taste nearly how I expect it. Not like a chocolate chip cookie, but like waffles, complete with butter and syrup. I lick my lips, "Yum."
He smiles, "I am a spirit, I am truly eternal. Jumping through time is nothing to me."
"I don't understand."
You ponies, you think of time like it's a line, it's far more complex than that."
He offers me another cookie, this one tastes like broccoli, I chow down, I love broccoli.
"I've had to serve a long time under that spell, I was a horse, you see. Sent back to the distant past, and forced to live for eons as a humble equine. I had a good time. But you see, I am still myself."
"And?"
"Humanity lost their magic, oh I won't go into the details, but humans lost a lot in that time. And then I sent you ponies to this Earth. And then what happened?"
I think for a moment, "Then we awoke, our magic came out, and we brought out the magic in humanity."
He giggles, "Exactly, you get another cookie."
This one tastes like my spaghetti sauce, complete with noodles. "Wow, you got my recipe right."
He chuckles, "Humanity needs a push, they've gotten very far, farther than anyone could believe without their magic. But they have hit a hard wall, they need something, something to bring them to the next level, to let them see exactly what their potential can be."
I stand up, my wings spread in rage, "You killed, you hurt a lot of ponies, and you ruled Equestria for a quarter of a century. Chaos ruled."
His chuckle becomes a full on laugh, "Well, I got to have a little fun in the bargain. So sue me."
I growl at the draconequus, "You are an asshole."
He smiles at me, "Guilty as charged. But you forget one thing, Lightning Dust."
"And what is that?"
"You are here, not in the next life."
"So."
He taps the top of my head, avoiding my hoof as I try to bat him away, "I'm not done with you yet."
I sigh, "What are you going to do?"
"I know what you did to defeat the shadow of myself I left in this world, I know what I put you through."
I growl, "Where you killed Soarin."
He smiles, "Yes, though you'll be happy to know that he went out like a hero, even though it was a construct, he acted to save lives. I'll give him credit there. But he is beyond my reach at this point."
"Are you coming back?"
He smiles, "There can be only one spirit of chaos, I'm trapped in your world, so I have to talk to you like this."
I am getting angry at his antics, "What are you going to do, Discord? You just said you can't affect the world now, so what now?"
He turns and looks at me critically, "The necessary balance for both worlds was upset for far too long. Equestria was too harmonious, and this Earth was too chaotic. Neither was any fun. But I’ve fixed all of that. Now humanity and Equestria can grow, together."
I narrow my eyes, "You intend for there to be permanent relations between our worlds?"
He nods.
"Why?"
He walks around me, "Because humanity has been confined to their one little world, perhaps by understanding there is such a thing as a multiverse, other beings that can think, that can feel. They need to not be so insular. So, I'm forcing that."
He produces another cookie, it tastes like chalk. I spit it out and glare at him.
He shrugs his shoulders, "They can't all be yummy, Dust."
I sit down and think for a long time, then finally, "What now?"
"You go back."
I shake my head, "My body was destroyed, it's no use, Discord."
He chuckles, "I may be merely a spirit, not a god. But I possess powers you have no concept of, young pegasus. Now, Go!" He taps me on the forehead.
***
I open my eyes slowly, I’m on my back, my wings are folded at my side. I look up at the ceiling. I’ve been moved into my house, I’m lying on the dining room table, a sheet is under me. I guess they are planning on wrapping me up later. How long have I been out? I glance out the windows, it’s dark. So I’m guessing they are planning my funeral for tomorrow. I have to smile at that thought, my funeral is going to be a long time coming, I hope.
I lay there listening, I think my house is pretty full right now. I can hear a lot of voices talking. I finally flip off the table onto the floor, I shake myself and fold my wings at my sides. I lift a hoof, my shoes were lost during this misadventure. I extend my wings and flap, but nothing happens, I look back at my wings, they seem to be in fine shape. But they do hurt. My entire body aches, then I think about it, I’ve got a horrible case of magical exhaustion. I’m ground bound for the next few days, maybe a couple of weeks, judging by how I feel. Well, better use the hooves, I take a step, and a second, my legs are shaky, and weak, but I think I can handle it. I’m hungry. I can hear somepony in the kitchen. This many ponies in one place, somepony is making sure they are fed. It’s true, food really brings families together.
Where is everypony? I walk softly from the dining room into the living room, there they are. They are all sitting there, huddled together, though the stallions and the foals aren’t here yet. I’m guessing they haven’t made it back from Florida yet. My family, Twilight Velvet, Blaze, Star Crossed, Jay and Sanchez, Wind Shield, Mayor Mare, and quite a few other ponies that my family knows. Irony is sitting there, she’s holding something in her lap.
“No, Moon. I know she wanted me to, but I won’t.”
Moon Shadow sighs, “Irony, she asked you to keep a single feather, for your memories.”
Irony shakes her head vehemently, “After the funeral, this will be all I have left of her. I’m not burning her feathers.”
Awww, that gets a smile from me.
Mindy’s voice pipes up, but she sounds more miserable than anypony, “I miss her.”
I can see Helen move closer and hug the straight maned pony tightly, “Oh, Mindy. We all miss her.”
Okay, I’m out of my misery, I should put them out of theirs, “Well, you can stop missing me, since I’m here.”
Everything goes silent for a long moment, and heads swivel towards me. I smile hugely.
Moon Shadow is the first to recover, "Dust." She whispers. She looks at everypony else, then back at me, then she screams, “DUST!”
I brace myself as I’m mobbed by my family. I quickly have everypony close to me, I have my forelegs and wings around as many as I can touch. I’m nuzzled by everypony, Hannah squirms through and wraps her arms around me, Helen kisses the top of my head.
Irony looks at me incredulously, "Dust, you were dead, your body was ruined, what happened?"
I smile, "Discord happened, Love."
Her eyes narrow, "Discord? He's been banished."
"Not as banished as you may think, Love."
"So, you are okay?"
"Yes, but I think I'm ground bound for a few days."
She chuckles, "Oh, so you’ve got to be down here with us mud bugs for a while?"
"I'll hate every second of it." But to cool the sting, I run a feather along her ear, eliciting a smile from the massive earth pony.
“How fast were you going?”
“As fast as I could, my love.”
I look around, “Where are the stallions? The kids?”
“They are on their way.” She glances at the wall clock, “Actually, they should be here any time now.”
“How long have I been gone?”
She shakes her head, “I’m not certain, several hours now, I think. We haven’t been exactly watching the clock.”
Irony leads and I walk slowly behind her, down the stairs and to the laundry room, there are more tears in her eyes, “I couldn’t see putting both of you together.”
She flips the sheet from the form on the stainless steel table.
“She’s dead.” I murmur.
Irony looks at the body, “Yes, she is.”
I look up at Irony, “She would have killed you, right?”
She nods, “She was crazy. We had to stop her.”
I sigh, “I know.”
Irony sits next to me, leaning against me, “You did everything you can, Dust.”
I sigh, I feel tears starting to fall, “I wish she could have been brought back. To be the pony we knew.”
Irony sighs, “She wasn’t the real Twilight Sparkle, Dust. She was a clone.”
“She was a living, thinking person. She was sick. She should have been healed.”
Irony shifts and places a hand on my withers, “Dust, she didn’t want healing. She wanted what she thought was taken from her.”
I sigh, and lean into her side, she squeezes me tightly, “I wish things could have been different.”
I feel a tear drop on top of my head, “Me too, Dust. Me too.”
We stay like that for a long time, though eventually our funk is interrupted buy hoof and footsteps upstairs, I look at Irony, who smiles at me. The rest of our family, I stand up to head upstairs, Irony’s speaks up, “Dust, they were too high for cell reception, I don’t think they know you are okay.”
Now I had better hurry, without my magic, I can’t flash down the hall, but I gallop, I leap up the stairs and slide on the kitchen floor as I make the turn. I see Star, Ray, and the foals, the rest of the family is all together, I don’t even check my speed as I leap among them, screaming in joy.
I’m grabbed and held, Star is sobbing, Ray is crying too. I try to answer questions as fast as I’m peppered with them, then one little form is waking up, her golden eyes latch onto me, and she leaps from Alan’s arms, “Mommmmmmeeee!” Mischief screams as I catch her.
I nuzzle my little foal, I’m so happy to see her. She pulls back from the hug, “Daddy Alan was crying, said you were dead.”
I nuzzle her again, “I was, Mischief. But because of the chaos spirit, I’m back. I’m not leaving my little Mischief.”
She cocks her head to the side, a quizzical look on her face, I nuzzle her again, “I’ll tell you more when you are older.”
The family is moving back into the living room, Irony claps a hand on my withers, “You know, Dust. You were dead, and you came back. You should be an alicorn now.”
That get me to freeze for a moment, I reach a hoof to my forehead, and sigh in relief, “Thank Celestia that didn’t happen.”
And so it ends. I will miss this.
stunned, shocked, i just never saw this coming.
i must say Sparky Brony is a mater he nailed discord perfectly. the true meaning behind it all.
you can say a lot about discord but he is just seeking balance for every thing.
this story is a masterpiece in and of it's own.
at some point in time i would love to see this go to print and who knows in time what will happen.
thanks you Sparky Brony for all your work and time it is a perfect ending to you work of art.
this is Harts Fire signing off.
I had a feeling you won't be killing her off for long. I was right. That's not the thing I should be right about.
Good twist with Discord, though. Master trickster always have plans inside of his plans, and too bad so many forget about that. You didn't, you get a cookie.
Well, here we are, at the end of a journey. That was a fun ride (if a bit bumpy in places). Good job.
orig10.deviantart.net/1a60/f/2015/178/c/8/dust_by_alkarasu-d8yz6jt.jpg
I'm sorry it's taken so long to come to this, and I wish I would have gotten to add in to this a bit sooner. I felt that aside from all other motives, Discord would still get his chaos to reign in the end. For what is harmony without chaos? Of course I'm sure you've thoroughly explained it in your story by now, so I am quite satisfied. I also feel that his reason for bringing back Dust would be beyond her comprehension, in the way that she doesn't try to look at herself objectively. The truth is, more chaos and disharmony can be created with her around, rather than making her a martr and strengthening the feelings of harmony in others. Dust cheating death can bring many good things, but bad as well, and with her at the helm, the enemies have had to work harder as a force against her with many joining and assisting Discord without their knowledge.
I hesitated to bring this one back, as much as I loved the character, but I think this should be rephrased as well. Soarin LIVED to save lives and LIVED like a hero. His death was a tragedy because it was completely out of his control. He was brutally executed, something that I can see Discord being hesitant to admit.
I still love this exchange the most. It shows something that would normally need essays of explanation, for coming out and saying it would be simply cast away. "Not everything good can be sweet. In all positivity, there is a chance of negativity." Basically, for one (harmony or chaos) to conquer all, nothing would be accomplished on either end. By shaking the mix and dipping humanity's hand into the proverbial bag of "every flavor" beans, his job simply does itself.
DISCORD! FORESHADOWING!
EXPLOSIONS!
I see what you did there, and I'm rolling on the floor now XD.
I'm pretty sad that things didn't end the way you originally intended, and I feel like you had to censor and cut a lot out on the readers' and pre-readers' account, but I think the story ended well. I don't have any bad tastes left over from the other chapters, and things closed on a pleasant note. If this were heavily edited, I can see the story taking on a much different tone, but it would also lose the character and charm it originally had.
I have to say that I'm slightly surprised by the lack of comments on this chapter alone and am expecting to see more in the afterward, but to me, that's all icing. I've skipped a lot of comments toward the end, but going back to reading them has been just as interesting as always. Alkarasu, Harts Fire, and Canary's comments will be missed quite a bit now, but not more so than this story itself. It's been a wild ride, friend. Thank yoh for your dedication and hard work bringing us the pony words. It means a lot to see a Five Score story finally come to completion.
Best story ever. Congatulations Sparky Brony because today you succeeded in making someone love your side story more than the original. Today I say, goodbye Lightning Dust for the last time.
Wait a minuet, The Epsilon Pegasus?! A bucking sequel?! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!!! I will see you there everybody!
Awe man, I wanted to see Dust rage when she became an Alicorn. Unfortunately not so poetically troped.
Thank Celestia...*breathes sigh of relief*. This was SUCH a good story, and I can't wait to read more. Keep being 20% cooler Sparky Brony!
You have officially made me dumbstruck! This has got to be one of the most amazing stories I have read, and for that, I salute you...
Finished reading last night. This is what I have to say about it.
Hola. Bueno el primer comentario que dejo en esta pagina va para ti, la segunda persona que me hablo.
Al fanfic lo termine ayer y eso. Pero bueno.
Al ser esta una historia de cinco score me llamo la actencion. Antes de esta me lei la vercion original (https://www.fimfiction.net/story/93383/five-score-divided-by-four) y https://www.fimfiction.net/story/110343/the-last-crusade (que manco soy con los enlaces, jeje). Bueno. Si apenas descubri la pagina el 18/3 de esta año y empece a leer como el 20/3, tampoco espere que me alla leido mucho.
Dejando un poco de eso que no deveria corresponder. A hablar del fanfic, supongo.
Me gusto de gustarme, no estubo mal.
Al comienzo me cayo un poco mal con esto del que el personaje tenia mucha plata, pero eso se fue rapido ya que no se hacia mucha mencion de eso.
¿35 años? Que confucion la que tenia yo en ese momento, de apoco y crei que la que iba a convertir seria su hermana(empas descanse) , pero bueno, no voy a discutir el porque de eso. Ya se la razon.... da igual.
Tenia vastantes momentos tragicos el personaje, pero eso era lo que me tenia engancho . Osea, tampoco voy a leer que esta ahi sin hacer nada... esa ya es mi vida .
A los pequeños pony no se les mostraba mucho y el hijo o hija del doctor ray ni llego a nacer.
Bueno. Una cosa estoy deacuerdo, los ponys pueden hacer un mundo mejor.
Tantas cosas que pasaron que ni creo poder escribir lo que fueron todas esas partes para mi. Quizas no me acuerde "todo"... ¿o si? .
Uno que de otro personaje de la manada no se llegaron a mostrar mucho... y yo ni se si la mujer de Dylan quedo embarazada o no.
A bueno. Sigo sigo.
Empas descanse tu padre. "Todos" se merecen un adios, aunque este sea un completo desconocido.
Al final Alan ni llego a ser padre y helem no quedo embarazada por dust cuando se hizo un semental, jajajaja.
Supongo que aqui me detento... tampoco es que este dejando un comentario con mucho sentido a esta esquela.
Chau y buena suerte. Me fue un gusto leer.
So Discord wasn't completely evil after all, still a dick though.
I was late to the party. I read Five Score Divided by Score last year. It ended up being one of the best times of my life to read that story! I started reading fanfiction everyday since. I saw this story but for some reason didn't try it.
Three days ago I decided to start reading this. I was immediately taken away by this story! Seeing my favorite story built on and expanded so incredibly well has been so wonderful to me I can never express enough gratitude for it! I have never felt such a strong array of emotions over the last three days reading this. Happiness, sadness, despair, hope, frustration, anger, resolve, peace, harmony, magic.
I wish everyone would take the time to experience this story. I don't know why the views aren't at least as high or higher than five score. I could never imagine why anyone could really not love this story. But I have to tell you SparkyBrony, you have an incredible ability as a storyteller, and regardless of what anyone else thinks, at least for me, you have given me the time of my life with this story! Dust on the Wind has been a hell of a ride the likes of which I will probably never again experience, and I am damn happy that I took the time to read it!
8889603
Thank you so much for the kind words. I've been a busy author since, so I hope you check out the list ofy stories, maybe you'll find something else among them that you enjoy as much. I had a wonderful time writing Dust, and I hope you enjoy my other pony words as much. I'm even about to release a brand new story, so keep an eye out for The Desert Prince in a week or two.
Just want to say, I hate this story.
But for a good reason. I don't think I've slept more than 3 or 4 hours a night for the past 5 days. This was one hell of a ride.
And that ENDING! HOLY SHIT! I mean, I saw the sign posts Discord had set up, with flashing Neons and everything, But I honestly thought you were gonna kill her (glad you didn't, but the story still would have worked if you had).
(Almost) Every Five Score fic I've read so far has managed to pull out all the stops, and tell an amazing story (even if most of them never made the finish line), but this one, goddamn, this one was waiting there, holding out ice creams to the runner ups as they stagger over the line.
..... only problem is..... Now what do I do?
I have decided. Irony's Story, it is. However, what recommendations do you have?
Hah! Glad I wasn't drinking when I read that.
I finished reading this today. Then Ctrl+F'd Twilight Sparkle and clone to try and figure out a question that seemed left unanswered to me. Maybe I need the interconnected stories?
When the clone was introduced to the story we learn how she came to be and that she was awoken by the magic now in the human world. But through the whole thing we still don't seem to get WHY she was created. Why was that spell cast on Twilight by Celestia in the first place? And I felt there wasn't enough characterization for her for us to figure out why her downfall happened and she became the way she did. She truly believes she is Twilight Sparkle and probably has all her memories up until the cloning process as Velvet assumes. Did everyone deny her self-identity? It's a sore point for her but how could ponies not respect her feelings enough to realize she remembers being friends with them?