Nightmare Moon cackled sinisterly at Twilight and Spike's statements, "Well, well, some ponies that DO remember me. Then you know why I'm...." She stopped abruptly.
She blinked a few times
Silence reigned.
"Wait.." She looked at Spike, "Did I hear him right?? Did you say 'your mother!?"
He snarled, "I'm not going to ask again." His horn ignited, and a ball of jade green flame manifested between his hands.
"Seriously?" She started to laugh again, "You're tell me Sunnybutt is really a MOM!? Oh this is too rich! I can't believe she actually popped out a sprog! And judging from those wings, she must've been feeling adventurous!"
"ANSWER ME!" With a hard push, he launched the fireball towards her.
Only for it to splash uselessly on the shield she tossed out.
He launched another; nothing.
Charging up his horn, he took flight and let loose with a straight beam of magic. It crackled against her defenses, causing an impressive light show, but little else.
"Well, that was in an interesting display." She smirked, "But your technique is all wrong." With a snap of her fingers, what looked like a jet black marble appeared on the tip of her horn and grew until it was as big as a pony's head. Her eyes slowly scanned the crowd before settling on a certain lavender mare, "Let me show you how it's done!" She hissed, sending the orb screaming towards her.
Twilight froze; it was moving fast enough to still clip her if she tried to dodge, and even if she did avoid it, it could still hit the ponies behind her!
"Twilight!" In a flash of green flame, Spike teleported in front of her and brought up his own shield, reinforcing it with his wings. The black orb shattered the shield and slammed into him, sending the flying over her head for at least five yards before thudding back to the ground.
"SPIKE!" She screamed, running to his prone form. The membrane of the wing it had first struck had a black scorch mark and the wrist joint was already starting to swell slightly. Relief washed over her when she got close enough to see he was still breathing.
"Nnnnhhh.." A dull groan escaped his lips, "Now I know how a golf ball feels...ow..."
"Seize her!" The Mayor shouted to the royal guards, who took off at her, "She's the only one who knows where the Princess is!"
"Stop!" Spike grunted as Twilight helped him up.
"FOOLS!" Nightmare roared, calling forth a bolt of lightening to knock them out of the air. "Remember this day, little ponies." She leered at them, "For it will be your last. From this moment on, the night will be ETERNAL!" She laughed maniacally as she shifted into a cloud and took off into the night.
"Get back here!" Rainbow Dash yelled, breaking free from Applejack's grip and flying off after her, only to see the cloud vanish into the distance, "Eternal...night?' She asked worriedly before spotting Twilight and Spike running out, "Where are THEY going?"
-----------A Few Minutes Later: At The Library-----------
"Elements! Elements! Elements!" Twilight frantically rummaged through books.
"There's nothing here!" Spike yelled in anger, followed by a loud thump.
She whirled around to see him bracing himself against the wall with one hand, his other resting on the shelf he'd just knocked several books off of. It wasn't hard to hear him breathing heavy, "Spike?" Concern laced her voice.
"I'm sorry, Twi..." He responded quietly.
She moved closer to him, "Sorry? For what?"
"Nightmare Moon, the elements, the whole thing! I should've taken you more seriously about this!" He panted, more from the lingering pain than anything, "Now Mom's missing and that...that psycho mare is out there doing who knows what!" He halted when she suddenly appeared in his field of view and wrapped her arms around him.
"There's nothing to be sorry about, Spike." She whispered, "I honestly hoped that I was wrong about it all. Neither of us could have been a hundred percent certain about it."
He was motionless for a few moments before letting out a long, sighing exhale, "Yeah, you're right Twi. I just don't know which I'm worried about more; Mom or what might happen to the other ponies in Equestria."
"Which is why we have to try and find something that'll tell us where the Elements of Harmony are."
"And just what ARE these 'Elements of Harmony', huh!?" Rainbow Dash demanded, zipping up in front of them, "And how did you two know about Nightmare Moon!? And what's this whole business Spike was getting worked up about back there--whoa!!" She yelped as Applejack yanked her back down by her tail, Fluttershy, Rarity, and Pinkie Pie right behind her.
"Simmer down, Dash." The farm mare spoke up, "Getting riled up ain't gonna help nopony, but you're right about one thing." She looked at the pair, "There's a lot more to this than either of ya are lettin' on, isn't there?"
Twilight looked at the five, "According to the prediction concerning Nightmare Moon, some mysterious objects called the Elements of Harmony are the only things that can stop her. But, we don't know what they are, or where to find them."
"We don't even know what they're supposed to do." Spike added.
"The Elements of Harmony: A Reference Guide." Pinkie spoke up, looking at one of the nearby shelves,
Before Twilight almost bowled her out of the way, "How'd you manage to find that!?"
"It was under E-ee!" She replied, bouncing by in a sing-sing voice.
"Oh." Twilight had the grace to look sheepish as she took the book down, "There are six Elements of Harmony, but only five are really known: Kindness, Laughter, Generosity, Honesty, and Loyalty. The sixth is a complete mystery. It's said the last known location of the five Elements was the ancient castle of The Royal Pony Sisters, located in what is now..."
"'The Everfree Forest'!" They gulped in unison.
You underestimated spike way to much right there tbh, even if he's part dragon his emotional connection would've caused his power to massively increase when part of his family was in danger, his inert dragon power or that side of his heritage would've showed its face and show exactly why you don't mess with a dragons families, especially the mother. Even if you want to play the card that nightmare moon is a powerful "goddess" still on terms of raw power and strength a dragon got most of these lowborns beat, even a untrained individual, which in hindsight prob stronger but lacking control and restraint that would come with years of training would still beat most, and to add that his family which I think many dragons consider their real hoard, would prob pulverize her without a sweat dropped, still he's only half which may limit his power on the dragon side but it should be the most dominate which in return would boost his magic resistance and power output past even twilight, but that's in my opinion and on how I think dragons or half-dragons or anything with dragon blood in them should be considered as, a god damn pulverizer. Hoorah
Hmm, he's going with them this time is he? Really, something like eternal night is an event worth losing a night of sleep over.
Interesting. I am so incredibly pleased that Spike's attack turned out to be useless. If he had had any effect, he'd have been a Sue. I honestly thought he would be taken out of action by Moon's response, making the girls have to go alone as they did in the show. I'm still kinda hoping for that. Because, again, with Spike's current abilities and personality, you need be careful at all times that he doesn't become a Sue. In short: "Spike as an awesome kirin, who gets lots of female attention" is such a Sueish starting point that you really, really need to remember to not give all the awesome moments to him. Because if you don't make the others shine and do better than him at times, you have a huuuuuuge Sue on your hands. Or Stu, if you want to use a male term.
So I'm really glad you disappointed 5930799.
And speaking of you. You can't claim there is underestimation when it is completely your own opinion on how dragons "should be". I have seen not a single episode of this show that says dragons are more powerful than really powerful beasts. Big, strong, tough as nails, but nothing beyond that. Even in fiction, dragons vary in power to a ridiculous degree and MLP seems to be some of the middle power levels. I'm personally iffy about dragons with magic other than what it would require to be flying, almost indestructible creatures of that size.
Happy writing.
5930906 Why does anything that have effect on some villain automaticly labeled them as sue? that is stupid...powerful character doesn't equal sue.
I have no problem with Spike being somewhat ...well ot powerful because he is young mainly...
5931003. I don't mind someone having an effect on a villain. I mind it when the power levels are so different. And when I meant he would have been a sue, that's because he can check off a lot of sue points: Uberspecial, probably one-of-a-kind half-breed, son of the Sun Alicorn, adored by everyone, so far without any real flaws, with just about all the good points of both sides of his family tree. If he, on top of all this, had broken through the shield of an Alicorn with more than a thousand years more experience than him, that would have made him a Sue. That's like someone who has studied karate for a year or two charging headlong at an adult in his prime, who has trained since he was four. If a character like that had much success, I would also label him a Sue unless it was simply because he was so untrained that he was impossible to predict.
Seriously, has this version of Spike made any mistake so far? I know, he was wrong not to believe Twilight about Nightmare Moon. But there are very few flaws with this guy and that is worrying.
5931175 I just find it annoying that every character that can be considered somewhat powerful are automaticly considered Sue...And i was like WTF?
5931175 Well you have to consider what has been shown so far. We had like what, 3 chapters about his childhood? Maybe 4? He was shown to be a mischievous child since he was in that wing of the castle that he was not allowed to wander in. After that it's pretty much just magic practice with Twilight, and then they go to Ponyville. In what instance were you expecting him to make a mistake? When Applejack offered them food was he just supposed to slap her and say "fuck your apples skank!" because that would have been kind of ridiculous. I'm honestly a little turned off by the fact that a half dragon half alicorn, a hybrid of what amounts to the 2 strongest creatures in the world, while in a frenzy, was not able to muster up the raw power needed to at least slightly phaze his alicorn aunt. Experience is all well and good, but an ant can't defeat an elephant, no matter how skilled, and a heavyweight who has been doing karate for 2 years will beat a featherweight who has been doing it for 10. Raw power accounts for a lot, and I honestly feel Spike was waaaaay too fucking weak considering his lineage.
5931250
Dragons have exactly zero magic in the show, at least in the kind that has anything to do with throwing around balls of it, except for Spike's sending flame. In this, he is a hybrid of what is usually dumb but powerful muscle (dragon) and immensely powerful magic (Alicorn) and that is assuming the hatching was even slightly similar to normal half-and-half mix.
I will give you that it this fic specifically states Tia would be hesitant to anger a mother dragon but that might just as well be "dragons are huge, powerful, tough enough to stand even magic attacks and when enraged, dangerous even to an Alicorn". MLP dragons are more like traditional western dragons, tough but dumb and pretty non-magical. They're not DnD Dragons and this fic doesn't really say anything about them being otherwise. Except for their fire birthing flame having similarities to unicorn magic, there is no reason to think they have external magic, unless I missed it, in which case I will admit I'm wrong.
I'd personally expect and want him to have watered down versions of his parents' abilities, because any hybrid who gets "the best of both worlds and none of the bad" is pretty broken. As such, I kinda expect him to be at most "50% alicorn, 50% dragon." So probably as tough as a dragon, because both races are extremely tough, but only half as strong, at most, in magic. And he is not nearly fully grown and pretty untrained. I don't buy your heavyweight-featherweight argument because I just don't think he is nearly as strong as a regular Alicorn, but I can see we are coming from two completely different setups.
In general, anyone who isn't even a full adult and more importantly, who hasn't trained for combat to the exclusion of all else, going up against a thousand year old creature capable of controlling celestial bodies should have exactly zero chance.
And yes, I am aware that this makes me dislike the basic setup of a lot of stories, especially anime where most protagonist are teens going up against godlike beings, but they at least only have a chance after incredible amounts of trouble and training.
Also, I am aware that there hasn't been many chances for him to mess up. But you don't have to insult people like your example to mess up. Be dense in a way that is actually a problem (him missing Twi's jealousy isn't really an issue) or be insensitve (kinda his thing in the show proper) or say the wrong thing in small ways. Or even better, just have him not do the right things or say the right things in most cases. Have him be innocently out of touch in some ways. He has gone from Canterlot to the sticks after all.
Well, sorry for the rant. I'm just extra aware of the serious risk of sues that always appears when you have someone like this character. I literally cant' count the number of times someone went wrong with the "Oh, we take this character, make his past different, give him awesome powers and have everybody like him." TVtropes has an expression for where this often ends: Possession Sue and Spike is a frequent target for that. And because I like this story in general, I want it to avoid that pitfall.
Cheers. And thanks for the opportunity to try to make some coherent arguments. I hope I'm not terribly abrasive.
Moar
5931308 I would think Spike's fire breath is complete proof that dragons do possess some form of external magic which they can exert some level of control over, because that's exactly what it is, him using some form of magic. Obviously that's not enough to assume they can be some form of powerful wizards, but it shows they do have some level of magical power, not just physical traits. I think the assumption that a hybrid would only possess half the abilities of it's parent species is pretty strange, since I would think the combination itself would make for strange and unknown effects and abilities. I would also say he has definitely not taken the benefits of both sides of his lineage, and the easiest way to realize this is his description. It says he is only partially covered in scales, and the rest is fur, so it is a logical assumption that he is not immune to fire like dragons in MLP seem to be. He may be able to take a blow, but he should be rather vulnerable to cutting weapons, whereas a dragon would have much more resilience to them. Also you keep mentioning how nightmare has more experience and training than he does, and if they had a fight I would agree that he should lose 100%, but they didn't have a battle, he just launched an attack with all his might, and she put up a shield, and that's it. There was no point to that confrontation where skill could have played a part, it was simply spear met shield, and spear was so horrendously insignificant to shield that it didn't even leave a scratch, and I think that's a little dumb. Like I said before, I don't think he should have defeated nightmare or anything, but to have absolutely no effect with an out-pour of his full magical power, which honestly should be somewhat enhanced because of his rage, which as a draconic being he should have plenty of, was completely ineffective to the point of being laughable, is just wrong.
Why is it that half of the good fics that actually update have chapters that are so short? Looking forward to more.
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.
So are you going to give Spike an element or something like it to put him on the same playing field as the girls?
5931500 Half and half is one of the best outcomes. The odds of such a good combo between such different species are bad enough without wanting the combo to give unexpected boosts because the most likely unexpected things to come out of hybridization between very differing creatures are sterility and handicaps. Of course, this is dragging biology into a magically hatched egg of a fictional species.
In terms of narrative, half and half is good because it avoids all the ponies being completely unnecessary except for acting as mobile batteries for the Elements. If Spike was far more powerful than Twilight, who is far more powerful than the others in most respects even before ascension, he will just make the rest of the Six useless.
But as I said, we approach this from two completely different viewpoints. I just don't see his dragon side as something that should necessarily enhance his magic in any way and I frankly don't want that either, which is of course, all my opinion. And neither do I think his rage should enhance it. I, for one, like the "no sell". It works to establish that Nightmare Moon is an order of magnitude above him, where I want her to be and it makes it necessary to get the Elements, rather than just gathering all the unicorns and blasting Moon.
5931660 Yeah our viewpoints are just way too different. From my perspective, the main 6 are indeed useless, with no other purpose than being batteries for the elements, with the exceptions of Twilight and Rainbow for their respective greatness even when compared to outstanding members of their own species. I don't count Pinky because making a character capable of doing the things she does simply by virtue of being that character, with no plausible explanation or reason is essentially cheating. I absolutely think Spike should indeed make them all useless by comparison, except for situations where the elements are involved. Honestly I don't think there is any way to avoid it, because even if he was only half as strong as an alicorn, he should still be more powerful than Twilight, who is only a unicorn. He can fly, so pretty much anything Rainbow can do, he should be capable of as well unless flight speed matters for some odd reason, and he should be far superior to any pony in physical strength. I sincerely hope he doesn't end up with some random element like bravery or balance or some other cliche thing, however he undoubtedly outclasses the main 6.
5931595 Me and DragonPony have something planned out.
loved the update, though i must admit I wish the chapters were a wee bit longer
5932175 If you are planning to give him an element can i suggest the element of courage. I think it would fit with the others and a Legend of zelda reference.
5932497 I try to get them to respectable length, but sometimes you get to a part that just seems to deserve it's own chapter, you know?
5932510 That I do I really love NMM's reaction to leaning Celestia has a son. It was priceless
I was wondering , are you going to do a parody of the whole series?
5932528 How do you mean?
5932543 Well since you're doing the first 2 eps but with ur twist i was wondering if u would continue to do this for all the eps in mlp.
5932561 Oh.
Might go that way, though there'll be a couple we'll probably ignore since he's not a dragon here.
5932575 ok
5932509 After i saw the last 2 ep of season 4, before the finally. I thought that courage would suit him as an element. after seeing him stand up to rarity and save the equestria games.
5932509 We got something planned. you'll see in the next chapter.
No, Spike doesn't get an Element. No seventh element! Please no!
He is a freaking half dragon half alicorn. Hes got plenty of power. Just needs the right training. Maybe if Celestia would stop holding him back worried about Star swirl repeats.
5934341 O shit your right, damn, I don't know if that's just stupid or cold blooded. It's like not writing your will right so when you die the evil uncle can take all the money from the kids level of dump .
5934362 What do you mean holding him back?
5931175 Also, 'adored by everyone' um, no offense, but you did read the 'momma bearlestia' chapter, right? Those were ponies who demanded he be gotten rid of.
And if you're referring to meeting the rest of the Mane 6, RD was reacting in a 'hey, new flier in town.' way and AJ was wary of him when he admitted he'd never been outside Canterlot, remember? she thought he was going to be a stuck-up until his and twilight's chat alleviated her suspicions.
5935159 its sort of a fan theory that Celestia was training Sunset Shimmer to be the Princess of friendship. She taught her advance magic, royal duties, Celestia threw everything into teaching her. But Sunset just wanted power.
Celestia tried not to make that same mistake with Twilight and so she developed a closer bond to Twi. But when Twi was still focusing only on studies Celestia sent her to Ponyville to learn about friendship.
So it is possible she wouldn't teach Spike a whole lot until he learned to respect power, control and of course friendship. Add on to that, he is just getting the age where his body is developed enough to start learning the top tier spells, and it seems like a perfect time for Celestia to no longer have to restrict what to teach him. He should be old enough to learn the magic without hurting himself now. And he has already shown how much he cares for others (Twilight).
Its like you would not give a 5 year old a shotgun. No you teach them safety until they are physically prepared to hold such a powerful weapon. But you also need to make sure they have the right mentality. Otherwise they could go crazy and stat shooting everyone.
The fact that spike is downplayed in the show by a big margin, makes the fanfics that focus on spike being a complete badass, reserve the right to make him a sue of greatness no matter what, if you don't like that, idc read what you like, but I like certain sues cuz they make things fun to read about, if you want to read a story that doesn't produce sues, go read a real book. And at this point in mlp, since neither spike or the dragons backgrounds have been even remotely addressed for more then 1 episode, the writer reserves Wat he wants them to be addressed as.
Am I the only one slightly fangirling over Nightmare Moon's reaction at the beginning of this chapter? It was pure gold, loved it! I wonder how Spike will react to finding how Nightmare Moon is his Aunt!
I died.... And the respawn was like 20 minutes. Stuff like this is gold.
I completely agree with the authors approach.
Spike is still himself only approximately the same age as Twi and more ponylike. He has another aproach as canon to Rarity simply because of a few years experiencing others (most likely) buttering him up. But even then I can not believe those unicorn nobles actually trying to essentially wishing to banish him for what he is... But that was in a past chapter. I think on the power scale he is at exactly the right level for his age and tutelage. NMM is simply powerful and she had time to anticipate his attack with no element of surprise on his side the outcome was clear but Celestia had most likely taken a small gamble on NMMs Reaction to Spike.
It is remarkable that he was only a little injured after her attack... It shows how tough he is without making him OP great chapter! Being a Kirin is simply being another kind of pony with a few specials thrown in. Discord doesn't count because he is a spirit (without chaos he even looses his corporal form and can not even interact with the physical world anymore as seen in Discordant Harmony) Spike on the other appendage is simply a little more ponified PLUS wings early (Kirin are Japanese versions of unicorns and are scaled for some reason in our myths.) I love the rational side of this author (or authors) keeping things in balance.
Sincerly
J