The Difficulty of Saying Goodbye

by apaulingbrony

Rarity

Life goes very fast when there isn't much time left I realized as I lay in my hospital bed in Manehatten. It is amazing how fast your life can change. One minute you’re laughing with your friends about some silly and not so appropriate joke that Rainbow Dash had made, the next your flat on your back with the worst pain you've ever felt coursing through your gut.

Now I was in a pure white room, with dreary gray curtains, and a wonderful view of a Manehatten alley way. Loud, irritating beeps pulsed through the room and was complimented by the soft snores coming from a little heap of blue and rainbow curled in a chair by my bed.

Turns out Tirek did finish me off, not directly of course, the girls and I had beat him. However holding the combined magic of four Alicorns, four demigoddesses (though I hated when ponies said that- I'm still a normal pony)... well even I could not contain it without some serious side effects. The magic was too much for me to handle and it had started to erode some of my vital organs. My kidney's and liver are shot and my lungs are weakened considerably.

At least I'm alive for now... I guess that's something to be thankful for.

I looked down at my right hoof; at the IV connected to the morphine that made my life, what little I had left, livable. Purple fur had been shaved away to allow the needle to find a vein and for some reason that made me smile. Not due to the fact that the fur around my hoof had been shaved but rather due to the reaction of a certain fashion designer.

---

The nurse pony, I think her name is Red Heart, trotted over to my bed. Rarity, who had taken up the vigil my friends seemed to think was vital to my continued existence, was gently scooted to the side by the nurse.

“Ok dearie, I’m gonna put this IV in now. The morphine should help with the pain, and we will be able to pump some vital nutrients into you as well.” Red Heart said pulling out a small razor.

“Um excuse me? Why do you have a razor?” Rarity asked

“I have to shave off just a little bit of her fur so I can find a good vein dearie, nothing ridiculous.”

“I beg to differ! There is no reason for you to-”

“Rarity-”

“No Twilight this is ridiculous! There is no reason for your beautiful coat to be ruined!” Rarity proclaimed sternly, tears coming to her eyes.

Why does this matter to her so much? Its not that big a deal!

“Uh- sorry Rarity but I’m in a rather large amount of pain so I’m just going to allow the nurse to do it.”

“Thanks dearie”

“I- I get it, a-apologies I don’t know what came over me Twilight.”

“It’s ok Rarity, your just looking out for me.”

Rarity and I watched as Red Heart shaved a small patch by my right hoof and inserted the needle. I winced a bit as the needle entered my skin but my wince quickly turned into a smile as the nurse turned on the morphine. Immediately I felt a wave of euphoria wash over me and my pain vanished. Without knowing I had begun to smile ridiculously.

“There you are dearie! Feels good huh?”

“Yes, very much so thank you!”

And now I understand addiction.

“Well I’ll leave you be now, if you need anything ring the bell by you bed and I’ll be here quicker than you can say: help me I’m in pain!” Nurse Red Heart said with a smile before turning and trotting out of the room.

The room was quiet for a while after nurse Red Heart left. Rarity was looking out the window introspectively, which of course I found rather interesting considering the view the window gave.

Is she still mad about the IV? It really isn't that big a deal.

“It shouldn't be you.” Rarity said, making me jump from the sudden end to the silence.

“What do you mean?” I asked

“It shouldn't bucking be you!” Rarity sobbed “i-it shouldn't be you, you brought us together, and you’ve always been the strong one. You’re always the one to save the day. I just can’t see you like this! Wires going into you, patched fur. Look at yourself Twilight! You’re so skinny you're just so damn skinny.”

The room was silent again, for a time Rarity cried silently before latching on to me, hugging me close and matting my fur with her tears. I cried as well and messed up her mane with my tears, a crime which I am sure in any other situation would've been a death sentence, but seeing as I already had a death sentence I wasn't too worried.

So that's what this is about, I was wondering who would be the first one to break down like this, my bet was on Pinkie Pie but I guess I should have known it would be Rarity.

“I-I’m sorry Twilight. I-I just don’t know how to deal with this. You- you’re dying. You’re leaving us behind.”

“Oh Rarity look at me.” I said raising her head with a shaky hoof. “Of course it shouldn’t be me.”
She looked at me quizzically.

“This shouldn’t happen to anypony, but it’s just a part of life.” I explained as I drew her into a hug. “Everypony has to die at some point.” I finished with a whisper.

“But you were never supposed to! You’re an alicorn you’re supposed to live forever!” Rarity said her eyes locking with mine. "You were the one that was supposed to watch us die, it was never supposed to be the other way around."

"I know. Rarity I know." I said letting her snuggle into my neck, in many ways much like a foal would to their mother. "But if there's anything I've learned from this is you have to make the best of a bad situation and always face it with a smile on your face because if there is one thing that will kill you faster than any disease, its hopelessness."

That was the end of that conversation. She stayed in my embrace until Rainbow Dash came to relive her of her vigil. She said nothing as she left but there was nothing to be said. We both understood that this was goodbye and I didn't want to stress her more than I already had.

---

"TWILIGHT!" Rainbow shouted, snapping me out of my memories.

"Oh sorry Dash I must have spaced out a bit there." I replied sheepishly

"Geez Twi! Don't scare me like that!"

"Sorry!"

And with that we shared a laugh and a smile, content to ignore the inevitable.

Author's Note:

So this is the first of seven chapters, my challenge to myself is to elicit an emotional response from my readers within 1500 words for each chapter.
Please comment, up vote, down vote, whatever you feel my story deserves.
However I ask if you do down vote please tell me why.
I always enjoy feedback
Thanks
apaulingbrony

Comments

[Zerodius]

And this one... is actually an interesting concept. And Rarity pretty much summed it up: it's basically expected that due to ascension, Twilight has been gifted with immortality.

... but fact is, was she really? And even if she was, it was with immortality, not invulnerability. And though one would expect it would mean falling in combat or in an accident... people often forget about diseases and how unforgiving they can be.

For an immortal to come to terms with eternity and for mortals to accept that they'll grow old while their immortal friend will remain young is one thing. But to see the supposedly immortal kneel over and die before the mortals... it's surreal and in a way, insanely tragic. Those who claim that "mortality is a blessing/immortality is a curse" have not watched loved ones die. Being mortal does not make it any less painful.

If the other Mane Six came to terms with the fact that they'd die before Twilight and that Twilight came to terms with how she'd end up outliving her friends, such an event is likely to be especially devastating. There is a reason that the death of children and younger people is so painful for older people ; watching a loved one die at the end of its life is one thing. Watching it be yanked out of life before its time is another.

In short, this is a nice inversion of the usual case and I'm definitely curious about future chapters. I do feel the prologue is a bit abrupt ; for example, it didn't make clear what exactly is Twilight's disease or injury and what it might be that it's 100% lethal but it's certainly decently writen and I'm intrigued so far.

[apaulingbrony]

4589591
Thanks for that. It's great to hear positive feedback like that.
As for not knowing what Twilight is dying from, I honestly haven't decided whether or not to leave it ambiguous or not. Part of the reason I do not out right say what she is suffering from is to allow the reader to apply his or hers own experience in illness or disease to the story.

So in short I may or may not actually tell you that.
Thanks
For being so thoughtful have a mustache

[Zerodius]

4589626
I'm glad you liked my comment!

As for the illness... you should probably come up with something, if only so the story has more coherence regarding Twilight's symptoms. It's not forced to be based off a real disease and can be magical but generally, I'm of the school of thought that the 'vague incurable cough of death' is not interesting to read about ; it feels cheap, like the character is not really in pain and is dying because the plot call for it to do. Okay, so the premise is pretty much "incurable disease" but... I hope my point still made sense.

My own theory/suggestion would either be a side-effect of magic overload (Twilight, as a mortal, was already insanely powerful. Then as an alicorn, she was boosted further. Then during the Tirek story arc, she ended up with the magic of basically the *whole world* inside her. My theory is that trying to shove that much magic into a single initially mortal body did the equivalent of trying to shove an elephant in a barrel: the pressure cause it to explode). Basically, her body is breaking down, with organ failures practically everywhere, her magic leaking, and generally Twilight's internal organs starting to look like swiss cheese. Due to her power, it cannot be reversed and even it it could, the sheer damage to her body means various vital organs are either failing or have a few years of life at best.

Now, I'm thinking it would be interesting if one of the characters to react to this will be Celestia. It's probably to be especially painful to her ; while the others simply expected Twilight to outlive them, Celestia was basically investing herself emotionally into Twilight fully, gifting her with immortality with either the intention or her realizing it meant they'd get to be together... only for fate to basically punch her in the face and make Twilight die anyway. Given Twilight is practically her adoptive daughter and how deeply she love her (especially when you take in account how much of a fiasco her last personal student turned out to be), this can't possibly feel good for her.

[apaulingbrony]

4589697
Whats funny is that is exactly what I was thinking for the disease if I had to explain it!
Thanks

[Unbridled Dolly]

I really liked the concept. It would be a really tragic story, but the annoyingly large amount of run on sentences have taken my attention away from the story.

[apaulingbrony]

4644872 yeah I'm not exactly the best writer, and I need an editor. Thanks for the feed back though!

[Unbridled Dolly]

4649008 I would have said it even if you asked for it.