Give Me a Drink
I woke up to a world, so different from my own. The grass was greener. The air was fresher. The sun was brighter. I could feel the warm rays touch my skin. They instantly made...me...feel…
“What the fuck?!” the human said as he rose from the ground, “No…no…no…no! Not this bullshit!”
The human looked around the new, flash animated world, and knew exactly where he was. Instead of pure bliss, he felt nothing, but frustration. Yes, the world looked nice, and beautiful. Yes, the air was fresh, and didn’t taste of chemicals. It was perfect, yet the human didn’t want and part of it.
His feared cliché was beginning.
The human began walking in some random direction. It didn’t matter. He knew exactly what was going to happen. As if on queue, a yellow pegusus flew past him. The human face palmed at his life, and continued walking. The flying pony followed him, but he kept walking. The human wouldn’t play into my..erm…the game. Soon enough, the pony spoke.
“Uh…excuse me…can I help you?” the pegusus asked.
“NO! No..nononono! Just let me be!” The human blurted out. The human then remembered the pony's shy antics, and remembered some key information, “Sorry…Fluttershy. I’m just frustrated right now. Im not suppose to be here, and really want to go home.”
“Well, Twilight may be of help…” The pony whispered.
“Of course” thought the human. His cliché life would follow the cliché path. “Go see Twilight. She would study you. Befriend you. Blah Blah Blah.” No. The human wouldn’t let these train of events happen. He would simply ask for help. If she couldn’t or wouldn’t, then he would leave. Simple as Pie. The human sighed as he followed the pegusus. The cliché Pinkie moment was bound to happen.
Why me? Why me?
The yellow pony knocked on the door of the tree house. Behind her, the creature seemed to be barely containing his anger as Lyra paraded him with questions, and Pinkie Pie sung one of her many welcoming songs. As soon as the door of the library opened, the creature barged in. He immediately closed the door; not allowing Lyra or Pinkie in.
Twilight, dumbfounded by the event and creature, resorted to looking through her books. The human sighed again. More cliché. He walked over to Twilight, grabbed her, and sat her down on the couch. By cliche logic, ponies only came to his thigh.
“Look Twilight, I am a human. I come from the planet Earth. I want to get back. Can you help me?” The human asked.
“How did you know my name?”
“God damn it!” Somehow, the human forgot that that question would somehow arise. To try break the walls of his predestined path, he told the truth, “I watch a television show called My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. You and your friends are Mane (He cursed himself for the pun) characters. SO can you help me or not?”
“Honestly, I don’t know? I never dealt with anything like this before. Maybe if I read…”
The human got up from his seat. By his calculations and all the fan fictions he had read, by the time Twilight found a solution, The human would have befriended all the ponies, defeated some great evil, and possibly…possibly had satyr child with a pony.(He hoped it would be Octavia if that did happen.) So, he decided to go to a higher source of power. The human pushed opened the door only to wish he hadn’t.
The clichverse reared its ugly head, and summoned the Mane(The human mentally slapped himself) six, excluding Twilight who was in the library, had gathered outside the library. Perhaps the human could kill himself and wake up at home? He would give it a shot if everything else failed.
“What in tarnation is that thing?”
“I don’t know, darling. A gorilla of sorts?”
“It looks weird…is it awesome?”
“I found it in the woods…”
“Does it want to party?”
“It says that it is a human, and he wants to go home to…Eerth.”
“Earth…”corrected the human. Apparently, the ponies were shocked that he could talk. The human hated his life. He decided to lie on the ground and close his eyes, for lack of anything better to do.
“What’s the matter with ‘em?” Applejack whispered.
“Maybe he’s dead…”
The human opened his eyes, stood up, and yelled to the heavens, “What’s wrong with me?! What’s wrong with me?! I am trapped in the world of Equestria. I’m supposed to be happy right? It's every bronies dream, right?! But NO! This world has to follow the Laws of cliché. Even know, I feel as I’m being written by a horrible, cheesy writer with a neckbeard!”
The human looked towards the sky in rage waiting for something to happen. With a loud animated “Pop!”, a fedora(which I didn’t make appear) appeared on his head. The human took it off, and threw it towards the ground, yet it didn’t touch the ground. It disappeared, and reappeared on his head. Angered, the human ran into the forest. He heard Pinkie say, “It was a nice hat.”
After wandering in the Everfree forest, the human ran into a hut which he just barged in, and sat. The Zebra inside looked at him and shrugged. Her fuck giving was absolute zero.
“You’re not going to ask me what I am?” asked the human.
“You’re a human. I know that.”
Somewhat amazed, the human spoke yet, Zecora interrupted him. “I make potion all day. Potions that do weird shit. Shit that includes looking into other dimensions. I know stuff.”
“Where’s your accent?”
“I just do that to fuck with the ponies. The riddles confuse the hell out of them. Plus, it makes me seem wise.” Zecora laughed as she added some herbs to her potions and stirred it, “Perfect.”
“So can you help me get home…”
“Dude…this is your home. There’s no going back.”
“So, I’m stuck in clichéville?”
“Unfortunately, yes…” Zecora poured two cups of her potion and handed one to the human, “But you don’t have to go through it sober.”
Without hesitation, the human downed the potion…and never regretted it.
Stats
Page generated in 0.03 seconds
Total duration
1,060 users online
11,164 hits today, 2,151,698 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
I cannot possibly compress my infinite love for this story into human speech.
gods...I-I mean by my beard!!! that was a good story sir
4466614 same here
And if you want to see a real cl read this: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/189262/project-takeover
*cliche
FINALLY! A human who DOESNT want to straight up rape everypony in Equestria!
4467926
Oh, man, are you implying "AND THEN THEY CLOPPED" isn't the most groundbreaking, inconceivably GENIUS-level story-telling plot-device, ever?
Pony, you better step the clop off with that.
(j/k)
I love the part about Zecora lol
That part with Zecora made me bust a gut.
I'd ask for more but that would be...
*dons shades*
Cliche'.
hehe.
i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/764/863/fdc.gif
Put it on Know Your Meme
You forgot the part where Rarity wants to make him new clothes because his old ones are "simply hideous, DHAAAAARRLIING."
4467926
3tghtfg
4468525
This, except without the jk at the end >.<
I love your Zecora. That was awesome. Fuck with ponies and reader's expectations.
why is brocora not a staple of the genre? shit id drink with her any day.
zecora= best pony
very nice
Ah the oldest lesson in the world, if nothing's going your way, GET HAMMERED!
Well... It was actually proven what the height of the ponies were... Sooo... It's kinda correct to assume that they are small
Zecora needs to be this way.
HAHAH
I just love the begginging!!!
Omg this sentence made me die. Also you forgot the part where Celestia shows up and tells you that humans are evil and she'll be watching you.
Meh
Sorry, but I didn't really like it that much. I didn't downvote it or anything, but it was still just "meh". A lot of grammar issues, and I could have done without the swearing.
But I do like the idea, and the humour was pretty good.
One thousand and seventy seven words marked as complete...
LOL
One of the best Rainbow Dash lines in the history of ever.
I's a 'ooman, I come from planet Eerth.
Could use some work on the grammar and spelling.
4475356
Or what about that for no reason or without warning, all the mares in Equestria at same time go into heat, and only want to have sex with the human only? :)
*golf clap*
That's my writer.
This is very tragic if I do say so myself... it's like the bronies' purgatory.
4467926
Hey! I resent that! I wrote 3 HiE fics (technically four if you count the cancelled Changeling fic) where no clop or Human-to-Pony attraction took place. Although there was a pony who had the hots for him, she's only mentioned a few times, and nothing happens other than him getting frustrated.
4475356
or demands that he 'ride her saddle'!
If you hate the ponies, then leave the site. idiot.
4485261 Kind person, where do you see that I said I hate ponies? Absolutely no where. I simply wrote a fanfic. Besides, why would I write 14 other stories if I hated them so much?
"I hate them ponies so I'm going to write fan fictions to spite the show!"
4477875 It wasn't everyone's cup of tea. I thank you for being honest. The hoard of grammar issues are partially because I wanted to get this out before I started second guessing. lol. Unfortunately, that's still no excuse. I'm sorry *bows deeply*
4485423 It's fine. I've done that too a few times. But those stories I regretted and deleted soon after
But I learned that patience and pre-reading is way better because then you can catch more mistakes and even change things if more ideas come to you. And having somebody else look at it is important. I can always find others' mistakes, but always miss my own
>>>possibly had satyr child with a pony>>>
Satyrs are part goat.
Go find Iron Will and get it on with his security guards.
Perhaps he means 'centaur'? HE SHALL GO BACK IN TIME AND SPAWN TIREK!! KILL HIM NOW!!
>>>Without hesitation, the human downed the potion…and never regretted it. >>>
Because it was made with hemlock and he died quickly.
Stop telling on yourself.