Dust on the Wind

by Sparky Brony

Chapter 57. To Get Too Close to the Sun

***Irony***

I watch Dust streak off, her armor falling to the ground as she wails. All I can do at this point is cry, one I love, killed by another that I love. What am I going to do?

I turn and walk into the house, I quickly shed my armor, I don't need it now. I finally relax onto four legs, I've been on two for far too long, my head hurts. My little Zed brightens as he sees me, and I scoop him up, nuzzling him, then I look at Mischief, she's tottling over to me herself. I gather up the white pegasus and hug her tightly.

"Mommy?" Mischief asks.

I am trying not to sob too much, I'm holding my children here, but Mischief asking for Dust causes me to break down. I sob into her mane, and the small pegasus spreads her wings to hold me as best as she can.

"Love Mommy Iree." The small form says, I hold her tightly.

"Mommy Irony loves Mischief." What am I going to tell her? Not now, I can't tell her this now, I'll have to figure out what to say when she asks about Dr. Ray.

Another form crawls onto the couch with me, I feel a pair of hooves wrapping around me.

"I can't believe it, love." Moon Shadow moans as she squeezes me tightly.

"She's always been impulsive, but why?"

"She seemed to believe she was protecting us, but how?"

Helen walks up, she seems to have been able to compose herself for the most part, Mischief reaches for Helen, and a half snoozing Zed snuggles into her arms, "I'll get these two down for a nap."

Mindy comes in, her phone is in her magic, she sets it down, "I've told the other two main pony colonies, and Velvet's group down in Gallup. I told them to send her back here. No matter what, she needs to be here." She lays down, her head on me, "Why, Dustie, why?"

I shift, it's worth the pain right now, I gather Moon Shadow and Mindy together, I stroke both unicorn's manes, "She had her reasons."

"What could be the reason?"

I sigh, "I keep finding myself trying to give her the benefit of the doubt, we have never lost faith in her before."

"But this was Dr. Ray!" Moon Shadow explodes, she rolls off the couch and starts to pace back and forth, I can see how upset she is, easily as much as I am. "Dr. Ray, Irony, the sire for both of our foals, he was the kindest, most gentle pony I've ever met, you and I heard what happened to him before we turned, before he met us. What the hell?"

"She said that he wasn't Dr. Ray."

Moon Shadow scoffs, "If he were transformed from another pony, in death he would have reverted back, just like changelings do when you kill them. That body is still Dr. Ray. It has to be him."

"Could somepony do the spell to endure even after death?"

Moon shakes her head, "Not possible, there is only one unicorn I know with the requisite power, and of course the alicorns could. But Luna didn't, she wouldn't. Neither would Cadance, I'm still not certain where she is now. Twilight is back in Equestria, as is Princess Celestia, and the only pony that could do it would be Sunset Shimmer."

I shake my head violently, "Sunset would never do that."

She sighs, "Then we are back to square one, Irony. It looks like Dust has gone crazy."

I shake my head again, more violently, "I refuse to believe that Dust could ever go that crazy, there has to be a reason."

"Then what is the reason, Irony? I would love to be able to wrap my mind around this, and find some way to believe that Dust hasn't gone homicidal maniac on us."

I look at Moon Shadow sharply, "Moon!"

She looks at me darkly, "Irony, I love Dust as much as you do, but both of us know exactly what that mare has gone through, she's been captured, she's been violently raped, she had all of her feathers ripped out of her wings, she has gone through more than most ponies could live through. In fact, she should have died under that abuse, under that torture. Is it possible that she cracked under the pressure? Where she actually believed that Dr. Ray was a threat? But in fact, her mind has cracked?"

"No, Moon. Dust is the toughest, most stubborn mare I have ever known. I think it's possible for her to break that way, but I think what it would take to actually break her like that would actually kill her. She recovered from all of that, she was happy, and you know how Mischief as affected her. She love being mommy. I can't see her cracking like that."

She slams a hoof onto the floor, "Then why did she do it, Irony?"

I shake my head, "I don't know, love."

I nod, "I'm so exhausted." Emotionally drained would be the better term, I shift back onto four hooves as I head to the stairs, Mindy and Moon Shadow in tow, I hop up on the big custom built bed, laying down , I gather Mindy and Moon Shadow to me, and after a few minutes, Helen joins us. We lie there for a long time, the only sound is the occasional sob from one of us, then there is a soft knock at the door.

"Can I come in?" Star Shine asks.

I nod at him, Moon Shadow is in my forehooves, he crawls up into the bed, his forelegs holding both of us, his wings spreading out over us mares.

"I'm so sorry, Irony." He whispers.

My response is nonverbal, but I think he's able to get my meaning. I stroke his mane with a hoof, we are all just destroyed right now, I can't believe what happened.

***Sunset Shimmer***

"What are we going to do?" I feel the tears falling, Lightning Dust, why did she do that? Oh poor Dr. Ray.

Mindy, she only slept for about an hour or so, comes up, her hair completely flat, "What are we going to do about his body?"

I sigh, "I put a stasis spell over the body, he was human, so he might want to be buried."

Mindy thinks for a long moment, "Sunset, he loved being a unicorn, I think he would like to be treated as one in death."

I sigh again, it's been only a few hours since Dust went crazy. I don't know what to think about what Lightning Dust did, the look on her face scared me. I'm interrupted by the chime of my phone.

"Hello?" I say as I float the phone up to my ear.

"Dust just left here. I have some questions."

I frown and think for a moment, "Twilight Velvet?"

"Well of course, who else would it be?"

I shudder, one of the hardest teachers I've ever had at Celestia's school for gifted unicorns was Twilight Velvet, "What can I do to help you, Velvet?"

"Lightning Dust made some radical accusations when she was here, she's always had good instincts, I want to know something."

"Dust murdered a pony, that is what happened."

"But the why is what's important, Sunset. Do you remember my courses you went through?"

"Yes."

"I remember a young unicorn more interested in reading spell books rather than paying attention to lectures. But I need you to do a resonance test on the body."

I frown, "A resonance test?"

"I can come up and perform the test, if you wish."

I frown, this is my family we are talking about, "I can handle it, Velvet. I'll call you with the results, when I get them."

I sigh as I disconnect and consider throwing the phone into the wall as fast as I can. Then I remember, Dust got us all new phones, and thinking about her brings tears to my eyes. I sorely wish I could simply go up to the bedroom and lay down with my family. But if I don't follow through with what Twilight Velvet asked, the old battle axe will be up here, demanding to do the test herself. I'm going to do it.

I trot quickly down the stairs to the basement, his body is enveloped in a stasis field, the field isn't actually touching the body, but envelopes it, preventing the magic of the spell from tainting anything for evidentiary reasons. We have had to call Mayor Mare, and some Royal Guards took our statements, but they will want to do an autopsy. I don't know.

Mindy followed me, "Sunset, what are we going to do?"

"Dust said that it wasn't Dr. Ray, I have to see if she's telling the truth or not."

She frowns, "But he still looks like Dr. Ray, how is that possible?"

I shake my head, "I don't know, it is possible to put the spell deeply into the subject, make it endure, but very few unicorns have the power."

"Like you?"

I nod. Then a thought hits me, "Did Dr. Ray have something that meant the world to him?"

Mindy thinks for a moment, the teleports away with the sound of a party horn. And in moments the party unicorn pops back. Her horn still alight, she floats a couple of sheets of paper to me, "This was the letter that his brother wrote to him when he killed himself, it was very important to him. This has to qualify."

I hold the papers in my magic. This should work, I place them on the side table, and look at the body, my horn alighting as I unweave the stasis spell, I could let it simply dissipate naturally, but that takes time, and I don't want the residues from the spell to taint my attempt here.

I take a deep breath and delve the body, then I slam down a shield over the body as the spell I just triggered starts. I grunt and pour more power into the shield, "what the hell is that?"

"Uh, Sunset, why are you covering the body with a shield?"

"Somepony put a failsafe into this. And it's strong."

The power pulses, apparently whomever put the spell on was thinking that a unicorn would try to cover the body and was compensating for it. The power was varying wildly, I have to keep up with the variations otherwise my shield would break. An extremely strong pulse pushes through the shield, blowing Mindy back.

"Sunset!" She shouts as she teleports away, in moments she's back. I divert a small bit of attention and magic away from the spell for a second after a peak and connect myself to the floor, if I get blown back, this spell could easily destroy the house, and maybe the block. I'm holding back the equivalent power of a small nuclear device, but it's not just one pulse and done, it's hundreds of pulses, and I have no idea how long it will take. I look at the body, I'm glad I made the shield transparent, I watch the body change under the effects of the spell. The fur changes color to pure black, his mane turns as well.

Mindy moves forward. "Can I scan through the shield?"

I grunt and nod, my body is getting hot, how long can I keep this up?

Mindy moves forward gingerly and her horn alights again, her eyes get wide, "This was never a living pony, Sunset, it was a golem."

I gasp, "A golem? I thought it was Dr. Ray!"

Mindy walks around the body, staying away from the shield spell, her horn shining brighter, "I don't know if I'm reading the weaves right, but this was created out thin air, a construct. And then once it was finished, a morphing spell was used to make it look like Dr. Ray." She moves up to the head, "And the brain, whomever did it had Dr. Ray, because his memories are here, he likely thought he was Dr. Ray."

A particularly hard pulse has me panting, "What can I do with it, Mindy?"

She looks at me bleakly, "I don't know, Sunset, I'm afraid to teleport it away, if the pony that did the spell was planning on a unicorn using a shield spell, they would think of teleporting the body out of danger, and account for that. I think it would be a mistake to try."

"Mindy, I can't hold on much longer, this is a lot of power."

She giggles and her horn alights once again, "I'll help you, Sunset, we are in this together, love."

I can feel her, she's opening herself to me, I desperately reach out and grab a hold of the power she is offering, and she moans as I draw deeply from her magic as well.

She rubs her temple, "Not the easiest way to be brought into a circle, Sunset." Then she does a double take, "Uhh, Sunset, are you aware that not only are your eyes glowing, but your cutie mark is as well?"

I look at her, "So is yours."

She giggles as the spell gets more wild. We both grunt as we fight to contain the power, we can't talk anymore, everything has to be focused on this, and it's only been about five minutes, how long is this going to last?

"What the hell is…" Helen stops in her tracks as she opens the door and sees both of us, our eyes and cutie marks glowing, our manes wafting in magical aether, as the body has been consumed by fire, our shield stretching over the miniature sun in the laundry room of Dust's house.

I'm able to grunt, "Foals, stallions, now."

Helen disappears, and less than a minute later, Moon Shadow comes in, "What…" She stops and looks at the conflagration, she shouts back down the hallway, her words lost in the noise as the fireball gets bigger, stretching the boundaries of the shield.

"Can I join my power to yours?"

I shake my head, all we would be doing would be containing, we need to get rid of this.

She seems to understand, she comes up to me, and her horn alights, I feel a spell settle over my body, and she does the same for Mindy, then the entire room takes on the glow from her horn. She turns to the wall, and a dark spot appears, rapidly expanding into a hole in reality, though I can see stars. Did she just open a gateway into outer space? She screws up her face in concentration, the body launches through the gateway as I direct the shield to go with the body as it moves, once it's through, the gateway closes, cutting off the flow of my magic.

I release Mindy from the circle, and sit down, I can feel sparks of magic all through my body, I think I'm in trouble.

Moon Shadow gasps, "Sunset, you overdid it, your nose."

I swipe a forehoof across my nose, it comes away covered in blood, "That's not a good sign." I say as darkness overtakes me.

***

I'm awaken in the big family bed, though I think a doctor has come, I can feel a pinch on my forehoof, I open my eyes, greeted by my family.

"Hi everypony, what did I miss?" I chuckle weakly.

"For about an hour, we had a second sun. Sunset Shimmer," Irony says.

I just stare at the massive earth pony, "An hour?"

She nods, I look over at Moon Shadow, "Wonderful thinking, that spell would have overwhelmed us in a matter of minutes."

Moon Shadow smiles shyly, "And then likely would have destroyed New Beginnings, and the surrounding land for about a hundred miles. The casualties would have been in the hundreds of thousands."

I let my head flop back down onto the pillow, "Who has that much power to force a fusion reaction inside the body, and have it be triggered so easily?"

"Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, Princess Cadance, Princess Twilight, and you. There may be a few others, Hannah will be able to once her training is completed." Mindy says.

I think for a long moment, "I know I didn't do it, and I have trouble believing that any of the Princesses could do something so horrible."

"Sombra is in Chicago. He might have enough power. I never got a read on him though." Mindy says.

I narrow my eyes, "He was evil, but I don't think it was him."

Irony huffs, "Don't you see what this all means? Dust was right!"

I frown, "I know Dust was right, but how could she know?"

Mindy steps forward, "The answer to that is simple, Sunset. She was a magic user pegasus, and her instincts said that Dr. Ray was a danger to the family as he was, she severed his connection with whomever was controlling him."

Moon Shadow looks thoughtful, "If she had simply accused him, they could have set off the spell remotely, and if you hadn't already been casting magic, the spell would have taken hold immediately, and killed us all."

Irony nods, "We need to call her. Right now." She shifts and reaches over to grab her phone. She taps the screen a few times, and gets voice mail. She tries a second time, same result. She looks defeated.

Moon Shadow smiles, "I'm glad I made those earrings." She puts a hoof to her ear and closes her eyes, then her face scrunches up, after a long moment she opens her eyes, tears starting to fall, "She had to have taken it out, I can feel the earring, it's in Texas, but I can't feel her."

"Where did Dust go?"

I sigh, "I don't know, but we need to let the ponies know, have them let us know if she's found."

Mindy hops up, "I'll get on that, right now."

I look at my family, what are we going to do?"

***Lightning Dust***

Atlanta Georgia, my last resting stop before I hop the gulf and head to Panama. I need to get my head in the game, I need to find Dr. Ray. But right now… I see a building that looks likely, I flutter down and land on the front lawn of the massive building. I sit for a long time, looking at the structure, I can see humans walking into it, and I feel the draw of this place, I look around, it's all humans, though they seem to look at me curiously, they don't really take note of the pegasus in their midst. I hop over a hedge to the sidewalk and head to the entrance, following the humans. I can see them notice me, but the fact there is no uproar tells me that the media campaign has been at least somewhat successful, they don't see a beast, or a monster in their midst. One time I'm happy to be a non issue.

I find a seat and hop into it, staying in the back of the huge auditorium. In moments the lights go down and the band starts to play. I lose myself in the music, singing 'How Great thou Art' really makes me feel a connection, to what, I don't know. But I take comfort in it.

The pastor comes forward after the song ends, "Welcome one and all to First Baptist church." I smile as I settle in for the service.

A little over an hour later, all the humans start filing out. I simply sit, my attention inward as the hall slowly empties. The humans left me alone throughout the service, I just needed to come for that connection. Something at times I craved as a human, and I'm finding I crave it from time to time as a pony as well. Finally someone is standing next to me, I look around, it looks like cleaning staff is working their way through the building. I look at the man, he's in his mid 30's, clean shaven, dark hair, and bright blue eyes.

He holds out a hand, "It's nice to get our first Equestrian visitor."

I shake my head, "Oh, I'm sorry, service is over, I'd better go."

He takes a gentle step forward, his hand still extended, "You are welcome here, all children of God are welcomed here."

I cock my head to the side, "Really? Even ponies?"

"You can talk, you can think, you can know the glory of God himself, so yes, even ponies like you."

I finally extend a hoof, and open my mouth, he cuts me off, "It's nice to meet Lightning Dust of the show."

I chuckle, "And here I am not even having a clue what your name is."

He smiles, "I'm pastor Ron, this is my church, the people are my flock. I take care of them."

I nod, "Thank you Pastor Ron. But I really should be going."

He shakes his head, "Well, in fact, I would like to have a talk with you, would you join me in my office?"

I shrug my wings and hop off the chair, I quickly follow him into his office, and he gestures me to sit in a seat, and he forgoes the desk and sits in the chair next to me. Before I can say a word, his face turns serious, "I can tell a soul in pain, Lightning Dust."

Before I know it, I'm being hugged by the human, sobbing into his shoulder, telling him how everything fit together, how there was an immediate and terrible danger to my family and I had to act. Even though it looked like the pony I loved, doing that tore at my soul.

Finally I put down the last of about the twentieth tissue, "Thank you for listening to me babble away."

He smiles, "Dust, you are an exceptional pony, and it saddens me greatly to know that your family rejected you. I would like to point out an equivalent story in the bible, but sadly, none exist." He stops and chuckles, "That being said, your family was reacting out of pain. I think if you were to go back to them, they would find it in their hearts to forgive you."

I shake my head, "I killed, I killed one who looks exactly like the father to some of our foals, one who has saved several lives with his magic, there is only one thing I can do."

"Find Dr. Ray?"

I nod, "That is the only way they will be able to forgive me. I need to find him."

He gives me another hug, "Then go with God, and know that he truly loves all of his creations." He smiles, "Even the ponies."

I give him a grateful smile as I leave, in minutes, I'm in the air, Panama, here I come.

Comments

[exsnaggerwes]

5687276 http://www.fimfiction.net/story/199452/13/dust-on-the-wind/chapter-13-the-fourth-wall-whats-that
"I only meant to disable him"

[Alkarasu]

*Looks at Twilight here and in the previous chapter*
Something doesn't add up here.

Ok, the herd is redeemed, but Dust is still on probation.

[Canary In The Coal Mine]

So part of the issue is that Dust's actions are the only ones that led to safety, and trying anything else would have resulted in death despite being the first things anyone with common sense would do, and it was conveyed as a gut feeling.

So, the lesson we learned today is that listening to your gut, no matter how insane, is the right choice? I... guess that defines Pinkie Pie, this is just taken to Dust's level?

[Sparky Brony]

5687563 LOL, Dust wasn't acting on gut, she was acting in accordance with her magic.

[Canary In The Coal Mine]

5687637

Lightning Dust's Pinkie Magic Sense has gone off!

While I'm real iffy on the execution of this idea in practice (the series of events, not the writing. It's very well written), I'm a big believer in the importance of Destiny Magic for ponies, as exemplified by cutie marks. I cannot in principle deny these turn of events as a solution to the conundrum you presented earlier, except that it seems on the surface to be a contrived coincidence.

I'm laughing at the idea of Dust going to court over this and the defense being laid out as My Magic Said So, and being proven right as a judge gives the defense attorney a hard stare. I mean, it's laid out so if any other action was taken, disaster for all would have happened. How are you supposed to react to that?

[Sparky Brony]

5687665 With magical creatures (a drum I've repeatedly beaten in this story) like the ponies, they would have to listen to the magic within them. And Dust, as a magic user pegasus, would have a greater attunement to her magic than other pegasi, and even more than most unicorns. Her magic doesn't have to give her a complex message, it has to say that pony is the danger, you must end the danger NOW! And her instincts make her shoot forward with her wing blades at the ready.

[Sparky Brony]

5687559 Previous chapter was Twilight's initial reaction to horrible news. But once she thought about it, she wanted to give Dust a fair shake, that's why she called Sunset.

[Alkarasu]

5687760
The only problem with this is that this property of her magic was never really established. It must be pretty sudden even for herself. Still, it's a magic universe, so A Wizard Did It is a plausible explanation.
What is not is that someone managed to hide a golem, that could be sensed by magic (that is established by Dust sensing it), among the herd of extremely powerful and sensitive unicorns, who's abilities to sense such things are shown from time to time (for Sunset - in the very same chapter).

5687777
Initial reaction or not, she was asked to send Dust home. Yet she did the opposite. She doesn't seem like the one who would deliberately mislead someone in such a situation.

[harts fire]

I just don't really know what to say, this chapter is really good it sheds a hole lot of light on things,
I think I am really starting to understand dust the pony more.
I know we have talked in the past Sparky Brony and you have told me a few times about dust but it never really sank in, I don't know why but something in this chapter it just clicked, I can see ware/how you have dust the pony placed in her life.
I understand now.

thank you sir you are a true gentle pony and I look forward to your next chapter.
and you are now supper close to the 250k word make just think about this a moment 1/4 million words. I can remember when you ware on chapter 6 and me just starting to bug you or should I say chat with you and I look now as to how dust on the wind has grown and how much you have grown in your righting it is just truly amassing.
Harts Fire
C A

[PiMan]

I still think this has been rather poorly executed (a pun I do not use lightly).

[exsnaggerwes]

5687665 badly.

To be honest, I'm surprised that you're so easily convinced that there was no other way to ensure safety of the heard after being 100% sure there WAS only a chapter ago. The world isn't in black and white, and it's only luck that Dust's character flaw had struck again. The events leading up to it were a compelling argument for why her judgement was impaired, and to tell the truth, even if it weren't, the herd could have had things prepared and under control even if Dust hadn't taken action.

But not taking action isn't in Dust's nature.

The other ponies bring the plans to her, not the other way around. First, Soarin was the taskmaster. He, along with his human-acquired computer skills, single-handedly discovered all of the ponies in hiding and in danger, then reported back to Dust, who immediately took action.

More times than once, her plans were as simple as "go in, kick ass, and leave", and when that didn't seem like a viable option, IRONY was there to point it out and offer an alternative. When Soarin passed, Mindy and a few others took over for him to find more ponies that were in trouble. If it had been Dust to get the information, you would be certain that she would be the one to storm in alone and unarmed out of impulse, and she's done it before. This isn't just a random serendipitous occurance, it has been coming for a long time.

At this point, I don't even have to argue for the story's sake. The character herself had made it obvious what would happen in this situation, and the puppetmaster behind the constructs probably knew that she would slip up so easily. That's why the fail safe would have been so destructive and why it was still triggered despite their best efforts.

Dust made an irredeemable mistake, and so did Irony. They are people, and people do that. They're not perfect. That's the point.

[exsnaggerwes]

5687823 Blaze sent her away.

[Alkarasu]

5688221
...from Gallup, yes. Yet,

Lightning Dust, I really hate to say this, but you are not welcome here, and I doubt you will be welcome among any ponies.

...this was not Blaze. I don't see anything along the lines "Mindy called, they want you home" here. Despite

I've told the other two main pony colonies, and Velvet's group down in Gallup. I told them to send her back here.

[exsnaggerwes]

5687959 Have you met Dust?
Killing suspected villains has been an instinct in her that got her into a lot of trouble in chapter 11. If you reread that, it also points out that Soarin told her that if it were her or another's life on the line, he would rather she not hesitate.

That planted a seed of tragedy leading up to Soarin's death. Her slight hesitation (not highlighted) with Corddis in his office could have meant the difference between life and Death for the character who chose to love instead of fight every time. While it wasn't directly her fault, something in her told her that she would be able to fight him fairly and so she tried talking first. Instead of a near-instant victory (like she should have had pre-banishment) she hesitated.

Subconsciously, she remembers that, and honestly, I could see it as a reasonable action for Dust to take.

Screw the magical explanation, Dust would have done it anyway. The magic was just another sense that gave her the tip. The other senses were his unfamiliar scent (which ponies would trust more than their eyes) and the fact that they were set up, and the magical aura coming from construct Ray matched. Any pony could and would have sensed it, but didn't since they thought that it was just a routine takedown. She had the time to think about it while she was cramped in the chariot, rather than flying around and taking detours as usual.

She could have even pieced together that the sly was there at the house before even knowing who it was.

[exsnaggerwes]

5688236 but that doesn't mean that she wasn't welcome at home, despite Irony's demands.

First, the timing made it so that Velvet was probably asleep when they got the call. Mindy may not have even told Velvet over the phone. She could have told Apple Pie or someone else in the house who relayed a fractured message.

She also said she doubted Dust would be welcome anywhere else, probably wary of Irony's rage, if she did get the full message.

People in real life let their feelings confilct with doing the right thing all the time. Best friends may even relay a fractured message on purpose if they believe that one has done something to hurt them. This is abundant in high school, and still evident in adults around my age. Remember that this story happens in this universe where the ponies were once human and humans are many times unforgiving. Velvet probably did it on purpose.

[Sparky Brony]

5688264
5687665

I've got to say, I love how you all think. I've even surprised myself with how deep I dive into these characters, they are real in my mind, and I love all of them. Thank you for investing yourselves into this story like I have. You have no idea what that means to me. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

And just so you know, on Mindy's side, she wasn't thinking very clearly, she said on the phone, Lightning Dust killed Dr Ray, she's gone. And then broke down crying. She informed them, but was too emotional to do more than that, assumptions were made because the other ponies know the law. In such times of extreme grief, messages tend to get garbled.

[Alkarasu]

5688264

Velvet probably did it on purpose.

And this is exactly what bugs me. Because Twilight Velvet from "Velvet Nightfall" doesn't look like someone who'll do something like that deliberately. Also, I can't fail to notice she had not informed the herd that she sent Dust away, not home.
As for miscommunication - everyone who could receive the message was present.
From this setup it more looks like she was behind this all. Especially after she sent Sunset to perform exactly the spell that triggered the explosion.

[Alkarasu]

5688312
Ah, so it was Mindy. Fine, she could be unreliable.
But you better put that in the story itself at some point.

[exsnaggerwes]

5688312 Here's where I'll disagree with you.
I do think that that's a possibility, and it's one I'm entertaining, but my point was simply that. There are a lot of factors that won't be explored because they'll distract away from the story.

The reader has to pick up on that (like they were doing) and use it to further analyze the characters.
5688236 this criticism is good, and I agree with it, though I disputed it as well. However I think that should speak more about Velvet's character and less about the writer's. Mindy being a mess and/or Velvet being unable to think clearly are both factors.

[exsnaggerwes]

5688326
Sweet analysis there. I like it

[exsnaggerwes]

5688326 OH MY GOD

Is Velvet powerful enough to make constructs like that, too?

[Alkarasu]

5688339
Velvet is a trained army professional (twice). Mindy is the only possible weak link there. It either her, of Velvet being evil.

5688349

I shudder, one of the hardest teachers I've ever had at Celestia's school for gifted unicorns was Twilight Velvet

Her special talent here is magic.

[exsnaggerwes]

5688360 Now I'm confused. If Velvet's on such a pedestal, then how could she possibly be evil? It's not like someone taking her place would have the magic to perform such a spell.

I'm also factoring in that she's the main character of another fic (one I am yet to read), which ties in with this one. There is no possible way she could be the bad guy, and therefore the weak link really does have to be Mindy like you said.

[Alkarasu]

5688370
She can't possibly be evil, of course, but that is our meta knowledge. We can't really get it from this story alone. In fact, we can't even know it from the fact that there is a story about her without reading that story first - it could be a story of a villain.

[Canary In The Coal Mine]

5688211

To be honest, I'm surprised that you're so easily convinced that there was no other way to ensure safety of the heard after being 100% sure there WAS only a chapter ago.

I'm still upset at how this was all executed. Had this chapter been combined with the last one instead of a wait, I wouldn't have complained except to say it felt like a contrived coincidence; like the author wanted to have Dust kill her herd member for the shock value and worked up an excuse to have that happen rather than have the situation flow naturally from a replacement plot.

The delay and letting us stew over what we thought wrong with the situation did upset me, but I chose to stay with the story because I wanted to believe that this story which I had enjoyed until last chapter wouldn't jump the shark so easily. My happiness that the story wasn't irredeemable isn't the same as me being happy with how the plot unfolded to the reader.

All the audience got last chapter from Dust's perspective was that Dr. Ray felt wrong. There was no attempt to tie it to a Pinkie-like sense as there is now, and Dust was unable to articulate her actions and appeared a madpony. Without this chapter, there is every reason to assume Dust is unstable and was possibly a danger to everyone whose mere scent being wrong could set her off. And we had no way of knowing the herd changed their minds at all last chapter, so the comment that 5687559 made seemed valid that her herd completely abandoned her instead of what being in shock, but did in fact change their minds but were delayed by the explosion in passing the message around.

Assuming the danger was very real and Dust's magic let her know of it, we've a reasonable excuse for her actions and the perceived actions of the herd. There won't be a fear of Dust going crazy should she return because her magic just saved everyone's lives. She's a hero, even if she didn't realize it.

There is still the stuff that was said before Dust left that will have to be taken back, but Dust is such a broken character that she'd probably just forgive them anything they said to get them back and she does realize that her actions without context seemed mad. Were she more proud I think this could be a relationship killer. Instead I imagine almost the exact opposite, with Dust becoming paranoid that she'll drive her family away and suffer nightmares about being abandoned so easily by her family because that is exactly what they did.

I have doubts that their family will get through this stronger as the author claimed though. At least, not in a healthy way.

On a personal note as I said before I like Destiny Magic and anything that relies on that. It's a core staple of MLP:FiM canon that isn't delved into much. A surprising number of stories either forsake that part of the canon, or just play it off as a joke with Pinkie Sense. Just the fact that it's being used seriously in several ways, specifically here as a magical sense of danger from Dust went a long way to changing my opinion, but only because I like the idea behind it if not the circumstances. Much easier to swallow than my mind control speculation (even if they are equally convoluted).

the herd could have had things prepared and under control even if Dust hadn't taken action.

I think this quote contradicts you

Mindy steps forward, "The answer to that is simple, Sunset. She was a magic user pegasus, and her instincts said that Dr. Ray was a danger to the family as he was, she severed his connection with whomever was controlling him."

Moon Shadow looks thoughtful, "If she had simply accused him, they could have set off the spell remotely, and if you hadn't already been casting magic, the spell would have taken hold immediately, and killed us all."

This assumes even the comment of Dust exclaiming that Dr. Ray is a fake might have immediately triggered the explosion, and the herd would not have been able to stop it. Sunset wouldn't have been prepared to shield against it like she ended up doing.

So we can only conclude that it was a trap that the only reason it didn't go off was because Dust killed the doppelganger before it could even register that Dust was attacking (and severing the remote connection that would allow for an immediate explosion).

The author puts forth the idea of Dust's magic sense that tipped her off that Dr. Ray was such a danger. Perhaps you are right that it was Dust's learning to not hesitate and piecing together clues that worked out in this instance when in any other scenario might not have, but A Wizard Did It is the excuse being offered by the author. Despite Dust not being able to articulate why she did it adequately, can you honestly claim that she made an irredeemable mistake when she saved everyone's lives?

An aside, there is a kind of moral problem being swept under the rug in that the doppelganger probably thought it was real because it had all of Dr. Ray's memories. So in a way, Dust did in fact kill Dr. Ray who while dying honestly thought Dust betrayed him for no reason and was completely mad. Expendable Clones indeed. Also implies that were they to have questioned Dr. Ray, they would have found him the same as the original in every way knowledge wise.

[Alkarasu]

Oh, just a quick minor detail I missed in the first pass.
Sombra is human in FS, he can't do anything like that.

[Phenrys]

5688211

Dust made an irredeemable mistake, and so did Irony. They are people, and people do that. They're not perfect. That's the point.

I'm very glad that someone besides myself recognized what is really going on here.

[Alkarasu]

5688630
It's not that hard to understand what's going on. The problem is not in understanding that.
The problem is that there will be tomorrow, and in that tomorrow they'll have to live with the memory of exactly how much trust they place in each other in the moment it matters most. Though, "much" is not the right word in this context, I guess.

[Alkarasu]

Damn, I need to sleep more, I miss so many things, and some are important.

"She said that he wasn't Dr. Ray."

Actually, she never did. In fact, that is a major concern - the scene after the murder is more believable with Dust not saying it, as it creates misunderstanding that leads to her exile (she does sound like she just killed Dr. Ray and fine with it there). But now, Irony claiming she did breaks it up completely. If Dust did say that, then they would've had a confrontation on that point right there, it's in a natural flow of conversation and therefore doesn't change much from the emotions. Then, most likely, they could've checked the body right away. But if she did not (as it is in the previous chapter), Irony have no reason to claim that she did, and this breaks the flow of this chapter.

[Sparky Brony]

5688998 Dust said this pony as she kicked the body, irony was able to understand what she meant after thinking about it. She didn't initially believe it, but she understood what Dust was trying to say more.

[Alkarasu]

5689067
Yes, that's exactly the line that made her sound like a cold blooded murderer of late Dr. Ray. Probably needs a rephrase, because it's unlikely that Irony had picked up on such a small detail in her state.

[exsnaggerwes]

5688440 what would you change?

[Sparky Brony]

5689094 I can ponder it and think about a rephrase, the thing is, Irony was in shock initially, she reflected on the words as she was replaying everything in her mind, trying to figure out why Dust did it. She loves Dust and truly has trouble believing that Pegasus could be so cold, but the evidence initially before her eyes says exactly that. So she goes over it in her mind, over and over. I think with a sharp mind like irony's, she could suss out Dust's meaning.

[Alkarasu]

5689133
I'm not questioning the sharpness of her mind. But her memory under stress is another question. To catch that little detail she needs eidetic memory.

[Canary In The Coal Mine]

5689099

I wouldn't have written the scenario to where Dust killed a herd member in front of the others and then be unable to explain her actions.

Not to say the replacement scenario is bad, it just could have been handled in several different ways that wasn't murder without explanation leading to banishment. The fact that the clone had all of Dr. Ray's memories and could pass all casual scans could have been the key in finding alternative ways of having drama, with no one believing Dust and her increasingly growing paranoid.

If that scene had to go through, I'd have included more foreshadowing. Not that Dr. Ray was an imposter, but of Dust's danger sense growing. Perhaps her staring at Ray and him noticing, and the danger sense growing exponentially as Ray was closer to realizing that something was wrong and setting off the explosion. Something that directly pushed Dust to do something about it even if she couldn't fully explain why afterwards. I probably would have even had showcased the danger sense in an earlier scene so it didn't appear out of left field. It would have still lead to a ton of WTF reactions, but the audience would know there was something more going on.

I'm conflicted how I would have handled the herd scenes afterwards. I wouldn't have put them in that scenario if I could help it because I feel it would make the relationships much more difficult because of the lack of trust. But if the author went to the trouble of including the scene I feel it should be milked for an appropriate level of drama, which it has been and at the same time has not with the herd recanting themselves after Dust is banished, after they did and said things that could have made someone suicidal under other circumstances. Since the conclusion hasn't played out I can't really comment on how well the whole thing goes, so I'm shelving my reaction for now.

There's another story that had a similar scenario: Forgiveness Pending chapter 25 (I read it without context the first time and I understood most of what went on). It has everything: the protagonist doing something the others can't understand, a standoff, choosing (the wrong) sides and saying things that can't be easily taken back, and going so far as to mortally wound the protagonist to make things right, only for them to be proven how deadly wrong they were to not believe them. It also got a lot worse. The story then spends a dozen chapters trying to make right what happened in that one scene afterwards. Everything that happened is explained and flowed naturally from the scenario presented. I recommend giving it a read for a compare and contrast.

[exsnaggerwes]

5689385 I like the way you think. Would you mind if I asked you to preread for me sometime in the future?

[Canary In The Coal Mine]

5689429

I'd be glad to help! We should probably take it to PMs though.

[Jirodyne]

I shake my head, "I killed, I killed one who looks exactly like the father to some of our foals, one who has saved several lives with his magic, there is only one thing I can do."

"Find Dr. Ray?"

I nod, "That is the only way they will be able to forgive me. I need to find him."

But wait.... Dust never gave any names! How did the priest know it's Dr. Ray!

[Sparky Brony]

5690166 She babbled enough of the story for him to know the name, nothing sinister here.

[Jirodyne]

5691593 But I like sinister... and she would be emotional enough to not notice >.>

[Slicer Jen]

Hmm...Wheel of Time anyone?

[Midknight Defender]

"And then likely would have destroyed New Beginnings, and the surrounding land for about a hundred miles. The casualties would have been in the hundreds of thousands."

Holy buck. When I said bomb spell, I was being hypothetical.

LD, ya dun gud, but it wasn't enough. Good thing ol' Moonymoon had it covered.

[harts fire]

"Who has that much power to force a fusion reaction inside the body, and have it be triggered so easily?"

Twilight Sparkles 2.0 evil version.